Christopher D. Connors's Blog, page 61

The 3 Key Details for Your Personal Mission Statement

In order to know where you’re going, it helps to know where you’ve been. All right, I promise, only one cliché for this piece. Keep me honest and bear with me! I start with this to say that in order to best position yourself for a life of happiness, it is extremely helpful to have a philosophy around what you hope to be, and what you intend to accomplish.

Some people call this a personal creed or mission statement. This is written documentation that establishes three things:

1) Your Purpose
2) Your Direction
3) The substance of things that matter to you

Your purpose — or your raison d’être — is the reason why you’re doing what you’re doing with your life. As I wrote about previously, I encourage you to look at this from a blank slate in order to get to the brass-tacks truth of what you really want your mission to be in life. This should be organic and developed only by you — free and unfettered from any influences or emotions of the moment.

Your direction is your plan — and the actions that you must take in order to fulfill the requirements of your plan. Too often, many people doubt themselves because they don’t think they’re ready to begin moving in the direction of what they want to accomplish. They think it’s not their time, they’re lacking in a particular area or they’re too young — they’re hindered by limiting beliefs which beget doubt and fear.

Oftentimes, it simply makes sense to begin even with very tiny steps toward completing tasks and goals that match up with your purpose. This is where writing out your goals and putting them into a plan comes in. This is your direction — the compass that will guide you when life gets in the way, you’re too busy, too tired or hungry. Planning is essential.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” — Maya Angelou

The substance of things that matter to you are part and parcel of your purpose, and should be incorporated, as much as possible, into what you do each day. These are the core values, ideals, principles, people and also the things that bring enthusiasm and passion to your life. Beliefs or activities that get you exciting and mean something to you.

In other words — as Bono once sang, “all that you can’t leave behind.”

My new book is out November 8th. Pre-order HERE!The Power of Planning

Successful businesses, schools, hospitals, sports teams and individuals begin by stating their goals and addressing how they intend to achieve them. These collective individuals understand the importance of accountability, and the power behind committing to a specific philosophy. They understand their purpose, what dedicating time and effort to a cause means and what taking ownership over something is all about.

Equally as important as writing a mission statement, is to define — for yourself — what your definition of success is. Never let anyone else define success for you. You should always take the time to do this for yourself. In a competitive landscape, it’s easy to be concerned with how others are doing. To stress and worry about such things is natural. It’s human.

When you have a mission statement, you’ll realize the power behind deciding for yourself how successful you can and will be. Your mission statement and definition of success serve as the foundation for all future attempts at becoming who you hope to be. Several years ago, I wrote mine. Here it is:

To live each moment to the fullest by having a positive attitude, a smile and a genuine enjoyment for life, while giving everything I have to love the people and environment around me and make it a better place.

You’ll notice that this is indeed a philosophy, a high-level view of how I’d like to conduct myself in this world, and a few of the actions I’d like to take. This is not a series of marching orders or specific goals intended for a short duration. Your philosophy is strategic, while short-term goal setting is tactical.

Setting goals helps you focus on specific things you aim to accomplish and how you plan to accomplish them. The mission statement is crucial for establishing the things that matter to you. This leads to the development of your own personal values and principles.

“Outstanding people have one thing in common: An absolute sense of mission.” — Zig Ziglar

There have likely been millions of thought impulses that have flashed through your mind during the course of your life. Even for those of you in your teen years. These thought impulses are acted upon, left in the recesses of your subconscious mind or ignored. Your thoughts lead to your life’s experiences and those experiences are often shared in the company of others.

All of these things have an enormous impact on how you make decisions. Your decisions will impact your course in life and whether you will find yourself happy, ambivalent or disappointed.

When I think back to putting together my philosophy, I reminisce about past relationships, experiences, thought impulses and emotions. I think of the times when I’ve been happiest, times I’ve been down, moments of peace and distress, and the times I’ve found my greatest inspiration. My inspiration is derived from my core philosophy.

“A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.” — Mahatma Gandhi

My motivation comes from the “fire” inside of me, the indescribable power that fuels my dreams and inner creativity. I acknowledge this “fire” as a gift that God has given me. A beautiful, divine power that I believe all of us can tap into if we have the desire and we believe.

This power will lead us to personal freedom, greater clarity of thought, vitality and energy to bring into our everyday lives. All this requires is a willingness to believe in God and yourself, and the desire to get to the core of what fuels your inner fire. Introspection and deep, personal reflection are key to living a life of freedom.

They help us to analyze our experiences and thoughts, and determine how we can use them to our future advantage. They provide us with a greater sense of direction and purpose. Along with your mission statement, they form the backbone of your future destiny.

Value Yourself!

My upcoming book on Values is due out November 8th! Pre-order it now!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

The 3 Key Details for Your Personal Mission Statement was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Thank you so much, Pablo!

Thank you so much, Pablo! This was so nice to see your comment and read these very kind words. I’m truly honored to have you as a reader and very eager to get our feedback on the book. Might you be willing to leave a review on Amazon once you’ve read it?

All my best to you! — Christopher

4 Powerful Lessons about Growing Up and Finding Yourself

We all love to reminisce. That’s part of life. And as long as we keep moving forward, we realize how important it is to look back with laughter and happiness at the great blessings in our lives. We’re defined by what we’ve learned and the people who helped shape us into the women and men we are today. The product of who we become is a powerful sum of maturity and lessons learned.

Throughout my life, there have been huge milestones, spectacular failures, some “blah” moments and some small wins. The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve paused at each interval to appreciate each moment for what it is. I make a mental note — and a written one — of what I’ve learned and how I can improve in my relationships, my performance and in my thought life.

I’m always seeking to grow in emotional intelligence and to branch out and meet new people I can learn from. I get tired of stale ideas. Maybe you know exactly what I mean. We should constantly strive to grow, challenge old assumptions and find bold, new opportunities that open our minds and bring joy to our hearts.

I want to keep becoming a better writer, I always want to love my family and friends with all my heart, and I want to touch people’s lives in a positive way. So, what about you? What are you striving for? I hope you can agree that the lessons we learn along the way leave imprints on our souls. They touch us and challenge us to become better people.

I felt these four powerful lessons that I’ve learned could have some applicability in your life. You may find some of yourself in the pages of what I’ve learned. Growing up isn’t about getting older and less fun. It’s about getting wiser, smarter, happier and more influential in our thoughts and actions. Enjoy this list!

1. You may not become the person you thought you would in high school. And that’s perfectly fine!

My wife just asked me two days ago what I dreamt of becoming when I was in high school. The absolute — highly delusional! — truth was that my dream was to play basketball in the NBA. I didn’t just occasionally dream this. I thought of it All. The. Time. At first, my dream was to play Division 1 college basketball.

Neither one of those dreams came true. Yet my dream of playing college basketball did, at the Division 3 level.

While I was a dreamer and positive thinker, I didn’t have clear goals and plans that extended outside of the basketball gym. I poured all of my energy and effort into becoming the best basketball player that I could be. I dreamt that it would pay off. After graduating high school, I then went on to have, shall we say, not exactly the most distinguished athletic career in college.

I stopped playing midway through my time in school.

At the time, it felt like a bomb had blown up in my dorm room. My whole life felt like it was in shambles because of the deep attachment I had cultivated and created with basketball. I began to question myself and beat myself up. Why didn’t I do more? Why didn’t things work out? Maybe you can sympathize and relate to an event in your own life.

When I started doing some real soul-searching seven years ago, I came to peace with the fact that I hadn’t given things my all when I was younger. At first I was ashamed. I then aimed to rectify things by pursuing my passions and putting to plan more of an hard-working outline to ensure I’d never give up or give anything less than my best EVER again.

I’ve done all these things. Giving my best in all situations is probably the thing I am most proud of.

One of the things I did plan and speak over my life was the desire to become a high school basketball coach. I achieved this goal only seven months later in the Fall. This is why I am perhaps the world’s largest proponent of, “What you speak over your life becomes your reality.” No one will ever convince me that this isn’t true.

Every time I’ve earnestly and industriously pursued this, things have worked out in my favor.

Coaching basketball became one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made. It’s an enormous part of my DNA. The reason why is because basketball was in my blood from such a young age. Because I concentrated so much of my energy on the game during my high school years, I continue to feel that much more equipped to coach and teach the game to young people today.

But bear in mind, I didn’t just learn, practice and acquire the skill of learning basketball and teaching it. I learned about emotional intelligence, competition, planning, strategy, tactics and so much more. This education of basketball was truly an education of life. It has shaped me into the man I am today and influenced the values structure that has become a gigantic part of my life.

So much so, that I just wrote a book about it.

My new book is out November 8th. Pre-order HERE!2. Don’t beafraid to sometimes repeat the past, as long as you don’t dwell too long in the past

“You can’t repeat the past.” — Nick Carraway

“Can’t repeat the past? Why of course you can!” — Jay Gatsby, from The Great Gatsby

You’ll never be able to relive a moment that passed. But you can repeat the emotions and feelings of your past by putting yourself in the same setting, with the same people and sharing a few good laughs and stories. Guess what? There’s nothing wrong with this… as long as you don’t pine for it. If you keep moving forward, spending time reminiscing over a great period of growth is highly encouraged.

It makes you happy. It enables you to learn. It puts you in a place and frame of mind that positively influences your thoughts, bringing back great memories and helping you make sense of your current state.

I remember in the final few months of my senior year in high school thinking, “I’m so ready to go to college and get out of this place.” Part of the reason was the fact that I had two older brothers who had already graduated college. I visited them several times during their college years and had a great time. I was excited for change.

I’ve always embraced change, even when I haven’t thought everything through.

Yet during the first week of my freshman year of college, I encountered my first adversity. I couldn’t possibly have known what it would be like to be away from my family for a long, extended period of time. I had really only been away at most for about 10 days for a basketball camp.

As I sat crying on my bed listening to my U2 CD (yes, not all music was yet digital!), my college roommate, who became my college best friend, tried to help me with my homesickness. He remains one of my closest friends to this day for a reason. Rob showed me empathy and emotional intelligence that was well beyond both of our years. He had gone through quite a maturity challenge himself.

You see, Rob’s father accepted a job in Bangkok, Thailand when he was in seventh grade. That meant that Rob had to move from… Middlebury, Vermont, all the way to the other side of the world, leaving behind friends, family and all that he knew. He moved back to Vermont during the middle of his junior year of high school. Except that time, he didn’t want to leave Thailand.

For most of us, we can only imagine the heartache and emotional strings that must have tugged for such a young person. Yet Rob also benefited from having such a challenging, yet profitable experience. He talked me down from the ledge, so to speak, and made me realize that I didn’t have to rush to come home.

That if I kept looking forward to all the promising things that awaited me, everything would be just fine. Of course, he was right. It’s one of the best life lessons I’ve ever learned. And now, Rob is a friend for life. At that moment in time, I was dwelling too much in the past. And it was time to move on. But every now and then, even for a fleeting moment, it’s OK to remember the good ole days.

3. Be proud of the person you are, even if you still have moments of doubt. Accept yourself.

No matter how much you doubt yourself about past decisions or actions that you took, that you may still think to be foolish, give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Take a breather and realize that things happened for a reason. Of all the things that I’ve learned as I’ve matured into a man, ACCEPTANCE is probably the most valuable lesson of all.

I accept my past. I accept things that have occurred. Naturally, acceptance is particularly focused in this instance on negatives, shortcomings, mistakes and failures. It’s easy to accept victory. It’s easy to accept standing in the winner’s circle and gaining the adulation of your peers. It’s easy to accept the fruits of your success — the culmination of self-satisfaction and fulfillment. That’s a reward!

It’s hard to accept failure.

When failure occurs, we can either turn that adversity into something we learn from and improve upon, or we can let it sit in our conscious and subconscious minds, influencing our thoughts, and slowly chipping away at us as it ruins us. Acceptance is mindset and a way of life. Acceptance never means being OK with failure. Quite the opposite.

Acceptance means understanding, processing and moving on from a past event, while learning from it and living with an empowered mindset for every other hurdle or easy day that comes our way. Acceptance is practiced by the most mentally tough, emotionally intelligent people I know. It changes your life and colors your thoughts more positively so that you have greater peace of mind and clarity of thought.

It’s why regret is never an option for me. I’ve taken the disappointment of not giving things my best effort and converted it into an indomitable spirit that powers the fire and hunger inside of me each day.

4. Don’t pick apart mistakes or foolish things you did. Laugh at them and realize life isn’t always a “repair job” of everything you’ve done wrong

When I was in high school, I did some stupid things. The fact is, my friends and I were sometimes full-fledged knuckleheads. We were incredibly immature, we thought we were funny and were totally OK with living in that reality. Growing up right outside New York City on Long Island, I had the good fortune of growing up around some very talented classmates.

One of my closest friends was the comedian that you likely know by name today, Amy Schumer. Amy and some of our good friends were a great tag-team of “wiseguys” that relentlessly peppered teachers with jokes and pranks that gave everyone a laugh. That’s just the way it was. Did we waste some time? Maybe.

But do you think Amy Schumer would change anything about where she’s ended up in her career? That’s a rhetorical question. I can tell you this, while she’s counting her millions of fans, I doubt she’s too concerned about the Gadsden Purchase from junior year History or the Periodic Table from Chemistry. And neither am I.

I am the person I am because of the experiences I lived through. I don’t live with regret. I’ve learned from mistakes and failures but I’m completely at peace with all that has come and gone in my life. To the times I had fun, to the times that I suffered, it’s all good.

The bottom line is that learning about our past, making sense of our experiences, both good and bad, offers us a treasure trove of knowledge, wisdom and insight that will carry us throughout our lifetimes. Keep maturing, keep growing and don’t forget to laugh sometimes. Life is funnier that way.

Value Yourself!

My upcoming book on Values is due out November 8th! Pre-order it now!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

4 Powerful Lessons about Growing Up and Finding Yourself was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Thanks so much, Valerie!

Thanks so much, Valerie! Something I learned the hard way. Took me a while in my life to get to the point where I felt deserving. But it’s been a total gamechanger. Grateful to have you as a reader!

Do it For Yourself — A Story of Inspiration and Faith

https://medium.com/media/b2b35b4c7c8dc7cad485eb76ffdab986/href

What do you envision the moment will look like? The moment when you’ve accomplished something truly great — something you’ve dreamed about and hoped that you’d achieve for a long, long time. Surely you have an image of this in your mind, right? I do. I play it back in my imagination several times each day. Oddly enough — or maybe not so odd — I’m there on my own. Alone.

I raise my arms in exultation to the sky, sun on my face, chills down my body, and it’s there in that moment that it hits me: all the hard work, sweat, tears, moments of anxiety, fear, frustration, doubt, anger, hopelessness, happiness, joy, faith and encouragement were worth it.

These things play back in my mind for what feels like an eternity but it all happens in just a few, fleeting seconds.

I did it.

For me, that moment is having my book arrive on The New York Times “Best Sellers List,” and knowing that my message meant something to thousands of people. That it added value to their lives.

“It is one of the beautiful compensations of life that no man (or woman) can sincerely try to help another without helping him (or her)self.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

See, what’s funny about life is that we should always look out for our fellow man and woman, and our actions should be altruistic and of value to the world. Yet ultimately, we’re all trying to prove something to ourselves. The hope is that the dreams of our heart, the purpose of our lives and the mission for why we’re here will someday culminate in the realization and self-actualization that we completed part of our destiny. That’s what it’s all about for me.

How about you?

My new book is out November 8th. Pre-order HERE!

I’ve already completed the first part of my dream. I’ve written my first book, The Value of You, which will be out in paperback and e-book on Amazon starting on November 8th. Now, the hard part! Time to crack that Bestseller list. Maybe you can help me?

Your Version of “Miracle”

I’ve thought a lot recently about how much I want others to celebrate in my success — not as some form of sycophantic adulation, but rather, to feel — and know — that they have been a part of it with me. I would not be able to write, coach, speak or spread my message without the support, encouragement and advice of people in my inner-circle OR my virtual friends here on Medium.

And yet, sometimes, the world feels dark and cold. Sometimes, we celebrate alone. I started this piece with a video of Kurt Russell, from his outstanding portrayal of Coach Herb Brooks, for the movie Miracle. This scene has always given me the goose bumps, not just because of the victory, but because I love his reaction after winning the incredible 1980 Winter Olympic ice hockey match against the Soviet Union.

For some historical background, the U.S. ice hockey team, composed entirely of amateur college students, defeated the world-best Soviet Union hockey team in the semifinal round of the 1980 Winter Olympic ice hockey tournament. It’s one of the greatest sports victories (and simultaneous upsets) of all-time.

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours. It is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” — Bob Moawad

Herb Brooks had poured so much of himself into building up the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual chops of this group of 18–22 year-old men, constantly telling them that they could be great if they worked hard and wanted it badly enough.

In this moment, he realizes his dream, and yet he’s literally beside himself. He’s so overcome with joy and pride in his players, he needs time to soak it all in and immerse himself in the exceptional magnitude of this emotional, tremendous accomplishment.

On our journey, both before, during and once we’ve reached our destination, we want others to recognize our successes. We want respect. Respect, not always for the result, but for our grit, verve and resolve during the process. We yearn for respect because it helps validate what we’re doing, giving us confidence to become the best version of ourselves — in order to give that piece of ourselves back to the world.

Some of us want congratulations but there may not be adulation or celebration at what we do. That should never matter, anyway. Do it for yourself. Do what you do for those who have meant the most to you during your journey, the people giving you props along the way as you continue to ascend to the top of whatever your profession or success is.

Suffering

“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.” — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Far too often in advance of our personal journey, we’re sold a script that if we simply take the first step, everything will fall in place, as if we’re all living out some fairy-tale version of the movie, Frozen or (fill in your favorite Disney movie here) ________. Mine happens to be, Aladdin, if you’re keeping score at home.

Taking the first step is essential. Expecting that there won’t be adversity, setbacks and suffering along the way? Now that’s completely unrealistic.

Suffering is defined as, “the state of undergoing pain, hardship or distress.”

We’re all going to feel vulnerable, at times. I’ve come to accept this with my writing, personal relationships and career. Navigating through our lives requires an artistic approach, as opposed to a scientifically prescribed methodology to handling life’s choppy waters. We write our own scripts, as we take the initiative and enforce greater control over our direction.

Yet life always teaches us that sometimes, we have to let go of the reins. Anyone who has ever experienced success and failure knows that we cannot control every outcome or have a contingency plan for every wrinkle life throws at us. This is not to suggest that we shouldn’t be well prepared, just to know that there will be down times and periods of suffering — which if we’re willing to ride out, will only make us stronger and wiser for the wear.

Our journeys comprise feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt and wonder of whether others care if we’re moving forward, or if we’re just stuck in neutral. I’ve seen friends and colleagues beaten down with sickness, rejection or lack of recognition and appreciation while they’re already down. As Chris Martin once sang, “Nobody said it was easy.”

Desire, care, faith, hope and love power through this negativity, anxiety, despair and doubt. Mental and spiritual resolve are sometimes all we’ve got! We reach our destiny because we believe it, desire it and burn for it with passion and love. We keep going even when the odds are against us, when circumstances are not ideal and when no one seems to believe in us except ourselves.

Is That All You Got?

Last week, I was very sick. When I went to get checked out by the doctor, she told me, “You’re not drinking as much water as you think.” She went on to tell me the importance of drinking plain, regular, H2O, and how this should always be at the forefront of our diet — every day.

It got me to thinking about things, in a different light, regarding productivity. The management of our time. Are we doing enough? Are we feeling satisfied with the status quo? The conclusion I came to was, we often do not create as much output as we think. In other words, and this is as human as human gets, our perceptions are often out of wack and off-kilter.

Who are we really to be the best judge of what we can produce? We need to think beyond our circumstances and occasional plight. We need to re-assess our goals and progress on a weekly basis. Keep blowing the roof off and making your music loud and proud. Don’t set a fixed number in your head. Don’t let goals be the be-all, end-all. In a lot of instances, goals are the minimum.

Exceed your goals! Don’t just be on time. Go for more. Don’t just beat your best time. Shatter it!

I watched Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly recently promote her new book, Settle for More, which discusses her personal journey. Much of the book centers around how she turned her life around in her early 30s, while working a strenuous job as a lawyer. She talked about how she came home one night, exhausted, and turned on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Ahhhh, it all feels better on Oprah’s couch, doesn’t it?!

Staying on story, she said Dr. Phil spoke during one of the segments about personal empowerment. She relayed the following quote and discussed how it was a moment of reckoning for her. There’s a great deal of power behind these words. Here they are:

“The only difference between you and the people you envy is that you settled for less.” — Dr. Phil

We can look at those who we want to emulate — the people who serve as models for the type of path that we want for ourselves. Then, we have choices to make. We can do nothing. Stew in envy. Or we can be happy for their success and pour positive energy into wanting the same thing for ourselves.From there, it’s all about the willpower to act.

Along the way, as we go, we should be happy if others come along for the ride. Either way, that should not matter. Do it for yourself. Full of confidence, visualize the image of what your moment of triumph will someday look like. You’ll soon live it if you keep going. I believe I’ll find the same fate. We have to have faith. We have to rely on our values and dream big.

Value Yourself!

My upcoming book on Values is due out November 8th! Pre-order it now!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Do it For Yourself — A Story of Inspiration and Faith was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Truly grateful to see such an insightful and observant comment, Mario.

Truly grateful to see such an insightful and observant comment, Mario. That means a lot to see this — for real. Thank you for reading!

So well said, Michael!

So well said, Michael! Stale ideas bog me down. I always want to keep refreshing and reinventing. I’m so glad you enjoyed this — thank you!

Mukundarajan V N As always you are prescient and full of wisdom.

Mukundarajan V N As always you are prescient and full of wisdom. I always love reading your responses!! I’d be honored if you checked out my upcoming book, The Value of You. I’d truly love to know your thoughts. All my best to you, Sir.

Thank you very much, Anna! I truly appreciate your support. I hope you’re doing well!

Thank you very much, Anna! I truly appreciate your support. I hope you’re doing well!

To Get What You Want, You Must Speak it Over Your Life

For a long time in my life — too long — I didn’t always say what I really wanted. Of course, there are reasons for that. I didn’t always know exactly what I wanted or how to go about getting it. I had what I’d call, “flashes,” fleeting moments of vivid imagery, clarity and conviction about things that I loved- that I wanted to do or become.

Then, those moments would fade away, or remain in the back of my mind, as I’d move on to learn something new or waste and fritter away time on something of no consequence. I’d find distractions and things keeping me away from my real destiny; things that only served to occupy my mind for long enough to prolong my dreams.

It’s hard, even now, to make sense of what we’ll maybe never understand in this lifetime. It’s even harder when we don’t have a plan or a sense of direction.

I’d like to believe- and have come to comfortably feel- that many of our experiences in life are lessons that we can learn from. Part and parcel of that belief, is choosing to live with no regret. This is a decision that I came to peace with at the beginning of my adult life. Call it intuition or maybe the accumulation of experiences, even at that young age, but I knew living with regret would do me no good. It’s a fool’s sentence.

Take the time to ask yourself the question, how can living with regret possibly help me? I choose to answer that question by saying, “It cannot!” It’s one of the biggest traps we can fall in- one rife with anxiety and worry.

My new book is out November 8th. Pre-order HERE!Finding My Stride

I’ve really hit my stride over the last 5 years of my life. For one, I got married during this time. This decision was probably the best I’ve ever made. My relationship with my wife has given me love, companionship and a partner to share this life with. It’s helped to center me. Our marriage has given us a son. He is the greatest blessing I (we) have ever received.

I have matured, grown in faith and started to embody the values and principles that I hold dear– and always desired to live up to. I’ve come to believe that I can truly achieve any success- within reason- that aligns with my talents. I know that if I’m willing to work hard, think positively and pursue my goals persistently, I will get what I want.

“When riches begin to come they come so quickly, in such great abundance, that one wonders where they have been hiding during all those lean years.” — Napoleon Hill

(*please note, “riches” in the above quote do not mean financial or monetary. As defined by Napoleon Hill, the riches he speaks of lead to personal fulfillment. They are controlled by our thoughts.)

I’ve talked about hitting my stride, finding my calling in life and growing in love through the power of relationships. There have been several catalysts that have ignited my quest to become a greater version of myself and to find more meaning in my life.

Through contemplation, reflection and a remarkable family and friend network, I am able to see my future with greater clarity. I live more enthusiastically in the moment while still planning for my future- one that I believe will be prosperous and rewarding.

Why, you ask?

Learning to Speak Up For What I Want

Because I learned to say what I really want. I used to pursue jobs that I thoughtcould be the right fit. I emphasize the word “thought,” because I never really gave my professional career very deep thought. I knew I needed to make money. I ended up following something of a herd mentality: Well, I guess I need to find this job and work in business and work my way up the ladder.

I used to pursue friendships and romantic relationships that I didn’t think very deeply about. I went with the flow, allowing the breeze to take me where it wished. I ended up with scars, broken hearts, and more confusion.

It took me a while to learn that I needed to stop myself in my tracks. I needed to question myself at a deeper level. I know and understand this now because I taught myself how to do this. It took time, repetition and a desire for introspection to discover this. It took building my life on a foundation of core values.

I now practice this contemplative, deep reflection in my personal life in order to find answers and discover more of who I really am. I do it because I have found that it brings me greater joy, love and peace. I have carried this deep, analytical way of thinking- employing the Socratic method of questioning and thought progression- into the consulting work that I have done for Fortune 500 clients.

It’s a lot easier to get what you want when you know what you want- when you are touched by that feeling.

Once You Know, Go For It

I encourage you to say that you want something when you know it aligns with1) what you are qualified or skilled enough to do and 2) what your heart desires. While learning comes with every experience, you’re still more likely to waste your time when you’re doing things that don’t fit the above criteria.

Real opportunity comes when your heart and mind are captivated with interest in a particular subject or thing and you blend that interest with hard work and focus.

You’ll find yourself willing to roll up your sleeves and do whatever work is required- and even what is not!- in order to achieve success.

Trust me when I tell you, while it seems you may have forever to make up your mind or live out your dreams, the window is always (ever so slightly) closing on the time for your opportunity. Once you’ve figured out what it is that you want, please, declare it and say it out loud.

Do it in the mirror when no one is looking. The power of verbalizing your desires is tremendous. Pretty soon, you’ll be telling your goals and dreams to the world and then, actualizing them through your efforts.

I’ll close with the final words of my all-time favorite movie, Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. They’re worth remembering and thinking about, in more than just a fantastical sense.

Life is made for the dreamers who live with unlimited imagination and journey along, finding the courage and the confidence to become doers. Say what you want. You’ll soon find yourself getting you want and living a life that is every bit as incredible as it has been in your dreams.

“Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted. He lived happily ever after.” — Willie Wonka, as played by Gene Wilder

Value Yourself!

My upcoming book on Values is due out November 8th! Pre-order it now!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

To Get What You Want, You Must Speak it Over Your Life was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.