Jordan Antonacci's Blog, page 61

Poem: You were my Blue Moon

“Those three words

You were my first

I can’t help thinking

Maybe you were my blue moon

Maybe I let go too soon

Running from what could be

So terrified of happy

Maybe you were my blue moon”

Thinking About You.

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A fire in my skull

Memories turned to ash

blown away by a cold wind

I’ll never get them back

We’d order a pizza

Eat it in bed

with hours of conversation

and sheets soaking wet

They say the truest of love

is a once in a lifetime

type of thing

Like a sight of

the Northern Lights

Like a lightning strike

that hits the same place

twice

When I think of you

I think of a blue moon

I think of snow during June

I think of a bleeding heart split in two

Unable to be stitched

Unable to be fixed

A broken heart

unable to mend

When I read the past over

and dig beneath

the sands of time

I think of four leaf clovers

Till they’re crushed underneath

carless boots that are mine

Stomp, stomp, stomp…

Stop, stop, stop…

When I think of you

I think of volcanic lightning

and fire rainbows

Sights I’ll never see

Just like our tomorrows

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Thanks for reading.

-Jordan Antonacci

Twitter: @misterhushhush

P.S. Remember this song?

Poem: This Red Sea

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A red sea

of broken memories

floods deep

into all of me

It seeps beneath

this dam I’ve built

This armor-like skin

and wraps me in its current

Its waves rise

and crash mercilessly

bombarding the shores

of my sanity

A raging tsunami

through the streets of my home

washing away debris

and all I’ve ever known

And now everything

I once held dearest

has been destroyed by the memories

I cannot forget

Within this red sea

where my broken memories bleed

to the bottom, I sink

within this red sea

 

-Jordan Antonacci

Twitter: @misterhushhush

June 22nd

Poem: Trigger Finger

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A trigger finger

on a pen

blowing out

my brains again

A blank canvas

washed in

strokes of red

paints a picture

of all the madness

in my head

A trigger finger

against her skin

can kill her with

just one touch

And all her tales

the pictures to come

will all be tainted

by her own blood

A trigger finger

to build this house

will build it just

to blow it down

Now all the life

I see and touch

is murdered by

my hands like guns

So I aim this finger

into my mind

I pull the trigger

then I write

Kiss you at red lights kinda love

For a while at least, it seemed like they were written in the stars.

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They first met in high school. Both lived in the same middle-class suburban neighborhood. He was the new kid from out of state who was quickly building a reputation for trouble and all things bad. She was the country girl, destined to build love just to watch it fall.

It started out small. They had mutual friends and would occasionally bump into each other around the neighborhood—parks, the pond, the bus stop…

But one thing led to another, and like any other high school infatuation, it quickly blossomed into something that threatened to shatter trust and break hearts.

They began talking through social media—flirtatious messages that would carry on through all hours of the night. That could only satisfy so much though. Whatever they had, it was growing. Soon, they began sneaking out in the late of night, creeping through the streets of their sleeping neighborhood and hanging out at the park together. On their last night together, he snuck her into his house. He took her up to his room and together, they laid on the bed where they shared a kiss that wasn’t meant to be relived until almost a decade later.

Then, as mysteriously as it began, it ended. Both moved on and found new love elsewhere.

Nine years later, that country girl found herself thinking back to the boy who left her with heartache. She looked him up on social media and sent him a message.

Hey! Remember me?

And of course he did. The memories bombarded the shores of his sanity like a tsunami.

They set up a lunch together that unfolded into much more than either could’ve expected. Much more than either were prepared to handle. Maybe too much, and at a completely wrong time. At the end of the lunch, he grabbed her hand as she began walking away. “Wait,” he said. He cupped her face in his palm and kissed her lips gently. His stomach fluttered with the wings of a million swarming butterflies—something he’d never felt.

Sadly, as beautiful as the love story began, it’s final pages are much more disastrous; the words covering them written in blood and crying out in heartbreak. Just like every story has to begin, every story has to end.

But within their little love story, a bookmark is placed on a very specific chapter. In it, the two are in separate cars, driving side by side down a road on a winter’s afternoon. They pull up to a stoplight. She looked at him and smiled–that dimpled grin he knew he’d forever love. Then he opened his car door, got out, leaned in through her passenger window, and kissed her. When he got back into his car, he tried to smile as he looked at her. She waved to him and mouthed the words Bye, I love you. Then the light turned green, and the two drove their separate ways.

The End.

PS. Does this sound about right?

Hey everyone,

Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ve had a good week so far. Good news: “I’m already halfway there!” Spongebob anyone? No? Okay.

Anyway, my mystery novel The Killed Conscience is available for pre-order. I hope you’ll check it out

-Jordan Antonacci

Twitter: @misterhushhush

Poem: What the Fuck

I first saw you

While I was sitting in the car

In a suburban neighborhood

After a job

Then my boss

John

Climbed into

The passenger seat

You were outside

A few houses down

Playing with

Your dog

John looked at me

With his brows raised

He said

Damn

I didn’t say a thing

But it was weird

Coz he’s at least

Twice your age

Then your dog got away

And ran down the street

Coincidentally

Right at me

So I grabbed it.

You looked

So much more beautiful

Up close

Your hair was in

A messy side bun

Coming undone

Thanks, you said

Smiling

Under heavy breaths

I don’t know why he keeps

Running away

From me

Me neither, I said

Handing him back to you

Your eyes were hazel

Hair dirty blonde

I was hoping it reflected

Your personality

But you seemed

Sweet

There was a prolonged

Pause

Where we couldn’t turn away

At all

I said have a nice day

And headed for the truck

Then I stopped and thought

What the fuck

I suddenly became

Self aware

And nervous

In the 93 degree heat

I was sweaty

And my work shirt

Dirty

Still I asked

If I could give you

My number

You smiled and

Turned to the ground

Tucking a strand of hair

Behind your ear

You said

Why don’t I give you

My number

I didn’t know what that meant

But I said

Okay

When I got back in the truck

John asked

If I planned on calling

I shrugged

Maybe if I

Get lonely enough

Maybe if I

Get messed up enough

But one night

I’m sure I’ll say

What the fuck

Poem: The Power of Art

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I want to speak

And let floods of red emotion

Flow from my

Devilish tongue

With the power to drown

An entire army

In no more

Than a few drops

With a few words

Compel

Like the mouth

Of God

To create

An entire city

On a blank page

Then turn it to ash

On the next

With the words I write

I want to guide

Like invisible hands

in the sky

Tugging at

Strings

The world is my

Marionette

I am the

Puppeteer

With the power of

A loaded gun

Art can kill

Or teach love

A pen loaded

With my blood

Drawn from

Wounds I cut

As I write

And open up

Spilling out

All of my guts

You can’t spell heart

Without art

And that’s what it is

My missing part

Hey people,

Hope you liked the poem

The Habits of my Heart

I could’ve sworn that I’d killed her. I remember placing her limp body, all our keepsakes and memories into a wooden box and burying it all six-feet deep on a deserted planet in a galaxy far, far away. I then remember coming home to sew shut the gaping vortex in my heart, dust myself off and keep moving forward. I actually thought I was free. It’s funny now that I look back on it.

Then her decayed hand broke through the soil for one more taunting wave Hello.

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I read somewhere on the internet that it may take just 21 days for your brain to forget love. Dear God if I wasn’t just days away. If I wasn’t just steps away from the finish line before her name popped back up on my phone and drop-kicked me right back to where. I. Fucking. Started.

How can one little thing completely derail weeks of success? How can the pull of one brick completely collapse an entire fucking tower? How could I have spent tedious hours putting myself back together only for you to come tear me back apart in the matter of a few minutes? HOW?!

And the biggest question I have: Why?

Why contact me again? Why come back into my orbit just to drift back away? Just to tell me that you miss me? Just to tell me that you’d thrown away the presents I made you? Just to remind me of how you used to kiss me? Was it just so you could find out what new girl has been sleeping on your side of the bed? Or was it just because you were starting to feel insignificant knowing that I was happily moving on without you? Figured you’d come back, tear open the old scars, and leave a new one to remember you by?

Jesus, I knew I shouldn’t have responded. I knew I’d regret it as soon as I opened the message. But… for whatever rhyme or reason, I can’t see straight with you. No matter how logical I try and be, there’s always a glimmer of hope in me that maybe this won’t unfold into the nightmare I’ve seen so many times. I’m so stupid. I’m so fucking dumb. My heart is always playing tricks on my mind and I’m so fucking weak. Gullible. Nieve. All I do is give in. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, and I can’t stop, though I want so badly to stop, and I don’t want to feel like this but I can’t help it ansfosiwgfawsnfgopiwnjedgoi;ahnwedgioahdahnwdegiowhn

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I wasn’t even going to give this girl the satisfaction of yet another post. Wasting my time. But this has been boiling beneath my skin, and I need somewhere to vent before I fucking explode. In the beginning, this post was a lot angrier. Then I spent the day at the pool and kinda let the dust inside me settle.

What’s really silly is that I wouldn’t jump back in a relationship with you if someone paid me to. It’s just that, what you are to me is a constant reminder of everything that could’ve been with us. I seem addicted to the hope that I’ll maybe one day get to see it. But I know that’s just some delusional fantasy. I start winging myself off, but then you come back and it’s like a relapse; I let myself fall back into that fantasy though I know I shouldn’t. Then I feel stupid when I realize you didn’t really want anything. It was just another game.

I need help. Fuck me, I need help. I’m not much of a believer in God, but I do pray with everything for him to please keep this woman away from me. I know she’s reading this but it doesn’t matter how much pain I express—it’s like she’s only drawn to it. Should there be a time when I’m NOT in pain over her, she’ll come put the knife back in me then walk away again. I’m SICK of being heartbroken. I’m SICK of letting her be the one to hurt me. And I’m DONE feeling.

Author Bio

[image error]24-year-old Jordan Antonacci is one dumb motherf*@#er who needs to learn how to put his heart on a damn leash. That is all.

Short story: Shadow Lake Pt. 2

“Lainey? We playing hide and seek?” He peered into the dark past the towering trees, and sometimes back at the lake. “Well, if so, then I give up.” There was a brittleness to his playful tone. “Okay? Babe, you can come out now… Lainey?”

Nathan turned in search until he was spinning in circles and entangling himself in his anxious thoughts. He put both hands on his head—as if to try and keep it on his shoulders.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” he whispered to himself. “Think. Just think.”

Thinking Lainey could’ve gone back to the tent, Nathan headed that way. Until he heard a sound—one that grabbed him and held him still as chills prickled down his spine. Coming from behind him, Nathan heard something move in the water. A faint trickle or splash. Sounded like a small fish jumping out of the water.

He turned back to the sound, slow, like he was fearful of what he may see.

A soft breeze whistled through the trees. A creaking branch sounded like an old door opening in the woods.

Cautious steps lead him back toward the water. In one of those steps, he felt something hard beneath his boot. He moved his foot aside and saw a phone there in the grass. Lainey’s phone. He’d stepped on a button and the screen lit up to show her background image; it was a picture of him and her together.

Nathan’s eyes darted back toward the water, and that’s when he saw something that made his blood run cold. He rubbed his eyes as if to rub away the sight, but it stayed. There in the water blacker than the night sky, he saw bubbles rising to the surface.

“Lainey!”

The sight threw him into the water. Without a second thought, he charged into it. He swam out to where the bubbles were but they’d stopped.

Nathan took a breath and went under. His open eyes saw only black. With his hands out, he reached and grabbed in every direction but felt nothing. He resurfaced, took another breath, then went back under. This time deeper. He dove straight down, again reaching out and trying to see with his hands; trying to save her if only there was still time. But there wasn’t any more time in his lungs. Just as he began swimming back up, he felt the bottom of his shoe collide with something. Something dense. He didn’t need to see to know that whatever it was, it was big. He held still… then felt a current in the water as something moved quick below his feet.

Nathan swam back for the bank. Sloshing through the water, he pushed and pulled himself from the lake. Climbed from it like he was climbing through the teeth of Jaws.

He ran back to the tent and emptied his bag looking for the phone. That tiny black box fell out and landed in the dirt. Nathan grabbed his phone and, with trembling fingers, dialed three numbers he never could’ve imagined he’d have to dial.

“911 operator, what is your emerg—”

“Hi, I’m—my name is Nathan. My girlfriend, Lainey, is missing. I can’t… I can’t find her. Anywhere.”

“You can’t find your girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Okay, Sir. When was the last time you saw Lainey?”

“I don’t know. About half an hour ago. We’re—we’re at a lake, in the woods. She walked off for a second, I heard a splash. I’ve looked everywhere. I thought maybe she’d fallen into the lake so I went into the water, but I can’t find her, and…”

“Okay. It’s okay. Just take a deep breath for me, Sir. Can you give me an address for the lake?”

“We’re… shit. We pulled onto a road off 69. It’s south of Moundville, just past mile marker 125.”

“All right. And are you okay?”

“Aside from not being able to find my girlfriend, I’m fine.”

“Okay. I’m going to ask that you just stay on the phone with me until I can get someone to you, okay?”

Nathan didn’t respond.

“Are you there?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t just wait.”

“Sir—”

“I have to go. I’ll leave the phone here.”

Before the operator could say anything else, Nathan sat the phone down on the ground and ran toward his car. He ran as fast as his legs would let him. From the car, he grabbed his scuba gear and ran back down to the lake.

At the bank, Nathan’s jittery hands fumbled with his gear as he struggled to put it on; trying to move faster than he could. With his gear on, Nathan plunged himself back into the lake.

Through the cloudy, hazy water, Nathan walked the beam of his light across the lake’s floor. In the dirt and moss were broken beer bottles, rocks, critters, and a long piece of rope attached to a stray rusty anchor. He followed the bottom further into the lake… until it suddenly disappeared. Nathan swam out even further, over the vast black hole before him. When he shined his light back at the bottom, the light began slipping from his fingers after what he saw. He caught it, and forced himself to look again. Where the lake’s floor dropped off, the sides funneled down into a tunnel. While at first, the bottom appeared to be filled with nothing but an empty black, it seemed the harder Nathan stared into it, the more he began noticing a faint glow, deep, deep down. A light aqua hue. He wondered how far down it went. From where he swam, it appeared bottomless. Looked like it could’ve gone straight into the belly of the Earth.

Letting into a pull from below, he began diving down further.

Then, something caught his eyes. A string of bubbles rose just before his face. He looked down at where they came from. In all that black, he saw something; something he knew was unnamed… monstrous. Something big.

A lengthy black silhouette uncoiled itself and slowly stretched its way across the bottomless trench. Nathan floated, hardly able to keep himself up with the realization weighing on him—the realization that what he was seeing might actually be real. There was no question when he saw two glares quickly turn up to him.

The flashlight slipped from his hand as he began swimming to the surface. Desperation was in every kick, in every stroke. Was he moving fast enough? Was whatever he saw chasing him? He didn’t know and didn’t dare look back. Didn’t want to know. He burst through the surface and gasped for air like he’d been dunked in ice water. His hand anchored on land and clutched Earth for dear life. He climbed from the lake and ran, shedding his scuba gear as he did. But danger followed him right from the water; chased him like it still had a chance to drown him. Nathan kept looking back as he ran—like he was expecting whatever it was down there to erupt from the water and drag him back in. Then he smacked into something that stopped him dead. A tree?

“Whoa, whoa, easy, slow down,” a voice said.

Nathan turned to see two officers—one of which, he’d run into. He began pleading to the officers immediately, as if there was anything they could do.

“The water… Lainey…. Please, please, you have to listen to me. There’s something in the water. You have to send someone down there right now, please—”

“Calm down, calm down. It’s okay. Just take a breath for me. Are you Nathan?”

“Yes. My girlfriend is in the lake, and there’s something…” The image of what he’d seen in the lake resurfaced in his head. Then so did Lainey’s face. Nathan sat down in the grass and began to cry. “Lainey.”

Shortly thereafter, an ambulance, a firetruck, a few more officers, and a dive team arrived. Nathan stood by the bank as a search and rescue team dove down into the black waters. With his heart racing faster than his thoughts, he waited as the hours passed and the morning sun’s peachy haze chased away the night sky. When the divers reemerged, they went to Nathan. They looked a little uncertain.

“Um, so, there’s nothing down there,” one of the divers said.

“Right,” Nathan said, nodding along. “You mean there’s no bottom?”

The team exchanged looks. “Uh, no. There is a bottom. But there is no… creature.”

“Wh—what about Lainey?”

“We couldn’t find her. We’ll continue to search though.”

On the surface, Nathan Grey looked like calm waters—clean, crisp, gentle. And he stayed that way too, even as the cold, steel handcuffs were slapped around his wrists.

The body of Lainey Sommers was never found.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to like and follow if so! And happy Memorial Day

Talk soon,

-Jordan Antonacci

Twitter: @misterhushhush

The Killed Conscience is available for pre-order! Check it out

Short mystery story: Shadow Lake Pt. 1

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On the surface, Nathan Grey looked like calm waters—clean, crisp, gentle—, but below the surface, there were monstrous things that lurked.

LED headlights from his SUV beamed through the night air and across the desolate highway as he drove. Hanging from his rearview mirror was a wooden cross necklace and a photo of his mother; a photo of her before the medicines had robbed her of that blushing smile. A photo of her from when she was still around for the smile to even exist.

Flickering memories would cause Nathan’s eyes to gravitate back toward that rearview mirror minute after minute, hour after hour, making the road trip seem endless. But he couldn’t keep looking back. To look back was to stare down the barrel of a .45. It was just too painful. All he could do was look ahead to the timeless sands of Myrtle Beach, the palm trees, and the saltwater ocean calling out to him and his scuba gear.

“Are you awake?” Lainey, Nathan’s girlfriend, asked from the passenger seat.

“Me? No, I always drive while I sleep.”

She gave him a playful smack on the arm. “Don’t be a smartass. I just meant, are you tired?”

“I guess I am a little tired,” he said and then yawned. “Okay, I’m tired. Can hardly tell if I’m awake now.”

“We’ve been driving for a while.” She looked at the clock on the radio. “It’s almost midnight. Maybe we should stop somewhere.”

Nathan could tell by the arch in her brow that she wasn’t asking. “Okay, fine. You’re right.”

Lainey grinned at the words as they fell from his mouth.

“I’m not sure where we’ll pull over though,” Nathan said, glancing to the dark looming trees stretching along the road’s shoulder.

With the map in her hand, Lainey reached up and turned on an overhead light. She traced her finger along one of the ink roads, glanced up at a mile marker, then said, “Looks like we’ll be coming up on Moundville, Alabama before long.”

Nathan raised his eyebrows. “Are you suggesting we stay in a hotel? Kind of boring, don’t you think?”

“What else are we supposed to do?”

With a smirk, Nathan kept his eyes on the road and stayed quiet as he continued driving. The whole point of the trip was to keep his mind busy; make him forget, if there even was a way. Nathan was out there for the adventure, and he’d settle for nothing less.

An exit with a campsite sign was passed. What fun would that have been? Instead, he took an exit where the street lights didn’t go and then turned onto a road that couldn’t be seen on the map—a road with a street sign that laid bent and battered in the overgrown grass. Nathan turned off the stereo and gripped the wheel with both hands. The SUV let out creaks while slowly rolling over the tight and uneven road. With every pothole they hit, the keys in the ignition would clink and clack together in the silence.

Lainey asked him to turn back.

“Just a little further,” he said, his teeth on edge.

He followed the road beneath the jagged and twisted branches that swayed above. One mile turned to two…asphalt turned to gravel and dirt. It seemed the further they drove, the darker the night became. A feeling of uncertainty begged for his attention, but he shrugged it off and kept going. He was in it, searching for that adventure, hunting for that thrill.

After a few more miles, the gravel road came to an end at an area where the trees began clearing away. Through them, the glistening black of water could be seen not far ahead. Nathan turned off the car, then him and Lainey looked at each other. He gave a timid smile and raised his shoulders—like a child might do when he knows he’s pissed off Mommy.

Lainey shook her head. “You are crazy, Nathan Tyler.”

“Probably. But do you see that?”

She searched his line of sight. “See what?”

“The water. Past the trees. I think it’s a lake.”

Lainey squinted her eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Uh-oh, I think someone’s starting to appreciate my stubbornness now, huh?” He playfully poked at her. “Huh? Yeah?”

Lainey pulled herself from the SUV, fighting a smile as she did. They unloaded their tent and a couple of backpacks, then made their way toward the lake. The sounds of crickets, frogs, and an owl in the distance gave them both a feeling they’d grown to associate with home.

“I guess it’s all right,” Lainey finally admitted. “Although, I do kind of feel like I’m in a scene from Friday the 13th.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Nathan checked his phone. “No, I have three bars. If this were a slasher, I wouldn’t have any. Besides, doesn’t that eerie feeling add to the excitement? Make you feel alive?”

“You’re a freak.”

“Aw, but I’m you’re freak. Now come on. Let’s set up this tent—yeah?”

The two found a space between a few pine trees where the ground was flat and began setting up their tent. Nathan was connecting a couple of rods when he heard Lainey shriek. He jumped and turned to the commotion. Lainey stood with her hands over her mouth, staring at something.

“What is it?” Nathan asked.

She pointed. Nathan turned in that direction and saw a small snake on the ground. He rolled his eyes and continued putting the tent together.

“That’s it?” she asked with a shoulder shrug. “You’re not going to save me?”

“From what? The caterpillar?”

“Well fine then,” Lainey said as she began walking away.

“Where are you going?”

“I was gonna… I, uh… I have to go pee now. Be quiet.”

As soon as he heard her footsteps fade into silence, Nathan unzipped a small pocket on his bag and pulled from it a tiny black box. With the box cupped in his hand, he gently lifted the top and peeked underneath. Inside, was the one-carat round-cut diamond on the white gold band he’d picked out a week before. Almost as beautiful as her.

Then, the unexpected happened.

The sound of a splash came from behind. As soon as it did, the once-lively wildlife suddenly went hush. Nathan slipped the box back into its pocket and went to the sound.

“Lainey? Don’t go skinny dipping without me!” he shouted.

He walked down to the lake’s edge and stood staring out at the water. It looked so peaceful beneath the clear starry sky. Calm. In it, he looked for Lainey, but didn’t see her. The smooth ripples that held the moon’s glare looked undisturbed.

“Lainey?” He waited for a response… but there was only quiet.

Nathan walked along the bank’s edge, calling out to Lainey. He wondered where she could’ve gone. Hardly a few moments had passed. She couldn’t have gotten too far—unless she was hiding. Nathan turned and walked along the bank in the other direction. He continued for maybe fifty yards before he stopped and got a feeling in his gut. Felt like he was falling. The wilderness around him gradually returned to life as he retreated to a worrisome place inside.

…

Hey there,

Hope you’re all having a decent enough Memorial Day weekend. Personally, I can’t stand all of the extra time on my hands. Me+too much free time= bad, bad things are about to happen.

Anyway, keep it cool, play it safe, don’t do drugs, and if you’re like me, don’t get caught.

Also, my mystery novel, The Killed Conscience, is available for pre-order on Amazon, Kobo, and Smashwords. Check it out

-Jordan Antonacci

Twitter: @misterhushhush

Short Story: Loved to Death

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In the passenger seat of John’s 2003 red Ford pickup, Katie Sommers sat with her window down and the summer wind wild in her brunette hair. With her nails, she gently scratched the back of John’s neck as he drove, then her hand slid down his arm and her fingers interlocked with his. She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. For almost seven years, they’d been going at it. Ever since their sophomore year in high school when she sat by him at lunch and pestered him with flirtatious smiles until he surrendered his name.

“The new job going okay?” John asked.

Katie’s face fell. She turned to John; a hint of annoyance in her sapphire eyes.

“Should I take that as a ‘no’?”

Katie shrugged. “It’s just that I’ve already gotten two complaints from other coworkers. And I haven’t even been here two weeks.”

John’s brows furrowed. “Two? What’re they complaining about?”

“They said I haven’t been ‘enthusiastic enough,’” she said, making quotation marks in the air with her fingers.

“Is that true?”

“Nope…. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Baby, has something been bothering you? You can tell me, you know. As your boyfriend, I think listening is technically one of my legal requirements.”

Katie giggled. “I’ll have to remember that.”

“Is it the job?” John persisted. “Is being a nurse not what you expected?”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s just…. Are you sure you want to know?”

“Yeah, tell me. What is it?”

“It’s because…” She let out a sigh. “It’s because, when I go to work, I just miss you so much, John.”

John laid into the brakes at a stop sign and stared at Katie with a blank face, unamused. “Do you know how worried you had me just then?”

As the song on the stereo changed, Katie gasped with a smile. “Babe, our song’s on.” She reached over and turned the volume up loud.

The song was ‘You Love Me to Death’ by Hooverphonic. It’d been theirs since back in their senior year of high school, when the song played at prom after Katie had told John she loved him for the first time. She’d always swore she would love him to death. Every time she said it, he’d wonder if that meant she’d love him until one of them died, or if she’d love him to such an extent that it would literally kill him. He never asked, though. Just one of the millions of random thoughts he had in a day. After a moment, it’d always be swept away like the rest.

After a short drive, John brought the truck to a stop in front of Parksouth Hospital and turned down the music on the radio. “Here you are, your majesty.”

Katie shoved her handheld mirror into her purse and gave John a smack on the arm. Playful, but at the same time, serious.

“I’m late,” she said. “Always, always late when I stay at your place, John. Do you know that?”

“Then maybe you should stop joining me in the shower,” he suggested.

She stared at the space above her head like she was reading her own thought bubbles. “I’d rather be late.” Katie started to get out, but then she turned and looked at John like a lost puppy. “I hate leaving you.”

“I hate it too.” He mimicked her frown.

After a fat kiss on the lips, Katie pulled herself from the car. She brushed the wrinkles from her pink hospital scrubs and shut the door.

John rolled down the passenger widow. “I’ll see you tonight?”

She grinned and rolled her eyes. “Duh. But you have to be here by no later than 7:30, okay? My show’s coming on at 8 and I can’t miss it.”

John let his head fall back against the headrest. “Oh not another one of your romantic sitcoms.”

“Yup. Think you can be back here by then?”

“Yeah. I have to go run an errand at 6 but I’ll be done by the time you get off.”

Katie stepped back toward the car, her brows raised with interest. “What kind of errand?”

John was visibly biting down on a smile, but it broke through anyway. “You’ll just have to wait and see tonight.”

“Ooh, a surprise?”

A door to the hospital opened and a slender old man with thinning hair stepped halfway through it. “Katie! Just because you’re in the parking lot doesn’t mean you aren’t late. Let’s go,” he said.

Katie sighed. “Okay, I’ll see you tonight. Be safe. I love you.”

“I love you too.” John began driving off but stopped and kept his eyes on Katie until she passed through those double glass doors and left his sight.

Katie’s work shift passed in the same way it usually did. Anytime work slowed, she found her restless little fingers grabbing at her phone to check the time. And to see if he’d sent her a message. No matter how hard she tried, her thoughts were always steering toward John. She wondered what he may be doing and if he was thinking of her too. But thinking of him only made the day go by slower, so she kept herself busy—a task that was like holding her breath for four more hours.

Finally, at 6:30 p.m., Katie gave in and sent John a text message:

So excited for 2nite. Can ’ t stop thinking about it!

Promptly, her screen lit up:

Me too. I hope you like it tho