Andy Zach's Blog: The Unlikely life of Andy Zach, page 3

12 Days of Christmas, Zombie Turkey Style

What is 'Christmas, Zombie Turkey Style'? How do Zombie Turkeys celebrate the 12 days of Christmas?

Christmas Zombie Turkeys Style

Regardless of what you've imagined or dreamt about celebrating Christmas with zombie turkeys, it's far, far more. Let's begin at the beginning.

Christmas, Zombie Turkey Style - It Starts NOW

That's right, today. To every newsletter subscriber I'll send out the chance to get a free book, every day, for twelve days, from December 25th to January 5th.  Here's the start of the Wikipedia article:

The Twelve Days of Christmas, also known as Twelvetide, is a festive Christian season celebrating the Nativity of Jesus. In most Western ecclesiastical traditions, "ChristmasDay" is considered the "First Day of Christmas" and the Twelve Days are 25 December – 5 January, inclusive.[1]

"But wait, Andy!" you say, "How does it start now?"

Thanks for asking! Because YOU have to prepare to receive the gifts from me. You see, I'm offering these books to new newsletter subscribers and people who get new subscribers.

Christmas, Zombie Turkey Style - How You and Your Friends Get Free Books

Zombie Turkeys in Shedd Aquarium. Click to get audiobook

 

First, if you're not yet a newsletter subscriber, subscribe here. You'll also get a free story!

Every new newsletter subscriber gets entered into this twelve day drawing for the twelve ebooks I'll give away. Your choice.

Life After Life Chronicles available as a series! Click to get!

But that's not all!

Christmas, Zombie Turkey Style -What's in it for existing subscribers?

The second way to get your name in my golden turkey list of gifts is to get your friends and family to subscribe to the newsletter. After they subscribe, send me their emails and you'll get an entry for each new subscriber. This is actually a better deal for my faithful fans, for there is no limit to the number of entries you can get.

But wait--there's more!

 

Christmas, Zombie Turkey Style -The Third Way to Win

Let's face it: the best gift you can give me is a book review. For any book of mine. You can write it on either Amazon or on Goodreads.

Then, afterward, just send me a note through my contact page here or email jms61614-andyzach@yahoo.com. Tell me where you wrote the review, your email, and which ebook of mine you want: Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, or Paranormal Privateers.

My Undead Mother-in-law front cover. Click to get! Paranormal Privateers front small Click to get your copy!

All of this is in addition to my monthly drawings for two free books, one paperback or ebook, the other audiobook for subscribers.

Christmas, Zombie Turkey Style -Start Now!

Reviews, new subscribers, new subscriptions--on your mark, get set, go!

5 Story Ideas for #Authors from the Internet by Andy Zach

5 Story Ideas for Authors from the Internet by Andy Zach
A malabar squirrel from India. Truly a squirrel of a different color. Links to another squirrel. Also a story idea.

5 Story Ideas from the Internet. Where do you think authors get their ideas from?  Everyday life is a good source and that includes odd internet sightings. Here I pick my 5 Story Ideas and share them with you. If you love one or another, let me know and I'll write a story and post it on my blog. Or if you write a story, I'll post it here and give you the credit. In either case, I'll give you your choice of an ebook!

Andy Zach's three novels in his Life After Life Chronicles, the comic paranormal animal zombie saga.
The First of 5 Story Ideas - Put Another Planet Around the Earth
Check out this first video:




How would you write the story? Let me know.

I'd start with the new planet replacing the Moon without explanation. The explanation can be a mystery to be solved. I'd show the effects, good and bad, from the planet. What would be bad? Look up 'tidal effects around the Solar System' to see how bad.
The Second of 5 Story Ideas - Put Another Planet Around the Earth
The next video is more down to earth--with the unearthly substance, plasma.



How would you write a story about plasma in a syringe?

I would make a commercial plasma dispenser, i.e. a plasma gun. Nothing like a multi-thousand degree electrical discharge to discourage attackers!

Tell me your ideas.
5 Story Ideas: The Third Idea: Invisibility!
Invisibility has been done before, from HG Wells to Harry Potter. Did you know we're getting closer to technology that delivers invisibility?

For those of you who want video, here's a clip from 'The Invisible Man'.


How would you write a story about invisibility?

Part of the decision is how the invisibility achieved. Is it a field around you, like the invisibility cloak in Harry Potter? Or is it a potion you drink?

Personally, I prefer an invisibility field. I can think of more uses. How about you?

Give me your ideas.
5 Story Ideas: The Fourth Idea: Landing On Other Planets!
Did you see this story? We've landed on Mars--again!


We've landed landers on Mars, the Moon, asteroids, and a comet. Then we've also crashed probes into Venus and Saturn, and soon, Jupiter. Where would you like to go? Where would you like to land? What would make the best story?

We already have many stories about landing on Mars--how about terraforming it? Or landing on Venus--our hottest planet?

Let me know what you think. You can contact me here.
5 Story Ideas: The Last Idea: Space Tourism
With vistas like this, who wouldn't want to go into outer space?



Where would you want to go? Earth orbit, like the above photograph from the ISS? The Moon? Mars? Mercury? Venus?

I'd like to write a story like Heinlein's 'Between Planets' or 'Podkayne of Mars', where he has interplanetary cruise ships. Is that something you'd like to read?

What ideas do you have?

Send me your ideas and get an ebook.

If you like this blog post and don't want to miss any, you can subscribe to my newsletter here.

My post is here:
https://www.andyzach.net/5-story-ideas/

A Zombie Turkeys Thanksgiving to You--Say What?

What do I mean by "A Zombie Turkeys Thanksgiving to You"?

Click on the Zombie Turkeys book cover to read a free excerpt.

 

 

 

 

 

First, I want you to be as happy as a zombie turkey on Thanksgiving. How happy is that? They can't be killed by ax or gun to start with. Check this out.



Next, zombie turkeys get into places for free, like Navy Pier in Chicago. The back cover is a picture of the stairs up to the Shakespearean theatre at Navy Pier.

Zombie Turkeys Back Cover - click to get a copy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Shedd Aquarium, next to Navy Pier in Chicago. The zombie turkeys got in there too.

Zombie Turkeys Chapter 11 Icon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fourthly, zombie turkeys get into Soldier Field for the Thanksgiving Day football game for free. Listen to me read this dramatic scene in the video below.

Finally, zombie turkeys get to have a scene with the President. You'll have to read it in the book. But you can get an ebook for .99 (free, if you're on Kindle Unlimited).

Or you can get it for free on Audible, if you sign up for the free trial.

You can also win a free copy by signing up for my newsletter on this site or at my Mailchimp page.

You have a lot to be thankful for, just like Zombie Turkeys.
How Will You Spend A Zombie Turkeys Thanksgiving?
Reply and let me know. Put a comment below or email me. I'll give a free ebook for the best comment!

As for me, I'll spend the day eating turkey with my family, my nephew and his family and my mother-in-law. Say, did you know I wrote My Undead Mother-in-law while she was living with us?

My Undead Mother-in-law front cover. Click to get for free!

Further, did you know my mother-in-law is still living with us? And that I dedicated the book to her?

Here's the dedication:

To my mother-in-law, Barbara Beyer, who lived with us as I wrote this book. You're not a zombie, but you're almost as unusual.

 

 

 
Finally, What Will You Do After Thanksgiving?
Me, I'm going to Chambana Con!  This 'relaxacon', relaxed book convention just suits me. You can get my books, Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, and Paranormal Privateers there for discount prices of $10, $10, and $14, or all three for $30! Compare that with Amazon.

Andy Zach and Brenda Sutton at Chambanacon
Guest of Honor
Eric Flint
Golden Guest of Honor
Gene Wolfe
Also Appearing at ChamBanaCon

Author and long-time Chambanacon attendee Glen Cook
The Never-Ending Filk Panel moderated by Bill Roper, Bill Sutton and our Leerless Feeder Brenda.
Martial Artist Randy Pardue
Glass Artisan Extraordinare Steve Scherer
Our own T-Shirt Maven, Logo Artist, and all-around Really Cool Dude Ray Vantilberg
Author Andy Zach

How To Prepare Yourself Financially For The Zombie Apocalypse

I'm happy as a zombie in a meat market to introduce my fellow blogger and zombie enthusiast, Michael Dinich. He wrote this scintillating guest blog post: "How to Prepare Yourself Financially for the Zombie Apocalypse". Enjoy and learn!

Zombie Lady: Prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse

Hello Zombie Turkeys Fans.

I am Michael ‘AKA” Your Money Geek, and today I am going to share with you how to prepare financially for the Zombie Apocalypse. Why I am, I uniquely qualified to guide your dollars in preparation of Armageddon? Well, I have 20 years' experience in the personal finance industry, and I am a money blogger.

In my 20 years of professional experience, I have helped clients navigate various financial disasters successfully. While I have no direct experience dealing with Zombie uprisings, I am a money blogger, and let's be honest, when has a lack of real-world experience ever stopped a blogger form sharing their opinion?

I am however a 30+ year student of the Zombie genre, having cut my teeth on the Night of The Living Dead (1968) as a child. I was immediately enthralled and terrified, having realized the biggest threat to our survival was most likely Zombies. (Isn’t that the reason we all watch and read zombie martial? To ensure our survival)

Here is what you need to know to prepare your finances for the Z Poc.




Estate Planning


Andy Zach's Tombstone - He's prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse

Estate planning even in the best of times is a topic people generally do not enjoy discussing. Planning for the disposition of one’s life work isn’t nearly a fun as other planning opportunities. However, death business is a big business, and when a little bit of money is involved you better watch out.

Don’t think Zombies are real?

Wait until a loved one passes away with a few pennies and undefined estate planning, you find all kinds of people who were “dead to you” returning to life.

It's essential that you spend some time putting together proper estate planning to direct and control the distribution of your life's work, and don't forget to include digital assets like such as iTunes, Google Play, or photo storage accounts.

Now that Z Nation has introduced post-mortem talker’s estate planning will pose new challenges. It's unclear what legal ramifications of "Dad" are contesting his own will may have. However, you can save yourself a lot of work, heartache and ensure the rest of the family doesn't get to have to say in the finances by having proper estate planning documents such as a Living Trust, Living Will, and Powers of Attorney.

Note: you may want to consult with a paranormal attorney for an unliving will and health care documents. You do not want the courts making your post-mortem healthcare decisions if you are not able to speak on your own behalf. 




Taxes




The zombie genre has taught me one thing: it’s not the Zombies what will make the apocalypse suck, it’s the living.   

I’m not sure what the government has planned in the way of a “designated survivor” however I am confident it is a tax collector, and his or he first will be to reestablish tax collection. Let's face it, rebuilding society post-apocalypse will be expensive, and the government will be looking for you to foot the bill.

After the bombing of Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt proposed a tax rate as high as 100%. We never saw his 100% but the lowest tax rate was doubled, and the highest rate reached a high of 94%.  I imagine people working to see the government take 94% of their wages felt like the living dead.

Tax rates are historically low, now may be an excellent opportunity to engage in tax planning. Who knows what disaster we may be on the hook for financially in the future; wildfires, wars, brain-munching zombies.

While taxes are low, it may make sense to consider converting a portion of traditional retirement to a Roth IRA. Also, the new tax bill has made some tax credits refundable, if you are still saving up for retirement or the Z Poc, it may sense to reconsider if you should be funding a Roth or a Traditional IRA.

The Child Tax Credit is refundable to 1400 per child in 2018, that's mostly free money from the government to pay down debt, save for retirement, or stock up on MRE's (Meal Ready to Eat) to survive the societal collapse.
Taxes Part Two
Tip: if you have children make sure you keep an eye on them. Last thing the survivors of the Z Poc need is a bunch of “Carl’s” running around unsupervised. 




Side Hustle


Zombie Apocalypse Side Hustle - zombies working as privateers

The side hustle or side business is one of the best tools to protect yourself from unlikely events like having your hours cut at work, layoffs, or economic downturns. The Zombie apocalypse is where the side hustle really shines. The means of production to create a product or service of value is the ultimate safety net and security against disaster.

The King of side hustles has to be the hobby farm, self-sufficiency is the fastest path to financial freedom. As every product that you can make or create at home saves you money that you do not need to go out an earn or create.  Reducing expenses means you can keep more of your income, and that you will need to have less money saved to retire.

If retiring sooner and saving more is not a compelling enough reason to start your own hobby farm; consider that many of the items, you can produce at home are very inflation sensitive. Having your own hobby farm where you generate most of your own food means that you don't have to worry about rising food prices wrecking your FIRE (Financial Independent Retire Early) dreams.

Postwar economies tend to see higher levels of inflation, during World War 2 and the following years we saw inflation rates more than double historical norms. We have no idea what kind if any inflation World War Z will bring, of course. The ability to make your own food is a risk-free hedge against rising food prices, worst case scenario food prices stagnate, and you eliminated your food budget.
Side Hustle Part Two
All I know is in a land of face munching Zombies, no running water, no toilet paper and boarded up Piggly Wigglies the person growing their own soap and selling sponges on a stick will be king.
Andy Zach interrupts this guest blog
Piggly Wiggly? Check this out Zombie Turkeys excerpt!




Energy Independence


 

One of the best investments you can make is investing in your own energy independence. The price of solar panels has plummeted. Now the cost of producing your own power is lower in many areas that buying from the utilities. If you want to be able to keep reading excellent websites like Your Money Geek post-Z Poc, then you can't rely on the grid.

Besides powering your home and saving you some money on your utility costs, producing your own power means you do not have to worry about the power going out due to severe weather. I realize the last thing on a Zombie preppers mind is flooding, snow, and windstorms. However, its been known to happen and going solar, or at least having a backup generator insures in the extraordinary event power goes out you don't freeze in your home or lose the contents of your fridge or freezer.

If you need more convincing of the economic benefits of going solar. Having the means of producing your own power means you can electrify your fence and protect your property and provisions from zombies.

Lastly, installing renewable energy may qualify for a Federal tax credit, and if you have your own business depreciation. The tax incentives could be used to convert your taxable retirement accounts to Roth IRA's.  How often do you get to help the environment, prepare for the Z Poc, and have Uncle Sam pay for a big chunk of it?

Bonus. Nothing says you don’t want to buy stretchy pants, essential oils, or other MLM products like surrounding your property with a ten-foot-tall electrified fence.

 
Conclusion
Zombie corgi in Scotland - Zombie Apocalypse in My Undead Mother-in-law.

We don't know when or where the zombie uprising will hit, however following these four tips will ensure when the dead reanimate your will be prepared. If we do not ever experience a dead uprising following these tips will help save you some money and ensure you are ready for other financial disasters.

 
Author Bio
 

Michael Dinich is the founder of Your Money Geek, a personal finance blog that uses pop culture to make own finances fun and accessible.

 

Enter your comments and questions for Michael below this post, or click here.

3 Tax Tips For Authors Business Owners and Side Hustlers From Zombie Turkeys

Here's a blog post I wrote for Michael Dinich's blog, "3 Tax Tips For Authors, Business Owners And Side Hustlers From Zombie Turkeys".

Enjoy!
3 Tax Tips from Zombie Turkeys For Authors Business Owners
Zombie Lady Maximizing Tax Returns

More precisely, 3 Tax Tips from the author of Zombie Turkeys, the comic paranormal animal adventure. Turkeys, even zombie turkeys, are good at gobbling, not at taxes. So I, author Andy Zach, must step in for my paranormal animal friends.

I don't know about you, but I start my taxes in December, finish in January, and file in February. Yes, I know that's early, but since I usually plan to get a refund, I want to get my money as soon as possible. Since this is my third year as an author, but my fortieth year filing my own taxes (you do the math!) I thought I'd share what works for me as an author: 3 Tax Tips From Zombie Turkeys.

Public Domain 1040 image
Objections?
What??? You don't care? You're not an author? Well, do you pay taxes? If you do, you still might find this post useful. Otherwise, go read Zombie Turkeys!

Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a copy!

You wonder why you should listen to the foremost paranormal animal author of comic urban fantasy, instead of say, your tax advisor? Good question! If you have a tax advisor, great! Listen to him or her. But, if you're running on a shoestring budget, like me, and you're cheap, like me, and want to do it yourself, then read on! Or maybe you're the artistic type and you hate taxes and numbers.

No worry! What I will cover doesn't involve numbers at all! It's just the best practices I have found over thirty years of tax filing, plus four years as a Management Science major, plus three years of training for my MBA. Finally, plus two years as a published author. Also, later on I give you a free spreadsheet to track your book numbers, the same one I use for Zombie Turkeys.
My Attitude Toward Taxes
Authors Business Owners - Play the tax game and win $ - Monopoly public domain

 

Perhaps you view taxes and filing for taxes as slightly worse than death. Here's a different approach: treat it as a game, like Monopoly! You go from step to step on your tax form, make sure you fulfill all the requirements, and try to keep as much of your money as possible. If you have money coming back at the end, you win!
Ass-umption
First of all, I'm assuming that you're using IRS Form 1040 throughout, since you're an author and you're running a business. These steps also apply if you're not an author or businessman. If you use the 1040 short form or the EZ form, the tips work, but you'll need less of this information. Just follow the IRS instructions for these shorter, simpler forms then review the steps below and pick up what you need.
Authors Business Owners Tip 1: Get all your income documentation
This includes:

All your W-2 forms. These forms document your income. Everyone you work for must give you one of these by January 31st of the following year.
All your interest statements (IRS Form 1099-INT) from all the banks or credit unions where you had any money at any time during the year.
All your business income receipts for the year. You're an author. You've sold books. Track every sale, the price, and the discount off retail.
All your dividend statements from all your stocks your received during the year. (IRS Form 1099-DIV) This may also include insurance companies and credit unions who sometimes give dividends to their depositors.
Any retirement payments from your IRA. (IRS Form 1099G) Yep, they're counted as income, unless you've already paid taxes on them (Roth IRA). Also include any Social Security income you receive. That may be taxable. If you don't know for sure, talk to a tax advisor.
Any unemployment payments you received during the year. This is illogical; why would one part of the government give you money and another take it away? But taxes have nothing to do with logic.
Your state income tax refund from the previous year. I know this sucks. But the Federal government taxes the tax refund as income.

Authors Business Owners Tip 2: Get All Your Expenses and Gifts
This includes:

All your charitable contributions:  cash, credit/debit card receipts
Any physical gifts receipts
Include all your business expenses. Get all your credit card statements, all your checking account withdrawals, all your Paypal statements. This is a good place to note that your business should have its own bank account, checking account, credit cards, and Paypal account. You might also want to go through your business emails looking for any reference to cash. Why devote so much effort? Every dollar of expense you find reduces your income and your taxes.
Don't forget all your tax receipts. This includes all state and local income taxes, all sales taxes or all property taxes. The Federal Government allow you to pick one or the other as a deduction. Pick the larger amount.
Finally, collect all your medical expenses. If you're a Corporation Sole, like I am, then your medical expenses count. Perhaps you're an LLC or a corporation. In this case you should have recorded your business medical expenses. If this is confusing, skip it and talk to a tax advisor.

Authors Business Owners Tip 3: Get a Good Tax Program
Now that you have all your documentation, use an online tax program like Turbo Tax or TaxAct and follow their instructions step-by-step until the end. I've used both Turbo Tax and Tax Act, so I know they're good. I'm sure there are other good tax programs online. Do a search and check recommendations.

I had you get all the documentation first, because you produce that all year. You need to start at the beginning of the year and collect it all year. We have a simple file folder called "2018 Taxes" and put in documentation all year. Do it.

For my author business, I have email folders for expenses and revenue. I also have paper folders for each. I record all my expenses and book revenues in my Excel spreadsheet. If you'd like a copy, send me a request. I'll send you a copy free.
You're All Done! Except for . . .
Double and triple checking your numbers. I ensure that I've captured every expense and every piece of income. If you miss an expense, your taxes go up. If you miss an item of income, you can go to prison or be penalized for your missing income taxes, plus ten percent.

I go through each paper receipt, income or expense, twice. The second time I ensure the number is correctly entered in the tax program and if it is, I check the paper.

Electronically, I go through my business income and expenses and ensure the net income or loss on my spreadsheet matches that of the tax program. If not, I review the income and expense entries until I find the error.

Finally, I also count all my book copies so that my physical inventory matches my reported inventory. If it doesn't, I review my sales and purchases until I find my error.

I just did this for Zombie Turkeys and I was tickled when the income/loss and book totals matched.

That's all for 3 Tax Tips from Zombie Turkeys! This is author Andy Zach, signing off.

Andy Zach, the foremost comic paranormal animal author in the comic urban fantasy genre.

Andy Zach Author photo
LEGAL DISCLAIMER FOR For Authors Business Owners
"Any tax-related opinions in any part of this document or website (including any links) are not tax advice. The above is a general explanation of tax law and should not be relied upon for your individual circumstances. Tax advice cannot be provided on a general basis, and must be specifically tailored for each individual by his or her particular representative. Any user of this website should seek the advice of a competent, independent tax professional regarding that user’s particular circumstances.

In addition, any tax advice given herein (and in any attachments) is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, by any taxpayer for the purpose of (i) avoiding tax penalties or (ii) promoting, marketing, or recommending to another party any transaction or matter addressed therein."

Review of 2 Chronicles

The World English Bible (WEB): 2 Chronicles by Anonymous

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


2 Chronicles is a tragedy of the decline and fall of Israel, seen from the line of the Judean kings.

It begins with the joyous reign of Solomon and ends with the destruction of the temple and captivity in Babylon.

Along the way are heroes and villains, godly men and apostates, prophets and renegades. Regicides and suicides occur, as well as repentance of kings of the nation of Judah, but all collapses in the end in endless sin, materialism, and political corruption.

Yet, the last verse records the release of the last remaining Judean king from captivity in Babylon. A spark of hope remains.




View all my reviews

Andy Zach's Penned Con Report - Plus Free Books

Here's Andy Zach's Penned Con Report - Plus Free Books. Enjoy! Ask questions! Get your books.

 

My Undead Mother-in-law front cover. Click to get for free!

And other free books are on the linked page too.
Andy Zach's Penned Con Report - Day 1
Thursday, September 20, my assistant Tori Smith and I arrived at the Red Lion hotel in City Center block of St. Louis. The hotel is a repurposed block of downtown St. Louis, complete with three thirteen-story atriums. The Penned Con convention resided on the lucky thirteenth floor. Gander at these pictures from the outdoor lounge:



View from 13th floor of Red Lion hotel in St. Louis, looking toward Busch Stadium.

Here's my assistant, Tori Smith in the lounge:

Tori Smith on the 13th floor lounge of the Red Lion

And here's a picture of my fellow author Bess Sturgis:

Author Bess Sturgis enjoying lunch.

But wait! There's more!
Penned Con Report - Opening Mystery Party
The mystery party was a rather clever author and reader mixer. We were randomly put into groups to solve a murder mystery, while dressed in garb of the 1920s. How random? We selected our desired time, and the 10-15 people in the 5-minute time slots between 8 PM and 10 PM got put together.

Here's a picture of our 9:55 group:

Andy Zach, (far left, as in out to left field), with other authors and readers.

You may be happy to know we solved the mystery. We reviewed five scenes and interviewed five characters and it wasn't the butler.
Penned Con Report - Day 2 - Selling Books
After all, we authors LOVE to get our books into the hands of readers.  We even give them away. (See above).

Now, to the right from my table:

Looking to the right of Andy's table
Then, looking to the left of Andy's table:

The left side of Andy's table.

Next, from the front of the table:

The front of Andy's table.

Finally, my table itself, adorned with my lovely assistant, Tori Smith:

Andy Zach's table with his lovely assistant, Tori Smith
The Elevator Adventure
You may ask, "Is this like Willy Wonka's glass elevator?" Don't I wish! No, the hotel had a bank of three elevators and one hundred and thirty five authors and eight hundred and ninety readers all wanting to get to the thirteenth floor at once. Every day. At the same time.

The adventure begins with one elevator permanently dead.  Oopsie.

To the hotel's credit, everyone had wonderful positive attitudes and they all worked to solve the problem. They led herds of authors (is that the right collective noun?) to the freight elevator to circumvent the constriction.

They put one elevator on manual and had an employee run it. That's how Tori made a Pokemon game friend:

Tori and elevator operator Dennis unite for Pokemon.
Day 3 - The Big Dinner
Once more, Tori and I dressed in 20s mufti for the awards dinner.

Tori and Andy dressed to the 9s--1929.
We had a scrumptious meal and heard from the head of the Autism foundation. Penned Con gives to that worthy cause. Then the awards came out. I don't know who won, because we went to bed.

The next day, we drove home to Peoria.
One More Thing - Zombie Turkeys on Sale for .99!
Your favorite comic paranormal animal story is right here, right now for .99!

Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a copy!

 

 

Andy Zach Cruises the Internet and Gives Stuff Away

Zombie TurkeysMy Undead Mother-in-lawParanormal Privateers Andy Zach Cruises the Internet and Gives Stuff Away
This is one of those posts where you will laugh and get free stuff. How? Andy Zach Cruises the Internet--that's how I find funny stuff.

But what about the free stuff? I'm in touch with a lot of authors and I find free stuff on the internet. Let's start with the funny things.
Andy Zach Cruises the Internet--the First Funny
How about Thor: Rangarok set to ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'?

Thor: Rangarok but instead of Immigrant Song it's Dancing Queen by Abba pic.twitter.com/VB69PNl2il

— jazmin 🌨 (@thorsbanners) August 8, 2018

If this isn't funny enough for you, post something funnier in this blog's comments or send it to me. I'll give a free ebook to the funniest link I get.
Andy Zach Cruises the Internet--the First Freebie
How about a free newsletter from me? How about a free book? I've got these:

Andy Zach's three novels in his Life After Life Chronicles, the comic paranormal animal zombie saga.

I hold one drawing every month for my newsletter subscribers. Join now!
Your Next Funny
Did you like Thor: Rogarnok set to ABBA? How about Captain America Winter Soldier?

a tumblr user set the fight scene in winter soldier to abba and there is truly no dignified way to tell you all i almost wet my pants laughing https://t.co/vC8QVO3Pl7

— emma lord (@dilemmalord) July 3, 2018

Your Next Freebie
Okay, maybe you don't like books. How about audiobooks?

Listen to a free sample of Zombie Turkeys by clicking here:

Zombie Turkeys audiobook cover. Click to get!

Or listen to My Undead Mother-in-law here:

 



My Undead Mother-in-law audiobook cover. Click to get yours!

If the vocal actors Phil Blechman and Raven Perez portraying my wacky characters appeal to you, then get on the newsletter mailing list. I have a monthly drawing for a free audiobook, including the end of this month.
The Last Funny Bit

The Last Freebie
One of my author friends, Rik Ty is giving away free stories. Grab yours while you can!

Click here to get them!



And now, here's some free nostalgia:

One More Thing
I love Weird Al Yankovic! Who else can out bizarre Lady Gaga?

Original post here: https://www.andyzach.net/andy-zach-cr...

Get 3 Great Writing Tips from Zombie Turkeys Author Andy Zach

Do you want to Get 3 Great Writing Tips from Zombie Turkeys Author Andy Zach? They're coming!  But first, have a laugh, courtesy of Andy's favorite, Weird Al Yankovich!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssa1E...
Get 3 Great Writing Tips - Your First Tip
Have you heard of the Three Act Story Structure? How about the nine plot points? It's foundational to most movies and plays and books. First invented by Aristotle, this article delves into it:
https://www.facebook.com/AndyZachAuth...
There are many variations on this theme, but if you think about it, every story has a beginning, middle, and end. Your story usually climaxes after the middle, or at the end of the second act of the play, and then the results of the action happen.
Intermission in Get 3 Great Writing Tips
Will we be dominated by robots in the future? Comment on this post or drop me a line, after watching this video.
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And now on to the next tip.
Get 3 Great Writing Tips - Your Second Tip
Now you've got some idea about story structure, tell me about your favorite characters. Tell me about either characters you've created or your favorite fictional characters of all time. Then tell me what motivated them. Character motivation is what the next tip is all about.

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Next, a Squirrel of a Different Color
A malabar squirrel from India. Truly a squirrel of a different color. Links to another squirrel.

 
The rest of the post here:
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Fan Comments and Free Books

Fan Comments and Free Books
Chipmunks celebrating. They're key characters in 'My Undead Mother-in-law'. Click to learn more.

I want YOU to enjoy my Fan Comments.  Some are from email, some from Goodreads, some from Amazon. and some from Facebook.

You'll enjoy the ones I picked out.

Are you jealous, that these fans are picked out for notoriety, and not you? Just contact me here and maybe next time I'll post your comment.

Or just reply to this post below.

Fan Comments -- Free Books Next
Everyone wants free books. Did you know I give away a free ebook or paperback EVERY month? I have a monthly drawing.

Did you know I give away a free AUDIOBOOK every month? I have a monthly drawing for that too.

How do you get in the drawings? Subscribe here, at my Mailchimp Landing page. But hurry! The next drawings are September 1st.

Speaking of landings, here's a good near-landing. Best comment or caption gets an ebook!

B-52 buzzing a carrier. Do you have a better caption?