Christopher D. Connors's Blog, page 60

And the award for most cynical comment goes to — Focus Blue! Congratulations!

And the award for most cynical comment goes to — Focus Blue! Congratulations!

TJ — I think you really missed the point.

TJ — I think you really missed the point. You launch into a quasi-attack on me and I don’t quite get it. I used five examples in the body of the text that lay out actions to take to live a bolder life. I use Medium to express myself and share my thoughts. A lot of people (thankfully) have responded well to it. I literally just published my first book last week and it’s an accomplishment I’m very proud of. I’ve had hundreds of people asking me to share details of the book, so I chose to do that. I’m sorry this didn’t offer you something, but it’s offered value to many others. Thanks for reading!

The Proven Strategy for Persevering and Following Your Dream

One of the toughest things for us to do in life is to admit when we’re wrong. My Mom would tell me growing up, her father — my grandfather — used to say, “It takes a big man (or woman) to admit when he/she is wrong and apologize.” Many of us are often wrong and don’t even know it. Or worse yet, we do know it and we continue to plod on, committing deliberate actions that hurt ourselves and others.

But what about when we’re right?

When we’re right, there are really two options. We believe we’re right or we don’t. Dig a little deeper and you’ll understand the essential difference between these two outcomes: Believing we’re right and acting accordingly is what will make us great. Doubting ourselves while acting upon the right thing is perhaps the most dangerous, self-inflicted damage we can do to our psyche.

Clearly, we’re working on getting to the right mindset and doing the right thing. Easier said than done, right? Not really. These two things require the two qualities that are always within our control: attitude and effort. It’s here that we develop the realization that we have the power to move forward. That we actually can create our own destiny. This is the best strategy and mindset to adopt to get what we want in life.

My new book is now available! Order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRVYour Personal Story

One of the toughest things I’ve ever wrestled with as a human, business professional and writer, was believing that other people cared about my personal story. It took me a long time to realize that others did. Part of it was fear of the unknown. I might be rejected. Others might criticize me! Oh, the horror.Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

Or does it? Because I’ve found that’s the problem that so many of us have. We create this chasm IN OUR MINDS that putting ourselves out there — in whatever we do — is so difficult, purely because we fear what others might say.

That’s the excruciating damage of self-inflicted negative thinking. It is insidious, destructive and limiting. It blocks us from a path that is likely the one we are meant to travel — whatever our occupation, passion or interest is. The power of putting ourselves out there, telling our real story and feeling confident doing so, is one of the secrets to living a purposeful life.

While the local and national news paint a picture of dread, despair and angst, the truth is that the world and its citizens — the vast majority of them — are kind, loving, empathetic people who care about others.

I’ve found that many of the people here in the Medium community are precisely such people. I’ve been blessed both digitally and in person to meet some extraordinarily caring, genuine people in my life that have taken an interest in me.

I’ve learned through networking (Yikes, that ugly word!) that taking a chance on a conversation with someone will bring happiness, new ideas and fun to our lives. We have the opportunity over a cup of coffee or meal to genuinely show an interest in getting to know others, while they do the same with us.

We get to put our ideas and stories out there in public, to hopefully gain some new supporters and believers — people willing to go to bat for us as we pursue our dreams. It’s this first step that is absolutely essential to building and persevering in our strategy and continuing to follow our dream. Without this, without believing in ourselves and taking a chance, we cannot live the life we want.

The Fountainhead

I want to tell the story of the great author, Ayn Rand, and her effort to publish her bestselling novel, The Fountainhead. As a matter of fact — I was further brought to read her novels by many of you who commented on my post about the 15 books that helped to shape my mind.

Ayn Rand’s classic, The Fountainhead, was rejected by a whopping 12 publishers before the Bobbs-Merrill Company decided to take a chance on this, “unsaleable and unpublishable,” book. At least those were the famous last words of one mighty foolish publisher.

12 rejections.

What mattered and helped Rand’s cause was an inspiring review from the New York Times:

“You will not be able to read this masterful book without thinking through some of the basic concepts of our time.”

If only we all were so fortunate. Yet words like those tend to be gifted toward individuals who create art that transcends their time and generations thereafter. From there, the flight of The Fountainhead was airborne, and as the word of her book spread across the world, people began to read and become inspired by her empowering themes of individualism and objectivism.

Staying the Course

When you believe in your idea and back it with faith and unrelenting persistence, you find that rejection is in fact your best friend. I’ve come to believe that rejection is the ignition to start fine-tuning our lives and guiding them toward the direction that our heart is leading us.

I thought about these things as I wrote my book, The Value of You, over the past year. There were moments of doubt, just as there are for even the world’s most confident and accomplished people. But what made this book possible was my willingness to publish on this awesome platform, and to put myself out there. I first wrote only for myself. Over the last several years, I put myself out there and I began to thrive. It’s made all the difference.

I’m soothed by the lack of reception — initially — that Ayn Rand dealt with for what became one of the most enduring classics of the 20th Century. There was no immediate success to be had. Rather, disappointment. However, that disappointment was met with an open-armed embrace of taking up the gauntlet and continuing on because she knew she was right.

She knew her book was special. She believed that if she stayed the course, she would indeed be rewarded.

Getting the Right Results

Being right and knowing you are right comes primarily from four things: research, observation, validation of others and intuition.

Copyright: Christopher Connors- 3C Coaching

As you see in the quadrant, I believe the optimal state is to have a strong, believing mindset that is backed up with the most constructive actions. What is most damaging, I’ve found, is to do the right thing yet believe that what you’re doing has all been in vain — that you’re wrong and worse, that doubt and fear begin to creep in.

I’ve found that actions can often easily be corrected but attitude adjustments are much harder to make. Changing our attitude is frankly, a matter of willpower. This requires breaking down and beating old habits that have discouraged, distracted and prevented us from our potential.

It’s very difficult to turn things around when the breaks haven’t been going our way — or when we haven’t yet found results in whatever endeavor we have chosen. While it’s certainly teetering on the border of danger when you’re doing the wrong thing but believing you’re right, it’s simply easier to correct those actions through observation and study.

That’s what great mentors, teachers, coaches and influencers are for. Seek knowledge and wisdom from those who are in a position to help and are willing.

For all of us, our goal should be to move to the “northeast” part of the quadrant where our actions are in line with the positivity of our attitude. Strong conviction does not equal stubbornness. Strong conviction and belief in yourself equals faith, which begets patience, persistence and perseverance.You’ll never just be able to get by with only a positive attitude.

You must back that with an intelligent, industrious work ethic that consistently approaches each day with optimism, anticipation and a refusal to compromise.

Go “All In”

It pains me to see people on the right path who lack the conviction because of fear of the unknown. I can sense it immediately because I spent so many years of my life with this mindset. Call it “youngest child syndrome.” Call it an overly fearful view of the world mixed with trepidation about what others might think.

Call it what it is and then stop making excuses. Know that when you go “all in” and put yourself out there, the world doesn’t seem so scary. It’s invigorating, actually. You learn the proven strategy of believing in yourself and persevering by taking a chance. If you never take a chance, you’ll never know. But if you have the courage to move forward, you’ll begin to live the life you’ve always wanted.

Value Yourself!

My new book on Values is out NOW! Order it here!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

The Proven Strategy for Persevering and Following Your Dream was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This Is the Biggest Obstacle to Your Success and Happiness

I find with each passing day that the biggest obstacle in our lives is the person we look at each morning in the mirror. This is both a blessing and a curse. We all demand a lot of ourselves. We have enormous dreams that some would probably laugh at and dismiss. Sometimes, in moments of weakness, we cave in to the fears and temporary worries. Will we be able to pull it off? That’s no lie.

While inner-doubt is real and a battle worth fighting each day, I find that obstacles also come from many people in different forms and doses. A snide comment. A dismissive retort to an idea at work. Even someone close to you casting aspersions over a speech you gave, piece you wrote or song you played at a gig.

You must survive external and self-criticism if you want to find happiness, success and peace of mind. I’ve seen rising musicians, actors, writers, comedians, lawyers and athletes melt under the burning heat of criticism. It’s sickening to watch and it can be avoided. But you have to know how. Resolve helps too.

My new book is now available! Order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRVMotivating Factors

I’ve written previously about the need for motivating factors at the beginning of each day that we can read aloud and speak over our lives. Napoleon Hill describes this perfectly in his book, Think and Grow Rich, when addressing the positive emotions that influence our thoughts and actions. I will share those here:

“The emotion of DESIRE
The emotion of FAITH
The emotion of LOVE
The emotion of SEX
The emotion of ENTHUSIASM
The emotion of ROMANCE
The emotion of HOPE”

So I ask you, what can you conjure up in your beautiful imagination that will help influence your thoughts? What ideas that blend the power of these positive emotions will inspire you to fight off your inner-critic and the words of those who doubt you?

Once you have those, you can feed these emotions to your subconscious mind through the power of autosuggestion. Most people don’t do this because it takes discipline, mindfulness and rigor. It requires composure, extraordinary emotional intelligence and confidence. Some people are scared of what they might tell themselves. They’re fearful of success or what might happen once they decide to never look back upon doubt, criticism and fear.

https://medium.com/media/b091ceeca097d31161f63d9e4adb3441/href

As Robin Williams’ character tells Matt Damon’s, Good Will Hunting, in the eponymous movie, “You’re terrified of what you might say.” Some of us don’t believe we’re worthy to speak such positive things over our lives. But it’s critical to create this fertile ground in our minds before we take the action required.

Once we have the thought-process, mental preparation and autosuggestion down, we can focus on these five areas:

Defining valuesEstablishing goalsEnvisioning ourselves doing each goal and task in our planDesigning a weekly road map that can be refined, refreshed and modified as need be. This is an iterative, breathing and living plan. It should be reviewed multiple times per dayDoing the work and concentrating all of our energy, effort and attitude into each taskPressure and Criticism — Killer Obstacles

The key differences between criticism and pressure are: criticism from others is external while pressure is internal. Pressure can double-down on us in the form of criticism that we pass from our intuition and thoughts into our subconscious mind.

This is truly the worst type of criticism, because even long after we’ve dodged the verbal daggers and bullets from others, these thoughts sit on our mind in an attempt to mentally and emotionally torture and maim us.

It’s not easy to “Make everyday your masterpiece” when you doubt yourself or when others try to drag you down. Even the most mentally tough people I’ve ever observed, studied and known still hurt sometimes. Words can agitate us, frustrate us and cause anguish.

I draw a very sharp line of demarcation between constructive criticism and words that are meant to pierce us. Mentors, friends and teachers are invaluable resources for providing us with guidance and coaching that betters our process for doing something or enlightens our perspective and approach. Constructive criticism — insofar that it provides value to us — is a gift.

Facing the Critic

In my years of coaching high school basketball, I’ve always been amazed at how teenagers speak to each other. Heck, I still vividly remember many of these conversations or verbal jabs when I was in high school. There’s simply not enough psychology taught in our school system. Because you need to be part-Sigmund Freud if you want to survive some of the things people say to you.

People often speak from their own insecurities and fears. What you hear is often their own interpretation of their experiences. If their experiences have been negative and filled with doubt, they likely will be critical of you. Which is why virtually all educational and help-based literature encourages you to surround yourself with positive, upbeat people who live with enthusiasm, vigor and a believing mindset.

The critic will tear us apart if we let it. We all must face this external messenger or internal voice. Negativity can motivate us, at times, but it can also destroy us. It’s far better to use positive, motivating factors to set your daily and weekly routine for achieving what you desire. The choice is yours to face whatever obstacles threaten to take you down.

I hope you rise to the challenge.

Value Yourself!

My new book on Values is out NOW! Order it here!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

This Is the Biggest Obstacle to Your Success and Happiness was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

An Open Letter of Redemption to my Former Boss

It wasn’t you. It was me. But, look at me now

Dear ___ “Sir”___:

A few years ago, __your company__ and I parted ways in well — shall we say, a less than fulfilling fashion. Everything was amicable. I respect you, you respect me. I just wish I could have delivered more for you. You invested in me, believed in me and gave me a fair shot to succeed. I failed. And while that investment in human capital didn’t pay off for you, it has actually paid off tremendously for me.

It just took time.

What you probably don’t know is that I entered into a confounding time in my journey through life. Far from home and the comforts of family and close friends, I was never expecting to fall flat on my face. I didn’t think it was possible. But boy, did it happen. I hit the pavement hard, then started pounding it. At first I bounced a few times, but then I hit the ground running.

You probably don’t know this, but when I walked out the doors of the building for the final time, I did so with pain and frustration, yet simultaneously, joy in my heart. Despite my anxiety, frustration and guilt, I had this indescribable burning flame of hope inside of me that in the deep recesses of my mind, I truly knew would light the way to victory. Some day.

I knew I wasn’t the right fit, yet I also knew it sucked to fail. It hurt. I started replaying a lot of my past experiences. I relied on my memory to make sense of why I failed, why I didn’t meet the expectations of your prestigious firm. I looked back at my life and I started making sense of what I love, who I love, what I want to do with my life and the journey of where I want to go.

As I replayed so many of the thoughts and memories in my mind, I decided that the foundation of my life was a bit shaky. I thought I felt completely comfortable in my own skin but the truth was that I didn’t. I was living someone else’s life. The luxury car, luxury apartment and perceived notions of success that society had for me were a slow, torturous lie. They weren’t helping.

So I mourned. I mourned the death of what was. This wasn’t just a job. I was out of the career of consulting with Fortune 100 companies. I came to peace with it. I came to peace with the mistakes and the failures. I knew in order to move on I absolutely had to own my failures and be at peace with them. It was one of life’s greatest lessons for me. See, while I have a beautiful wife and son, I truly began to look at things. I turned to my J.K. Rowling and thought of the following:

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” — J.K. Rowling

I learned the remarkable secret to success that you only learn when you truly experience the disappointment of failure — the greatest journeys in life begin from the lowest lows. So I rose to my feet. And I started writing. I began tapping into my inner-strength and asking for God’s grace like I never have before. I began dreaming, visualizing and coming up with more ideas.

I believed. I knew my best was yet to come. I literally rebuilt my life on a foundation of core values that I know will stand the test of time. I started planning and planning and planning. And when some plans got stale, I made new ones. I then put together the five-year plan for my life. Still to this day it’s the most powerful, liberating action I’ve ever undertaken.

I learned that when you put into writing and speak over your life the dreams, goals and intentions you hold dear, they begin to come true. It’s the craziest thing, because not everyone does this, ___former boss____. But I did it. And I know it to be the truth, as much as I know the sun will rise in the east and that my present success is the direct cause of my past failure.

My new book is now available! Order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRV

I wanted to tell you that I just wrote my first book. It’s called The Value of You, and it’s a journey into the powerful core values that shape and define our human experience. This book was written in the aftermath of my departure from ___your company___ and it literally transformed my life. The hope now is that it will transform the lives of those who read it — to help them on their journeys and to launch them to the top of their given professions and pursuits.

I learned about perseverance, hard work, humility, hope and keeping a postiive attitude — perhaps more than I ever had in my life. You see, getting kicked out the door and falling flat on my ass was literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s completely changed my life for the better. Because I had a choice in that moment. To move on or linger behind.

I decided that I’d actually live the words I most believe in:

“In every adversity there comes the opportunity of an equivalent advantage.”

I’m not sure if I’ve made it. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished but I have much bigger dreams. I want to help people transform their lives. I know it all begins with a foundation and a plan. I want to help people realize, visualize and put this into action. It’s the mission of my life.

So, maybe I’ll let others decide if I’ve made it. If making it means that I’ve succeeded, then I guess you can say I have. I subscribe to Coach John Wooden’s definition of success:

“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

While I live with no regret, I still feel this itching sense of a need to apologize to you for not performing at my best. You deserved my best and I couldn’t deliver it. If it’s any small consolation, I’m well on the road to living life on my terms. This is the way I’ve always wanted to live. It’s the way all of us blessed with the privilege of freedom and liberty should live our lives.

How about this — when my book becomes a bestseller, I’d love to come back and speak to your employees at your next big quarterly meeting.

In my dreams I see myself standing there in some beautiful banquet hall with everyone looking at me. I want to show up with gratitude in my heart and a genuine desire to tell my story to your employees. I want to show them that there’s always a reason to believe in ourselves. I want them to be successful and to be bold. I want them to know it’s OK to fail. I want to tell them that mistakes aren’t just acceptable — they’re necessary.

As I begin to speak, I thank all the great people at your company who helped me and continued to help me once I walked out the door that final time. I thank all of those who chose to not extend their hands when I needed it most. Ironically, those are the folks who motivated me most. And after the proverbial and literal mic drop, I want to walk off stage and clink beer bottles with you.

No, not the fancy craft stuff. Just have a cold light beer ready for me.

We’ll say our goodbyes and I’ll be on my way. I hope I’ll have touched the lives of those I knew, those I didn’t, and those who heard my story and now know me. Because after I speak, your employees will know that even when our chips are way down, there’s always a reason to rise up and play another hand. And that life’s greatest successes truly come from the biggest failures.

Thank you for everything. It’s made all the difference.

Sincerely,

Christopher D. Connors

Value Yourself!

My new book on Values is out NOW! Order it here!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

An Open Letter of Redemption to my Former Boss was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

You Design Your Journey— Not Your Job

Jobs are a means to an end for far too many people. I know this because for the lion’s share of my life, I have been one of them. When I think of people that I know personally or those that I have worked with, I realize they feel the same way. They might love the values or core principles their company stands for, but they don’t love their job. Because they’re not doing what they love most.

Jobs are what put money in our pockets, which enable us to have families, travel the country and world, buy a house and watch Golden Girls re-runs on cable television after the kid is in bed. All right, maybe that last one is just me. But think about this: If you could have all of the fruits of safety, security and food to eat, would you still work in your current job?

Or would you do the activity, hobby or life’s work that you love? Don’t worry, that’s a rhetorical question. I think we both know the answer.

“Reach for the stars” and “Follow your dreams” may sound like idyllic gobbledygook when we’re young. However, those who tell us this age-old advice (cliché for sure) do so for a reason. They want to see us happy and it’s apparent to them — whether they’ve lived this dream or not — that a key component of happiness is doing work that inspires you.

My new book is out November 8th. Pre-order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRV

How the Cycle Begins

Our jobs define our lives in so many ways and yet many of us don’t give too much thought to exactly what we’ll become when we’re younger. Depending on where you go to school and what you learn, there’s a good shot that you may not be well positioned to produce valuable work in your late teens or even your early-mid 20s. Much of our secondary schooling and university structure was not build for utilitarian purposes. Sad but true.

We’re taught about particular subjects in college, sometimes, things that will have no bearing on how we attempt to earn money. At best case, we hope that these things will satisfy our intellectual curiosity.

This is not to say that colleges, high schools or technical schools don’t ever position people for success after graduation. They do. I’m simply saying, it’s a flawed system. Part of it is just how life goes. We don’t always know what we want when we’re 20. Worst case, we’re taking courses simply to get a degree.A degree that may not hold as much value, as we never plan to use that knowledge ever again.

Once we graduate, we realize how much jobs become the measuring stick for how we see ourselves but, overwhelmingly how others see us. Jobs can become our identity, what we attract and what gives us our status in society.In the U.S., the bastion of capitalism, people become consumed with earning money. Our perception of what we need to earn may go far beyond providing for our necessities and even some luxuries.

Capitalism breeds competition, which is a terrific thing, but we need to be mindful that the competition to make the most money is a race better left sitting out. We’re wise to concentrate our energies elsewhere, like finding the activities that elicit powerful, uplifting emotions. We’re smart if we work hard on developing the skills required to become paid professionals or highly-competent hobbyists in these enterprises.

Character, Perception and Reality

We are known more for the work we produce — and what we do — than our true character to the vast majority of people. Now, you don’t need to get me started on how the most important worldly relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. I am the biggest proponent of this and I shout it from the rooftops. Not literally, but figuratively. I mostly write about it here.

Yet, there’s no denying that others cannot possibly see all of our character; the inner core of what makes us who we are. Others cannot see how we treat those closest to us at all times. They do not have special view into our relationship with God or the relationship we have with ourselves. They’ll never know what we think and do when no one is looking.

The saying, “perception is reality,” is wondrous because it literally can be both right and wrong . So true and simultaneously so false. It is often true in howothers think of us and usually untrue in how we view ourselves. We may know in our hearts what we truly are- what we yearn for, what lights the fire inside of us and what we want most out of life.

But sometimes, even those closest to us and, particularly those who only know us in work or social settings, most certainly do not. They see who we are in public, they observe our idiosyncrasies, the veneer and outward portrayal that we share with others. I’m not suggesting that this outward portrayal is phony.

It’s just simply a fact that we behave a particular way in certain environments, lest others seek committing us to an insane asylum.

I write this because if someone saw my house at about 7 o’clock in the evening, they may think so. This is right after my 3 year-old eats, then runs roughshod through every room in our house, playing with me, his papa bear (he the baby bear), rummaging, barreling and knocking everything over.

Hierarchy of NeedsMaslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

In Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” chart, the physiological and safety needs form the base of the pyramid. Survival. Without these things, we wouldn’t exist. And yet the longer I’ve lived, the more I’ve come to believe that we don’t truly live unless we reach the zenith of the pyramid, the self-actualization of creativity.

I believe a major reason why we’re here- not the biggest reason- is to get in touch with our creative sides and inspire others by the work- the art and magic we produce.

We who have been given this remarkable opportunity of being afforded safety, security and sustenance, must will ourselves to strive for the peak of this pyramid. Even when we create physical work, the idea to do so is first conceived in our minds. Then, it’s how we analyze, imagine and will the object of our desire into being. This is what gives it life. Believe it into being.

Dream Big, Do You

I often talk about how I want to be a bestselling author, something I’m hopefully on the path to someday achieving, as my first book just came out! I have spent a great deal of time in my life planning out what I love to do most. This is the work that I hope will define and bring joy and fulfillment to my life.

“Whatever the mind of man (or woman) can conceive and believe, he/she can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill

Each day is one step closer to converting these hobbies and activities into a job and work that will produce financial, emotional and spiritual gain. These things, I believe, will bring true satisfaction as only I, the architect of these plans, can design.

Yet, my plans don’t mean as much to me as the relationships that I have with the ones I love. The true me is someone who loves God, his family and friends more than anything in this whole world. I want to be surrounded by love.

That’s not simply a moment of reckoning for me now; it’s the way I’ve felt both consciously and subconsciously, for all of my life. I was given the gift of a loving family, one who believed in me and cared for me. This matters immensely more than my dreams.

I think it is possible for ordinary people to choose to be extraordinary. — Elon Musk

And yet I know, deep-down, that I won’t become the person I want to become unless I am producing the work that I believe I was put on this Earth to create.I darn well know that the jobs I have worked in over the course of my career have not given me that realization of personal development and self-actualization I desire. Maybe you feel the same.

I dedicate several hours of each day, on occasion working to the point of exhaustion, in order to cultivate and deliver the writing, coaching and content that will change the lives of my readers and clients — and my own. I’ve written extensively about how success, at least for me, is best defined by the words of legendary basketball coach, John Wooden:

“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

I write frequently about this definition because I feel it always bears repeating. I read this every, single day. Success is peace of mind, the realization that you have done your absolute best with the talents you’ve been given. And yet, it’s simply impossible to feel that we’re not being judged, defined and ultimately valued by others — for what we produce — through the lens of how they see us.

How Will You Leave Your Mark on the World?

We’re often known simply by the company or organization that we work for. That’s great for some people but the majority of people that I know would much prefer to be known for their own personal brand. For you, that could be wanting others to know the mother or father that you are; the son or daughter. Maybe you want your calling card to be your sense of humor, generosity or the work you’ve created with your hands.

I was talking with a colleague the other day about someone we mutually knew, though he less than I. He said, “Oh yeah, Kristin, from Accenture, right? It was an easy descriptor but nevertheless, that’s simply how Kristin may be known to everyone! Kristin from that company. Good or bad, for better or for worse.

We become known by the company or the work we perform. That job may simply be a means to an end, an occupation that may not even come close to defining who we are or how we want people to know and remember us.

A job is only a job for so many people. It’s ultimately survival. We may have a burning desire to survive and, that carrot in front of us does help us get up out of bed when we’re way too tired. Because the baby was crying at 3:30 and we needed to make sure she was OK. Because we wouldn’t stop writing at 12:30 at night because we had achieved literary nirvana- a golden rush of new ideas.

I’ve simply come to believe through my own experience and the observation of so many others, that survival, as crazy as this may seem, is not enough.There has to be more. We hunger for something greater than just supporting ourselves. We’re lucky and blessed to have the gifts we have but when we’re honest with ourselves, that’s simply not enough.

We aspire to a higher level of human achievement. The power to create and become who we want is in our minds and in our hands. We design our journey and the life we are called to live.

Value Yourself!

My book on Values is out NOW!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

You Design Your Journey— Not Your Job was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The Value of You — Start Your Journey

Where are you going? Where have you been? What are you doing about it NOW? I ask you these questions because I find that in order to know how to live the life of our dreams, we need to make peace with where we’ve been, and we need to understand how to take action. While everything begins with a thought, we need a plan. And we must be willing to act!

https://medium.com/media/1b871f3f1c7c6ea0cde3371b2c51cb1d/href

I’m excited to share with you my new book, The Value of You, which is a guide for living a bold, fulfilling life through the power of core values. I wrote this book with you the reader in mind — because I found that my experience is shared by so many. I was moving through life aimlessly, without direction, and I was doing so without passion. I desperately needed to get back my enthusiasm.

I was doing way too many things that were mundane. I found that a lot of other people I knew were on the same path. You see, after high school and college, when we don’t know what we want, we kind of start following a plan that isn’t really in our best interest. In the process, we forfeit our right to live life on our terms, because we lack direction — we lack a a game plan to get us to where we want to be.

While all of us will go through soul-searching, the sooner we can start asking ourselves the deep, philosophical questions about what we truly want in life, the sooner we can start living a life on our terms — a life that energizes and excites us each day. There’s always hope and it’s NEVER too late to live this life. I truly believe it begins with core values.

Your Foundation

Values are to our foundation as our core (abdomen) is to our physical movement. The more we exercise and build up our core, the more dexterous we become for forward motion and direction.

In a similar way, our values become our core, the launching pad for the way we progress and behave in social interactions, and on our own, when only we know the truth. Our values are the eternal spring we can turn to for life-giving purpose, re-assessment, evaluation, encouragement, structure and renewal.

Values, when chosen properly, are of immeasurable meaning to your life and all of whom you encounter. They form the backbone for a constantly self-improving mindset which will only sharpen with time, of course when you put your wisely chosen values into practice. Values impact our thoughts, which influence our words and actions.

Values serve as the driving force behind the decisions we make and relationships we aim to build!

As I’ve found in my own personal journey, when you build the foundation of your life on time-tested core values, you gain greater direction and a firm purpose for living life on your terms. But don’t just take my word for it. Look around at successful people throughout history.

You’ll find the common thread is that great athletes like LeBron James or singers like Beyonce thought deeply and passionately about the values that mean the most to them.

Values like faith, hard work, courage, confidence and perseverance have come to define the lives of these two superstars. The same can be said for that successful friend or mentor that you admire. They probably didn’t get to where they are purely by chance. They likely kept an open mind, prioritized a disciplined life over one of frivolous pursuits. And it’s likely made all the difference.

The Details

Without further ado, I want to share some details about my upcoming book on Values which was just released. First, here are the links for the e-book: http://amzn.to/2gPBvEz. And paperback: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRV.

When: November 8th!!! Please be sure to follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Linked in for updates.

Where: For purchase on Amazon. See links above.

What: The book will profile and share inspirational, practical wisdom on how to integrate values into your life to lead you on the journey to your successful, future destiny. Each chapter can be read individually and picked up at any time. I share some personal stories, as well as many inspirational stories and easy-to-implement steps on how to live a bolder, more fulfilling life!

May your journey be filled with adversity, challenges and mistakes. Because it is through these trials that you will truly triumph! You’ll learn what it takes to succeed and live a loving, bold, joyful life that gives meaning and hope to others. That is the greatest gift of all. Thank you for your interest in my journey. I’m excited to learn about yours!

Value Yourself!

My upcoming book on Values is due out November 8th! Pre-order it now!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

The Value of You — Start Your Journey was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Thank you for pointing out the error, Teru!

Thank you for pointing out the error, Teru! I appreciate you reading and for the kind words! The Epstein story is amazing!

You’re Ready — You Just Need to Believe It

My beautiful wife.

In late November of 2002, one of the wealthiest sports teams in the world made a monumental decision. After far too many decades of coming up short — punctuated by dramatic failures in huge moments — it was time to shake things up. Youth would be served in Boston and, the sports world would take notice; and change forever.

When Theo Epstein was hired as general manager of the Boston Red Sox at age 28, he became the youngest general manager in Major League Baseball history. There were skeptics aplenty. It seemed unfathomable that a team of the Red Sox worth and clout would hire someone so young — despite his intelligence and clear qualifications — to lead their baseball operations.

The Boston Red Sox opening day payroll for the 2003 season was nearly $100M. The following year, it became $125M. The team, if the owner then or now would ever be crazy enough to sell it, is worth over $2.3B dollars. Why in the world would a team entrust a product of that much value to someone under the age of 30? Because he was ready.

Theo Epstein, now GM of the Chicago Cubs

During his college summers, Epstein grinded as a public relations intern for the Baltimore Orioles. Following graduation, he went to work for the San Diego Padres. After years of hard work and a “fire hose” education in baseball operations, Epstein later became the Director of Baseball Operations for the Padres.

He steeled in his mind that he would work in baseball and make a nice living doing so. He believed in himself and was willing to work long hours, learn the craft, understand what made players great and find ways to put his beliefs into practice.

Before the opportunity came with Boston, he learned negotiating tactics, advanced sports analytics and practiced his persuasive influencing on then-general manager of the Padres, Kevin Towers.

Even after all of that hard work and long hours, it was remarkable that Epstein was offered the opportunity to call the shots for the Red Sox at such a young age. He probably had to have some level of human doubt as to whether he was ready. This is supposed to be an older man or woman’s job, right? Many suspected he’d have to wait longer for his time to come.

When you’re ready, you’re ready. And Epstein was. Less than two years after becoming GM, the Red Sox were champions of the world for the first time in 86 years. And just last season, Epstein called the operational shots for the Cubs and led them to the promised land for the first time in over 100 years.

My new book is out November 8th. Pre-order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRVFamily Matters

I spoke with my wife dozens of times over several years about our perception of readiness and, the perceptions of those who judge us or deem us worthy for a particular job. For years she was a highly-successful Development Director in the nonprofit world.

She told me that decision-makers in that industry perhaps wouldn’t think she would be ready to lead an organization as Executive Director. While she had worked for some small-mid size nonprofits, she said the conventional wisdom said an organization wouldn’t entrust her with that power. It would likely be someone with more experience.

To which I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

My wife is highly accomplished, emotionally intelligent, well-educated and savvy enough to negotiate and make “the ask” to very wealthy donors who provide funding — the lifeblood — for nonprofits. She’s skilled at decision-making and adept at understanding process.

She was ready. And I knew it.

Earlier this year, a great organization in the Charleston, SC area recognized this and offered her an Executive Direction opportunity. Her time and her moment to call the shots. It was a special accomplishment and one earned through hard work, sacrifice and apprenticeship. She deserved it. She was ready and I knew it. She got to experience the joy. Finally.

Opportunities are born from experience, hard work, positive attitude and demonstrated results. Opportunities are earned through grit, intelligence, pluck and desire. Opportunities lead to moments.

Your moment could be three hours long, one day or one weekend. It may be 15 minutes or one minute of your life. There, you will be in position to tell a person or group of influencers — with clear eyes and certain conviction in your heart — that you can do the job. You’re ready.

A Dream

By 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. was already well on his way to establishing a name for himself as a nonviolent, peaceful warrior in the quest to end segregation and achieve civil rights for African-Americans. The books he wrote, speeches he delivered, alliances he formed and peaceful demonstrations he organized all led up to one of the greatest moments in history.

He delivered his famous, “I Have a Dream” speech at the age of 34 before thousands of Americans during the March on Washington. He called for an end to racism and equality for all. He was ready. The thing is, no one could have imagined the the magnitude of that moment with the exception, of course, of one individual: Martin Luther King Jr.

He seized the moment because he was ready. He was born for that moment.

To paraphrase the gospel writer, Luke, when someone is entrusted with much, even more will be expected and required in the form of service.

Opportunity

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” — Seneca

I wrote recently about luck and probability and discussed how we create our own luck. A positive mind attracts opportunity. This is not easy to grasp and it’s harder to follow. Yet, it’s true. I wonder each day when a great opportunity will come my way. Yet I take for granted the great opportunities I already have right now in my life.

I write for this awesome publication, The Mission. I have a very supportive wife who above everything else wants to see me happy and fulfilled. My wife and I were given a beautiful child who brings so much love and joy to our lives each day. I was blessed with the most loving family by birth. I was fortunate to attend two great schools for my Bachelor’s and Masters’s degrees.

(God also made me a New York Yankees fan. A wonderful thing!)

I think now of my wife and the fact that people recognize that she is worthy of great power and responsibility. I look to friends and contemporaries of mine in writing and business. I know they’re ready for great challenges. I hear it in their words and see it on their faces.

A baseball team worth over a billion dollars, with a payroll of over $100M, was put in the hands of a 28 year-old named, Theo Epstein. The Red Sox owners were rewarded with a World Series title in 2004 and several thereafter. The Chicago Cubs in 2016, after a World Series championship drought of over 100 years, also reaped the benefits of Mr. Epstein’s magic.

The civil rights movement was not the lone work of Martin Luther King Jr. but he was elevated by his peers to become the face of it at a relatively young age. He was ready. Others knew it. He proved that the faith placed in him, by the most influential African Americans of the time, was justified through his inspiring message and nonviolent actions.

When you wonder whether you — a confident young man or woman with intelligence, wit, work ethic and a positive attitude — can launch your path to achievement, remind yourself of these stories. Think about it.

Experience helps, surely. Opportunity is golden. But opportunity will come. You just have to remain positive and open. Readiness is in the mind of the individual. The great Coach John Wooden once said, “Perform at your best when your best is required. Your best is required each day.”

You’re ready to do your thing. You just gotta believe.

Value Yourself!

My upcoming book on Values is due out November 8th! Pre-order it now!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

You’re Ready — You Just Need to Believe It was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This is the Way to Build the Foundation of Your New Life

What will it take you to make a dramatic change in your life? Will it be an event — a person who affects you in such way that you’ll never be the same? Or will you get there through lessons learned, mistakes, adversity and challenges that slowly help your refine your approach? Whether you’re just starting out or a seasoned professional, I encourage you to think deeper about what you want the structure for your life to be.

Maybe a better question to ask is, what is it right now? Seriously — how areou making decisions, building relationships and identifying new opportunities? Are you flying by the seat of your pants or do you have some kind of plan? Luck can only get you so far. Eventually, you have to formulate a strategy and you need to think about why you’re doing, what you’re doing.

As I’ve found in my own personal journey, when you build the foundation of your life on time-tested core values, you gain greater direction and a firm purpose for living life on your terms. But don’t just take my word for it. Look around at successful people throughout history. You’ll find the common thread is that great athletes like LeBron James or singers like Beyonce thought deeply and passionately about the values that mean the most to them.

Values like faith, hard work, courage, confidence and perseverance have come to define the lives of these two superstars. The same can be said for that successful friend or mentor that you admire. They probably didn’t get to where they are purely by chance. They likely kept an open mind, prioritized a disciplined life over one of frivolous pursuits. And it’s likely made all the difference.

My new book is out November 8th. Pre-order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRVYour Foundation

Values are to our foundation as our core (abdomen) is to our physical movement. The more we exercise and build up our core, the more dexterous we become for forward motion and direction. In a similar way, our values become our core, the launching pad for the way we progress and behave in social interactions, and on our own, when only we know the truth.

Our values are the eternal spring we can turn to for life-giving purpose, re-assessment, evaluation, encouragement, structure and renewal. Values, when chosen properly, are of immeasurable meaning to your life and all of whom you encounter. They form the backbone for a constantly self-improving mindset which will only sharpen with time, of course when you put your wisely chosen values into practice.

Values impact our thoughts, which influence our words and actions. Values serve as the driving force behind the decisions we make and relationships we aim to build! Think about any accomplishment of feeling of self-satisfaction that you’ve experienced. What were the key ingredients that laid the foundation for that to happen?

I’m now the proud author of a successful book on values and I believe in the cause so much, I continue to talk about the need for living by values. I used to just jump into things without a whole lot of thought or reason. It always led to frustration. Trust me — the path to mediocrity is trodden by those who never had a plan. The way to start your plan is with core values.

Follow the Examples of Those Who Came Before

You come to find that when you study the lives of great people throughout history like Martin Luther King Jr. and Abraham Lincoln, to modern-day successes like J.K. Rowling and Serena Williams, there are common threads. Values like hard work, honesty, hope, integrity and respect are all sewn into the fabric of the lives of these people of incredible achievement.

Values will be there as the foundation of your life when everything around you continues to change. Here’s the trouble with values in the abstract — it’s not a sexy topic! We live in a fast-paced, hyper-consumption world of all kinds of digital content like social media, video and audio. So much of the content that exists today is meant to occupy our attention span by draining us on mindless things.

E-games. Reality television. Drama. Comedy that puts someone else down. These are time-wasters that give us a terrible perception of what is necessary to get ahead in the world and live life on our terms.

The way to live life on your terms is to start with rock-solid foundation of core values. From there, you can put together a personal game plan that allows you to live the life you want. There are few shortcuts in life. If you want to succeed and be happy enough, you’ll find the way. The way to begin is to start with core values.

Value Yourself!

My upcoming book on Values is due out November 8th! Pre-order it now!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

This is the Way to Build the Foundation of Your New Life was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.