Emily Henderson's Blog, page 223

Brian’s Magical Mind-Trick to Get Through Homeschooling the Kids (And Even Be a Better Teacher)

Remember when your older brother would pin you down on the ground, take your hands and whap you in the face and ask, “WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF?? WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF??”? Ughhhhh. It was the worst. Maybe not as bad as when he would snort up a big ol’ loogie and dangle it above your face before sucking it back up (sorry for anyone eating oatmeal right now), but the “Why are you hitting yourself?” thing used to drive me nuts. It made me feel helpless, frustrated, and not just pissed at my brother, but strangely pissed at myself for hitting myself! How crazy is that?? He actually succeeded in making me ask, “Why am I hitting myself?”. Maybe I was a slow child. Well, I’ve recently realized that there’s a pretty good lesson in that little bit of torture. Especially right now. Ok, not in the torture but the question that asks – “Why are you hitting yourself?

I noticed it this week when I was teaching my kids during our “special time at home”. I became the default homeschool teacher of the family because almost all of my work has dried up due to the current circumstances and Emily needs to keep us afloat right now. So she works in the morning while I teach.

Storytime. We had just finished our morning routine, which includes Emily and me drinking coffee on our laptops while the kids play and eat breakfast. Then, after I read the latest depressing news article it was time to start school.

I really didn’t want to do it. The first few days of this whole homeschool thing were light and fun because it was new and felt temporary. But after week two, the reality set in that I would be doing this every day for the foreseeable future. And I felt a heavy sense of “total bummer” set in. I think it set into the kids too, or maybe my vibe was rubbing off on them. But regardless, we all came to the table that morning looking like angry convicts showing up for community service. And things got worse from there.

Because I felt put-upon, I turned into my version of Mrs. Green, who was my fourth-grade teacher and the strictest, most no-fun person I knew as a 10-year-old. I was short-tempered, overly expectant, and rigid. At one point I got frustrated with Charlie because he refused to focus on his writing exercise, and I must have raised my voice because he got up from the table with tears in his eyes and ran to the bedroom. I found him crying on the bed, saying that I scared him. Woah. Shoot. Time out. I took out my feelings on him. I felt terrible. After lots of hugs and apologies, we called it a day. As I was cleaning up, I started to work out what happened and how I was going to get through this whole mess of a time without turning into Mrs. Green. Why did I lose my temper over a story about a monster eating ice cream? Why am I making things hard for myself? Why am I hitting myself?

I went right to my tattoo, which is where I go when I notice my reactions to things are getting skewed. I wrote a whole blog post about it, which you can read HERE, but the short version is that through something called “Narrative Therapy” I learned how to deal with my negative roadblocks. I have a “pipe cut in half” on my arm, and it reminds me that I have a tendency to see things through a tiny dark tunnel. But if I expand my field of view or “cut the tunnel open” as it were, I can usually see there are more ways to view a situation. So I came up with some ways to reframe my view of homeschool and how I can approach it without setting myself up for failure. Without hitting myself. 

I preface this all by saying that it’s way easier said than done. I have to practice it daily and even then I fail a lot. I’m sure it sounds like super ju-ju happy pills, but it works for me. Give it a try. It may not work for you, but even if it helps for a few minutes before reality sets back in, that seems worth it to me. These are things I’m trying to do. Emphasis on trying.

Reframe “I Have To” to “I Get To”  

I told you – it sounds suuuper cheesy and lah-de-dah, but just indulge me for a sec. I’ve started trying to pause every morning before I start school and think “When else in my life am I going to be able to spend this time with my kids?”.  In normal times, I can’t be in school with them. I don’t get to see how they learn or what they respond to. I don’t get to watch them work through problems or figure out new concepts. But more than that, I will never get to spend whole mornings with my kids after this. However, before you think I’m the most annoying guy in the world, who just bounces down the stairs with a big smile shouting, “Oh Boy! I can’t wait to start school!” let me stop and say this isn’t meant to be a sustainable state of mind. It’s a trick, a tip that I use at specific times. When I feel a fight coming on, like when my kid is refusing to focus and finish an assignment, and I’m about to take my annoyance out, I try to remind myself to reframe it, to remember this is a special time, not a time for me to waste energy on going dark. It usually changes my mood, which then changes theirs. It doesn’t always work, but I’m trying. Dear lord am I trying. 

Reframe “I can’t do this” to “This is mine”

These days it feels like we’re in the backseat of a car and the driver has jumped out the door. It’s almost impossible not to bring the outside world into the home. I feel hopeless and anxious all the time. But when I really try, I can actually use homeschooling to fight the whole thing. I try to remind myself that this is one of the few things that I can control, that it’s my little world that I get to create and moderate. I’m slowly finding power in that. Whenever I successfully get my kids to finish a little assignment and move onto the next one, I find that I’m not thinking about the outside world. Instead, I’m getting the endorphins going from achieving a little goal that I set and helped shape. It’s almost like the school day is a little bubble where news can’t reach, where I have control of things, and where I can allow myself to feel happy. I just need to remind myself to indulge in the small little victories and give them more weight than I normally would. 

Reframe ” I need you to finish this” to “Sometimes a crab pinches a man’s butt”

This one is probably specific to my situation – I have young kids who are in public school, and they haven’t been given very strict work requirements. Our youngest is in preschool and the oldest is in kindergarten, so they aren’t being asked to pass a bunch of quizzes and specific assignments. Although our teachers are AMAZING and have created helpful and fun online tools for us to follow, I’m able to freelance a bit. And because of that, there can be a feeling that I’m not doing the correct workloads or I’m not giving them enough to do, or they’re not learning things well enough. We’re not doing enough! And while I’m all for structure and curriculum (see my typical school day below), I found that when I put pressure on myself to be a “good teacher,” it’s led to me getting uptight which then leads to fights and friction. So I pause and try to give us all a break. 

When I can’t figure out how to get Charlie to focus through a lesson, and I’m about to lose my temper, I remember I AM NOT PROFESSIONAL TEACHER. Why am I hitting myself? We can only do our best. So guess what? This morning after I tried a few times to get Charlie to finish a letter-practice sheet, I just said “screw it” and drew a picture of a crab pinching a guy’s butt. It made him laugh, and he was excited to write the corresponding sentence. And I remembered, duh, kids respond to fun things more than threats and nagging. And I didn’t correct his misspelling, because the little battle I won was worth more to me as a father than I care about being a teacher. He learned some letters without a fight, and I learned that I’m pretty good at drawing buttcheeks.

I also noticed that my focus on my kids finishing certain assignments has been coming from an ego-driven place. Which was super humbling when I realized it. Why did I care SO MUCH if Charlie got through the three pages of math problems that I arbitrarily assigned? Because I wanted to feel like I had done my job, which is insane. This is not about me. I’m not a teacher, and it’s pretty pompous to assume that my version of teaching is the correct one. So, I let go of the reigns a bit, and when I feel myself getting worked up. I give it my best shot and if that doesn’t work I pivot to something else that makes everyone less stressed out. Like a story about buttcheeks or poop. Poop always works. And if it doesn’t, I just bail. IT’S OK TO BAIL.

I guarantee that in ten years, it’s not going to matter if I got my kids to perfectly write a lowercase q while we were in quarantine. It’s going to matter how close we are as a family.

My whole thing right now is just trying to figure out how to make things easier for myself. We’re going to be in this for a while, so how do I keep it going without turning into the worst version of myself? What are the things that I can control so I don’t make things harder in these hard times? How can I keep from hitting myself? I’m learning new things every day and am trying to change my view of it constantly. But I’m also failing constantly. It’s f’ing hard. I have to keep trying these things, otherwise, my kids would be asking why the teacher’s math lesson is having them count the empty beer cans at 11 am. I can do this. 

Just because I’m curious about what everyone else is doing daily, I’ll share my ideal school day with you, and please let me know what I’m doing wrong or what you guys are doing to get through this insane time!

Wake up – Kids play while Emily and I drink coffee and catch up on work stuff on our computers. Breakfast is normally 7:30 or 8 am.

8:30 am – Everyone gets dressed! I tried to teach in my sweats and it really pulled me down into the chair. I don’t know why, but it totally affected my mood and reactions in a bad way. So from then on, I insist that we all get dressed for school. Are you guys doing this?

Supply Caddy | Sight Cards | Easy Peasy Alapbet | Alex Little Hands Writing Book

9 am – Reading/Writing. We usually start with Charlie doing sight words that we have on flashcards. We were supposed to be doing this nightly when he was in school, but who has time to do that after school and before bed? So we totally slacked. But now, we’re doing them like 2-3 times a day. Elliot tries to read them too, but she usually just watches.

Then we work on a lower case letter. We ordered some handwriting workbooks from Amazon that have sections for tracing and then sections for writing on your own. We started with ‘a’ and are working through the alphabet. I have Charlie write all the letters that we’ve worked on as a review, then start on the letter for that day. Elliot usually only has the patience to get through a couple traces and then she wants to draw. So she draws through most of the first section of school.

Then I’ll have Charlie write out a few words that start with the letter we’ve learned. It’s a work in progress. His teacher sent us a pdf of these sheets that have an area to draw in and lines for writing. He can do either do a step by step ‘How To’ or a story that he creates. I usually try to get him to do three different steps or parts of the story, but sometimes it’s just one page. Like when a dog barfs.

10:30 am – Snack and recess. Usually 20 min. I’ll sometimes go do a workout with weights during our snack break, because someone has to protect the family from the wolves and bears up here in the mountains. 

11 am – Math and more reading. We use number bonds and number sentences. I have never seen bonds before but figured them out pretty quickly. Take that C- in high school math!! Elliot works on counting while Charlie does math. If it’s nice outside, I’ll send her to get a number of leaves or pieces of bark. Then we do adding or subtracting with those. And then she wants to draw again. She really likes to draw.

One more round of sight words then I have Charlie read three little books to Elliot. We’ve burned through all of our Bob Books and the Little Comics ones. They’re really good but I think Charlie is ready for level C. Any recommendations? Also, is anyone else dealing with their kid looking at the pictures instead of reading the actual words? Cheaters! I’ve started covering the pictures so he has to use the words. I’m mean.

12 pm – Lunch and recess and DONE. 

After lunch, we usually go outside and get some nature time. We can call it P.E. but it’s usually just a chance to feel like we’re not stuck indoors. Emily usually does arts and crafts with them in the afternoon or they help her with a project or they play with legos.  And that’s how we end the school day. We feel very lucky that they are young enough that we can really just feel good about playing with them a lot (which we do) and because Charlie is in public school there isn’t a rigid program or a bunch of zoom classes that we have to do, and Birdie is 4 so we feel like building a fort is more important than practicing her letters. 

That is like the “goal schedule” by the way, we don’t achieve it every day. In fact, the kids are downstairs right now on the iPad doing a learning app recommended by Charlie’s teacher, called ABC Mouse, because I have to write this post before Friday and Emily is on a conference call with her employees. And guess what? I’m gonna stop early and let them play because I don’t want to teach after writing this. I know that I’d be a Mrs. Green today because I’m tired, so I’m not gonna “hit myself”. And guess what else?? Tonight we’re gonna watch some TV with the kids, which we never did on most weeknights back in real life, but in crazy life, we watch way more tv than normal. And maybe that will change the longer this goes, but we’re totally fine with it for now because we all need joy right now. And guess what else, else??? We’re letting the kids stay up wayyyy later than we did in normal life because they’re sleeping in wayyyy later here in crazy life, which means an extra hour of quiet coffee time before school starts. And that’s why it’s nice to be the principal – I MAKE THE SCHEDULE! HA!

So, we are only 3 weeks in so it’s hard to make big statements. But if we look at this awful COVID thing as just a menacing older brother sitting on our collective chests, grabbing our wrists trying to make us hurt ourselves, maybe we can find little ways to fight back, stay sane and even enjoy some moments as wildly unprepared “teachers”. I know that little victories can seem insignificant in the face of such a daunting crisis, but if we open up the tunnel vision a bit, try to reframe it, we can carve out a little space that the darkness doesn’t own. And I think there’s hope in that. We can own our good times on our terms. If we are gentle with ourselves and our kids, if we take pride in what we’re able to do for our families during this sh*t-storm, if we give ourselves permission to fail and to make things easier for ourselves, if we can stop hitting ourselves, we can make the little victories feel enormous. 

In a weird way, we’ve been given an opportunity to spend some important time with our kids, and I know there’s a lot of pressure to get it right, but I’m learning that the thing I want to get right is my relationship with my kids so that after we get through this they don’t remember shouting about math, but laughing about buttcheeks. 

Stay safe and keep looking for the silver linings. And the white wine. And if you are a parent turned home school teacher, let’s collectively stop hitting ourselves. 

– Brian

The post Brian’s Magical Mind-Trick to Get Through Homeschooling the Kids (And Even Be a Better Teacher) appeared first on Emily Henderson.

A Review of a Friend’s book – Jen Gotch’s “The Upside Of Being Down”

I’ll start by saying that there is a clear thesis to this post – everyone should read Jen Gotch’s book, “The Upside To Being Down.” But if you need some convincing, allow me. Ahem.

The last long one-on-one I had with Jen Gotch was way too many months ago, but the 4-hour conversation over margaritas was about how I had just laid off two employees (completely my own fault, they were GREAT – more on that all later – it’s a whole thing). I was very upset/ashamed/embarrassed and I needed to talk to someone who knew me well, and could relate and empathize but not judge and make me feel even stupider than I already felt. You see despite being the founder of the fashion brand Ban.do she’s not great at the “business” part of running a business (which she writes about in the book). We have always shared that lack of talent (yay) as we approach our businesses and lives similarly caring more about “what we do”, and “who we do it with” than “how much we make” (this isn’t a good thing, and I’ve since made a huge shift to give that role to others). I can’t wait to fully write about my “adventures in running a creative business” but that’s not the point of this post.

photo by tessa neustadt | from: ban.do studio design: jen’s office

But the time I spent with Jen before that night was much happier (as my hangouts with her often are). We were swimming naked, not sober, at midnight in Venice. I came home shoe-less (Stolen! I would say, but likely I just forgot where I put them). She won’t be embarrassed about that story, but she might be embarrassed about this: Dear Jen, despite our only 5 years age difference (I think/who cares) and our seemingly equal friendship, you’ve always been a mentor to me and I look up to you A LOT. Again, it’s not like Jen was a business expert, she was me, five years in the future. She had 5 more years of running a business, five more years of mistakes/failings under her belt and I needed, and still need, all the lessons and advice from Jen Gotch. That’s the point – YOU ALL DO. 

That’s why this book is so riveting to me. As I was reading I could relate it, obviously, but so could all of my friends regardless of their career path or mental health. This book is so compelling and entertaining in many ways even if you haven’t spent 12 years as her friend. I couldn’t put it down. It feels like you are hanging out with a hilarious, open, non-judgemental friend whether you know her or not – and I think we all could use more friends right now.

Here’s a quick back story. I met Jen weeks after I moved to LA in 2008, attempting to transplant my pseudo thriving prop styling career during the writer’s strike recession. She was a stylist, I was a stylist, so we met at her house for a drink and the chemistry flew fast. She was (and is) effortlessly herself, which makes anyone in her presence also themselves. This also happens to be an admitted talent of mine, so you might imagine that two people who can equally share vulnerabilities might bond quickly. We did. 

She was barely days, maybe weeks, into starting Ban.do and couldn’t take on as many styling clients as usual. So she did the most generous thing someone could do (which I’ve tried to repeat myself) – she referred me for every job she couldn’t take herself, essentially giving away her work to help someone else thrive. I know her well enough to know that she has an ego (as do I), but our brand of ego is the same and unthreatened by contemporaries or “competitors,” and instead threatened more by personal attacks. But again, we are both bad at traditional “business” and I suppose you would put “giving away clients” on the “bad things to do when running a business” list. But not us!!  

While I identify SO MUCH with the “creative business” journey in this book, it’s also clearly about something else that I don’t personally identify with, and yet could totally relate to – mental illness. 

photo by tessa neustadt | from: ban.do studio design: jen’s office

She told me early on in our friendship about her struggle with mental illness. I don’t remember her exact words but she implied that it was very, very, very bad, “Like sometimes I can’t get out of bed for a week and I’ve been on a million different medications to fix me.” I didn’t believe her. I didn’t think she was lying or exaggerating, it just seemed impossible. Her level of self-awareness is (and was) high, like 10/10. And back then, to a more ignorant me, that fact went against her case. Similar to how a narcissist wouldn’t ever call themselves a narcissist (true story), I thought no one this open, this aware, this FUNNY about their “mental illness” could actually be mentally ill. Whenever Brian hung out with her (he loves a Jen Gotch) he would say the same thing, “there is no way – she seems so healthy and funny.” But of course what we didn’t realize, and why she is so special, is that she wasn’t hiding it. She was just progressive enough to get ahead of it. Evolved enough to accept it and speak openly about it, which especially 10 years ago was alarmingly refreshing. I suppose that was confusing (and awakening) to others, myself included, back then. 

When Brian and I were going through some darker times, Jen referred me to her therapist, Laurel (a huge “character” in the book). It’s the one and only time I’ve been to my own therapy session (except as a teenager, when forced by my parents to figure out why I was being rebellious – ha). I remember that therapy session vividly, with Laurel, I bawled the whole time and even though I knew I couldn’t afford to return. Laurel advised, “I think if you can only spend the money on therapy for one of you, it should maybe be him.” Six months later Brian started going to therapy (not with her, but still life-changing and he wrote about it here). And 6 years later I’m really wishing I had stuck with therapy, too, with Laurel. I need therapy, I do, but I’m pretty great at acting like I don’t. 

While reading the book I felt both super connected to the story that I knew, and riveted about the parts of the story I didn’t know. I had hung out with Jen throughout this writing process and despite her frustration with writing a memoir, it propelled our conversations faster and farther. The “I’m Very Busy” chapter is filled with all the gross philosophies that many female “entrepreneurs,” like us, have co-opted (or not) from male culture, with generally bad results. I highlighted EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE of that chapter, despite already knowing I was personally doing better because of our past conversation on the topic. If you are a potential female “entrepreneur” please read this book. 

I’ve recommended this book to many women, and we all relate and identify with different parts of it. I wasn’t raised like Jen, but also feel like what I used to think was parental failings actually led to my overall success (a lesson you don’t learn ’til you are middle-aged – if you are lucky to learn at all). I’ve never personally dealt with real mental illness of my own, just the occasional situational anxiety and yet could totally relate to that twenty-something Jen wrote about. My friends all relate to different aspects of the book, too – maybe it’s the relationship with her mom or her dad, maybe it’s the struggle for self-worth (which has also historically seemed unbelievable to me – she’s one of the most likable people on the planet, how could she not see that???), maybe you relate to being co-dependent, the endless search for love or not ready for “adulting.” Point is, this book is bigger than just being about mental illness or running a creative business, although those two plots woven together really do tell the most compelling personal story.

photo by tessa neustadt | from: ban.do: the front room

For me, most importantly, it’s about honesty, vulnerability, and transparency. Women are better at it now than they were 10 years ago, and decades ahead of men in this emotional field (in my personal opinion). But Jen Gotch has been a pioneer of imperfection since I met her. She’s been the voice of vulnerability before it was cool. Let’s keep going. She’s the head honcho of honesty and the top dog of transparency. If nothing else, I guarantee this book will inspire to tell your story, just as I am more inspired to share about mine, because at the end of the day it’s all we’ve got. Our stories are our only real valuable personal commodity. And if you can create a successful and joy-inducing business by making headbands out of your garage, being hilarious, and talking openly about your mental illness, then maybe we all have a chance. Maybe we all can use our failings to indeed create our own “success,” whatever that looks like to you. 

So if you are interested (and I hope now YOU ARE) buy Jenn’s book, The Upside of Being Down. It’s a fast, funny, heartwarming, sad and hopeful read, told to you by a friend, about subjects that are usually not any of those things. **UPDATE – its now a NY TIMES Bestseller!!!!!!!! CONGRATS, Jen. May you finally get your “National Treasure’ Award, too.

The post A Review of a Friend’s book – Jen Gotch’s “The Upside Of Being Down” appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Weekend Art Project: Easy Kids DIY Silhouette Portraits

In an attempt to force my kids to relive my childhood I wanted us to all do silhouettes for their room in LA, just as I did as a wee lady. Of course in the ’80s we had to use a school projector and trace the wall, but with modern technology, you can really just slap a thin piece of paper on your laptop and trace your face. Sure, if you do it small it can be really tedious, but the size you see above was pretty darn easy.

Here is a little video to see us in DIY action:

The “Ingredients”

I forgot to take an ingredient shot because I’m a terrible DIY blogger, but here’s what you need:

Black and white paper (can be fancy, construction or printer paper)A pencilScissorsGlue stick A phone cameraA laptop, desktop or tablet A Picture frame



Step 1 – Take Photo

Take a side profile photo (your phone is fine) of the child against a white wall. Ideally the hair would be in a ponytail or even “messed up” a bit because those little hairs actually make it look the most real (but are the most tedious to cut). You may have to have them look slightly towards you if say, their cheeks are so big that you can’t really see definition of their nose

DESIGN MISTAKE: Too Much Furniture In One Room (With Real Life Agonies)

design by samantha gluck | photo by alison bernier | from: house tour: a warm scandi-inspired home

I think it’s safe to say that we all have been staring at our furniture a bit more these days. Strange coincidence, I know. But if you’re ready/desperately want to shake things up in your space that requires the lowest of lift on a zero budget then this post might just give you the inspiration to do so. A few weeks ago we did a “design agony” call out to all you lovelies on Emily’s IG stories asking you to send us that space in your home that just doesn’t feel quite right. The number one design dilemma we got asked was, “Help, how do I layout my living room?”

Now, what if I told you ALL OF THEM had a common denominator. We realized it wasn’t so much how the furniture in the space was laid out as much as there was just too much of it or not enough in the right scale. Shocking and true. The good news though is that it’s a pretty easy fix. That’s how our new “Design Mistake: Too Much Furniture” was born.

So are you looking at your room again, now thinking this may be your problem too?? Well, today we are going to give all of the tips and tricks you need TO FIX/AVOID this happening to you with the help of our real reader’s living rooms agonies. We all get to learn together

The Definitive EHD Paint Post Round Up (And Why This Is The Perfect Time To Paint)

design by ginny macdonald for ehd | photo by zeke ruelas | from: ginny’s dining room reveal

We talk about paint A LOT as many of you probably know. But in all fairness how can we not when it’s a lifechanging product that only makes our lives happier (and prettier and usually at a decent price)? Wellllll ok, it only makes your life happier (and prettier) once you’ve finally chosen a color and slapped it up on your walls. Until then, it feels like the hardest decision likely of your life. I’m pretty sure I had multiple waking nightmares deciding between five different shades of the “the right white”(see here for proof of that process). But the best thing about THIS post is it has ALL of the paint posts we’ve ever done in one easy to find place (maybe this is a good time to bookmark?). So in here, you will find all our favorite tips, tricks, and colors which will hopefully help to make your decision making much easier.

Per the title, you might be wondering why we are so confident that now is the perfect time to paint. Well, we believe in the transformative power of color and visual physical change. Despite the temporary agony, changing my sad “apartment beige” to a “happy white” made my life feel different because every day I woke up, saw my freshly painted walls and it made me instantly happier (and a year later still does). And we think that right now, to break up the monotony of our days and giving ourselves a new visual lease on life (after a little manual labor) will likely do a world of difference for your overall state of mind.

Heck, even our very own Caitlin did a little research and found that Clare (a paint company) will send you wall sticker swatches to test out before you can also order the paint to your door (no in-store shopping needed). You just might be seeing a personal project post very soon:) But actually there are a few companies (both big and small) that we looked up, to help you get the paint and supplies you want safely. Here is what we found…

Backdrop – Wall sticker samples, paint supplies and paint shipped to your home.Benjamin Moore – Online shop will ship samples, supplies, and color deck, order online for in-store pickup same day.Clare – Wall sticker samples, paint supplies and paint shipped to your home.Farrow & Ball – Samples and gallons shipped to your home.Home Depot – Free home delivery with orders over $45Sherwin-Williams – Order online for in-store pickup same day.Target – Samples and gallons shipped to your home.

Of course, if your local hardware store carries paint, be sure to call and see if they offer online or over the phone pickup orders. It’s always important to support our small businesses if we can.

Now before we get into all of Emily and the team’s favorite colors we want to reiterate our Painting PSA: Please test before taking the color plunge by painting a sample on either a large piece of paper and taping to the wall or painting a decent-sized swatch directly onto your wall. Then observe the shades during different times of day to see how they interact with your sunlight. Depending on the room’s natural light, the color could look very different depending on the time of day and the room. Save time by taking a little extra time. The more you know:) The End.

Ok as promised let’s get INTO these paint posts…

My 10 Go-To Paint Colors



photo by tessa neustadt | from: 7 fool-proof ways to design a home you truly love

This post is the ORIGINAL paint post. It may be a little vintage but the colors are just as beautiful. We stand by them.

THE NEUTRALS



My Go-To Neutral Paint Colors



photo by tessa neustadt | from: how we styled our living room to sell

The original neutrals post. Again just as relevant!

15 of Our Absolute Favorite Go-To White & Gray Paint Colors

Here is the new and improved neutrals post with all of our current favorites.

Are We Done With Gray? We Explore + A “How Do You Pick The ‘Right’ Gray Paint” Tutorial



photo by bethany nauert | from: fdr chic – a dude’s mix of antique, mid-century and bohemian style

Gray was HUGE in the early ’00s. Then somewhere along the line the design world seemed to not care as much about this once color celebrity, thus begging the question…Are we done with gray? HINT: Only certain tones:)

THE NON-NEUTRALS



My Favorite Non-Neutral Paint Colors



photo by tessa neustadt | from: charlie’s big boy room reveal

Not into white, gray or beige??? Well then here is our first non-neutrals post. May the color be with you!

12 Bold Blue and Green Paint Colors We’ve Tested (& Approved) So You Don’t Have To



photo by sara ligorria-tramp for ehd | from: the portland kitchen renovation reveal

If you look at our portfolio, it’s no surprise we are suckers for blue and green. So we thought we might as round them up all in one post.

Shop Our Favorite Pastel Paint Colors (For Grown-Ups)



photographer mike kelley | from: the fig house lounge – before & after

There is NO SHAME in the pastel loving game people. Speaking of Caitlin, she said this post spoke to her pale color-loving soul long before she worked at EHD.

Our All-Time Favorite #Adulting Bedroom Paint Colors That Aren’t White

Want a colorful room that feels adult but also relaxing? Look no further.

2019 Paint Color Trends



design and photo by dabito of old brand bew

Why not see what the rest of the design world is painting their walls, right? Also, if ever I needed proof that a bright yellow dining room could be chic, message recieved.

PAINTING TIPS AND TRICKS



Painting Soon? Here’s a Crash Course on Paint Finishes So You Get It Right the First Time



photo by sara ligorria-tramp for ehd | from: arlyn’s dark, moody dining room makeover takeover

Not only can finding the right color be daunting BUT THEN you need to make sure to find the right finish. We wanted to make that process as painless as possible with this post.

Finally A DIY Anyone With A Paint Brush Can Do: A Series Of The Best Paint Ideas On The Internet



photo by jens bösenberg berlin | design by ester bruzkus | via yellowtrace

Are you wanting to do something a bit more “out of the box” with your paintbrush? Well, this post is FULL of easy ideas to give your space that special edge.

The Painted Trim – High Impact, Low Cost (One Girl’s Journey + All The Tips & Tricks)



photo by matthew williams | via country living

Wait, trim is an awesome opportunity to make your home feel a little more custom. When designing , Sara did a deep dive into all things painted trim and laid out everything she learned for your viewing (and doing) pleasure.

Trend Alert (?) Is The Accent Ceiling The New Accent Wall? + 5 Easy (and Budget-Friendly) Ways To Take Your Room To The Next Level



design by pierre yovanovitch | via remodelista

Don’t forget about the most forgotten wall in your home. Guys, just look up! It’s your ceiling. Talke about an opportunity for an incredible design statement that won’t take over your room (you know since it’s not in your immediate eye line).

Well, there you have it! All of your painting posts in one very convenient spot. We will keep adding as we will likely do many more paint posts in the future. It’s the gift that just keeps on giving. So if you’re itching for a project that doesn’t require any training, or just need to feel like a fresh start is on the horizon, seriously consider painting a room in your house.

Let us know if you have any painting plans and what colors you are thinking about. We honestly love talking about paint…if you couldn’t already tell.

Love you, meant it.

Opening Photo Credits: Design by Ginny Macdonald for EHD | Photo by Zeke Ruelas

The post The Definitive EHD Paint Post Round Up (And Why This Is The Perfect Time To Paint) appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Budget Power Couples: Beds And Nightstands For Every Style (All Under $600)

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: makeover takeover: julie’s huge (and diy packed) bedroom upgrade

Just yesterday I had the pleasure of talking about my love for bedding and now I am going full circle to chat about nightstand and bed combos. It’s a BEDROOM PARTY and it’s BYOB (bring your own blanket).

Full disclosure: I am currently living without a bed frame which a few years ago I might’ve told you is an intentional ~stylistic~ choice, inspired by the Parisian studio apartments I’ve seen all over Pinterest. You know, the ones with high ceilings, a balcony overlooking town square, a mattress on the floor, and books stacked lazily in lieu of a nightstand (because French women are sophisticated enough have their apartments be a bit of a hot mess). I used to envision myself in this type of Holly Golightly-esque apartment that is so unfinished it comes across as cool, my only roommate being a pet cat named Cat. But alas, my apartment doesn’t have the old-world charm that would allow me to get away with being an adult who sleeps on a mattress on the floor (and I guess my style’s changed a bit, too). C’est la vie.

But if EHD has taught me anything it’s that the right bed frame and nightstand combo can really show off your personal style and will likely make your room feel as good as it looks. So if you are like me and have yet to FINALLY make a decision on a bed or nightstand (or you’re ready for an upgrade)… we put together 12 combos that are guaranteed to work and look GOOD. Also, let’s be honest, right now we all want our bedrooms to look and feel like the oasis we need.

But before we get to the real fun, a few rules to note (which we’ve talked about before in our bedroom rules post– but a refresher never hurt anyone).

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: the coziest upstairs guest “bunk” bedroom



Rules For Picking A Nightstand



24”-27” is the ideal height for a nightstand but a good rule of thumb is make sure the height is within the range of 5″ higher or lower than the top of your mattress.Keep your nightstand to scale with your bed. The average nightstand is 20″x20″ which will work for most beds. However, for larger beds (like a King) you can use a larger nightstand (up to 40″) and smaller beds (like twins) maybe go a little smaller.Space permitting, you ideally want at least 36″ around all walkways to comfortably get around your space. If your room is tight and doesn’t allow for a good amount of space to walk then you could consider pushing the bed up against one wall or downsizing your bed to fit with the scale of the room. Have fun with style/shape! (and mix-matching nightstands is totally doable if not encouraged:)).



photo by tessa neustadt | from: 1 bedroom 4 ways with the citizenry

Here’s a perfect example of a not-your-typical nightstand that still follows the aforementioned rules. The pedestal shape doesn’t take up a lot of visual or physical space and brings in a hint of traditional to this otherwise modern-scandi bedroom. And I will never not be fan of books lazily stacked on the floor, FYI.

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: this organic, punchy bedroom might be our new favorite makeover

In this bedroom, you can see how the nightstand is scaled to the size of the bed. It’s wider than your typically nightstand but it works because the bed and the space are both large enough.

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: emily bowser’s bedroom “after” is unrecognizable from the “before”

In Emily Bowser’s master bedroom reveal, her small nightstands paired perfectly with her small space and DIY’d headboard. The nightstands fit snugly between the bed and the wall, and therefore don’t stick out and block the walkway to the door. Again, taking note of your space and scale is key to choosing your nightstand.

Alright, you guys are experts now so you’ve probably had enough of my babbling. So to take up the rest of your afternoon, here are our budget nightstand/bed combos that we love love love (and many that I want want want).

Slattum Bed & Porthos Home Jordan Side Table | 2. Pooler Queen Upholstered Standard Bed & Curved Terrace Nightstand | 3. Queen Azure Mei Upholstered Standard Bed & Ria Nightstand | 4. Avenue Greene Gwen Modern Metal Bed & LISTERBY Nightstand | 5. Dean Sand Eastern King Upholstered Panel Bed & Jaxpety Nightstand Bedside Table |6. Mitzi Nightstand & Francis Upholstered Platform Bed From Serta | 7. Antoinette Traditional Fully-Upholstered Queen-Size Bed Frame & Pelham End Table with Storage | 8. Carson Carrington Blaney Queen Solid Pine Wooden Spindle Bed & Cecille Groove Handle 2 Drawer Nightstand | 9. Leanora Wood Platform Bed Ash Walnut & Annette Side Table | 10. Copper Grove Ayrum Upholstered Bed Frame with Square Tufted Headboard & Wyatt Nightstand | 11. Queen Quezada Platform Bed & Touraco Nightstand  | 12. Leyton Mid – Century Modern Fabric Upholstered Platform Bed & VIKHAMMER Nightstand

Let us know if you have tried any of these pieces out and tell us what you think! Hope this helps whoever needs it right now.

The post Budget Power Couples: Beds And Nightstands For Every Style (All Under $600) appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Book 2!!! Help Me Pick The Cover and Title (Plus The Shots That Didn’t Make The Cut)

My second book is due in a couple of months (eek, and not in a cute “eek” kinda way), and the cover and title decision can’t wait until life gets back to normal. As you know I like to crowdsource all my major life decisions so today I’m showing you the options to get your input, I’ve got it down to two. We had so much fun shooting it (months ago, obviously) and while there can only be one cover, I love most of these a lot. Here you go:

I want this book to be a classic, something that is timeless so – we could go more classic, thus “The Drapes of Wrath”, which seems kinda timely for these darker days but I think that “Wrath” might be too off-brand for me. Being the huge romantic that I am, I’m leaning more towards “Eat, Pray, Loveseat” as loveseats are the unsung heroes of living room seating, so plugging it into the title certainly makes me happy. That subtitle also feels right to me.

I collaborated with Daniel Craig on “The Girl With The Style Breakthrough” and you guys, he is as lovely in person as he seems (and very handsome). It does feel more like my first book title to me, with an emphasis on style, not design. “Style And The City” is what my publisher is leaning towards, but having two children that are likely going to read this book someday, I kinda wish I hadn’t posed nude for that shoot.

These two really didn’t feel right to me. “A Tale of Two Settees” just doesn’t pop color-wise. And while “Couch 22” has a nice punch of color, I don’t even really say “couch” and much prefer the word “sofa”. It’s like “vase” or “VAHHZE,” our rule is if it’s over $100 you pronounce it VAHZE (rhyming with Oz), under $100 its “vase,” like base, FYI. Free tip!!

I LOVE this one and almost called it the day of the shoot – THIS IS IT. Ryan (Gosling) felt strongly about shooting in real rain versus a set (or doing something in post-production, my suggestion) which made the shoot itself hard but admittedly he was right and it turned out beautiful. Please note the size of my hand.

Now for the FINAL COVER IMAGE – ARE YOU READY????

I’m so, so happy with it. Bringing in Patrick Swayze (RIP that national treasure) is what tipped it from “good” to the quiet whisper of “yes, that’s it, that is THE cover.” I hope you agree

All The Bedding Combos EHD is Coveting (And Some Products We Have And LOVE)

As I sit on my bed writing this, I am reminded how fortunate I am to have this space that acts as my own personal oasis. Quarantine, if nothing else, has opened my eyes to how much peace a bedroom can bring. Now more than ever comfortability and security have been top of mind and what is more comforting than a bed?? I can’t summon a better comparison (though my boyfriend will argue that’s because I love sleep more than the average adult human. OKAY FINE. Sue me). But nevertheless, I know I am not alone because today EHD is all on board to talk about the best and most fun part about designing a bedroom. These are our dream bedding combos and I would gladly cuddle up in every one of them.

But first, if you’ve ever wanted to know Emily’s everyday bed styling techniques (I know I have) this video will give you the inside scoop:

Emily







Channel Switch Velvet Quilt | 2. Luxe Core Sheet Set in Graphite Grid| 3. Luxe Duvet Cover | 4. Logan Body Pillow | 5. Pinstripe Blanket | 6. Duvet Insert | 7. Soft Down Pillow

I love my bed and bedding, so I’m just going to recommend what I have up here at the mountain house. The pillow and duvet inserts are my favorites in weight and fluff (they are fluffy but really squishy so they look big and full but really aren’t). Brian likes pillows that are like 4 years old and lumpy…. So we don’t need to talk about them. I love this quilt, it’s so soft and that punch of color makes me really, really happy. I definitely pull it up in the middle of the night when I get chilly. And lastly, if we are talking about bedding we might as well talk about pajamas too. You guys know I love a pajama set and this one is my absolute favorite (so thin but not see-through, drapes really well, easy to layer, doesn’t cut-in and so cozy. I wear it year-round).

Sara







Hearth & Hand Striped Lumbar Pillow | 2. Nublado Round Pillow | 3. Quilt in Coal | 4. Organic Crinkled Sheets | 5. Airy Gauze Throw Blanket | 6. Cloud Cotton Duvet Cover Set

I was super excited for this assignment, mainly because I love bedding. But I didn’t really know where to start, so I started combing through my recent bedroom pins to see if there were any trends I was subconsciously into. Turns out that trend is neutral bedding – are we surprised? NOT REALLY. But one thing that did surprise me was that a few of those pins had a trendy new color popping up – rust. So I used that as much starting point. Bring in a rust piece, and build around it with softer neutrals. I call this look the muted graphic. I personally abhor stonewashed linen on my bed – I’ve had it before and it’s so heavy and stiff. And I need my bedding to be soft and instantly warm, so I went with soft wrinkle friendly cottons, and warm gauzy materials in my dream bedding board.

Veronica







Microfiber Sheet Set | 2. Shelly Round Velvet Pillow | 3. Line Art Wink Throw Pillow | 4. Rumi Shag Body Pillow | 5. Faye Braided Throw Pillow | 6. Diamond Tuft Throw Blanket | 7. Buffy Breeze Comforter | 8. Waffle Kit Fringed Throw Blanket

Ok after seeing all that, you are probably thinking “whyyyy so much white?” and it’s because my room is literally a black hole (not literally, but you get it. It is very dark in there most of the time and my roommate jokes that “we live in darkness”), and I would love nothing more than to give it more life and light with a brighter color palette. I have no windows in my room, only one door out to the balcony, and it can get a little doom and gloom sometimes, ya feel me?? The reason I picked this color combination/inspiration is because I am super into the Boho style of rooms and my current room is the exact opposite (I mean how cute is that winky pillow?! It’s giving me major Parisian Cafe vibes. And the orange fringe blanket?! Come onnnn). Even though I am a very warm sleeper as I’ve discussed before, I still love to cuddle up with blankets when called for; Hence, why I have two very fun options! My color palette right now is pretty dark and I think it’s time to change that! The Boho style is super vibrant and cute, and I need something that’s going to add some sunshine to my day the second I wake up to get me going. And yes, I do plan on getting hanging plants to bring in even more life

Caitlin’s Minimalist Maximalist Makeover Takeover Style Intro – Things Are About To Get COLORFUL

design by black lacquer design

We are getting WEIRD and BRIGHT today, folks. It’s the introduction to my MOTO and an overview of my interior style, which I’ve hereby deemed “Minimalist Maximalist.” Also if you don’t know what a MOTO is, it’s short for MakeOver TakeOver. The basic gist is that each member of the EHD team gets to design their homes and show them to you on the blog. It’s truly the coolest. Now back to me explaining my style:)

Minimalist maximalist isn’t sparse, but it’s not cluttered, either. What it lacks in stuff, it makes up for in color, shape, and texture. It’s clean and bright — a little space age and a little 80s, with some geometric and biomorphic shapes, peppered in for good measure. 

I’m going to walk you through what makes the minimalist maximalist style work, how I’m planning to implement it into my own home, and why you should hop on the color lover train with me

Where Do You Put Your Litter Box??

Now that we’re spending so much time inside, we are confronted, face to face, with our own disgustingness. (Showering with disappointing frequency? Same here. Eating cheese straight out of the bag? Thought it was just an archetype, but nope, here we are…) But today, I want to shift blame and focus on something else: our cats’ disgustingness.

Unless you’re one of the few who have trained your cat to use a toilet (which, I know you can do, but HOW?), you probably have to deal with the litter box and all the grossness that inevitably comes along with it. But honestly, it’s not the litter — it’s the aesthetics of this gray, lumbering, plastic monstrosity. It’s just…so THERE. All the time. Today, we are going to work together to tackle this problem.

Here’s the truth: this is a new annoyance for me. I adopted my cat, Buffalo, nearly 7 years ago and have never had an opinion about her litter box — I’ve always acknowledged it as a necessary evil and tolerated it as one of the things that just goes along with cat ownership.

But y’all, I now desperately need some help because I AM NOW LOOKING AT THIS BOX ALL THE TIME. I know someone out here has a smart fix that I can implement and I WANT YOUR HELP. 

This is it. Welcome to my kitchen — linoleum floor, 1930s cabinets (nothing says “vintage LA apartment” like 90-year old doors that don’t close), tile countertops, and my new nemesis: the litter box. This is truly the only spot in my house where I can keep it — and size-wise, it does feel like a perfect little alcove — so I’m trying to make it work. 

But here’s the root of my problem: when I walk into my kitchen now (which is probably about once every 30 minutes, if I’m being honest), it’s ALL I can look at. It simultaneously takes up too much space (it sticks out a little, length-wise) and not enough space (there’s a ton of room on both sides). I need your help here because it feels so easy and fixable and I just want to cross SOMETHING off my to-do list. 

Here’s what I’m considering: 

I’ve seen people cut holes in custom furniture, but that doesn’t really make sense for this space…or does it? What piece could go here that makes sense?Do those fake plant litter boxes ACTUALLY look good in person? Maybe that? Maybe I can do a tension rod across and just curtain if off? But what about the opening at the top? Should I try and build a window breakfast bar (I do think I have enough space for 2 barstools — I have about 6’ of window space) and hope that it just distracts from the box down below? Do I just stop getting snacks every 5 minutes, therefore reducing my exposure to the litter box? (Probably not a terrible idea to at least try and implement this a little, honestly) ??? 

In an effort to solve this conundrum, I asked some fellow cat owners from team EHD how they manage their litter (read: I wrote a bunch of complaints about it in Slack and asked someone to figure out a fix) but it turns out that we all have our struggles. (Just like everyone else, baby!)

Sara

“I truly CANNOT believe Caitlin convinced me to take a photo of my current litter box situation and then post it on the internet for everyone to see. There are at least 10 different health code violations happening in this corner of my house, and about 7 of them are related to the color palette of my kitchen. Do we think it’s disgusting to have our litter box in our kitchen? Yes. Do we think it’s even more disgusting to have our litter box under our open pantry? Extremely yes. But where else does it go? In our living room? Our BEDROOM? We’ve no room for it in our bathroom. We also have the fun chore of figuring out where to hide a second litter box, because we have two cats (the second one is currently in our empty master bathroom, which is literally just a box with subflooring and drywall). HELP.“

Veronica

“My roommates and I were very lucky to find an apartment with an enclosed balcony even though we didn’t have the plan of getting a cat when we moved in. We adopted our sweet lil’ kitten about a month ago and keep his litter box on the balcony. My roommate and I share the balcony and both have doors that lead out there, so one of us always keeps a door open so he can access it. Pros are that it is out of the way and any litter that gets out of the box is already outside.