Christopher D. Connors's Blog, page 57

The Miracle of Life — 3 Lessons of Love

Life is truly a celebration — it all depends on how we look at it. One week ago, I was privileged to witness the birth of my second child. My beautiful baby boy arrived in the world one week early, much to the delight of two loving parents. For my wife and me, it was a long journey. One we weren’t sure would end in such joy. There were difficulties early in the pregnancy that caused us a tremendous amount of anxiety. Things looked doubtful.

The early part of last summer was such a confounding time in our lives. Still acclimating to a new city and job, both of us knew we were ready for a second child. But we weren’t prepared for the daily anxiety that comes with an at-risk pregnancy. First things first, what most people don’t tell you is just how hard it is to conceive a child. It’s not easy.

What you see in Hollywood and on TV is simply not the truth. When you get the real story from family, friends, relatives or even acquaintances who share their story, you realize that the gift of human life truly is a miracle. There are so many things that have to go right. Biologically, timing is absolutely essential for the woman. That may be obvious to some, but it’s truly very unique timing.

I also believe faith in each other and a higher power is very important. Just like in life, the journey to create a new human life is truly about strong faith and hope that things will work out. Perhaps you or someone you know has been on the extraordinarily difficult side of being unable to conceive — or maybe losing a child due to a miscarriage.

This is such a taboo subject, yet it’s so incredibly common. It’s a devastating loss for anyone and becomes quite the burden to bear. And it’s often done alone in quiet, in mourning and with only the support of immediate family. Because when it happens, you feel embarrassed. You feel indescribable sadness and pain. You don’t want to share it. You assume others won’t know what it feels like.

I know. I’ve been there before with my wife, prior to the birth of my first son. The truth is I’d love my two sons and wife more than anything in the world even if we hadn’t been through tremendous adversity. But knowing what we went through, it makes each day a gift. Even when I’m going through pain, adversity, stress or anxiety, I know how special life is — how much my family means to me.

I feel like the luckiest man in the world to have two healthy sons. I always wanted to become a father and I’m grateful for the opportunity. It adds color, happiness and love to my life. It made me think of three important lessons of the miracle of life. Whether you’re a parent, want to be one someday or simply just want to embrace the power of love in your life, here are three lessons I’ve learned along the way:

1. Never take any day for granted with those you love

As I look back at the past several years, I realize how much love, faith, hope, anxiety and pain I experienced in trying to start a family. There were many days where we weren’t certain we’d have a family. But I kept telling my wife that we had to believe. If we lost faith, we were already sunk. Already beaten. In life, whether it’s the desire to have a family or to succeed in anything you do, you have to believe.

Faith has a way of working to align the things we want most in life with our readiness to accept and nurture them. I’m surrounded by love in my life. Yes, there are pains and frustrations I experience everyday. But I have a loving family. And I always remind myself of this — I always try to give that one extra kiss or hug that shows my family I love them.

Give that extra kiss or hug to the person you love. Take the time to show them that you love them. Don’t miss an opportunity.

2. Timing is everything

Think about how different your life would be if you put your smartphone down for an extra 60 minutes everyday and you devoted that time to kind acts of love. You have the time you need in your day for what matters most. Treasure those moments. Embrace them. Go back to your values and dedicate yourself to the things that you know mean the most to you.

We all spend so much wasted time on things that don’t add value to our lives. The people we love the most will always add value to your lives. If you show someone else love, they will likely show you love in return. This is the gift of reciprocity!

3. Focus on the positive and celebrate the positive — because there will always be negative

I regularly encourage people in seminars and speeches I give at conferences and gatherings to always have a positive attitude. I say this with a caveat, however. There are going to be bad times, and we can’t always be the happiest, most upbeat person in the room. Life has its periods of mourning, as I well know. What I’m telling you is this: reduce those time periods to moments. Move on and get back to the positive things that matter.

Life is going to have good and bad. You know this. Focus on the positive. Focus on the loving parents and friends you have. Focus on your family and put them first above anything else that you do in life. Celebrate these gifts of love. I just got to celebrate the arrival of a beautiful newborn baby. Every time I look at him it brings so much love and happiness to my life. It’s truly a miracle and one I’m eternally grateful for.

What are you most grateful for? Please — find the people you love and give them a big hug. Tell them they make life a gift to celebrate.

Love is a Value. Value Yourself and Others!

The Value of You e-book is available for a limited time for just $2.99! Order the e-book HERE!

Join my newsletter if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Additional Reading

This Bold New Year’s Plan Will Change Your Life

3 Proven Techniques to Recharge Your Focus for the New Year

The Miracle of Life — 3 Lessons of Love was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Perla M. G. Foster Thank you on the kind wishes for my newborn baby!

Perla M. G. Foster Thank you on the kind wishes for my newborn baby!

I hold myself to making resolutions every year. I’m also the biggest proponent of writing and speaking your dreams and goals over your life. There’s a tremendous power in writing, verbalizing and thinking on what you want. It doesn’t just have to be a promotion or a new project. It could be the desire for a loving family. The desire to find someone you love. Resolutions offer me the opportunity for perspective and to keep improving. That’s why they work for me. All my very best to you for 2018 — thanks for reading my articles. All my best to you in your endeavors and for a loving, peace-filled life. Christopher

Muhammad Zeeshan Iqbal Thank you so much, my friend!

Muhammad Zeeshan Iqbal Thank you so much, my friend! Truly means a lot to see this! This is such a special time in my life — I’m very grateful to you! All my best to you and your family — Christopher

10 New Year’s Resolutions For Your and My Bold Personal Growth in 2018

Let’s be real honest — a lot of people these days have problems with New Year’s Resolutions. “That’s so old school!” “I don’t need New Year’s Resolutions — I’m already doing ____.” I’ve seen a chorus of friends and colleagues denounce this tried and true practice of using the change of calendar years to reset, take stock and start anew.

Here’s why New Year’s Resolutions matter: We all get lost, immersed and sometimes trapped in what we’re doing. Whether it’s good, bad, productive or time wasted, we don’t often know it in the moment. This is why perspective is so important. It’s vital to our success that we take a step back, take inventory of what we’re doing, where we’re going and whether it’s the right thing for us.

I wrote my 2017 New Year’s Resolutions last year in this publication and it led to a highly productive and successful year. I held myself accountable and I had many of you reach out to me telling me these resolutions had a profound impact on their lives. I know they make a difference.

I wrote recently about the three major components for putting together your personal mission statement. For me — everything begins with your purpose, your mission behind why you’re doing, what you’re doing. From there, you can build your foundation on rock-solid core values that last forever. I just wrote an Amazon Bestselling book on this topic — so I believe very strongly in its power!

From there, it’s a matter of putting together your definition of success, goals and objectives and highlighting exactly why you want to do what you’re doing. This is what goal-setting and making resolutions is all about. This leads to a plan! And having a plan for success is imperative if you want to live life on your own terms. Without a plan — without a guiding reason for doing — you’re far more likely to wander aimlessly.

I’ll be the first to admit — there’s nothing sexy about planning or resolutions Resolutions feel outdated to some or an exercise in futility. So if you feel this way, take this from Dr. Theo Tsaousides:

“One of the most important functions of the brain — and the most recent in terms of our evolution — is executive function, a cluster of cognitive abilities that evolved to enable us to set and achieve goals. This brain function is what sets us apart from all other living things. Most other creatures react based on instinct; we take action based on planning.”

This takes time, and it’s not nearly as fun as socializing or dreaming about that big idea. Most people walk away from dreams, not because of a lack of desire, but because they’re simply unwilling to “do the work.” Whenever you hear this very important phrase, know that “the work” first involves a foundation of values and then planning.

This must come before anything else! If you just jump in without direction, you may succeed at first, but sooner or later you’ll fail. It’s not sustainable

Here are my resolutions for 2018. These are personal but they have broad application. I think you’ll find a lot of yourself in here. I hope they give you the courage and confidence to put together your own resolutions in an effort to live the life you truly want. To quote Zac de la Rocha —

“We have to start somewhere. We have to start sometime. What better place than here? What better time than now?”

1. Find A Way

In the spring of 2017, I decided to jump back into the job market with a growing technology company. In so many ways, this has been a great decision. I’ve grown as a professional and I’ve been able to support my family. But it’s also taken me away from other things I love to do (I’ll talk about this more in my priorities section). So, in order to get what I want, I have to plan it out. And I have to find a way.

Think about your life. What’s holding you back right now from pursuing your dreams? If the answer to your question is simply, “time,” then you fall into the same group as me. You have to find a way. Start by trimming time off of unproductive activities like watching TV or spending minute-after-minute on your smartphone. Spend time working on your dream. At first, it may be research, fact-finding and information gathering.

Then, it’s pure “execution” of the doing part of whatever it is you love. Could be painting, writing, launching a business or developing a new app. Find a way.

2. Build on What You’ve Started

As many of you know, I released my first book two months ago — the Value of You. I spent several years developing the idea, writing, editing and arriving at a final product. The book has become an Amazon bestseller. This was a major goal of mine for 2017! So, now what? I’m already working on an e-book to follow this up. I’m touring the country on a book tour and speaking at universities, conferences and some corporate functions.

The point is — I’m building on the foundation of what I created.

As you begin your 2018 plans, look back at what you’ve already accomplished in 2017, 2016 and beyond! I’m willing to bet you’ve already produced some awesome work. Start consolidating those gains! Think at all that you’ve spent time on, the fruits you’ve produced of your labor. Build on those things. If you took a web development course, use that knowledge to proceed forward with what it is you love to do. Don’t stop now. KEEP GOING!

3. Take a Bold Chance

Remember how I talked about having so many great ideas, but needing to prioritize? That’s very important, though it shouldn’t hold you back from taking a bold chance. Two years ago, I launched my career coaching business. It was successful and a great opening foray into the market. I decided to focus more on my writing and speaking work, and also to get back into the workplace for a great organization.

But now? I’m ready to re-launch and see where it takes me, even while acknowledging there is so much unknown. For any of you considering entrepreneurship, just know there’s so much unknown in the market. But that should never stop you from taking a bold chance. Just because your market is saturated, by no means should that serve as a barrier to entry.

I know what I’m capable of and I know people have benefited from working with me. But I’m still reluctant to go “all in” with this. I need to shed that fear and take a bold chance. I bet there’s that one thing in your life. That itch you want to scratch. Be willing to take a bold chance when there’s no safety net there. Take a leap of faith when you have a great idea you believe in, and a well hashed out game plan for achieving your goal.

4. Become the Industry-Leader

I’ve written a successful book targeted to an audience that seeks to build their life on a rock-solid foundation of values and goal-planning. I’ve been recognized by my peers, gained acceptance in the writing community and had some awesome media appearances. Others are beginning to recognize me as an expert in this space. And I’m happy to walk through the door and live this.

My advice to you is to think of your greatest talent — your greatest skills — and what you spend your time on. Become an expert in one thing first, then you can start acquiring the skills and knowledge in multiple areas. But start with one thing first. Become the best. Become an industry leader and sought-after expert. Dedicate that time and keep growing. Speak it over your life!

5. Get into the Best Shape of Your Life

Cliche, right? Of course it is. This is the obvious advice given at this time of year. But, guess what? It has tremendous relevancy to you wanting to accomplish your many goals. The better you feel physically, the more that affects your emotional, mental and even spiritual life. You’ll need your beautiful brain to achieve your goals.

I’m trying to up the amount of activity I have both for cardiovascular and strength training. But I’m also cutting down on unnecessary foods and dieting better. So much of the battle of getting into great shape is eating well. But don’t diminish the importance of getting in an extra 1–2 days per week to jump rope, run or do some crunches.

6. Read more, keep learning and keep meeting people that will help you grow

This is not a new resolution. This is a constant reminder of what I know I need to be successful. The more I’ve read, the more I’ve hungered to learn and the more I’ve gone out to meet people, the more it’s benefited me. I usually take meetings with a particular purpose, but I’m also open to meeting someone without a specific objective. One meeting completely changed my life.

Networking gets an ugly name but it’s the name of the game if you’re truly looking to further yourself. Have a voracious appetite for reading, learning and constantly growing. Keep a journal and keep locking in the gains you make each day.

7. Embrace the Fear of Failure in all walks of life

This one is very simple. I’ve written extensively about both the “good” and “bad” types of fear. The bad type of fear is the fear of success. Fearing that you’ll accomplish your dreams, and not know how to handle it. So you move away.

The good type of fear is the fear of failure. I’ve come to believe through experience that embracing the fear of failure is one of your greatest assets. Adversity is life’s most powerful tool that helps mold you into the person you truly want to become. Fear is equally as important in helping to drive you to success. Embrace your fears in all areas of life. Keep going!

8. Enthusiasm and Discipline United!

One of the best things you can do each day this year is this: Blend your enthusiasm with a huge heaping of discipline. What do I mean by this? Have huge passion, love and enthusiasm for every day and every moment. Have enthusiasm for everything you do. It could be the love of your family, your day job, your new project or learning a new craft. Be passionate!

Find a way to get excited about the mundane (while you’re there), find a way to get excited about all that you do. But also be disciplined. Go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, have a set plan for every day to maximize production. Be disciplined in how you use your time. You need both enthusiasm and discipline if you’re truly going to be productive and happy. Which leads me to my final two resolutions…

9. Self-Care

This is a simple reminder that the very basics of human living are absolutely essential to launching your journey to a life of personal freedom and happiness. Get a good night’s sleep. Eat well and exercise. If you don’t have these basics in your life now, then you should consider a lifestyle transformation that gets your physical self-care in order.

But it’s not just physical. Self-care is mental and emotional. Be kind to yourself. Don’t be too critical of yourself. As a mentor of mine is fond to tell me, “Give yourself some grace.” Mistakes are expected and welcomed. Learn from them and take the best care of yourself that you can.

10. Priorities

I close with priorities because they’re so much of what will determine your journey and course for success. You can do anything you set your mind to. You must game plan for it. Just know that life is full of competing priorities. How you budget your time is up to you. Like you, there are a lot of things I want to accomplish. I have so many things I want to do and YES!, not enough time for all of them.

First and foremost, I put my family first. My wife just gave birth to another beautiful child, my second son. I have to focus on them above everything else, while still finding the time to pursue my dreams and goals. The better planned I am, the more these priorities resonate with my personal mission statement and feelings of my heart, the better equipped I am at doing what is in line with my destiny.

Life is all about how we prioritize. May your 2018 bring you a life you love and one that brings you closer and closer to living your dreams!

Make 2018 Your BEST Year!

The Value of You e-book is available for a limited time for just $2.99! Order the e-book HERE!

Join my newsletter if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Additional Reading

This Bold New Year’s Plan Will Change Your Life

3 Proven Techniques to Recharge Your Focus for the New Year

10 New Year’s Resolutions For Your and My Bold Personal Growth in 2018 was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

How to Build Your Personal Mission Statement and Transform Your Life

In order to know where you’re going, it helps to know where you’ve been. All right, I promise, only one cliché for this piece. Keep me honest and bear with me! I start with this to say that in order to best position yourself for a life of happiness, it is extremely helpful to have a philosophy around what you hope to be, and what you intend to accomplish.

Some people call this a personal creed or mission statement. This is written documentation that establishes three things:

1) Your Purpose
2) Your Direction
3) The substance of things that matter to you

Your purpose — or your raison d’être — is the reason why you’re doing what you’re doing with your life. As I wrote about previously, I encourage you to look at this from a blank slate in order to get to the brass-tacks truth of what you really want your mission to be in life. This should be organic and developed only by you — free and unfettered from any influences or emotions of the moment.

Your direction is your plan — and the actions that you must take in order to fulfill the requirements of your plan. Too often, many people doubt themselves because they don’t think they’re ready to begin moving in the direction of what they want to accomplish. They think it’s not their time, they’re lacking in a particular area or they’re too young — they’re hindered by limiting beliefs which beget doubt and fear.

Oftentimes, it simply makes sense to begin even with very tiny steps toward completing tasks and goals that match up with your purpose. This is where writing out your goals and putting them into a plan comes in. This is your direction — the compass that will guide you when life gets in the way, you’re too busy, too tired or hungry. Planning is essential.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” — Maya Angelou

The substance of things that matter to you are part and parcel of your purpose, and should be incorporated, as much as possible, into what you do each day. These are the core values, ideals, principles, people and also the things that bring enthusiasm and passion to your life. Beliefs or activities that get you exciting and mean something to you.

In other words — as Bono once sang, “all that you can’t leave behind.”

The Power of Planning

Successful businesses, schools, hospitals, sports teams and individuals begin by stating their goals and addressing how they intend to achieve them. These collective individuals understand the importance of accountability, and the power behind committing to a specific philosophy. They understand their purpose, what dedicating time and effort to a cause means and what taking ownership over something is all about.

Equally as important as writing a mission statement, is to define — for yourself — what your definition of success is. Never let anyone else define success for you. You should always take the time to do this for yourself. In a competitive landscape, it’s easy to be concerned with how others are doing. To stress and worry about such things is natural. It’s human.

When you have a mission statement, you’ll realize the power behind deciding for yourself how successful you can and will be. Your mission statement and definition of success serve as the foundation for all future attempts at becoming who you hope to be. Several years ago, I wrote mine. Here it is:

To live each moment to the fullest by having a positive attitude, a smile and a genuine enjoyment for life, while giving everything I have to love the people and environment around me and make it a better place.

You’ll notice that this is indeed a philosophy, a high-level view of how I’d like to conduct myself in this world, and a few of the actions I’d like to take. This is not a series of marching orders or specific goals intended for a short duration. Your philosophy is strategic, while short-term goal setting is tactical.

Setting goals helps you focus on specific things you aim to accomplish and how you plan to accomplish them. The mission statement is crucial for establishing the things that matter to you. This leads to the development of your own personal values and principles.

“Outstanding people have one thing in common: An absolute sense of mission.” — Zig Ziglar

There have likely been millions of thought impulses that have flashed through your mind during the course of your life. Even for those of you in your teen years. These thought impulses are acted upon, left in the recesses of your subconscious mind or ignored. Your thoughts lead to your life’s experiences and those experiences are often shared in the company of others.

All of these things have an enormous impact on how you make decisions. Your decisions will impact your course in life and whether you will find yourself happy, ambivalent or disappointed.

When I think back to putting together my philosophy, I reminisce about past relationships, experiences, thought impulses and emotions. I think of the times when I’ve been happiest, times I’ve been down, moments of peace and distress, and the times I’ve found my greatest inspiration. My inspiration is derived from my core philosophy.

“A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.” — Mahatma Gandhi

My motivation comes from the “fire” inside of me, the indescribable power that fuels my dreams and inner creativity. I acknowledge this “fire” as a gift that God has given me. A beautiful, divine power that I believe all of us can tap into if we have the desire and we believe.

This power will lead us to personal freedom, greater clarity of thought, vitality and energy to bring into our everyday lives. All this requires is a willingness to believe in God and yourself, and the desire to get to the core of what fuels your inner fire. Introspection and deep, personal reflection are key to living a life of freedom.

They help us to analyze our experiences and thoughts, and determine how we can use them to our future advantage. They provide us with a greater sense of direction and purpose. Along with your mission statement, they form the backbone of your future destiny.

Make 2018 Your BEST Year!

The Value of You e-book is available for a limited time for just $2.99! Order the e-book HERE!

Join my newsletter if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Additional Reading

This Bold New Year’s Plan Will Change Your Life

3 Proven Techniques to Recharge Your Focus for the New Year

How to Build Your Personal Mission Statement and Transform Your Life was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

You Control Your Destiny — Develop Your Daily Inspirational Routine

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

The winter solstice recently passed and now, we find ourselves deep in the peak of shortened days, cold weather and lots of time inside with family and relatives. The lack of sun can really damper our moods and take away some of our energy. If we let it. Winter can make it challenging to find inspiration at times. But the days of less sunlight can also lead to great opportunities for solitude, reflection and contemplation.

While it may be tough to feel as inspired, I find that wintertime often is great for planning and refocusing our priorities. Some of my best ideas, as well as my most productive planning and actions have taken place at this time of the year. In fact, the majority of the writing that I did for my first book, The Value of You, occurred during the wintertime last year. It was a special time I’ll never forget.

Following the holidays, there are less distractions. And as a result, there are more reasons to find things that inspire and light the fire inside of our hearts.

In this vein, I urge you to develop an inspirational routine each morning. It may come through the power of meditation, prayer, genuine heartfelt interaction with those that you love or from your favorite song. It could be a video that plays back the piano recital you played to perfection that brought the house down.

It may be the words of this article or a book you find so profound and hold in such high esteem, you get the chills before opening the pages.

Develop your routine. I’ll show you what works for me and how you can integrate this into your life. But first, a story.

A Story To Tell

Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought. — Napoleon Hill

This is a story I know well. It’s the story of my best friend, my brother, Kevin. These days my brother is seen on national television five nights each week on ESPN. He’s a broadcast journalist and celebrity in his own right. Everything he has can be attributed to his natural talents, perseverance, desire and faith in himself.

Kevin worked hard until he reached the pinnacle of his profession. He reached the top because he envisioned himself reaching the top. He dreamed big and thought prodigious, stimulative thoughts. He had the mindset of a winner. But keep in mind, Kevin’s success did not come overnight.

Kevin knew when he was in 8th grade what he wanted to do with his life. He started announcing sports scores over the intercom at our middle school. He did the same thing while in high school. Kevin used his basketball-playing ability to earn an athletic scholarship at the college level, where he attended a school with one of the top Radio & TV programs in the United States.

After graduation, he embarked on what is now a nearly 20-year career in sports broadcasting. He busted his tail for nine long years at a regionaltelevision station making meager money. There were moments of doubt, frustration and at times, loneliness. Kevin dreamed of being on national television or working in a big market. But it seemed so far away.

He concentrated on getting better each day. He surrounded himself with inspiring thoughts, stories and images of fellow broadcasters who made the big time, as well powerful stories of athletes. He kept going. Kept believing.

Finally, his big break came in 2006 when he accepted a job with WCBS radio in New York. Less than one year later, he was working on television for WCBS-TV. And in 2008, he reached the big time: he was hired by ESPN. 11 years after graduating college, with a few lean years in between where he thought about quitting or changing professions, Kevin received an offer to work at the worldwide leader of sports.

Your Journey

Chances are, you will not find success or personal fulfillment in your first job. Few people are blessed with both the talent and foresight to know precisely what they want to do with their lives right after college. Even less people know and possess this ability at a young age. My brother, Kevin, is one of those precious few lads who did know.

We all have unique stories to share with the world. Where are you on your journey? Are you going through the doldrums of doubt and fear? Do you see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel — the end-vision of your goal? And if you do, are you running into road blocks of creativity? What are your mental challenges? What are your emotional battles?

Perhaps your path is as open as the Pacific Coast Highway at sunset in Laguna Beach. Maybe it’s a Midtown Manhattan traffic jam. It’s all a state of mind. We need inspiration to help us create the beautiful landscapes of limitless possibility in our mind that serve as the foundation for our magical journeys.

You are the creator of your world. When you are safe in the knowledge that you control your worldly destiny, nothing will ever stop you. Those with a winning mindset are never denied. They inspire themselves to achieve great things.

Here’s How to Develop Your Routine

“Great are they who see that spiritual is stronger than any material force — that thoughts rule the world.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Make your routine an every day thing. As I’ve climbed the mountain of productivity this year, I realize that I never want to come down. The ascension — the journey — has been a magical ride and it reassures me that all of my progress toward self-actualization, as well as greater harmony and rhythm in living the life of my destiny has been worth the pain and occasional doubts.

Dedicate 10 minutes of contemplation time, ideally, at the beginning of each day. This sets the tone for your day and gets you feeling inspired.Use this time alone in solitude, in a quiet place. Focus your thoughts on positive, stimulative thoughts such as: romantic love, sexual love for a partner, girlfriend/boyfriend, wife or husband. Also, music, friendship and envisioning yourself attaining success or fame. There’s tremendous power that comes through dreaming and seeing yourself standing “in the winner’s circle .”Get these positive thoughts going and keep them going. Write down these thoughts that come to mind. Keep referring back to them throughout your work day or school day. Think of them when you’re out in the social world, during moments of difficulty or times of joy. Look at them again before you go to bed at night and reset your mind. Then rest and get read for the new day with excitement, anticipation and a clear mind for fresh, new thoughts.

I’ve got a long, long way to go. Chances are, so do you. The way to cultivate and build momentum — which you can then transform into empowered thought and constructive action is through inspiration — the power of “fire” that lifts your spirit and brings you unbridled enthusiasm. Be inspired everyday.

What has become truer for me by the day is the concept that we control our own destiny through the power of our thoughts. We emotionalize our ideas with the power of love, faith and hope. We take these thoughts and envision ourselves doing what we desire. And we put it into plan and take the action that we’ve dreamed of. It really is that simple. Do this and you will never be denied.

There is no shame in any idea, as long as you believe in it and feel it will add value to your life and the lives of others. Don’t concern yourself with the ingenuity of your idea. Your race, your cause is the one that speaks to the desires and dreams of your heart. That’s what makes you unique and special.

Be inspired. Enjoy this winter season and take some time for yourself to develop a routine that positions you for fulfillment and productivity. As St.Francis of Asisi once wrote, “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

Make 2018 Your BEST Year!

The Value of You e-book is available for a limited time for just $2.99! Order the e-book HERE!

Join my newsletter if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Additional Reading

This Bold New Year’s Plan Will Change Your Life

3 Proven Techniques to Recharge Your Focus for the New Year

You Control Your Destiny — Develop Your Daily Inspirational Routine was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Absolutely- you can have your cake and eat it too!

Absolutely- you can have your cake and eat it too!

This Bold New Year’s Plan Will Change Your Life (It Did Mine)

One of life’s toughest challenges is something that we face repeatedly each day: holding ourselves accountable. Let’s face it — we can have all the talent, a brilliant imagination and the support of others, but if we’re not disciplined enough to focus and hold ourselves to a plan, then all our bold ideas won’t matter. Accountability is paramount, and it begins with you.

Being accountable to ourselves requires sharp focus and self-control. It also requires a benchmark, or standard, that we can refer back to, that helps us track our progress. I begin each year with New Year’s Resolutions, which are aimed at adding bold, new challenges to plan, while also helping me make incremental improvements in areas where I made strides the previous year.

(Please see my upcoming column on New Year’s Resolutions this Monday)

I encourage you to not just make resolutions, but rather, to write the game plan for your life. This plan starts with a measure of accountability — or a charter — that will serve as the compass that enables you to forge the path of your dreams. This is where you define success. It’s where you state your goals and write out the guiding values that shape your human experience.

It will forever change your course in life.

I’m so confident of this because this very strategy enabled me to go from working for leaders of Fortune 500 companies to coaching and consulting for them. It led me to write my first book, The Value of You, and to become an Amazon Bestseller. I now have successful businesswomen and men, as well as aspiring writers reaching out to me to ask me for my secret to success.

I dont mind sharing it because my core mission in life is to help and serve others. I want you to be successful and happy. I want you to live life on your terms, free of the burdens of doing things you don’t really want to do just to make a buck. It’s not easy. Trust me, I’m no salesman of lofty ideas with grandiose promises.

It takes hard work, dedication, repetition, consistency and tremendous belief in yourself. But it begins with holding yourself accountable. Listed below is the plan to help you get there and build your foundation. I hope it brings tremendous values to your life.

Here are the key ingredients:

· An overarching objective

· Definition of Success

· Success Measures (which fortify and serve as milestones for your definition of success

· Goals

· Risks

Values

· Key Deliverables (what you will actually produce — something tangible)

I’ve taken this model and implemented this — with tremendous results — first, in my own life, but also for my coaching clients. I encourage each individual to write a personal charter. Whether you are a writer, small business owner, artist, athlete or student, a well-defined plan will help drive you toward commitment, and increase the probability of achieving your goals.

Dr. Timothy A. Pychyl discusses further:

“In a series of well-designed studies, E.J. Masicampo (Wake Forest University) and Roy Baumeister (Florida State) demonstrated that committing to a specific plan for a goal frees up cognitive resources for our other pursuits. So, in addition to helping us be more successful with the specific goal we’re planning, planning lets us get on with other stuff too. Once a plan is made, we can stop thinking about the one goal and make room for others.” Source: Psychology Today

Objective

Here is my objective:

To live each moment to the fullest by having a positive attitude, a smile and genuine enjoyment for life, while giving everything I have to love the people and environment around me, and achieve my goals and success on my terms.

What is yours? Have you thought about this? Maybe your time to do so is this weekend.

One of the major life goals formy personal charter was to publish my first book. A quick win that I achieved was first the completion of my first draft. Easier said than done! But once I did, I felt an exhilarating sensation, a helpful dose of adrenaline that propelled me forward and inspired me to keep going.

What are the successes that you are most proud of? Chances are, you had some quick wins along the way that made an enormous difference in propelling you forward.

Quick Wins and Risk

I’ve written previously about the power of defining success on your terms. I’m a big believer that having an overall objective, accompanied by smaller, incremental goals, will help orient you toward what you really want.Successful business leaders that I’ve observed always have an objective in mind. They could tell you what it is on a moment’s notice.

Small incremental goals serve as “quick wins” that help us achieve small successes, in an Agile manner. These quick wins sustain us, empowering and fueling us to continue persevering.

Risks are the potential impediments that could derail and impede our progress forward. This does not mean that they will occur. Just that they are possible. We can assess and assign numerical values to their probability. Furthermore, even if they do, a strong mindset and plan geared toward avoiding and mitigating risks will smooth the road to success.

Accountability

Accountability is certainly made easier through friends or colleagues that we trust, but the way to really ensure that you’re doing what you resolved to do, is to hold yourself accountable first. I dedicate time — at least once per day — to reviewing my daily or weekly plan. I also review my personal charter on a weekly basis.

While plans will change, your charter should stay the same, as long as you are in noble pursuit of your goals. Like values, which stand the test of time and remain constant, your charter is there to help you weather the storm of changing emotions. It’s a rock-solid foundation of confidence and direction that you can always check-in with to make sure you’re accomplishing all you hope to do.

If you are the best judge of your own success and character — (you are!) — then you are also intelligent and capable enough to measure yourself against what you planned to do. Accountability and productivity tools like Evernote, OneNote and Outlook are wonderful and they DO help. But all the tools in the world won’t actually get you to commit to action.

Only you can do that. You control your willpower.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Take the time to do the work, then begin in earnest to attain the big goals in support of your objective. Define your deliverables. What do you want to actually produce that will help you get to where you really want to be? Write those things down but don’t obsess over them. Obsess over the journey. Relish in getting up each day to achieve your big goals and dreams.

The best part is the journey!

Get inspired! Use each day as a building block to help lay your foundation, so that before long, you’re well on the way to constructing your masterpiece.

Make 2018 Your BEST Year!

The Value of You e-book is available for a limited time for just $2.99! Order the e-book HERE!

Join my newsletter if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Additional Reading

No One Will Ever Care More About Your Success than You

3 Proven Techniques to Recharge Your Focus for the New Year

This Bold New Year’s Plan Will Change Your Life (It Did Mine) was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

An Open-Mind and Positive Attitude Will Make All the Difference

Oftentimes in interviews, we’ll see famous actors, writers, athletes or scientists asked the question, “What is the best advice you have ever received?” Sometimes, these people will say things like, “Be Yourself” or “Stay positive.” Taken in the abstract, these words can seem trite. Life experiences, both individual and cumulative, are so personal and intimate to each individual.

It’s impossible for us to place ourselves in the shoes of another person, at the given moment where a life-changing dispense of advice was received. We’ll always relate better to our own moments. Without proper context, words like “Attitude is Everything,” don’t retain their same emotional value. They’re better explained through anecdotes and stories like this one:

A few weeks before the start of my college basketball career, my high school coach mailed me one of those “positive-thinking” cards that you’ve likely seen before in posters like this:

In fact, this was the exact cover of the card! The card’s exterior was not what inspired me. Rather, it was the words inside that proved to be worth their weight in diamonds.

I was a good high school player and I earned a scholarship to play basketball at the college level. Basketball was the passion of my life. In fact, I was so passionate, I was also a hot-head, at times. I didn’t do a great job of controlling my emotions on the court. My high school coach knew that. He knew I had the talent and the drive to be a strong player at the next level. The purpose of his card was to remind me of one essential point:

“Your attitude will take you farther than your talents.”

What he meant was, I had all the tools to be a successful player. I’d go as far as my ability to control my emotions. My playing time and enjoyment of playing college basketball was dependent on a positive attitude. Those words meant a lot and I kept them in mind each day during preseason workouts, tryouts, practices and games. I kept an open mind as I experienced a difficult first year in college hoops.

So why does this story — this message of a positive attitude matter to you? Because as you begin to build your resolutions and goals for 2018, and as you re-charge your ambition and drive to accomplish what you dream about, you need to stay positive. No, not every single second of every day. We all get down, angry and need moments of mourning.

But in the long-run, if you want sustained success and happiness, you’ll need to stay positive. Positivity becomes a mindset that permeates your thinking, influences your actions and shapes the way others think of you. It’s magnetic, in that a positive attitude attracts and inspires other people. If you want to be your best, you’ll get there faster by surrounding yourself with motivated, inspired people who want to be a part of something special — with you.

Eliminate Negativity

“Hard work and an open mind — it’s the only way to realize the potential that is inside every one of us.” ~ Chrissie Wellington

Family members and trusted advisers in my life have been instrumental in providing me with maxims to live by, such as, “Follow your heart.” The great Walt Disney quote comes to mind, that my Mom and Dad are fond to tell me, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” It always begins with an idea! The fertile ground for the generation of ideas is a clear, open mind.

I am drawn to greater freedom of mind and clarity of thought that involve living as open-minded of a life as I can. When we liberate ourselves from learned stereotypes, foolish negativity and discouragements of the past, we take bold steps toward becoming more open-minded. We become more receptive to opportunities and more accepting of others. We experience greater peace and harmony with ourselves.

I believe this is because we are proactively taking steps to become the person we are meant to be. The open-minded person lives the mantra of, “Every adversity presents an opportunity of an equivalent advantage.” They are able to accept temporary difficulty and convert it into a more positive, emotionalized state of mind and outcome.

We can always ward off cynicism and a “know-it-all” attitude by keeping an open mind and giving every matter the attention of a fresh, new look. By my own observation, it seems that an increase in cynicism is in direct proportion to an increase in age. Once we’ve suffered, been wronged, let down, dismissed or hurt, it’s harder for us to keep an open mindset of renewal.

I urge you in these moments to think counter-intuitively in relation to your difficult experiences, and double your faith in yourself. Open-mindedness is built on trust, faith and an acceptance of a call to action in our lives. Open-mindedness is the antithesis of anxiety, stress and intolerance. Free your mind and actively focus on leaving your worries behind. They’re not worth it.

You’ll find brand new doors open simply by entertaining new possibilities.

Perseverance

“If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.” — Marcus Aurelius

If I dwell too much on the future and what I don’t have now, I lose sight of what is most important — living in the moment. By focusing only on what I have not yet accomplished, or what I don’t have in my life, I completely lose sight of the task at hand. As Bono would tell you:

“What you don’t have, you don’t need it now.”

We have the ability to enable our willpower to believe and carry out any plans that we commit to action. We will encounter adversity and self-doubt, though we must persevere. Self-doubt and fear have a tendency of making us look too far into the future. A future-looking mindset is good, as long as it doesn’t consume our present.

This can be the downfall of the dreamer; the person who allows their feet to lift off without maintaining balance on the ground. The differentiating factor of living a life of happiness and self-fulfillment — for so many of us — is perseverance.

When we become complacent and settle, negativity and negative emotions pervade our being and affect how we see our path ahead. Please take note of these areas that can seem harmless, but are major detriments to success, as well as short and long-term happiness!

Imagination is an integral force of the emotionally intelligent mind, but not if we’re always stuck in dream mode. We can strike the right balance of using our imagination to envision our future, while persevering in the moment to secure our present. It takes resilience and courage to live with an open mind.

It’s always worth being brave, and having the presence of mind to think clearly without any self-inflicted restrictions. You’ll find yourself thinking more clearly — more boldly — when you keep an open mind and stay positive.

Make 2018 Your BEST Year!

The Value of You e-book is available for a limited time for just $2.99! Order the e-book HERE!

Join my newsletter if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Additional Reading

No One Will Ever Care More About Your Success than You

3 Proven Techniques to Recharge Your Focus for the New Year

An Open-Mind and Positive Attitude Will Make All the Difference was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Please keep writing. I love your stuff, Natasha Kurien. Happy New Year to you!

Please keep writing. I love your stuff, Natasha Kurien. Happy New Year to you!