Andrew Moore's Blog, page 132
February 10, 2022
A Plausible Threat
"My parrot takes care of the gentlemanly stuff while I slit throats," the pirate captain with the sophisticated parrot told them. "Now tell me where the treasure is."
February 9, 2022
Addendum
Of course the parrot wants some disgusting kind of cheese on its cracker. Very runny and very expensive.
February 8, 2022
Trends Never Stay Still
Out: A mysterious person with one glove
In: A pirate captain with a very sophisticated parrot
In: A pirate captain with a very sophisticated parrot
February 7, 2022
The Spirit of Inquiry
Professor Weblen supervised the final fitting of his life's work, his most sophisticated and useful device. His assistants mounted the wheels on the axle and placed the rune-covered axle caps with as much caution as they would any other delicate thaumaturgical construct. The carriage received an alarmingly intricate array of instruments and etheric controls before being covered by a shield-generating parasol. As to the yoke-like section, it had nothing to do with horses but rather ended up attached to a shell of one of those great time-defying turtles said to live forever, unless someone hunted them for technological reasons. The shell hovered, unusual behavior for turtles but expected if one looked under it and saw the pan-elemental animation engine, the finest available, occupying the space.
The assistants, each of whom might have been welcomed in any number of courts or merchant houses but stayed with the professor to learn even more, backed away so the great man could inspect their work.
"Mhm. Mmmhm. Mm. Yep." Professor Welben nodded, tilted his head, nodded, and tilted it the other way. "Yes, that's it. The Time Chariot is completed. I'm going to go back and ask the legendary hero why he sealed the nightmare king instead of just killing him. So inefficient!"
The assistants gasped when they saw the professor enter the carriage, and gasped again when he started adjusting levers and turning dials. "Sir! It hasn't been tested!"
He blinked at them. "Of course it hasn't. This is the test drive. Be back immediately if not sooner!" The chariot jerked forward, reared back, and dashed straight into nowhere they could see. The Time Chariot may not have worked, but it did something.
"Here we are. Hey! Are you the legendary hero?" The professor leaned over the side and addressed an almost man-shaped endless swirl of chaotic energy. "I suppose not. You must be the lord of horror. Hello! Hero! Are you there? I want to ask you a question! Why seal this entity for a thousand years?"
"You dare predict that fate for me?" Words that chilled as they entered the ear came from the embodiment of wickedness. "Well, sure. It happens, you know. You get sealed."
"Nooooooooo!" The thing wailed as the eldritch forces that composed it slowed, stopped, and dissipated. The darkness ended, and light flooded the world.
"You have performed a brave deed that will be remembered for a thousand thousand years," the envoy of light that descended from heaven told Professor Welben. "By reciting the sacred formula, 'You, get sealed,' you have removed this malevolent influence from the world, for a time. The victory is not final, yet it is a victory."
"Oh. That explains that." The legendary hero fiddled with the controls again. "Thanks for telling me. We have to share information if we want to get anywhere. Bye!" The Time Chariot departed on another curiosity-satisfying adventure.
Finis
The assistants, each of whom might have been welcomed in any number of courts or merchant houses but stayed with the professor to learn even more, backed away so the great man could inspect their work.
"Mhm. Mmmhm. Mm. Yep." Professor Welben nodded, tilted his head, nodded, and tilted it the other way. "Yes, that's it. The Time Chariot is completed. I'm going to go back and ask the legendary hero why he sealed the nightmare king instead of just killing him. So inefficient!"
The assistants gasped when they saw the professor enter the carriage, and gasped again when he started adjusting levers and turning dials. "Sir! It hasn't been tested!"
He blinked at them. "Of course it hasn't. This is the test drive. Be back immediately if not sooner!" The chariot jerked forward, reared back, and dashed straight into nowhere they could see. The Time Chariot may not have worked, but it did something.
"Here we are. Hey! Are you the legendary hero?" The professor leaned over the side and addressed an almost man-shaped endless swirl of chaotic energy. "I suppose not. You must be the lord of horror. Hello! Hero! Are you there? I want to ask you a question! Why seal this entity for a thousand years?"
"You dare predict that fate for me?" Words that chilled as they entered the ear came from the embodiment of wickedness. "Well, sure. It happens, you know. You get sealed."
"Nooooooooo!" The thing wailed as the eldritch forces that composed it slowed, stopped, and dissipated. The darkness ended, and light flooded the world.
"You have performed a brave deed that will be remembered for a thousand thousand years," the envoy of light that descended from heaven told Professor Welben. "By reciting the sacred formula, 'You, get sealed,' you have removed this malevolent influence from the world, for a time. The victory is not final, yet it is a victory."
"Oh. That explains that." The legendary hero fiddled with the controls again. "Thanks for telling me. We have to share information if we want to get anywhere. Bye!" The Time Chariot departed on another curiosity-satisfying adventure.
Finis
February 5, 2022
Ys Is Simple Though
There's a redhead with a sword. Maybe he swings it, maybe he doesn't, but there's adventure either way.
February 4, 2022
Battletech Non-Humorous Observation
When you think of Star Wars, maybe you think of lightsabers or X-Wings opening their S-foils to attack en route to the Death Star. WHen you think of Star Trek, maybe you think of Captain Kirk fighting a lizard or some preachy baldy telling his crew to put something on the monitor. James Bond means casinos and explosions. What's Battletech?
It's a future dark ages according to the old descriptions, but nothing that followed or the rules themselves back that up. It has an 80s cyberpunk flavor judging by some of the old character art, the SNES game, and nothing else. It's all about the clans and some kind of neo-tribal synth drum maching, Mechwarrior 2 tells us before the later games insist that isn't the case.
What is Battletech? No matter what your entry point is, you come into a property that contradicts or ignores your understanding at every turn. That makes it a little tiny bit hard to get into.
It's a future dark ages according to the old descriptions, but nothing that followed or the rules themselves back that up. It has an 80s cyberpunk flavor judging by some of the old character art, the SNES game, and nothing else. It's all about the clans and some kind of neo-tribal synth drum maching, Mechwarrior 2 tells us before the later games insist that isn't the case.
What is Battletech? No matter what your entry point is, you come into a property that contradicts or ignores your understanding at every turn. That makes it a little tiny bit hard to get into.
February 3, 2022
Battletech Observational Humor
They're called Successor States, but they existed before the Star League. What's the deal with that?
February 2, 2022
Parallel Timelines
Raymond E. Feist was only two letters away from being a bank robber instead of a fantasy author. Strange to think about.
February 1, 2022
Imagine Being a Rare Now Exists
Have you ever wanted to read a serialized novel online about a bunch of idiot characters in a gacha game? No? Say yes. Yes? Good. Such a thing is now possible on Royal Road right here, right now. Synopsis:
The world of mobile games is harsh on wallets and harsher on the characters. How do you stand out in an crowd of designs calculated to attract attention from whales? You want power and fame, powercreep alts and event appearances. Some high rarities succeed, others fail. But how do you stand out when your design is plain, your power low, and your rarity, well, Rare? You don't.
In the moderately popular gacha game Commandment of Hero, some Rares have had enough. A new gameplay mode will give them a chance to rise above their rarity, they think. All they need are courage, kindness, and wisdom. They have none of those, but they do have stubbornness, selfishness, and shamelessness, which are at least as effective. If that sounds pathetic, just imagine being a Rare.
Updates Monday and Friday.
The world of mobile games is harsh on wallets and harsher on the characters. How do you stand out in an crowd of designs calculated to attract attention from whales? You want power and fame, powercreep alts and event appearances. Some high rarities succeed, others fail. But how do you stand out when your design is plain, your power low, and your rarity, well, Rare? You don't.
In the moderately popular gacha game Commandment of Hero, some Rares have had enough. A new gameplay mode will give them a chance to rise above their rarity, they think. All they need are courage, kindness, and wisdom. They have none of those, but they do have stubbornness, selfishness, and shamelessness, which are at least as effective. If that sounds pathetic, just imagine being a Rare.
Updates Monday and Friday.
January 31, 2022
Addendum
The origin of the feud was an argument whether to put the tea or the water in first.
