Ross Lawhead's Blog, page 7

PAW 10 – A Plague of Demons (2698) by Keith Laumer

A Plague of Demons by Keith Laumer; Penguin Paperback (2698); 1965 edition

Full disclosure: I bought A Plague of Demons by Keith Laumer purely for the cover. I haven’t heard of the book before, or its author, but I’m an admirer of the legendary Alan Aldridge who designed the cover for this book and the rest in the series, and on the back of these he was made Art Director at Penguin, in 1965. I decided to read it this week because it’s been a while since I’ve dipped in to some vintage SF.

There is an Edgar Allan Poe story called The Man Who Was Used Up, in which an army officer has had so much of himself replaced – arms, legs, nose, various organs – that he is far less organic material than manufactured material. This is probably the earliest instance of the transhuman in literature, although he does also pop up in other places, such as Darth Vader in Star Wars, or the titular Robocop. But rarely is the process shown so descriptively or comprehensively, happening by degrees as it does in A Plague of Demons by Keith Laumer. But although Bravis loses his body, we are not shown that he loses his humanity – at least, he does not suffer from it.

I was impressed by A Plague of Demons, and it is a shame that it is not more remembered, but the fact is that it isn’t that well written. The prose is workman, a little stodgy, and now a little dated. It takes too long to get to the really imaginative part of the book, and that section ends too quickly. Also, the villains are generally without purpose and there is a contradiction in the fact that they harvest from earth, but have not subjugated it in one thousand years. I ended up enjoying it very much, however, and I’m very glad I got to meet Aethelbert, the tank that speaks Anglo-Saxon.

What is A Penguin a Week? Visit the original site.

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How I Stopped 02070604512

Over the last month I’ve received over twleve calls from 02070604512 — who are call marketers, purportedly from EE and T-Mobile (who I am signed with for my phone) trying to get me to switch to them for land-line and broadband services as well. At first these calls were once a week, but at the end they were ringing me several times a day. At first I listened politely and explained I didn’t want to switch, but they kept calling. Then I tried ignoring them but they WOULD NOT STOP CALLING. Then I realised that I was being presented with a creative opportunity here and so I decided to have a little fun. The next time 02070604512 called, I gave this a try:

*Phone rings*

Call Marketer: Goo–

Me: Good evening, you’re through to Ross Lawhead. Just to make you aware, this call is being recorded for training and monitoring purposes. Can I take your name please?

Call Marketer: I…

*Line goes dead.*

I’ve worked in a call center before, and I know that these guys are just trying to make the best of what is one of the worst jobs in the world. So the trick with these is not to abuse or make fun of them, but just to throw them off kilter a little. The next day I got two more calls from 02070604512, the first while I was at work, the second just before dinner:

Call Marketer: Hello, I’m calling from EE and T-Mobile for Ross Lawhead, is he available?

Me: That’s me. Would you mind telling me your name?

Call Marketer: My name is Christine.

Me: Hi, Christine. I’m glad you called because I’m very excited to be able to offer you cheaper broadband today. Would you be interested in that?

Christine: …Maybe…?

Me: Can I ask how much you currently pay for your broadband?

Christine: Nothing. It’s free.

Me: Free? Can I have free wifi too?

Christine: Yes… if you come down South Africa.

Me: South Africa? My phone said you were calling from London. So how come your wifi is free?

Christine: I stay with my sister.

Me: So if I come down to South Africa and stay with you and your sister, you’re saying I can use your wifi?

Christine: Sure. Maybe.

Me: But why don’t you let me give you cheap broadband so that you don’t have to borrow from your sister? I have a very exciting deal I can offer you.

Christine: …. [long silence]….

Me: I know you’re still there. I know that you’ve only muted your microphone. Christine…

Christine: Quite honestly I don’t use wifi very much because I work a lot.

Me: Ah. I understand, I work a lot too. I’ll tell you what, I’ll stop trying to offer you cheap broadband over the phone, okay?

Christine: …okay.

Me: Okay, thanks Christine.

Christine: …goodbye.

Me: ‘Bye, Christine.

I wasn’t prepared for how well this stratagem worked. It’s now been six days and I haven’t received any more calls from 02070604512. Which is a shame, because I had a lot more ideas to share with them. For instance, the next time they call, I think they’ll be surprised at how little I’m suddenly paying for broadband — just pence, really! I want to see if I can get them to beat it…

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PAW 9 – 1066 And All That (1424) by W C Sellar and R J Yeatman

1066 And All That by W C Sellar and R J Yeatman; Penguin Paperback (1424); 1960 edition; cover by John Reynolds

1066 And All That is another true comedy classic. The title itself has entered into the public consciousness although the authors are fairly obscure. In the tradition of Three Men in a Boat and Diary of a Nobody, it was written by fairly amateur humourists, and like that last book, portions of this book were published in the canceled and still lamented Punch magazine.

Most of the references in the book that the humour depends on will be obscure to anyone who doesn’t have much knowledge of British history, although it also pays off for people who have forgotten more than they remembered. In fact, this is exactly the stance that the writers have taken, and it is billed as “All the history you can remember” on the back cover. It makes historical and literary references to “The Venomous Bead (the writer of the Rosary)”, the “Boer Woer”, and “Henry the IV: A Split King” (who abdicated his throne for Henry IV Part II)”, as well as making schoolboy evaluations as to whether a king was a Good King or a Bad King, and when Britain was and was not “Top Nation”. At the end of each chapter there are Test Papers with such questions as “4a. What makes you think that Henry the VIII had VIII wives? Was it worth it?” and “12. What Price Glory?”

It’s a book to dip in and out of, rather than read right the way through in one sitting since I don’t think I have ever come across a book that had as many jokes per page as this one, and you can return to it again and again. I keep it on the shelf with my history books and turn to it when I need a pick-me-up.

What is A Penguin a Week? Visit the original site.

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PAW 8 – Robinson (2157) by Muriel Spark

Robinson by Muriel Spark; Penguin Paperback 2157; 1964 edition

Muriel Spark constantly surprises me. Few authors could be less comfortable in a genre mold, I think. In fact, I would say that Spark is openly, consciously, defying genre classification in this book, going so far as to say that I believe it’s the reason she wrote it. It’s a glorious mixture of thwarted story forms. It’s a survival story where no one is in danger of dying. It’s a mystery where, it turns out, there is nothing to solve. It’s a romance where no one falls in love. It’s a revenge tale in which a wrong isn’t righted. It’s a religious allegory with no moral.

But Robinson is all the more compelling for that. Even though the story starts with a situation that very few of us can relate to – being stranded on a nearly deserted island – this small but dense weave of unrealised plot payoffs makes the story feel that much more realistic. You get the sense that this is a truer tale than most because most of the time our lives are like a collection of themes with little or no resolution. And Spark is one of those great Catholic authors – like Chesterton, Greene, or Waugh – who can out-doubt the staunchest agnostic, showing that doubt and faith are not exclusive states. And as is undoubtedly the nature of such a story, it is unclear at the end exactly what the whole tale is about, but somehow you know you have been enlarged and fulfilled by it, at least for the time you were reading it.

I don’t want to give too much away about this book. It’s definitely worth tracking down and reading through, as all of Spark’s books, I have found, are. I’m glad that there are many more on the Penguin Classics list, I am excitedly looking forward to reviewing more of them.

What is A Penguin a Week? Visit the original site.

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PAW 7 – The Midwich Cuckoos (1440) by John Wyndham

The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham; Penguin Paperback (1440); 1963 edition; cover by Paul Hogarth

The Midwich Cuckoos is an interesting novel which has become something of a genre-crossover, or even a genre migrant, or possibly even a straight-up mash up.

I think that John Wyndham intended to write a Science-Fiction book, although it’s always dangerous to assume what type of book a writer was trying to write. Often they just don’t know. But whereas Wyndham’s other books have generally fallen into the realms of SF (such as The Day of the Triffids), The Midwich Cuckoos has drifted into horror. Although The Midwich Cuckoos is no less horrific or thrilling than his other books, this is certainly due to the two movies that were adapted from this book, both of them titled The Village of the Damned, one by Wolf Rilla in 1960 and one by John Carpenter in 1995.

And, as SF, the book has very few hard elements, so I think it is best understood in the horror genre, where the fear that is being expressed here is what happens when your children aren’t your own — when your authority as a parent is ignored, and the enforcement of society is ineffectual. A very real and conscious anxiety in 1957, which is when the book was written. Those two suppositions are given literal interpretation in this book: first the women in a village are all instantaneously impregnated by a mysterious phenomenon and they give birth to about sixty children all with silver hair and yellow eyes. It is implied that these are alien-human hybrid beings, all of whom can communicate with each other telepathically, and who start having their own aims, beliefs, and ideas that they will not share with anyone else.

As shocking a concept as this is, the resolution of the book is even more shocking, in my opinion. It’s certainly not how I would have ended a story with the same premise. I leave it to you to decide if it satisfies or not.

What is A Penguin a Week? Visit the original site.

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PAW 6 – The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1154) by B. Traven

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre by B. Traven; Penguin Paperback (1154); 1956 edition; cover by John Minton

If The Treasure of the Sierra Madre hasn’t enriched your life then either you’re reading it wrong, or you’re living your life wrong.

The author, B. Traven, is one of the literary world’s genuine enigmas, a mystery far more impenetrable than even Shakespeare’s authorship (Answer: Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare). Although there are many theories, no one knew who B. Traven was, and even the way that his literary agent dealt with his publisher and, later, Hollywood seem like something from a spy novel. He is undoubtedly the core inspiration for the fictional novelist V. M. Straka in J. J. Abrams and Doug Dourst’s novel S.

The book itself is a wonderful and realistic morality play. It is written well with no pretension at all, completely accessible and straightforward. It is transportive and such a perfect sense of Mexico in the 1930s is portrayed that you never doubt for a second the writer’s authority. The characters are likewise realised and rendered, with Dobbs being at once the most complex and relatable. It is rare to see a character describe so full and complete an arc as Dobbs does in this book. Every step he takes, every reaction he displays, are so rational when read that B. Traven’s mastery not just of prose but morality and realism are slowly shown throughout the course of the story. And at its conclusion we are shown the darkness in our own souls as we read this story and are left bewildered afterwards in wondering how we would have avoided that same fate if put in that same position.

I came to the book initially through the 1948 movie starring Humphrey Bogart, which was directed by John Houston for which he won two Oscars, along with his father Walter who won Best Supporting Actor. (It lost out to Best Picture to Laurence Olivier’s Hamlet.) Both are worth buying and watching/reading again, and again, and again.

What is A Penguin a Week? Visit the original site.

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PAW 5 – The Napoleon of Notting Hill (550) by G. K. Chesterton

The Napoleon of Notting Hill by G. K. Chesterton; Penguin Paperback 550; 1946 edition

People now consider The Napoleon of Notting Hill to be a Speculative Fiction book, and it can certainly be read as such. Chesterton would definitely have thought of it as “a fantasy”. It was the first novel that Chesterton wrote to be published and he describes the moment he took the idea to his publisher as necessitating a few stiff drinks at The Cheshire Cheese near Fleet Street in London before marched over to his publisher, John Lane’s office, threw open the door and said “this is the book I want to write and this is how I’m going to write it”. The publisher liked the idea and signed him to a contract on the spot. Then Chesterton had to go away and write the thing.

Coincidentally, the story takes place “eighty years after the present date”, making it 1984. Orwell, it can be safely assumed, did not enjoy Chesterton very much and took ocassional swipes at him in his own fiction, even though Orwell did get his start writing for G. K.’s Weekly. It deals first with a very charismatic politician named Auberon Quin who thinks it would be a lot of fun to become the king of Notting Hill and cede from the nation. He manages to do this but then a second man, Adam Wayne, takes the matter much more seriously. When a highway is scheduled to be built through the suburb, he marshals a military force to prevent it. In the ensuing battle Notting Hill apparently lies in ruins and two figures speak to each other from the mist, discussing love, laughter, and seriousness — these are revealed to be the two main characters who are finally reconciled. This is he core conflict of the book, seriousness and humour, summed up in a conversation between the two protagonists halfway through the book:

Auberon turned on Wayne with violence.

“What the devil is all this? What am I saying? What are you saying? Have you hypnotized me? Curse your uncanny blue eyes! Let me go. Give me back my sense of humour. Give it me back. Give it me back, I say!”

“I solemnly assure you,” said Wayne, uneasily, with a gesture, as if feeling all over himself, “that I haven’t got it.”

The King fell back in his chair, and went into a roar of Rabelaisian laughter.

“I don’t think you have,” he cried.

It’s an odd little book, an odd little pebble that has nonetheless created significant ripples. C S Lewis must have been fond of it since he borrowed its ending for Book 2 of his Space Trilogy, Perelandra, which ends in two abstract figures having a conversation. He also took the title for a Narnia book from one of this book’s chapter title: The Last Battle. Neil Gaiman also has said that he got the idea for his first novel Neverwhere, in which a hidden London is described, from this book and even quotes this one at the beginning of his.

What is A Penguin a Week? Visit the original site.

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PAW 4 – Three Men in a Boat (1213) by Jerome K Jerome

Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome; Penguin Paperback (1213); 1957 edition; cover by Dorrit Dekk

Three Men in a Boat is easily one of the funniest books I have ever read, and I’ve reread it numerous times. It’s a very unassuming concept written by a writer who is known for very little else. Essentially, three friends decide to take a boat trip from London to Oxford and takes place (and was written) towards the end of the Victorian era.

I was very surprised to learn that it was written in 1889, because the jokes and writing style seem fairly modern (or Edwardian, at least — P. G. Wodehouse is an obvious and immediate comparison to draw). I was even more surprised to find that the book was originally intended to be a serious travelogue, with a few humourous elements thrown in for readability. Obviously the humour of the writer could not be contained. It starts in immediately at just the packing stage of the journey which is wonderfully observed if anyone has ever packed with a group before. “J” makes the comment which has become Jerome’s most famous quip: “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” 

The action is episodic and you don’t have to be familiar with the Thames or the places the three men (and their dog) visit in order to understand the book, but obviously there is an extra payoff if you do. Every reader will have his favourite passage. Most popular is perhaps the Hampton Court Palace maze scene, while mine will always probably be the only alluded to, but nonetheless harrowing, incident with the swans. That or Montmorency and the cat.

Three Men in a Boat is one of those books that just fly by. It never takes more than a few days to finish it and you’re always left wondering where the time went, and why more books can’t be like it. Its genius is effortless, and its charm is eternal.

What is A Penguin a Week? Visit the original site.

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PAW 3 – The Unbearable Bassington (545) by Saki

The Unbearable Bassington by “Saki” (H. H. Munro); Penguin Paperback (545); 1947 edition

I think I was expecting the wrong things from The Unbearable Bassington. I was familiar with ‘Saki’, which is the pen name for H. H. Muro, as a writer of clever short stories — a kind of dark British counterpart of O. Henry. And so I was quite excited to come across one of his novels in the Penguin editions, although it eventually turned out to be something of a disappointment.

The story starts out well. The titular Bassington is Comus Bassington, a young upper middleclass gentleman who has presumably fallen on hard times. His aunt Francessca is desperate to preserve the Bassington line and restore their fortune by finding a woman of good social standing and wealth for her nephew so that they can both live their lives in the manner that they are accustomed. However, Bassington himself unknowingly thwarts his aunt’s every attempt almost instantly, and also cannot prevent himself from making every misstep possible in dealing with his eligible paramours.

It’s a good set up and the first chapters play out delightfully, little episodes that are almost vignettes of Edwardian irony and hypocrisy. And if the book continued on in this vein, it would have been a joy from start to finish. However, as clever as Saki’s prose is, his main characters never display any likable traits, or even charm. Really, we should be rooting for Bassington and groaning at his missteps and follies, if not as a dupe then as something of an antihero. But he isn’t unbearable so much as just unpleasant. But really, we never really care that he wins — quite the opposite in fact: he quite plainly does not deserve the life that he is pursuing. And in the last half of the novel the situations even stop being clever. The plot itself degenerates and the final tone of the novel is one of snide nihilism.

It may be a clever read, but it’s not an enjoyable one.

What is A Penguin a Week? Visit the original site.

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Je Suis Charlie

Right now, just days after the event, “Je Suis Charlie” has become a rallying cry for ordinary people to show solidarity against terrorism — and that’s important, we need these banners to raise and gather around. But it’s important to remember what that phrase actually means, and how it started, which was a message from cartoonists to cartoonists.

I was only a professional cartoonist for a few months, until I found that people enjoyed my fiction more than my illustration, but I still identify enough with those in the industry to understand a different levels of meaning to “Je Suis Charlie” written in that context.

Understand: no one enters the comic or cartooning industry to make money. Almost nobody can make a living wage in it any more, and those that are often have to support themselves by doing other work. Likewise, no one is in it for fame, for women, or the extravagant lifestyle it attracts. Those who are cartoonists are cartoonists because they have so strong a passion for it that it overrides rationality and makes you stay up into the early hours of the morning on nights that you’re already tired and you have to work the next day. Being a cartoonist is more than something that you are, it’s something that you can’t stop being, far more than a pose you strike, or a prank you play.

And that’s what the terrorists tried to destroy last week — people who were expressing their creative voice for few other reasons than that they spoke in pictures. It was those people and the people who stood with them, the editors and publishers who helped them be heard, that these intolerant sociopaths silenced. And even though I didn’t know their names before five days ago, and even if I disagree with what they may have said, I too want to stand up and be counted with them, who used a pen and a printing press rather than a gun and a getaway car.

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