Jyvur Entropy's Blog, page 28

NSFW Character Art for my Romance Novel (and a lot of other positives in my life)

By CocaineJia of deviantart.

I really like how it came out. And it arrived on the perfect day too. I’ve been working all day on an erotica entry for an anthology I was invited to be a part of.

Working on this anthology has been really fun and I’m glad for the chance to work with other writers and learn more about publishing and marketing.

While we’re talking about positives, I’ll take the opportunity to say, yes, I’m okay. I posted a lot of weird stuff on youtube and in other places online over the past couple of days. I’m okay though. I’m just having a mental health moment.

I’m gonna work on focusing on positive stuff.

So here goes. Here are all the positives I can come up with in my life:

A lot of people really like me. I don’t know why. But a lot of people look up to me and come to me with writing questions and tell me how much they love my books and tell me they like that I speak my mind.

I have a husband who continues to love my dumb ass no matter what stupid, reckless, selfish shit I do. He’s really great. Maybe sending him my way is the universe’s way of making up for all the awful shit that happened when I was younger. I still don’t really deserve him though.

My book ‘Combustion’ has been read thousands of times. So many people have read it, I can not even conceive of how many people. It has accumulated nearly 100,000 reads. That is at least 10,000 individual readers and probably more. I never thought even ten people would read one of my books.

I have a Master’s Degree in English Literature. I have a lot of retail management experience. Maybe I’m unemployed and directionless right now, but I have options.

I have a really cute cat who is obsessed with me and loves to cuddle.

I started talking more about my mental health issues and the entire writing community didn’t lose respect for me like I thought they would. I didn’t lose any friends or followers and nobody yelled at me about how crazy I am. Well….except for one person who called me crazy after talking to me through a sock puppet, which really fucking sucked because he was the one that inspired me to open up about my experiences with the mental health field to begin with, and I never did before that because it does hurt so much for people to act like something is wrong with you…..what a dickhead. And if I “wasn’t a big part of his life” then why was I important enough to fuck with like that? I’m still processing it, because it hurt to be gaslit and treated like nothing by someone I really admired and thought the world of. But he’s one person. He doesn’t like me and he never did, I guess. But a lot of other people still like and respect me despite my flaws. So instead of focusing on that, on one person who went out of their way to make me feel small, I will focus on all the people who still really like me, even though I don’t always act right or have the appropriate emotional response. Other people can see my good attributes, despite my flaws. And for a lot of people, I might not be their cup of tea, but they wouldn’t go out of their way to mess with me. A lot of people in the world are decent, and that’s what I need to remember.

I’ve written several novels. Some are available online and some aren’t. A lot of people can’t even work up the nerve to write a book, nevermind go through rounds and rounds of revisions and beta reads and polish a manuscript for years until it’s done. I can do that. I have an ability not everybody has.

I’m energetic and goofy and productive and entertaining (or these are the ways people who like me usually describe me, and since I am being positive, I shall choose to believe them).

One thing about my childhood that I really liked was how much time I got to spend doing Irish Step dancing and singing and performing at different events. I was always enrolled in a lot of stuff and just always liked being on stage and being the center of attention (I’m sure everyone is shocked by that).

I’m at a point in my life where I have effective boundaries with my family. I have very minimal contact and have a good sense for when to end the conversation. I wasn’t always like that. My mom would be nice to me for two seconds and I’d be falling all over myself to try and make her love me, which would, of course, backfire when she used my incredible need for approval and love from her to hurt me. So, I don’t do that anymore. I completely shut down emotionally when I am around her. I say nothing about myself. When she starts to affect me at all, like if I start to feel happy that she praised me in some way, then I know it’s time to ghost and not talk to her for another year or two.

The library is really close to my house. I can see it from my window. And my city has a really gorgeous, fantastic library. It might not be open right now, but I’ll be able to got there again some day.

And most importantly….

Who cares if life is meaningless? That means that death is too. This is gonna be what I keep reminding myself of as I push through this period of suicidal ideation. If there’s no point in life, then what’s the point in death? (I know the logic is weird, but it’s working for me right now).

I’ll probably have a few more rough days, but I’m focusing on the positive today and that is what I will keep trying to do. It’s not all bad. I know I can do this.

Thanks to everybody who was worried. I’m okay.

…

I thought this was a really interesting and insightful Tumblr post.

But I think sometimes adults do the same thing. I think parasocial relationships are something that people do when they want to explore an emotion but don’t have a way to explore it in real life, for whatever reason.

Of course, it would be easier for everybody involved if people stuck to parasocial relationships with people who could never feasibly notice: celebrities, fictional characters, etc.

I think the internet makes parasocial relationships more dangerous and disruptive, because it’s much more likely the person whom all the emotions are projected onto will notice. It’s also more easy for the person doing the projecting to imagine that they’re so insignificant the other person will never notice their attention.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of a parasocial relationship, my advice is to completely and absolutely ignore the person projecting all of those intimate emotions onto you. They likely don’t realize you can see what’s up, and likely don’t actually want anything from you. Yet the more attention you pay to them, the more their behavior will escalate.

Because for those initiating parasocial relationships, they often don’t realize that distance is what they actually want, and they’d be better off admiring a fictional character or dead historical figure or celebrity or anyone else who can’t actually notice someone is projecting intimacy onto them.

And if you ignore them long enough, they will probably get past it and move on.

Want to Win Some Book Swag?

This waifu pillow came out so freaking cute For real, if you’re gonna make book merch, you’ve gotta go with Printify.

It came out so cute! All I want to do is give one away

So, since newsletter signups are hard to come by (and I need a good reason to sign up for one myself) I’ve decided to run a giveaway only for my newsletter subscribers.

The giveaway will be running March 1st-March 31st. I’m only distributing the rafflecopter link via the newsletter, so be sure to sign up if you want to enter (or if you want to give this indie author a thrill I just barely cracked double-digit newsletter subscribers and that milestone about made my life).

Okay! Newsletter sign up, here!

See ya, sucker!

WWW Weds: The Most Beautiful Gothic Romance I’ve Ever Read! (and a lot of other indie books)

It’s Weds again!

Time to answer three questions:

What are you currently reading?

What did you recently finish reading?

What do you think you will read next?

This weekly meme is hosted by Sam at Taking on a World of Words.

Okay! Let’s get into it!

What Am I Currently Reading?

I’m still reading this arc I received from Totally Bound Publishing. I’m not crazy about it. It’s a Beauty and the Beast retelling. It grabbed my attention mainly because of the setting. There is a castle. This basic bitch will read anything with a castle in it.

This book just isn’t working for me though. It is a romance between a boss and employee, and I’m not completely against this trope, however, it has to be done in a particular way. There is an inherent power differential between a boss and employee. So I’d like to see the boss be somewhat conflicted about his attraction.

Nah. Guy is ready to stick it in from day one. Him and his pervy brother are creeping out over the new nanny and it’s giving me really icky Weinstein vibes.

I’m not about it.

I’m also reading this very cute cozy mystery on wattpad. It’s about a snotty upper class woman in the wake of the Great War. She has to solve a mystery of diamonds gone missing during a party. This is a very voicey story with tons of humor. I recommend checking it out, along with all of Di Rossi’s works.

I’m also reading this ONC entry by Joseph Huff. Joseph is a very cool human being and gives great writing advice. He chose to go with the legendary figure prompt of the Open Novella Contest. His story is very cool so far. A military guy inexplicably time travels back to an alternate version of the Middle Ages, where he meets the Arthurian legend Morgan Le Fay. He only has 4 chapters posted so far, but I’m already hooked and can’t wait to see where this story goes.

I’ve also started to become more active on Inkitt! I don’t have too many Inkitt friends yet, so please follow for a follow back if you’re also on Inkitt

I’m reading this very fun and quirky contemporary romance on Inkitt.

The protagonist is a sexually-frustrated 38-year-old who is trying like hell to get it in.

That’s a whole mood.

And I love to see a romance protagonist on the older side

‘The Fundamentals of Unicult’ is the most boring ass shit I’ve ever read. Unicult is just self-help nonsense with better marketing. But I really want to review the book and do a deep dive youtube video about this idiocy, so I’m pushing myself through it. I gave up trying to gain access to their discord server. I don’t know how many times they want me to fill out a google form. Eh, maybe they knew I was just looking for tea. I don’t think it’s any lost cause though. If their discord is anything like their book, it would probably be some boring Tony Robbins ripoff shit.

Then I’m still making my way through this historical. I’m saving my thoughts for now. I’ll post an in-depth review when I’m done.

And I just have a few chapters left of ‘The Great Hunt.’ I switched from paperback to audiobook and now I’m actually making some Wheel of Time progress!

What Did You Recently Finish Reading?

I read ‘Music of the Night’ for a Silver Dagger blog tour, and WOW! Angela J. Ford is my new favorite romance author

Also, the author shouted out my review on facebook and it kind of made my life.

I loved this book so sooo much. I saw that Angela was giving away book swag when you order a signed copy, so you know I went and ordered one. It was hard to choose between the hardcover and paperback, because both are gorgeous. But I ended up going with the paperback, because I wanted that beautiful picture of Uriah and Aria.

Gah! I loved this book! Go support this amazing author. I’m about to go on a book buying spree and binge her entire oeuvre.

I also finished an amazing horror story on Inkitt.

This horror story was absolutely BRILLIANT. My goodness, Alex Beyman blew me away. A group of strangers wakes up in an abandoned supermarket and all of the doors are sealed with cement. This group of strangers ends up working together to survive and try to break out of the supermarket.

The supermarket becomes a microcosm of human civilization. And I LOVED the social commentary. There was subtle criticism of feminism, with records showing past supermarket prisoners aborted their babies to slow population growth, all while men gave up trying to compete for women and turned to masturbation and hobbies (gah! The commentary on the modern world blew me away).

Really, this is a story you just have to read. It is so SO GOOD.

And one of the writer’s other books has a brain in a vat on the cover, so I know it’s gonna be right up my alley. Gimme that metaphysical dread!

Here is the full review I posted on Inkitt.

What Do You Think You Will Read Next?

I’m on Emily Hurricane’s arc team for her 5 novella series. The first book launches on March 5th. I’ve already read that book and will be posting my reviews as we get closer to the book launch. I now need to move on to book two. I already feel so left out! Everybody else on Emily’s arc team going on about plot threads and characters I don’t know anything about yet!

And I still need to read books two and three in Emily’s Shotgun series.

That’s it for me!

See ya, sucker!

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

An Excerpt from my Horror Novel ‘Combustion’

Strange images filled her mind. Rachel was not producing them. They were simply appearing there, placed there by something else. Delivered from outer space.

 Faces. Flames. A centipede ripping apart. She saw it writhing, as it spontaneously split down its center. It was filled with eggs. Millions of centipede eggs. And then Rachel felt sure that she was filled with centipede eggs, and her belly burned and a crazed itching feeling danced over her, and with that, Rachel was finally able to rip her eyelids apart. 

 The sight of the darkened room met her. And in that darkness, a creature. 

 Somehow her eye was able to widen, as she realized the sight before her, but she could not close it. She also could not move. She could not scream. She willed her mouth to open and couldn’t. Her vocal cords did respond weakly, and with a mouth shut tight, she heard the broken squeaks creaking from her throat.

 Her body frozen in place, imprisoned in a cage of her own muscles and bone, she stared up at him helplessly. The man on fire at the foot of her bed. 

  She had to scream and wake her sleeping friend. She had to cry out for her grandmother to come. But no matter how she thrashed about internally, her body remained paralyzed.  All she could do was look up at the man engulfed in flames. 

 His mouth opened. A slit appeared in the smoke and crisping redness of burning flesh. And his mouth froze in a wide circle of suffering.

 Fear rippled through her body. Rachel fought to move and felt the same resistance that she felt whenever she tried to run in a nightmare where she was being chased. She felt the same tugging on her body, the same alteration of physics.

 It opened its mouth then, as if it were going to speak.

 Rachel’s brain felt on fire. Terror seized her, and it was so strong she was unsure how her body could contain it. It felt too large, too strong to be held within her. She knew that the man on fire was going to speak and she had no idea what she’d do when he did. 

 But it was then that the episode ended, and finally, miraculously, her fingers twitched and her body jerked upright. The moment her body moved, the man vanished, taking all of his flames and fright with him. 

 She was left staring at the shadowy scene of an empty room.

 Rachel ripped the covers over her head and lay on her side with a thumping heart, pressing her body frantically into the body of her sleeping friend.

 She tried to tell herself that it had only been a dream. She repeated it in her mind again and again. 

 It wasn’t real. I’m not going to spontaneously combust. I am NOT going to spontaneously combust. 

 But she couldn’t believe it. Because the man on fire had opened his mouth to speak, and she could sense the words he’d been about to say. He’d been about to tell her that her time was limited, that if she didn’t figure out how she spontaneously combusted the first time, it was sure to happen again. 

 She moaned into her pillow, imagining what his awful voice would sound like. You burned once. You’ll burn again.

I’m relaunching Combustion. There will be bonus chapters not in the original edition.

How Do You Choose a POV?

https://jyvurentropyblog.tumblr.com/post/643288765423616000/how-to-choose-a-pov

Do you have a question for me? You can submit your question by visiting my Tumbr page and clicking ‘Ask Me Anything.’

And to see all the ways to connect with me and follow my content, check out my linktree

Okay, see ya!

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

How Much Dialogue is Too Much?

https://jyvurentropyblog.tumblr.com/post/643235216876617728/how-much-dialogue-is-too-much

To submit your own question, visit my brand new Tumblr blog and click ‘Ask Me Anything.’ You can even ask anonymously.

And as always, you can find all the ways to connect with me and follow my content through my linktree

Okay! Bye!

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

Interview with a Gentle Domme

Photo by Kamaji Ogino on Pexels.com

BDSM! Yes, today we get to talk about BDSM. Specifically, we get to talk about my favorite flavor of bdsm: gentle femdom. This is BDSM with the female as the domme, but minus the pain play/humiliation/cruelty of the femdom style we often see portrayed in mainstream media. It’s a more nurturing, tender form of domination. If you’re curious about it, I recommend checking out r/gentlefemdom or r/extragentlefemdom.

I had the opportunity to speak with Shadow, a gentle domme who works with one of my favorite BDSM erotic romance authors, Pixie Stormcrow, on the kink advice column ‘Dear Lani.’

Dear Lani

Shadow kindly agreed to answer some questions, so that I could share her wisdom with my readers! Without further ado, my interview with Shadow!

Photo by Marta Dzedyshko on Pexels.com

Hello Shadow! Thank you so much for agreeing to be interviewed by me! I’m excited to have you on my blog. Can we start with you introducing yourself to my readers and telling us a little about what you do?

Well, I am 37 yrs old, and have been a gentle femdom for just under 25 years. I am happily married to my hubs for 3 yrs now. Just like Lani, I was hesitant about the marriage part.  I have been professionally trained back in the early 2000s in Ontario when I was attending college. What I do now is Shipping Logistics because of my skills with people and scheduling.

When you say you were professionally trained do you mean as a domme?

As professionally as possible 20+ years ago. They didn’t have schools or degrees back then. I’ve studied under 3 different types of Dommes. 1 was a very strict male and taught me most of the Pain Dominant style. 1 male who taught me position training (which I adored). And a female who taught me textured play styles and how to guide and gauge a sub. The gentle femdom was just how my style ended up as I tried and experimented growing up sexually.

So, I always knew I was into BDSM, but was incredibly averse to meeting people on fetlife or joining any BDSM community. It just didn’t feel romantic to meet a guy that way and too many men already don’t know how to act in online dating situations. I was worried about men being creepy or sending inappropriate messages if I tried to meet a guy in a community centered around kink.

I’m someone who takes a long time getting to know someone before I’m comfortable talking dirty and all that, and too many dudes come right out of the gate with crass sexy talk in message one anyway. I couldn’t see myself interacting in a kink community and being comfortable. But the downside to waiting until you’re dating someone to unleash all the freakiness is like….well, in my experiences anyway, the other person usually isn’t on-board with the freakiness. 

I guess, what would you say to people who might have similar concerns as me? Are any of those concerns valid? And if so, is there a way to successfully navigate the kink community in a way that feels comfortable? 

Your concerns are highly valid. Those concerns happen for both men and women when they are first starting on their BDSM journey. Please make sure that for whatever online site you use for the community that you see how secure they are. Be very careful about what info you provide as well in case of being hacked.

There are ways to navigate through each site. Always start with the intros. Those tell you who are in control of the sites and events. Research the person who you are interested in. See what their past posts are like. For those bothering you, or can’t take a no, there is always a way to either report them or block them from bothering you.  You are not required to answer everyone. Don’t do that to yourself or else you may become overwhelmed.

When starting, I always encourage someone to make a wishlist of knowledge or experiences. This allows you to start with something small, safe, and easy to control. Both of you will eventually have to take the risk when it comes to the scene part, but always be honest up front that you want to go slowly. If they can’t respect that, that’s the first hint to leave as they are not suited to you.

As for the romance part, if you are the Dom, you get to control a part of that. I usually ended up finding my subs “out in the wilds of RL”. Like one dolly I had was from a call center we both worked at. My hubs I met at an internet cafe. Not super romantic but it was the dates themselves that were.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions about the BDSM community?

Gods above, where do I start?!

How about a female Dom is a ball busting crazy chick who you will be black and blue from and destroys your phone by pitching it against a wall? 

Or how about how this type of lifestyle is a terrible choice and against so many different ideals?

Or the male Dom who just wants to abuse a sub and gets off on their misery?

Most Doms I know want to have control because it’s what makes us feel safe, required, and useful. It’s heady stuff to have that kind of power. For the subs, it’s more about being able to relax and have a direct focus point in their lives that they can depend on and they feel needed. Being able to serve your Dom and see their joy makes a sub’s whole day bright. For the Dom, helping the sub grow and serve is a pleasant feeling too. Very Proud kind of style.

This type of life is nothing to be ashamed of! Personally I find those interested in this type of life have more fun, happiness, healthier life than most couples I’ve seen. The communication and opening up to that one special person is the hardest part of our style of sex lives. To admit to ourselves that the unique styles or events are what turn us on. That is the hardest part to overcome. We are conditioned when young to conform to the norms of society and to hide our more sexual nature. I say be true to you first. No one else will make you happy if you yourself cannot be happy in the current moment. People who love you will try to help, please don’t push them away. Acknowledging is a great start. Not saying you have to take the help right away. Just the communications required between people is the biggest and hardest thing to get over.

I’d love for a second to talk about some of the shame that can come with kinks. Like for a long time, I wouldn’t admit that I was into gentle femdom. Literally, it took writing a whole ass gentle femdom romance novel, before I was like “yes, this is my kink. Obviously.” Even while I was writing it on wattpad, I’d be like “Oh….you know…I’m not into this. I’m just writing it.”

I can get into the opposite side too. I’ve definitely got a switchy kind of thing going on. And I had no problem talking about getting turned on by being dominated. But with the femdom stuff I was like…ah, I feel creepy! I think part of it is that most men will try out being the dominant one even if it isn’t their thing and they are usually a lot more averse to even the most tame femdom. Plus there’s the way women with that kink are portrayed in the media. It’s always some ball-busting cold woman like “on your knees, slave!” and no shame to people who enjoy that, but when that’s the ONLY portrayal of sexually-dominant women you see in mainstream media, and it’s treated like such a perverse thing-it’s never treated as sensual or hot like male dom/female sub is-it’s like you see that image of a dominant woman, and you’re more into gentle, tender stuff, it’s like confusing. You know?

I didn’t really know what was up with my sexuality and why it didn’t fit into any box until I discovered r/gentlefemdom on reddit a few years ago and was like “YES! These are my people. This is what I keep trying to make happen in my sex life!” I just think it’s tough to not really have a script for the stuff that turns you on. Most other kinks people have a frame of reference, where most people don’t for gentle femdom, including me.

I remember when I was 19, seeing if my boyfriend at the time would let me pin his wrists down and tease him. It right away turned into “What is this? Some kind of dominatrix thing?” and he was so worried I was going to escalate to all kinds of whipping/humiliation stuff. It was like he didn’t believe me when I was like, “No, I’m not into that” because his only frame of reference for women being sexually-dominant is the more intense dominatrix we might see in a tv show or movie-usually as a gag to show how perverse or strange a particular character is. 

*Takes deep breath* Okay! All of that is to say….Is shame more common with femdom than with male dom/female sub BDSM? And why do you think gentle femdom is this niche kink so few people know about? Do you think we’ll ever see more mainstream exposure for that gentle/tender form of BDSM?

Shame of my lifestyle choice? That never really came into play for me. I used it more as an experimental phase like most teens or young adults do. I just knew if I didn’t tell a guy what I wanted and how I wanted it, that I would have a more difficult time climaxing. I’m what you would call blunt or direct about what’s on my mind. Without trying it at all, you’ll end up reading about it or seeing a naughty video somehow. That’s usually how most people find their kinks. 

Now shame or dissatisfaction is exactly what any Dom uses with the sub. So don’t get confused by the two types.  It’s parallel to how you train a pet. You tell them no, they give you those big sad eyes and somehow we must resist the cute or wanting to comfort them and stand firm for the training to take hold. The shame a dolly/sub feels and how it is to be addressed is the difference. I want my dolly to know they did a bad thing and learn from it. Not be scared for life and walk on eggshells around me.  I feel like the question is more about how public is the shame for us to deal out? I personally keep mine fairly private as the relationship is for us and not the world. We have subtle cues and codes to alert each other when this kind of situation arises. 

Now about if this niche will find popularity, that depends on the fans of gentle femdoms.  I know personally that Pixie has run into issues that publishers do not want a female Dom book because the popularity is not high enough to invest in it. Most other female Doms I have come into contact with are super strict and more into a pain version of play than me. I enjoy making them crazy with lust and over sensitive. The reactions are my absolute fav to watch and experience. Doesn’t help that Hollywood only seems to make the shows and movies about the harsh ladies of Dominatrixes.

Help us make a gentle but firm femdom the next big thing! Support those who have taken the chance and put that image out in public!

This question is kind of random, but I’ve got to ask somebody. Why are so many of the men who like femdom into anime? What is going on there?

 I’m not throwing shade, I just can’t figure out the correlation. The gentle femdom romance I wrote keeps ending up listed on profiles with anime fanfiction all over it. I don’t watch anime that much. All the men who read my book do. And just anecdotally, all the men I meet in the wild who have that kink like anime. It just seems like such a random link and I’m so curious if you have any theories about it.

-giggles- This is all about a generation growing up in the height of Anime hitting the western world. You can thank Pokemon, Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball, Ninja Scroll, or even Gundam Wing for changing how a generation views women now. A lot of those shows have strong females who are very loving. So I truly believe it’s just how the generation was raised and stuck in front of a TV. I was probably mid teens when I saw Pokemon or Sailor Moon on TV. I also think Disney in the 90s is the reason for a lot more Furries in the world. They made some sexy looking foxy, ducky, or mousey ladies. 

Do you think people have to be part of “the scene” and all of that if they’re into BDSM? Or is it possible to cultivate that kind of dynamic just by going through the mainstream dating venues?

Being into BDSM does not require a community. It’s just really fricken nice to have like minded people to discuss BDSM topics with. As you mentioned with dating and how to bring it up, I always find kinky videos a good way to see how my partner reacts before telling them what I’m into. Have fun discussing what you want to try. Weirdly enough, Truth or Dares are a great way to get into or deal out a small punishment. There are tons of pretty simple games out there to play questionnaire with your partner. Every one knows about sexy dice! I prefer the Truth or Dare. So yes, you can still end up in BDSM without belonging to a community. Shipping to houses anything you need really has removed the element of needing a village to acquire what you need.

If people want to use mainstream dating sites, is there a way to subtly advertise that they’re into BDSM or role reversal in their bio, but without coming right out and saying it? 

That’s really really tricky to put on a site without someone being able to connect the dots. These sites are specifically made to help find a match to your kink. I believe I touched on a few ideas in your 2nd question about sites. The most subtle way I have seen people advertise is actually in the art they post or like. You will see who likes bold print art (Dom), or messy multicolored art (texture), to ink blots (imaginative), to the clash of art mixtures (inventive), and even the most wholesome art (sub). Each picture that we like has something that calls out to your soul and mind. It’s up to the possible partner to be able to puzzle it together on the more subtle end if that is how you wish to portray yourself on such a site.

You help Pixie Stormcrow out with her ‘Dear Lani’ BDSM advice column, right? What has that experience been like? Do you have any other BDSM-themed content in the works or planned for anytime in the future? 

Helping Pixie with the Dear Lani is a first time exposure of my style. I’m quite quiet in public about my style since where I live really has not caught up to modern times. I’m surprised that the one stripper place we have here hasn’t been torched. But I digress.

The experience has been uniquely challenging because we would pick a topic to talk about in word form, but then we received very little written feedback. We wrote for months before our first brave soul mentioned how helpful it was to read. That was the moment when I knew we were being read and that it was by more than 2 people. It’s a standing fact that for every one person who speaks up, there are about 10 others who agree but are not willing to voice it so. The biggest factor for our help columns is we need that feedback from our fans! Ask us questions! Or offer up a scenario you wish to have our intake on! I don’t wish to lose fans by constantly repeating the same advice. Or we go a direction on the columns that our fans are not interested in. All things we want to avoid. But as we have noticed, male writers seem to get the most responsive fans.

Perhaps someday, Pixie and I will be that famous. But I have always enjoyed helping the quiet ones find their paths and guide how I can. To see them blossom and find themselves, that’s what Jacob is all about. Lani is all about being supportive and their cheerleader for confidence. Darryl is for the ruggish charm and unapologetic style. Erica is extremely set rules, guidelines and order. Elijah is the beauty and art of the individual.

The only future works I have planned is my own body fitness and healthcare during these Covid Times. To take care of my sub hub as best I can. And of course answer anyone who is willing to ask a question. No matter how dumb, cause there was always a reason for the question to have formed in the first place.

I believe the Dear Lani would have to explode in popularity before I could really plan anything more elaborate. I love reading but I can’t make up a story worth a damn. My grammar has always been a weakness of my scholarly ways. So I am very glad I met Pixie and can help her express her voice and stories. And now you with your blog of course!

To all my Lovelies out there, keep reading and asking questions so that you can be confidently you!

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That’s it for my interview with Shadow! For more information about BDSM and a kinky lifestyle, check out the advice column she contributes to, along with erotica author Pixie Stormcrow.

Read ‘Dear Lani’ here.

Dear Lani

Dialogue Mistakes New Writers Make

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I wouldn’t consider myself a new writer. I also wouldn’t consider myself an absolute master of the craft. I struggle with tons of stuff. For the stuff I struggle with, I look to more skilled and experienced writers for help. And just as I’m looking up to others with more experience and skill, I’m always trying to give back and help people who are fresher in their writing journey than I am.

Beta reading and critiquing for so many new writers, both casually in my travels around the writing community, and professionally back when I was a ghostwriter and clients would send me their rough drafts, I’ve seen some dialogue mistakes repeated time and time again.

I’ll start with dialogue formatting, and let me come right out and admit it; I made my fair share of these mistakes circa 2015/2016 too.

Too Many Full Stops and Capitalizing Pronouns

Wrong: “If you insist.” She said.

Right: “If you insist,” she said.

“She said” is part of the full sentence. There shouldn’t be a period within the quotes; there should be a comma, and since the sentence hasn’t ended, the pronoun shouldn’t be capitalized.

Forgetting the Comma

This mistake was all me back in the day. I’m still finding missing commas in old shelved manuscripts, when I pour through them trying to Frankenstein them into something new.

Wrong: “Everyone is finally asleep” he whispered.

Right: “Everyone is finally asleep,” he whispered.

You need a comma before the end quote if the sentence does not end with the quote (unless the quote is a question).

Not Understanding You Can Use a Character’s Actions as a Dialogue Tag

This one was literally me all the way up into 2018. Literally two years after graduating with a Creative Writing degree, I still didn’t know you could use a character’s actions as a dialogue tag (as long as it is the character who is speaking). Someone on wattpad had to teach me this: the author of The Vigilante and the Dragon, JM Coles. I learn stuff on wattpad all the time. The people there are great.

Anyway, let me show you what I used to do.

Wrong: “Be quiet.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Nobody asked you anyway.”

Right: “Be quiet.” He rolled his eyes. “Nobody asked you anyway.”

It doesn’t need to be broken up onto a bunch of different lines, since the guy rolling his eyes is the same person speaking. The only time you would separate action and dialogue is when it’s the actions of one character and the dialogue of another. Speaking of which…

Not Separating One Character’s Speech From Another’s Actions

Wrong: Chris threw his hands into the air. “I don’t know why you’re so upset!” I cried. Chris just shook his head.

Right: Chris threw his hands into the air.

“I don’t know why you’re so upset!” I cried.

Chris just shook his head.

Italicizing

I genuinely do not know what the fuck is up with this, but a lot of newbie writers will italicize all the dialogue. Like ALL the dialogue….in the whole ass story. No clue who told them to do that.

Wrong: “I wish I could go to the moon.”

Right: “I wish I could go to the moon.”

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Okay! Now onto the actual dialogue.

All the Characters Sound the Same

People all speak differently. Think about who the character is when you write dialogue. Are they shy? Then they probably won’t say much. Are they pretentious? Then they’ll probably use a lot of fancy words and a lot of r/iamverysmart-esque phrases. Are they kind? Then they’ll probably sugar-coat bad news. Are they direct and callous? They’ll probably never sugar-coat anything.

Make sure to give each character a unique voice. They shouldn’t all sound exactly like the author. They should be fully-realized three-dimensional people.

All the Speech is Perfectly Grammatically Correct

I’ve actually seen fellow writers argue that no character should ever start a sentence with the word “well” because technically the use of the word “well” in that way is not grammatically correct.

Some people love to be obtuse just so they can prove how hard they paid attention in English class. (I used to teach English-shut the fuck up with that pretentious noise).

There is a such thing as colloquialisms. Ya dumb hoe.

Pretentious fucks really get on my nerves like nothing else.

We all know that out here on planet earth, a lot of people start sentences with the word “well.” It’s an introductory phrase. Ir signifies that an explanation-possibly of some depth-is coming. It gives listeners a cue to listen closely. Another way to use “well” as an introductory phrase is as a “brace yourself.” It means that the speaker is going to say something difficult, maybe for the listener, or maybe it’s just difficult for them to say it. In both cases, the word “well” serves a purpose to the tone of the message.

But did anybody need me to come out and say all that shit? Y’all knew it intuitively.

Don’t get so hung up on what is and isn’t grammatically correct that you ignore the realities and nuances of colloquial human speech.

Same for the word “good.” When I have a character answer the question “How are you?” with “good” I don’t want any snotty fucks coming at me like “Actually, he should say he is WELL.”

My gosh that is irritating. Customers come at me with that too sometimes. I look at them without smiling and go, “I’m fine with using colloquial speech. I find it pretentious to go around speaking so formally.”

Same for using “and me” instead of “and I.” My characters often say “Ingrid and me are going to the waterfall.” Instead of “Ingrid and I are going to the waterfall.” In everyday life, I say “and me” even when I know “and I” is technically correct. The purpose of language is to convey both information and tone. In my opinion, speaking too formally conveys a cold tone.

There’s a really great speech about exactly what I mean in the novel ‘To Kill a Mockingbird.’ The housekeeper explains to the kids why she doesn’t use proper grammar when talking to the other people at her church. She doesn’t want them to think she’s putting on airs or trying to be better than them.

When you’re truly being friendly, you’re speaking in a laid-back way that doesn’t draw attention to itself or attempt to stand out from everyone else. If your goal is not to be freindly, but to be an insufferable shit, then I guess go ahead and be WELL and tell us how “my mother AND I went to the store.”

If you write a very proper or pretentious character, then it makes sense for them to speak with absolutely proper grammar at all times. But for all other characters, just make them sound like a real human being. \

That’s all the newbie dialogue mistakes I’ve got for you!

Did I miss any? Leave it in the comments below

Science in the Middle Ages – Rediscovering its Latent Genius — Medievalists.net

Did “science” exist as we commonly refer to it today in the Middle Ages, or was research and study treated as a mere curiosity?

Science in the Middle Ages – Rediscovering its Latent Genius — Medievalists.net