Marc Lesser's Blog, page 22

Webinar: Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader hosted by A Mindful Society

In this hour-long webinar, hosted by A Mindful Society, Marc Lesser discusses the Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader with Michele Milan. They talk about how busyness is often used to cover our discomfort of the gaps between what actually is and what we inspire to do or create. Marc explains how meditation allows us to “hit the reset button” and start from zero to approach situations with clarity. Attendees’ questions are answered at the end of the webinar. Watch the video here.

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Inclusiveness: The Practice of Opening Hearts and Minds

It can be challenging knowing when to be patient and when to be impatient, when to be still and when to take action. I sometimes think that both patience and impatience are highly under-rated skills. One of my favorite quotes, from Kaz Tanahashi, a renowned calligrapher and translator is: “If you learn to enjoy waiting, you don’t need to wait to enjoy.” I remind myself of this when stuck in traffic or while on a long, slow line at the grocery store. It’s also helpful any time I find myself being uncomfortable with the pace of projects I’m working on, or any time I find it challenging to be more still.

The shadow side of patience can be avoiding conflict or difficulty. Sometimes under the guise of practicing patience, it can be a cover for not speaking up, for not taking the risk of being direct, or being vulnerable when it’s useful or important to do so. Sometimes it’s skillful and appropriate to practice impatience (for example, when it comes to responding to climate change, impatience is a to the point response).

Patience is a core practice and teaching in the Zen tradition though Vietnamese Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh prefers to use the word inclusiveness as a substitute. The word inclusiveness has a very different flavor; it has more depth and weight to it. The practice of inclusiveness means to not leave anything out, to see and feel from a wide, open perspective.

Inclusiveness is the practice of keeping our hearts open, especially when we feel stressed or challenged, or when reality is not aligning with our vision and expectations. Inclusiveness means questioning whatever story we tell ourselves, and realizing that our story might not be the only one. The following five practices are generally thought of as ways to practice patience; they also work well for developing greater inclusiveness:

Turning toward difficulty – I’ve created many more problems in my life, especially as a leader by not turning toward conflict and difficulty. I find this to be an important and ongoing practice, both for myself and with many of the leaders I work with.

Perseverance, staying with it – cultivating healthy relationships takes lots of staying power. Relationships are messy. Conflict and being uncomfortable comes with the territory.

Acceptance of what is true – this means noticing when our hopes and expectations don’t align with what is. It doesn’t mean giving up on our dreams, it just means facing what is true.

Not acting hastily – this is an easy practice to name and a challenging one to do! It means moving more slowly when difficult emotions arise.

Forgiveness – this is such an important practice at work, in leadership, and in all parts of our lives. We can start with forgiving ourselves for not being patient or inclusive enough. And then moving toward forgiving others, and starting fresh when possible. This works a lot better than entertaining anger and/or blame.

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Interview: The Primalosophy Podcast

Marc Lesser speaks with Nick Holderbaum on The Primalosophy Podcast about integrating mindfulness in the workplace, the use of formal structures as a way of cultivating a more flexible mind, and bringing meditation practice into everything you do. You can listen to the conversation below.

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Just Say “Yes” – Why Making Wholehearted Commitments Feels Great

During a session of a Mindful Non-Profit Leadership Program I co-teach, I learned a new improv game that has had a surprising impact on my life. It has shown me how easy it is to not be fully committed to the choices I make. It has also helped me to see those choices and tendencies more clearly and ultimately, to commit more fully.

It’s a simple game. It goes like this. One person, at random in the group, proposes an activity, with confidence: “Let’s go ice skating!” Everyone in the group responds with enthusiasm, “Yes, lets!” Then, each person fully commits to the activity, imagining and embodying the act of ice skating as fully as possible, for fifteen or twenty seconds. Then another person steps up and proposes a different activity, “Let’s blow out the birthday cake candles.” Again, each person in the group responds, saying wholeheartedly, “Yes, lets!” Followed by acting out blowing out the birthday candles… Usually there is much laughter. Everyone gets to notice their own resistance and at the same time how good and freeing it feels to not resist, to completely go with the idea, even when it’s not your idea and may be somewhat outside your comfort zone.

After one of the sessions, a friend asked if I wanted to go for a walk. Without hesitating, I responded, “Yes, lets!” My response and enthusiasm was surprising (even to me!), and I explained the context and the game to my friend. Normally, I may have said yes to the offer to go for a walk but it might not have been a wholehearted yes. Instead, I might have been thinking of the work I could have been doing, or the rest I could have been taking, or other possible ways to use that time. My “yes” would not have been nearly as enthusiastic and resistance-free. My friend and I laughed about my response of “Yes, lets!” It felt really good and uplifting to choose to be so wholehearted, and my enthusiasm about spending time with my friend made them feel good too.

It is easy to “cover our bets” whether consciously or unconsciously. It is easy to not be fully committed to the work we are doing, to our relationships, or to any activity. I believe that embedded in the definition of mindfulness practice is our ability to have multiple perspectives, and at the same time to choose, making these choices with our full selves, and with our whole hearts.

Only about a third of workers in the United States feel engaged in their work – a startling statistic indeed. I haven’t seen statistics about lack of engagement in primary relationships, but I suspect these figures would be equally as grim (if you know of any studies on this topic, I’d be interested to see them). It is perhaps easier to choose to not be fully present and engaged with any one person or activity but this lack of commitment can be deadening to our spirits. I suspect that this lack of deep commitment and our reluctance to make more wholehearted choices, in our work lives and relationships, is often connected to our fears, as well as issues of unworthiness or self-doubt, and powerlessness.

The practices of “Yes, lets!” can be surprisingly freeing, empowering, and confidence building. Doing anything wholeheartedly, in fact, can be a refreshing and life-changing practice. Try it yourself and see what you notice!

Here is a five minute guided meditation featuring the practice of wholeheartedness and committing fully. I hope you like it.

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Meditation as a Way of Letting Go

Meditation is many things. There is no right way to meditate. One of my favorite, and I think most powerful, meditation instructions comes from Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki in his classic collection of talks, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. (If you have not read this collection, I highly recommend it. If you have read it, I suggest reading it again.)

One of his meditation instructions is to let go of everything – every thought and every assumption – with each exhale. This includes letting go of the assumption that there will be another inhale following your exhale. It is the practice of giving up everything, giving up all our ideas, and our subtle and not-so-subtle beliefs, with each exhale. Then, when the next inhale arrives, imagine being surprised – “oh, here I am, alive…!”

There is so much to unpack and reflect on in this practice. From a practical perspective, it is a way of enhancing and cultivating our ability to listen to ourselves and to others without making assumptions. Our assumptions can be so highly ingrained that we may be unaware of them. Of course we assume that there will be an inhale following our exhale. We assume we will get up from our meditation practice and continue with our lives, as usual. We assume what others think of us or what our limitations are. This practice is letting go as a way of making space for deep curiosity and wonder about ourselves, others, the world. I think that this practice is key to our personal growth, and for supporting our ability to work through conflicts as well as softening our hearts, especially in the midst of challenges.

This practice is also about learning from change, from impermanence, from how fleeting our lives are. In truth, none of us knows which exhale will be our last. Just reflecting on this reality can be uplifting and inspiring. It helps highlight the question – how do I want to live today? What’s important? How might I be of service?

It’s also about keeping it simple. What happens when you let go of everything with each exhale for a few minutes a day? I find that it takes both focus and courage to stay with this practice, and to come back to it, again and again.

I was recently re-reading the book 21 Lessons for the 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari. The 21st lesson is Meditation. In this chapter, he mentions that he practices meditation for two hours a day and that he could not have written his previous books (both best sellers) Sapiens and Home Deus without his meditation practice. I often share this story when anyone tells me that they don’t have time to meditate.

Here is a 5-minute Letting Go Of Everything meditation. I hope you find it useful.

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Audio: Wholeheartedness Meditation

In this 5-minute guided meditation we’ll practice wholeheartedness and committing fully.

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Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader: A Conversation with Maha Global

Marc Lesser speaks with MAHA Global, sustainable business leaders, about his latest book “Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader” and the importance of empathy in leaders. Marc discusses how businesses are now returning to the idea of ‘humanness’ as a key element of leadership! You can watch the conversation below.

Interested in learning more about the topics Marc addresses in this conversation? Then check out his latest book, Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader, which is out now.

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Audio: Letting Go Meditation

In this 5-minute guided meditation we’ll practice letting go of everything – every thought and every assumption – with each exhale.

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Audio: Letting Go Meditation (5-Minute Meditation)

In this 5-minute guided meditation we’ll practice letting go of everything – every thought and every assumption – with each exhale.

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Five Ways To Accomplish More By Doing Less

Accomplishing more by doing less – who wouldn’t want that!

To accomplish more by doing less involves a simple yet profound transformation: it’s a different way of being in the world. You may, in fact, be no less engaged, but you will be less scattered and distracted, and you may accomplish more of what matters to you, more of what aligns with your deepest purpose and intention, more of what brings you satisfaction and connection with others, more of what you believe really needs to get done. Doing less and accomplishing more is about aligning your actions with your values and your particular passions. By becoming more at peace with yourself, with your self-worth and your ability to choose freely, you will spread that into the world, which will become that much more peaceful and sane as a result.

Here are five practices for doing less and accomplishing more:

1. Take the time to mentally and physically rest in between or outside of your usual activities, perhaps instituting a regular practice of meditation, retreat, breaks, and reflection. If time allows, consider a walking meditation during a lunch break. Meditation can be like a refreshing elixir that hits the reset button on your body and mind, allowing for greater and more leveraged engagement and activity.

2. Practice bringing greater awareness to each activity, and each conversation. Deliberately pause in the midst of activities. This can be as simple as noticing your resistance or lack thereof when engaging a task, or taking a moment to notice the breath in between reading or sending emails.

3. Work on identifying and reducing unnecessary activities. In this case, “unnecessary” means those things that are not in alignment with what you want to accomplish. This is the practice of clarity – doing more of what matters and less of what doesn’t matter.

4. Treat everything as important and take pleasure in it, no matter how mundane the activity. At bottom, whatever we are doing right now is what we are engaged in and it deserves our full attention and appreciation. You do less by the very quality of your doing. This is the practice of being completely present, without sacrificing or rushing, or striving to get to “more important” stuff.

5. Integrate effort with the practice of effortlessness. With practice, we all can find that sweet spot that combines engagement, creativity, and composure. Effort and effortlessness are states of mind, driven by our underlying approach and attitude. Doing what we choose, and doing what has meaning and/or has benefit to others, requires less effort than that which we haven’t fully owned and embraced.

I would propose that we always accomplish more when we approach each moment and task in an open, relaxed, and fully engaged manner – whether leading a meeting, answering emails, or taking our children to school. In this way, our sense of accomplishment depends more on the way we act (which we can control) than on the results (which may be out of our control). No matter the chaos of any particular day, this can become one of our most important and useful aspirations and measures of success.

Experiment by playing with and testing out effort and effortlessness. Notice when you are making just the right amount of effort. Choose any of these five practices and see how this impacts your stress level and your productivity.

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