Robbie Yates's Blog, page 7

Rollerblades

I bought myself some rollerblades

They skate along real fast.

They don’t so well on carpet,

They’re shocking on the grass.

They can be very painful

If there’s a nasty spill

But they are just terrific

When flying down a hill!

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Image from Pixabay © L0nd0ner 2015

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Punctuation

I love myself a comma

I love myself a dash

I love myself a question mark,

A colon and a hash;

I love myself a bracket but

There’s one thing I can’t stand—

I simply don’t know how to write

A gosh-darn ampersand!

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Image from Pixabay © Suxu 2016

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Bananas

There once was a lass called Alana

Who was quite bewitched by bananas.

She’d eat a whole bunch

For breakfast and lunch

Dessert was a box of sultanas.

It wasn’t quite simply the taste.

She pounded them into a paste.

And then she would scoop

Banana-ey goop

And smear it all over her face!

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Image from Pixabay © 4924546 2013

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My Creepy Cellphone

I think that my cellphone is list’ning to me.

I think that it watches me sleep.

It knows when I’m watching some rubbish TV

‘Cos that’s when it lets out a beep.

It knows that on Fridays it’s pizza I crave

The ads show me bacon as well…

I swear that, just now, when I let out a fart,

It switched itself off from the smell!

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Image from Pixabay © stokpic 2014

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Painting

I went to the store and I walked through the door and I went to the house-painting shelf.

I know that some people hire people who paint but I thought I could paint things myself.

I painted the walls and I painted the floor and I should have just left it at that.

Instead I got very excited and somehow I painted the family cat.

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Image from Pixabay © tookapic 2015

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Elaborate Shoes

There once was a woman who’d choose

Extremely elaborate shoes.

With heels inches high

She’d totter on by

And grimace when standing in queues.

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Image from Pixabay © rmac8oppo 2017

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Finish This Poem – “Yoga”

I went along to yoga

I wore my tightest pants

I thought it was a version

Of slow and rhythmic dance.

Instead I stuck my arms out

And stuck my butt up high

It hurt so gosh-darn badly

I thought I’d surely cry.

I went along to yoga

A ball of flailing arms

My phone, of course, vibrated

With calls and loud alarms.

And when I’d finished yoga

They said “Please don’t come back…”

…

…

(Can you finish this poem?

My Sandwich

I made myself a sandwich.

I added lots of ham.

It looked a little lonely,

And so I added jam.

To balance out the flavors,

I spread some peanut paste;

I sprinkled on some pepper

And salt, of course, to taste.

I drizzled on some honey.

I dribbled on some soy.

I added jalapeños;

They’re something I enjoy.

I scattered on some almonds

And broke into a grin.

And then I grabbed my sandwich,

And threw it in the bin.

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Image from Pixabay © Clker-Free-Vector-Images 2014

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Beijing

There once was a man from Beijing

Who—morning ‘til nightfall—would sing.

I said, “Please refrain.

For it’s such a pain—

I can’t hear my telephone ring!”

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Image from Pixabay © eommina 2016

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Cobbler

I went to the cobbler with one small request.

My shoes were quite good but I wanted the best.

I wanted some shoes that would make me run fast;

He measured my foot and then sculpted a last.

I went a week later and picked up my shoes.

He said they would get me on broadcasted news.

I put the shoes on and I ran in my race…

…So blindingly fast I fell flat on my face!

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Image from Pixabay © cegoh 2016

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