Dialogue Mistakes New Writers Make

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I wouldn’t consider myself a new writer. I also wouldn’t consider myself an absolute master of the craft. I struggle with tons of stuff. For the stuff I struggle with, I look to more skilled and experienced writers for help. And just as I’m looking up to others with more experience and skill, I’m always trying to give back and help people who are fresher in their writing journey than I am.

Beta reading and critiquing for so many new writers, both casually in my travels around the writing community, and professionally back when I was a ghostwriter and clients would send me their rough drafts, I’ve seen some dialogue mistakes repeated time and time again.

I’ll start with dialogue formatting, and let me come right out and admit it; I made my fair share of these mistakes circa 2015/2016 too.

Too Many Full Stops and Capitalizing Pronouns

Wrong: “If you insist.” She said.

Right: “If you insist,” she said.

“She said” is part of the full sentence. There shouldn’t be a period within the quotes; there should be a comma, and since the sentence hasn’t ended, the pronoun shouldn’t be capitalized.

Forgetting the Comma

This mistake was all me back in the day. I’m still finding missing commas in old shelved manuscripts, when I pour through them trying to Frankenstein them into something new.

Wrong: “Everyone is finally asleep” he whispered.

Right: “Everyone is finally asleep,” he whispered.

You need a comma before the end quote if the sentence does not end with the quote (unless the quote is a question).

Not Understanding You Can Use a Character’s Actions as a Dialogue Tag

This one was literally me all the way up into 2018. Literally two years after graduating with a Creative Writing degree, I still didn’t know you could use a character’s actions as a dialogue tag (as long as it is the character who is speaking). Someone on wattpad had to teach me this: the author of The Vigilante and the Dragon, JM Coles. I learn stuff on wattpad all the time. The people there are great.

Anyway, let me show you what I used to do.

Wrong: “Be quiet.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Nobody asked you anyway.”

Right: “Be quiet.” He rolled his eyes. “Nobody asked you anyway.”

It doesn’t need to be broken up onto a bunch of different lines, since the guy rolling his eyes is the same person speaking. The only time you would separate action and dialogue is when it’s the actions of one character and the dialogue of another. Speaking of which…

Not Separating One Character’s Speech From Another’s Actions

Wrong: Chris threw his hands into the air. “I don’t know why you’re so upset!” I cried. Chris just shook his head.

Right: Chris threw his hands into the air.

“I don’t know why you’re so upset!” I cried.

Chris just shook his head.

Italicizing

I genuinely do not know what the fuck is up with this, but a lot of newbie writers will italicize all the dialogue. Like ALL the dialogue….in the whole ass story. No clue who told them to do that.

Wrong: “I wish I could go to the moon.”

Right: “I wish I could go to the moon.”

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Okay! Now onto the actual dialogue.

All the Characters Sound the Same

People all speak differently. Think about who the character is when you write dialogue. Are they shy? Then they probably won’t say much. Are they pretentious? Then they’ll probably use a lot of fancy words and a lot of r/iamverysmart-esque phrases. Are they kind? Then they’ll probably sugar-coat bad news. Are they direct and callous? They’ll probably never sugar-coat anything.

Make sure to give each character a unique voice. They shouldn’t all sound exactly like the author. They should be fully-realized three-dimensional people.

All the Speech is Perfectly Grammatically Correct

I’ve actually seen fellow writers argue that no character should ever start a sentence with the word “well” because technically the use of the word “well” in that way is not grammatically correct.

Some people love to be obtuse just so they can prove how hard they paid attention in English class. (I used to teach English-shut the fuck up with that pretentious noise).

There is a such thing as colloquialisms. Ya dumb hoe.

Pretentious fucks really get on my nerves like nothing else.

We all know that out here on planet earth, a lot of people start sentences with the word “well.” It’s an introductory phrase. Ir signifies that an explanation-possibly of some depth-is coming. It gives listeners a cue to listen closely. Another way to use “well” as an introductory phrase is as a “brace yourself.” It means that the speaker is going to say something difficult, maybe for the listener, or maybe it’s just difficult for them to say it. In both cases, the word “well” serves a purpose to the tone of the message.

But did anybody need me to come out and say all that shit? Y’all knew it intuitively.

Don’t get so hung up on what is and isn’t grammatically correct that you ignore the realities and nuances of colloquial human speech.

Same for the word “good.” When I have a character answer the question “How are you?” with “good” I don’t want any snotty fucks coming at me like “Actually, he should say he is WELL.”

My gosh that is irritating. Customers come at me with that too sometimes. I look at them without smiling and go, “I’m fine with using colloquial speech. I find it pretentious to go around speaking so formally.”

Same for using “and me” instead of “and I.” My characters often say “Ingrid and me are going to the waterfall.” Instead of “Ingrid and I are going to the waterfall.” In everyday life, I say “and me” even when I know “and I” is technically correct. The purpose of language is to convey both information and tone. In my opinion, speaking too formally conveys a cold tone.

There’s a really great speech about exactly what I mean in the novel ‘To Kill a Mockingbird.’ The housekeeper explains to the kids why she doesn’t use proper grammar when talking to the other people at her church. She doesn’t want them to think she’s putting on airs or trying to be better than them.

When you’re truly being friendly, you’re speaking in a laid-back way that doesn’t draw attention to itself or attempt to stand out from everyone else. If your goal is not to be freindly, but to be an insufferable shit, then I guess go ahead and be WELL and tell us how “my mother AND I went to the store.”

If you write a very proper or pretentious character, then it makes sense for them to speak with absolutely proper grammar at all times. But for all other characters, just make them sound like a real human being. \

That’s all the newbie dialogue mistakes I’ve got for you!

Did I miss any? Leave it in the comments below