Andrew Moore's Blog, page 7

Addendum

And if they have a thousand distinct terms like terrestrial conveyances do, all the better. Quick, which one's a brougham? That's an easier one, as you can tell because I remembered the name.

Fantasy Spaceships

Often they're based on sailing ships, but likening space to the oceans is a more recent thing. Fantasy spaceships should be reminiscent of chariots, wagons, and carriages.

Neglected Repairs

It was a five-camera job: Two for dynamic footage of the howling protesters kept outside by barriers and bored security personnel, two on the site (ground-level and aerial), and the last for the interview itself.
"Surely we aren't to believe there isn't something disgraceful about having this place reduced to a single purchase?"
"I can't say what you are or aren't, but I think it's amazing that we've reached the point in human prosperity where someone like me can buy all of Great Britain. With all the space stations and the extraterrestrial colonies and the virtual realms, I don't think of this island as reduced at all. We've all gotten big because of technological progress, we're more prosperous than ever, and I'm going to fix this place up the way bureaucrats never got around to doing. Starting right here."
As he gestured, the segment producer switched to one of the site drones in case anyone missed the connection. Perhaps someone who started watching late.
"Yes, about that. What do you have to say to the people who insist, with tradition behind them I might add, to say nothing of sensibility and delicacy, that this place does not in fact need to be 'fixed?' That it is in further fact an outrage, what you're proposing to do here today?"
"I'm not proposing, I'm doing. That's number one. Number two is, look at it, of course it's broke. Ready over there? All right, start."
At the owner of Great Britain's command, great machines began to lay precision-cut stones so as to perfect the composition of Stonehenge, heedless of the protesters who managed against expected human capacity to shout even louder. When they finished, less than an hour later, thunder boomed on that cloudless day, and in the center of the great menhirs, a fog arose from the ground that reached to the sky. From it a man emerged, clad in robes and wisdom, who strode forward to deliver this address.
"Because of your actions flow again the powers of magic, charms, and sorcery long denied to man but never forgotten. Well done. Of my disciples in this generation, you shall be the first and greatest."
"Well I'm glad to hear it," Great Britain's owner said.
Finis

The Backwards Literary industry

Not before publishers get with it and add chapters for a book's tenth anniversary will the written word be able to compete with other media.

Addendum

And the upper crust will live outside the main superstructure too so it's harder to visit them, they get better views, and their debauchery is harder to interrupt? Unbelievable. The future really is something.

Ship Trip

In the future, when people are living on huge spaceships making circuits among all the galaxy's best places, do you think they'll hold the races inside or on the outside? What's that you say? On a track away from the hull but still attached to it so it's easier to see by the picnickers sitting on the hull? You're no ordinary speculator.

Addendum

Just because something doesn't get much current discussion doesn't mean it can't curse you. This is general life advice.

Ancient Fashion

People used to talk about pyramids all the time. They wouldn't shut up. Then they stopped, but then they started again, but now nobody talks about pyramids. Don't be fooled, though. They still visit the silly things. From this I conclude the popularity of pyramids is perennial. The lesson here is that fashion applies to fashion itself; pyramids are fashionable, but talking about how fashionable they are is not. Sometimes Stonehenge is on top, sometimes this, sometimes that. As for the significance, I dunno. Keep it in mind. Someday the rewards could be staggering.

It's Time to Start Remaking Books

Movies are remade all the time. You might think that has something to do with the medium, but way back when, everybody wrote his own version of the Argo's travels or King Arthur's rise and fall. What changed? Nothing that can't be changed back, especially when we revise those darn intellectual property laws in the interests of mankind's survival.

Advent of the Skelemancer

"Allow me to state that, while I did not and do not object to this invitation, I do object to calling him 'the Skelemancer" for the simple act of having a skeleton walk around while on fire, as though that were some defining deed. Mobile skeletons are a common trick."
"Speaking respectfully, when did you try to set fire to bone before, and how long did that fire last, presuming you succeeded?"
"Oh. I was distracted by the less important part, and I rescind my criticism."
The Learned Fellows of Trijna resumed waiting for their guest in complete serenity. Neither the state nor the wait lasted long, for when Jumo i Zuza entered, the man who lately had gained a reputation as the Skelemancer, he had with him a companion startling even to those who thought themselves informed.
"Is that a crystal skeleton? What beast provided the materials?"
"Does this chill I feel have a physical element, or is it nothing but awe which causes it?"
"Learned fellows! I begin the lecture now. This is a human skeleton to which I applied the principle of hardening! I have proved to my satisfaction that this world consists of substrates and processes. Our system of elements is jumbled with some of each, but by experimentation we will reduce it to sanity. I have applied flame, a process, to bone, and replaced water with bone as the substrate for the hardening action which produces ice. And next . . ."
"Surely you do not intend to apply the motion of air to produce farting skeletons! What of dignity?"
Jumo i Zuza raised his arms. "There is no dignity in ignorance."
"This title of Skelemance, if anything, is insufficient for this man, a true Skelosopher!"
Finis