Priyanka Nair (Joshi)'s Blog, page 30

Quarantine Days – COVID2019

COVID2019 will be remembered by the whole world and soon we all will be talking about how we survived the lethal wave which was capable enough to bring the whole world down, says the optimistic me.

A lot has been said about Coronavirus already so I will not bore with the details neither I have any solid tips to offer as a counter measure to this pendamic.

I am here to express what I have been observing over last 15 days, how myths and rumours spread faster than reality, how we as a society have become ignorant that we bring cultural beliefs and traditions in a scenario which could have been the real picture of epidemic, famine and all the unforseen situations which is buried deep under our ignorant eyes.

Yes this is kalyug (age of downfall) and events like Covid2019 could be a way of reminding us that pal bhar ki bhi hasti nahi hai phir kis cheez ka gurur liye phirte hai hum insaan..some brilliant brats say that this is a conspirancy against U.S, some say it was written in a book ages ago, it was predicted by someone, this is all a political mess, this is nature’s way of reacting to the overload and also some chemical experiment gone wrong and some further inferences..

Now with so much overexposure to the information about COVID2019, just imagine how a reader or listener consumes one and spreads the same. The major culprits are WhatsApp groups and Facebook. People think they are spreading news but majority of them are unknowingly spreading poison in the minds of people being irresponsible netizens, influencing them and taking this whole thing into a different direction.

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I have exit all the whatsapp group to save my sanity and my thought process, all I believe in is applying common sense and not consuming information from unverified sources. Social distancing is the only way to break this chain, each one stay home and break this chain going viral and spreading across nations.

I personally salute all the medical professionals, milkman, maids and other help, they have been extending all the support they can fighting against COVID2019 and we in turn as so-called responsible citizens have stocked all the masks and sanitizers at home for personal use leaving nothing for others. This is how we extend humanity. I have seen myself that a lady had stocked up two polybags of masks for the prevention of her family and I was shocked to see that as the very same day I could not find a single one at the nearest medical shop.

The amount of myths and misinformation is such that people are distancing from someone who is coughing or sneezing even due to allergy or climatic conditions. This leads to mental stress and especially with kids, coughing, sneezing and cold was common even before corona existed but I guess people have forgotten this and they don’t even shy away to make jokes on this critical issue. All the social media platforms are flooded with mindless meme jokes, pulling each other down, political views on Covid2019 and how government could help or could not help. For once I feel we need to act as  responsible individuals/netizens taking care of each other.

I have a six year old daughter, I am not allowing her to play outdoors like other parents and I show her news to make her believe that the problem is for real beause at such tender age they don’t believe in such things because it is hard for them to understand, they feel trapped and restricted.

Looking at the news, she started crying saying that what if everyone will die mama, is it that bad, is it that dangerous to play outside? It was so heart-wrenching to see such a tension in my little one’s mind but I tried to soothe her saying that this will pass only when we choose to stay at home for few days, then another girl at the neighbourhood called and said that if I come to play at your house will police put me in jail? Mama is saying so… All this is affecting each age group in its own way.

Let us pray that that this storm passes with minimal damage and we realise that we are not only here to stay but to make sure that we value our breathes. I hope all my readers/fellow bloggers and friends stay safe, follow social distancing and be responsible netizens. Social distancing is not a big deal for people like us, blogger or writer who have been quaratined for life with their blogging profession but for some it is really difficult to stay at home.

For those, I want to say this is the time may be you were looking for..

You secretly used to wish for this day, a day when you don’t have to get up early,

A day when you can snooze that alarm and sleep a little more..

A day when you can read that half-read book

A day when you can watch your favourite movie or netflix series

A day when you can play with your kids and spend some time with your family..

We never know if in this lifetime we will be at the privilege to stay at home by government orders. 

Trust verified sources only. We will remember this lockdown day someday and realise that we have witnessed something which was never ever thought of. Meanwhile, take care and sending you all socially distanced hugs. I am ending this note on a positive side thinking that things will be fine soon

Ten things I want to do before I turn 40

Things to do before I turn 40, whoa! I am in my early 30s and when I was in my 20s I was not this liberating and adventurous to think about what I want to do before I turn 30, so here I am with a wish list of mine with things to do before I turn 40. Never too late!

Many of you will resonate with me when I say this that real life begins after 30, it is that time of life when we learn few things out of our own experiences and begin to unlearn few things which are by-product of the society and stereotypical beliefs.

In short, we start reasoning, seek purpose, find solace and look out for things which brings out the best in us. I am a little spiritual and peace seeking person. I prefer doing things which could lead me towards peace and calmness.

Things to do before I turn 40

You all must be having a to do list, bucket list or wish list or what ever you may choose to call it. I have made this kind of list many times in my life in past few years and I must acknowledge that everytime I have managed to strikethrough at least two-three wishes. I have been able to live my wishes. I set realistic goals and try to work towards them, so here is my ten things to do before I turn 40 list;

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1.) Learn Guitar

Because I love MUSIC. I use to learn classical music training till I was in my high school, afterwards as the burden of studies increased my hobbies took a back seat. After college my fingers got friendly with guitar and I did a lot of jamming with my friends and soon after getting married now my guitar has just become a  show piece beautifying a corner of my house.

Everytime I look at it I feel so restless and I promise myself that I will get back to it soon, so breathing in between those six strings is one of my dearest wish before I turn 40.

2.) Learn another language

After my marriage I was working with a Multinational Company and since it was a German based compan and in order to greet and strike a healthy relationship with my client base in Germany I had learned basic deutsch, and I realised the importance of learning a foreign language. I am still basic skilled in German and I want to take it a step ahead before I turn 40.

3.) Grab one more Master’s degree

Yeah, this one is my favourite. Besides being an MBA in finance, I am CFA, have done Export Management, DCA and now to educate myself in Mental Health sphere I have done few certification courses in this field too. But something I still crave to go ahead with is a Master’s in Literature, so I am planning to enroll this year.Fingers crossed.

4.) Travel atleast 15 places with my little one (alone)

Recently, our government has introduced Desh Apna Dekho pledge where in to promote national tourism and enable us to become responsible citizen, government has urged to take a pledge to visit atleast 15 places in coming two years and share about it. I have signed the pledge and I wish to travel atleast some place out of my wish list my baby girl.

5.) Invest in my wellness

Because health is wealth. Recently I have been down, weak and very ill. I was even hospitalised for few days due to severe lung infection, my immunity has gone down the drain and I felt dull. I could not work out or take a walk. But I decided to resume yoga as soon I get back my stance.

6.) Ariel yoga

I have been facinated by this form of yoga. No wonder it requires deep connection with the body and core balance but what could be the best way to discover yours inner self. Ariel yoga is my dearest wish in this list.

7.) Prepare for Mount Everest Base Camp

No No, I am not overestimating myself and setting a realistic goals it requires a lot of home work and is subjective to little cost and time in the whole process. I will work out, eat good and train myself before I dare step out to roll out on such a huge adventure spree but isn’t it worth it? Damn! Mount Everest base camp! May be Mount Everest before I turn 50, then? LOL.

8.) Write a book

I have written an eBook last year and I got much love and appreciation for my work and I made it available for free on my website Sanity Daily. At present I am writing poetries and plan to publish it before this year ends but before I turn 40 I want to write a proper book with some valuable and meaningful content, I am building myself so that I will make myself eligible for someone to but my book without much of a publicity. Credibiltiy is hard to earn but it helps you sustain in the long-run.

9.) Buy myself my own house 

Yes OWN house. We have our house but that content and immense satisfaction of buying your own house and setting up a small world of your own is a different feeling altogether and besides that I want to leave as much as I can for my daughter so that she never have to suffer when she will find herself in difficult situations, she should always have a place to go back and seek refuge in.

10.) Insure healthy and secure environment for my child

All the above and this, combined together makes me nothing but a strong willed woman, ready to travel the world with her baby and ready to reckon everything which holds beauty and significance in life. I want to create a healthy and secure environment for my daughter and show her the world which is free from all the patriarchal beliefs. I will invest in making her life-ready and not sasural-ready.

A woman at 34, wishing for so much before she turns 40. But a fair list I guess. In the end, we all have some wishes for ourselves but just like me I am sure many of you keep on postponing it, sometimes because of responsibilites, sometimes because of our priorities but I feel a things to do list should always be there, to remind you that you are allowed to wish, you are allowed to dream another dream and it is when you dream you live and trust me being alive and feeling alive makes all the difference.

Much love and gratitude

~Priyanka

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नीली सियाही

ज़िन्दगी मानों किसी मुफ़लिस की क़बा हो जैसे
जिए जा रहे है किसी की मनकही बद्दुआ जैसे

इस एक उम्र में न जाने कितनी ज़िंदगानी क़ैद है
क्युकी मेरे कदम जब भी थरथराये मेरे वालिदा ने साँसे भरी है मुझमे
ये प्रीत कभी परायी हो ही न सकी क्युकी यहाँ अपना न सका मुझे कोई भी

जहा हाथ छोड़े अपनों ने वहा अपनों का पता चला
जहा साथ छोड़े अपनों ने वह टूटे सपनो का पता मिला
अब मुड़कर देखना ही किसे है
कौन है मेरा इंतज़ार कर रहा..

लौट के जाने की मूराद भी अब तो बाकी नहीं
इस और आते सारे दरवाज़े भी बंद कर डाले मैंने किसी के लौट आने के

अब इस जीवन रूपी मयखाने में बस छलकते है जाम बिखरी हुई नीली सियाही के..
वो कुछ मेरी सुन लेती है और कुछ लफ्ज़ मैं उनसे बुन लेती हु..

-प्रियंका

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Happy Holi!

Sending colorful and beautiful wishes to all my fellow bloggers on this auspicious day of Holi festival. Spread the colors of love and Peace. Happy Holi!!

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Play with organic colors, don’t color your pets or other animals, be a safe foodie and ABOVE ALL, TEACH EVERYONE IN YOUR FAMILY ABOUT CONSENT this Holi. It is the best time to teach this and not blindly allow the Bura Na Mano Holi Hai tag for playing colors indecently with women or throwing balloons on passers-by or for that matter using harmful stuff. NO MEANS NO, teach your guests too! High time we grow up and be the change. Enjoy!! (received as a message and found it worth sharing)

 

Much love and gratitude

Priyanka

#virtualsiyahi

 

 

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The Woman That I Am at 30 Something

Life of a woman at 30 could be all about family, kids, career challenges, relationships, heartaches, bodyaches (haye meri kamar), responsibilites and all those end number of ups and downs. While I sail in the same boat like all the other women, I have also discovered that my life in my 30s has become more liberating and adventurous.

Woman in India are a baggage of expectations which they carry and pass it generation to generation. Humne kiya tum bhi karo, humne saha tum bhi saho wala the very famous baggage. 

In this blog, and in lieu of International women’s day, I would present an unapologetic and the most unsanskari version of me. Life of woman who can raise her voice and who doesn’t belives in the paleolithic ways. I am learning to unlearn all the things I belived while I grew up. So join me all the womaniyas out here

Soulful Saturday- Life Quote

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Much love and gratitude

Priyanka

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A Perfect Day Of An Imperfect Mother- Picture Blog

A day of a mother. How do you think we spend our days? Watching saas-bahu drama or actually indulging in it? Gossiping? Spending time at social media or simply lazying around and doing nothing?

Women are always judged on their abilities on the basis of set standards. You are a good wife if you cook good food, keep your house clean and well-organized. You are a good mother if your kids are well-behaved and well-groomed. All the wows and hows are restricted to the woman of the house. Forget about the societal norms and judgment a mother or wife goes through in her entire life. So ladies, on a funny note, let’s give a hilarious twist to our day and have a good laugh at our flawsomeness.

This blog is entirely dedicated to all the mothers who manage all their day to day chores and make it a point to spend some quality time with their kids. A day of a mother could vary from mother to mother. Yes! Some are staying at home moms while some are working, but I am sure every mom tries her best to take out some time to cuddle and pamper her child, and that is what strengthens the relationship of both,  isn’t it?

A Day of a Mother at Glance

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Our perfect day starts usually around 6:00 am with the rhetorical line uth jao beta school jana hai, naha lo beta to kha lo beta.. This is how even I start my day and my beta usually gets up after half an hour of my morning raga. I try to hug her, wake her up with a smile and kiss her so that she starts a day with a positive note. The day when she throws tantrum and doesn’t want to have a bath or finish her milk is the day when I get pissed off and feel bad of not treating her well that morning, that sadness remains with me the entire day and I wait for her to come home so that I can hug her.

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Main ghar aagya, the very famous line of our beloved (pun intended) Nobita (Doraemon) is the line my daughter says when she arrives home from school and then begins the drama. What have you got for snacks, oh daily same snacks, from all the available things in the kitchen she would ask for something which is not available in the house and then I am the bad mama who doesn’t keep stock of her favorite things. A day of a mother.Sigh..

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Mom, what are you doing, can we play UNO? Can I comb your hair? Can you play Monopoly with me, she attacks me with her list of game ideas. Sometimes when she is not in the mood and wants to watch her favorite T.V. shows, she allows me to work, yes she is too kind actually ( no pun intended) on my laptop but I have to sit right beside her. Mama, you sit here with me, you work and I will watch T.V., she says.

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Then comes the D Day, Holiday. Perils of moms who work from home are never considered to be like a working mom, especially moms who have taken blogging or freelancing work as their career path are not even considered as working at all. They are someone who is always online, posting things on social media and then judgment like who takes care of the kid? How she manages her house and all? So basically we lose all the social contact and yet juggle and struggle a lot to take out some peaceful time to sit with our thoughts and laptop to pen (type) down something and when it is a holiday we even sacrifice our sleep so that we do not disturb our child’s routine. We maintain the pyramid, see.

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The reward: I was working full-time even after Ishaanvi was born and it is only from three years I gave up my job and found my IKIGAI in Blogging world, ever since I have been moving ahead in the career path I have choosen for myself for two reasons: My daughter and my daughter. Many of my friends and relatives criticised me saying that I should have been working but my daughter needed me in her growth years and meanwhile, I discovered a new path for myself, most importantly, my daughter is happy to see her mother by her side at her every step.

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We spent a lot of wonderful time, we fight, we argue, we laugh, we play, we read, we write and we dream together. As I grow as a mother daily, I have discovered that I am raising a human being who I am not supposed to control or command. While raising a human in her, I just want a friend and want to travel places along with her. With this thought, I start and end my day.

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In the end, I would say that there are days when I feel extremely low or I don’t feel like playing or having fun and I tell her that mama is not feeling good today, I even cry in front of her because I want her to believe that staying strong is not the only acceptable norm, you can be weak, you can be strong, you can laugh, you can cry and I intend to make her accept all the beauty and flaws of life. We bloom as mother daughter in our imperfections and manage to smile in every situation. She even meditates and does yoga with me, we end our day over bargaining a glass of milk over a story or a ten-minute mobile game.

This is how motherhood looks to me and for many mothers. A day of a mother is full of flaws, adjustments, priorities, decision-making, sacrifices, and learning. No mother is perfect and I feel it should be the way it is, the day we feel we have become perfect we will stop growing and close the doors of new options/learnings in our life which will take away the child in us forever.

Much love and gratitude

Priyanka and Ishaanvi

How To Support Your Husband Under Stress?

How to support your husband under stress? How to help him overcome this situation? How can you as his partner help in making things smooth and easy for him?

Men are always expected to be strong and tough, but with the daily struggle to keep everything in place and meet the ends, they too undergo deep stress. As they are considered stronger species, they cannot even express their true feelings and their emotional vulnerability.

You can start by letting him know that it is ok to get tired and it is normal to not be able to meet all the set goals. Let us discuss a few further handy measures in this blog.

How to support your husband under stress? 

Men and Mental Health have been a topic of taboo, men can’t be weak and they are not allowed to express their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Due to enormous stress and the financial burden they deal with, they tend to go into isolation and even end their life. I would like to share a recent incident of India’s largest coffee chain Cafe Coffee Day owner V.G. Siddhartha, who ended his life by choosing suicide as a way to get rid of the distress he was dealing with.

This incident left me wondering what goes inside the human mind when one decides to take such a huge step? What provokes them to end their life? He was reported missing and prior to his disappearance, he left a heart-warming note to his employees revealing how much in debt he was. The mountain of debt was impairing his business as working capital requirements could not be met.

“I have failed to create the right profitable business model despite my best efforts. I would like to say I gave it my all. I am very sorry to let down all the people that put their trust in me. I fought for a long time but today I gave up as I could not take any more pressure,” his note read.

Besides a business tycoon, he was a father, a husband and a normal human being who had emotions and maybe he was under stress for a long time. I am sure if his family would have known they would have supported him and get him some help, I don’t know his personal life so I am just referring to this incident as an eye-opener for family members.

How to support your husband under stress? We feel men are working they can’t get tired, we see our father running and keeping things in order, we see our husbands working hard, slogging day and night to keep us safe and fulfilled but maybe they forego a lot of mental peace to meet the ends and to keep everything running. We as wife/mother/daughter should give them space to vent out, to relax and to let them know it is ok if they are feeling tired and they are allowed to say that are stressed.

What causes stress in a husband?

Recognizing Men’s Health is a critical issue because they hide it more than women, women are more expressive and at least they cry out their pent up emotions, men even hesitate to accept their feelings. Due to this patriarchal belief system, men try to dominate their own emotions and drag things to look normal but someday things bounce back and reality hit them hard.

They break and lose the track of things, start feeling anxious, frustrated and get angry without any reason. How to support your husband under stress? By trying to understand the root cause of his we should be able to find ways to support him, I have mentioned a few common reasons for stress in men which anyone would relate with:

Financial Stress
Tremendous Workload
Monotonous life
Work and personal life balance pressure
Inability to accept their weakness due to the concept of machoism.
Lack of Intellectual growth
No job-recognition
No performance appraisal
Peer Pressure
Family and relationship troubles

Also read: 15 Ways To Fight Stress

Seven Effective Ways To Support Your husband Under Stress

Usually, men face a lot of financial burden on their society-conditioned responsible shoulders. They are meant to rule and dominate, are are not allowed to shed a tear when they get tired of the hardships life throws on them. How to support your husband under stress who doesn’t share how he feels or who doesn’t even talk about his professional life? We can only try to friendly and give them enough chances to open up because some hustle and make their way out of their struggle, some fail and collapse and some just disappear right in front of our eyes.

1.) Listen to the unsaid


2.) Help them ease


3.) Support


4.) Connect


5.) Identify triggers


6.) Try retreats


7.) Seek expert help

1.) Listen to the unsaid

Men hardly speak about their issues, especially work or finances related issues. But their anger and disgust which is unwarranted at times speak louder than words. The simple act of lending an ear into active listening can sometimes work as an ice-breaker.

2.) Help them ease

Give them a safe space to open up, have a friendly approach. Let them know it is ok and you are there to listen if they want to share anything they can share with you without the fear of being judged or criticized.

3.) Support

Who else can support them other than you by just making them talk and help them open up their bottled emotions? A partner especially a caring one is the best source of emotional and moral support who can fill the other one with strength and positivity to bounce back.

4.) Connect

Connect with him and connect him to things he loves to do use to enjoy doing. There could be a lot of possibilities when you sit down and think, my dad never buy clothes unless mom forces him, in the daily hustle, they sometimes forget to think about themselves.

5.) Identify triggers

You both could end up in an argument and you could complain that he was never like this and don’t know what has got into him, you could complain and cry about it, which is natural but sometimes maybe unknowingly we pull the triggers because we don’t know what is going in his mind.

6.) Try retreats

How to support your husband under stress? Just escape from the daily hustles of the life, take a breather and this escapade could be in the form of a yoga retreat, meditation retreats or a simple vacation. It will help him to rejuvenate and you will also feel good in a new environment.

7.) Seek expert help

The most challenging thing here to be noted is that if family members fail to read the signs and identify the problem well beforehand, it could be more difficult. Sometimes they even deny the existence of problems and get annoyed.

It is always advisable to seek professional help when you fail to figure out ways that could work in your favor. I understand even you have your temper and limitations and sometimes even though we try to put ourselves in someone’s shoes, we do find things complicated even though we want to help them. It is better to meet a counselor, a therapist who can understand the problem and suggest effective coping mechanisms.

In the end, I would say supporting your husband who is under stress could be a painful and challenging part of a relationship. But since now you have decided to help them overcome their stress and take charge of their life, you got to be strong too. You never know what difference you can make in their life. Be aware and be present. Seek professional help if required, take care of yourself too and live a happy life.

For more such posts, visit my new blog Sanity Daily.

Much love and gratitude

Priyanka Nair

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Thoughtful Thursday

Isn’t it true?

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Much love and gratitude

~Priyanka

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Wednesday Wisdom -Life Quotes

We often judge others, we assume so many things, but we hardly see what they are hiding beneath that smile. We can never experience the pain someone else is going through, but we can make it easy for others by not being judgmental.

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Much love and gratitude

~Priyanka

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