Jennifer Gilmour's Blog, page 2

My Journey Into Long-Term Therapy: #NoMindLeftBehind

It’s time to be brutally honest today and talk about my journey into long-term therapy, bear with me. 

 

In August of 2023, I finally managed to secure long-term therapy for my CPTSD and I’ve been quiet with regards to writing about domestic abuse, almost silent. I have managed to keep up with some of my social media presence but if I’m honest I have had to focus on myself. 

 

Before I started this new therapy, I had experienced several accesses to mental health support. Let me go back to when I was twelve, I had a Connexion counsellor at school, the reason behind this was that I was being bullied severely and the conclusion was that I was the problem (apparently). Unfortunately, a lot of my problems weren’t just with school bullies but at home, I was unaware that my parents would get a detailed report of what I had said during these therapy sessions. You can imagine what difficulties this created, more so with my mother. 

 

I’m sure you can see why I have had a negative view of mental health support with an automatic concern over trust for any mental health interventions thereafter. 

 

I tried to battle through it on my own with the support of a healthy partner. When I entered University all that I knew about life came crumbling down. I disliked the cliques and the ostracisation of one of the friends I had made, I ultimately had to make the decision to be friends with her over the group of friends we were a part of. I learned a lot about unhealthy people and started to look deeper into my own relationships. Fellow University students would go home for half term to see family or their relatives would visit on campus, not me; I went to my boyfriend’s house or stayed on campus on my own. I wondered why my family was so different from others and I felt like I was missing out, whilst a part of it felt normal another part of it felt abandoned. This led to my own version of rebelling, I went out drinking with different groups of people and on my own, I partied hard and locked myself in my university room with a box set of 24 (a TV show that was heavily popular at the time). From childhood, I was used to my own company and could keep myself busy so I managed through the first year. 

 

However, it was during my university years that my healthy relationship ended and I fell into a relationship with a man who led me down a path of isolation through his manipulation and control tactics. I removed myself from family and friends almost completely. I ended up in my first round of counselling because all of our relationship problems were my fault, the counsellor identified that the relationship was an issue and couldn’t help me. More time passed and I went to a different counsellor because I needed help and I needed to solve it, this one opened up the space for us to go together, thankfully he didn’t turn up because the repercussions of this would have been incredibly dangerous. We passed a marriage “course” despite him not attending a couple of the sessions and me disclosing concerns and we did get married.

 

Unfortunately, my mental health support was very little even when I tried to take my own life. I sat in A&E being told I had to wait the hours for a mental health nurse to say I was OK to leave otherwise the police would arrest me. Not what I thought would happen in my moments of distress. My ex-husband had driven me insane and I had resulted in hurting myself and looking for an exit. I learned to dissociate more than I had done before, I played his game to survive and my two children were my reason to stay. I was a full-time mum and started to find my feet in how to work his system but the amount of damage he was creating was unknown to me at the time.

 

Once I had fled, I accessed my local GP and went straight onto antidepressants / anti-anxiety medication and remained on them for two years. There was no talk of accessing talking therapies but I self-referred myself to a programme that gave me access to a domestic abuse support worker. I also accessed tonnes of self-help, a family support worker, my bank and had more support from a new partner and his family. I didn’t see it then but I was lucky at this point in my life despite finding everything incredibly difficult in dealing with the police and the family courts. Being on the medication and struggling with my mental health as a result of the trauma I had experienced led me to be an unreliable witness and so the police case that was open on the four different crimes he was arrested for was closed, that was a long four years.

 

Another four years go by, I find myself struggling again and this time I access a talking therapy to avoid going back onto medication again. I was limited to twelve sessions and one problem, I had to give it a shot. I did get on with the person I was assigned to but it was just by luck that she had past work in the domestic abuse sector to be able to support me. I was too complex for the one problem assigned to the 12 weeks because my CPTSD meant one trigger could unlock several different memories that I needed to address. It was exhausting but I got through this part of my life in which trust was broken, deceit was created and abandonment was eating away at me. 

 

Another few years went by and I had a life-changing realisation followed by the diagnosis of ADHD, my life had turned on its head. I had settled down in my marriage and felt I was happy only to recognise my feelings for women that I couldn’t ignore, this led to an identity crisis and a mental breakdown. I tried to escape my life on two occasions, one more serious than the other and I felt I had failed at being a ‘survivor’. I’m still here today which means I am still a ‘survivor’, what I mean by this is; I had everything together and I couldn’t cope with what was unfolding for the next part of my story. 

 

It was at this point, in total crisis, that I accessed the emergency mental health service and I finally got listened to. I had to report to them weekly and they called me almost every other day to check on how I was doing (AKA checking my risk to life). Minutes in my day felt like hours, hours felt like days and every moment was a battle to just to carry on living.

 

After a couple of months of being with the emergency home care team, I was referred to long-term therapy which is for those with complex trauma. I shared my anxieties about therapy and questioned why I was only getting the help for this now after a decade of struggling since I fled my abusive ex-husband, a number of mental health nurses I had seen each said “I’d slipped through the system”.  I was reassured that this therapy was for my complex trauma and again I told myself to give it a shot despite feeling very sceptical.

 

I’m around 8/9 months into seeing my therapist almost every week. The environment is right, my therapist is right and reassured me that she is there for at least two years so she can really get to know me and give me the help I deserve. I pay a contribution payment of £10 per session which I’m more than happy to do because it has repaired my lack of trust for any therapy/counselling I’ve had in the past. 

 

It has not been easy and it’s really challenged me to think about how my trauma has truly affected my thought process, my decision making and me as a person. I give myself time around the session to prepare and then digest what we’ve spoken about. I come away feeling lighter but also validated in my feelings, tools to help me when I’m anxious or have triggers and I feel like I’m getting somewhere. My therapist had said I’m emotionally knowledgable, I’m very self-aware, I’m able to reflect on myself but not emotionally resilient- this is what we are working on.

 

I’m not going to lie and tell you that therapy is a simple process because it isn’t, you have realisations outside of the therapy sessions, the hard work comes outside of that session and you have to put the work in. Some weeks I feel I’ve moved forward a step but then another week I’ve moved back two steps. Remember, healing is not linear. 

 

I’m on the path to assessment for AuDHD, I have an appointment in a couple of weeks and my hope is that I will be able to understand myself better and validation on how my brain works. 

 

Mental health matters and without the right support it can deteriorate and feel very isolating. This month is Mental Health Awareness Month, if you’re struggling then please reach out for help because the right support for you is available once you find it, persevere, self-refer and don’t give up. 

 

Mind has a Mental Health Awareness Week coming up 13th-19th May called #NoMindLeftBehind,  if you haven’t been on Minds website then it is most certainly worth a visit with lots of information and resources. 

 

Thank you for being patient with my lack of consistency on my blog posts and social media. Just know, I am working on my next steps. Sign up for my newsletter for the latest news and updates. 

 

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The post My Journey Into Long-Term Therapy: #NoMindLeftBehind appeared first on Jennifer Gilmour.

PTSD: Small Steps

PTSD 

Pretty Polly. (1988 – 2010)

Say goodbye to Pretty Polly

The lass from the Co-op store

She went and joined the Army

And they sent her off to War 

Off to far Afghanistan 

To set the people free

Pretty Polly’s was blown up

By a roadside I.E.D.

The armour saved her physically

But mentally she was gone

Stuck there in a time warp

Wasn’t able to move on.

They didn’t just desert her

The counsellors really tried

But out there in Afghanistan 

Some part of her had died.

But Pretty Polly was a soldier

And a soldier’s life is cheap

So they gave her a War Pension

And out on the scrap heap.

Pretty Polly didn’t moan

And Pretty Polly didn’t whine

She had after all voluntarily

Signed on the dotted line.

She slept rough in the woods

Bivvying on  open ground

Alert and awakened by 

Every single little sound.

Sat on a shop doorsteep

For hours every single day

Until the police or the council

Finally moved her on her way.

They found her in a wood

Hanging from a rope 

Pretty Polly it seems 

Had finally lost all hope.

Just another Veteran

Who chose to end life like that

They bore Standards at her funeral

The coffin bore her Dress Hat.

The Padre told her story

The family held a wake

Some of her Regiment came

Just for old times sake

To saygoodbye to Pretty Polly

The lass from the Co-op store

Just another senseless victim

Of another senseless war.

The Armed Forces are probably the only true Equal Opportunity employer in  land.

Both genders train together, have the same opportunities for advancement, accept the conditions of employment, and have the same expectation of giving their lives in the service of a generally ungrateful nation.

In addition the women suffer discrimination in a very largely male environment and only the very strong survive a full engagement (22 years)

Polly is a construct but her story is all too common.   There is virtually no obligation for aftercare following discharge.  That is left to charities to provide.

After 7 years, until the first Covid lockdown, as part of a small charity run by ex service volunteers for ex service personnel I felt broken myself.  Some we lost, many we won, but it was a job that could never be finished.  The basis for Polly hung themself

selves in Brantingham Dale.   

 I served for 4 years in a specialised occupation, still subject to the Official Secrets Act.  I was sufficiently naive to give an honest opinion when asked for, was threatened with Court Martial for subversion and took on the Army on my own, and, against all odds, won.

It was my own experience that made me try to help.  Whatever our age we spoke the same language, suffered many of the same hardships, and understood many of their problems.

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Investing with Purpose: How Women Can Make an Impact

Hello, incredible women of the Earth. Today we’re going to explore the world of investing and it’s exciting to embark on this journey together. So grab your drink, settle in and let’s have a conversation about how we can enhance our futures while creating a genuine and meaningful impact.

 

The Rise of Women in Finance

Ladies, it’s time to celebrate! Picture this: a world where women aren’t just breaking the glass ceiling – we’re shattering it into a million pieces! In the financial realm, we’re witnessing a steady rise in the number of women stepping up to take charge. It’s like a breath of fresh air in a room that’s been stuffy for far too long.

Here’s the special ingredient: variety. It’s more than a term; it’s what helps women make wiser choices when it comes to investments. The female’s distinct viewpoints bring a touch to the world of finance.

 

What is “Investing with Purpose”?

Alright, let’s be honest here. What’s all the fuss about “investing with purpose“? Well, it’s like picking investments that really align with your values. No blindly throwing your earned money into the unknown financial realm. Instead, you’re investing in things that truly matter to you.

It’s like the opposite side of the coin compared to traditional investing. You aren’t solely focused on making money; your aim is to find purpose and make a difference.

Sustainable and Ethical Investing

Sustainability is really popular these days, isn’t it? Investing in a way that’s both ethical and sustainable can have a great impact. It’s all about supporting companies that prioritize more than making money but also strive to benefit our planet and society.

Just picture investing your money in companies that prioritize energy, social justice and corporate responsibility. It’s like watching your money dance with joy while you peacefully sleep.

 

How We Can Incorporate Purpose into Our Investments

Let’s talk about how you can join the trend of purpose-driven investments. Before anything, it’s important for you to put in the effort and do research. Research is like your companion when it comes to making investments that truly matter.

The strategy revolves around the diversification of your portfolio. We aim to allocate our investments across asset classes such as stocks, bonds and real estate. It’s important for you not to concentrate all our resources on an avenue as that could potentially lead to difficulties down the line. And don’t be shy about asking for guidance from experts like BuyAssociation Group. They can guide you towards good investments. 

 

Overcoming Challenges

The financial world can be quite challenging at times, especially for women. It’s like navigating through a forest. However, don’t be discouraged by it. You’re more than capable of handling it! Stay self-assured, equip yourselves with knowledge, and connect with mentors who have already trodden this path. And watch yourself create a better financial future for yourself.

 

Conclusion

Investing with a purpose goes beyond earning money; it involves making an impact. And you have an opportunity to accomplish both goals. When women invest, they can make a difference in the world one investment at a time.

So, let your money make a real impact. Both your financial future and the world will be grateful for it.

 

The post Investing with Purpose: How Women Can Make an Impact appeared first on Jennifer Gilmour.

Fighting With Siblings

Fighting with siblings seems to be universal, affecting nearly everyone. What’s more, most conflict is over the smallest things. 

That’s why everyone with brothers or sisters needs to understand the phenomenon. Knowing where it comes from can help to defuse arguments and keep relationships cordial and non-hostile. 

 

The Drivers Of Sibling Arguments

 

Researchers have identified several factors that drive sibling arguments. These vary from the evolutionary to the psychological. 

One reason siblings fight so much is the need for competition. Parental resources are limited, so we learn as children to fight with each other to secure more food and attention for ourselves. 

This approach doesn’t just stop when we are 18, though. Instead, it continues into adulthood in the form of jealousy and resentment, often boiling over into fights. When it’s over money, probate solicitors sometimes need to get involved. 

Another driver of sibling arguments is stress. When people feel frazzled by work or snowed under by a romantic relationship that’s not going so well, it can lead to arguments. 

Differences in personalities can also play a significant role. Not all brothers and sisters are the same. Instead, nature builds significant differences in us, which can lead to clashes and other problems. 

Finally, communication skills can be lacking in some families, making it harder to know where everyone stands. These issues can then lead to problems with communicating with others, leading to misunderstandings and unexpected conflict. 

 

What To Do If You Are Fighting With Siblings

 

Fighting with siblings is never a pleasant experience. Deep down, you know that you’re all on the same side. What’s more, a conflict that goes unresolved for too long can be downright destructive to your happiness. 

If you are arguing with a sibling, take a break from the relationship. Step back for a while to give yourself some time to gain a deeper or broader perspective on the situation. While it might seem unpleasant, removing yourself from an argument can prevent you from saying something you might regret. 

You can also try compromising with your siblings. Going halfway on an issue can often reduce tension and help you both get on better with each other. 

Another possible route is to simply talk to your sibling about what’s irking you and find some ways to resolve the situation. The more you listen to their side of the story, the more likely you are to come to an understanding of where the conflict is coming from. 

Most psychologists believe that it’s okay for siblings to maintain healthy boundaries with each other, especially in adult life. You don’t want to be constantly submitting to a sibling who is trying to dominate you. 

You also want to avoid going to parents at the slightest sign of conflict. Getting them to arbitrate can reintroduce the old family dynamics that brought about the argument or tension in the first place. 

Finally, approach the task of fixing things with your siblings with a sense of humour. Laughing about your problems can help you avoid fighting with your brothers or sisters from turning into a full-blown mental health crisis.

 

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5 Tips to Empower Yourself

As we step into the new year, many of us are setting goals and aspirations to make the most of the year ahead. Confidence is the key that unlocks our potential and empowers us to reach for our dreams. 

Finding confidence is especially crucial for individuals who have survived domestic abuse. Rebuilding a sense of self-worth and empowerment after experiencing such trauma can be a challenging journey, but it is also an essential part of healing and moving forward. Finding confidence will help someone reclaim their personal identity, help overcome emotional scars, build boundaries and assertiveness, pursue opportunities for growth, discover supportive connections and start to feel in control of their own life. 

I personally am on that journey to find my own confidence, it has been a decade since I fled an abusive relationship but it has taken even longer to find myself. 

In this blog post, I share the 5 tips that helped me to find my confidence along with how I have achieved it for myself. My hope is that you will be inspired to embrace your confidence in 2024.  

 

1. Embrace Self-Care

Self-care is essential for building confidence. When you take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, you are better equipped to face life’s challenges. Whether it’s practicing mindfulness, engaging in regular exercise, a pamper night or indulging in a hobby you love, self-care should be a priority in your daily routine. 

Weightlifting became my therapy back in 2019 and until losing it this year due to 3 major surgeries I hadn’t realised just how essential it had become. I always feel I have a better day if it’s started in the gym. 

 

2. Set Realistic Goals

Setting achievable goals and working towards them can significantly boost your confidence. Break down your long-term aspirations into smaller, manageable tasks, and celebrate each milestone you reach. This approach will help you build momentum and belief in your abilities

It took me a while to recognise that my goal setting was poor, my goals would be unrealistic in the time I set myself. Once I realised I needed to break down my goals into bitesized chunks writing my first book was achievable, a chapter a month is much more realistic than trying to write my whole book in two months. It all falls in line with managing my own expectations of myself and start of learning to set those realistic goals. 

3. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Growth and confidence often lie just beyond the borders of our comfort zones. Challenge yourself to try new things, take on new responsibilities, or learn a new skill. Embracing discomfort and uncertainty can lead to personal and professional breakthroughs that bolster your confidence. 

A few years ago I decided to challenge myself and I took part in an abseil off the side of a local building, it was 150ft and I had to take myself over the ledge at the very top. I felt amazing once I did it but the surge of fear and adrenaline had me physically shaking despite knowing everything was going to be ok. It took me outside of my comfort zone and my next challenge will be a sky dive. 

 

4. Cultivate a Supportive Network

Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive individuals can have a profound impact on your confidence. Seek out friends, family members, or mentors who believe in you and encourage your personal growth. Their belief in your abilities can help you see yourself in a more positive light. 

I have recently gained an accountability buddy, we check in with each other once a week and once a month for our monthly goals. This person is someone I have met through my work as a domestic abuse advocate and knows my message as I know hers. My best friend and I check in on each other numerous times throughout the day with diary room voice notes. Without people like this in my life I’d feel almost alone, they keep me motivated to stay on track and enjoy life. 

 

5. Enhance Your Personal Style

Your outward appearance can significantly influence your self-esteem. Taking pride in your appearance and personal style can boost your confidence and self-image. Whether it’s through fashion, skincare, or makeup, enhancing your personal style can be a powerful tool for self-expression and confidence building. 

Embracing a skincare routine or experimenting with makeup looks that accentuate your features, you can cultivate a sense of confidence and self-assuredness that radiates from within. I love the names of their products that screams out confidence like the Big Lip Energy Lip Oil featuring colours ‘Bossed Up’ and ‘Successful’. The lip mask ‘The Plush Treatment’ takes looking after your lips to a skincare regime level with intense hydrating action it will leave your lips feeling silky-smooth and radiant

My smile had always been an issue for me after what he used to call me (my abusive ex partner) , when the opportunity presented itself I invested in myself and had my teeth straightened. Once I came to the end of my treatment I couldn’t believe the difference it made in me, my confidence started to grow even more. 

 

I am constantly looking at ways I can increase my self-confidence and this includes looking at businesses and brands that deliver this message. I recently discovered a leading beauty and skincare brand known for their high-quality products and commitment to empowering individuals through self-expression. Ivanova Beauty is designed to enhance natural beauty and confidence.   

Again, finding confidence after surviving domestic abuse is a critical step toward reclaiming one’s life and shaping a future free from the shadows of the past. It represents a transformation from victim to survivor, empowering individuals to live with resilience, self-assurance, and a renewed sense of purpose.

As we venture into 2024, let’s commit to finding our confidence and embracing the opportunities that lie ahead. By incorporating these five tips into our lives and exploring resources, we can cultivate a strong sense of self-assurance that propels us towards success and fulfilment in the new year. 

Remember, healing is not linear and to be kind to yourself as your start to unlock your confidence and grow. 

 

Here’s to a confident and empowering 2024!

 

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Trauma Recovery: Physical and Emotional

This year I have had three different major surgeries; In January I had a full hysterectomy, in June I had a right ACL reconstruction plus a meniscus disc re-anchored and finally last week I had a left ACL reconstruction. All three have felt very different on my own pain scale but one thing they all have in common is that the time to be”fully recovered” is one year. However, each surgery has a different physio programme to follow. The programmes are a set of different exercises and potential milestones but I was assured that each person is different and milestones will be reached exactly when my body can reach them.

Thankfully I spent a good year becoming the fittest I could possibly be before my first surgery, I lost a lot of weight and toned up. Following my hysterectomy I was then able to do post op physio ready for my planned bilateral ACL reconstruction surgery planned for June. However, the surgery didn’t fully go to plan because when they went into my right knee there was a lot more damage to fix hence why I had to go back for my left knee.

But what does this have to do with the trauma recovery I really want to talk about? Trauma from being coercively controlled by my ex husband.

Hystorectomy Selfie Post Hystorectompy Surgery ACL Leg and Meniscus Disc ACL and Meniscus Disc Brave Bird Pants Post ACL and Meniscus Disc Surgery ACL and Meniscus Disc Back of Knee Post ACL and Meniscus Disc Wound Post ACL Surgery Selfie Post ACL 1 day Post ACL side Post ACL Post ACL 2 week swelling

Well, this year I have seen for myself just how long it takes to recover from these individual surgeries. What surprised me was the ACL reconstructions, they didn’t seem like the most invasive surgery you could end up with for your knees. But, my legs ended up swelling up and the bruising on my chin and the back of my knee was just as bad as my knee itself. Then there was the ability to put your weight onto your leg after this surgery. I’m sure you are getting the picture.

This has opened my eyes to how much the body can take but also what it needs to do to repair itself, including the energy it takes from you physically. My body has suffered immense trauma this year and I am doing everything in my power to repair it because I know how important it is to me in the long run. It feels like an almost holistic approach, every patient is different, every patient is on their own pain management and physical recovery journey.

Why then did I not consider the amount of time, patience, help, support or guidance needed for emotional trauma? It will be even longer than the physical trauma my body has gone through this year. When I started to think of it like this I started to feel lighter and asked myself why haven’t I been kinder to myself?

Upon this conclusion I realised that…

My mind needs its own physio therapy to exercise through the flashbacks, negative automatic thoughts and unhealthy habits.My heart needs the presence family, friends or connections to help learn to love and trust again.My soul needs guidance and the tools to be able to open up and be kind to myself.

Everyone is different, one exercise might work for me but for someone else it might not. We talk about a holistic approach but when you see how it works in a physical trauma way, you realise that it’s still missing.

Going back to my recovery from the surgeries, post surgery I had phone calls to check up on how I was doing at home, I had appointments to check my wounds and mobility, I had the pain management side and more. Some weeks I had five appointments face to face. Correct me if I am wrong, but as far as I know we don’t do this for those who have had an emotional trauma.

Even physical trauma to the body can relapse and so it’s important to also remember that healing is not linear with surgery. I can definitely say that I’ve been doing well with recovery for a couple of weeks and then suddenly I’ve been over confident and climbed an extra step or walked around a corner faster than I should, it’s then put me back a week.

Emotional trauma can come from situations or events we find traumatic and can include how we’re affected by our experiences. Everyone has a different trauma response, so you might notice that it effects you quickly or a long time after the event. Being verbally or emotionally abused is one of the most common forms of emotional trauma, it takes many different forms and can go unrecognised for years.

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Empowering Change for Unplanned Interviews with Children

Going back almost a decade, there was no law in place to support me as someone who had experienced a coercive controlling relationship for several years. I did however receive the local support of Hull DAP and had my very own support worker, without this support I wouldn’t have moved forward with my life as much as I have done.

There was an experience within my journey in which I was pulled into an interview with the police, I assumed the meeting was to deliver a response to the first interview and to deliver the CPS decision. This wasn’t the case at all, I travelled 30 miles to a location, it was within the lockdown, there was a detective and a police officer to accompany me on this meeting. Once I discovered exactly why I was there, I was immediately triggered and I was instantly started re living what I had suffered, I was dissociating, shaking, couldn’t respond and on my own. I didn’t have my domestic abuse support worker with me, my partner wasn’t with me and I the police watched me. Having no idea what to do, they tried talking to me to reassure me I was safe. I didn’t know how I was going to drive home, I was feeling sick, I was in and out of reality and there was no need for any of this.

This event stuck with me for weeks and I still remember what it felt like thinking back to it. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I were a child were to go through a similar experience. 

Nikolai Springfield got in touch with me to explain what had happened to her 6 year old and that was interviewed in an unplanned way.

At just 6 years old, our child, who has additional support needs, endured physical and sexual assault at school. But the betrayal didn’t end there. The subsequent investigation by police and social work was fraught with negligence, leading to a devastating conclusion: our child was labelled a liar, and the perpetrator faced no repercussions.

Our child is autistic, with pathological demand avoidance (PDA) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). PDA makes them go to great lengths to avoid demands, even questions. The authorities failed to consider this when conducting their unplanned interview, violating government guidelines.

After nearly two years, we finally received validation from the Police Independent Review Commission: the authorities had not planned the interview appropriately.

We’ve lost friends and even family support in this battle, but we refuse to stand down. For if they can do this to us, they can do it again, to another innocent child and another shattered family.

A GoFund me page has been set up by Nikolai who wants to take legal action against the authorities that have failed her child. It’s needed so that they can pay for solicitor fees, psychological support for her family and to create public awareness initiatives. Empowering change for unplanned interviews with children. 

It’s not the only way that you can help with Nikolai’s cause, you can share her GoFund me or this blog post using #JusticforPJ.

Learn more

With the success of three kickstarter campaigns I know that crowdfunding can make a difference. 

Together we are Louder!

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Empower Your Journey: True Life Care Mental Health Services in New Jersey

Welcoming a guest blog post today. 

In the bustling landscape of New Jersey, the pursuit of mental well-being is an endeavor that requires personalized care, compassion, and expertise. At True Life Care Mental Health Services, we understand the unique challenges individuals face in their daily lives, and we are committed to providing empowering therapy and expert care to guide you on the path to resilience and independence.

Prioritizing Your Well-being:

In the heart of New Jersey, our outpatient services are designed to offer the flexibility and personalized care you need to regain control and live your best life. Our mission is rooted in the belief that everyone deserves access to high-quality mental health services tailored to their individual needs.

Understanding Mental Health Challenges:

True Life Care Mental Health Services addresses a spectrum of mental health challenges to ensure comprehensive care. Our experienced professionals specialize in the treatment of:

Anxiety Disorders: Whether you’re dealing with generalized anxiety, panic attacks, social anxiety, or specific phobias, our dedicated team is equipped to guide you through evidence-based therapies that foster lasting relief.

Mood Disorders: From major depression to bipolar disorder and seasonal affective disorder, we provide a supportive environment for individuals seeking to navigate the complexities of mood-related challenges.

Personality Disorders: For those grappling with conditions like borderline personality disorder or obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, our team offers empathetic understanding and therapeutic interventions to enhance overall well-being.

Psychotic Disorders: Our experts are trained to address severe mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and delusional disorder, providing support and strategies for managing symptoms.

Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorders: True Life Care specializes in the treatment of trauma-related conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), acute stress disorder, and adjustment disorder, fostering healing and resilience.

Substance-Related and Addictive Disorders: With a compassionate approach, we offer comprehensive care for individuals grappling with alcohol use disorder and drug use disorder, promoting recovery and rebuilding lives.

Additional Mental Health Concerns: True Life Care Mental Health Services in New Jersey extends its expertise to address a range of concerns, including anger management, relationship issues, and self-esteem challenges. Our goal is to empower you to overcome obstacles and lead a fulfilling life.

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The post Empower Your Journey: True Life Care Mental Health Services in New Jersey appeared first on Jennifer Gilmour.

Healing Is Not Linear

Yesterday I started therapy and I am trying to remain hopeful.

I have experienced counselling when I was in an abusive relationship around 11/12 years ago, I went again around 5/6 years ago with a completely different service. I found that it did help but my first experience it was clear it was to do with the relationship which meant my situation needed to change. My second experience I had was limited to 12 sessions, we were able to do a few more than this but even she realised that my trauma was too complex for just listening.

My hope is that this long term therapy will enable me to make my own decisions free of other peoples opinions or past trauma memories interrupting the decision making process. I want to be able to manage my triggers in a healthier way.

I’m sharing this because I haven’t exactly been present for the last year and I have been comforted by quite a few concerned people that have followed me on social media. But I didn’t accept their help and I didn’t want to share with the world that I need to take time for myself because I would see it as a failure.

Yes I am an advocate for women who are or have been abused, yes I raise awareness, yes I signpost, yes I will get involved in campaigns where I can but I am still a survivor myself. I am someone with lived experiences, I am someone who doesn’t shy away from that or my healing journey.

In the last year I have also had someone respond negatively on social media because they felt that my message wasn’t clear within our communication compared to what was said online years later. I have held onto these comments despite knowing that this is all circumstantial. Whenever I speak with someone I signpost in a voluntary manor and always say I am not a professional, I am someone with lived experiences.

It reminded me of what was once said to me that took some of the weight from my shoulders as a recovering people pleaser, “you only know what you know at that time”. When I first published my debut novel Isolation Junction I was in a very different place to where I am now, I’ve taken the time to learn, to heal, to listen and to be kinder to myself.

If I went back in time to rewrite my story knowing what I know now, of course it would be completely different. If I went back and went through everything again with the brain I had at that time, I would have still made those choices knowing what I knew at that time.

Equipping myself is the only way that I will move forward, a decade has passed since I fled and yet I am here feeling like I am back on day one. That feeling goes quickly when I think back to what day one was like and the strength it has taken to get her, I am on day one but I’m not in the same chapter nor the same book.

Healing is different for everyoneHealing doesn’t follow tasks you have to do to achieve completionHealing for those with trauma is a continuous effort for years and years to comeHealing is not linear

Be patient with yourself as I have tried to be for me.

As a part of this next step in my journey, I have started writing again and I hope to be more present but for now I make no promises. I know what I share will be right for the time I am posting it and I hope it helps you.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and usually I do something to mark the month, this year my energy has to mostly be for me but this does not mean that I am not thinking about it’s importance.

Together we are Louder

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Improving Your Online Presence

Making money online isn’t always easy – especially when you are competing with the whole of the online world, which is why you need to make sure that you stand out from the crowd. Most people spend more time online now than they do asleep, and it’s important you spend your online time (for the most part) creating content that feeds into your online presence.

It doesn’t matter if you are selling services or products; having plenty of online content will drive people towards what you do. You will cement yourself as an expert in the field and are likely to see an increase in sales.

I wouldn’t have been able to make make a difference in the public sector or even the proffessional sector without the presence I have managed to build online but it’s not just my efforts; I have my followers to thank as well.

In this collaborative blog post we will explore if an online presence really matters and what you can do to improve your presence in the digital world.

Let’s get into it…

Does an online presence matter?

In short, yes. But why? When you put content out, you are making what you do (and you) more discoverable by people who are looking for those products and services. You are more likely to be seen as legitimate and authentic when you create content that supports your business. I have been very open with my story and I started right at the beginning by sharing my writing process alongside the challenging and exhausting reality of a domestic abuse survivor. Online content is the best way you can market yourself (and what you sell) 24/7 – because the internet never sleeps.

It also supports the buyer’s journey because the content you make on different platforms offers different starting points that point towards the same place. You are meeting your potential customers where they are.

So, what can you do to improve your online presence?

Think about what your customers do and where they spend time online. Do you have a profile that is active and up-to-date there? Any profile that you have should be something that you take care of and post regular updates for. Setting time aside to create for each platform is important and keeps users and fans engaged.

Website

Your website is the window to your products and services; a bad website will give users the impression that your business is likely conducted in the same way. Since most shoppers prefer to shop online, not having a website puts you at a disadvantage. 

Blog

A blog isn’t something of the past; it is the best way to deliver valuable content on your website. Regular updates and a lot of value will give Google and other search engines that your website is relevant, and it is more likely to come up in searches. For those who don’t have time to write it themselves, hire a copywriter to keep your website producing regular content.

My blog is a source of information and educates people about coercive control, trauma, recovery, healing, support, lived experiences and more. It has helped my SEO which has led to some fantastic opportunities including winning awards and press interviews.

Podcast

Not everyone has the time to read long-form articles, but an increasing amount of people choose to listen to podcasts and audiobooks as they go about their day. #AbuseTalk podcast put my name in the professional sector and it gave me the opportunity to connect with key people within different organisations which made a made my name known in the field. You can create a podcast that covers topics that make sense to your product – or something unrelated entirely. With a little podcast editing and some scripted episodes, you’ll have a new platform to share.

Audience over followers

Don’t confuse followers for your audience, but keep in mind your audience is likely mingled in with your followers. An audience is engaged, while followers aren’t but can look like on metrics. An audience is engaged, while followers don’t. Create all content with the audience in mind, and avoid producing high-volume content just for follower count. 

If you want to work on your website but are not sure where to start, check this: Essential Characteristics Your Website Should Have.

Social Media 

These days having a presence online includes social media platforms and perhaps it doesn’t even need it’s own section because it’s woven throughout the above.

I spend a lot of time on social media and I have enjoyed it for what it is but also for campaigns. Social media is instrumental in strengthening your online presence by providing an expansive platform to connect with potential customers. With strategic use of social media, you can increase brand visibility, drive website traffic, and cultivate meaningful relationships with your target audience. By leveraging social media, you can effectively communicate your message, stand out from the competition, and establish credibility in a digital landscape where people spend significant time.

Are you following me? All my social media links are in the header bar of my website to make it accessible for website readers to find. I hope to see you on your favourite platform. 

 

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