Robbie Yates's Blog, page 12

Finish This Poem – “Barking”

There’s a dog around the corner and he barks all night and day.

His owners will not listen to a single word I say.

It’s stopping me from sleeping and it’s ruining my mood;

I think it’s time his owners got told off or even sued.

Now I can be vindictive when I’m bitter or I’m mad.

I thought of a solution fixing all the qualms I had.

I went up to their canine and I whispered in his ear,

“…”

(Can you finish this poem?

Silly Stuff (For Robbie Yates — O the shame, O the infamy!) — Timeless Classics

Err… so the wonderful Ana over at Timeless Classics wrote a poem about me.

My favorite line is definitely “Was made to laugh his poems by | I spewed my cocktail on my skirt…” although the fact that she finds reading my poems a “High risk occupation” is also a little bit marvelous.

Like, just for instance, last time I Was made to laugh his poems by I spewed my cocktail on my skirt…

via Silly Stuff (For Robbie Yates — O the shame, O the infamy!) — Timeless Classics

Honey

A wasp and a bee shared a spot in the sun.

The wasp had a question to ask.

“Oh bee, I’ve a question, it’s short and it’s fun,

Would you answer it here while we bask?”

“I know you make honey. Of that I am sure.

It’s simply what honeybees do.

So here is my question. Do bees all adore

Their honey in sandwiches too?”

“Our babies eat honey,” the bee then replied.

“It’s what all our larvae are fed.”

“But as to our sandwiches and what’s inside—

We adults like nectar instead!”

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Image from Pixabay © CC0 Creative Commons 2014

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One Star

I went on a lovely vacation

But found it a troublesome chore.

I wanted a sunny location

And scenery I could adore.

I booked at a quaint little lodging

Securing a room and a bed,

But found myself needlessly dodging

The owner’s harassment instead.

Of course, he was lovely at check-in:

He passed me my keys with a smile.

“Please make this your home,” he had beckoned;

“We hope you will stay for a while.”

Despite the man’s warm salutation

And offer to let down my guard,

Enjoying the accommodation

Became very taxing and hard.

Now when I am home I will daily

Spend time strolling ‘round in the nude.

But though I’d been welcomed so gaily,

I then got called vulgar and rude!

And though when I’m home I let dishes

Pile up and then cultivate mold,

This countered the owner man’s wishes—

Or so I was boorishly told.

So though I had high expectations

And though I had come from afar

For these modest accommodations

I leave just one desolate star.

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Image from Pixabay © CC0 Creative Commons 2017

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Banana

I’m feeling inconsolable

I’m feeling all alone—

I’m feeling pain and sadness worse

than I have ever known—

For my whole life I’ve been beside

My lovely family.

All long and slim and yellow. Yes,

We lived in harmony.

And then, one sunny afternoon,

They plucked us from our height!

But we were still together and

So we were still alright.

And then they boxed and freighted us

And put us in a store!

But still we were together so

We’d be alright for sure.

And then a lady bagged us up

And put us in her car!

But I still felt okay because

My parents were not far.

And then the old hag took my Dad

She ripped him from the bunch…

And I can hardly bear to say…

She ate my Dad for lunch.

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Image from Pixabay © CC0 Creative Commons 2014

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Snort

There once was a woman who’d snort

Every time she gave voice to a thought.

Explosive and loud

She could startle a crowd

It sounded like wars being fought.

She seemed to be quite unaware

As her snorts echoed out through the air.

A doc had a peek

In the side of her cheek

“It’s ‘cos you’ve three nostrils! One’s spare.”

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Image from Deposit Photos © Helen_Adamova 2014

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Grandmother’s Stew

My darling old grandmother’s stew

Is neither delicious nor new.

It’s leftover stuff

Soggy veggies, meat tough

A horrible simmering brew.

She says that it’s healthy and fine,

It strengthens your guts and your spine.

And each day or two

She adds to the stew

It’s existed since ’79!

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Image from Pixabay © CC0 Creative Commons 2015

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Snoring

I once knew a lady who snored

So her husband, who she just adored

Bought some earplugs and glue

‘Cos he knew what to do.

Yes, those plugs—in her nostrils—he stored.

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Finish This Poem – “Lunch”

I sit with all my colleagues

Each afternoon at one.

We show what’s in our lunchbox

It’s quite a lot of fun.

A weekly social catch-up

It always lifts my mood;

The problem is, they always point

And snicker at my food.

See, Rachel, she brings bento

And Mark brings peas and rice.

And Lewis? He brings tacos

All loaded up with spice.

I don’t know why they laugh at ME,

The food I bring is great:

…

…

(Can you finish this poem?

Don’t Play With Your Food

My Momma always told me

“Robbie, don’t play with your food.

It’s silly and it’s childish

And it comes across as rude.”

But Momma’s famous sayings

Though quite lovely, were not right—

Like “Crusts make hair grow curly”

And “You can’t eat eggs at night.”

So when I’d finished college

And I rented my own house,

I cooked up some spaghetti

Stirring quiet as a mouse.

I got some crunchy breadsticks

And some beans that had been stewed,

And then, with glee and glory

Made a sculpture out of food!

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