Andrew Moore's Blog, page 129
March 11, 2022
Addender
Sometimes, when people say, "Nobody knows X," they are excepting themselves. Not this time.
March 10, 2022
Addendum
The Trolls of Gummi Bears. The Ghosts of Pac-Man. The Simon Bar Sinister of Underdog, which sounds like some kind of allegedly deconstructionist remake. Too bad nobody knows what deconstruction means.
March 9, 2022
A Realization Too Late
Why do those pirates get to be in the title of Pirates of Dark Water? The Pokemon cartoon isn't called Team Rocket of Pokemon, and you could make a better case for that one.
March 8, 2022
Question of the Week
Does Buck Rogers count as isekai? The answer is yes. Come back next week for more questions with a clear correct answer!
March 7, 2022
The Problem With Fantasy Today
Are those personality quizzes like what house you would be in or what element you would be still around? Those were great advertising.
The Adventurer Is a King?!?!
"The, ah, adventurers await your pleasure, Your Majesty."
"Mm." Ofza's king grunted and stomped over to the tertiary study. He did not want anyone to see him talking to disreputable wanderers with swords and spells as if he acknowledged them as worthy of consideration. He wanted even more to have no need of doing so, but the situation mandated an unorthodox response. His subjects, disappearing? Crops turning black, or red, or into rock? His armsmen had not been trained for such things.
In the study, representatives of a dozen adventuring bands had gathered, some nervous, some affecting disdain for their royal surroundings, some maintaining a professional pose. Ofza looked them all over. A scarred man, probably a soldier or mercenary who liked fighting but hated war. A young man with bright eyes and a permanent smile, possibly insane. And then . . . "What is this? Are you not our cousin of Ertuy?"
The warrior wearing shining armor that seemed proof even against weapons wrought not by men nodded. "Hail, cousin. We heard you had need of adventurers."
"But you are no adventurer. You are a king."
Ertuy laughed. "Yes, a king with sprawling estates. Estates that gave little revenue when we inherited them on account of various nuisances, and therefore we took up arms to instruct the trolls, witches, werewolves, and fairies who abused our hospitality how they ought to behave. We did so, and when we put hands on the treasures they had hidden away from man's knowledge, well, the revenues of our estates seemed small in comparison. Why not continue? That was our thought." "Mm. Mmmmm." Ofza pondered the story. "We do possess arms of better than usual craftsmanship . . ."
"That's the way, cousin!"
Finis
"Mm." Ofza's king grunted and stomped over to the tertiary study. He did not want anyone to see him talking to disreputable wanderers with swords and spells as if he acknowledged them as worthy of consideration. He wanted even more to have no need of doing so, but the situation mandated an unorthodox response. His subjects, disappearing? Crops turning black, or red, or into rock? His armsmen had not been trained for such things.
In the study, representatives of a dozen adventuring bands had gathered, some nervous, some affecting disdain for their royal surroundings, some maintaining a professional pose. Ofza looked them all over. A scarred man, probably a soldier or mercenary who liked fighting but hated war. A young man with bright eyes and a permanent smile, possibly insane. And then . . . "What is this? Are you not our cousin of Ertuy?"
The warrior wearing shining armor that seemed proof even against weapons wrought not by men nodded. "Hail, cousin. We heard you had need of adventurers."
"But you are no adventurer. You are a king."
Ertuy laughed. "Yes, a king with sprawling estates. Estates that gave little revenue when we inherited them on account of various nuisances, and therefore we took up arms to instruct the trolls, witches, werewolves, and fairies who abused our hospitality how they ought to behave. We did so, and when we put hands on the treasures they had hidden away from man's knowledge, well, the revenues of our estates seemed small in comparison. Why not continue? That was our thought." "Mm. Mmmmm." Ofza pondered the story. "We do possess arms of better than usual craftsmanship . . ."
"That's the way, cousin!"
Finis
March 5, 2022
Addendum
Science fiction too. I want to see some D-list actors standing around in ill-fitting uniforms talking about how a new berserker has appeared between on-rails space shooting sequences. I want Ringworld where the tiger guy looks like the Wing Commander III Kilrathi, except much worse.
March 4, 2022
A Note on Fantasy Adaptations
An opinion is making the rounds that holds fantasy series should be adapted into animated series. This is incorrect. They should all be FMV games.
March 3, 2022
Terminology
In fantasy, it's called a "prophecy." In science fiction, it's called a "projection." The word used is the only difference, which makes getting it right crucial.
Nostalgia Corner
Remember dragons? Those were the days.
