Robbie Yates's Blog, page 10
August 9, 2018
Paperback Release: Daniel Daniels and the World’s Worst Zoo
“Daniel Daniels and the World’s Worst Zoo” is now available as a paperback!
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As well as paperback format, the book is available as an ebook (free for Kindle Unlimited subscribers). You can find reviews for “Daniel Daniels and the World’s Worst Zoo” on Goodreads and Amazon.
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Pants
A great ballerina from France
Wore only pyjamas as pants.
They were navy with hearts;
She would fill them with farts
That would slowly leak out while she’d dance.
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Image from Deposit Photos © Rabotnichek 2017
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August 8, 2018
Skirts
There was a lady in my town
Who wore these great big skirts.
They’d flip and flap and flutter and
They’d drag in mud and dirt.
And noone that I’ve told this to
Believes my honest tale:
One day the wind took hold of her
And made the gal set sail!
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Image from Pixabay © OpenClipart-Vectors 2017
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August 7, 2018
Watch
I had a shiny wristwatch
A sentimental piece.
I got it for my birthday
Received it from my niece.
And then one day I broke it,
I felt so sad and weird.
I planned to get it fixed soon,
But then it disappeared.
Now at the time this happened
My son was only three.
He’d learned to pick up rubbish
And clean things up with glee.
I figured he had binned it
But on that fateful day
The place he’d put my “litter?”
The kitty litter tray.
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Image from Pixabay © TukTukDesign 2016
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August 6, 2018
Tea
I always thought that tea leaves
Were what you used for tea.
I plonked them in a teapot
And stirred them up with glee.
But then somebody told me
You could make tea with fruit;
You could make tea with nutmeg,
Or bits of ginger root!
I went on quite a rampage
This fact had blown my mind.
And I was very ready
To leave tea leaves behind.
I made some tea with gumnuts
I made some tea with stones,
I made some tea with gravy
And mouldy chicken bones.
So next time that you visit,
You must, of course, stop by.
I’ll serve you up some fruitcake
A slice of apple pie.
I’ll use the china teacups
The silver teaspoons too—
And you will get a taste of
The tea I make from glue!
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Image from Pixabay © ProSmile 2016
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August 5, 2018
Balloon
There once was a great big buffoon
Who feared every single balloon.
He said his despair
Was because of the air.
“When they pop, they’ll cause a typhoon!”
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Image from Pixabay © rhidona 2015
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August 4, 2018
Salt and Pepper
There was a whirlwind romance
Between two condiments.
The Salt and powdered Pepper,
They’d loving sentiments.
Though one was very spicy
And one was like the sea,
They lived and loved and laughed in
Romantic harmony.
Though Salt was used quite freely
The Pepper’s use was rare.
The Salt was pinched and sprinkled
But Pepper’s coverage—bare.
And while they were both zesty
When tasted one-by-one,
Combined—entwined—entangled
Their flavor’d awe and stun!
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Image from Pixabay © OpenClipart-Vectors 2013
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August 3, 2018
Words
“Hey Dad,” she asked me quizzically.
“You know the times we bake—
We get a pinch of this and that
To stir into our cake;
Is there a kitchen implement
That’s smaller than a cup,
But bigger than a spoon that we
Can use to measure up?
“Of course,” I murmured, panicking.
You see, I’d no idea!
I searched my head and stammered out,
“It’s called a Flamboneer.”
“Hey Dad, you know the holes we have
To buckle up our belts?
What do we call those little things?”
“They call them Belting Telts.”
“The painted lines on highway roads?”
“Oh, Laney-Lines,” I said.
My daughter looked contemplative
And then she cocked her head.
“I have one final question, Dad.”
“What is it, buttercup?”
“What do you call the process where
Your Dad makes new words up?”
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Image from Pixabay © blickpixel 2014
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August 2, 2018
Rosebud
“I know you want to eat it.
I know it smells divine.
But if you take a nibble
I’ll have to hear you whine.”
“But Mom, it looks so tasty!
And look—it’s just so cute!
It looks just like a rosebud,
And smells like one to boot!”
“You need to just resist it.”
“I can’t resist it—nope.”
“I told you. It’s disgusting.”
“You’re right. I don’t like soap!”
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Image from Deposit Photos © de-kay 2009
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August 1, 2018
Itch
It happens when you cannot move
Or when you must be still.
The itch gets so unbearable
You simply lose your will.
The middle of an interview
Or someone’s wedding toast.
Or funerals—it’s funerals
When itches strike the most!
You try behaving subtly so
You will not make a sound.
You shift your weight—just slightly and
You slide your fingers ‘round.
And scratching feels so wonderful
You feel like you could die.
And in that silent moment you
Let out a big fat sigh.
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Image from Deposit Photos © corbacserdar.gmail.com 2016
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