Allen White's Blog, page 9
January 12, 2021
What’s Still Working with Online Small Groups
Let’s face it — people are tired of social distancing, staying home, Zoom meetings, and church online. While some choose to gather in-person, COVID numbers tend to dictate against meeting together. Whether your people are being kept apart by mandate, by fear, or by caution, the mission remains the same – the church is called to go and make disciples.
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from PexelsLast year when the pandemic began, people were eager to try online small groups. But, in many churches when it came time to regathering groups online in Fall 2020, many groups chose to not meet and just wait it out, while others continued to meet online. But, let’s face it: online meetings just aren’t like in-person small group meetings.
Now you’re facing Online Groups Round 3 in January 2021. The reception to online groups (again) has met with a mixed reaction. Let’s talk about what’s not working, and then examine the bright spots that are working.
What is NOT Working with Online Groups:Connecting with Strangers Online.Even in the advent of online dating apps, people are less likely to join an online small group of strangers than to meet with them at their house. This seems counterintuitive to me. It seems like it would be easier to just open your laptop and join the group instead of driving across town, but it’s harder to get people to online groups.
2. Too Many Zoom Meetings.
If people are working from home, they are pulled into more online meetings than normal. While they may look at a computer all day and a TV all evening anyway, there is something about Zoom meetings that takes a toll. Maybe it’s the lack of chemistry. Maybe it’s the self-consciousness of looking at yourself all day. As Nona Jones says, “Zoom meetings are just the same thing over and over.” Or, maybe Zoom Fatigue is just the replacement for “I don’t have time for a small group.”
3. Trying to Replicate In-person Meetings Online.
This is definitely not working. You can’t have the same experience in a Zoom group that you have when the group meets in-person. It just doesn’t happen. There are no side conversations. There’s no body language or nuance. There are no brownies. It’s not the same!
4. Recruiting New Leaders for Online Groups.
Recruiting new leaders is tough anyway, but recruiting new leaders for groups for online groups is a whole other level of hard. Things have moved beyond “push play and pour a cup of coffee.” On top of that people’s lives have been turned upside down with any semblance of “normal” in the very distant future. Taking responsibility for a group feels like about the last thing they need right now.
5. Divisions Between Groups: Online and In-person.
If you haven’t noticed there is a strong difference of opinion between people in the U.S. these days. That rift carries down the middle of small groups. While some groups are ready to forget COVID and just get back together, others are erring on the side of caution and waiting for conditions to improve. Even when groups do meet in-person, there’s still a divide between the maskites and anti-maskites.
These are the struggles I’m hearing from the small group pastors and directors I talk to every day. (If you would like a free coaching call, click here). People are sick of taking precautions. People are tired of staying apart. But, people are unsure about returning to normal as much as they would love to.
What is Working Right NowIn all of this disruption, I have uncovered some bright spots with online small groups. Here are some things that are working.
Established Groups are Working It Out.Groups are revisiting their group agreements and deciding what will work for everybody. If they are truly coming to an impasse, then groups are choosing to spin off part of the group into a new group. If groups can’t agree to meet 100% in-person or 100% online, they are dividing into separate groups: one in-person and one online. For some of these groups, this is a temporary fix until conditions change. For others, this is a permanent decision. When else have you heard groups volunteering to do that?
2. Offering Care and Conversation Digitally.
Churches have done an amazing job pushing out digital content. People are practically drowning in content. (Pastors, write a book already!) But, in addition to content people need care and conversation. They are getting a ton of information from all sides. They really need a place to talk about it. They need a chance to unpack the sermon. This could be a group. This could be a text exchange. People are on their smartphones for an alarming number of hours every day. Why not use that time and technology to encourage one another daily?
3. Short-term Groups with Different Formats.
As mentioned before, online groups are not the same as in-person groups, so make them intentionally different. Call them by a different name, so people know these aren’t your typical small groups or life groups. Designate a specific period of time for groups to meet, for instance between Super Bowl Sunday and Easter or between Easter and Memorial Day. These new groups are not intended to go on forever. Change the format. Shorten the meeting times. Use different online platforms – there’s more to online groups than Zoom.
4. Gathering Groups of Friends.
If your people are reluctant to join a stranger’s Zoom group, then encourage them to start their own with people they already know. Gathering groups of friends has long been a principle of the Exponential Groups strategy. After all, “Everybody is already in a small group” (Exponential Groups: Unleashing Your Church’s Potential, Hendrickson 2017, page 1).
5. Groups Championed by the Senior Pastor.
Your people will follow where your senior pastor leads. Things have changed for senior pastors in the last year. Prior to COVID, the common metrics for success were nickels and noses. There aren’t nearly as many of those nowadays. How does a church measure its effectiveness? The big word right now is engagement, but what does that mean?
Pastors can quickly get into the vanity metrics of one second views and ten second views of online services. Churches with a pre-COVID attendance of 100 now are online gigachurches with 10,000 views. Let’s keep it real.
Engagement means connection. What do you offer your online congregation? What next steps are in place? I spent many Sundays in 2020 watching Saddleback Church’s service. (We were members there once). At the end of every service, Pastor Rick Warren talked about the same three things: (1) starting a relationship with Jesus, (2) joining a small group, and (3) giving. Week after week during 30+ weeks of the book of James, every service ended exactly the same. At one point, Saddleback had started over 3,000 new online small groups. Giving has held steady. (They’ve retained 400 staff members). People are coming to Christ.
You are not quite out of the woods. The beginning of 2021 feels like more of 2020, doesn’t it? How are you going to navigate groups for the next six months? It’s too much time to just wait it out. You can’t afford to lose any more opportunities to make disciples. How can you serve your people when you can’t meet with them? What sounds like it might work for you?
P.S. I got quite a reaction to my video last week. Some of you have experienced “deep shift!” Thanks for letting me know.
The post What’s Still Working with Online Small Groups appeared first on Allen White Consulting.
January 11, 2021
LIVE Course: Starting Online Small Groups
“I don’t have time for an online group.”
“I have Zoom Fatigue.”
“Online groups just aren’t like my regular small group.”
“I’m technologically challenged.”
Have you heard these excuses for not joining an online small group? We’ve found some things that really work to help people connect and grow when they can’t meet in-person.
In this course, you will learn how to:
Start Online Groups.Form Online Groups that Last (or Even Actually Meet).Train Your People to Lead Online Small Group Meetings.Coach Online Small Groups.Navigate Online Small Group DynamicsTake Next Steps with Online Small Groups. Register Now!You Will Receive:
A Complete Blueprint for Launch New Online Groups in 2021!Three 90-minute LIVE Coaching Sessions with Allen White for YOU and Your Team (January 25-27, 2021, 3:00-4:30 pm Eastern)LIVE Q & A with Allen about Online Small Groups.One Copy of Allen’s Book, Leading Online Small Groups: Embracing the Church’s Digital Future ($12.92 value)Access to the Full ecourse: Starting Online Small Groups ($97 value)A Copy of All of the Session Slides.Supplemental Materials in a Downloadable Format.Cost: $97 per church Register Now!Need the Training Sooner? Jump into the Starting Online Small Groups Course now!
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January 5, 2021
The Big Ministry Shift in 2021
Happy New Year! 2020 is officially behind us, but we all know that flipping the page of a calendar isn’t the same as hitting the restart button. I talk to pastors every day. (If you’d like to talk sometime, click here to schedule a meeting.) Some are really struggling. Some are hanging in there. Some are making some interesting progress.
Our mission didn’t change in 2020. We are still called to go and make disciples. Our methods have changed significantly. Our metrics have changed. Our effectiveness is not longer measured in nickels and noses. But, it’s more than that. We didn’t just get a new scorecard. We are playing an entirely different game. In all of this change, it is easy to get discouraged. Today’s video will encourage you as you launch into 2021.
The post The Big Ministry Shift in 2021 appeared first on Allen White Consulting.
December 29, 2020
Top Posts of 2020
Image by Yildiray Yücel Kamanmaz from Pixabay10. The Dreaded Question: Where Did They Go?
9. 5 Questions to Ask Before You Exit Quarantine
8. Should Online Groups Move Offline?
7. The Chocolate Hummus of Ministries Got Left Behind
6. How Quarantine Changed the Church
5. Why Are People Ghosting Online Small Groups?
4. Starting Online Small Groups [Video]
3. When Should Churches Reopen?
2. Streaming Video is NOT Church Online!
Promoting Community While Social Distancing: Moving Your Small Groups Online
Top Posts of All Time on allenwhite.org
10. Is the Church Wide Campaign a Dinosaur?
9. Why Do We Need a Group Agreement?
8. 4 Mistakes Senior Pastors Make with Small Groups
7. Sermons Don’t Make Disciples
6. 4 Reasons to Fire Your Small Groups Pastor
5. The Rise of the Microsite Church
3. When Your Pastor Gets Fired
How Mariners’ Rooted Journey Grows Groups, Service and Giving
The post Top Posts of 2020 appeared first on Allen White Consulting.
December 22, 2020
A Christmas Gift from Allen White
Image by Monika Grafik from PixabayUse the Code: CHRISTMAS2020 and receive the 3 Keys to Lasting Groups course for free!
It’s my Christmas gift to you for faithfully following this blog.
Instructions:
Go to: https://allen-s-school-3dfe.thinkific.com/courses/3-keys-to-lasting-groupsClick “Buy $27.00” on the course page.Create a Free Account or login to your current account.Click “Have a Coupon?” and enter the code: CHRISTMAS2020 (You do not need to enter your credit card information).Click “Apply”Click “Enroll Now”Enjoy the course.
If you have any questions or need any assistance, please contact us at info@allenwhite.org.
The free course is limited to the first 500 people to register. The offer expires on 12/31/2020.
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December 15, 2020
COVID Didn’t Break Your Small Group Ministry
COVID has done a lot of things in 2020. The pandemic has caused people to lose their jobs and pivot their business trajectories. It has created economic uncertainty for many and fueled political polarization. COVID has caused people to rethink what they do and how they do it. It’s done a lot of things, but COVID didn’t break your small group ministry.
Image by Michael Krause from PixabayThat doesn’t mean that small groups haven’t suffered in 2020. Groups have suffered Zoom Fatigue. Group members have become overwhelmed by working at home while their children are doing school online. Or even more stressful, group members are in health care or other essential work and face the tragedies of the pandemic every day on top of everything else. Sometimes it’s hard to gather a group meeting in-person or online. But, while some churches are seeing a decrease in small groups, others are increasing their groups by 50-211% in 2020. Here is what I’m seeing:
Groups that Broke Were Already Breaking
Like most things in 2020, the businesses that went bankrupt were already on a downward slide. That restaurant you never frequented went out of business. That place you rarely shopped had to close their doors. Century-old institutions like JCPenney filed for bankruptcy when it was once the king of mail order. Do you see the irony there?
Similarly, your groups that struggled the most in 2020 were struggling before. This is not to place blame, but it is a wakeup call. If all of your groups had ended when the pandemic hit, then you could blame the pandemic. But, when you look at the groups that have struggled this year, what was particular about them that caused them to end? What was the quality of their relationships? What was the group’s level of commitment? Were you aware of how the group was struggling?
I don’t mean to blame the group. People have faced devastating circumstances in 2020. But, the groups that fell apart already had cracks in their relationships. When things got harder, the group got worse. For those who didn’t connect with the group regularly, they just disappeared. For leaders who didn’t regularly check up on their group members outside of the group meeting, relationships continued to fray. The bottom line is what held the group together previously wasn’t sufficient to keep the group together during a crisis.
If It Was Hard for You to Connect with Leaders Before…
…Then trying to connect with group leaders during 2020 has seemed nearly impossible. Churches as a whole have depended far too much on the weekend service as a place for connection, discipleship, evangelism, worship, and everything else. The church is more than a worship service. This year has demonstrated that more clearly than ever. Yet by relying on chance meetings in the lobby with group leaders to take the temperature of groups is an insufficient measure of the health of groups anyway. Once that was gone, small group pastors began to realize how little connection they had with their groups.
The churches who have communicated best with their leaders in 2020 have a coaching structure in place. They never relied on leader meetings, reports, or lobby conversations to gauge the health of their groups. Coaches are the glue that holds these small group ministries together. If you’ve followed my blog for any amount of time, you know I’m a huge advocate for coaching. Here’s why.
It would be easy to assume that the solution for connecting with leaders will come in six months or so when everything is back to normal and you can go back to bumping into your leaders in the lobby. If you don’t hear anything else in this post, please here this: COVID didn’t kill the communication with your leaders. The lack of a coaching structure was already working against you. You didn’t have as much of a grasp on the health of your groups that you thought you did. If your leaders aren’t calling you back, there is a problem, but this problem didn’t just happen.
You don’t need a coaching structure to prepare for the next national crisis. (Let’s hope there isn’t one soon). You need a coaching structure for the health of your groups and the benefit of your leaders. If you are personally trying to coach more than eight leaders, you are beyond your capacity already. Get started on your coaching structure ASAP!
If It was Hard to Train Your Leaders Before…
…Training feels nearly impossible now. Whether you’re attempting to gather leaders in-person or online, it’s hard to get people together. But, the reality is that it was hard to get everyone to training before.
Years ago, a pastor asked me why I thought his leaders didn’t attend his training meetings. I told him it was because his training was boring and irrelevant. He was more than a little offended and shot back with “How would you know? You’ve never been to my training.” I told him I knew because that’s why my leaders didn’t attend my training meetings – they were boring and irrelevant.
Training that works is centered around what small group leaders tell you they need. Otherwise, to attempt to train all of the leaders together will result in either being over the heads of new leaders or taking experienced leaders back to Kindergarten. Poll your leaders and ask them what they’re dealing with, then select three topics and publish the agenda for your next training meeting. Better yet, create two-minute videos with training on each of those topics and send them out to your leaders. You don’t need a meeting at all.
In both coaching and training, it’s best to determine the least amount of structure needed to keep your leaders and groups healthy and to help them succeed. Now, by “least amount of structure” I don’t mean you doing it by yourself. You don’t want a structure that’s too cumbersome, but you do need something that’s flexible and scalable.
If It was Hard to Track Your Groups Before…
…It’s doubly hard to get reports from your groups now. COVID didn’t break your report-taking. The disruption to the normal pattern of ministry has revealed the weakness in regular reporting and your group metrics. Nobody’s report-taking is perfect. There are always those group leaders who will never complete a report. If they’re good at relationships and bad at reporting, then consider yourself blessed.
If group leaders aren’t task-oriented and won’t complete reports, then designate someone else in the group to give a report. Use a database like ChurchTeams.com that sends report reminders automatically and notifies you when reports are completed.
Reports are only one metric. If you’re waiting for a report to understand the health of your groups, then you’re already in the weeds. This is why coaching is so important.
Concluding Thoughts
The stresses of 2020 have revealed many weaknesses in small group ministry. That’s a good thing, because now you know what you need to work on. When COVID subsides, don’t expect your prior small group ministry to just snap back into place. The problems will still be there.
Make a plan and begin to work on the weaknesses in your ministry now. Build a coaching structure. Align your metrics. Make your training more relevant. Deepen your leaders and your groups. Once you have these things in place, your small groups will be stronger for it.
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December 8, 2020
Help! My Small Groups are Tired of Zoom!
If you’re like most pastors, your small groups are tired of Zoom meetings. If people are working remotely, they are in a series of Zoom meetings all day long. As Nona Jones said, “The problem is that even though the meetings are different the experience is the same.” Zoom Fatigue is real.
Your people are tired of looking at their screens and looking at themselves all day long. But, if they won’t meet with their groups online when they are unable or unwilling to meet in-person, then how do you create community? How do you fulfill your mission of making disciples?
Image by Concord90 from PixabayDo Something Different
Zoom meetings cannot effectively replicate an in-person experience. Your small groups are just not the same online as they are in-person. In-person meetings are far superior to online meetings just like your in-person worship service is much better than the streaming service (but the streaming service could be better). So, stop trying to create the same meeting experience for a group on Zoom. It’s not the same. It doesn’t work. People don’t like it…says the guy who wrote Leading Online Small Groups: Embracing the Church’s Digital Future this year!
Change it up. Do something different. Call it something different. Think about offering a short-term group if that’s a different experience for your groups.
• Look at egroups from The Church at the Mill, Moore, South Carolina.
• Start book clubs like The Rock Church in San Diego who are working through The Third Option: Hope for a Racially Divided Nation by their pastor, Miles McPherson. If your pastor doesn’t have a book, then use Miles’ book! This year groups at The Rock Church are up 211% over 2019.
• Take your groups through Financial Peace University, a marriage class, your membership process, or your growth track online.
• Try a Digitally Interactive Curriculum like Get Out of Your Head by Jenni Allen through Studygateway.com or produce your own digitally interactive curriculum using Rali.
This is a different year. Online groups are a different experience. Try something different!
Groups are More Than Meetings
Groups offer the experience of life-on-life, not life-on-curriculum. Fortunately, Jesus didn’t command you to “go and hold small group meetings.” (And, before you say it, I am well aware of Hebrews 10:25. Stay with me here).
Your mission is to “go and make disciples” (Matthew 28:19-20). What do you need to make a disciple? Let’s take this as granular as we can. You need a disciple to make a disciple. I would even venture to say that more discipleship happens outside of meetings than in meetings anyway. Feel free to debate me on that, but keep in mind that my definition of discipleship is not merely book learnin’. It’s teaching people to obey what Jesus commanded.
The best examples of life-on-life are the One Anothers of the Bible. How can you “encourage one another daily” when you don’t see each other every day or even very often? If you’re like most adults, you are never more than five feet away from your phone. Mine is sitting next to my computer as I’m typing this. I have to confess that my screen time has significantly increased in 2020. The same is true for most people. So, since your people are already on their phones quite a bit, why not use their phones to encourage each other? Send a quick text. Make a quick call. Say something positive on social media.
The same can go for the other One Anothers:
• “Love one another” (John 13:34; John 15:12).
• “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love” (Romans 12:10).
• “Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10).
• “Live in harmony with one another” (Romans 12:16).
• “Stop passing judgment on one another” (Romans 14:13).
• “Serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13).
• “Carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).
• “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other” (Ephesians 4:32).
• “Build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
• “Encourage one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13).
• “Spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24).
• “Pray for each other” (James 5:16).
• There are 59 total!
And, here’s the thing: even when all of your people are attending in-person worship services and meeting with their groups in-person, they still can’t practice these One Anothers often enough. Encourage them to use their digital devices and message, pick up the phone and call, and even send a handwritten note in the mail. What if this could become the normal practice of all believers?
Zoom is NOT the Only Way to Meet Online
If Zoom Fatigue is a big issue, there are other ways to meet when you can’t meet in-person. Your people meet in other types of online groups that aren’t fatiguing them. Don’t think so?
Groups could meet on a conference call line. Services like freeconferencecall.com offer the phone number (which is usually long distance, but that’s not really an issue today).
Groups could meet asynchronously. Your people use asynchronous groups all of the time – a group text, Slack, private Facebook groups, Marco Polo, Parler (or not), and even “Reply to All” on email is an asynchronous group. The leader would post the questions one post at a time, then the group would respond probably over a week. This is how I did my CompuServe group in 1994!
My children connect with their friends often over video games like Fortnite. In fact, one article (that I can’t locate right now…) said that people who connect socially while playing video games are doing better in the pandemic than most people. I’m not sure how you’d pull off a traditional small group study, but you can connect! If you have discovered how to do this well, let me know!
Some of this may seem off-the –wall, but 2020 has been an off-the-wall sort of year. This is the year to experiment “because of COVID.” Whatever you want to start doing or even stop doing, do it “because of COVID.”
Some People Really Need an Online Small Group Right Now
You have people who are isolated and alone. You have people watch your online worship service and are ready to take a next step. You have people who’ve watched too much cable news and are freaking out. You have people who need to connect. Offer Zoom groups to the people who need them. It won’t be 100% of your people, but there are people who would love to join one. Move with the movers.
Rather than just herding your current groups into online groups, let them decide how they would choose to meet when they can’t meet in-person. They can go back and visit their group agreement and decide what to do. If they don’t all want to meet in-person or online, then start two groups!
Closing Thought
Small groups meet many different purposes. They provide community and connection. They offer teaching and training. They promote conversation and practical application of God’s Word, the Bible. They offer opportunities to serve and to reach others. They provide an environment for encouragement and accountability. But, just like the weekend worship service is not your church’s entire ministry, a small group meeting is not the entire ministry of the group.
When groups can’t meet in-person and won’t meet online, focus on connection. How are your people connecting? How are your leaders connecting with their members? How are you and your coaches connecting with your leaders?
The post Help! My Small Groups are Tired of Zoom! appeared first on Allen White Consulting.
December 1, 2020
Case Study: Hoboken Grace Church – From Stuck to Over 90% Connected in Groups
Hoboken Grace is a church of eight hundred adults in Hoboken, New Jersey, near New York City. This region is known for young, single, upwardly mobile residents who eventually marry and move to the suburbs. The church is eleven years old and has offered small groups since its beginning.

The church’s previous effort at groups had connected about five hundred of their eight hundred members into groups. But the operative word here is effort. “At that point, identifying new group leaders was heavy apprenticing and heavy individual recruiting,” said Nick Lenzi, the church’s community director. “We had reluctance to church-wide campaigns. We felt it was really hard to create our own curriculum, or at least we thought the barriers for that were really high.”
For their first church-wide campaign, the church chose to purchase curriculum for their Be Rich series. The topic was finances, and the curriculum choice was from Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (FPU). This was the direction the lead pastor was going, so the small group campaign followed suit.
What’s more, FPU required the facilitators to have advanced training. Nine months before the campaign, they let the group leaders know about the series. “In January, we had the pastor put together a vision video,” Lenzi said. “He told them, ‘I want you guys to get into FPU because we need as many qualified people this fall to take the entire church through FPU. If you know the material, you’re going to have a huge leg up and be able to help so many people.’ When our people heard from the lead pastor, they accepted that call to action.”
“We were starting community and talking about the most intimate thing in today’s society,” Lenzi admits. Yet, in this first alignment series, the church was able to connect a total of 91 percent of their adults into groups. They had connected an additional 28 percent of their adults into groups using a relatively difficult topic. (63% were previously in groups.)
With one series under their belt, the church took the next step to create their own teaching videos to align with a published series (with permission). “I got a teleprompter,” Lenzi said. “My pastor asked, ‘Where has this thing been my whole life?’”
The church also decided to try a new strategy in recruiting group leaders. “One of our values is that everyone in the church takes responsibility for their own spiritual growth. Now I’m looking for leaders who are able to encourage a group and support people in their own spiritual growth. When we invite people to lead groups, we invite them to encourage people and help these gatherings to happen. The church is going to partner with them. We’re going to give them the questions. We’re going to offer the video teaching. We’ll put the leaders in touch with the care pastors if something comes up. This has been so fruitful. My ‘close rate’ is 90 to 95 percent, because everyone believes they can encourage someone else. The nature of the groups is going from house to house, or restaurant to restaurant. We’ve found that we just need to get out of the way and let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit.”
With their pastor’s video teaching and an openness to give their people permission and opportunity to lead these gatherings, Hoboken Grace continues to make a kingdom impact in a neighborhood of the biggest city in the United States.
Nick Lenzi and Hoboken Grace Church were part of the 2018 Small Group Ministry Coaching Group.
This case study is an excerpt from the Exponential Groups Workbook.
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November 24, 2020
When Your Groups are Divided Over COVID
This is a complex time filled with believers and non-believers. Some believe that COVID-19 is a deadly pandemic and that every precaution must be taken. Others believe that the Coronavirus is completely made up to control people. There are others who venture out with precautions. There are others who resent precautions. As one pastor said recently, “You just described my whole church.” But, what happens when your groups disagree over whether to meet in-person or online?
Image by Engin Akyurt from PixabayBeing Right Misses the Point
People have already decided what they believe about COVID, the presidential election, global warming, etc. Positions have been taken. No amount of arguing, tweeting, posting, or unfriending will convince them otherwise. Debate will not make anyone feel better about meeting or not meeting as a group.
As stated earlier, opinions range across an entire spectrum. Some choose to err on the side of caution because of a family member who is elderly or who has a compromised immune system. Others are just over it. Coronavirus has carried on for over eight months. Typically, people don’t stick with anything that long!
This division is not a matter of who’s right and who’s wrong. It comes down to the best way to accommodate group members over an issue that is important to them. Coronavirus aside, how can the group love one another and thus prove they are Christ’s disciples?
What Can the Group Agree on?
For the sake of discussion, let’s consider a less emotionally-charged issue. Instead of meeting or not meeting because of COVID, let’s change the debate. Let’s say that part of the group would like to continue meeting on Tuesday night, but another part of the group would like to change to Thursday night. The Tuesday members have their reasons. The Thursday members have their reasons. Would the Tuesday members possibly move to Thursday? Why can’t the Thursday members meet on Tuesday? Is there another night of the week that’s open for everyone?
If the heart of the group is to stay together, they must arrive at some kind of compromise. Alternating group meetings between Tuesdays and Thursdays would be confusing and would effectively split the group. As with any group dilemma, the group needs to revisit their Group Agreement. If the current Group Agreement is no longer working for the group, then they need to do their best to make adjustments in order to continue. If they cannot make adjustments, then the group will probably disband. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
What If the Group Can’t Reach Consensus?
The question of a group being split over COVID actually came up in an online leader training I did last week with Grace Point Church in Topeka, Kansas. (Thanks Josh Cooper for inviting me!) One of the leaders was facing this exactly dilemma in her group.
My initial response was to tell the group leader to choose the members she liked and go with them. While that brought a laugh, it wasn’t really a solution. But, I was only half joking.
The first thing leaders must consider is what they are comfortable doing. If the group made an accommodation to a different night or a different format for the sake on an insistent member, I’ve often found that even after the group makes the change, the member doesn’t show up. Leaders should do what they’re comfortable doing. If they like meeting on Tuesday night, then meet on Tuesday night. If leaders would prefer to meet online over the Winter instead of in-person, then meet online and keep those who will meet with you. But, what about those on the other side of the issue?
If your group is divided 60/40, then you have effectively split the group. Those who don’t want to continue based on the group’s decision should form their own group and choose the relative leader in the group. Before the group makes this move, the leader should discuss this with his or her coach or small group pastor. You don’t want to elevate someone without clearing the name with the church first. Once the new leader is approved, then the new group can start.
This could be a temporary solution until the situation changes, and the group can reunite. Or, the group could intentionally start another new group. The new in-person group and the new online group that have formed will have room for new members. People who’ve been watching the online worship service could connect with the online small group. Look at this as an opportunity and not a problem!
Now, notice what I didn’t say. I did not say to send the three or four members who differ from the rest of the group to the small group pastor so they can be assigned to a new group. This is not the small group pastor’s problem, so don’t make it your problem. Let the group work out their differences with the guidance of their coach. Stay out of the matchmaking business.
Concluding Thoughts
This is a complicated time. Opinions vary widely. But, as at any other time, group issues should be solved by the group. If they need help, then their coach can guide them. Avoid the temptation to fix this for the group. They can work it out. And, above all else, “stop passing judgment on one another” (Romans 14:13).
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November 17, 2020
How Strongly are Your Church Members Networked?
You and I are living in a strange time, but even if we weren’t a network of members and attenders is significant to the life, health, and growth of your church. You can see this clearly with Coronavirus cases increasing along with restrictions and fears. It seems hard to know what’s actually true at times. But, what you are experiencing is a dispersing of your flock unlike ever before. What’s become clear is that the glue that was holding most churches together was the weekend service. That bond has proved inadequate in so many ways. By networking your people together, you can encourage, serve, and mobilize a congregation whether they will gather or not.

Networks in churches are not new. Church members are connected through groups, prayer chains, serving teams, and unfortunately, even the proverbial grapevine and rumor mill. But, they are networked. Some of these networks serve great purposes. Others must be redeemed.
What Networks Does Your Church Currently Have?
Have you thought about how your people are currently connected? They might be connected in obvious ways like groups, serving teams, boards, committees, and so forth. But, what other connections do you see? How about groups of friends? What about families, co-workers, and neighbors?
If a family left your church, who would miss them? Worse yet, if a family left your church, how would you know that they are gone? If people are attending online worship services, do you know if they’re still watching or if they changed the channel?
I left the staff of a church nine years ago and went into full-time church consulting. Up until March 2020 our family attended a large church – not because it’s large, but because our children were invited. We don’t know very many people there. We haven’t attended in person since mid-March because of COVID. (We have a child with a compromised immune system, so we are erring on the side of caution). But, here’s the thing – while we’ve been participating in online worship services since March, those services are from another church. My church doesn’t know that I’m gone. But, this isn’t about me.
Most of your members probably are not published authors with well-known blogs. But, what I just described is more common than you might think unfortunately. Please understand that I am not trying to discourage you, but I am trying to alert you.
How Can You Connect with Your Entire Congregation in a Meaningful Way?
Connecting is different from communicating. Communicating is streaming the weekend worship service and counting views. Communicating is sending out video devotionals every morning on Facebook Live. Communicating is sending emails. There is one problem with all of this communication – it only goes one direction. Communication is not the same as connection.
How are you connecting? Well, you can’t connect with everyone. It’s simply not humanly possible. But, you could connect with a small group of leaders by phone or by Zoom (I know). Those leaders could connect with leaders of their own who they serve. Then those leaders could connect with members. What I’ve just described is Jethro’s advice to Moses in Exodus 18. In small group ministry, it serves as a coaching structure. This serves as a network of care, connection, and discipleship. How well is your church networked? Who are eight leaders of leaders of leaders that you could gather into a team to help you? Then, who are their eight?
How Can You Best Provide Care for Everyone?
The pandemic and quarantine – either mandated or chosen – have tested the ability of churches to care for their members. At least when you saw them once in a while on Sunday morning, you had the opportunity for a quick check-in to see how they were doing. But, the reality is that there is only one of you even if you are in a multi-pastor congregation. No pastor can adequately meet the needs of hundreds or thousands of people. And, you shouldn’t.
In Ephesians, Paul writes, “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up…” (Ephesians 4:11-12, NIV). While service should never be beneath you, your job as a pastor is “to equip his people for works for service.” Now more than ever it’s time to get your members gifts in the game to serve the church and the community like never before. The need is huge. It’s much bigger than what any amazing pastor can do.
You are Only a Few Degrees Off of Normal.
On phrase that I often repeated is that in 2020 things that were broken are just rapidly breaking. Companies that were teetering on bankruptcy went under. Marriages that were already in trouble are collapsing. Churches that were struggling may be coming to an end. This is true for all of these relationships unless they use 2020 as a wakeup call and decide to change.
I have no beef against large churches who are effectively reaching their communities for Christ. What I take exception to is that the weekend service does not accomplish nearly what pastors (including me) thought it could. Whether your church is scattered online because of COVID or scattered across a large auditorium, people need connection. They need conversation and community. After all, disciples make disciples. Sermons don’t make disciples.
How can you start your network of members? Will you connect them into groups? Will you identify the “top” 33% of the growing disciples in your church and challenge them to gather with two folks in the lower 67% to make disciples? Will you institute care calls to check on your members? Normal looks like it’s a long way off. And, from what I see it doesn’t look “normal.” A network will help you to care for your members and reach your community even during these crazy circumstances.
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