Kelly Epperson's Blog, page 17

Cleaning out is first step to planting joy

It’s been about a year now that Prince Charming and I bought this house. The back story involves a vision board sketched with a marker stating “A House with Trees and Privacy.” And it came to be. We can talk about creating your vision, and manifesting it, another time. Today I’m inspired to talk about tending the garden.

The property here was overgrown and neglected. We have spent this first year clearing out, clearing out, clearing out.

The first pass gets the big stuff. Then you see what you have and do another round. That gives more clarity and you keep going. You keep getting rid of the overgrowth until you feel good, knowing that you now have a place to start fresh.

We got rid of dead trees, cracked cement driveways, and various junk we discovered buried in the brush. We found some stuff worth keeping too. We cleared out weeds and poison ivy and stuff that was randomly growing with no clear plan. The more we cleared out, the more we were able to discern what could stay and what would go.

Clearing out takes time. Preparing for what we want takes time. We get to be decisive now about what goes in to this garden. Just because something had been there for a long time didn’t mean it was right or beautiful or appropriate.

Such is life.

We let our souls get overgrown and neglected. When we do heed the call of our Inner Voice and decide to create a life of our dreams, the first step is to get rid of the weeds and all that has taken root that we don’t want.

Some things have been there awhile. You clear out and take a step back. With new discernment, you then discover another area that needs tending too. You do another round of clearing and evaluating.

What has been going on in your life with no care or attention? Do you have people and activities that have taken root that are choking your garden? Bit by bit, do your clearing.

Be selective. Say no. Honor your heart and trust your gut. Maybe you now realized that you spend time with people and activities that no longer serve your growth. Maybe it’s time to plant some new seeds. The first step is to clear out.

If we would have started planting new stuff in this property without properly clearing and preparing, it would not take hold. There would be no room. The old stuff would take over.

Think of a simple example of your closet. Say it is full of stuff that no longer serves you. You decide to buy clothes that fit and flatter. Do you cram the new stuff into nooks and crannies, smushing and wrinkling it? Does the new stuff get lost in there and you still find yourself grabbing those old black slacks? Or do you first clear out the old to make room for the new?

My clients who have cleaned out their closets and only have stuff they like now feel that ripple effect into other areas of their life.

Our lives get busy and we neglect our desires. Our heart of hearts gets buried in the weeds of shoulds, duties, and obligations. If you can clear out little by little of what no longer feels right for you, you will start to see ways that you can implement what you do deesire in your life.

First you have to do the work of pulling the weeds. You might feel a little tender in the process. You might feel a little unsure. That’s when you call in for support. I had various garden experts over (and I have a life coach and a biz coach too). People to give a little guidance and reassurance make the process easier.

Fall is a good time to stock of your life. What is calling you? Can you hear it or is buried amongst the weeds?

Begin by being selective of your time. Only say yes to those things that light you up. Start to clear out your calendar of all the things that have taken root but no longer feed your soul. Little by little, keep clearing.

Have some empty space for a while. You then get to decide with clear eyes and clear heart what you want there.

The process may take time, but the end result is worth it. Your garden, your life, filled with beauty and what brings you joy. Isn’t that something to look forward to?

Did you make your bed today? Do you make you bed every day?

When I was growing up, we made our beds every day except Wednesday because that was the day my mom stripped the sheets and washed the bedding. On occasions when I would forget it was Wednesday and automatically made my bed, I felt like I got ripped off from the free weekly pass of you-do-not-have-to-make-the-bed-today.

Now I don’t see making the bed as a chore at all. The act of the pulling up the sheets, pulling up the comforter, straightening the pillows and giving it the once-over tug and pat for smoothness takes all of two minutes.

Those two minutes can affect your whole day.

I work from home so I see my bedroom throughout the day. When I enter the room, or even catch a glimpse as I pass by, it simply feels good to see the room picked up and the bed made.

Uncluttered space. Tidy. Pretty.

That little energy boost matters.

Little things that we do mean a lot. We all want to feel lighter as opposed to heavy and burdened. Something as trivial as making the bed can make you feel lighter.

Our home is our haven and our bedroom is our sanctuary. A respite, a retreat. Having the bed made and clothes put away affects your sense of well-being. Every woman I have worked with announces surprise and relief when they tidy up the bedroom. It’s an amazing mood lifter. They don’t believe how amazing until they try it.

Another tip I remember from years ago is to have clean sinks. Taking another two minutes to rinse the sink, dump out the strainer, and wipe down the faucet makes the whole kitchen feel cleaner and brighter.

That makes you feel brighter too.

Some women are fastidious housekeepers. Some women are not. No judgement here. The point is that in taking two minutes to make the bed and two minutes to clean the sink, you will feel better. You literally affect your mood by these simple actions, and if we can alter our mood in five minutes or less, why not give it a try.

What else can you do in two minutes to affect your day and feel lighter? There are all kinds of two-minute drills you can do around the house to de-clutter. Believe it or not, you will power in doing so.

There are other two-minute mood busters that have nothing to do with clutter or cleaning. You can close your eyes for two minutes and listen. Listen to the wind blow. Listen to wind chimes. A lawn mower. Birds singing. Kids playing.

You can close your eyes for two minutes and listen to your favorite song, whether live or in your memory. You can close your eyes for two minutes and replay a tender moment with your honey. You can close your eyes for two minutes and imagine yourself at the beach or some other relaxing spot that calms you.

You can step outside and breathe fresh air for two minutes.

You can jump rope, play hopscotch, or hula hoop. Believe me, two minutes will seem like a long time then.

To feel peace on the inside, all you need is two minutes here and there. It starts with making your bed in the morning. Where it goes from there is completely up to you. Let me know some of your ideas. I’m taking a two minute break to watch the squirrels.

Mommies Back to School

You might not like all the other mommies but you can play nice

Back to school time. Ahh, it strikes fear in the hearts of children and glee in the hearts of mothers. Well, not really, but some kids dread returning to school and some moms count down the days until that school bell rings again.

Some mommies look down their noses at the other mamas who are glad when school starts back up again. Some moms dread back to school simply because of the other moms.

We cannot lump all mommies into one pile or another. We can respect each other though. Sure, some moms bellyache and seem a little callous sometimes. Let us not judge. No one really knows the heart of another person.

As I observe moms and kids at the stores holding their school supply lists and marking off paints, glue sticks, and folders, I see some moms laughing with their kids and some barking at their kids. My heart goes out to both. I have been both.

On any given day, a mom wears a thousand hats and feels a thousand emotions. We love our kids, and yes, at times, they drive us crazy. Even in those moments, we love them. When we bark at them, it probably just means that we, mommy, are tired and/or hungry.

I was glad to have the rhythms of the school year and I also enjoyed the loosey-goosey of summer. Actually summers got pretty busy when they were older, with the onset of organized sports, but that’s another story. (Reminder to self: no judging.)

The morale of the story is that we moms sometime compare ourselves to other moms. I will confess I was not the mom making rice krispie treats that looked Christmas packages, and I was the mom inwardly accusing those moms of being “room mom over-achievers.” (Judge-o-meter has learned a lot since then.)

I’m delighted I no longer have to provide snacks, make crafts, or supervise kids on field trips any more. I had those days, enjoyed them, and now love what having my young men offers. Freedom, for them and me.

Each stage is to be enjoyed, and if you don’t love all the aspects of kids and school, that’s normal. If you don’t love all the moms, that’s normal. Please, do not compare yourself. You are darn awesome even if you don’t make locker decorations for 36 kids. If you are that mom with the hot glue gun in a holster on your hip and you do it from all scratch because it brings you joy, party on. You are darn awesome too.

We teach our kids to play nice, to be respectful, and that not everyone is going to be their best friend. They can be kind to all. There is a quote that goes something like kindness is in our power, even if fondness is not.

Some of the moms might rub you the wrong way. Big deal. Let it go. You won’t be fond of everyone. You can be kind though.

School is about education and social skills. We never stop learning. Peer pressure never goes away. We can deal with it differently as adults. We can understand that every mom is simply doing the best she can.

You are doing the best you can. Relax. Stop comparing. Take care of your babies and have fun along the way. Before you know it, back to school will mean moving them into a college dorm. Who knows, you might even get the urge to make rice krispie treats that look like packages.

Take a Hike

Has anyone ever told you to go take a hike? They may mean to buzz off, but truly they are offering great advice.

A hike is the best thing you can do. Studies upon studies show the benefits of being in nature. Breathing oxygen deep into your lungs changes your body chemistry and calms the nerves, slows the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, and stops the mind from racing. To regain a healthy perspective, the best you can do is go take a hike.

If you don’t have a park or woods nearby, taking a walk is just as good. Strolling the neighborhood is good for body, mind, and spirit.

Again, there are studies (sign me up to be a part of these fun studies!) that show all you need is twenty-six minutes out walking for optimal health benefits. In slightly less than a half hour, you can get the oxytocins (feel-good chemicals) flowing.

If you are wanting to lose weight, 26 minutes of brisk walking with the arms swinging does the trick. If you are simply wanting to lose the weight of the world, go for a walk.

When I feel tension creeping in, walking is a magic cure. To ward it off and stay in a good place, a daily morning walk is a wonderful prescription. The worrisome thoughts fade away with each step and the peaceful thoughts drift in.

If you are fretting over something, go for a walk. Let the inner chatter have its say, and then it let dissipate. Breathe in the air. Be in the moment. What do you see? What do you hear?

I know a gal who loves walking her small downtown each morning. She enjoys people watching, random conversations, and taking her breakfast with her journal at a local coffee shop. That feeds her soul as much as a walk in the trees.

What does it for you? Experiment. Do you like a morning walk? An evening after dinner walk? Do you like to walk alone? Do you enjoy another’s company?

A word to the wise for all you who walk with pals. The stride time is to clear out, not to rehash. You are letting go of worries, not taking on more. If the conversation starts to do down a negative path, switch it back.

The walk is not a gossip session or a time to gripe.  It’s a time to thank our bodies for the ability to move, and to enjoy all our senses. Guide the conversation with “What’s new and good?” It may take time to get everyone on board with this, but everyone will feel better. If your walking partners do not agree, find new partners or walk alone.

As you stroll, notice the flower gardens. Notice the squirrels scampering. Notice the birds and the various noises they make.

Maybe you take a walk on your lunch break. Use the time for its whole purpose. You are doing something good for your body by getting out and moving. Let the walk do the same good for your mind. Let go of the tension and breathe in calm.

If you have trouble getting to that place inside, think the words “thank” and “you” with each footstep. Even if you don’t know what you are thankful for at the moment, saying those words will shift your internal energy and you will return refreshed.

The next time someone says, “Go take a hike” simply smile and say, “Great idea!”

Tune in to your Inner Voice

“It is quite natural, in pursuing enlightenment or just in trying to be happier, to look to your everyday experiences for signs of results. Indeed, your daily life is nothing else but an expression of your spiritual condition. Your life will change as you become more loving, but not in ways you can exactly predict.” Thaddeus Golas

Amen. And a great big yes-indeedy. It makes perfect sense to look at our everyday experiences for signs of results. What else is there?

If I desire to be happier and don’t feel any change in my happiness level in the everydayness of my life, then what’s the point? Weekends. Check. Holidays. Check. Vacations. Check. Every single ordinary day? Check!

Life = every day.

My life is comprised of my daily life, with occasional mass groupings of days in a row that get the label weekend, holiday, or vacation. I desire my daily daily daily ordinary existence to be joyful. My daily life is my happy life. My happy life is my daily life. Right here, right now, Thursday afternoon at 3 pm.

Your daily life is an expression of your inner condition. If things inside you are a bit murky, the outerness of your life is going to reflect you feeling stagnant, or stuck, or a general state of discontent.

The gnawing of “there’s gotta be something more” starts to murmur within you. So answer the call! The murmur, the soft indistinct sound that whispers quietly, is your Inner Voice. What is yours saying?

Have you been ignoring it? Shushing it? Too busy to give it attention? You’ll tune in and follow your heart someday? When is someday? Does it get a chance on those days we call weekend, holiday, and vacation? How does that feel?

I agree with the quote above. When you become more loving, especially toward YOU, your life will change. And in ways you cannot even predict right now. As I tuned in to my Inner Voice, my IV, my life has propelled down a new path. One that we call joy.

You cannot exactly predict HOW things will occur, but you can rest assured knowing that when you tune in to your IV, things will change.

I’m kind of an information junkie. I love learning. There came a time when I had to stop thinking about my life and start doing something. I listened to my pal Leonardo da Vinci: “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.”

Doing requires putting ourselves out there. Asking for support to help me get in touch with my IV required me to be vulnerable. Best thing I ever did for myself. Becoming more loving, especially toward me, made all the difference. Step by step, I keep doing. Always learning and growing, and always checking in to see if my daily experience shows signs of results.

Yep. Progress, progress, progress. Feeling better leads to feeling better. You’ve heard me say it before and I will say it over and over: The better it gets, the better it gets.

In pursuing your own enlightenment and/or happiness, what are you doing to become more loving toward you? What are you doing to allow your life to become more joyful? What are you doing to check with yourself to see how your spiritual condition expresses?

If you have a self-help book that resonates with you, read it and DO the exercises.

If you have promised yourself a walk in the woods this fall, DO it.

If you have thought about a seminar, retreat or workshop, DO it.

If you have considered a coach or online program, DO it.

If you have wished for a massage, DO it.

If you have a journal and feel called to write it in, DO it.

If you have desired to dabble in something artsy/craftsy/creative, DO it.

Your Inner Voice is whispering to you. Honor it. Watch for signs in your life. The more you honor you, the more happiness enters your daily experience.

The better it gets, the better it gets. Give it a whirl and see for yourself. Keep me posted.

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Kelly’s Joy Beyond Your Dreams life mastery program teaches HOW TO find that inner voice again and how to learn to honor yourself again. Begins October 1!

 

Self-Conscious to Self-Aware

How delightful it is when we watch little kids dance. We see their freedom and joy, and it makes us smile. How delightful it is when we see “older” people dance. We see their freedom and joy (and gracefulness), and it makes us smile.

Little kids don’t know anything but expressing themselves. Older folks arrive back to expressing themselves freely and they’ve stopped giving a rip about what others think.

What about all the in-between years? Why don’t we dance? The bulk of life is those in-between years. Why do we hold back? I hear your reply. So I respond: Why do we care so much about what other people think?

Little kids live life. Do you live life? Fully, freely? When is the last time you twirled? What’s stopping you?

Do you refrain because Other People will think you’re nuts? Who exactly are those Other People? Have they been issued a badge to follow you around and observe you? Will they haul you off and lock you up if they see you acting silly?

Let me look that up. Hmm. Misdemeanor for joyful expression. Don’t see that.

Feeling self-conscious is learned behavior. The beauty of learned behavior is that we can unlearn it.

The actual definition of self-conscious is “aware of one’s existence.” Nothing wrong with that. The being unduly aware of oneself as the object of the attention of others comes next. When we think others are placing attention on us, negative attention, we feel embarrassed and that is what we call self-conscious.

I like this definition of self-conscious the best: “Aware of oneself as an individual or of one’s own being, actions, or thoughts.”

That is what I teach in my joy programs. Awareness. No pressure, no judging, no comparison. No embarrassment. Simply becoming aware of oneself and noticing one’s own being, actions, and thoughts. Holy cow, there’s power in that.

I hereby give you the badge and proclaim you the Follower Arounder of You. Notice yourself. Pay attention to you, your being. Pay attention to your actions and thoughts.

Where/when/how do you hold yourself back? Why?

Where/when/how do you berate yourself? Why?

Where/when/how do you compare yourself? Why?

Where/when/how do you judge yourself? Why?

Where/when/how are you kind to yourself? How often does that occur? Why?

As adults we are self-conscious in that we are aware of our existence. That’s a good thing. Little ones don’t grasp that. As an adult, you also place rules on yourself. Learned behavior over the years. Are you a hard taskmaster? Do you ever cut yourself some slack?

For this next week, be the Follower Arounder of You. Take notes. How often do you say “I can’t do that”? Why can’t you? Is it because Other People will give you a sideways glance? First of all, no bodily harm occurs from a sideways glance. Secondly, perhaps Other People are slightly envious that you have the guts to twirl in the produce department. Maybe Other People secretly want permission to have fun. Maybe you can be an inspiration. Hmmm.

The badge of being the observer of yourself leads to the next badge, the badge of courage. First you notice what you do and think, and then you adjust accordingly. If, for example, you think you CAN’T have pancakes for supper, ask yourself if you WANT pancakes for supper. If so, have pancakes for supper.

If the sky doesn’t fall on you, lightning doesn’t strike you dead, and the Breakfast Food Police don’t bang down your door, proceed on.

If you think you CAN’T go back to school, ask yourself if you WANT to go back to school. If so, go back to school. If you think you CAN’T say no to the committee invitation, ask yourself if you WANT to say no to the invitation. If so, say no. If you think you CAN’T dance at the local hoedown, ask yourself if you WANT to dance. If so, dance.

Start noticing how you hold yourself back, in big and small ways, in silly and serious ways. Start noticing how if you try one tiny thing, the world doesn’t engulf you, embarrassment doesn’t kill you, and the earth doesn’t spin off its axis.

Notice how much pressure you put on yourself. Notice how tense you feel. Notice how you feel when you allow yourself to do something you actually want to do. The joy of being adult is that you get to make the rules for your own life. Don’t fall prey to those in the world who think otherwise. What do YOU think? Ask yourself.

You get to be card-carrying, badge-wearing boss of you. This is your life. Don’t wait until you are “old” to have fun. Don’t postpone joy because of fear of embarrassment. Try something now. When you see that Other People’s opinions do not penetrate your internal organs, you will try something else, and then something else.

Before you know it, you will be an adult having fun. Go ahead and twirl.

(To discover how you can cut through the layers holding you back, the Joy Beyond Your Dreams life mastery program is enrolling now.)

Under Pressure

As my desk piles up and my inbox overflows, I feel a bit of stress seep in. The anxious thought of “how will I get it all done” creeps in. Then I remember that I have felt this way before. And I have gotten it all done before. I can do it in a stressed out manner, or I can do it calmly. The choice is up to me.

When the deadlines loom and I have many tasks to be accomplished, I do what I tell the ladies in my programs to do.

Get it all out of the head and onto paper. That means I make a list of all that needs to get done. When it is swarming in my head, it feels overwhelming. When it gets jotted on paper, it loses its power over me. A dozen to-do’s that swim in circles in my mind shouting at me lose their loudness when they are printed on a piece of paper. It’s just twelve things instead of twelve things repeating and repeating and repeating in my brain so it feels like twelve thousand.

Once we get the shouting tasks out of our head, we too need to get out of our head. If I am feeling keyed up, I take a “smoke break” and step outside before tackling the list. Standing in the fresh air, breathing in oxygen cleanses the body and the brain.

There are many ways to induce calm. To switch gears from overwhelm to can-do, I play one of my go-to songs. The video of the guy with the two Kermit puppets singing Under Pressure works wonders for me. Play something that gets you out of your head for a few minutes.

If you’re hungry, take a snack break. If you’re frazzled, take a ten-minute walk. The time out is more than worth it. You come back energized and clear-headed.

You truly are changing yourself, from the inside out. Stress chemicals can be dissipated with cleansing chemicals. All it takes is a conscious awareness that the stress monster is here and he can be fed with something that soothes him, like food, music, rest or a stretch.

We often let the stress monster grow. When we feel overwhelmed, we can succumb to the panic, or instead we can take a few deep belly breaths. Ahh, that feels better.

Good old Wikipedia says: “Stress typically describes a negative concept that can have an impact on one’s mental and physical well-being, but it is unclear what exactly defines stress and whether or not stress is a cause, an effect, or the process connecting the two.”

Interesting. Stress certainly has an impact on our well-being. Studies say that 70% of all disease is stress-induced. When you learn to let the steam out, your well-being improves significantly.

I love the question of stress as cause or effect or a combination of the two. Ponder that. When we have a lot on our plate, we think that causes stress. The fact is simply that we have a lot on our plate. We can make it stressful or not. When we let stress in, it magnifies. Stress begets stress. We spiral off into a tizzy of all that is undone, all that is wrong with the world, and all that is wrong with us. We let the stress monster grow into this big scary thing with fangs.

How about picturing the stress monster as the blue guy from the movie Monsters Inc. He’s not so scary. Your stress monster is as big and scary as you make him. He doesn’t have to be. Stress is the effect of us fretting. We don’t have to. Why not be blunt and say, “Okay, I have a lot to do. Let’s do it.” Do one task. That action gets the momentum going. You get something done and cross it off the list. Yay! That success leads to energy for the next task. And so it goes.

Instead of spinning into a hole, get it out of the head and get out of your head. If you must spin, do it like a dance. Perhaps like a Kermit puppet. You can stress yourself or you can love yourself. Take a line from the lyrics of “Under Pressure”: “Can’t we give ourselves one more chance….can’t we give love that one more chance….loves dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves.”

Um boom ba bay.

+++++ Kelly’s Joy Beyond Your Dreams life mastery program teaches how to cut the stress. Enrollment starts soon!

Hold on to you

In the book, The Exquisite Risk, Mark Nepo writes: All things gestate and grow, and shed and grow. Many life forms do this more than once. Snakes shed their skin. Birds molt their feathers. Nests are built and broken down and built elsewhere. Most plants move through this cycle every year.

He says we humans do this constantly too. I say some of us humans do.

When we learn that we can shed an old layer of skin, an old habit, an old way of looking at our world, we can indeed step into a new way of being. We can grow and shed and grow some more.

It’s the realization that we don’t have to stay stuck in the “it’s just the ways things are/it’s just the way I am” mode that is the beginning of the shedding and growing process.

Some people have not had this realization yet. They honestly believe life is stagnant, that growth only occurs in the first eighteen years of life and after that, it is what it is.

Oh my goodness, me oh my, I am so not the girl I was at eighteen. I am not the girl I was at 28 or 38. I’ve done a lot of shedding and growing. And let me tell ya, I feel lighter all the time.

Holding on versus letting go seems to be the struggle. What do we hold on to? Hold on to love. Let go of ideas/people/things that no longer mesh with that. Hold on to self-love. Let go of ideas/people/things that no longer mesh with that. Hold on to gratitude. Let go of ideas/people/things that no longer mesh with that.

Hold on to you.

As we progress through life, we have more demands on our time and energy. Hold on to you. As we progress through life, we get sidetracked with shoulds, duties, and obligations. Hold on to you. As we progress through life, we get swayed by other’s expectations. Hold on to you.

Many women feel that they have lost themselves. You are still in there. You just need to do some excavation. The walls went up, once as a protective barrier certainly, and now you may no longer need them. Let the walls come down. Embrace the inner you.

What do you desire to shed? If you said you wanted to shed a few pounds, you can. You don’t have to start with a diet. You can simply start by paying attention to you. Your heart, your desires, your joys. When you honor yourself with small things, big things start to happen.

If you choose to focus on weight loss, other areas will change too.

If you choose to focus on time “management,” other areas will change too.

If you choose to focus on clutter, other areas will change too.

I have clients who shed clothes from their closets and then are delighted to see pounds drop off their bodies. I have clients who start being deliberate in who they spend their time with and they find they have more energy and pep in all areas of life.

Pick one area to focus on. If you pick weight loss, don’t start with the diet. Start with taking a walk. Enjoy the time. 26 minutes a day of brisk walking is all you need. You’ll find the time outdoors and the time spend unwinding will do you a world of good in many other ways. When you feel better, have more energy, and a healthier perspective, it makes it easier to make slight gradual changes in what and how you eat.  So you’ll see pounds shed too.

Our actions and thoughts are linked. What we do for one part of us benefits all parts of us. When you do the closet clean-out, you feel so much lighter – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically – that it affects you in other ways.

Some things may be a challenge. Maybe you want to let go of an expectation. For example, if you always go home for the holidays and this year you really don’t want to, tell your family NOW that you won’t be traveling this holiday season. You simply want to stay home and recharge. Convey your love and don’t get caught up in any drama that may ensue.

Let go of the notion that they will stop loving you if you don’t do it their way. They love you and want to see you. You love them and want to see them. When it works for you. Pay attention to your time and energy. You can shed old habits. You can grow. Over and over and over again.

We often don’t think that things can be different. We are creatures of habit. We also can create new habits.

When faced with letting go versus holding on: Hold on to love; hold on to self-love; hold on to gratitude. Let go of anything else that does not resonate with that. Always, always, always, hold on to you.

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(Kelly’s joy programs teach how to do just that.)

 

She flies through the air with the greatest of ease. Not.

Earlier this summer we went zip lining. It was a new thing for me and I was a little nervous. The instructor gals showed us the ropes (I’m so punny) and then we were off to the first station.

You climb stairs to get up to the first “launch pad” and then you go from platform to platform by zipping along lines rigged up on poles and trees. You fly among the treetops, along a course of sorts.

The first one of course is the kicker. You have to step off the platform. Butterflies took flight in my stomach before I took flight.

It’s a matter of trust. I trusted the line would hold me. I trusted the harness would hold me. I trusted the instructor would stop me on the end before I crashed into the pole. I trusted. Yet I hesitated.

A simple fear of the unknown. I didn’t know what it felt like to zip line. I wanted to know what it would it be like before I did it.

Life doesn’t always work that way. We don’t know what it’s like to fall in love before we do it. We don’t know what it’s like to have a baby before we do it. We don’t know what it’s like to eat a warm from the oven fudge brownie before we do it.

Sometimes we just have to do it.

One small step off a platform and wheee! Soaring fun among the treetops! It was a blast! And really it’s not even a step; you just lift your legs up and let the line, your weight, and gravity do their thing.

Zip line to zip line, fast and fun and pretty in there among the trees. Fear was gone after the first short run. Funny how all you have to do is try something once. You then realize there was nothing to be afraid of.

But oh we hold ourselves back. It seems safer to stay on the platform. Then you realize it’s just as safe to soar.

The last zip line at this course was a dual duel straight-away. Two lines in tandem can “race” each other to the finish. It was high-flying fun at its finest.

I was so glad I did it, even if I was a chicken at first. Story of my life.

What has you standing on the platform of life, wanting to let go and have some fun, yet you hold yourself back?

Take a deep breath and trust. Step off, one tiny step. The fear of the unknown disappears as soon as you do.

I confess I was nervous to kayak a couple years ago. I thought I would tip over. What if I did? Big whoop, I’d get wet. But I had never been in a kayak. Thus the unknown factor weighed in. I went for a ride with a reader who invited me. She took me in a 2-person kayak so I could see what it feels like. Oh my joy, I love kayaking! It is the most peaceful experience, (I just paddle around a calm lake.)

If I never did anything that I had never done before, life would be pretty dull. Even trying new foods used to be something I would not do. Now I know that if I don’t like something, I can spit it out. My tongue won’t turn black and I would erupt into convulsions. And I have discovered a whole world of seafood I now enjoy.

It’s okay to be chicken. It’s okay to give it a whirl, even if you feel a little dance in your tummy. It’s just your cells rearranging and shouting hurray. Think of the butterflies in your stomach doing a happy dance/flight of joy in there. That’s what you feel, excitement.

This week, pick one thing and step off the platform. Trust. And let me know your experience!

There Came a Time to Blossom

I recently came across some old journals, one of which had several jottings from a “quote box” at a retreat center I went to a while back.

When we had an opportunity for free time, to do so some self-reflection, to wander the property, and read and write, I snuggled into a big window seat, discovering a box on the window sill filled with little quote cards.

It was my piece of heaven. I was thrilled and grateful for someone to create such a thing, knowing that many women before me had sat in that cozy seat and found solace and joy.

Some of my scribbles from that day include:

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” (Anais Nin)

That quote was not a new one on me. I have that saying now on a shirt. I have that on a postcard. I have that in my heart. It was fitting it was the first quote I pulled out of the box. That was the weekend I decided to blossom, even if it meant growing pains.

It is no coincidence that at the start of that retreat we were instructed to explore the property and bring a back an item from nature to put in the center our circle. I found a bud, the perfect match for this quote that I had known and held in my heart so long.

As I read through my notes now, I am reminded to be still, be centered, to be here and now. Sometimes my thoughts go at warp speed and my to-do list seems never ending. It’s good to get back to basics.

“I have four great vows:

When I’m hungry, I eat;

When I’m cold, I put on more clothes;

When I’m tired, I stretch out and sleep;

When it gets warm, I like to find a cool breeze.” (Baiyun Shouduan)

My self-care habits have improved greatly over the years. I take better care of my self, I sleep more, and I feel better. When we understand our worth, it makes sense to treat ourselves with more care.

When I work with women, I see that many still go-go-go, do-do-do, check-check-check, and yet feel guilty about investing any time, money, or energy into their self-care or their growth. Is it any wonder why we feel so tense and clenched up inside?

“We inhabit ourselves without valuing ourselves, unable to see that here, now, this very moment is sacred.” (Joyce Carol Oates)

At the bottom of this page, I have a note to myself: Just help them get started.

Seeing those words kind of knocked my socks off. That is what I do now, help women get started seeing their worth, their beauty, their joy.

Creating a life I love has been a process. Somewhere deep inside of me I must have known it was possible. That’s why I was drawn to certain books, retreats, workshops, events, people, ideas, and opportunities.

Yes, I had the conflicting voices going strong in my head. I’m glad the voice of my heart was louder than the committee in my head.

I’ve learned now how to listen to that voice. I still am not immune to spinning into a tizzy or neglecting my own self-care. I do however get back on track quicker with no real fall-out or residual damage.

I have a few vows of my own. When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep. When restless, go for a walk. When tears come, let them. When happiness comes, let it in. (and when you fall off the groove wagon, get over yourself, and get back on.)

No need to complicate it more than that. It takes daily reminders to myself, in a plethora of different ways. I love that my life’s work is “helping them get started.”

I look at how far I’ve come in my joy journey and am grateful for all those who have helped me along my path. To the unknown person who took the time to copy quotes and put them in a pretty box, thank you. To my inner voice for speaking up and my physical self for listening, thank you. To all of you who share this ride with me, thank you.

For everything that’s still to come, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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(Kelly’s Joy Jumpstart program launches soon! If somewhere inside of you there is a voice telling you it’s possible to blossom, listen. Sign up today!)