Andy Zach's Blog: The Unlikely life of Andy Zach
March 27, 2025
Reading challenge: lagging behind
I've been watching too many videos and not doing enough reading. Plus, I've been reading books on Royal Road and Patreon and not getting credit for those, since they haven't been published yet.
Finally, I'm writing my first fantasy book and I'm almost done!
Those are stats and excuses.
How is your reading challenge going?
Andy Zach
January 1, 2024
Best 5 Books of the Year - of 158
Best 5 Books I've Read This Year - of 158. Yup, I read 158 books this year. Go to my Goodreads page to see them. Click here.
I won't put them in any order, other than chronological. My absolute favorite book I'll save for last.
Best 5 Books I've Read This Year - The First
Let's start with a fabulous fantasy novel. I have included my review for you.
Patricia McKillip practices her craft of writing fantasy at the highest level in this atmospheric depiction of a city, Ombria, rocked by the death of its regent, Royce. The mysterious and manipulative Black Dominia immediately orders his mistress, Lydea, out on the streets, presumably to die. Lydia, a beautiful former tavern wench, makes her way across the dangerous city at night to her father's tavern. A mysterious girl, Mag, helps her.
Mag was raised by a sorceress, Faye. Faye stays in the shadows of Ombria, content to sell her spells to the highest bidders--including the Black Dominia.
Ms. McKillip introduces more colorful characters, without explaining the magic they exercise at all. The complex political and magical mystery continues until the end when the mystery pops like a bubble.
This is a must-read for any fan of fantasy with vivid characters.
Best 5 Books I've Read This Year - The Second
We move from fabulous fantasy to funny fantasy. Or maybe, a fabulously funny fantasy that's famous?
Author 10 books93 followers
I re-read this book for the fourth time, the second time since I became an author, and I love it even more!
This is the first book in Terry Pratchett's Disk World series, so he sets up his magical system (magic is a color of light), his fantasy world (a flat world on the back of four elephants, standing on the back of a space turtle) and his characters (Rincewind, a magician with only one spell he can't use. Cowardly and good at running away) (Twoflower, a classic tourist, with limitless chest of gold, no fear, and endless curiosity), (The Luggage, a suitcase with legs, mage of sapient pearwood, invulnerable and clever). And those three are merely the protagonists.
I won't spoil any of the insane plot, but suffice it to say, that Pratchett satirizes nearly every fantasy trope and many conventions of our current culture.
This fourth time around, I was writing my own fantasy novel/series and I looked at how Pratchett started out his series. It was a ripping good start, with unending action and interesting characters from the beginning. Who doesn't like Death as an animated skeleton and a lugubrious voice?
Best 5 Books I've Read This Year - The Third
We come to my first favorite SciFi novel and it's a goody.
Review of On Basilisk Station
Author 10 books
93 followers
It's been six years since I last read this book. This is the third time I've read it and I enjoyed it just as much as ever.
Honor Harrington just got her first command of the light cruiser Fearless. She's 5 years younger than her executive officer Allistair McKeon and he hates her for it. But he's just the start of her problems.
The admiral in charge of new weapons has halved her missiles in exchange for a grav lance. It's a deadly weapon, but it only works at close range. Too bad the lightly armored cruiser is unlikely to survive any close-range encounters. Basically, the light cruiser is crippled, with only half of its offensive power.
Honor manages to use the grav lance once to destroy a superdreadnought in fleet practice maneuvers, but everyone then is out to destroy her. So the ship gets destroyed endlessly in fleet practice, depressing the crew.
Then the ship is assigned to the backwater of Basilisk Station. There the commanding officer, Pavel Young, was beaten up by Honor while they were in the Space Academy together because he tried to rape her. He had to apologize for sexual innuendo, but no one knew the full reason for his beating. He hates her guts.
Then he leaves her in charge of the entire station while he takes his ship to be repaired. It's too much for one light cruiser to fulfill all the responsibilities, so she's sure to fail and get a black mark on her record.
Only no one tells Honor that. This is where the story gets good.
Don't miss this book or the series.
Best 5 Books I've Read This Year - The Fourth
Now onto another genre: detective mystery!
Author 10 books
93 followers
Truly a 5-star mystery book! First, you have Lord Peter Wimsy, well-dressed, polite, knowledgable, with a wide streak of mischief and irreverance.
But he goes incognito, as Death Bredon, an aspiring copywriter for Pym's Advertising. Why? A man died falling down their iron spiral staircase. It's steep, with narrow, slippery stairs, so why is it a murder?
Death investigates not just the murder, but the whole office of gossipy ad writers, typists, and helpers. There are dozens of delicious characters for the reader to explore.
This mystery is still selling after 90 years should tell you it's really, really good. It's also a time capsule looking at England in between the wars.
Best 5 Books I've Read This Year - The Fifth
My fifth book is in yet another genre. And I'm cheating: it's not really a single book, but a collection of sixty-six books I've read all my life: The Bible.
Now, you may dislike or may be apathetic about the Bible, but I predict you may be entertained by my reviews. I treat each book in the Bible as a separate book and review them as I would a novel. Let me give you a few:
'Genesis' is Greek for beginning. It's translated from the first word of the Bible, bereshit in Hebrew, which means 'in the beginning'.
Genesis covers the beginning of time and the universe, of mankind, of marriage, and of good and evil. And that's just the first three chapters.
After Adam and Eve sinned, their story continues as mankind grows more and more evil, until the flood comes and God starts again with Noah's family, the ark, and the flood.
After the fresh start, guess what? Man sins again. This time God confuses their language at Babel, creating the multiplicity of languages we have today.
Is there any hope in all this evil? Yes, God promises to bless all mankind through Abraham and his family. Through him will come the Messiah Who will solve the problem of sin and evil and crush the devil's head.
But that's the rest of the Bible.
Another Favorite Book Within My Favorite
Psalms is one of my favorite books in the Bible. Read how I rave about it in my review:
Amazing. The Bible's books of psalms encompasses one hundred and fifty of the finest Hebrew poetry from 3,400 years ago to about 2,400 years. What's so great about Hebrew poetry? Imagery.
When I look unto the heavens, which thine Own fingers framed,
Unto the moon and to the stars, which were by thee ordained,
Then say I, "What is man that Thou, should be mindful of him?
Or what the Son of Man that Thou, so kind to Him should be?"
Psalm 8, from a hymn.
The book of Psalms is full of images and phrases that are part of the fabric of our society.
Consider the world-famous 23rd Psalm
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
My Favorite Continued
But beautiful imagery is not all. The Psalms are full of fulfilled prophecies, like Psalm 22 where you find six fulfilled prophecies in 18 verses:
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Jesus' words while on the cross)
Why are you so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?
2 My God, I cry in the daytime, but you don’t answer;
in the night season, and am not silent.
3 But you are holy,
you who inhabit the praises of Israel.
4 Our fathers trusted in you.
They trusted, and you delivered them.
5 They cried to you, and were delivered.
They trusted in you, and were not disappointed.
6 But I am a worm, and no man;
a reproach of men, and despised by the people.
More Fulfilled Prophecy Below
7 All those who see me mock me. (Verses 7-8 were fulfilled by those mocking Jesus on the cross)
They insult me with their lips. They shake their heads, saying,
8 “He trusts in Yahweh;
let him deliver him.
Let him rescue him, since he delights in him.”
9 But you brought me out of the womb. (Jesus being conceived and born of a virgin by a miracle)
You made me trust at my mother’s breasts.
10 I was thrown on you from my mother’s womb.
You are my God since my mother bore me.
11 Don’t be far from me, for trouble is near.
For there is no one to help.
12 Many bulls have surrounded me.
Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled me.
13 They open their mouths wide against me,
lions tearing prey and roaring.
14 I am poured out like water.
All my bones are out of joint.
My heart is like wax;
it is melted within me.
15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd.
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. (Jesus' words on the cross 'I thirst' prophesied)
You have brought me into the dust of death.
16 For dogs have surrounded me.
A company of evildoers have enclosed me.
They have pierced my hands and feet. (A prophecy of Jesus' crucifixion, before it was invented)
17 I can count all of my bones.
They look and stare at me.
18 They divide my garments among them. (A prophecy of Roman soldiers gambling over Jesus' clothing)
They cast lots for my clothing.
But you have to find out for yourself. Read the book of Psalms looking for imagery and prophecy, fulfilled and to be fulfilled. It'll transform your experience.
What Can Top The Best 5 Books?
Free gifts! I gave away literary gifts from December 1 to December 25 to celebrate Advent 2023. These include free books and free excerpts. Enjoy them below. Don't forget to get free audiobooks from me by clicking here.
Meet My Heroes from Secret Supers in Space
Advent Day 19 – Discounts and Free Books
Imagine You’re a Privateer. What Is It Like?
Advent Day 12 – Your New View of Zombie Turkeys!
Advent Days 6 through 11 – You can sample my other series
Advent Days 4 and 5 – Oops! My Mistake
What is Paranormal Privateers All About?
Advent 3 – My Undead Mother-in-law Free Excerpts
Advent Day 2 – You Can Get Your Free Copy of Zombie Turkeys!
Zombie Detective New Excerpt – Book on Sale!
October 21, 2022
My Sixth-year anniversary as a self-published author
Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a copy!
Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won't stay dead. You can shoot 'em, chop 'em, burn 'em—they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country. . .
From Zombie Turkeys' Blurb
So, what happened next? What happened before the publication?
In the beginning . . .
Caterpillar forcibly retired me in October 2015. I didn't want to rust on the pile of retirement, so I decided I would start writing a book. But I needed a topic. I wanted something light and funny.
We got a new turkey fryer and I tested it out. I brought in the fried turkey on a platter and said, "Imagine if this turkey came back to life!" Then someone said, "It'd be a zombie turkey."
A turkey who missed the free book offer. Click to get your free book.
"Eureka! That's it! That's my book! Zombie turkeys! A whole apocalypse of them. It'll be a parody of all zombie books ever written."
My Sixth-Year Anniversary - What Happened Next?
I wrote about 48,000 words in November in the book for NaNoWriMo. Then I finished it in December. Then I edited it: six times over until March. I decided I needed an editor--and got her, Dori Harrell.
Then I decided to learn about publishing. I read about six books. I also took a writing course at my alma mater, Bradley university. Who knew point-of-view was so important?
I created a project plan for self-publishing. Then I decided to publish through Amazon, since it was easier and cheaper.
I went back and forth with my editor about six times. The novel was ready to publish, with 54,000 words.
Oops! I forgot to get a cover illustration! I needed one done and it was July 2016.
The Making of the Zombie Turkeys Cover
Fortunately, I already wrote a blog post about this process. Click the title or here to read it.
A cover draft. Click to see more.
Oh, I forgot. I also worked with my illustrator Sean "Fuzzy" Flanagan on my chapter icons. Read about it here: How we Made Zombie Turkeys Chapter Icons.
My Sixth-Year Anniversary - Format Editing
Text formatting--so simple--NOT! Readers expect books to be formatted a certain way. If you break the rules--like not starting your book on the right-hand page--you look like a rank amateur.
Which I was. But I didn't want to look that way. I only got one chance to make a first impression. So I hired Rik Hall. He's fast. He's experienced. And he made my book in both paperback and ebook formats.
Finally I was ready. I uploaded my file to Amazon and ordered my proof copy. I set my launch date for October 31st, 2016 and ordered fifty paper copies.
My first copy. Click to get yours!
I was ready to launch. What happened next? Read my next blog to find out!
August 9, 2022
Memes Reviews, and Free Books
Memes, Reviews, and Free Books - all picked out by me, Andy Zach.
I thought, "What should I post?". What have I been reading? Books and of course, then I review them. I also have memes I've been seeing. Finally, I have free books to give to you.
Let's start with the free books: click here to get yours.
Memes, Reviews - Let's Begin Right Here
Isn't English a funny language? Let me know if you speak any other language than English and I'll give you a free book. Click here. Or, you can email me at andyzach@andyzach.net
Imagine watching your favorite news show with this feature. Would you watch more news?
My recent fantasy review:
Cover
Review of MELIK NIGHTCAT and THE ELVEN PRINCE: The Key Of Brundag (Kindle Edition) Rating 4 of 5 stars Shelves fantasy, humor, read, ya-fiction Format Kindle Edition Status August 3, 2022 – Shelved as: humor Review This was my first book by J Kirk Perry and it was an autographed first edition--and certainly worth it! I read it in one sitting last night.
Melik begins in an out-of-the-way farming village, entertaining the locals when an elven prince shows up and arrests him. The local Jarl wants him for something.
Melik can escape but gives his word not to. Also, he's dying to know how the elven prince, a rather stuck-up and superior mage, found him.
That doesn't get revealed until the end of the book. Meanwhile, the rambunctious, impulsive, and unconventional Melik, a thief and a mage and a secret agent for the Empress, goes on a wild series of adventures with the elvan prince: staid, conventional, and convinced of his own superiority.
Highly recommended to anyone who wants some good fantasy fun.
Memes, Reviews - More to Come
Star Trek dad joke
The cover of my third novel Paranormal Privateers. Click to get yours.
The most recent review follows:
Action, humor, refreshing zombies; Yes please!
Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2022
This series is the first I have read of Andy Zach's and I am glad I picked it up! The series continues with lots of action, characters continue to be developed, humor, and the zombies are still not mindless shells ambling around awaiting an axe to the head. Still a refreshing take on zombies as a whole. I look forward to what Andy writes next! Audio Version: Phil Blechman and Raven Perez do a great job with their respective characters and the overall narration.
Nemesis
The Memes Keep Coming At You!
Letter Rip
Send me a meme! Get a book by clicking here!
January 15, 2022
2021 Best Videos Found by Andy Zach
2021 Best Videos Found this year. I scan hundreds of videos every year. I send the very best to my newsletter subscribers. (Join here) Now I give you the best of the best.
Let's start with July 2021.
Hint: Jupiter is big
Begin With July
Why July? Twelve months of videos are too much for one blog. So I'll make two. This is the first half of the 2021 Best Videos.
We'll begin with this out-of-the-world video.
Jovian video
I'll link the newsletters that held these videos. So click right here to get July's.
And this is one person's favorite scene from 'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade':
Sean Connery
Do you like this kind of blog post? Let me know here. And you can see the newsletter here.
Your Best in August
Oh my, I totally forgot about this video. You have to see it.
CGP Grey researches Tiffany. Be Amazed!
Check out this newsletter here.
What's better than the world's best guitarist? The world's best with another great guitarist.
Tommy Emmanuel and Richard Smith
This video came from my August newsletter.
Best in September
I'll start you off with the famous British space suit designed in the 1940s. Never heard of it? It's got a walking stick.
And here you have more science fiction becoming science:
Straight from 1950s science fiction
Read the newsletter by clicking here. Subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.
Now in October
Will SpaceX Super Heavy be our first interplanetary rocket for humans?
And here's our first rocket to take a man to the moon. Or click here.
Here Comes November
Perhaps the most unbelievable video I've seen this year. Click to read the whole newsletter right here.
Landing in hurricane Dennis winds
The next video might be the funniest I've seen this year.
What happens when fonts have a conference?
You can read the whole newsletter here.
And Finally, December
What's more Christmasy than an eggnog riot? At West Point? By a future President?
This video falls into the History, Humor folders. It fits in the Unbelievable and Favorite categories too.
Check out the whole newsletter by clicking here or on the cover image below:
Cover of December 19, 2021 newsletter
Here's another favorite video:
An amazing machine--or is it a musical instrument?
You can see it in this newsletter. Click here.
Who's Listening to You?
December 5, 2021
Oops! Free Short Stories for You
Oops! Free Short Stories for You from my short story collection, Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse.
Oops! Click to get.
Let's start with a bang.
Free Short Stories - In A Pickle
So what do readers say? Here's a review coming up for you.
Editorial Reviews
"You'd think after three oddball novels, Zombie Turkeys (How an Unknown Blogger Fought Unkillable Turkeys), My Undead Mother-In-Law (The Family Zombie with Anger Management Issues), and Paranormal Privateers, that Andy Zach would have exhausted all the comic possibilities in his world of killer zombie turkeys and superhero zombie humans.
You'd be wrong. How about flying zombie pickles? Zombie zucchini? Zombie caterpillars? (How can you tell a zombie caterpillar from a normal one? Andy Zach can tell you.)
How about being injected with zombie blood which can cure any ill, regrow any lost limb, and be quickly cured with a widely available antidote? Who needs insurance with that sort of help? How about organizing a zombie worker union at Amazon when zombies can outperform robots? And suggest the story is based on two real people, Anthony and Ravan Jones who contribute the foreword to the book? Or zombie residents of a nursing home taking over the place?
--Dr. Wesley Britton at BookPleasures.com on Sept. 15, 2020:
Review continued
But all this silliness is just part of what Andy Zach has collected in Oops. He has included other short stories by other authors like "The Story of Sound" by Olivia Smith and his own "A Phoenix Tale" before diving into his zombie world. Then he offers a batch of stories based on his other book series featuring disabled middle-schoolers who become superheroes, the Secret Supers. Oh yea, there are the aliens who first appeared in Paranormal Privateers who are defeated by zombies working for the U.S. Government. The aliens can provide you legal assistance in the form of a sexy avatar who looks exactly like Marilyn Monroe.
If you're getting the impression that one Mr. Andy Zach has a wide and wild imagination, you are on the right track. One obvious audience for his quirky tales is the YA readership, especially for all the contemporary references like video gaming and computer lingo. But even grumpy old sixty-somethings like me can have a lot of fun with Andy's characters, scenarios, and plots. I'm still laughing at the image of migrating flying zombie pickles. Hard to get more original, unique, or surprising than Zach's "Life After Life" series. Have some fun with Andy Zach in 2020!"
--Dr. Wesley Britton at BookPleasures.com on Sept. 15, 2020:
Free Short Stories - The Butterfly Effect
The Butterfly Effect Click to read.
Do you want to write a review? Send it to me at andyzach@andyzach.net or click here. I'll send you a free Zombie Turkeys ebook!
Zombie Turkeys paperback cover. Click to get it!
Your Next Oops! Review
What do zuccini, phoenix genetics, and superpowered kids have in commom?
Reviewed in the United States on March 18, 2020
As I expected, story time at Andy's house must include a recorder to grasp the many directions and characters he delevolopes in each book. This set of several stories are exciting in a novel manner of disbelief overlaid with a tinge of possibility.
How many people have tasted a hummingbird zombie zuccini, a superpowered set of disabled kids with a intelligent hamster as co-partner, a phoenix genetic research specialist, all these under one cover? Well, step right up and open page one!
Each story includes an ideas from his zombie turkey series and as always a hint of something new to come!This was a free book and I am not connected to anyone involved. I laughed and soaked up the words wanting more.
Kindle Customer
Free Short Stories - A Dying Business
A Dying Business - Click to read
ZOMBIES ARE out there you will laugh your nutt off at how Funny they can be
Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2020
This book was a true page Turner from start to finish, 1 of those books you wish had more to read ,I must say look forward to a possible follow on !!
Glenn Marshall, Jr. U.S. NAVY Retired
Another Free Short Stories Review for You
Take some crazy and add a whole lot of zombies...
Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2020
Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse by Andy Zach is a collection of short stories and as the clue is in the title, the theme is zombies. And boy do they come in a variety of different shapes and sizes.
The book starts with three stories that are a starter and not in the zombie genre. Firstly, you are introduced to a world where nothing is heard. Then we move on to finding an elusive phoenix and trying to use its DNA for breeding. Lastly, we have a story about a time-travelling wheelchair.
Then we jump straight into zombies. From zombie pickles, to zombie service dog corgis, to zombie models and even zombies in a nursing home. There is a timeline thread running through the stories where characters that create something or meet someone bring them into a later story. And all of this in a world where becoming a zombie is as easy as ordering blood online!
Jacqui Corn-Uys
Review Continues Below
After each story, the author explains where he got his ideas from, and since in his bio he claims both his parents were zombies, he must be an expert on all things undead. The author has a very quick mind and some of the quips and plays on words were very clever.
In some of the stories, however, I would have preferred a definite ending—one where the story doesn’t just finish and you think there is more coming. It was almost as though they were ideas taken from diary extracts with sporadic glimpses into a world of zombies.
After the zombie stories came tales from some of his other books about teenage superheroes. I think the one I enjoyed the most was of the hamster that one of the kids had experimented on and had developed some superpowers. He taught himself to read and was eventually able to communicate with others by typing on a computer. The author very cleverly integrated himself into that story by being the author in the story and the one that the hamster contacted. And of course, we had to have a story about aliens to end it off.
Jacqui Corn-Uys
Your Final Story of Free Short Stories
This short story still comes from Oops!, like all the preceding ones.
We've Got It - Click to read!
And you get a review to go with it.
Great intro to the author's works
Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2020
This is a great book to start with if you haven’t tried any Andy Zach book before. It contains stories from both his Life After Life zombie comedy series and his superhero story Super Secrets. It also shows you Zach’s sense of humor (plus there’s one little horror story that isn’t overly gruesome). This book is great for both kids and adults and works just fine on it’s own.
I loved the silly story of the flying zombie cucumbers. Ha! Very fanciful. And they have migratory routes, like butterflies! Very silly and had me chuckling. I also loved the story with the hamster (who does play a role in Secret Supers). Perhaps rodents will truly save the world some day.
The stories also help fill in some of the blanks of the zombie comedy series, including one about Diane (the beloved zombie mother-in-law). But what I really liked was the stuff about genetic engineering and the aliens. Book 3 of the Life After Life Chronicles had a lot of stuff tossed into the story and some of these short stories really help fill those parts out.
All around, it’s a fun collection of tales. 5/5 stars.
DabOfDarkness
Audiobook Narration
The Narration: Michael Stafford was a good pick for narrating this anthology. While the Life After Life series and the Secret Supers use different narrators, Stafford was a good inbetween voice. He had unique voices for all the characters and his female voices sounded feminine. I also liked his kid voices for the Secret Supers kids. The pacing was good and there were no tech issues with the recording. 5/5 stars.
I received this audiobook as part of my participation in a blog tour with Audiobookworm Promotions. The tour is being sponsored by Andy Zach. The gifting of this audiobook did not affect my opinion of it.
DabOfDarkness
Do you like audiobooks? I have six of them and I give them away to you here. Click now.
October 6, 2021
Super Science Stories from September for You
Super Science Stories for you, selected by sensei Andy Zach from September's internet. Let's start with this super story.
https://www.facebook.com/AndyZachAuth...
How do you feel about bringing the wooly mammoth back to life? Some think we should work at saving our current elephant species around the world. Others think mammoths may upset the current ecosystem in the arctic.
As a long-time dinosaur and paleontological fan, I'd love it. But let me know what you think in a comment or by contacting me here. I'll give an ebook to each response
Super Science Stories Continued
https://www.popularmechanics.com/mili...
This is a valid question. The US military has explored airship designs for sixty years. They can go to the stratosphere, above all weather and be supplied by airplanes indefinitely.
Is this science, or science fiction, or throwback science to steampunk fiction? Let me know by a comment or replying to me here. Contact us by clicking here.
Breaking News from Peoria on September 30, 2021!
Yup, you've got it right: my latest novel is fully released as paperback and Kindle on Amazon. Of course, you can always get it at a discount, autographed, with free shipping from me by clicking right here.
If you can travel to Peoria tomorrow, you can see me at PeoriaCon at the Expo-Gardens. That's only a mile from my house in northern Peoria! Please tell me you'll be there and I'll give you a free book. Click here or on the above post to let me know. Or just tell me on Saturday.
What is science fiction? I agree with Robert Heinlein's definition below.
https://www.facebook.com/AndyZachAuth...
Look Out Below for More Science Stories
Is feasible fusion finally here?
https://www.facebook.com/AndyZachAuth...
Excuse my cynicism, but I've heard that fusion was right around the corner for at least fifty of my sixty-five years. When do you think it'll be here?
Next, you've got some October humor, timely and topical.
https://www.facebook.com/AndyZachAuth...
I've got one last military scifi story for you. Or would you say this story is more science-based? The story does have biology and robotics inside of it.
https://www.facebook.com/AndyZachAuth...
Now for the real last meme of this post. Here you go, my friends. Get ready for some football! With eggs.
https://www.facebook.com/AndyZachAuth...
Zombie Detective: The Extraordinary Adventures of Sam Melvin
August 24, 2021
Science Fiction Science Versus Science Fiction – Can Fiction Stay Ahead?
Science Versus Science Fiction -- Can science fiction authors even stay ahead of our rocketing science advances?
You ask, "Like what? What's so hard about imagining a futuristic setting?"
How about this development?
In addition to announcing the world's fastest computer for AI training, Tesla also presented a new self-driving application--autonomous, humanoid robots.
"But this is all just visionary stuff from Elon. It's not here yet," you respond.
Yup, not yet, but near. Just like SpaceX was a couple of years ago:
This is straight from 1950s science fiction. A rocket goes up in a plume of fire and lands on a rocket. And this video happened five years ago. This demonstrates Tesla and Elon Musk's ability to bring his vision to reality.
Science Vs Science Fiction - Science Fiction Weighs In
How well is science fiction keeping ahead? Let's start with a review I just wrote:
SciFi Book 'Citizens'
I thought the anthology, 'Citizens' would be good, since it was military science fiction written by veterans. I also like John Ringo's writing in general, and he has a story in here. But it exceeded my expectations.
Not only are there crackling good stories in this book, but it's also a survey of great science fiction writers over the past seven decades. Arthur C. Clarke, Robert Heinlein, are here as well as Murray Leinster, Gene Wolfe, and Keith Laumer. Then there are some newer writers as well, veterans of the Iraq war with their unique takes on military scifi.
If you like military scifi, don't miss this one.
Goodreads review by Andy Zach
How does this book stack up against current science? The science fiction is pretty well ahead.
Keith Laumer has a self-aware, highly motivated war robot.
Gene Wolfe and John Ringo explore extreme genetic modification for warfare.
David Freer has a light-hearted story about a postman who deflects an alien invasion.
Now, the more uncomfortable question: how am I, Andy Zach doing with my fiction versus the advances in science?
Zombie Detective's Science Fiction Versus Science
My next novel is Zombie Detective. Is it keeping ahead of science's leaps?
Disclaimer: I set this novel in 2016 and I limited myself to science as I knew it then, plus a little more. What little more did I add?
Mostly, genetic engineering. That's basically the cause of my zombieism, where rogue E Coli bacteria copy any tissue and replace it within minutes. I go into detail about how in my book, Zombie Turkeys.
Zombie Detective Excerpt for You
Getting back to Zombie Detective, I'm publishing it in September 2021. It begins like this:
“Sam, you’re fired.” Lisa’s green eyes met his brown ones.
“What? Lisa, you and I have worked together at the Midley Beacon
.for ten years! And we’ve known each other for fifteen!And we’ve been married almost two months!”“Sorry, Sam. Romance has to take a back seat to finances. Ever since the bottom dropped out of the zombie turkey news market since the first of the year, the Midley Beacon
.hasn’t made enough to pay your salary.”“But that’s our salary. We share and share alike.”
“We can still live on my salary. And you can apply for unemployment
,now that you’re fired.”“But what’ll I do all day? I can only play Fortnite for so long.”
“What did you do before I hired you
,ten years ago? What did you do while I was in college?” Lisa's brows furrowed.“Uh, mow lawns. Handyman repair. Stuff like that. But I’m a grown man now. I want more.”
“Hmm, you are a decent reporter.”
“Thanks, Lisa. That’s high praise coming from you.”
“Well, it’s the truth. You’ve grown from a crappy reporter, like ninety-nine percent of all reporters, to well above average. I did lay off everyone else on the staff before you, you know.”
“Aw, you’re making me feel warm and mushy.”
“That’s part of good management
,—emotional manipulation.”“Uh, you mean you don’t mean it?” Sam looked crestfallen.
“Nah, I mean it. Emotional manipulation is much more effective if you’re sincere.
From Zombie Detective
If you've read my books, why don't you tell me how I'm doing keeping ahead of science? Contact me here or at andyzach@andyzach.net
August 17, 2021
Problems of a Self-Published Indie Author
Problems of a Self-Published Indie Author exactly as I have experienced them over the past five years.
I'll go through this in the order I've learned these lessons.
Indie Author Problem Number One
Mistakes. Writing mistakes.
"But Andy!" you say. "You paid for a professional editor!"
You're right. But I make mistakes that slip past even the editor. I was reading Zombie Turkeys after it came back from the format editor. It was perfect--except I had the wrong character name in one sentence. Zombie Turkeys had over eighty named characters. (I know--that's too many for a 54,000 word novel. I haven't repeated that mistake.)
I'm glad I found it on the last read through before publishing. But that doesn't solve every problem.
My Second Indie Author Problem
What about book covers? I complicated things by asking for and paying for a full back cover illustration plus chapter icons.
I have a great illustrator, Sean "Fuzzy" Flanagan. But artists are creative types. And Fuzzy was doing his first commission with me. The covers weren't always done when I needed them. Also, they had to be in precisely the correct format for print books.
This took time. I made mistakes. I missed schedule dates.
But wait--there's more! Kindle (and CreateSpace) have very strict guidelines on covers. My Createspace (print) cover for Zombie Turkeys was not acceptable for Kindle. It had too much blood on it. So I had to switch the colors after I released the book. That took time away from sales while it was being changed. Here's the Kindle cover for Zombie Turkeys.
Do you have any questions so far? Ask me. I cover the whole publishing process in my blog post here.
My Next Problem: Getting Audible AudioBook Completed
I bet you didn't see that coming! I wanted to publish each of my books in as many formats as I could. Audiobook publishing with royalty share was easy--you put your book on Audible for audition and you select the best voice actor.
I hit a home run with my first voice actor, Phil Blechman, who's voiced Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, and Paranormal Privateers with his voice actor assistant, Raven Perez.
Listen to My Undead Mother-in-law
So what's the problem? My Undead Mother-in-law is six hours long. I had to listen, very carefully, to every minute to make sure there were no mistakes. And there were some in almost every chapter.
You try to read for six hours without making an error, let alone acting with the right nuance. And this doesn't count production errors like too much background noise, or voices that are too soft. Audible is very picky about its volume levels. They rejected some chapters all by themselves.
All in all, audiobook production took much longer than I expected.
The Final Problem - Changes Later On
Once you publish a book, it never changes, right? Wrong.
Each time I publish a book, I updated the books I published to show all the books I have. That way, I can possibly entice people to buy my other books.
No biggie, right? Wrong. I have to update the front matter, and the back matter, the preview of the next book. I also put in links to the other books.
This only has to go through format editing for print and ebook formats--but it still must be done.
Then there's the time I changed a book cover because the old one wasn't selling. But that's a story for another time. I'll tell you if you ask me. Hint It's this next book:
July 1, 2021
Your Top 7 Science Stories of June and Science Fiction
Top 7 Science stories have to start with this one!
I would love it if Andromeda were that bright in the sky. Sadly, all we see is the fuzzy center. This picture demonstrates the power of time-lapse photography.
Then we have this breath-taking picture:
Your Top 7 Science Stories - The Second is Next
I read a deluge of science stories every week. This one filtered through the noise. I get a newsletter from GE, which is where I found it.
This meme may make you chuckle. It worked for me. If it does, let me know and I'll give you a free ebook. Or you can get one by subscribing to my newsletter here.
Then Your Third is There Below
I first learned about living fossils in middle school with the coelacanth. Look! There's one! Don't delay! Click on the picture below.
Coelacanth. Click to get one delivered to your door.
Continuing on, Your Fun Fourth
Who wouldn't have fun with quantum computing?
If that's not fun, try my collection of short stories.
Oops cover
You can get free short story from the book on me, right here: 'In A Pickle'. Click here. Or, you can get the whole audiobook for free by clicking here.
Jive With Five of Top 7 Science Stories
This story is a little disappointing: you can't expect spaceships to cruise about independent of orbits. It takes too much energy.
That's no problem for SciFi authors, like the one behind my typewriter. In my book below, I have a spaceship that directly converts matter to energy. Very handy, that is.
Paranormal Privateers cover
Your Sixth of Top 7 Science Stories
I can hear people saying, "That's not science! That's some idiot driving a wheel to 827 MPH."
It is too science. The question was, "Can we spin a wheel faster than the speed of sound? What will happen?" There was an experiment to try it and they spun faster than the speed of sound. What's more scientific than that?
Some free advice: don't do this at home. Or anywhere else.
Your Last Science Story
The last science story covers anti-drone warfare--using silly string. I'm serious. Check it out in the link above.
The Unlikely life of Andy Zach
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