Ira Heinichen's Blog, page 100

Day 3,401: So Handsome

A quick entry tonight because it’s late and I still need to get my ass up and write in the morning…but solid, solid day. I got my shit done! Whew. Tomorrow, we have a lot of prep to do for our termite treatment over the weekend, but we should be able to do it all.

Disneyland over the weekend. With Ashika. She’s turning 3. It’s going to be GLORIOUS.

Night night.

Day 3,400: Progress

I was productive as fuck today. Truly. Handled all my shit. I have a rough outline for my next book, and I really think I can write it by the time we go on our intense travel. Really do.

It’s past bed time, so I’m just going to leave it at that. Night night.

Day 3,399: Better…

I had a solid writing day today. Not spectacular, but not failure either. It was solid. The ideas for the next book are good ones. They’re ideas I want to write.

It’s funny, I kind of randomly picked up the last draft I did of Escape From Red Tower, which is my follow-up book to Starstuff. Funny in that just leafing through that draft—yes, it was printed—I could instantly see/remember what parts of that story work, and which ones don’t. It was a refreshing feeling. Clarity. Confidence. If it’...

Day 3,398: So Busy…

I feel like I have so much to do, man. And I do. It’s not just a feeling.

I handled my stuff today, though, at least. I got done everything I needed to get done. Part of it is that I need to be getting my Netflix work done during the actual workweek. I need to stop leaving stuff to finish over the weekend. That’s a big one.

The other part of it is that I need to get my writing done during that same workweek. Have to. I know Coco’s passing really threw me off, and I’m going to give space fo...

Day 3,397: Joy’s First Rave

Feeling very grateful for our friends tonight.

The Clements dropped by some goodies and hung out for a few minutes. And we spent the afternoon having a late lunch/early dinner with Liz and Ali. Our dining room table is covered right now with flowers and cards and thoughtful gifts from other family members and friends. All offering their love and condolences for Coco. It’s really…wonderful. It helps, it really does, seeing and feeling that outpouring of support and sympathy. Makes me feel less...

Day 3,396: Late!

Tis late. Podcasted with Josh. We didn’t actually get to watch the film we were supposed to because it’s not actually available to rent or buy anywhere digitally. How crazy is that?! So…we recorded the rest of our stuff anyway and hung out. Watched an episode of Deep Space Nine. It was glorious.

Now…bed time. Night night.

Day 3,395: So-so

A so-so day.

I didn’t have a full-on panic/grief-attack today. It did come, but it was more subdued. And I got incredibly tired in the afternoon and had to take a nap.

We had a little bit of a rough night. Didn’t get great sleep. Woke up several times because of some noises. But, not too bad. Noises we can get used to. And they shouldn’t last forever.

Need to finish the finances tomorrow. Have to. Gonna get on that early. That’s the plan. I did, however, pay off all our bills, including...

Day 3,394: Thump Thump

Had a solid day today. The most solid day I’ve had…well, I guess not that long, but it FEELS like so much longer.

No writing this morning. Sigh. But, Netflix work was great. Helped Liz with a really good audition. We had lunch together almost like normal. It’s…getting better. Slowly but surely.

Still a hard day. We said goodbye to Coco exactly a week ago. Just wrecked that day. I remember it vividly. Her crying. How she felt when I held her. The sadness of everyone in the hospital. It was ...

Day 3,393: My Valentine

We spent Valentine’s day with the Kings, sharing some joy. It was perfect.

Otherwise…I worked. Had a panic/sadness attack come around 3pm, but it subsided. My thought of the day on grief is that it’s uncontrollable. It just comes. My brain has absolutely no control over it, I just have to ride the wave. Somehow, that’s actually a little bit comforting. It means I’m not doing anything wrong. It is what it is no matter what I do.

I love you so much, Bear. You are my greatest joy. This is our...

Day 3,392: What is time?

Time is a slippery thing. It’s giving me mind whiplash today.

A week ago was my last “normal” morning with Coco. She’d had trouble sleeping the night before. I was worried. But, we woke up that morning and she was happy to see me. A stretch in bed, a little of her favorite move—the wiggle worm—and then running into my arms when I gestured her to and we went out to potty, made breakfast, she ate it all up, and then I took her back to bed for “second sleep.”

It seems like years ago, and it s...