Jennifer Gilmour's Blog, page 3

It’s Not Love, It’s Trauma!

It’s been a while since I have had a guest on my blog but when I saw Rebecca Jane’s wisdom on Facebook, I had to invite her to be a guest.

It’s not love, it’s trauma!

Working as a relationship therapist, and analysing why divorce rates today are so high, I have come to realise but one thing……

In order to sustain longevity in today’s modern relationships, it’s essential that both partners do some internal work! 

What I mean by this is….. 

Most people are unaware of how our childhood trauma and unhealed childhood wounds will resurface in our romantic relationships. Regardless of how old you are! 

Many people will tell me (in the therapy room) they had a good childhood and nothing major happened to them (that they can think of). 

However, in reality, this is rarely the case. 

We ALL carry emotional baggage from our early environments and no one is exempt from this! 

When most people think of the word trauma, they imagine some type of physical or sexual abuse. 

However, trauma can also manifest in ways such as a child not feeling emotionally connected to their parents. 

For example; A child may have felt unsupported, dismissed, unheard, invalidated, shamed, or criticized growing up and this may have left that child with significant trauma responses that they then carry into adulthood and project onto their partners. 

Trauma responses can look like….. 

Mood swings, emotional outbursts, trust issues, lost memories, low self-esteem, shutting down, withdrawing, clingy/neediness, difficulty setting boundaries. Just to name a few. 

How this can manifest in a romantic relationship… 

Anxious attachment – Extreme anxiety, clingy, neediness, controlling, suffocating, 

Or 

Avoidant attachment – Hyper independent, emotionally detached, emotionally guarded 

Both of them are defence mechanisms!

Children are not designed to detach from their parents, because they need them in order to survive.  

So, if a child grew up in an environment where they felt unseen, unheard, invalidated… they don’t stop loving their parents, they stop loving themselves! 

As that child grows into an adult, it’s very likely, they will have a strong sense of unworthiness, and they may struggle to assert boundaries when people are taking them for granted or struggle to use their voice when they need to the most. 

The problems also arise, when they enter into romantic relationships and an argument with a partner brings up all the old emotional stored pain they have suppressed in their bodies for so many years.

90 % of what you argue about with your partner relates to the past 

Only 10 % of what you argue about with your partner relates to the present  

Many of my clients will often say to me in a therapy session… 

“Why do I keep attracting the same kind of partner?”

“I leave one relationship, only to recreate the same dynamic over and over again”. 

Well, the reason for this is…

Our subconscious mind will always go towards what feels familiar, even if that’s unsafe or abusive. 

Therefore, your subconscious mind looks for and filters through partners who have similar traits to one or both of your parents, because it’s trying to recreate your early environment. 

Even if you never knew one of your parents, you may be subconsciously attracted to emotionally unavailable or dismissive partners for example. 

So how do we overcome this? 

Well, this is where the internal work comes in. 

Throughout our childhood and our twenties, we are often very unconscious to our patterns. 

It’s not until we reach our 30’s that we start to wake up and become more conscious and self- aware of how we act and behave towards other people. 

In order to heal your childhood wounds and stop attracting partners and relationships that you know are not healthy for you, you have to have the curiosity and willingness to look at yourself. 

If you are in the mindset of blaming your partner, then you still have a lot more healing to do. 

Pay attention to when you are triggered and take the time to look for the deeper, hidden messages that are going on for you in that moment. 

For example; If your partner has left dirty dishes in the sink and this sets off a strong emotional reaction in you when you come home.. 

Instead of instantly blaming your partner for being lazy etc, 

What are you really feeling right now? 

Disrespected? 

Dismissed? 

Disregarded? 

Now ask yourself…. When did you feel this way in your childhood? 

Always bring it back to yourself and look for how you have also been treating yourself this way in your day-to-day life right now. 

For example, 

Are you speaking up? 

Using your voice? 

Asserting strong boundaries and sticking to them? 

Be completely honest with yourself. 

We accept the love we think we deserve. 

Therefore, if you want to change your outer reality, it all starts with you. 

 

Rebecca Jane

Rebecca Jane is a BACP registered Relationship Therapist based in Yorkshire, UK.

Rebecca has a huge passion for helping others by drawing on her own experiences.

Previous work experience includes Cruse Bereavement and The Well Woman Charity.

Rebecca has published articles in The Counsellor’s Cafe Magazine,  The Good Men Project, and Mindfulness and Grief.

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The Funky Frecks Publication Day

The 20th is almost here and I am excited about my first childrens book finally having it’s publication day. It does still link to domestic abuse but it concentrates on healthy relationships.

 

Let’s get into it:

The Funky Frecks is a children’s book for KS2 children and it follows the same ethos as my debut novel, educating through a form of entertainment. The aim is that they will carry what they learn forward in not only friendships but into their future romantic relationships, equipping them with the ability to spot the signs / pink flags. 

The story follows Jess who is unique in her own right with beautiful white hair, different-coloured eyes and freckles. Jess has been to many different schools and we join her as she starts another new school and feels rather vulnerable. The school has a buddy-up system and a fellow classmate volunteers to help Jess in her first week, her name is Sam and is very welcoming on the offset. We see them getting on well and enjoying each other’s company but things don’t feel right when Sam gives Jess a nickname that she doesn’t like, Jess musters up the courage to tell her she doesn’t like to be called Frecks but Sam ignores it. As the story unfolds we see Sam become demanding over school activities at lunchtime, getting jealous of Jess making other friends and everything comes to a crescendo. 

Book Blurb:

Jess is excited to start her new school and she soon makes friends.

But it’s not long before one friendship makes her feel uncomfortable.

Feeling trapped and alone, Jess isn’t happy.

Can she figure out a way to ask for the help she needs?

Parents & Teachers: Downloadable resources included

To help start the conversation about healthy and unhealthy friendships, there are some free resources which can be used at home or in group settings.

 

Join me on the the 20th for Publication Day: https://www.facebook.com/events/990753588768396 

 

Fully crowd funded on Kickstarter and Partnered with NCDV, DV-ACT, Kaleidoscopic UK and Free Spirit Cambs.

 

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How to Become More Computer Literate

Whether you like them or not, computers are becoming more and more necessary for daily life. Even your phone is essentially a miniature computer, with the ability to browse the internet and connect to other devices. 

While you might be able to get through life with limited computer skills, there’s never anything wrong with becoming more familiar with modern technology. After all, the virtual world can make your life more comfortable, if you know how to use it. 

What Is Computer Literacy?

Computer literacy refers to the ability to perform basic tasks with a computer. Most people have some level of computer literacy, as they’re able to use a word processor, browse the internet, and send and receive emails. 

However, there are different levels of computer literacy, and it’s always a good idea to improve your skills as much as possible. This will allow you to get the most out of your computer and use it to make your life so much easier.

Why It Matters

These skills are even more important in modern life, as most jobs now require the use of a computer. Even if your career doesn’t revolve around IT skills, you will at least need to be comfortable with a computer. Office jobs involve using computers all day long, and even other roles require you to be able to send and receive emails and use a database or a company intranet. 

Computers can also help you in your personal life. Computers allow people to communicate around the world, so if you know how to use a computer or another electronic device (such as a tablet or smartphone), then you can keep in touch with your family and friends, no matter where they are. 

You can also use software and apps to organize your life and your finances. Internet banking is far more convenient than relying on paper statements and lets you keep a much closer eye on your finances. 

How to Improve

One of the simplest ways to become more computer literate is to use computers more in your day-to-day life. The more you use these skills, the better you will get at using them. While it might seem awkward at first, you’ll soon get used to working with computers, rather than seeing technology as something to battle with.

If you have friends or family who are willing to teach you, then ask them to show you how to become better at using your devices. You can learn even more advanced skills by taking online courses or reading articles like “how to change android IP address”. These skills can open up new options and opportunities when using a computer or device.

Another benefit of online courses is that you can learn specific skills that can help you to advance your career. Coding or programming skills can be a great hobby, but you can also make a lot of money by working in this sector. Even if you don’t want to work in IT, you’d be surprised at how helpful specific skills can be. If you’re creative, then you can learn how to use different software to design and create.

 

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5 Easy Ways To Seem Smarter Than You Are

Everyone wants to make a good impression on people, but that often seems quite hard. They’ll try countless things, all to no avail. One of the easier ways of doing this is by seeming smart and like you understand everything that’s being said.

As appealing as that can be, it can seem complicated. Thankfully, there are multiple ways to seem smarter than you are that don’t need much time or effort. Five of these are recommended, as they’ll help you make a great impression, no matter who you’re talking to.

Be An Active Listener – How you communicate plays a large role in how smart you seem. To do this properly, you’ll need to be an active listener. That means actually taking the time to think about and understand what the other person is saying. You can then respond appropriately, which makes you appear smarter. Plus, it’s just the polite thing to do, so it’s one of the first things you should put some time and effort into.Dress The Part – Dressing the part is one of the more notable ways to seem smarter than you are. By looking put-together and polished, you’ll already seem relatively smart. At least, that’ll be compared to if you’re dressed poorly and in ill-fitting clothes. Make sure you dress nice, and you’ll have a better chance of appearing smarter. It’ll be easier than you think.Read Up On Trending Topics – If there’s something that your friend group talks about often, then one easy way to seem smarter is by knowing as much as possible about that topic. Reading up on it can be a great way of doing this. Even from the start, you’ll seem smarter while getting smarter. On Champagne can be a great resource if you and your friends regularly talk about or consume champagne, for example.Use Body Language To Your Advantage – Body language says a lot more about someone than most people realize. It shows other people whether you’re feeling vulnerable, defensive, and much more. You can use this to your advantage by avoiding crossing your arms and slouching. Part of this relates to confidence, which helps when you’re trying to look smarter.Have A Positive Attitude – No matter what else you do, it’s always worth having a positive attitude when you’re interacting with someone. While this doesn’t relate directly to seeming smarter, it does mean you’ll make a more positive impression. It’ll make you look smarter in hindsight when someone’s looking back on the interaction. The more positive you are, the better.

If you’re looking for ways to seem smarter than you are, you could be surprised by how many of them you have to choose from. Not all of these might seem practical or appropriate for some situations, though, so it could be worth sticking to a few of them.

Being an active listener, having a positive attitude, and dressing the part can all be great ways of doing this. With a little effort, you shouldn’t have a problem seeming smarter.

 

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How To Fall In Love With Your Reflection

You deserve to feel good about yourself and your appearance every single day. 

Despite this, a recent study found that an alarming 8 out of 10 women are dissatisfied with their reflection. Not only could this harm your self-confidence, but the way in which you navigate certain situations in your life. For example, you may be less likely to put yourself out there on the dating scene.

With that in mind, here are some top tips that you can use to fall in love with your reflection.

Pay yourself compliments

While you may be used to complementing those around you or leaving positive comments on your friend’s Instagram photos, it’s likely that you do not show yourself the same level of grace and support. However, when you begin to compliment yourself – either out loud or in your head – you can train your brain to begin to think more positively, not only about your appearance but other aspects of your life too. Furthermore, studies have found that paying yourself compliments is just as effective in boosting our mood and confidence as receiving them from others.

Pamper yourself

The act of pampering yourself, whether you buy a hair mask used for treating color damaged hair or use your favorite face mask, can also be a great way to boost your confidence. This is because investing in your beauty regimen or in making yourself look and feel good can actually boost your body’s production of “’happy’ hormones, oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin.” As a result, it can also be a great way to combat stress and anxiety. 

However, instead of viewing this act of self-care as a one-off treat, it’s important that you begin to consider it part of your weekly routine. After all, you deserve to 

feel this positively about yourself consistently rather than every few months.

Exercise

Often, the reason why we do not like to look in the mirror is that we are unhappy with how our body looks. While this is likely the product of unrealistic body standards, you can gradually (and safely) improve your relationship with your body and better manage your weight, by finding a way to get back into fitness. 

Furthermore, some studies have found that exercise is good for your confidence because “the success of creating an exercise routine and sticking to it brings you a sense of achievement.” This will encourage you to think more favorably of yourself as a whole.

Challenge negative thoughts

We are often our own worst enemies when it comes to tearing down our confidence. However, instead of letting the negative thoughts win, it’s important we ask where they are coming from. For example, if you’re feeling negative about your weight, ask yourself why. Is it because you’re comparing yourself to others you see on social media? Is it because you’ve internalized a lot of negative beauty standards? If so, try to reframe the way you are thinking about your body. Think about everything it has carried you through or how it helps you to achieve your dreams.

Take a social media break

Taking a break from social media is often associated with increased feelings of confidence, wellness, and satisfaction, alongside a reduction in stress and anxiety. As a result, this could be the perfect way to begin to fall in love with your reflection all over again. There are many reasons for this. Firstly, it stops you from comparing yourself to others, such as celebrities, whenever a picture is posted. While you already know that these photos are often carefully curated (and edited), this does not grind comparison to a halt but avoiding looking at them all together does. 

Furthermore, taking a break from social media also allows you to live a little more freely. You have more time to practice self-care and self-love and don’t have to worry about how you look at any given moment. As a result, you will begin to feel more confident naturally.

Love the skin you’re in

Learning to embrace your unique beauty is another great way to ensure that you fall in love with your reflection. This is because it will stop you from perceiving the things that make you different from others as ‘flaws’, but rather as things that make you are – things that should be celebrated. While this may be difficult, start by incorporating these quirks into your morning affirmations. For example, you should stand in front of the mirror each morning and say, “I love my nose”, “I love my lips” and so on, until it becomes a part of your routine.

 

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Items That Will Help Any Outfit

If you are trying to make an outfit work, and you can’t work out quite what it is missing, that can be quite a frustrating situation to find yourself in. However, the good news is that it is always possible to achieve this as long as you have an awareness about what kind of items can help. In this post, we are going to take you through a list of some of the items that are generally bound to help you make any outfit really come together. As long as you have the following to fall back on, that is always going to be a huge help.

Diamond Ring

This is the kind of accessory that you will certainly find can make a huge difference to your outfit of any kind, and it’s amazing how much it is likely to help you out. If you don’t already have a diamond ring, it’s something you might want to get hold of as soon as possible. The thing about diamond rings is that they generally give off a very strong sense of completion for any outfit, so it’s amazing how powerful they can be in that regard. This is therefore something you should definitely think about.

Black Boots

Chances are, whatever you are wearing can be paired with a pair of black boots pretty successfully. This is going to be the case no matter what it is, so if you want to try and get hold of some footwear that is going to help you out, a pair of black boots is a really good place to start. If nothing else, it is going to give you a sense of completion and you’ll find that you can use these boots for so many different outfits at different times. All in all, that is going to be a huge help for you, so make sure you have these as soon as possible.

Jackets

Having the right jackets can be a big help too. When you have the right jackets to put together with your outfit in general, that is the kind of thing that can help you to finish off the look, whatever it is that you might have been going for. It’s actually best to have a few that you can choose between, so this is something to shop for if you are keen on trying to keep your wardrobe as diverse and interesting as you can make it. Good jackets will really help you out a great deal.

Jeans

Finally, you have to make sure that you have the appropriate jeans in your wardrobe for whenever you might need them. This is one of those things that will help you to feel so much more in control of your look, and you’ll have so much more confidence in trying to get the appearance that you were hoping for. So that is definitely something to think about next time you are trying to improve your wardrobe. You will be amazed how much this helps.

 

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Keeping Your Small Business On The Straight And Narrow

When you have a small business to look after, one of the main things that you will probably want to make sure of is that you are keeping it operating as it should, keeping it within the remit of the law and generally making sure you don’t get in trouble. There are a lot of things to consider in order to achieve that, but in general it’s something that you can approach from a lot of different angles. Let’s look now at some of the major things to consider when you are keen to keep your small business legitimate and out of trouble.

Work On Your Bookkeeping

This is always going to be a fundamental skill that you need to work on as best as you can. The better your bookkeeping is, the easier it is going to be to keep your business out of trouble, and to ensure you are doing everything you need to do as best as you can. This is something that you can absolutely work on all the time, regardless of what you are hoping to achieve in your business, and the better it is, the better a position your business is going to be in generally.

Get Legal Advice

Of course, one of the surest ways to keep your business operating as it should is to make sure that you actually know the legal ins and outs, and for that it is normally best to get some legal advice in place. That is the kind of thing that can help you out a lot, and which you are going to need to make sure you process appropriately. As long as you do that, it’s going to help a lot. Make sure you seek advice from the likes of Beyond Law or a similar outfit who can help you out here.

Keep Your Tax In Order

Tax is one of those things that you absolutely have to make sure you are keeping in line. If you are not, you are going to find that you end up in a lot of trouble. It’s one of those things that can really make a huge difference to how you generally go about things and what you can expect from the future of your business. If you end up getting in trouble for not paying this kind of tax, that can be a huge problem, so it’s something you really need to avoid. Be sure to keep your tax in order as best as you can.

Follow Right To Work Protocol

In terms of the people you hire to work for you, this is something else that you need to make sure you are getting right too. In particular, you have to think about whether your people have the right to work, and if they don’t then you simply cannot hire them. This is a process you have to be serious about during the procedure of hiring people, so make sure that you bear this in mind and you should find it helps you out.

 

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Dissociation

In 2021 I experienced a feeling of being outer body despite being in my body. I recognised my emotions but didn’t feel them, my mood was up and down, I made decisions that I wouldn’t normally choose. I went through this for almost two months and I can look back and recognise when it began and when I came back to the surface. I now know that I was dissociating and I have come to learn more about it so that I can try to help myself when I go into this space.

 

Dissociation is a mental process of disconnection from your own thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity. 

Signs of dissociating can include:

Finding yourself ‘losing time’

You find yourself going ‘outside your body’ in times of stress

You feel emotionally numb 

The world around you doesn’t feel real 

Dissociating usually develops through coping with trauma and most often form in childhood, children subjected to long-term physical / sexual or emotional abuse. 

(Credit: Better Health Channel)

 

I can look back in my life and see where I have dissociated but I wasn’t concerned about it, I thought they were episodes of depression at the time. Unfortunately the last year of my life I have been going in and out of this state and I feel my brain is trying to protect me. The amount I have gone through In such a short time has really woken me up to the self awareness I have developed. I feel I am unlocking a different kind of healing, perhaps before I was simply just getting on with life thinking that I was recovering from the trauma I have experienced, how wrong I was. I hadn’t realised that I was still living out my survival tactics despite leaving an abusive relationship and going into a healthier one, since living on my own as a single person I have seen the depths of the abuse I endured and how I was institusanilsed. 

I feel that there are different levels of dissociating, from day dreaming, zoning out mid conversation to staring completely into space and not realising hours have passed you by. There are times I don’t feel dissociating is harmful and that’s when I know I am going to go through something challenging and I know the best place for me is to dissociate, this could be major surgery, fighting a fear, having to keep face in a dissagreement. But most of the time it’s not something I can control. 

 

There are a number of ways you can get support for dissociating, like CBT therapy, hypnotherapy and other therapies. I believe that therapy should be approached in a holistic way because not one therapy fits each person, just like we all have different shoe sizes. 

 

I have decided to look into getting support for this because this state of mind scares me. I want to feel my emotions, I want to be present and I don’t want to feel as though I am lost or on auto pilot. 

 

Going on the solo holiday was a part of taking the time to ground myself and see if I could connect myself again. Join the puzzle pieces and give myself a break. I started writing this whilst I was on holiday because I recognised that I was still dissociating and I felt the child inside of me is crying out. I feel alone and that there’s no clear path for me to go on. The one thing that grounds me when I am in this place is my children and I am thankful that they are my anchor through these waves.

As I explore ways to help me with dissociation, I will collate them into a blog post to share my findings with you. If you experience dissociation and have something that helps, please reach out to me. I’m hopeful that this will help others that also go into a dissociative space. 

 

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Simple Ways To Boost Your Self Confidence

Suffering from low self confidence levels can have a serious impact on your quality of life, as poor self esteem can encourage you to deny yourself opportunities while stepping out of the limelight and into the shadows.

Thankfully, you needn’t have to struggle against low confidence for much longer, as this handy guide contains some of the simplest steps that you can follow to fall back in love with yourself in no time at all. So, what are you waiting for? Read on to discover more!

 

Spend Less Time On Social Media

One of the best steps that you can follow to start boosting your self esteem before you know it is to spend less time on social media. Social media has become somewhat of a cesspit of judgment, photoshop and many other issues that are slowly but surely dragging the general population’s confidence down to an all time low. Scrolling through your social media feed only to find skinny model after skinny model with perfect airbrushed skin and designer clothing will be enough to turn even the happiest of people into an insecure mess, so the best way around this problem is to simply put your phone down and spend less time online. Social media is a platform that people use to get attention while also seeking validation, and oftentimes that validation is nowhere to be seen. Instead, it’s commonly replaced with belittling or degrading comments, jokes and insults, especially if you’re someone with a lot of followers and subsequently a wide audience. So, rather than letting people online decide how you feel about yourself, choose instead to break free from social media and build your own opinions and style instead. You’ll be so glad you did!

Upgrade Your Wardrobe

The clothes that you wear will have a huge impact on the way that you feel, so it’s vital that you can take the opportunities to upgrade your wardrobe if you would like to boost your confidence! Thankfully there are so many fashion stores and clothing brands in the modern day, so there’s really no need for you to have to settle for clothing that isn’t really your style. Instead, you can find outfits that express who you really are, whether you decide to goth it up or opt for a more cute and feminine vibe! Lots of people tone down their outfits so that they can blend in with the background rather than standing out from the crowd, but this may leave you feeling a little lost and uncomfortable. Instead, you need to grab the opportunity to release your unique style and flare, experimenting with different looks and brands until you can fill your wardrobe with outfits that make you feel great! If you don’t have the cash to splash on several new looks then don’t fret, as deciding to simply upgrade your underwear can be more than enough to put a little more pep in your step. Investing in a cute balconette bra can improve your confidence without anyone else even knowing why!

Practice Self Care

In today’s busy and hectic world, lots of people leave self care at the end of their list of priorities. Far too many other things can come first instead, when in reality looking after yourself should always be something that you focus on. Taking good care of yourself will benefit every single aspect of your life, from your physical health to your mental well-being, up to and including your confidence levels! When you can take the time to sit down and channel energy and attention exclusively into yourself, you’ll start to feel as though you’re more valuable and worthwhile. Self care can help to teach you about self worth, as you’re directly benefiting yourself each time you indulge in a little pampering. Whether you decide to take a long hot bubble bath, give yourself a luxurious facial or even book yourself in at a local spa to relax and unwind, just make sure you add some self care to your schedule to give your confidence that much needed boost.

Final Thoughts

Volunteering is a great way to get involved in your community. Search for volunteer opportunities on websites like VolunteerMatch, or contact the local council of your new city to find out what types of volunteer projects they offer and how you can get involved. You may even be able to find volunteer opportunities that allow you to work on projects that interest you, such as animal rescue or environmental conservation. In addition, volunteering is an opportunity to meet like-minded people, and you’ll make a real difference in your new community and better understand the people there.

 

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Top fashion trends for 2023

The new year is the perfect time to revamp your wardrobe and consider who you want to be for the year ahead. With so much exciting inspiration to choose from, it certainly is the year to experiment with new textures, colours and styles. Here is a guide on the top fashion trends for 2023.

Baggy Jeans

Skinny jeans have been out for a while now, and since then, it’s been all about the flared, boot-cut, or ‘mom’ jeans. However, now baggy jeans are back thanks to a resurgence in nostalgic 90s fashion. 

If you prefer a style other than baggy jeans, try experimenting with wide-leg trousers or straight-leg jeans. These are great alternatives that will look chic and on-trend. Try wearing suit trousers, which are great for a day in the office, or with a t-shirt and jumper for a more casual look. Look out for a high-waisted silhouette with a looser fit on the leg. 

Cargo

Until 2022, cargo trousers were initially worn by British military personnel in the early 90s and later were occasionally revived by a wacky tourist. But now, cargo is everywhere. The cargo look has exploded in popularity, especially with major celebrities such as Hailey Bieber, Emily Ratajkowski and Kim Kardashian – all of whom have been recently spotted looking incredible in these utilitarian trousers.

It’s no surprise after everybody banished their jeans to the back of the wardrobe for two years during the lockdowns. Pandemic life changed many people’s relationship with fashion, with the aim now being stylish but comfortable. Cargo trousers’ baggy shape offers maximum comfort (especially compared to jeans, which often dig in at the waist). They also have the practical element of having lots of pockets. 

Blazers

Blazers have been back for a while and are here to stay for 2023. Whether you’re dressing up for an evening out in a glamorous blazer dress or pairing an everyday blazer with jeans and trainers, you can’t go wrong. Have some fun with this professional, clean look by adding bright colours and patterns to your wardrobe. Or, follow in the footsteps of designers such as Jil Sander, Peter Do and Elena Velez by embracing clean lines and beautiful materials.

 

Sequins

Everybody is very excited about sequins, which seemed to dominate everywhere during the festive period. The best part about sequins is they can be used for just about anything: clothes, shoes and even on accessories such as handbags. Brands such as judithleiber.com are leading the way with unique, glamorous accessories which can absolutely transform an outfit. A sequinned dress or handbag can leave you feeling – in the words of Taylor Swift – like you can make ‘the whole place shimmer’. Swift’s song and music video for ‘Bejeweled’ truly sums up this entire trend.  

Sheer

The sheer transparent look has always been trendy, but recently has been spotted more and more on the Spring/Summer 2023 fashion runways. It was estimated that 77% of designers included transparent looks in their collections! Some gorgeous examples include Milan Fashion Week, where bedazzled mesh turtlenecks were worn underneath dazzling dresses, so it’s only a matter of time until sheer clothes are everywhere in the stores and online, too. 

Incorporate this edgy but ultra-feminine trend by adding a sheer top to your fall and winter wardrobes, or to truly make a statement, wear a tulle-covered petticoat with a baggy t-shirt for the ultimate chic winter look. 

 

 

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