Emily Henderson's Blog, page 215

What Living Alone, Not Hugging Anyone for 53 Days and A LOT of Self Reflection Looks Like

I have talked about my childhood dreams of living alone before on this blog. It has been a thing for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t because I hated my parents or my upbringing, quite the opposite actually. I think it was because I would prove I was capable, smart and was worthy of true respect (which for some annoying reason does not automatically come once your new house keys are placed into your adult hands). Again my parents loved and respected me but I clearly have some self-confidence issues to work through.

So in all of my years of fantasizing, you know what wasn’t a part of my magical “Kate Hudson in How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days Fantasy”?? A global pandemic quarantine. Short-sighted of me? I guess so. But a global pandemic came nonetheless and I was all of a sudden faced with the reality that I was alone and pretty in shock. Of course, my endless gratitude for video chats with friends and family was noted daily in my head but now I was being put to the task of inevitable self-evaluation. I also felt a little extra isolated due to the fact that while two of my close friends were in the same “alone” situation, most everyone else I knew wasn’t. I’m 32, so most of the people in my life in my age group are either in a pretty serious relationship, married with kids, or living with roommates (the ones with roommates are living in expensive cities like New York so roommates are basically required if you are single). However, one wonderful EHDer was also going through this in the same way I was (alone) and that beauty was Caitlin.

Normally living alone is almost always wonderful. We are HUGE fans. But then shelter in place was ordered and naturally, that perspective shifted a bit.

Please know that I know this weird time has likely made everyone look at what the eff they are doing with their lives. Or what they have become. Or how they deal with things, whether that’s by yourself in a small studio or with a big family in a big house. But Emily and the rest of the team were understandably curious what our experience has been like so that’s why we are here, to get maybe too honest about the lies we didn’t know we were telling ourselves (mainly me), what we have generally learned (or haven’t) and what is even relevant due to the fact that THIS TIME ISN’T NORMAL LIFE. Please join us because my god could we use the company.

I’ll start.

I am not a stranger to being by myself. Within a two year period, starting about 5 years ago, I had moved to three different cities and while I had some friends within driving distance I spent a lot of time by myself. So I wasn’t worried that I was going to go into a deep depression for a lack of face to face interaction. Don’t get me wrong, quality time is my #1 love language so spending time with friends is truly one of my most valued things in the world. But I am real good at following the rules and knowing this wasn’t going to be “forever” I felt pretty ok.

The moment I started to spin out was when I realized I had zero supplies. I am telling you aside from (thankfully) having a safe place to stay and luckily getting my hair done the day before the world freaked out (ha!), maybe no one was less prepared to shelter in place than me. Then I had a realization…

I’m not a minimalist but instead a privileged 32-year old that can get mostly whatever she needs with a click of a button.

This realization hit me like a ton of bricks when in the initial frenzy of the quarantine I quickly realized that I was anything but equipped to staying inside for an undetermined amount of time. No food, little toilet paper, no crafts, and one readable book. This felt like a glass shattering moment. Here I was walking around, silently congratulating myself with this idea that I didn’t require tons of things to feel happy and that I wasn’t going to end up like my hoarding grandmother. I thought it was learned from my “life experience” since I had moved a handful of times (including internationally) which made my ability to carry a heavy loot nearly impossible. So anything that wasn’t precious to me, went. But guess who was my secret beautiful storage unit…the consumer marketplace. I didn’t need to hold onto things that didn’t “spark joy” because I could easily find something else that would. After talking over this idea with Caitlin she sent me this tweet that perfectly summed up this idea:

“Minimalism only works when capitalism/consumerism is in full swing. I miss that bag of fabric that would have made AMAZING masks.” – Anna Bulbrook

Now I am not saying that I am about to become a packrat (visually clutter makes me noticeable nuts) but I am absolutely going to take a much closer look at my need to constantly get rid of things “I don’t currently need.” I will no longer pat myself on the back for ultimately falling for a false sense of security that our system has led us to trust. How’s that for week one of being alone? Let’s keep going.

My affinity for comedy is deeper than just wanting to be in a good mood.

I am aware that I tend to stay away from deeply sad, heavy entertainment (not always, but most of the time). Not to pull the “dead mom card” but I think it definitely started when she was sick which is now 11 years ago. I don’t think of myself as someone who “can’t handle” sad movies, books, tv shows but when I’m recommended “a great movie” but I know it’s heartbreaking, I decide to protect my usually tender heart and turn on something lighter. I don’t avoid sad feelings, but when I am 100% in charge of my activities (which is a lot when you live alone) I take them in the smallest of doses, like a song or a short article. I don’t think I am a HSP which was a new thing I learned about last year, but I am truly coming to terms that there is likely a deep vat of sadness in me that I am not all that willing to tap into on the regular, afraid it might take me off course of my celebrated glass half full optimism. I promise I’m not boiling water, ready to explode the top off of the pot but I do think that I am avoiding (you’ll see it’s a BAD pattern) dealing with the darkness. And don’t get me wrong I love darkness and emotional depth. I think it’s a beautiful part of life which makes me even more irritated that I am clearly ignoring my own.

I’m avoidant, not busy.

This was THE thing I was going to really work on this year in my personal life. Despite my complete and utter exhaustion with my inability to deal with “hard things” head-on when I am the one not 100% in the right or that my opinion might hurt someone I love, I haven’t been able to stop. But guess what is a grrrreat excuse to putting those hard things off…life. However “life” or what used it to be, is no longer an excuse (it never was) or an obstacle. Now I get to sit in my self-built misery, paralyzed to move with LITERALLY zero excuses. I don’t even have a cute animal to blame it on. Nope, it’s just me.

Ok sure, we are in an unprecedented situation for our time and if there’s ever a time to give yourself a break, it’s now. But this is not new so what am I going to do? I honestly don’t know. I will say I’m working on it, and I really hope I do. If I find a magical hack or likely a good therapist, I’ll let you know.

Now for my last but definitely not the final lesson of this quarantine. Will they ever stop?

I didn’t fully appreciate my life.

Gross. But in a selfish confidence of good karmic rewards, I have realized a secret part of me felt that the gifts, moments, friends I had were earned which subsequently meant I was taking them for granted. Sure, I work hard to show the people I love that I love them but in no way am I automatically allotted reciprocation for good deeds. Again my privilege was glaringly apparent and if I take one thing from all of this mess is that I am owed nothing and I will do my best to appreciate every bit of life and the people in it.

Caitlin, you’re up.

HELLO, PALS. Every day, I sign in and I read your comments — the ones about your kids making a mess, about your partner helping you tackle a project (or not), about rearranging your living room with your roommates, about what to watch when you’re quarantined with your parents or in-laws — and I, an adult person who has officially been totally alone for 53 days, feel like I MISSED THE FREAKIN’ BOAT.

Y’all, it’s like NOAH’S ARK out there. (Yes, I did attend a private Catholic school, and yes, this is about as much as I remember from theology class…sorry, mom.) ANYWAY — everyone has coupled up (or…throupled up? Quadupled up? — you get it, PEOPLE ARE TOGETHER) and I’m on my raft for one. It’s my own 2020 take on Rose at the end of Titantic — there’s no room for Jack Dawson in this little 1 bedroom apartment.

Most days, quarantining solo is pretty normal. I bet we’ve done a bunch of the same things — I’ve cut my own bangs. I’ve abandoned a craft project. I’ve texted an ex. I’ve texted the guy dated right before this — the one who never actually became a real ex — a whole lot. I’ve googled “is this COVID or allergies???” too many times. I’ve binged all of Tiger King. (I have not made banana bread or a sourdough starter, which is impressive. Also, can you believe that Tiger King came out AT THE END OF MARCH? In the same month that all of the Democratic primary contenders dropped out? It feels like it has been years.)

But here are the big differences: I had my last hug on March 9, which makes me really sad, and being alone for this long is starting to amplify some of my worst qualities.

On Losing Contact

Honestly, this just sucks, and it makes me sad to write about. Today marks 8 weeks since I even grazed another person. Touch is so polarizing now: on one end of the spectrum is me, rewatching a boomerang of me hugging a friend and thinking about how I am going to glom onto the first person I see once it’s safe; on the other end of the spectrum is a friend of mine with a four kids under 7, hoping for ONE MOMENT without a child attached to their person. There’s no winning here for anyone — I think that universally, we’re all either alone or a little overstimulated. At least we’re all uncomfortable, though, which I guess helps?

On Amplifying My Bad Qualities

This is kinda the big one for me, so let’s start with an anecdote: almost EVERY DAY, I make a box of macaroni and cheese. Instead of plating it (already a stretch, seeing as my only plates are Tupperware, because my design paralysis also extends to both table and flatware), I grab a trivet and eat it straight out of the pot at my desk in heaping spoonfuls. It honestly feels kind of primal and I think I may be scratching some itch in the weird hunter-gatherer part of my brain. I almost always finish the whole thing in under 6 minutes.

And guys, there are so many Instagram stories and posts telling me that this kind of behavior is okay. They say things like “surviving is more important than thriving” and “so much love to everyone who’s trying” and “self care is doing whatever you need to get through this”….but I don’t think anyone was referring to completely devolving into a Neanderthal-like version of themselves. I am legitimately just leaning into being gross for grossness’ sake.

Because I mean, I’m fine. I’m so lucky to be employed in a job I love (or employed in any job, period), in an apartment that makes me happy, with friends who care about me enough to check-in constantly. There’s no universe where I can say, “oh, I’m avoiding showering because it’s self-care.” I’m avoiding showering because I’m kind of lazy and I’m just capitalizing on my lack of social interaction for as long as I can. I always thought that with enough free time, I’d finally try and learn how to cook. Now, with LITERALLY all of the free time in the world, I am just too lazy to try. (My love affair with boxed mac and cheese continues.)

But it’s not just food, or bathing, or the general other horrifying habits I’ve developed — I’m starting to get EXTRA avoidant, with is kind of the opposite of what you’d expect. Outside of our daily EHD video meetings, I’ve refused (or slept through, oops) every Zoom or Houseparty invitation I’ve gotten since March 22nd. THAT’S TWO DAYS AFTER THE TIGER KING PREMIERE, you guys. FOREVER AGO. I’ve always been a little bit of a ghost-er (read: I am an enormous ghost — I have 1,820 unread text messages), but quarantine is just amplifying it.

I’m alone, so you’d think I should want to talk to people — but I just don’t. There’s nothing I can talk about. Here are my personal major life updates over the past 2 months: I’ve spent 7 straight days watching a bruise on my leg go from dark purple to yellow. I’ve updated a notebook detailing new growth on my Pothos plants every day. It hit 91 degrees in my apartment. I’m thinking about buying a comforter that Emily recommended. I got a sunburn while sitting on my balcony. I start checking our EHD analytics at 5 AM because I have nothing else to do. I’m buying some jasmine because y’all recommended it to me. THAT’S IT.

Does anyone actually want to talk about these things? Even typing them was boring. (Are you still reading? Please don’t leave, I’ll try to be more interesting!!!) Everything I do feels more like a tweet — one and done — and less like something worthy of actual conversation, so I’m just avoiding chatting. (To that point, my Twitter has never been more active. I’m filled with hot takes like “every member of Joy Division looks like they could have been a math teacher,” or “how could Zooey Deschanel be attracted to both Ben Gibbard AND a Property Brother?”)

But for the Most Part, It’s Okay

There are so many things that I really do miss. I miss distracting my coworkers with constant side conversations. I miss my daily lunchtime tacos and the weird friendships I’d forged with all the employees at our local taco stand. I miss doing the thing where you make intense eye contact with a person after someone else in the room says something weird. None of these are easily replicated or replaced when you’re living solo, and it stinks. It also stinks that my skin has never been clearer and THERE’S NOBODY HERE TO SEE IT. (And you just KNOW that as soon as this is lifted, I’m going to break out. THAT IS THE WAY OF THE UNIVERSE.)

But for real — the idea of having to do this with another person seems terrifying to me. I don’t know how you all are doing this. I’m sure it’s my only child syndrome talking, but I can’t imagine two months in the same space as another person with no breaks. I need my alone time, and while this may be a little too much alone time (like, guys, last night I cried because I was moved by this Twitter thread about a girl writing letters with USPS employees), I’m just embracing it for now. ANYWAY, I’M FINE, HOW ARE YOU DOING? I want to chat in the comments.

Ok, Jess again. Lastly, when this post was originally scheduled and mostly written when I was home alone for the long haul. But after 5 weeks and 2 days had passed and my dad asked me if I wanted to stay with him for a bit. After a lot of thought, dreams of some outdoor space/great cooking and a negative COVID test result (my dad, while a total badass, is 70, asthmatic and there was no chance I would not know to the absolute best of my ability that I was safe to be around him) I drove up North with zero bathroom breaks. A personal victory. Then with 37 days of not so much as a handshake, I hugged my dad and cried. The truly biggest lesson from all this is that all we have is each other and I know I am not alone in that. That lesson is evident regardless of your living situation.

Also, Caitlin get ready for the HUG OF YOUR LIFE when I see your super clear face

I think we are due for a little quarantine check-in as Caitlin just said. How are you doing? Better? Worse? The same? Have you had any good or bad epiphanies? We are here for you. xx

Love you, mean it.

Opening Photo Credit: Photo by Sara Ligorria-Tramo | From: Makeover Takeover: Jess’ Long Awaited (Small Space) Living Room Reveal

The post What Living Alone, Not Hugging Anyone for 53 Days and A LOT of Self Reflection Looks Like appeared first on Emily Henderson.

View more on Emily Henderson's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on May 04, 2020 11:00

The Complete EHD Outdoor Furniture Roundup (For Every Budget, For Any Size Space)

It really doesn’t matter how big or small our outdoor spaces are, they’ve likely been a lifeline these days, am I right? And now that the weather is really heatin’ up these streets, you might have thought that it’s A. Time to replace that old busted and rusted lounge chair or B. Your space has been too empty for too long and this is THE year you are going to make it the oasis of your dreams. Either way, if you are in the market for some new outdoor furniture I have spend hours looking up and down the internet to find the best (and most attractive) pieces on the market this year.

Last year, our contributor Lauren reminded anyone thinking about outfitting their outdoor space to really consider how they want to use it. Do you want a complete lounge area where only sunbathing (with ample sunscreen) and frozen margaritas are allowed? Do you want to add a dining space for alfresco dinners in those warm summer evenings? Do you want a lovely little reading nook so you can escape in more ways than one? Or a little bit of everything? There is no wrong answer because it’s yours!

Now before we get into this massive list check out these posts that are full of tips on how to create your oasis: How To Style Out Your Outdoor Space So You’ll Actually Use It (No Matter How Big Or Small It Is) | 5 Outdoor Ideas & Hacks That’ll Instantly Add Style (& Save You Money) | Two Reveals, One Post: The Portland Outdoor Living Spaces and A Lot of Styling Tips

Sofas and Sectionals

photo by zeke reulas | from: giving new life to our old wood deck

I want to start out by saying that outdoor furniture is an investment. You can, of course, take advantage of the sales (which there are a ton right now making a lot of this furniture cheaper than what these roundups say. We just always put the original price so when sales end no one is bummed). However, unless you can find a deal online or scour Craigslist, the bigger pieces are just not cheap. BUT these are pieces that are (ideally) going to last you many many years to come and withstand all kinds of weather:) So with that top of mind let’s get into the coziest of the outdoor furniture pieces…sofas (and sectionals).

There are a lot of great ones but I love #3 and #24 because they are neutral but have a ton of visual texture to them. Then #8 and #17 look not only super comfortable to sit in for lots of hours but they are also a bit more “fun” in terms of color and pattern. But I will always love that traditional beauty (#14) that Emily has on her patio. Also, this is a highly reviewed outdoor furniture protectant spray by both Amazon reviewers and CB2:)

Chaise Lounges and Day Beds

photo by sara liggoria-tramp | from: two reveals, one post: the portland outdoor living spaces and a lot of styling tips

Ah, the beauty of taking an afternoon nap on a lounge chair (added bonus if it’s poolside). I don’t think there is a better and yet more productive nap. You get rest AND a tan.

Again a hard choice but for the price, I love #5, #7, #10. But if I had a big budget then #12, #16, #17 would be in my cart so fast.

Lounge Chairs

photo by sara liggoria-tramp | from: 5 outdoor ideas & hacks that’ll instantly add style (& save you money)

If you don’t have space for a sofa or you have lots of room and need to fill it up, accent chair(s) are your answer. They are a great way to bring in more seating and mixing up the matchy-matchy look of a set. Just remember if you think you are going to spend a lot of time in them make sure it’s comfortable enough (hint hint go for some cushions).

I honestly can’t believe that #1 is an outdoor chair! If you buy it please know I am there in spirit. But speaking of cool, cushy outdoor chairs I also love #7 and #11.

Coffee Tables

photo by david stay for ehd

Well now that we have covered sofas and chairs, it’s now time to talk about coffee tables. A coffee table is an easy way to bring in some fun style and serious function (and likely a second dinner table).

Now a live edge table will also be a go-to for the EHD team so #3 is a no brainer favorite. But I also really love #5, #9, #10, #13 and #21. Honestly, this section is the hardest to pick my favorites.

Side and Accent Tables

photo by melissa oholendt | from: a foolproof way to create an outdoor room

Ok, actually all accent tables (whether it’s coffee or side) provide an opportunity to have some style fun. You can usually find them at a good price and since they are smaller in size they aren’t going to be as “loud” and take over the style of the space. Get crazy people:)

Dining Tables

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: how to style out your outdoor space so you’ll actually use it (no matter how big or small it is)

Eating outside when it’s warm (ok, not too warm) is THE BEST. Fresh salads and spritzes are the only things I want to be ingesting in the heat…well ok I also want some quality BBQ because duh. So please if you can, take advantage of your outdoor space and create an eating area.

When it comes to bistro tables I really love #23. It’s modern but still looks like it belongs outside. But if you have the room for a larger table then #6, #10, and #19 are great options.

Dining Chairs and Benches

photo by melissa oholendt | from: a foolproof way to create an outdoor room

Can’t have a table without chairs, right? Remember you can mix and match whether that’s the chairs themselves or the type of chairs (we do it all the time). I mean you can have captain chairs, side chairs, and a bench all at one table if you want. Just think again about comfort and how much time you want to sit on them. The more comfortable, the longer those summer nights can be:)

When it comes to dining chairs nothing has my heart like #5. Especially after I saw how Leanne Ford painted her’s a beautiful burgundy. But #21 is a great and much more affordable rattan option. Otherwise, I have a real soft spot for #1, #15, #16 and #21.

Bar Carts

photo by sara liggoria-tramp | from: 5 outdoor ideas & hacks that’ll instantly add style (& save you money)

Nearly every EHD outdoor space has included a bar cart. Why? Because they are the unsung hero of outdoor entertaining. They are perfect for holding drinks, plates, finger food, you name it.

It’s hard to deny the beauty of #5 although it’s not at the most affordable price point. We have used #1 and can vouch for its cuteness and quality. BUT if you want some serious function then #4 and #8 are the way to go.

Sets

photo by melissa oholendt | from: a foolproof way to create an outdoor room

This may be a bit controversial for EHD because our love for mixing and matching is strong but there is no shame in buying a set. If you are someone who just wants to click add to cart once and have most of your setup all set then please do that!

But if we do go for a set it’s usually for a small space or lounge area. When decorating a small space, having some pieces match can be a good thing. This way it won’t look too chaotic. On the other hand for large spaces, too much matchy-matchy can easily look one-note and won’t give you the visual interest you are probably looking for.

I actually really like them all! We did just use #9 (well the chairs at least) in our Target shoot this year and boy are they cute. I also think #2 is SUCH a good option for a small patio. Plus the table can fold up and tucked away so that the bench can act more as a sofa. What a dream!

Well if you can believe it we are done. I know this was a lot to digest but hopefully, now you are A LOT closer to creating your outdoor oasis. Oh and don’t forget about our online plant post because plants are such an important part of outdoor spaces (duh). Also if you are wondering where all of the accessories like rugs, fire pits, pillows, etc are, don’t worry! We are creating another massive post that will just be for accessories for you to spend lots of time digging through. Happy Monday and happy outdoor planning!

Love you, meant it.

Opening Photo Credits: Photo by Sara Ligorria-Tramp | From: The Finished Patio (with the tile!)

The post The Complete EHD Outdoor Furniture Roundup (For Every Budget, For Any Size Space) appeared first on Emily Henderson.

View more on Emily Henderson's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on May 04, 2020 01:00

Emily Tries & Fails (& Then Actually Succeeds?) In Making Kids “Bars” & Then Shows You All The Blurry & Messy Photos Of The Process Because, Well, That’s Where We Are These Days

This post was supposed to be titled “I Made Three Different Snacks That My Kids Love & Now I Won Life & Never Have To Buy Packaged Snacks Again.” Or my version of that anyway. I had two weeks to do it, but somehow only got to one snack, and failed at even properly making it or shooting it for the blog. I would say I have no idea where the hours, days, or weeks have gone, but I do:

It’s working, writing, listening to Brian try to homeschool, then putting my headphones on so I can’t hear (only to feel guilty about that), then cooking, DOING SO MANY DISHES, spending hours cleaning each day, trying to shoot fun content together (which really is fun), relieving Brian so he doesn’t purposefully poison himself just for a chance to lay in bed sans children, then of course playing with them (A LOT tbh – which is I love), and so many hours spent cooking of the actual meals that my intended snacks got neglected.

Also, I’ve been practicing my run-on sentences and not giving enough editing time for people to even fix it. The only real free time I have is after the kids go to bed, IF I don’t pass out with them which I usually do, and taking photos or videos in the dark isn’t pretty (which you’ll see proof of below). So . . . that’s where we are right now. Just doing our best and taking blurry photos of failed snack bars that I didn’t even invent, and calling it a blog post. Welcome to 2020

View more on Emily Henderson's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on May 03, 2020 11:00

The Link Up: A SALAD (Not Soup) That Emily Loves, Mallory’s $19 Leggings & Super Cute Printable Mother’s Day Cards

design by tamsin johnson | via coco kelley

In case you forgot it’s Sunday (because what are days anymore??) here’s our foolproof way to remind you: it’s link up time. In addition to being your calendar reminder, here at EHD we like to share what we’ve been reading, watching, and loving this week so let’s get straight to it:

First, we must talk about this week’s home tour (via Coco Kelley). Clearly, the designer has an eye for art and sculptural pieces, and that living room shot just scratches the surface. We are all heart eyes over here.

From Emily: “I’m cheating on ‘soups’ these days with the most delicious salad I’ve made now FOUR TIMES. How can a salad be so good? It’s called ‘the most crave-able fall salad that you won’t be able to quit’ and I don’t know if it’s just good salad branding, but I think about it a lot and want it all the time. Here’s why – it includes a homemade basil vinaigrette (that is so good – I now make a big batch for the week), it has sweet potato croutons (again, I now make a huge batch for the week) and is full of avocado, pepitas (I had no idea how key a nut is to a salad) and tiny chopped apples. I skip the cheese (mostly to conserve it since it’s already delicious enough) and add shredded chicken instead. I’m loving Sarah Adler’s cookbooks right now – everything feels easy, healthy, and light. Anyway, I wish I could take credit for it, but if I learned two things it’s A) homemade dressing makes a massive difference, and B) croutons don’t have to be from bread – these 1/2″ sweet potato squares area great on anything.”

Also From Emily: “Listen, I’m still in the ‘books that read like a movie’ phase of this Q, so I just finished The Herd, a brand new novel set around a fictional version of ‘The Wing’ – an all-female entrepreneur elitist social club. It’s a fast, fun, gossipy read that I read in a few days. And if you are into those types of books, An Anonymous Girl was what I had read right before that, also hard to put down (but not necessarily GREAT literature or anything) and now I’m ready to go to the EHD bingeable book list and tackle a new one (or start Donna Tart’s The Secret History again).”

From Ryann: “One of the best books I’ve read so far this year is now a TV series on Hulu. I am usually very skeptical of books turned into shows (e.g. Handmaid’s Tale which was good the first season but then fell off in my opinion) but I am really excited to see how the story is interpreted onto the screen. I’ll be sure to report back with my findings:)”

From Jess: One of my greatest joys is finding an incredible card at a card shop. My secret unused stash will prove that. Very unfortunately, going to a card shop isn’t happening for Mother’s Day this year. But Molly Hatch has some SUPER cute printable cards for $3 and the sweetest FREE IOU printable certificates you can send your mother if you can’t be with her this year. But don’t forget that Etsy also has a ton of great cards (like this one or this one).

Also From Jess: “I love this house tour! It’s modern, joyful, and full of special moments. I’d call it “Casual Modern Hollywood Glam”

View more on Emily Henderson's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on May 03, 2020 01:00

The Family Room A Year Later – What We Did Right, And What We Didn’t Need

The “Family Room” is getting a lot of use and abuse these days (maybe love, too?) from all of us – whether you have kids or not. I designed ours to be highly practical and functional for our family, (and I wasn’t far off this time – YAY) but even so, after living up here I’ve realized some key rules that you can follow for your day to day “family room’ life. The furniture all turned out to be spot on, no regrets, but with real use (and abuse) comes some easy changes that have made our life easier to live in (AND CLEAN OH MY GOSH THE CLEANING). Watch this video walkthrough to really see it in 3-D, as well as see our amazing lego hack/product that Brian bought (and he pats himself on the back daily).

In the opening photo is how she looked for the magazine/blog shoot – an artisanal game of checkers being played near my borrowed Ben Mendansky (that awesome vase that is not kid-friendly or affordable). I did style it as simply as possible for this shoot because an empty table and an empty credenza would have been sad to look at. You style to “tell a story,” but it might not necessarily be the day to day.

If you are just landing here – Hi, welcome – here is what this room looked like 3 years ago when we bought this house and you can read about its evolutions here.

After a year-long renovation last year (finished Christmas 2018) we shot it last July and now live up here indefinitely.

Rule #1 – Give Yourself Ample Hidden Storage

Not shocking, guys. We love those bins under the bench – they are so pretty and simple (and so affordable considering how high end they look and perfectly match the floor). They aren’t all fabric so they are easy to clean (but look better than plastic – no offense to plastic, but these are very visible so I’d still like them to look good). The credenza is GREAT, we absolutely chose the right one I realize now. Having cabinet doors is easy access, with shelves inside that easily house stacking puzzles and games. The drawers are great to hold all drawing supplies and coloring books. But if it was all drawers it wouldn’t have worked as well, but having some is so nice.

Rule #2 – Keep Surfaces Sparse If Not Empty

The beautiful plaster bench “seat” never did enjoy a rear-end (maybe during nye party), instead it’s the official “lego display surface”. Obviously all the legos would get caught in the sheepskin, so we promptly removed it and gave them free reign. Also when we originally designed this fireplace we toyed with putting pretty birch logs underneath – mostly for the dreamy photo, but we also knew it would likely get some practical bin storage (and it has). I know this sounds nuts but we actually researched pretty bin sizes. We wanted to make sure we were making it the perfect height to sit and have the bins slide easily in and out with enough free space, but not too much to look empty.

#3 – Don’t Be Afraid of The Dark

The furniture hasn’t changed at all – it all lent itself so well for a lot of family use. It was the first time that I have done dark furniture on a dark rug – usually opting for more contrast but maybe I’ve been wrong all these years. Dark on Dark makes it much more family friendly and easier to maintain. The rug has held up pretty well, barring some milk pours that I need to simply try to get out which I’m sure aren’t permanent. It was kinda splurgy but if you are in the market I’m highly intrigued by these rugs that get rave reviews and are meant to be washable – made for families – this one could have worked in here, but I LOVE ours, truly.

The sofa is super deep and comfy, but the fabric is pilling more than I would like a year in, and the back cushions fall down more often then I’d like (trying to figure out a hack) but it’s still really deep and cozy (and we need a deep one to watch the TV above the fireplace). Now had I known we were going to live up here I MAY have done sectional with a chaise instead of a sofa, because we love a cuddle corner, but having a deep sofa is pretty great, too and I’m not complaining (just always consider a sectional in a family room).

Rule #3 – Opt For Furniture That Is Easy To Clean Or Looks Good With Age

That coffee table is a vintage Saarinen that I’ve had for years and I can’t quit it because it’s the most kid-friendly surface ever – it’s so heavy (you can’t tip it over), you can get many legs around it due to the pedestal base, its easy to clean and oval – no sharp edges, FTW. And at this point its been really loved (there are tiny sharpie marks all over it). The leather Norrel chair, I mean it’s such a beautiful chair and so far still in perfect condition (probably because it doesn’t face the TV so it gets less use) but will patina so nicely.

Rule #4 – Remove What You Are Always Having to Clean Up – Duh

While I love some decorative pillows and throws, this sofa actually has really floppy loose pillows so we don’t need more and they just became something for me to have to clean up. Our kids haven’t yet expressed their styling DNA genes. We kept the throw on the back of the sofa and it breaks up the dark grey nicely but nixed all the pillows. The side tables (both live edge – one vintage and this affordable one) are both still GREAT, are hard to knock over, are super pretty, and add warmth into the room.

That was us last year, where I had already switched out the dollhouse on the bench and no pillows on the sofa (as you can see it doesn’t need it). And here we are now (after we tidied it up – an act we have to do every. single. day).

That’s right. A kid sitting on the table and me tagging her cast. So much less “stuff” makes it so much easier to maintain. It obviously does get messy, daily, but with the bins and the credenza right there it’s much easier to clean. I also want you to notice that canvas bin by Charlie’s feet in the corner – that is a LEGO cleaner-upper. Basically it’s a bin that has an attached fabric surface so instead of them laying them all out on the carpet (they have to be able to see EVERY SINGLE LEGO), they just pour the bin into the attached bag. It’s confusing but it’s all in the quick walkthrough video we did at the beginning of the post. It’s just genius and has saved us hours of cleaning and battling to clean time. You can get it HERE.

Obviously these are not styled out or professionally shot, but that’s kinda the point these days. Less stuff, less styling, easier to live. Someday when a guest comes over, I’ll likely make it look prettier because it makes me happy to do so, but for now, it works great.

The kids have a lot of free reign in here because it can take it. We got rid of any lamps they can knock off, but we kept two that give off good light – the standing lamp in the corner and the black lamp on the credenza.

Also, a lot of you were concerned that our TV was too high and it’s really not, I promise (and yes that piece of blown-out white art is The Frame, the world’s prettiest TV). Maybe it’s because the sofa is deep and we can really lay back, but it’s GREAT and not too high. I’ll often bring that ottoman over to be able to put our feet up (thus kinda wishing we had a sectional in here). We could opt for an ottoman instead of the coffee table, but so many games and drawings get done here.

There she is. Finally, an update post where nothing has really changed, just things removed for an easier life. At times I do miss having pretty things around, but knowing that I just have to put them back on a daily basis isn’t worth it. Besides I can stare at my pretty things in other rooms, ones where the kids and family don’t have such free reign.

Question for you – Are we the only ones that let the kids eat on the sofa? Follow up question – Are we the only ones that sometimes lay down towels when it’s something messy like rice or red pasta? When will they get proper eating skills and know how to bring a spoon or forkful of pasta from bowl to mouth without the threat of spilling? Asking for a mom…

Styled Photos From: Mountain House Reveal: How We Designed Our Super Kid-Friendly Family Room

The post The Family Room A Year Later – What We Did Right, And What We Didn’t Need appeared first on Emily Henderson.

View more on Emily Henderson's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on May 02, 2020 01:00

Non Awkward “Mature” Movies And TV Shows To Watch With Parents

design by orlando soria | photo by zeke ruelas | from: combining furniture styles in the casa soria family room

It doesn’t matter what your political or religious affiliation is, I think it’s universal fact that no grown parents want to watch graphic sex scenes or gratuitous violence with their also grown kids. True story: When Charlie was 3 weeks old Brian’s parents were staying with us, we put on The Wolf Of Wall Street for us all to watch together, cuddled up on the sofa – I next to Brian’s dad. Bob still tells this story about how unbelievably uncomfortable it was to watch some of the scenes with Brian and I (and the baby) – I think one involving a drug being consumed off of a nice ladies’ rear end. He was so horrified and embarrassed, and we were all uncomfortable. Thus this post. So what do you watch with your parents? Of course, you could watch family-friendly or G rated films, but we aren’t kids anymore so what are the good, adult movies to watch without the awkwardness? With so many people (especially millennials) who might be crashing with their parents right now, we figured we’d try to help and give a list.

My favorite tip that came from putting together this post is you can google “does Bourne Identity have sex and violence” and IMBD will come up and on their “Parental Guide” page they’ll really break it down by category and even describe it like this:

A man’s and a woman’s upper bodies are both stripped to their vests while he cuts her hair short in order to hide her identity. After he has finished, they kiss passionately.Pornographic poster in one quick shot during a car chase in Paris. Fairly prominent.A man and a woman kiss passionately and he removes his shirt before the camera backs out of their hotel room, leaving it ambiguous as to whether or not they had sex. She is, however, seen waking up in the morning fully clothed, and he is sitting in a chair in the bedroom fully clothed.

I think this is hilarious and I kinda want this job. I’m serious. Also, Common Sense Media is a great resource if you wanting to make sure that there isn’t, say, a threesome in the rom-com you are about to put on with dad.

photo by tessa neustadt | from: the design milk family room reveal

Dramas

From Emily – “Brian’s dad’s favorite movie is The Descendants and while we haven’t watched it, Brian’s parents are obsessed with it so I’m sure it’s rather tame, but still a great movie for grownups.”

From Ryann – Forest Gump: I definitely watched this back when I didn’t understand half of what was going on, but I still very much enjoyed it. It’s a classic and definitely heavy at times, but I think it’s suitable for watching with my parents and it’s a flick that everyone enjoys.

From Sara – Slumdog Millionaire: This is really fun, beautiful film that my dad who is a big film nerd appreciated and my mom who needs something with a happy ending were both really happy watching.

From Julie – Won’t You Be My Neighbor: If you haven’t seen this already, have a box of tissues handy. My mom and I saw this together in the theater when it came out and every fifteen minutes one or both of us were crying. It’s pure joy and so heartwarming to hear all the good things that Mr. Rogers did throughout his career on the show that I never picked up on as a child.

From Ryann – Remember The Titans: A great movie no matter what, but it’s especially great for watching with parents. I mean, Denzel Washington AND football AND the fight against racism in the south? There’s literally something for everyone.

From Julie – The Greatest Showman: This one is at the top of my all-time favorite movies list. It’s one that you could literally watch with anyone; your grandmother, brother, dog, friend, uncle & little kids. The story is so engaging the songs are amazing and Jess’ dad is this movie’s number one fan. (From Jess: He literally “dances” the entire time it’s on. It’s pretty funny but also the music and dancing are SO GOOD that it’s almost impossible not to.)

From Julie – Little Women (2019): You know a story is compelling when it has 6 movie remakes and although I have only seen 2 of them, Greta Gerwig’s version might just be my favorite. Maybe it is because I have seen the 1994 version with Winona Ryder so many times but I love that this take isn’t in chronological order and lets you see the character growth more.

photo by geneieve garruppo | from: a boathouse makeover with the frame tv

Comedies

From Emily – I love a ‘switch’ movie more than most, it’s true, and Big is probably one of the best. It makes you feel good, you laugh a lot and our collective best friend, Tom Hanks, is so charming and funny. If you haven’t seen it in a while, It’s such an easy one to throw on and EVERYONE loves it.

From Mallory – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: I just rewatched this the other day and it KILLED. My parents first showed this to me when I was like 7 or something (I don’t think I liked it at that age), but that’s just proof that it’s not that awkward. Enjoy this one!!

From Ryann – Dumb and Dumber: This happens to be my mom’s favorite movie and I’ve watched it with both my parents countless times. Obviously it’s not PG, but there aren’t any scenes that make me want to crawl in a hole and die if my parents are watching beside me.

From Sara – Sing Street: This is a really sweet, endearing coming of age story, and a really fun take on a musical that doesn’t feel like a musical. My dad is not one for a Disney style musical, but he really enjoyed this indie-style film. This is one of my absolute favorite movies.

From Caitlin – Wine Country: It’s an all-star cast made up of incredible women (Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, et. al.) and it’s about a group of women who fly to Napa to celebrate Rachel Dratch’s 50th birthday. (I forgot her character name, whoops. I swear this movie is good.) My mom and I stumbled on this last summer, we opened a bottle of wine, and we laughed til we cried. It deals with some adult themes (job loss, kinda deadbeat husbands, illness, etc.) but in a way that’s light, funny, and joyful. It’s the perfect movie for some adult-child and parent bonding — grown-up enough to be entertaining, but with no graphic scenes that will cause that “I don’t know where to look! Should I watch? Should I pretend to look at my phone?” kind of panic. Also, there’s a Brene Brown cameo!!! ANYWAY, I really like this movie, please talk about it with me in the comments.

From Jess – Father of the Bride 1 & 2: Do I even need to explain this? Pure nostalgic gold.

From Jess – Shaun Of The Dead: I wouldn’t be described AS a “zombie loving” kind of person but I loved Shaun of the Dead. I saw it for the first time 2 years ago and can’t believe it took me so long. No intense love stuff and just straight-up hysterical.

From Mallory – The Parent Trap: SUCH a classic. Do I need to even explain myself here? Watch it with your parents, dog, sister, brother, aunt, uncle. Force everyone to watch it even if that means sharing your screen on zoom

Romantic Comedies

photo by geneieve garruppo | from: a 120 year old barn makeover with the frame tv

From Julie – Kate & Leopold: Since this movie came out in 2001 I have probably seen this movie over 20 times. A romantic-comedy that includes time travel plus Hugh Jackman and Meg Ryan, I’m there! It’s still my mom, sister and my favorite movie to watch together.

From Jess – The Princess Bride: The Princess Bride was THE Bunge family movie growing up so I can confirm it’s not awkward to watch with family and it’s just the best movie ever.

Action

From Emily – Bourne Identity: Besides a “passionate kiss” or two, it’s pretty tame and one of my favorite movies/series mostly because Matt Damon is gripping to watch (I think Good Will Hunting is a tame adult one, too).

From Emily – Captain America is one of the only action movies that I really loved, but honestly, all the marvel movies (Per Brian’s recommendation) are highly entertaining but tame. He also really wants me to recommend Avengers and Batman Begins.

Docu-Series

From Sara – The Imagineering Story: If you have Disney+ (or a free one-year subscription like we do via Verizon) this is a really, really interesting 6 part TV series that’s all about the Imagineers and their history. It mostly centers around the building of all the Disney theme parks, but we were riveted. It’s 100% family-friendly, but maybe a little boring for anyone younger than 9. Great for adults.

From Jess – The Last Dance: I know that the world is probably already watching this 10 part docu-series on Michael Jordan and the ‘90s Chicago Bulls but it’s amazing! To be fair my dad is from Chicago and I remember watching those games and how exciting they were. But whether you are a sports fan or not, the stories are incredible and we both love it. It’s currently on ESPN on Sundays but if you have the ESPN app you can watch all of the ones that have already aired.

TV Shows

photo by tessa neustadt | from: sara’s living room reveal

From Sara – Great British Baking Show: I could not NOT recommend this show. My absolute favorite TV show, good for any and all ages, so wholesome. So good.

From Ryann – Band Of Brothers: This is a great show to watch if your family is into war movies. It’s extremely well done and heartwarming in the most unexpected ways. It’s about World War II, so it is not without blood and violence, but it’s a show I think everyone should watch because it portrays the war and brotherhood in such a compelling way. I cry a lot while watching it, obviously. Oh and each episode starts with interviews from the actual survivors of Easy Company so it’s based on actual events. My entire family loves it and even though it’s quite heavy we’re almost always down to watch it.

From Jess – 30 Rock: I know this is a TV show but hey MORE viewing hours isn’t a bad thing at the moment, right? Plus, it’s just the best. Definitely not for the ultra-conservative relatives but so smart, funny and any slight cringy moment passes within a couple of seconds.

From Jess – Parks and Recreation: Another all-time favorite TV gem. Even less “race-y” than 30 Rock but just as smart and funny. What I would give to see it for the first time again!

From Ryann – The Office (U.S. version, obviously): If you haven’t binge-watched this show multiple times with your entire family, what are ya doing???

That’s all from us so now it’s your turn. What movies do you love that you can actually sit through and enjoy with parents or in-laws? We want the scoop. xx

Opener Image Credit: Design by Orlando Soria | Photo by Zeke Ruelas | From: Combining Furniture Styles In The Casa Soria Family Room

The post Non Awkward “Mature” Movies And TV Shows To Watch With Parents appeared first on Emily Henderson.

View more on Emily Henderson's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on May 01, 2020 11:00

Working With What You’ve Got – An $8k Budget Kitchen Makeover With A Lot Of Vintage Charm

Today’s post isn’t about my kitchen, but I’m going to start today’s post by talking about my kitchen. Why? Well, I finally have a kitchen of my own, and now I fully understand the itch people who own houses have to renovate their kitchen. My kitchen needs a lot of help, but we can’t afford a full renovation any time soon (phase one & two of our renovation swallowed most of our budget).

But what if I could just update my kitchen instead of enacting a full on renovation war with it? Enter today’s blog subject, and my inspiration . . . .

Last spring we shot an adorable home here in LA for Em’s next book, and its owners had really embraced the “work with what you’ve got” ethos. Granted, what the house had was a lot of cute vintage architecture. But owners, Allison and Benjamin, really worked with the house to amplify it.

When they bought the home in January of 2018 they didn’t suddenly start ripping down walls (guilty), rearranging floor plans (double guilty), or tearing up floors (wow, I am a VERY guilty person). Instead, they brought in fresh life to the house with paint, wallpaper, and hardware – which just gave it even more vintage charm and personality. So we snuck a few photos out of our top-secret book archive and today we’re giving you peek into the kitchen, dining nook, and laundry room.

Alison, the homeowner, was kind enough to chat with me about how she and her husband kept so much of the kitchen’s vintage charm, while also making it practical for modern living, all while avoiding a costly full-on renovation. Let’s dive in.

Note: From here on out, I’m going to be “speaking” to your eyeballs in italics. Mostly so you can tell who’s talking (me or Alison), but also because it makes me feel elegant.

Allison, I think the first thing I, and everyone else, NEEDS to know is: How much did this kitchen “makeover” cost you, and did you have a budget in mind when you started?

Nope! We didn’t have a budget, but I knew it wasn’t going to break the bank. All in it was around $8k, including hardware (which I got on Etsy for $40). It helped that all the accessories and furniture we sourced are vintage.

I know $8k may sound like a lot to anyone who hasn’t updated or renovated a kitchen before, but honestly $8k is IMPRESSIVE. What were you able to do with $8k?

We demoed some upper cabinets on one side of the kitchen, installed open shelving, built a cabinet around the fridge, built a cabinet around the stove, got new appliances, swapped the hardware, and painted.

And how much of this work did you do yourselves, versus how much did you contract out?

I did some of the smaller painting jobs, but left the rest to the professionals! I didn’t really have a timeline, but I had a vision, and luckily was able to make it come together pretty quickly. There was one day of demo where my handyman took out the existing upper cabinets on two walls, one day of measuring by my superhero cabinet guys, 1 day of installation of the new cabinets, and one day of painting. All in all, I think it was done in about 2 weeks.

Ok, speaking of contracting out, let’s chat about some of the very cool features you added to the kitchen – starting with the cabinets around the stove. Are those custom?

They are custom! I got lucky with an amazing cabinet guy and he did a really great job. He just showed up with the stuff and installed them and they fit like a glove. They are the “one big drawer with shelves” kind.

I’m very curious about this “amazing cabinet guy” and will need his info . . . It also looks like you had some custom work down around the fridge. Are the cabinets above the fridge new, or just refaced?

They are new. That whole wall was empty so we put in everything you see there.

Wait, so that whole wall was EMPTY before? That means you came up with that cool wine rack idea for right above the fridge, right?

I had really wanted a Subzero fridge but it wasn’t in the budget, so I had the cabinet guy put in a removable wine rack so that if one day we get a Subzero we can squeeze it in.

You’ve got closed cabinets everywhere else in the kitchen, but over on the sink side of the kitchen you opted to demo out the cabinets and install open shelving. Honestly, brave, because I don’t know if I’ll ever be organized enough for open shelving. What prompted the decision to go open on that side of the kitchen?

I just like the look of it. I collect china and it’s the best way to get to look at it every day. This way I can see all the beautiful plates, bowls, pitchers, and teapots that bring me so much joy.

So what about the aspects of the kitchen you decided to keep? What were the elements you were just going to make work?

I was absolutely most definitely keeping the scalloped vent over the stove, even though it doesn’t work all that well. The low setting does practically nothing and the high setting sounds like a rocket taking off in our kitchen, but who cares? It’s adorable! We needed some new cabinetry around the fridge and the space to the left of it, and on either side of the stove, so I had to make the decision to either get all new matching cabinet doors and drawers, or just match the new ones as closely as possible to the old ones. It saved me around $2k to match them rather than getting all new ones. It’s not perfect, but it’s not a big deal. I can live with it.

I love how you’ve decided to display art on the backsplash. This is a technical question, but how did you hang your art on tile?

For some of them I hammer a little nail into the grout (carefully!), some of them I nailed above the tile and hung the piece on clear fishing wire, and some of the smaller pieces without glass I used puddy (which I don’t really recommend).

As we move into the dining room and laundry room, let’s chat about the biggest element these spaces share – the paint scheme. After seeing the rest of your house (coming soon readers), I know that you’re not afraid of color or pattern, but going with the painted trim to match the cabinets was definitely a bold choice. Where did you get that idea?

The kitchen colors happened in stages. First, I painted just the lower cabinets Peale Green by Benjamin Moore, then later decided the refrigerator cabinet should also be green. Then, when I was adding the (not yet painted) crown molding, I liked the contrast that it gave to the room, so instead of painting it off white to match the walls (Swiss Coffee by Benjamin Moore), I painted it green to match the cabinets, along with all other molding and doors. It was one of those things that felt like a risk, but it turned out great. Also, not sure if you can see in the pictures, but the ceiling is painted Setting Plaster by Farrow and Ball which adds a nice pink glow.

Let’s follow the paint into the laundry room/pantry, which is ULTRA happy and just like, my ideal laundry room. First off, where is that statement wallpaper from?

It’s from Schumacher (my favorite) designed by the great architect and fabric designer, Josef Frank. It’s called Citrus Garden, which is fitting because we have a lot of citrus trees in the yard (thanks to Ethel and Henry, the previous owners). It was definitely a splurge, but is one of the most beautiful and joyous things I’ve ever laid eyes on and makes me happy literally every day of my life. The laundry room doubles as the family entrance, so I wanted to make it special.

Hands down my favorite part of these three spaces is the Citrus Garden wallpaper in here. It’s a daily dose of joy.

Is there a story behind that cute Dutch door in the laundry room? And can you tell me what happy shade of yellow that is? And also about the hardware. Just literally everything.

I really wanted a dutch door, partly because I think they are adorable, and partly so that I could have the door open without our little 6 pound dog, Goldie, getting out. Even though we are in the city, we live up on a hill and there’s a lot of wildlife, including coyotes that love hanging out in our yard. I got lucky and found this super quirky and talented door and window maker who built and installed this door for us.

The color of the door is Anjou Pear by Sherwin Williams, and I’m planning on painting the beams in the den that color as soon as this is all over. I can’t wait! The hardware is all from House Of Antique Hardware (which is also where all of my hardware is from!).

Two more questions before we wrap this up. What’s your best tip for “making it work,” and the best way you think others can bring a little more vintage soul into their own homes?

When it comes to making an existing room work as is, I think that it’s all about color. The right color covers a multitude of sins, though, of course, finding the right color is easier said than done. You really have to get in touch with your intuition and listen closely. And also, when it comes to paint, you’ve got to see it in the room. Colors are like magical trickster fairies that appear different in every light, so you have to be very specific! Don’t be afraid to spend money on buying samples. There is NOTHING BETTER than finding the color that makes your heart sing. And, don’t forget, color therapy is a real thing. It can absolutely elevate a mood. Take a risk!

As for keeping (or bringing) a sense of vintage soul, I always prefer pieces and features that are unique, even if they are imperfect or unusual. Making friends with the imperfect is huge in designing a home. If everything is new and perfect it can feel sterile. Imperfections and eccentricities can give a space warmth and make people feel more at home and relaxed. So, I say to resist the urge to make it all new and perfect and let the life of your home find it’s way into the light.

A huge thank you to Allison & Benjamin for letting us come into their home and photograph all their hard work. It’s truly filled with so much soul. Stay tuned for more of this home. In the meantime, has anyone else out there decided to opt for a budget update over a full on reno? I’d love to hear your experiences!

Credits: Home of Allison Pierce, styling by Velinda Hellen & Erik Staalberg, photography by Sara Ligorria-Tramp for EHD

The post Working With What You’ve Got – An $8k Budget Kitchen Makeover With A Lot Of Vintage Charm appeared first on Emily Henderson.

View more on Emily Henderson's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on May 01, 2020 00:00

Working With What You’ve Got – A Budget Kitchen Makeover With A Lot Of Vintage Charm