Marc Lesser's Blog, page 21

3 Leadership and Life Lessons in the Midst of Coronavirus

Winston Churchill had three directives, which were essentially leadership lessons for his team during some of the most horrific events of the early parts of World War II. They are mentioned in an NPR interview with Eric Larson about his book, The Splendid and the Vile. Churchill’s three lessons grabbed my attention, in part because of their relevance to the work I’m doing now with teams and leaders, and also as a reflection on how to live and respond in these strange, unpredictable, and challenging times.

The 3 lessons are:

Don’t sugar coat. People are dying in cities and countries, around the world. Often people are dying alone, without the usual care and closeness that we might hope for around death. We don’t know how this pandemic will unfold. We don’t know how long we will be “social distancing.” Some estimates are between two and eight months. 

The economy is upside down, with millions of people out of work and a worldwide recession unfolding. I could go on, but you get the picture. Things are bad. Let’s not pretend they aren’t.

Practice cautious optimism. There are many reasons to be hopeful. There are ways that people are opening, slowing down, going deeper within, and taking care of each other. There are the daily heroic acts of health care workers, the people keeping the food and energy supplies going, and on and on, with many people risking their lives to serve. We humans are amazingly resilient.

We will make it through this time, and hopefully learn some important and valuable lessons. Maybe there will be some positive changes at many different levels – in our health care systems, in reducing inequality, and in engaging with solutions for climate change.

Engage with purpose and meaning. We are all in this together. This virus is the great leveler. Difficult, painful situations have a way of focusing the mind and the heart on what really matters: people helping and supporting one another.

During times like this, we can experience the possibility of transforming suffering into awakening, through our selflessness and the realization of just how impermanent and fleeting everything is. It’s one thing to say that “life is short” but how might we embody and live with the sense of great appreciation for our lives, and all life?

What can each of us do? 

We can look at what is happening as fully and directly as possible, without sugarcoating.
We can look for silver linings, for possibilities, with cautious optimism.
We can pay attention to the wide and deep container of purpose and meaning, in our own lives, in our families, in our organizations, and on a global level.

One of my favorite dialogues these days is a conversation from the 13th century in China where Zen teacher Dogen asked the head cook of a monastery:

What is practice? (Which I translate as, “What does it mean to be a full, awake human being?”)

The head cook responded, “Nothing in the universe is hidden.”  

These three lessons from Winston Churchill are a way to practice not hiding anything – whether it’s pain, possibility, or meaning.

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How to Show Up to Your Life When Nothing is Ordinary

I’ve been studying an essay written by Dogen, the founder of Soto Zen in Japan during the 14th century called “Instructions To The Head Cook.” It was meant to instruct, inspire, and guide head cooks in monastery kitchens. However, his writing could very well have been titled, “Instructions for dealing with uncertainty, with climate change, inequality, and with the Coronavirus,” or “Instructions for how to live our lives, however we might find them.”

Here are just a few instructions from this essay:

Pay attention to the details.
Be thorough. Slow down.
Know what is needed and what is in the way.
Encourage yourself with complete sincerity.
Do not assume another person’s functions or neglect your own duties.
Those who had shortcomings yesterday can act correctly today.
Who can know what is sacred and what is ordinary?
Put what is suited to a high place in a high place and what belongs in a low place in a low place.
Let go of comparing mind.
Do not see with ordinary eyes and do not think with ordinary mind.

This last instruction – do not see with ordinary eyes and do not think with ordinary mind – is one of the potential gifts of this time. Suddenly, nothing is ordinary. We have the opportunity to appreciate the ordinary from a new perspective. This includes sunsets, clouds, and flowers, as well as how we see and relate to the people around us. And it includes our patterns and how we ordinarily respond to any form of discomfort.

When you are feeling pressured or uncomfortable, do you ordinarily have a bias for action, or a bias for worry and fear? If this is the case you might explore trying on a bias for connection, a bias for savoring the ordinary, a bias turning the ordinary into the sacred.

At the conclusion of this essay Dogen says:

“In performing your duties you should maintain joyful mind, grandmother mind, and great mind.”

This is a somewhat practical, and sophisticated concept – that we can bring a particular view, attitude, and a particular “mind” to our activities, regardless of the circumstances, and right in the midst of whatever condition we find ourselves in.

The mind of joy is the mind that appreciates everything. What does joy feel like in the body? Thich Nhat Hanh suggests sitting with a half smile, to slightly lift the edges of our lips, not as a way to avoid or suppress pain and difficulty, but to practice joy, no matter what the situation.

Grandmother mind is the mind of acceptance and unconditional love.

Great mind is like a great mountain or a great ocean, the feeling of returning home. The mind that embodies impermanence – that this breath is new, has never happened before and won’t again. It’s the mind of great belonging. Great mind is the mind that cuts through the illusion of separateness.

We are all the head cooks in this kitchen that we call our work, our relationships, our lives. Let’s all work together with whatever ingredients we have, with wholehearted sincerity, with joyful mind, with grandmother mind, and with great mind.

The post How to Show Up to Your Life When Nothing is Ordinary appeared first on Marc Lesser.

Finding Ground Within Groundlessness

I wrote this “manifesto” of 35 lines, many years ago as a summary to my first book, Z.B.A. Zen of Business Administration, a book about integrating mindfulness practice with work. I’m surprised how well it seems to fit these current times and the practice of finding our ground within the groundless. Let’s stay connected, in the midst of social distancing.

1. It’s okay not to know. It’s okay to be vulnerable. No one has all the answers. We value and learn from the questions and the asking.

2. We are learning to appreciate the mystery and sacredness of our lives and the mystery and sacredness of life.

3. Life is short. There is no escape from old age, sickness, and death. Death is a great teacher. Recognizing the shortness of our lives provides motivation to live fully in each day and in each moment.

4. We understand the importance of taking regular quiet time for ourselves. Through reflection and by slowing down we develop an appreciation for life and we increase our capacity for understanding.

5. We are learning to trust our inner wisdom. Our bodies and minds are amazing, unexplainable, and unfathomable.

6. It’s okay to be uneasy, to be uncomfortable, to grieve, to feel pain. Recognizing when something is off, feeling the depth of loss, experiencing pain, is the first step toward change and growth.

7. Practice active listening — listening deeply to yourself and to others. Listen to others without formulating your own ideas. Listen to yourself before speaking.

8. We all seek balance in our lives — balancing work and family, balancing our inner and outer lives, balancing what we want to do and what we must do.

9. We are learning that we can be fully ourselves in all situations — at work, as parents, as children, as friends, as lovers.

10. Being ourselves at work is vital to our health and happiness. Our time is too valuable to sell, at any price.

11. Each moment is precious. In every moment we have an opportunity to discover, to grow, to speak the truth.

12. Each moment is ordinary. In every moment we can realize we are fine, just as we are. Nothing else is needed.

13. We appreciate what is paradoxical. What may at first seem contradictory or beyond our understanding may be true. After all, who is it that is breathing? Who is it that dreams? How is it that these hands effortlessly glide along this keyboard?

14. Age is a state of mind. We have the opportunity to grow to be more like ourselves every day.

15. Developing intimate relationships is a vital part of our lives and our development. Intimacy requires openness, honesty, and vulnerability.

16. Real, honest open communication is highly valued — and takes real skill and effort.

17. When we slow down and learn to trust ourselves, joy arises naturally.

18. When we slow down and learn to trust ourselves, creativity arises naturally.

19. Self-knowledge and understanding require persistence and perseverance. Developing awareness and balance is an ongoing, unending process.

20. Self-knowledge and understanding require discipline. Whatever path we take requires structure, guidelines, and feedback.

21. Self-knowledge and understanding require courage.

22. Diversity is essential. Our differences enrich our lives. There is no “other”, just as our right hand is not a stranger to our left hand.

23. A simple rule to follow is do good, avoid harm. Of course, this is not simple or easy.

24. There are many paths and many practices toward developing awareness and personal growth.

25. Our everyday lives and activities provide fertile ground for developing growth and understanding.

26. We can learn to appreciate the gifts we’ve received from our parents and to forgive them. We understand on a deep level all we have received from the generations that have come before us.

27. We feel a deep responsibility for our children and for the generations that will come after us.

28. We can all act as change agents. We can choose to take action in improving and healing our environment and our society. There is no shortage of issues to address, of healing to take place.

29. We are all change agents on a personal level — we either create healing amongst those we live and work with or we create stress.

30. We can choose to act as change agents in relation to our communities.

31. We can choose to act as change agents in relation to our society or on a global level.

33. At a deep level, we realize that we are neither in control nor not in control. Our task is to paddle the boat, with awareness and integrity. The flow of the river is outside our doing.

34. We all have the power to find peace and happiness in the midst of change and impermanence.

35. We have the power to heal ourselves, our communities, and our planet.

I’ve also created an 8-minute guided meditation, called Finding Ground Within Groundlessness. I hope you find it useful.

The post Finding Ground Within Groundlessness appeared first on Marc Lesser.

Audio: Finding Ground Within Groundlessness Meditation

In this 8-minute guided meditation, we learn the practice of being awake and joyful with whatever might be happening and finding our ground with each breath, with each exhale.

The post Audio: Finding Ground Within Groundlessness Meditation appeared first on Marc Lesser.

Finding Ground Within Groundlessness

In this 8-minute guided meditation, we learn the practice of being awake and joyful with whatever might be happening and finding our ground with each breath, with each exhale.

The post Finding Ground Within Groundlessness appeared first on Marc Lesser.

7 Ways to Transform Fear

It’s not difficult to notice the amount of fear that is arising during these most unusual and challenging times. Fear can be a useful ally. It can focus us, keep us safe, even at times keep us alive. Fear of illness or injury can motivate us to stop smoking, to exercise, and to eat healthier food. In our communities, it can motivate us to make our air and water cleaner, our bridges and levees stronger, our workplaces safer.

Fear can also be an enormous hindrance. Fear can color our world so that a stick can appear as a dangerous snake or an offer of friendship can be perceived as an imposition or even an attack. We can fear not getting promoted or losing our jobs; fear what people think about us, or fear that people aren’t thinking at all about us. We can fear the loss of a loved one, fear getting older, fear dying. The list of possible fears is almost endless, so it is not surprising that, sometimes without being aware of it, our actions and decisions can become ruled by fear. Living with fear can become an accepted and habitual way of being, leading to thoughts and actions that create more fear in a difficult-to-stop chain reaction — in ourselves, in relationships, in businesses and organizations, and in the world.

When we are afraid, our first impulse is to tighten our bodies and shut down our minds. We become the opposite of receptive and playful, and this is an enormous hindrance to learning new skills in the workplace, to collaborating, and to making interpersonal connections. The impulse to tighten can become so deeply ingrained that we may not even be aware of the ways that we keep ourselves back, or of the subtle and not-so-subtle ways that we communicate our fears to others.

Reducing fear (and its physical manifestation, anxiety) and opening oneself to new possibilities — surprises, even — is the first step, I believe, toward a more lasting sense of meaning and equanimity. Reducing fear can be the first action that frees us to achieve a goal (even when, in losing our fear, our goal becomes something very different than previously imagined).

To reduce fear, however, it’s important to acknowledge and become aware of our fears. I’ve noticed that this process of increasing awareness of fear is strangely freeing. This can allow wholly new approaches or solutions to appear.

Fear is like the “gunk” or rust that clogs our minds and our bodies, the perfect and beautiful engines we were born with. In our current world of more-faster-better, it can be difficult to see and feel the pervasive influences of fear. Transforming fear is not a one-time thing, either; we must develop ongoing strategies and habits to continually lessen it.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to take time at the beginning of each day to simply appreciate being alive — time with no expectations, time with absolutely nothing to accomplish, time outside of your judgments? Imagine just appreciating your breath and your body, being open and aware of the magnificence and mystery of your human existence. Imagine just observing and being curious about the thoughts, problems, emotions, and complex stories that make up your “I.” Isn’t this an experience of the opposite of fear?

Some practices that can help us transform fear:

Change the pace: Slow down. Structure a day, or part of a day, where the focus is on paying attention to yourself and your surroundings when you have nothing to accomplish. Leave your cell phone behind.

New perspective: If possible, go on a retreat away from your office space and home space. Be in a place that is less familiar and where you are less apt to feel the pull of everyday tasks and usual routines. Quiet and spaciousness are a beautiful thing.

Get to know your monkey mind: Don’t be surprised or discouraged if you notice how busy and noisy your mind is when you remove distractions. Use your meditation and mindfulness practices; come back to your breath and body.

Find your center: Notice that you are more than your stories. In the busyness of life, you can easily become fooled into believing that the stories you tell about yourself are you, and that they absolutely define you. As your mind becomes more quiet, you gain access to your still, undefinable center. You glimpse the ways you create these stories about yourself, about others, and about the world.

Refresh and renew: Allow yourself to step (or more accurately, drop) into a place of not knowing, of uncertainty, of joy and refreshment. See if you can just appreciate everything you are, even your doubts and discomfort; just appreciate being alive.

Blend the mundane and the sacred: See and appreciate the immensity and sacredness of all existence and at the same time see the mundane need to eat, wash the dishes, sweep the floors, and clean the counters.

Let go of expectations: Just stop. Sit. Let go of the routines and activities of your life. Don’t expect anything. Be curious. Be open. Let yourself be surprised. As with meditation, you can’t do a retreat “right” or “wrong.” Don’t get caught in comparing your experience to anyone else’s. Of course, you will judge; you will compare. Pay attention to this. “Ah, isn’t this judging and comparing interesting?”

A mind that has any form of fear cannot, obviously, have the quality of love, sympathy, tenderness. Fear is the destructive energy in man.

— J. Krishnamurti

The post 7 Ways to Transform Fear appeared first on Marc Lesser.

6 Ways to Transform Fear

It’s not difficult to notice the amount of fear that is arising during these most unusual and challenging times. Fear can be a useful ally. It can focus us, keep us safe, even at times keep us alive. Fear of illness or injury can motivate us to stop smoking, to exercise, and to eat healthier food. In our communities, it can motivate us to make our air and water cleaner, our bridges and levees stronger, our workplaces safer.

Fear can also be an enormous hindrance. Fear can color our world so that a stick can appear as a dangerous snake or an offer of friendship can be perceived as an imposition or even an attack. We can fear not getting promoted or losing our jobs; fear what people think about us, or fear that people aren’t thinking at all about us. We can fear the loss of a loved one, fear getting older, fear dying. The list of possible fears is almost endless, so it is not surprising that, sometimes without being aware of it, our actions and decisions can become ruled by fear. Living with fear can become an accepted and habitual way of being, leading to thoughts and actions that create more fear in a difficult-to-stop chain reaction — in ourselves, in relationships, in businesses and organizations, and in the world.

When we are afraid, our first impulse is to tighten our bodies and shut down our minds. We become the opposite of receptive and playful, and this is an enormous hindrance to learning new skills in the workplace, to collaborating, and to making interpersonal connections. The impulse to tighten can become so deeply ingrained that we may not even be aware of the ways that we keep ourselves back, or of the subtle and not-so-subtle ways that we communicate our fears to others.

Reducing fear (and its physical manifestation, anxiety) and opening oneself to new possibilities — surprises, even — is the first step, I believe, toward a more lasting sense of meaning and equanimity. Reducing fear can be the first action that frees us to achieve a goal (even when, in losing our fear, our goal becomes something very different than previously imagined).

To reduce fear, however, it’s important to acknowledge and become aware of our fears. I’ve noticed that this process of increasing awareness of fear is strangely freeing. This can allow wholly new approaches or solutions to appear.

Fear is like the “gunk” or rust that clogs our minds and our bodies, the perfect and beautiful engines we were born with. In our current world of more-faster-better, it can be difficult to see and feel the pervasive influences of fear. Transforming fear is not a one-time thing, either; we must develop ongoing strategies and habits to continually lessen it.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to take time at the beginning of each day to simply appreciate being alive — time with no expectations, time with absolutely nothing to accomplish, time outside of your judgments? Imagine just appreciating your breath and your body, being open and aware of the magnificence and mystery of your human existence. Imagine just observing and being curious about the thoughts, problems, emotions, and complex stories that make up your “I.” Isn’t this an experience of the opposite of fear?

Some practices that can help us transform fear:

Change the pace: Slow down. Structure a day, or part of a day, where the focus is on paying attention to yourself and your surroundings when you have nothing to accomplish. Leave your cell phone behind.

New perspective: If possible, go on a retreat away from your office space and home space. Be in a place that is less familiar and where you are less apt to feel the pull of everyday tasks and usual routines. Quiet and spaciousness are a beautiful thing.

Get to know your monkey mind: Don’t be surprised or discouraged if you notice how busy and noisy your mind is when you remove distractions. Use your meditation and mindfulness practices; come back to your breath and body.

Find your center: Notice that you are more than your stories. In the busyness of life, you can easily become fooled into believing that the stories you tell about yourself are you, and that they absolutely define you. As your mind becomes more quiet, you gain access to your still, undefinable center. You glimpse the ways you create these stories about yourself, about others, and about the world.

Refresh and renew: Allow yourself to step (or more accurately, drop) into a place of not knowing, of uncertainty, of joy and refreshment. See if you can just appreciate everything you are, even your doubts and discomfort; just appreciate being alive.

Blend the mundane and the sacred: See and appreciate the immensity and sacredness of all existence and at the same time see the mundane need to eat, wash the dishes, sweep the floors, and clean the counters.

Let go of expectations: Just stop. Sit. Let go of the routines and activities of your life. Don’t expect anything. Be curious. Be open. Let yourself be surprised. As with meditation, you can’t do a retreat “right” or “wrong.” Don’t get caught in comparing your experience to anyone else’s. Of course, you will judge; you will compare. Pay attention to this. “Ah, isn’t this judging and comparing interesting?”

A mind that has any form of fear cannot, obviously, have the quality of love, sympathy, tenderness. Fear is the destructive energy in man.

— J. Krishnamurti

The post 6 Ways to Transform Fear appeared first on Marc Lesser.

Staying Grounded in a Chaotic World

I met up with some friends recently and not surprisingly, the primary concerns and topics of conversation were “the virus,” politics, and climate change. There were also conversations of inequality, nuclear weapons, and the stock market. Someone asked me, “How do you manage to stay grounded and even hopeful in the midst of the current challenges and chaos?”

I immediately thought of a few lines from an ancient Zen text that say:

If you can get upside down with this world,

then you can practice discernment and clear seeing,

and be responsive, as well as provide comfort.

Anytime I read these lines I have the image of being at the births of my son and my daughter. As they were born into this world, I watched as they arrived, upside down. Yet, there was a part of them that was still connected to the world before birth, a mysterious place beyond words and beyond form. In many ways this connection to another world felt just as vital as our mutual existence on Earth. When we are not distracted by all of the world’s busyness, this connection to a world beyond what we usually view as “our world” informs and colors everything else.

These lines also remind me of being with my mother as she was dying, many years ago, lying on my living room couch. I was breathing with her slowly, seeing how completely present she was with each breath and at the same time I could feel her body and mind begin to travel, begin to pass through from the world of life to another world. Her last exhale was deep, full and strong, and then not another inhale. Again, I felt this deep connection to the world beyond, outside of this world. Again, the world of cell phones and social media dropped away.

So, how can we stay grounded amidst the chaos? Practice! To practice is to realize and do our best to engage with birth and death, to see our lives beyond ideas and labels of success and failure, to live our lives beyond fear, beyond greed and relentless distractions. The practice is to “get upside down with this world” – that is, see yourself and the world from the perspective of birth and death, from the perspective of awe and wonder; right here and right now. Perhaps our usual world, of constant striving, is actually upside down?

In mindfulness practice we aspire to be aware, to be alert and alive to what is happening in our bodies and minds. Sometimes we are just upside down – confused, flailing, worrying, stressed – caught in the issues of this chaotic world. And sometimes we find ourselves grounded, generous, alive, here.

Mindfulness practice includes letting go of wanting the world to be a certain way. It’s the practice of seeing more clearly, and with this clear presence, we can help others to be more comfortable in this upside down world.

It’s strange and paradoxical that when we are turned upside down we can we see more clearly and take care of others. How do we take care of ourselves, and our family, community, and country, particularly in times of great difficulty and change, when our government is acting in a way that is impossible to understand and threatens the peace and well-being of the planet?

These few words from the Zen tradition point to finding real freedom, seeing and acting beyond our usual conditioning and habits, beyond our fears and paranoia. Through being comfortable with being upside down, we open the possibility of understanding, compassion, and freedom.

Giving comfort means to express our gratitude and love, even in this crazy, mixed up world. It’s our world. Our job is to show up, stay open, and live with as much wonder as we can.

Here is a poem by 13th century Persian poet Hafiz, about staying sane in the midst of a chaotic world:

Someone Should Start Laughing

I have a thousand brilliant lies

For the question:

How are you?

I have a thousand brilliant lies

For the question:

What is God?

If you think that the Truth can be known

From words,

If you think that the Sun and the Ocean

Can pass through that tiny opening

Called the mouth,

O someone should start laughing!

Someone should start wildly laughing—

Now!

To practice: Next time you feel surrounded by chaos, allow yourself to be upside down, right-side up, confused, and in a state of appreciation and wonder, all at once.

When the time is right, laugh, cry, dance, connect.

See if you can be a comfort for others who may be struggling also.

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Are you taking the time to savor each moment?

There is an old story of a man riding very fast on a horse. As he rides past his friend standing on the side of the road, the friend yells, “Where are you going?” The rider turns toward his friend and yells, “I don’t know, ask the horse!”

The pace and intensity of our lives, both at work and at home, leave many of us feeling like that person riding that frantically galloping horse. Our daily incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time; the pressure to produce and tick off items on our to-do list by each day’s end — seems to decide the direction and quality of our existence for us. But if we approach our days in a different way, we can consciously change this out-of-control pattern. It only requires the courage to do less. This may sound easy, but doing less can actually be very hard. Too often we mistakenly believe that doing less makes us lazy and results in a lack of productivity. Instead, doing less helps us savor what we do accomplish. We learn to do less of what is extraneous, and engage in fewer self-defeating behaviors, so we craft a productive life that we truly feel good about.

Just doing less for its own sake can be simple, startling, and transformative. Imagine having a real and unhurried conversation in the midst of an unrelenting workday with someone you care about. Imagine completing one discrete task at a time and feeling calm and happy about it. Imagine as you wake up in the morning your first activity is to feel and express appreciation and love for being alive, for your relationships, for the air and sunshine.

Every life has great meaning, but the meaning of our own can often be obscured by the fog of constant activity and plain bad habits. Recognize and change these, and we can again savor deeply the ways we contribute to the workplace, enjoy the sweetness of our lives, and share openly and generously with the ones we love. Less busyness leads to appreciating the sacredness of life. Doing less leads to more love, more effectiveness and internal calmness, and a greater ability to accomplish more of what matters most — to us, and by extension to others and the world.

In a talk by Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki he proposes that the purpose of our lives is to cross over from being discontent to finding real acceptance, appreciation, and freedom. He goes on to say that the secret is to make this shift, from suffering to freedom, with every step, or with every breath. I find this to be a beautiful, radical, and simple idea – it’s the practice of savoring each moment of our lives. It’s the practice of doing less of what is extra and more of what really matters.

To practice: What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? If you generally check messages, experiment with a different activity. Perhaps, writing in a journal what you most appreciate or what you find most challenging. Or experiment with sitting quietly, being curious about your breath, body, feelings, and thoughts.

Explore taking a few mini “savor the moment” breaks throughout your day. Go for a 10 minute walk. Read some poetry. Have a real conversation.

Notice what is underneath the compulsion to do more, to always be electronically connected. How much of this activity is based on some version of fear – fear of failure, of missing out, or just fear of a sense of aloneness or emptiness. Explore being curious, not judging, and learning from becoming more familiar with intentions and motivations. Start by doing less…

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Webinar: A Mindful Society

In this hour-long webinar, hosted by A Mindful Society, Marc Lesser discusses the Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader with Michele Milan. They talk about how busyness is often used to cover our discomfort with the gaps between what actually is and what we aspire to do or create. Marc explains how meditation allows us to “hit the reset button” and start from zero to approach situations with clarity. Attendees’ questions are answered at the end of the webinar. Watch here.

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