Jordan Antonacci's Blog, page 59
June 24, 2018
Reblog: The Killed Conscious, Book Review
What an absolutely amazing review! 4.5 stars? I can’t stop smiling. Thank you so much DeeDee
Today we celebrate the latest release from author Jordan Antonacci! The Killed Conscience
Investigative journalist Emilee Weathers is hungry for the perfect story and not too particular about how she has to get it. Asked to help find new evidence for a convicted serial killer’s appeal, she heads for the mountain town of Pigeon Forg
When she discovers the body of a recent victim, the questions come thick and fast. Has she happened upon the work of a copycat? Is the real killer still out there? And is there anybody in this neck of the woods she can trust?
My Review
The Killed Conscious
Jordan Antonacci
4.5/5 stars
Emilee Weathers is fresh out of college, with her newly printed degree in Journalism and in a relationship that has lasted too long past its prime, when she gets a call that will change everything.
Detective Nichols from…
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Poem: I am VDK
A little poem written from the perspective of my mystery novel’s main villain, the Valentine’s Day Killer.
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I’m a monster
A killer
The worst villain
in every thriller
The night’s breath
An empty grave
A cold wind
A guilty crave
An alien
An eater of worlds
A black hole
A shattered pearl
A shadow
wrapped in the wrath
of madness
The bloodied thorns
of a rose
The crack
in a halo
A fallen angel
The unspoken
The wretched
and the lonely
I am anger
I am hate
I am love
I am VDK
-The Valentine’s Day Killer
June 23, 2018
Blog Tour + Book Blitz has begun!
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Goodmorning! Not gonna lie, when I woke up this morning, I’d almost forgotten everything going on today. Yikes. Been staying up too late here recently.
If you haven’t already, stop by The Cozy Pages to check out the author interview + excerpt post done by Nina for the tour launch. Also, I didn’t tell you this, but it’s Nina’s birthday, so if you do stop by, don’t forget to say something 
June 22, 2018
Poem: Till I Forget Love
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So I’ll get fucked up
till I forget love
till I forget us
and what was
What could’ve been
It’s just too much
Driving down this road
is just too rough
and it’s leaving me
a bit cut up
a bit numb, coz
when I went to touch
I found your heart
to be ice cold
Now all of us
all that I know
has been turned to dust
as a black wind blows
You took the hourglass
of my life
You broke it, and
wasted my time
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Thanks for reading!
-Jordan Antonacci
Twitter: @misterhushhush
The Killed Conscience… is ALIVE!
Sorry. A bit dramatic there. I meant live. The Killed Conscience is live… on Amazon.
Okay. Cool.
A massive thanks to all the beta readers and everyone who’s helped with the book. You’re all mentioned in the acknowledgments in the back
The Tragedy of Truth
I’m not okay.
There are two sides to everything: two sides to every story, night and day, inside and out… and even for me. See, there’s who I am, and then there’s who I want to be.
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On this blog, I’ve always preached to be yourself. Really, it’s what my blog is about. But I myself have never truly been able to follow my own advice, though I may have occasionally tricked myself into believing otherwise (particularly, here lately). I’ve been kicked back with my feet up, living inside my own little fantasy world with the drapes shut and doors locked. Just me, myself, and my lies. In this fantasy world, I am exactly who I’ve always wanted to be. I have the job, smile, heart, dreams… Basically, I’m happy.
But every so often, I’ll stumble into a situation that’ll shake me, and I’ll wake up.
As I write this post, I’m sitting alone at a table for two in the middle of Starbucks. Not that that’s a problem—a lot of people come to Starbucks alone to work. But right now, it’s happy hour here, and the place is quite busy. Everyone here is with someone. I see relationships in their rawest form. What they should look like. Laughter, comfort, and warmth. I can see it, but why can’t I ever feel it? Moments like these are the only ones loud enough to finally wake me up and bring me back to reality. When I first walked through the doors of this store, I felt confident in what I felt—but as I sit here, everyone’s laughter fades to a drone, then white noise, then silence. I look around and I see what happiness—real happiness—looks like. I then reflect over my own happiness and I realize it was never truly there to begin with. It was a dream. And I’ve woken up.
“Look at them. They can all laugh and play; it comes so easily for them. Even though I’m not one of them, even though sometimes I can truly be a monster, today I’m just… a sea monster.”
-Dexter
And it’s only when I’m awake that I sit up, look around, and fully appreciate the melancholic tragedy of my reality. It being that I’ve been lying to myself. My truth is that I’m not happy. I’m lost, I’m empty… I’m depressed.
But, despite this revelation, I don’t believe I’ll ever snap out of my little dream world. In my dreams, I’m exactly who I want to be, and honestly, I’d rather live a lie than face my broken reality. So, I’ll close my drapes, lock my doors, lay myself down, and go back to sleep.
I’m not happy.
I’m not okay.
Thanks for reading.
Jordan Antonacci
Twitter: @misterhushhush
RIP XXXTentacion
June 21, 2018
Poem: The Dawn of a New Day
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As my eyelids part
I pay recognition
to the slow rhythm
of my beating heart
Lub dub…
Lub dub…
I awake
only to witness
the sun pave way
to another day
As the sky is lit
by the touch of a flame
a subtle peachy haze
the nightlife
slowly…
fades…
away
When the birds sing
soft chirping melodies
while pitched above
the quiet streets
Before the others
have yet to wake up
and freshly brewed coffee
fills my cup
Morning dew
glistening
on freshly cut
blades of grass
The air around
so still, as if
the world was
a framed picture
The new day
is just like
a blank page
before I write
It is where
all the possibilities
begin
Too bad
it always has to
end
Goodmorning!
Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the poem.
The Killed Conscience goes live on Amazon tomorrow! Also, stay tuned in to The Cozy Pages as Nina will be kicking off the blog tour by giving me a rather entertaining interview on the 23rd.
June 20, 2018
Blog Tour Schedule!
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June 23: Nina – The Cozy Pages
June 24: DeeDee – Invisible no more
June 25: Laura – LFBooks
June 26: Laura – LFBooks
June 27: Kelly Griffiths
June 28: Jordan – Etheric Ecology
June 29: Stories in Between
The second part of the tour will continue on July 3 – July 14.
A huge thank you to all of you! Readers, I encourage you to check these bloggers out
June 19, 2018
Where I got the idea for my book
In his book On Writing, Stephen King points out that there is no special place where you can go to find ideas and inspiration. “There is no Idea Dump, no Story Central, no Island of the Buried Bestsellers,” as he says. A lot of writers like to wait for ideas and inspiration to arrive—but any writer who’s ever gotten anything finished knows that that isn’t the way it works. If you wait, then you’ll be standing there with your hands in your pockets for a while. Though ideas may promise to come, they’ll always leave you stood up. Dreams don’t come knocking—you have to chase them.
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Where did I find my own idea? I randomly thought it up after watching every single Dateline episode ever released. Then some that weren’t released. Ha-ha, no, not really. Well, kinda…
I got the idea, oddly enough, when I was thinking about the icky, ooey gooey emotion that is love. I know, right? How does thinking about love result in a 230-page book about an investigative journalist hunting a killer? Good question. Before I start coming off as a sadistic psychopath, let me explain…
Relationships are a major part of everyone’s life. They’re a big part of my life, even if I can’t keep one. I enjoy the good sides of relationships and unconditional love. And who doesn’t? I’ve been in some very passionate relationships, but I’ve also been in some very toxic and destructive ones. While single, I’d hang out at public places, like the mall, and just people watch. I watched a lot of couples and tried to get an image of what true love looks like.
Didn’t work.
I soon came to understand that love isn’t something you can see; it’s only something you can feel.
It’s interesting—though a beautiful thing, love can cause people to do some of the ugliest and most fucked up stuff imaginable. It can push us, make us violate our own conscience, and make us forget who we are entirely. That… that is the madness of love. Ultimately, I began wondering what it would look like for an innocent person to completely lose themselves in this madness. I wondered how much of their own conscience they’d violate and how many rules they’d break if this love was put on the wire.
The result?
The Killed Conscience.
The Killed Conscience is set to go live on June 22.
With the date being just days away, I keep expecting myself to feel at least a little nervous… but I don’t. Really, I’m only excited. This has all been one hell of a journey and I know I’ve given it my all, so, I’m happy.
June 23 begins the first part of the blog tour, the book blitz, and… it’s Nina’s birthday! She’s decided to spend it kicking off the blog tour and giving me an interview! Isn’t she the sweetest?
June 18, 2018
Where I got the idea for my book
In his book On Writing, Stephen King points out that there is no special place where you can go to find ideas and inspiration. “There is no Idea Dump, no Story Central, no Island of the Buried Bestsellers,” as he says. A lot of writers like to wait for ideas and inspiration to arrive—but any writer who’s ever gotten anything finished knows that that isn’t the way it works. If you wait, then you’ll be standing there with your hands in your pockets looking pretty dumb for a while. Though ideas may promise to come, they’ll always leave you stood up. Dreams don’t come knocking—you have to chase them.
[image error]
Where did I find my own idea? I randomly thought it up after watching every single Dateline episode ever released. Then some that weren’t released. Ha-ha, no, not really. Well, kinda…
I got the idea, oddly enough, when I was thinking about the icky, ooey gooey emotion that is love. I know, right? How does thinking about love result in a 230-page book about an investigative journalist hunting a killer? Good question. Before I start coming off as a sadistic psychopath, let me explain…
Relationships are a major part of everyone’s life. They’re a big part of my life, even if I can’t keep one. I enjoy the good sides of relationships and unconditional love. And who doesn’t? I’ve been in some very passionate relationships, but I’ve also been in some very toxic and destructive ones. While single, I’d hang out at public places, like the mall, and just people watch. I watched a lot of couples and tried to get an image of what true love looks like.
Didn’t work.
I soon came to understand that love isn’t something you can see; it’s only something you can feel.
It’s interesting—though a beautiful thing, love can cause people to do some of the ugliest and most fucked up stuff imaginable. It can push us, make us violate our own conscience, and make us forget who we are entirely. That… that is the madness of love. Ultimately, I began wondering what it would look like for an innocent person to completely lose themselves in this madness. I wondered how much of their own conscience they’d violate and how many rules they’d break if this love was put on the wire.
The result?
The Killed Conscience.
The Killed Conscience is set to go live on June 22.
With the date being just days away, I keep expecting myself to feel at least a little nervous… but I don’t. Really, I’m only excited. This has all been one hell of a journey and I know I’ve given it my all, so, I’m happy.
June 23 begins the first part of the blog tour, the book blitz, and… it’s Nina’s birthday! She’s decided to spend it kicking off the blog tour and giving me an interview! Isn’t she the sweetest?
