Christopher D. Connors's Blog, page 59

Hi Henry- you bring up a great philosophical point.

Hi Henry- you bring up a great philosophical point. I agree with you. One of my favorite quotes in life is: “We all journey toward an end, but it is the journey that matters in the end.” I think that’s tangentially related to the discussion here. I think it’s important to have goals, but they’re by no means the be-all end-all. It is the process and it’s the plan that you put together. But you have to have goals. That’s the path that’s worked for me and it’s what I’ve observed in the lives of successful people I’ve interviewed and studied. Really appreciate the comment!

Thanks for sharing this, Ana!

Thanks for sharing this, Ana! I’m so glad I could help and it means a lot to see this. Keep going and good luck!

Thanks so much, Clyff!!

Thanks so much, Clyff!!

5 Ways to Stop “Just Getting By” and Start Building Your Game Plan

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” — Anatole France

When I travel around the country and meet people from every walk of life, I tend to find one common theme: so many people are living day-to-day with their hopes and dreams. Forget paychecks, financial status or job title. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the stark reality that most people simply don’t have any kind of game plan. And it’s costing them a lifetime of happiness.

Think about it — whatever you’re doing right now, do you really have a plan or series of goals you’re hoping to achieve? If you’re reading this and thinking, No, then you have forfeited the right to blame anyone around you. Society, your family, “the man”, your employer and your competitors are not holding you down. You must look in the mirror and determine what you’re willing to do.

When you don’t have a plan, or some kind of series of goals, it’s extraordinarily difficult to find success — and nearly impossible to find sustained success. I’ve seen so many people who are brilliant, bold and far more intelligent than I am fall short because they just couldn’t sustain enthusiasm or because they just “didn’t want it.”

They never made peace with their past and they didn’t have a set of values and principles that were individually tailored toward their plan in life. In an effort to help you find your way — no matter where you are on your journey — I want to share with you the five ways I believe you will find happiness and success, no matter your position in life. Good luck!

https://medium.com/media/d11e79cd0465e89b08e665406a115c78/href1. Start thinking creatively about the things that bring you enthusiasm and light the fire inside of you

I’m a true believer that everything begins with a thought — an idea — that becomes the launching pad for any dream. We have thousands of thoughts and ideas that come into our mind throughout the day. For goodness sake, you were given a beautiful, intelligent mind. Start writing these ideas down on a piece of paper.

Actually, it’s almost 2018! Use your iPhone and voice record a note to yourself. Send yourself a text message. User Evernote or One Note. But the key point here is — latch on and commit to memory the powerful, bold ideas that are representative of who you are. Think passionately about what excites you and lights the fire inside of you.

As I write about in my new book, The Value of You, this is called fire! Great athletes like Michael Jordan have used this incredible enthusiasm to power their careers, using it as a source of motivation, inspiration and energized thought. You can do the same thing. It’s not just accessible to a few. We all have this power.

2. Use your memory to accept and make sense of your past experiences

We’ve all failed. We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all been wounded in relationships. Every one of us has painful memories and experiences that have left scars on our souls. And we often don’t like to look back at these times, so we ignore them. We don’t quite move forward — we just freeze them in time and try to avoid them. But that NEVER works.

One of the great life lessons is to make sense of your past experiences, extract all that you can learn from them, place those lessons into use in your life and begin building your new future. You must make peace with disappointments and failures. It will be the best thing you ever do if you have the courage and confidence to act. You’ll recognize that life’s greatest successes come from life’s greatest failures.

“A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power.” — Brian Tracy

3. Build your life on a foundation of core values

You probably know from reading my writing that I’m an enormous proponent of building your life on a foundation of core values. I believe in this as much as anything in this world — so much so, that I chose to write a book about it. The reason why is because values like confidence, love, faith, perseverance, humility and gratitude stand the test of time.

They don’t discriminate on age, gender, financial status, religion, skin color or where you’re from. Values can be practiced by anyone. Make an everyday commitment to living a life of values. It will color your human experience, shaping the way you think, challenging your assumptions and encouraging you onward in the face of negativity and adversity.

4. Enter into the “Thought Life Cycle”

Thought → Desire → Belief → Plan → Action

It really is this simple. Start with your thoughts. Shut out the negative, doubting, fearful voices and begin to amplify your inner voice of enthusiasm, joy and determination. Start building a desire and back it with faith. The power of faith is the belief in yourself, belief in others and a belief in a power perhaps much larger than yourself.

The next part is for #5.

“The path to mediocrity is trodden by those who never had a plan.” — Christopher D. Connors

5. Build Your Game Plan

I’m a major proponent of putting together a five-year plan for your life. I’ve heard this wisdom from Fortune 500 executives, CEOs, retired millionaires and respected friends. I’ve heard it so often and from so many people I admire, that it’s become one of most important messages I deliver.

When recently speaking to a group of MBA students at a local university, I implored the group to begin building a five-year plan. I told them to start by the week or even the month, but also to have a plan for the next year. It’s enabled me to write the book I just did and to work with executives across the country. I’ve managed a full-time job, writing career, growing family and speaking career because of my plan.

There’s an absolutely astonishing power that takes hold in your life when you speak and write your dreams over your life. You simply have to be willing to do it. It honestly is that simple. Because any plan is only worth the self-sacrifice and commitment to action that you’re willing to make. The best plans in the world are nothing if you’re not willing to act.

And know this — you will need to adjust your plan. You must keep going and make changes as life changes all around you. That’s the secret of change and the secret of life. You truly can achieve the dreams you want if you’re willing to plan and act on them. But you have to adjust because you will change, the world will change and so will the people around you.

No one ever starts out by “just wanting to get by.” But the sad part is that so many people end up living this way because they’re unwilling to do the simple, yet necessary personal development work of building themselves up. I hope you’re that person that is willing to give this a shot. It will change your life and help to you to reach the dreams you’ve always hoped would come true.

Value Yourself!

The Value of You e-book is available for a limited time for just .99 cents! Order the e-book HERE!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

5 Ways to Stop “Just Getting By” and Start Building Your Game Plan was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Thank you!!!

Thank you!!!

Gratitude- The Bold Value of Thankfulness

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse. — Henry Van Dyke

A few days ago, I met my former manager for an ice cold beer at a local bar. Just for a fleeting moment or two, we talked about this being the week of Thanksgiving. In business — and in academia — this is always a week where very little is accomplished. Teachers, businesswomen and men and students alike are in “cruise control.” Everyone is psyched to have a few days off.

My former manager said that he wasn’t as much looking forward to celebrating the holiday, Thanksgiving, or even necessarily being in with family. It was more about the few days off that he would savor. And truth be told, I think most people feel that way. Given the current climate in the U.S., the feeling of division, or struggles within many of our lives, we simply need a break.

And that’s fine.

I’m simply offering something to consider as we approach Thanksgiving and as this year begins to draw to a close: It’s beneficial for your spiritual, emotional, physical and mental well-being to take the time to realize all the good things that you have in your life. All that you can be thankful for and grateful that you do not live without.

In essence, this is what I believe this time of year is really all about.

Expressing Gratitude

We lose a lot of energy and we end up hurting ourselves by living and brooding in negative emotions. It’s simply not an easy way to live. There are a bevy of scientific studies which have proven that happy people live healthier lives. I believe that gratitude leads to happiness.

Dr. Melanie Greenberg writes,

“Feeling and expressing gratitude turns our mental focus to the positive, which compensates for our brains’ natural tendency to focus on threats, worries, and negative aspects of life. As such, gratitude creates positive emotions like joy, love, and contentment which research shows can undo the grip of negative emotions like anxiety. Fostering gratitude can also broaden your thinking, and create positive cycles of thinking and behaving in healthy, positive ways.”

Think about how much time you spend on the phone or in-person talking about little nagging, trivial and insignificant things? We all complain a lot. I know I do. Why not be more grateful when with the people we truly love? Our aim should be to eliminate all outward anxiety and show our inner emotions of love, happiness and enjoyment of company.

When we’re with the people we care about most — or on our own, focusing on our lives — we should always be mindful of how precious life’s moments are.Rich or poor, during moments of distress or joy, we have a lot to be thankful for.

When something good happens in your life, be thankful, but also be grateful that you get to live each day with purpose and the opportunity to create your own destiny. It’s easyto turn negative or blame people for our plight, when things don’t go our way. Then, we’re not in a very thankful mood for all of the good things that we and others have.

Because we cannot make sense of things, we turn to doubt, which is never helpful. These are precisely the moments that we need to turn the negative into positive and express thanksgiving, not rejection. We can do this during grief, unrest, sadness and all of the terrible and unfortunate things that can occur in this life.

https://medium.com/media/2aabb3982e5f75502c5db09606cbeb22/hrefOur Needs

Many of us take for granted the roofs over our heads, which provide us shelter and enable us not to starve or freeze to death. We are endowed with a heart and mind that seek to love and are able to be loved by others! Dwell and meditate on how beautiful and special that gift is the next time you grow angry and feel the need to blame the world around you.

In this world, we’re able to express who we are and we have the freedom to pursue dreams. This is not to suggest we intentionally live with a “things can always be worse mindset” but instead a grateful heart for what God has given us.

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

I‘m willing to bet there’s a good chance that you have more needs in your life — which are met — than you may think. I urge anyone to live with an abundance mindset, though the negative that can come from that is thinking that luxuries or non-essential “good-to-have’s” are actual needs. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which focuses on physiological and safety concerns first, illuminates us as to what true needs really are.

If you’re fortunate enough to have access to a mobile phone or laptop computer, chances are, your most basic needs are met. You may in fact be blessed enough to come from a loving family and/or have a partner who cherishes you and adds value to your life. This gives you a greater sense of self-worth in who you are.

“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out, and the tide of love rushes in.” — Kristin Armstrong

That’s a tremendous amount to be grateful for. It’s worth thinking about.

If we want reward that comes from happiness, peace of mind and self-satisfaction, we have to give and say thank you. Gratitude is a form of humility and kindness, which is a language received with open hearts by anyone of an understanding nature. Showing thanks is acknowledging good in the part of another human being, paying a compliment and a nod to someone else’s attitude and effort.

You will always win and further yourself when you thank those who lift up your spirit. It’s a necessity for the person who seeks to find greater harmony with God and others. But don’t just do it for others. Do it for yourself. You’ll live a happier life. And when you have time to reflect your current lot in life, you’ll understand the power of being thankful for what you have. Happy Thanksgiving!

Value Yourself!

The Value of You is now available and one of the top e-books on Amazon! Order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRV

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Gratitude- The Bold Value of Thankfulness was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Your Time is Limited — So Dig Deep and Find The Way

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

It’s easy to get down. It’s easy to feel small. It’s easy to feel like your goal or your success is so far away when you haven’t yet completed “your masterpiece” or lived out the big plans you have for yourself. The path of least resistance is ALWAYS easy. It’s when the going gets tough, when your day is so busy with work, family obligations, personal ambitions and B.S., that the picture somehow — some crazy way — gets clearer.

Maybe you know what I mean.

What I’m talking about is this: Let’s face it, you have a super busy life. Heck, you might be reading this article on the subway, bus, at the intersection during your morning commute (just don’t spill your coffee!) or on your way to the restroom in between meetings. You have tons of responsibilities. You’re fighting for ways to sift through the things that don’t matter — but still reign supreme on your daily calendar — to get to what you actually care about.

And despite your efforts, you still wonder if it’s worth it.

I can proudly tell you that it IS worth it, in case you care to know. I just published my first book and it’s having a ton of success on Amazon. In two months, my wife and I are going to welcome our second child into the world. My day job is a nonstop, unbelievably busy adventure. I‘m working with my publicist to market, advertise, book speaking engagements and attend conferences.

And in between, I write and try my darnedest to be the best dad, husband and friend I can be. It’s working. Somehow, someway, it’s working.

https://medium.com/media/d11e79cd0465e89b08e665406a115c78/href

Several years ago, once I decided to reinvent myself and commit to living the life I’ve always wanted to live, I promised myself that I’d never give up when the going got tough. I made a commitment to sticking to my values, planning for the long, mid and short-term and finding a way even when I got tired, even when I’m anxious and even when I feel lazy.

I started to realize that the surest way to become successful is by starting to fight for time like never before. God, I know Steve Jobs and his many quotations are used everywhere — and maybe you’re sick of seeing them — but I believe the power of his words can change your life. When he said that time is our most precious commodity, it was a total game changer for me.

If you take nothing else from this article, know this: I’m just trying to add on to the words of a brilliant man: WHEN your time is limited, you manage to find the way to succeed and burst to the top of your chosen endeavor IF you have a burning desire and will to fight for your time and make it happen.

You start with your idea, back it with an incredible desire and passion, believe in it, put it into plan and then commit to action. Success and reaching goals is truly not that complicated. Now that my first book is making the rounds and experiencing success, I’ve had people say to me, “How did you do it? That’s remarkable!”

And it feels great. I’m not gonna lie.

But I can tell you — I don’t feel like the process was honestly that complicated. I’m not saying it was easy, but once it was meticulously planned out, once I mustered up the desire over days, months and years of my life to continue wanting it, then believing in myself and never accepting rejection, it just wasn’t that difficult.

There’s absolutely nothing too difficult for the power of the human mind. Study the lives of successful titans like Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, LeBron James and Beyonce Knowles. If you fixate on their end goals while trying to visualize and imagine your own success, you miss the point. Those superstars started winning the day they committed to a plan of unrelenting hope, persistence and belief in themselves.

That indestructible force began overpowering their minds and turbocharging their dreams. It has carried them throughout their lives — through unbelievably time-crunched schedules, obligations and events.

Think of the people you respect most that you’ve gotten the opportunity to know. I bet those people fight for their time. They rely on values and principles that enable them to worry less, plan more and execute with clear minds and tons of self-control.

The most challenging part is not your lack of time. Even with a family, day job, personal responsibilities, and your ambition to live the life you want on your terms, you will find way. You’ll need to cut out distractions, probably some reality TV and certainly all the excuses in your vocabulary. A busy schedule is not your worst enemy. It’s your best friend, once you commit to living the life you’ve always envisioned in your dreams.

Value Yourself!

My new book is now available! Order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRV

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Your Time is Limited — So Dig Deep and Find The Way was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Finish the Job: Close Out Your Year With Confidence

In six weeks, we’ll be deluged with New Year’s resolutions, “Get back to the gym!” provocations and countless stories of encouragement of how to start out our year “on the right foot.” As if starting out on the left foot was such a bad thing. Poor attempt at humor, I know! Usually at this time of year, we’re just about ready for new beginnings. But in order to start anew, we need to finish the job and close out what we’ve already started.

Whatever you’re working on, you’ve assigned a particular value to that use of your time. Likely, for good reason. You may have begun taking courses for your nursing degree. Perhaps you’ve just started writing here on Medium. You could be studying for a certification exam, developing a new app or learning a new language. Here’s my advice: make that your obsession. Adopt a “closer’s mindset.”

You may be entering the “ninth inning” of your journey on a particular project or goal. How are you going to finish?

“I am convinced that being fully committed to the moment, without any worries about the past or projections into the future, is the best attribute a closer can have. It takes a ton of concentration, and self-belief, to stay in the moment…and not let the highs and lows mess with your psyche.” — New York Yankees pitching great, Mariano Rivera

Identifying Paths and Examining Decisions

There were roads you could have turned down in 2016 but you chose the thoroughfares, boulevards and streets that you did. Be confident in that and make sense of the “Why” behind the direction you took. Now, you need to come to terms with whether you should finish the drill or change direction.

Too often, we become obsessed with feeling like each decision that we make is final. That there is no turning back! In instances of choosing whether to flee a homeland — huge decisions prompted by the diaspora facing Syrian refugees, for example — or springing into action to save someone else, that may be the case. Those are decisions and choices dictated by extremely challenging external forces.

As it pertains to most of our personal decisions, we can always turn back. We can start over and change course. So much of my 2017 has been defined by completing my first book, The Value of You. Fortunately, despite a heavy workload, I was able to complete this milestone. It was an exhilarating feeling.

I got there by committing to a game plan and sticking to it. Each month and each week I put together goals and a plan to help me achieve. Long ago, I promised myself I would never, ever give up and that I’d continue to fan the flames of desire to propel myself toward the finish line. From there, I believed fervently in what I was doing and kept my eyes on the prize.

Then, it was all about the action. That meant writing, editing, focusing on design, initiating relationships and committing to the process. It wasn’t easy but I knew it was possible and now I’m living my dream!

I know from experience that once something awesome is within our grasp, there will be that “devil on our shoulder” that tries to distract us and convinceus we’re not capable or worthy. The same application of faith that helped you begin your endeavor is now equally as important to help you finish things off.

Make sense of the paths you’ve chosen, the activities and projects you’ve started. What did you learn? Is there work yet to be done? What’s your plan to get to the finish line — the fulfillment of achieving your goal?

And as We Wind on Down the Road

Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there’s still time to change the road you’re on.” — Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven

Closing out our business requires discipline and fortitude. The way we achieve results is through planning, smart ideas, faith, sheer force of will, desire andskillful application of our talents. The list can go on, but those are strongfundamentals to begin. Add to that a persistent, dedicated mindset and you’re continuing to develop greater confidence to see things through to completion.

As you progress throughout life, you’ll be less likely to give up or stop what you’re doing when you’ve built a strong foundation. You’ll have built up a resistance to taking the easy way out. Closing out what you’ve started is difficult. Make no mistake — anything worth working toward is not easy.

Responsibilities come up, family obligations, our own mental blocks, physicalailments, social anxiety. These are all real matters that we need a game plan to help us manage. But when we start placing blame and concentrating our energy and thoughts toward these things in a negative matter, it builds up mental, emotional and even physical fatigue. Spiritually, we’re impacted because often times, we stop believing.

We start focusing on things that don’t matter — we make excuses and give far too much credit to the things that hold us back, as opposed to optimizing our energy and willing ourselves to believe and follow-through on our goals. We value ourselves less and place insignificant worries on a pedestal.

In Closing

“Whatever it takes to finish things, finish. You will learn more from a glorious failure than you ever will from something you never finished.” — Neil Gaiman

I’m willing to bet there is something out there that you started this year that has been placed on the back burner or been sacrificed in favor of something else. Perhaps, something more pressing. A “fire drill” that demanded your attention. Now you may be asking yourself, how do I find the time and the ability to do what I really want?

Commit to a large, overarching goal. That begins with an idea. Then, start inspiring yourself. Come back to this great publication for inspiration and motivation. Heck, you’re welcome to reach out to me and ask me about my own journey. Perseverance and committing to action is what leads to all great rewards.

There’s never an excuse for a lack of planning or for feeling that you don’t have enough tools or resources at your disposal. Even if you don’t have all the connections, you surely have technology and the ability to use plenty of free tools to put together your game plan. All you need to do is act. First, it’s best to have a rock-solid foundation of core values to build on.

What promises did you make to yourself? What have you begun that you stopped and aren’t sure whether you will start again? As you think through these pertinent questions, I implore you to step up and take action for yourself, not out of duty or obligation, but out of a burning desire to find achievement and success in what you do.

It’s not just about the end goal. It’s about the journey we take to get there. Because it’s that journey that shapes us, molds us and defines us in the end. We become the sum of the parts of our personal experiences.

That major project you have at work that your boss keeps asking about? Finish the job. That final chapter of your book that you keep putting off? Finish it.The business idea that you wrote down? Pick up the notepad, read it, and start putting together an actionable plan to give life to that idea.

The final couple weeks of the year are a great time to take inventory and look back at all you started, where you are and what’s to come for next year. Don’t lose sight of the progress you’ve made. Keep pushing forward to the finish line, whether it’s the end of this calendar year or a date in the future. Keep Going. There’s still work to do.

My new book is now available! Order the e-book HERE! Get the paperback here: http://amzn.to/2A5fsRVValue Yourself!

Order my new book on Values!

Contact me if you’d like, Follow my Facebook Page and Join me on your journey. Let’s GO!

Finish the Job: Close Out Your Year With Confidence was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

That’s legitimately helpful feedback — I appreciate that.

That’s legitimately helpful feedback — I appreciate that. Certainly easy to show, harder to tell. Feedback like this makes a difference and I’ll keep this in mind on the next piece. I often share a lot of my story, and sometimes I try to refrain from making things too personal. I always try to bring it back to the reader and give them guidance for practical application It’s obviously a balance. Thanks for taking the time to write this — you’ve given me a lot to think about, which I love! — Cheers, Chris

Focus Blue The goal here in writing personal development is to help people.

Focus Blue The goal here in writing personal development is to help people. I write for free here on Medium. I’ve written on the site for a while now and I’ve helped people. I know because they tell me. Reading your comment, I don’t think you’re trying to help me. Those are your thoughts, whether you’re trolling or not, so be it. Just know — it inspires me to want to continue writing things I’m passionate about and providing and demonstrating examples that will make a difference for readers. Good luck in your reading!