Moe Lane's Blog, page 530
July 5, 2022
How not to tempt fate, school bus edition.
Me, 7:18 AM: Hey, this bus pickup for the kid’s first day of summer social interaction went smooth, for a change!
Me, 9:18 AM [One call from bus company telling me they had broken down and could I please collect my child, incomplete directions as to where the bus was, GPS conking out four times on the way to the bus, getting slightly lost, nearly dying because the other guy suddenly decided to play chicken at the intersection, driving the kid to the location, having to speed-cross every lane of 2 major highways because Maryland is addicted to putting entrance ramps on one side of the goram road and exit ramps on the goram other, finding out the bus company hadn’t told the school program they had broken down, being told Oh, sure, don’t worry about having to come pick up your kid!*, and spilling a medium orange juice over the front of my body later]: WHY MUST YOU SEEK YOUR OWN DESTRUCTION LIKE THIS MOE-FOOL HAVE YOU NO SENSE YOU HAVE NO SENSE
So that was my morning!
* I will do no such thing.
July 4, 2022
‘Sit Down, John!’
#commissionearned
07/04/2022 Snippet, 2084.
New setting!
Patreon!Birmingham Reclamation Zone
Section 47A
Depending on who you asked, Birmingham was — well, the consensus was ‘disaster;’ the question was whether it was a mitigated or unmitigated one. The Invaders had ripped up most of the city during the occupation, trying to redo it in a grid pattern. It had worked out a little better than most Invader developments, probably because this region had more human engineers and designers for the Invaders to capture and put to work.
The market square the two were in reflected the Invader aesthetic, in that it was barely functional and completely unimaginative. Plus: “This market stinks of pigshit.” Alex commented, quietly but not whispering. Whispers carried. “Which is strange, since there isn’t any free-range animal protein within kil — miles of here.”
Jim suspected that Alex was perfectly capable of thinking in Imperial units, but the slip-up fit her current persona. The major was wearing a clean, but faded battle uniform with all rank insignia removed, and a few careful repairs at the sleeves and buttons. Her eye-visor was also military surplus, functional but scuffed; at her belt was a holstered G21 Glock automatic pistol. Clearly an Invader-made knockoff, but a well-made one. All in all, she looked exactly like a former Invader sepoy, now turned bodyguard; and the other people visiting this open-air market gave her plenty of room, even after five years of liberation. It took time to unlearn bad habits.
never set off a firework pikachu in your room
i wasnt gonna put this up but the responses my god the responses i am dying here i am dead
This dude Speed deadass set off a whole ass firework pikachu IN HIS ROOM BRUH
— Classifypic.twitter.com/SANjWhuqjv
(@Class) July 4, 2022
via @hungarianfalcon
Tweet of the Day, Hopefully Not QUITE The Greatest Firework In The World edition.
I’d rather it gets reused as often as possible.
Happy July 4th! pic.twitter.com/KYN2XO712Z
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 4, 2022
DragonCon nominations are open! Nominate one of my books!
What? I see no particular reason to beat around the bush. If you think MORGAN BAROD or TINSEL RAIN is worth a DragonCon nomination, feel free to click this link and vote for one of them under the Fantasy category. If you don’t think they’re worth nominations, then click on the link anyway and nominate the books you’d prefer. This isn’t a zero-sum game; I don’t need to drag anyone else down in order for me to rise higher.
#commissionearned
Today is the Glorious Fourth.
The official birthday of the United States of America, which is of course the greatest nation in the history of the world, and a beacon of hope for humanity.
It is always tempting to treat life’s current problems as being unique. Surely things have never been this bad. Or surely so many people have never had things this bad. Or there has never been such a combination of different, bad things, all happening at once. There is a certain grim enjoyment to be found, in such thoughts. It feeds the streak of masochism that dwells in the human heart. And perhaps the parallel streak of self-regard. Look at me! Things are horrible, but I’m still here! I’m tough! I don’t judge such a reaction, provided that people don’t take it too far.
With that in mind, allow me to rip off the bandage: this is not the worst year America’s ever had. It is, frankly, not even in the top fifty. What we think of as ‘awfulness,’ 99% of recorded history would score as ‘how do we sneak in?’ If this be misery, and if it does love company… well, company would love it right back.
So go have some food. Drink a tasty beverage. Shoot off some fireworks; for it is the Glorious Fourth.
Moe Lane
PS: Usually these pieces come with some kind of sop to those who can’t bear to see something praised, unless there’s some pro forma condemnation of its flaws. I have ruthlessly suppressed the impulse. Instead, here’s a link to my catalog. If you’re so determined to be miserable today, you might as well try to fight it by reading one of my books.
#commissionearned
July 3, 2022
Other Tweet of the Day, Alcohol May Have Been Involved edition.
I like how the guy doesn’t get what the big deal is. He handled it, right?
I can’t stop watching this drunk guy almost burn the entire wedding down. Just watch: pic.twitter.com/9QJzOyyelj
— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) July 3, 2022
Via @HungarianFalcon
07/03/2022 Snippet, 2084.
Exposition!
Patreon!“True,” the major allowed after a moment. “But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.” She reached into her briefcase: Jim tensed, even though he didn’t expect it to be anything but the manila folder she retrieved. She pushed it over. “We have a villain who needs retrieval.” Jim looked down at the folder. His eyebrow raised as his insets informed him that the folder didn’t have any digital presence at all.
He looked up at the major. “Wait, is this a renegado?”
“Impressive,” she said, and sounded like she meant it. “Without even opening the folder, too.”
Jim shrugged. “You said ‘villain,’ and you came to find me. That means either a collaborator with the Invaders, or a rogue engineer. All the top political collaborators were hanged years ago; whoever’s left isn’t worth bringing in alive. Not even for the propaganda value. That leaves the renegados.”
