Emje McCarty's Blog, page 10

publication

“confusion perfume” (the 2024 version) is being published over at razorcake zine.
check it out on instagram: @razorcake_zine
their website might be down? but they do have a print version available & are currently doing a subscription drive….
it’s a punk rock diy zine…so, perfect for cp

art slump

i managed to make a card for my nephew & my cousin

but otherwise, i am in a bit of an art slump….
maybe i’m worn out from submitting fiction to publishers? a bit worn out from being rejected?
anyhoo….

facing fears

so lately i am wondering how much of my life has been motivated by a fear of rejection?
as i shop around my novel, short stories, & comics to publishers, i am acutely aware that i have a disabling fear of rejection.
is that why i’m afraid of so many things that seem irrational to be afraid of (recycling; donating items to thrift stores; leaving the house to go…anywhere….)
fuck me.
also! while watching the movie pure o, i realized i have struggled with ocd all my life. i always have joked that i have ocd, but i never realized those intrusive thoughts were something that everyone didn’t have.
i’m going to read up on it & see how much of what i do is affected by ocd. at least the ocd has made me a better fiction writer so many dark thoughts to write stories about!
now if i could just find a place to publish them…. my writing is decidedly not shiny happy people writing & this makes it a bit more difficult to find the right place to publish….
and then there’s that fear of rejection….

saint nobody page fourteen

communicating through comics

“i was born into a big family because i wanted to be part of a big family but my heart is a desert.”

“maybe there’s still love to be found?”

“there’s a lot of us. the empty…. maybe we can find each other?”

this was after meditating on the question of “who did i want to be?” in my latest dance with depression.

saint nobody page thirteen

i felt the urge
to add some pencil
so i did

daily doodles

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i’m over at the ridges and rivers book fest in viroqua!

here is a doodle from a children’s book i am working on….
speaking of books! are you in the driftless? if so, swing on by the library in viroqua and check out some awesome local writers. i will be there too

two minute neurotic comics

rejection is so tough on me. but here’s the weird thing…just submitting my art & writing or going through the submission process or even just reading a submission page…all of it makes me feel so worthless.
poop.
so i apparently need to wait for a day where i feel invincible?
which isn’t right now where even motherhood is defeating me:

and…daily doodle

i’m trying to focus on writing fiction, comics, and publishing said fiction & comics.
i have absolutely no money & am living off of credit cards & good will. i do not like to be this needy.
i am putting in applications for work other than all the work i do for no money (she works hard for no money)…but i don’t like to leave my children. they are getting older, but i still feel a deep need to protect them & keep them safe…so i get pretty neurotic when i work away from home.
ack.
needing money sucks

on a related note…if you are in the viroqua area this weekend, stop by the ridges & rivers book festival. i will have a table and some randomness for sale.