Jordan Antonacci's Blog, page 60

Poem: Words like Weapons

An assault rifle

loaded with words

holds the potential

for murder

Lines and rhymes

like live rounds

fire at life

without a single sound

With a single sentence

one can teach love

or place a period

and simply end it

Just one stanza

can compel an army

like a puppeteer

and forces otherworldly

With the bare bones

of one paragraph

one can learn that stones

aren’t so bad

And with this trigger finger

I wield this pen

to put my brains

upon this blank page again

An assault rifle

loaded with words

allows the writer

to finally be heard

Hope you all liked the poem! Like, follow, share, all that good stuff.

Thanks for reading

Poem: What I Am.

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I’m a hopeless romantic

who hasn’t yet

learned how

to love

I’m a memory hoarder

buried alive

beneath all the memories

I can’t let go of

I’m an artist

drowning in the colors

of his own

painting

I’m an addict

and I can’t stop

from overdosing

on love

I’m a pen with no ink

A heart with no beat

A needle with no drug

A life with no love

I’m a broken heart

a phone with no calls

a deserted highway

a sky with no stars

I’m everything

I’m nothing

Just another face

in the crowd

And no matter how

loud I scream

I can never

truly make a sound

I’m just me.

I’m a sun that doesn’t burn hot

I’m a moon that never shows its face

I’m a mouth that doesn’t smile

I’m a word that no one ever wants to say

-Daisy, Brand New

Thank you for reading! Hope you all have a great weekend

Poem: What I Am.

[image error]

I’m a hopeless romantic

who hasn’t yet

learned how

to love

I’m a memory hoarder

buried alive

beneath all the memories

I can’t let go of

I’m an artist

drowning in the colors

of his own

painting

I’m an addict

and I can’t stop

from overdosing

on love

I’m a pen with no ink

A heart with no beat

A needle with no drug

A life with no love

I’m a broken heart

a phone with no calls

a deserted highway

a sky with no stars

I’m everything

I’m nothing

Just another face

in the crowd

And no matter how

loud I scream

I can never

truly make a sound

I’m just me.

I’m a sun that doesn’t burn hot

I’m a moon that never shows its face

I’m a mouth that doesn’t smile

I’m a word that no one ever wants to say

-Daisy, Brand New

Thank you for reading! Hope you all have a great weekend

Entries of the Heart Pt 2

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him.

Journal entry 2:

Dear Diary,

For the first time in three years, my day has been struck by change. Every morning, I’m awoken by my alarm at 6:45 am. I then shower, brush my teeth, and eat a bowl of whole grain cereal while watching The Today Show before sitting down to write.

This morning was different.

Today, I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm, and though I lost sleep, I felt wide awake. For a moment, I wondered why. Then I remembered. When I did, I bolted upright into a world of suspense.

“I’m supposed to meet that girl. In less than two hours. Shit.”

I shot out of bed and raced through my morning routine, completely skipping over The Today Show. Once I was ready, I stood in front of the mirror, combing and recombing my hair, situating my collar, and even questioning my shoelaces. Must’ve stood there for at least 15 minutes before I said, “What the hell,” and left.

As I pulled into the parking lot at the beach, my palms were beginning to sweat. It took a minute, but I finally let myself admit that I was nervous. I didn’t know why, though. It didn’t make sense. She was just some random girl. A stranger. So why did it matter?

With weak knees and jittery hands, I went back to that same spot on the beach, then I sat in the sand, and waited. It was hard trying not to look around for her. With a pen from my pocket, I jotted down some story ideas onto a napkin to keep myself busy.

But as the tide rose, so too did the sun.

After a while, I thought, Maybe I’m supposed to meet her in the parking lot. But when I went back, she wasn’t there either.

Almost two hours had passed since I’d gotten there, and it was time for me to accept the truth. I swallowed hard then shrugged away whatever pitiful emotion I was feeling. I hated to admit it, but I’d never felt so stupid. How could I let my hopes soar over a stranger like that? Finally, I headed back to my car, refusing to let myself look for her anymore. I was about to pull out of the parking lot when something in the rearview grabbed my sight.

It was her.

~ ~

With our bare feet in the salty ocean water, we walked down the beach.

“I really am sorry,” she said. “I don’t want you thinking I was having second thoughts about coming.”

“It’s really fine. I promise. You have a big night?”

“No, I just had a bit on my mind.”

“Ah, gotcha.” I felt like she wanted to say more. I wanted to ask but felt like it was none of my business. Why did I feel so awkward? “So, are you from California?”

“No, I’m actually from Savanna. Yeah, I moved down here to live with my boyfriend about a year ago.”

“Oh, you have a boyfriend?”

“Huh? Oh, no, I’m sorry. No, we actually split up. Recently.”

“Really? After you made this life-changing transition? Oh my God. I’m sorry.” She didn’t really say much then. I could tell I’d reopened a wound. I felt like I needed to tend to it. “We don’t know each other, but if you ever need to like, vent, you can talk to me.”

I’m not sure if it was what I said, or… but she smiled a smile I hadn’t yet seen on her. Then she did that cute little motion where she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and turns to the ground with a smile.

“What?” I asked.

“What?”

“Why are you smiling?”

“I’m not. You are.”

And I was. Even though I was trying not to. I just couldn’t help it. For the first time since I was a kid, I smiled till my cheeks hurt, and it was all because of her. And even as the people arrived and the noise grew, I couldn’t hear it. All I could hear, all I could see, was her.

When the time came, I walked her back to her car. Suddenly, I was hit by such a bad case of the nerves I felt like I was going to throw up. Before I could think anymore, I said, “Can I take you on a date?”

She bit her lip. My heart stopped and I’m pretty sure I died for a second.

“I’d like that,” she said, before putting her number into my phone.

her.

Journal entry 2:

I wasn’t going to go. I thought long and hard about it all night. I thought about Daniel, and what he did. I thought about how blind I was in my quest to earn his love. It was the worst pain I’ve ever had to endure. Was I ready to potentially put myself out in the line of fire again? Would I ever be ready?

And yet, I could not get the vision of the beautiful stranger to fade from my mind. After much debate, I headed to bed. As I drifted off, the last thing I remember thinking was Take the risk or lose the chance.

Before I knew it, it was morning, and yet…where was the alarm? I rolled over and looked at the time. 9:15! I gasped. I jumped up, took the fastest shower ever, pulled my hair up in the messiest ponytail ever, threw something on, and ran out. If I looked awful yesterday, I looked abysmal today.

I pulled up to the parking lot just as he pulled away. For a split second, my heart sang at the fact that he hadn’t stood me up. Then I remembered that he was leaving because he thought I had stood him up. Defeated, I headed back to my car when, to my surprise… he came back.

~~

We walked along the ocean as I had done yesterday. I apologized again for running late, and he was extremely understanding. He asked me if I had a big night, and I let it slip that I had a bit on my mind. I wish I hadn’t said that.

“So, are you from California?” he asked.

“I’m from all over.” I replied. ” Most recently, Savannah. I moved down here with my boyfriend about a year ago.”

Why did I say that?

“Oh, you have a boyfriend?” he asked, with the sound of defeat in his voice.

“Um, no. Actually, we split up recently. I’m sorry.” I stammered.

With kindness in his eyes and sincerity in his voice, he offered to be there for me if I needed to talk. To be honest, I wanted to tell him everything right then and there. I wanted to put out there how hurt I had been, and how scared I was to ever go through anything like that again. I couldn’t bring myself to do it though. It was just way too much baggage to unload on the beautiful stranger at 11am.

Instead, I smiled, which he called me out on. We had a playful back and forth while he walked me back to my car. The day concluded with him asking me on a date. I bit my lip, and for a split-second, all I could feel was the pounding of my heart.  Take the risk or lose the chance.

“I’d like that.”

Hi there

Poem: Destined to Drown

Floating through this life

broken

Like a lifeless body

drifting through a

vast ocean

Unable to find

a way out

a shore, or

a lighthouse

Beneath the surface

in these waters of murk

I know are monsters

I know they lurk

But as I

go to scream

my lungs are filled

and I cannot breathe

Sometimes I ache

to let myself sink

hit rock bottom

as my limbs grow weak

Without a raft

I’ll certainly go down

I kick and I swim

But as it would appear

I think that I

am destined to drown

Thanks for reading

Entries of the Heart, Pt 1

“Entries of the Heart” is a series created and written by me and Jessica (Lady Lazarus). Jessica is a very talented writer and artist whose blog is quickly growing. If you haven’t yet, do take some time to go check out her blog at the link above

Sunshine Blogger Award! :)

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Hello peoples,

Ya boy has been nominated for his second Sunshine Blogger Award, and couldn’t be happier. It’s nice knowing that, though you write dark, some readers are able to see through to the underlying light and meanings of your posts.

I’ve been nominated by my oh so lovely friend, Jessica, AKA Lady Lazarus. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, she’s a great writer, a great poet, and her drawings are ridiculous. Do check out her blog and be sure to give her a follow if you like what you read (which, you will–duh).

At the end of this post is a big announcement from me and Jessica. So, if you don’t care about what’s in between, then just scroll on down

Repost: The Impossible Is Possible Tonight, Tonight…

An amazing post by the wonderful Lady Lazarus where she opens up about how her blog came to be and gives me a friendly shout out. An amazing blogger whose circle is growing quick. Do check her out

Lady Lazarus

I’m going to break my own mold in this post and do something different..dare I say positive even!

The lovely and incredibly talented Mr. Hush Hush (Hush) blew me away earlier when he featured me on his latest post, giving my blog recognition. His extremely kind words inspired me to do a post on just how much this blog, and each and every one of you, mean to me.

I started this blog two days after someone I cared deeply about broke my heart and used each and every one of my insecurities against me. I didn’t know what else to do. I wasn’t inspired to do any of the normal creative things I’ve done in the past, so I decided to try blogging as a means to tell my side of the story. Aside from writing songs, I had never really written. I didn’t know what to expect, but…

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Blogger Shoutout + Guest Posts

Blogging. Oh, sweet, beautiful blogging.

There are so many truly skilled, talented, dedicated bloggers out there–and I have an appreciation for them that’s greater than any other. That’s because bloggers don’t have to do it. If you think about it, blogging is literally like giving yourself a homework assignment several times a week. You think of a topic, do research, then sit down, write and rewrite. What makes these bloggers even more admirable is the fact that they slave away at their keyboards without receiving a single cent in return.

And for what?

Because this is what they love. Writing, art, expression–it’s their passion. It’s all they know, and for some, it’s all they have. And we as readers should be grateful to be able to feast our eyes upon such art for free.

Meanwhile, there are some “bloggers” out there who are comfortable hitting the Publish button after writing a post that looks more like a Twitter status update.

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There are so many names and blogs I’d love to list here… but for now, I’m going to list a few of my favorites. Please do consider checking out these bloggers, and maybe giving them a follow if you like what you read

Poem: Happy Little Pill

Dear oh dear

happy little pill

You’re all I need

to make me feel

You’re all I need

to help these wounds heal

But what a short-lived fantasy

As I’m bleeding still

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Like a seed

I plant you deep

inside of me

 

Take my world of

black and white

Let buckets of blue and violet

rain into the sky

With a massive sea

of brown and green

water life into

the nature and trees

With pink and yellow

introduce me with a “Hello”

to the beauty within

the flower petals

Dear oh dear

happy little pill

when the reality of here

becomes too much to deal

like a fishing rod

you help me to reel

You help me to chill

but you keep me so numb

by turning my broken heart

into an icebox

Dear oh dear

happy little pill

like cheap makeup

you keep the truth of me concealed

To the masses, you

keep me an appeal

but will oh will

I ever be real?

Thanks for reading, everyone. And congratulations–you’ve officially made it to the weekend