Lora Cheadle's Blog: What Infidelity Taught me About Love

How to Stop Overthinking After Betrayal — Regulate Your Nervous System & Rebuild Self-Trust

Finding out you’ve been betrayed can feel like standing in the middle of a bomb site and being told to clean it up. You didn’t cause the explosion, but now you’re left wondering what to do next—and terrified you’ll make the wrong move.

“Should I stay? Should I leave? What if he does it again? What if I find out this hasn’t been the whole truth? What if I pick the wrong therapist or say the wrong thing?”

That fear of messing it up is one of the most painful and paralyzing parts of betrayal recovery. But it isn’t proof that you’re broken. It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do: protect you.

Why You Can’t Stop Overthinking After Betrayal

When infidelity or deep betrayal hits, it shatters your sense of reality. You lose trust not only in your partner—but in yourself.

Before the betrayal, you believed you could tell truth from lies. You thought you were a good judge of character. You prided yourself on being capable, smart, and discerning. Then the rug got ripped out from under you, and your body went into survival mode.

That’s why your brain won’t stop spinning. It’s not indecision—it’s dysregulation. Your nervous system has been hijacked.

When we’re in survival mode, we flip into one of the four trauma responses:

Fight: I’m going to fix this right now.

Flight: I need to get away.

Freeze: I can’t do anything.

Fawn (or Fix): I’ll keep everyone happy so it doesn’t get worse.

In these states, the rational part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex) goes offline. You literally can’t think clearly until your body feels safe again.

The First Step: Regulate Before You Decide

You can’t think your way out of betrayal—you have to regulate your way through it.

Try these quick nervous-system resets:

Breathe or hum: Elongating your exhale or humming activates the vagus nerve and tells your body you’re safe.

Move: Shake out your hands, walk outside, or stretch your arms overhead. Movement signals completion.

Soothe with sound: Chant, sing, or even gargle—vibration grounds your energy.

Anchor your senses: Name five things you see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste.

These simple tools bring your body back to safety so your thinking brain can come back online. From there, you can make decisions based on clarity—not panic.

Truth Bomb: Regulate first. Decide second.

You Were Cheated On Because You’re Strong, Not Weak

High-achieving women often ask, “How could this have happened to me when I tried so hard to do everything right?” The truth is: you weren’t cheated on because you were weak—you were targeted because you’re strong.

Your competence, empathy, and ability to hold things together were hijacked. These strengths made your life work—but they also made it easier for a wounded or insecure partner to lean on you, avoid accountability, and weaponize your capability.

That realization can feel like another betrayal. But it’s also liberating. It means your strengths are still intact—you just get to use them differently now.

The Fear of “Messing It Up”

After betrayal, capable women often shoulder the unfair pressure to “fix” what they didn’t break. You’re asked to save the marriage, protect the kids, stabilize the home, choose the right therapist, and somehow make the best decision for everyone.

No wonder you’re afraid of screwing it up!

But here’s what I want you to hear, deep in your bones:

Just because you make the final decision doesn’t mean you caused the problem.

Ending a marriage, taking space, or changing course isn’t “blowing it up.” The betrayal already did that. Your choices now are about how to clean up the aftermath—with dignity, discernment, and care for yourself.

The Dog-Poop Analogy (You’ll Never Forget It)

Infidelity is like the neighbor’s dog running into your house and pooping on your living room carpet. Then the neighbor refuses to clean it up.

You’re left with the mess.

You can:

Throw a rug over it and pretend it’s fine (but eventually, it’ll smell).

Half-clean it and live with a stain.

Or do the deep cleaning—investing time, energy, and maybe outside help—to truly remove it.

Whatever you choose, you didn’t create the mess. You’re simply the one brave enough to face it.

Becoming a Discerning Healer

Many betrayed women rush into therapy or coaching, desperate for relief—only to end up retraumatized by providers who don’t understand betrayal dynamics.

You have permission to interview therapists and coaches. Ask:

Are you trauma-informed?

Do you understand infidelity recovery?

How do you handle crisis vs long-term processing?

If someone doesn’t feel right, move on. You are the expert on you.

“Be a discerning customer of help. You can interview therapists—and say no.”

From Survival to Self-Trust

Overthinking is your body’s way of trying to keep you safe. But safety doesn’t come from perfect choices; it comes from self-trust.

When you calm your nervous system, you remember who you are: the strong, wise, capable woman you’ve always been. The one who can rebuild—not because she has to, but because she chooses to.

You’re not going to mess this up. You’re too aware for that.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Healing after betrayal is a process—but it’s one you can absolutely master.

Download the Free Betrayal Recovery Guide
Start calming your mind and body today: www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com

Knowledge & Injury of Betrayal: Why Truth Hurts, and How It Heals

What exactly is injured when betrayal happens?Is it your body? Your bank account? Your heart? Or is it something deeper—your reality itself?

In betrayal recovery, one of the hardest truths to face is this: the knowledge of betrayal is both the deepest wound and the only way through.

What Is the Knowledge and Injury of Betrayal?

On paper, the injury begins the moment your partner cheats. But in lived experience, the injury doesn’t land until the day you find out. That’s when the gaslighting unravels, the stories collapse, and the puzzle pieces of the past suddenly click into place.

Without that knowledge, you might have gone on believing the lie. And while ignorance can feel safer, it keeps you bound to a false life. Knowledge hurts—but it also liberates.

When Does the Injury of Betrayal Actually Begin?

Technically, the betrayal happens in secret. But the injury of betrayal begins with discovery—the moment you gain knowledge of what really happened.

That’s why betrayal cuts so deep: it’s not just the act, it’s the shattering of trust, safety, and perception of your own past.

Knowledge of Betrayal and the Question of Justice

As a former attorney, I often think of betrayal through the lens of damages and justice. In court, a jury asks: What amount of money would make this person whole?

But betrayal isn’t about replacing a car after an accident. You can’t “replace” your trust, your innocence, or years of marriage built on half-truths. The injury of betrayal is not just physical or financial—it’s emotional, spiritual, and existential.

So the better question is: What would make me feel whole again?

How to Find Healing After the Injury of Betrayal

External accountability matters—yes, your partner may need to make amends. But the justice that transforms you is internal. It’s the moment you say:

I will stop abandoning myself.

I will make and keep promises to me.

I will take what I need—time, rest, nourishment, joy—without apology.

This is how you begin to restore justice where betrayal has wounded you.

The Garden of Eden: Knowledge, Shame, and Betrayal

Betrayal echoes the ancient story of Adam and Eve. Before eating the fruit, they were naked and unashamed. After gaining knowledge, they saw differently—nothing outside changed, but everything inside did.

That’s what knowledge of betrayal does. It changes how you see yourself, your partner, and your past. Painful? Yes. But also empowering, because once you see the truth, you can never go back to the lie.

From Knowledge of Betrayal to Wisdom and Wholeness

The knowledge of betrayal will always hurt. But it can also become the foundation of your healing. Ask yourself:

What do I need, right now, to feel whole?

What promises must I keep to myself from this day forward?

How can I take—not just receive—the time, resources, and care I need?

The injury is real. The wound is deep. But when you allow knowledge to become wisdom, you move from being broken by betrayal to being rebuilt by truth.

Next Steps

Download your free Betrayal Recovery Guide

Join Sanctuary of the Soul or $47/month—monthly coaching, rituals, and sisterhood.Stop, put your hand on your heart, take a long, slow, deep breath, and send yourself some compassion and love!

The post Knowledge & Injury of Betrayal: Why Truth Hurts, and How It Heals appeared first on Lora Cheadle.

Betrayal in a Shaken World: Finding Steady Ground When Trust Breaks

Betrayal is often thought of in personal terms—an affair, a broken promise, a friend who lets us down. But betrayal isn’t just about relationships. At its core, betrayal is the shock of a foundational expectation collapsing. It’s the moment when what you trusted would keep you safe, steady, or true… doesn’t.

That’s why, in times like these, betrayal feels so heavy in the air. When leaders are assassinated, when weather events destroy homes and communities, when systems we rely on—government, corporations, even the climate—fail to protect us, many of us experience a collective form of betrayal. We believed someone or something would keep us safe. And it didn’t.

This week also marked the anniversary of 9/11, one of the most profound betrayals in recent history. Regardless of where you were that day, the attacks left many with the devastating realization that the safety we took for granted could vanish in an instant. For many, the world became a less secure and less trustworthy place overnight.

When public figures are attacked—as in the recent assassination attempt on Charlie Kirk—it doesn’t just impact them or their families. Regardless of what you thought of him or his politics, as humans we don’t expect violence to be carried out against one another. When it happens, it shakes our collective sense of safety and trust. It feels like betrayal: betrayal of the basic expectation that, even in disagreement, we can live without fear of violence.

Why World Events Hurt More When You’re Healing From Infidelity

If you are healing after infidelity, you may notice that global events—terror attacks, violence, political unrest, even natural disasters—hit you harder than before. That’s not a flaw in you. That’s betrayal trauma.

Once you’ve experienced betrayal in one area of life, your nervous system becomes hyper-sensitive. Your trust in the world is already fractured. So when more betrayals—personal or collective—occur, they cut deeper. They don’t just shake your worldview; they confirm the fear that nothing is safe, nothing is trustworthy, and everything can collapse in an instant.

If you’re feeling more raw, more anxious, or more overwhelmed right now, nothing is wrong with you. It’s normal. Your body and mind are responding exactly as anyone’s would after a profound betrayal.

What Betrayal Trauma Really Feels Like

Psychologists often describe betrayal as the breaking of a foundational expectation. It’s not just the event—it’s the rupture in trust. That rupture can feel like:

Shock (“How could this happen?”)

Anger (“They were supposed to protect me!”)

Grief (“The world will never be the same.”)

Fear (“If I can’t trust this, what else will fail?”)

Whether it’s in your marriage, your workplace, or your community, betrayal cuts deep because it dismantles the stories we live by: that our partner is loyal, that our leaders will serve, that nature will nurture, that the future is predictable.

Five Tools to Begin Healing After Betrayal

Betrayal doesn’t have to leave you broken. With the right tools, you can process the pain and begin to rebuild trust—in yourself, in others, and in life. Here are five ways to start:

1. Name What You’re Feeling

Often we minimize betrayal, telling ourselves we should “get over it” or believing that because it didn’t impact us directly, we have no “right” to feel emotional. Naming your experience as betrayal validates the pain and makes it easier to address. Say to yourself: This feels like betrayal because I expected safety, and that safety was broken.

2. Ground in the Present

Betrayal pulls us into spirals of “what if” and “what else will fail.” Slow down and bring yourself back to now. Try:

Placing your feet on the floor and noticing the ground supporting you.

Taking three slow breaths, lengthening the exhale.

Saying out loud one thing that is steady in your life today.

3. Express Safely

Betrayal often brings intense anger or grief. Suppressing those emotions can lead to depression or anxiety. Find safe outlets:

Journaling what you wish you could say.

Moving your body—walk, dance, shake it out.

Talking with a trusted counselor who can hold space without judgment.

4. Rebuild Small Trusts

When the big things feel shattered, focus on the small. Trust the sun will rise tomorrow. Trust your body when it’s hungry or tired. Trust yourself to take one step forward today. These small acts rebuild a sense of stability.

5. Reach for Support

Healing from betrayal—personal or collective—does not happen in isolation. Whether through counseling, support groups, or community connection, being with others who “get it” reminds you that you are not alone.

Healing After Infidelity and Other Betrayals

We can’t always stop betrayal from happening—whether in our intimate relationships or in the wider world. But we can choose how we respond. We can acknowledge the rupture, tend to our pain, and slowly create new sources of safety and strength.

If you’re recovering from infidelity, remember this: feeling more shaken by world events right now is not weakness. It’s a normal part of betrayal trauma. With the right support, you can calm the chaos, rebuild your self-trust, and rise stronger than ever before.

About the Author

Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt, is an attorney turned betrayal recovery coach and author of It’s Not Burnout, It’s Betrayal. She helps high-achieving women move from devastation to wholeness after infidelity and betrayal through her Life Choreography® coaching framework, which integrates legal clarity, emotional healing, somatic release, and spiritual growth.

Download her free Betrayal Recovery Guide for five simple tools to help with feelings of betrayal at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com

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Surviving Your Wedding Anniversary After Infidelity: How to Heal, Reframe, and Reclaim the Day

A wedding anniversary is meant to be a celebration of love, commitment, and shared history. But after infidelity or betrayal, this once-joyful day can feel like a knife in the heart. Instead of flowers and champagne, anniversaries often bring up triggers, painful memories, and a sense of loss for the relationship you thought you had.

If you���re facing your wedding anniversary after infidelity, you are not alone���and you don���t have to stay stuck in dread. With the right tools, it���s possible to move beyond the pain, reclaim the day for yourself, and create new meaning that honors your healing journey.

Why Anniversaries Hurt After Betrayal

When you���ve been betrayed, anniversaries don���t just mark the passage of time. They represent broken promises, shattered trust, and the life you believed was true. That���s why surviving a wedding anniversary after betrayal can feel so overwhelming. Your body and mind remember, and the date itself becomes a powerful trigger.

But here���s the truth: triggers are not life sentences. They���re invitations to heal.

How to Cope With Triggers on Your Anniversary

Acknowledge the Pain: Pretending everything is fine only deepens the wound. Allow yourself to grieve what was lost.

Reframe the Day: Your marriage anniversary after cheating doesn���t have to belong to betrayal. You can reclaim it as a milestone in your healing journey.

Create New Rituals: Light a candle, take a solo trip, or celebrate your resilience with friends. Healing rituals give you agency over the day.

Seek Support: Healing after infidelity is multidimensional. Surround yourself with people and practices that help you feel seen and safe.

From Surviving to Thriving

Your anniversary doesn���t have to remain a painful reminder. With guidance, you can transform it into an opportunity for reflection, empowerment, and sovereignty.

In my podcast episode, Wedding Anniversary After Infidelity: How to Heal, Reframe & Reclaim the Day, I share personal insights and practical strategies to help you handle anniversaries whether you���re staying, leaving, or still deciding. It���s a must-listen for anyone navigating this complex and emotional day.

Ready to Reclaim Yourself After Betrayal?

Anniversaries are just one piece of the healing puzzle. Betrayal impacts your body, mind, spirit, identity, and sense of safety. That���s why you need a complete, holistic path���not just fragments.

Inside my Affair Recovery for Women programs, you���ll find the tools, community, and multidimensional support you need to rise. From somatic release practices to legal clarity and spiritual guidance, you���ll learn how to gather the scattered pieces of yourself and step forward���whole, sovereign, and free.

Final Word

If your wedding anniversary after infidelity feels unbearable, know this: it doesn���t define you. You can choose how to honor the day. You can create new traditions that reflect your strength. And you can walk forward with clarity, healing, and hope.

Because betrayal doesn���t get the final word���you do.

��

The post Surviving Your Wedding Anniversary After Infidelity: How to Heal, Reframe, and Reclaim the Day appeared first on Lora Cheadle.

Is Cheating Ever Justified? Inside the Mindset of a Cheating Man

When betrayal hits, it feels like your world collapses. The questions come fast and furious: Why did he do this? Was it something I did? Is cheating ever justified?

You’re not alone. Every month, millions of people type those exact questions into Google. And here’s what most don’t realize: behind every affair is a mindset—a fragile, distorted belief system—that fuels cheating. Understanding that mindset won’t excuse the betrayal (because cheating is never justified), but it will explain it. And when you understand, you reclaim your power.

The Taboo of Infidelity: Why Nobody Talks About It

Infidelity is one of the last social taboos. Divorce? Mental health? Trauma? We’re finally talking about them openly. But betrayal? Most of us still suffer in silence, thinking we’re the only one this has ever happened to.

That silence is dangerous. It keeps you stuck. It keeps you ashamed. And it keeps the myths alive:

“He cheated because I wasn’t enough.”

“If I’d been sexier, smarter, or younger, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Cheating is just what men do.”

Let’s bust those myths right now.

The #1 Core Reason Men Cheat: Validation

Here’s the truth bomb: the number one motivator for men to cheat is not love, not sex, not escape. It’s validation.

Cheating says, “I matter. I’m desirable. Someone wants me.”
It’s a fragile ego reaching outside itself for proof of worth.

Eye-roll, right? But pause. This doesn’t excuse the behavior, it explains it. And when you understand the “why,” you stop internalizing the blame.

Justifications vs. Reasons: A Game-Changer for Betrayal Recovery

Most women hear something like:

“You ignored me.”

“You paid more attention to the kids.”

“You’re cold. You’re mean. You’re controlling.”

That’s not a reason. That’s a justification.

 A reason explains reality.A justification is a story the cheater tells himself to feel okay about what he did.

Big difference. And in my book FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self, I give you filter questions to sort the two. Run his words through those filters, and you’ll see clearly: cheating is never a reason. It’s always an excuse.

Cheating as Protection: Avoiding the Self

Cheating is also protective.
If he fears you’ll leave, cheating gives him a backup plan.
If he fears failure, cheating lets him avoid the discomfort of intimacy.

It’s a numbing mechanism: “I don’t have to feel my inadequacy here, because look—I’m successful with this other person!”

Except he’s not. It’s not a real relationship. It’s an escape hatch from authentic connection.

So, Is Cheating Ever Justified?

No.
Cheating is explainable. Cheating is common. Cheating is human. But cheating is never justified.

Just because something can be explained doesn’t mean it should be excused.

And here’s the reframe that sets you free:

His cheating is about his wounds, not your worth.

His choices reflect his mindset, not your value.

His betrayal broke trust—but it doesn’t get to break you.

Your Next Step After Betrayal

Betrayal doesn’t just hurt—it disorients. It scatters pieces of you across your mind, body, spirit, safety, and identity. Time alone won’t heal it. But putting the pieces back together will.

That’s exactly what I do with women inside my betrayal recovery programs. We heal it all—legal clarity, emotional release, somatic repair, spiritual and ancestral wisdom—so you rise whole and sovereign.

Download your free Betrayal Recovery Guide here: BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com

Or visit LoraCheadle.com for private coaching, workshops, and support.

Because your healing isn’t about saving the marriage or fixing him. It’s about reclaiming you.

Key Takeaways

Cheating is never justified. It may be explainable, but it’s always a choice rooted in validation-seeking and avoidance.

Justifications are not reasons. What he tells himself to feel better is not the truth.

Your worth is not on trial. His betrayal is about him. Your healing is about you.

Favoriete Quote

“Cheating is never justified. It’s not about your worth. It’s about his wounds.” – Lora Cheadle

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From Wounded to Wise After Betrayal: Reclaiming Yourself, Piece by Piece

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From Wounded to Wise After Betrayal: Reclaiming Yourself, Piece by Piece

Betrayal changes you. It’s not just the rupture of trust in your partner, your career, or your family. It’s the shattering of the story you thought you were living. One moment you were safe in a narrative you recognized, the next moment the floor gave way — and suddenly you’re a stranger in your own life.

You may know that feeling. The gasp of “How did this happen to me?” The spiral of self-blame. The desperate search for something — anything — to make the ache stop.

But here’s the truth that few will tell you:
Betrayal is not an ending. It’s an initiation.

It is the exact moment you are invited to transform. To rise from wounded into wise.

Wounded: The Breaking Open

When betrayal first hits, you can feel split into pieces.

Your mind loops with questions: Why? How could they? Was it me?

Your body tightens in hypervigilance, your nervous system caught between fight and freeze.

Your spirit feels abandoned — if this happened, where is God, where is meaning?

Your identity collapses. Who am I now, if not the wife, the partner, the professional, the daughter you thought you were?

It’s not weakness that brings you to your knees here. It’s the truth that something has cracked open. And in that rawness lies your doorway to wisdom.

Wise: The Gathering Back

Wisdom doesn’t mean bypassing pain or pretending it didn’t matter. Wisdom means gathering back the pieces of yourself — mind, body, spirit, identity, safety — and choosing how to carry them forward.

The challenge is that most healing methods only give you one piece of the puzzle.

Therapy helps with the mind.

Somatic work helps the body.

Spiritual practice helps the soul.

Legal clarity restores safety.

Each piece matters. But without the bigger vision of how they fit together, you can feel stuck, endlessly circling the same ground.

That’s why having a map is so essential.
When you understand where you are in the process and how the pieces connect, everything changes. You stop trying to force mismatched pieces together, and you begin to see the image of your life taking shape again.

You can do this. You can learn to hold your own map, to notice when you’re in the “mind” piece, when you’re in the “body” piece, when you’re in the “identity” piece — and to gently gather them back into a whole.

When you move this way, you don’t just survive betrayal. You begin to walk forward with clarity, with more ease, and with a sense of direction that was missing before.

And here’s something even deeper: betrayal isn’t only personal. It is ancestral. What you piece together for yourself, you also heal for the women who came before you, and for those who will come after you. Every step you take toward wisdom ripples out across generations.

Your Invitation

From wounded to wise is not a one-time decision. It’s a practice. A choreography of choice. Every day you are given the opportunity to:

Choose your own truth over the story you were left in.

Choose your worth over their rejection.

Choose your future over the fragments of the past.

Piece by piece, you gather yourself back. And in doing so, you become not only whole, but holy.

Closing

If you are standing at the edge of betrayal, trembling in the “wounded” stage, know this: you are not broken. You are being invited into the most profound evolution of your life.

From wounded to wise isn’t just possible — it’s your birthright.

Let truth light the way. And when it feels too heavy to carry alone, know that the light is never gone — it waits patiently until you are ready to see it again.

Listen to the full Podcast, From Wounded to Wise HERE.

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Sex After Betrayal: How to Heal Intimacy, Shame & Desire with Susan Bratton

Sex After Betrayal: How to Heal Intimacy, Shame & Desire with Susan Bratton“Why let cheating cheat you out of the pleasure that can heal you?” Susan Bratton—Intimacy Expert to Millions

Because if you’ve been betrayed by your partner, especially through infidelity, sex becomes complicated.

It can feel unsafe. Unwanted. Loaded with shame, resentment, or confusion.

And yet…

Your body still longs to be touched. Your spirit still craves connection. Your nervous system still needs a way to regulate, release, and remember that you are worthy of love, pleasure, and safety.

This blog is for you—the woman who is hurting, who is healing, and who is wondering if intimacy will ever feel good again.

The Emotional Earthquake of Betrayal

When Susan Bratton discovered her husband had cheated during their early years of marriage, she didn’t react with rage or blame. She sobbed. Not because he betrayed her—but because of the shame she felt for “not being enough.”

That’s the deeper truth so many of us carry:

If our partner cheats, we must have failed.

That pleasure isn’t for us anymore.

That our sexuality is broken.

But here’s what Susan teaches—and what I deeply believe too:

Betrayal is not the end. It’s a portal to rediscover your voice, your boundaries, and your sensual self.

Why Sex After Betrayal Feels So Hard—But Matters So Much

Let’s name it:

You might not trust your partner anymore.

You might not trust yourself.

You might feel repulsed, confused, or numb in your body.

You might even question if you’ll ever want to be touched again.

That’s all normal.

Healing intimacy after betrayal is a mind-body-spirit process, and it’s not linear. It requires:

Nervous system co-regulation

Spacious, shame-free communication

Emotional witnessing

Somatic release

Relearning pleasure—not for them, but for you

And above all, it requires time and safety.

The Science Behind Sexual Healing

Did you know that regular, orgasmic pleasure can:

Boost your immune system

Improve heart health

Generate oxytocin (the bonding and calming hormone)

Lower cortisol (stress hormone)

Improve cognitive clarity and emotional resilience

Susan calls it the Fourth Health Factor—on par with sleep, nutrition, and movement. And when you’ve been betrayed, your system needs this kind of reset.

Not performative sex.
Not obligation.
But authentic, embodied pleasure. Even if that starts with holding hands or a hug.

Tools to Heal Intimacy After Betrayal

Susan shared several free resources during the episode that are perfect for women—and couples—ready to reconnect:

1. Soulmate Embrace
A holding practice that builds trust, safety, and emotional release.

2. Magic Pill Method
A 5-step worksheet to talk through what’s missing, what’s painful, and what’s possible—without blame or shame.

3. Better Lover Newsletter
Weekly intimacy tips, pleasuring techniques, and tools to reignite connection and desire.

4. The 20 Store
Libido and nitric oxide supplements (DESIRE & FLOW) designed to support sexual vitality for women and men.

How to Know if You’re Ready

You don’t have to know how.
You just have to know you’re worth it.

Your body may feel shut down.
Your heart may still ache.
But the first step isn’t sex. It’s safety.
It’s self-trust.
It’s remembering that pleasure is your birthright.

 

Take the Next Step in Your Healing Journey

 ️ Listen to the full Podcast https://loracheadle.com/radio/sex-after-betrayal-healing-intimacy-susan-bratton/ 

Download Your Free Betrayal Recovery Guide Start healing emotionally, spiritually, and somatically with guided steps and support. www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com

Explore My Programs, Coaching & Retreats Learn how to rebuild after infidelity and reclaim your radiant self. www.loracheadle.com

Connect with Susan Bratton & Her Work

Website: susanbratton.com

YouTube: Better Lover Channel

Instagram: @susanbratton

Newsletter Signup: betterlover.com

 

You Deserve to Feel Good in Your Body Again

Whether you stay or go…
Whether you forgive or move on…
You are not broken.
You are not too old.
And it is never too late to experience deep, connected, soul-stirring intimacy again.

Start by reclaiming you.

The post Sex After Betrayal: How to Heal Intimacy, Shame & Desire with Susan Bratton appeared first on Lora Cheadle.

Sacred Self-Belonging: The Hidden Antidote to Betrayal Trauma

Sacred Self-Belonging: The Hidden Antidote to Betrayal Trauma

 

Because betrayal doesn’t just break your heart—it breaks your identity.

Most women who experience infidelity think their healing depends on fixing the relationship. But the real transformation begins when you stop trying to repair them—and start coming home to yourself.

Welcome to the truth no one talks about:

Betrayal recovery is not about forgiveness or understanding. It’s about Sacred Self-Belonging.

What Is Sacred Self-Belonging?

Sacred Self-Belonging is more than self-love or self-care. It’s an energetic, somatic, and spiritual homecoming to who you truly are.

It’s that moment when you realize:

“The real devastation wasn’t that they betrayed me—it’s that somewhere along the way, I stopped belonging to myself.”

This concept goes beyond bubble baths and journaling. Sacred Self-Belonging is about reinhabiting your body, reclaiming your thoughts, and reflecting your soul back to yourself—even when your life has exploded (sometimes literally… like mine did while filming the video for this episode, messy hair and all!).

The Real Fallout of Betrayal (That Nobody Warns You About)

Infidelity breaks more than trust. It ruptures:

Your nervous system (ever feel like you’re going crazy?)

Your self-perception (suddenly, your “picker” feels broken)

Your core identity (who even am I anymore?)

Your inner voice (which starts sounding suspiciously like your betrayer)

We internalize shame. We carry their shame. We overfunction to prove we’re worthy. And we abandon ourselves in a desperate attempt to be chosen.

But the truth?
You were never unworthy. You were just disconnected.

 

The 3 Practices That Bring You Home

Betrayal took you away from yourself. These three practices will bring you back:

1. The Mirror of Truth

Ask yourself: Where have I abandoned myself in order to be chosen?
Then stand in front of a mirror and reflect your essence back. “I see joy. I see wisdom. I see me. I belong to myself.”

2. Somatic Anchoring

Scan your body. Where do you feel safe? Anchor that safety with breath and touch. Feel your essence—in your gut, your heart, your fingertips. This is your body. Come back to it.

3. Rescripting the Inner Voice

Notice who your inner critic sounds like. Your betrayer? A critical parent? Then rewire it. Say: “You’ve got this, Lora.” (Insert your name here.) Make your self-talk match your sacred truth—not their wounds.

Why This Work Is Revolutionary

Most recovery models focus on rebuilding the relationship or forgiving the betrayer. That’s helpful—but incomplete.

You can’t rebuild with someone else until you’ve reinhabited yourself.

This is why I teach betrayal recovery differently. I blend:

Somatic attachment therapy

Legal and emotional sovereignty

Spiritual reconnection

And yes—even sacred, joyful embodiment (because dancing in a messy bathroom after your sewer explodes is healing too)

 

When You Belong to Yourself, Everything Changes

I’ve watched client after client stop chasing validation, stop managing their partner’s shame, and stop trying to be the “cool wife” who handles it all. I’ve seen them reclaim their voice, their body, their freedom—and say:

“This was the worst thing that ever happened to me… and the best thing that ever happened for me.”

Betrayal ends where Sacred Self-Belonging begins.

Ready to Begin?

Download your free Betrayal Recovery Guide
Start the journey home to yourself: BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com

Listen to the full episode here: https://loracheadle.com/radio/from-betrayal-to-sacred-self-belonging-healing-the-relationship-with-yourself-after-infidelity/ 

Book your $97 Private Betrayal Recovery Session
Explore what sacred self-belonging would look like in your life: loracheadle.com

Because who you are is always more than enough.

And you never have to abandon yourself again.

The post Sacred Self-Belonging: The Hidden Antidote to Betrayal Trauma appeared first on Lora Cheadle.

Infidelity, Ego & Power: What the Astronomer CEO Scandal Reveals About Why Men Cheat

Infidelity, Ego & Power: What the Astronomer CEO Scandal Reveals About Why Men Cheat“Cheating is not about sex—it’s about power, pain, and the ego’s desperate attempt to feel alive.”

You’ve probably seen the headlines by now: the CEO of a major tech firm—Astronomer—caught in a high-profile affair with his HR manager. It’s sensational. It’s messy. And for those of us who’ve lived through betrayal, it’s triggering.

Because whether your own experience played out in silence or splashed across the internet, the questions are the same:

Why did he cheat? What did I do wrong? Was I not enough?

Let me be clear: his affair was not about you, and neither was your partner’s. Cheating—especially when it comes from men in positions of power—is less about sex and more about ego, emotional immaturity, and fear. And scandals like this one help us shine a light on the hidden causes of infidelity, so you can stop spinning in self-blame and start reclaiming your power.

 

Why Successful Men Cheat (Hint: It’s Not About You)

As a lawyer and betrayal recovery coach, I’ve spent years digging beneath the surface. On my podcast, FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity or Betrayal. I don’t accept lazy answers like, “He wanted better sex,” or “The spark was gone.” Those are surface-level excuses. The deeper reasons are emotional, psychological, and often cultural.

And public affairs—like the Astronomer CEO’s—give us a real-time case study in what’s actually going on behind the scenes.

7 Hidden Drivers of Cheating (and How the CEO Scandal Fits Them All)1. The Escape Route

Sometimes, men cheat to end a relationship without the courage to say so. Confrontation terrifies them. So instead, they implode everything.

The Astronomer CEO knew what he was risking. Instead of resigning or addressing unhappiness openly, he created an exit door through destruction.

2. The Desperate Cling

Others cheat not to leave—but to stay. They’re desperate for connection, but too ashamed to ask for it or admit they’re struggling.

An affair with someone who works for him? That’s not just access—it’s a cry for validation from a place of disempowerment and shame.

3. Addiction & Dopamine

Cheating can become compulsive, like gambling. It’s not about the person—it’s about the high.

CEOs live for adrenaline. Power, risk, dominance. An affair? Just another hit of control and excitement when life feels empty or stale.

4. The Ego Stroke

Midlife hits. Career peaks or stalls. Suddenly, he feels invisible. So he seeks someone who makes him feel important again.

An HR manager calling him brilliant, needed, sexy? That’s ego balm—especially if he’s feeling irrelevant or insecure behind the scenes.

5. Emotional Immaturity

Many men never learn to feel, process, or communicate emotions. They act out instead of speaking up.

It takes maturity to say, “I’m struggling.” It takes zero maturity to hide behind sexts and hotel rooms.

6. Entitlement & Culture

Let’s be real: men in power are often told they deserve more—more money, more admiration, more sex. And if someone says no? They find someone who’ll say yes.

From JFK to CEOs today, society has rewarded powerful men for cheating. That doesn’t make it okay—it makes it predictable.

7. Narcissism & Personality Disorders

Some cheaters truly don’t care who they hurt. If they lack empathy or see people as tools for gratification, betrayal becomes easy—and frequent.

Whether the Astronomer CEO fits this category or not, many betrayed women are trapped in relationships with men who simply can’t or won’t feel remorse. And that’s a danger zone.

 

 

What This Means For You

If you’re spinning in self-doubt, let me say this loud and clear:

His betrayal is not a reflection of your body, your beauty, or your behavior. It’s a reflection of his brokenness.

The public scandal might be juicy gossip to some, but to us, it’s validation. Infidelity isn’t personal—it’s patterned.

Understanding the real reasons men cheat helps you stop asking, “What did I miss?” and start asking, “What do I need now?”

 

Your Healing Journey Begins Now

You don’t need to fix him. You don’t need to follow the tabloids or dissect his story.

You need to come home to you.

Instead of asking why he did it, ask:
What do I need right now?
What truth is this pain trying to reveal?
What part of me is ready to rise?

On FLAUNT!, I guide women through infidelity with the legal clarity, emotional tools, and spiritual support you need to recover and thrive.

Download your free Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com
Listen to Episode 50 for all 7 hidden causes of infidelity—and how to break free from them.

#AstronomerCEO #WhyMenCheat #InfidelityRecovery #BetrayalHealing #EgoAndAffairs #CheatingExposed #SacredSelfWorth #FLAUNTPodcast #ReclaimYourPower

 

The post Infidelity, Ego & Power: What the Astronomer CEO Scandal Reveals About Why Men Cheat appeared first on Lora Cheadle.

Pissed, Passive, or Potent? How to Reclaim Your Power After Betrayal

Pissed, Passive, or Potent? How to Reclaim Your Power After BetrayalYou Didn’t Choose the Betrayal—But You Do Get to Choose Who You Become After

When betrayal hits—whether it’s infidelity, abandonment, or a deep rupture of trust—the impact is more than emotional. It’s existential. Suddenly, everything you thought you knew about your relationship, your identity, and your future is blown apart.

It’s normal to react. You might find yourself pissed (and rightfully so), raging against your partner, the affair partner, or the injustice of it all. Or you might swing the other way and go passive, shutting down, numbing out, avoiding conflict, and whispering “whatever” through clenched teeth.

But there’s a third way—a path of reclamation, soul alignment, and deep, embodied healing. That way is potency.

 

What Does It Mean to Be Potent?

Potency is the power of presence. It’s being fully awake, aware, and grounded in your ability to choose who you want to be—even in the face of chaos. It’s not about pretending everything’s okay or spiritually bypassing your pain. It’s about standing in the fire and refusing to burn yourself down.

 

Why Pissed & Passive Don’t Work Long-Term

Pissed:

Feels powerful in the moment—but drains your energyCreates more chaos in relationships and often leads to regretKeeps you stuck in blame, unable to move forward

Passive:

Avoids confrontation—but silences your truthFeels safe—but leads to resentment and disconnectionDisempowers you from getting what you actually want

Neither is wrong. They’re normal trauma responses. But they aren’t sustainable. And they don’t lead to healing.

 

How to Cultivate Potency Instead

Here are five real steps you can take, starting today, to embody potency instead of reacting from pain.

1. Breathe First, Act Later

Potency requires pause. When you feel yourself heating up (pissed) or shutting down (passive), take a breath. Just one deep breath to connect your body and mind can shift you into awareness. Potent women respond, they don’t react.

Try this: Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat 3 times.

2. Name What You’re Feeling Without Becoming It

You can be furious without being a furious person. You can be hurt without collapsing into helplessness. Potency is saying: “Right now, I feel intense grief and anger” instead of unconsciously acting from those emotions.

Pro tip: Use the phrase “Part of me feels…” to give yourself space and perspective.

3. Claim Your Identity—Before the World Does

When you’re stuck in pain, it’s easy to let the betrayal define you. But you get to decide: Who do I want to be in this moment? Who do I want to be remembered as?

Journal Prompt: If my gravestone said “She was…”, what would I want it to say?

4. Take the Next Kindest Step

Potency doesn’t mean you have to solve everything at once. It means you stay conscious. What’s the next kindest thing you can do—for yourself, your body, your soul? Sometimes it’s setting a boundary. Sometimes it’s eating a meal. Sometimes it’s taking a walk.

Mantra: “I don’t need to fix everything. I only need to choose my next step.”

5. Choose Who You Are Becoming—Daily

Potency is a practice. It’s the sacred art of aligning with your highest self, again and again, even when you fall. It’s not about perfection. It’s about power, presence, and possibility.

Ask yourself: How would the future me—the healed, sovereign, radiant version of me—respond right now?

Remember This:

You didn’t choose the betrayal, but you do get to choose what you make of it.

You can choose to be pissed. You can choose to be passive. Or you can choose to be potent. To rise. To love. To lead yourself forward with grace, grit, and soul.

And when you do? That’s where the magic lives.

Listen to the full podcast HERE.

Ready to break free from the pain and step into your potent self? Download your FREE Betrayal Recovery Toolkit: www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.comBook your Breakthrough Session: www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com

 

#PotentNotPissed #BetrayalRecovery #EmotionalHealing #LifeAfterAffair #FLAUNTwithLora #InfidelitySupport #SpiritualHealing #ChoosePotency

 

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