Exponent II's Blog, page 8
July 21, 2025
Congratulations to our 2025 BIPOC Artist Scholarship Winners!
Congratulations to our 2025 BIPOC Artist Scholarship Winners!
Crystal Gonzalez Callison
Elisha Fernandez
Erica Diane Monson
Amuri Morris
Crystal Gonzalez Callison
“Over the summer and for the next year, I will be preparing for my final solo BFA show at BYU, which will serve as the culmination of my time in the program. While the exact theme of the exhibition is still taking shape, I know that it will reflect the personal, cultural, and emotional experiences that have shaped me as an artist.
As a first-generation Mexican American, the oldest daughter of immigrant parents, and a mother of six children, some with special needs, my perspective and lived experiences inform everything I create. My art often explores themes of identity, memory, motherhood, and cultural heritage. I’m currently in the process of developing work that continues in this direction, and I’m allowing the final show to evolve as I grow through this last phase of my program.”
Empoderada: Empowered Brown Skinned Woman, Oil
Braided Beauty, Charcoal
Morena Guerrera
Elisha Fernandez
“The Exponent II BIPOC Artist Scholarship would help me access resources, materials, and support for my multi-disciplinary art projects, including digital art, painting, and writing for my debut novel. The project I would put the majority of the scholarship toward is my debut adult novel. It falls in two main genres: dark fantasy and psychological horror, taking some inspiration from Gothic Victorian aesthetics.
The novel takes place in an uncolonized setting of the Dominican Republic (the island of Quizquéia in Taíno), featuring the indigenous Taíno people. For the fantasy aspect, I’m pulling my inspiration from Taíno mythology. While there are some records of the rituals and culture surrounding Taíno religion, I am mostly creating my own version inspired by my Dominican upbringing and heritage. I am also featuring the now-extinct Taíno language in the book, particularly the variant native to the DR, which I am learning and reconstructing through independent linguistic research.”
Erica Diane Monson
“I am starting my Master of Fine Arts this Fall at the School of the Museum of Fine Arts at Tufts in Boston.
My work draws specifically from the value my body had in the religious institution I grew up entrenched in, though this experience is one many women face in varying religious and cultural backgrounds. I plan to continue to explore this theme in my MFA. I will be creating mixed media objects and vessels that explore the bodily worth of female bodies through the act of being able to conceive. Because the visual imagery of my work is closely tied to organic motifs, I am interested in utilizing ceramic sprigging and slip casting to construct the wombs from plant and fruit-like forms. Additionally, I am also interested in researching glaze formulations that contain plant and wood ash. While I am primarily interested in working with ceramic materials, I want to experiment with blending the rigid structures of ceramics with softer materials, such as plant matter and textiles.”
Mother’s Flower, Ceramic Stoneware, 2022
Communion Bowl at the Altar
No My Mother Conceived
Amuri Morris
“This microgrant will help my endeavors because I am desperately in need of replenishing my art supplies. I use oil paint, which can be a very expensive medium so this grant will allow me to continue working. I also am interested in expanding to traditional printmaking mediums so this grant would allow me the freedom to expand my artistic practice. In addition to expanding my mediums privately, I also would like to take a professional class. The class I am interested in is a screen printing class at a local arts organization. In addition to learning from experts, I believe that taking this class will help embed me into the local art scene and community. I believe the collective synergy from being around other creatives will fuel my inspired practice. There is a heavy financial strain associated with being a practicing artist and this would allow me to alleviate some of that pressure and help me focus on my work.”
Girl with a Pearl Hoop
Eternal Embrace
Where Red and Green Lines Meet
Many thanks to Rocio Cisneros, our Art Editor, for reviewing and judging the applications.
Donate to these community funds (specify BIPOC Artist Scholarship) to help fund the next round of scholarships.
We welcome art submissions and follow us at @exponentii_mag
Stop Punishing Women When Men Think About Sex
A popular dance aerobics class was recently cancelled at the Provo Recreation Center called “Dirtylicious Dance Fitness”. Despite being popular and well attended for years, an anonymous “gentleman” recently complained that it was inappropriate and classes have now been indefinitely cancelled. From what I can gather, it’s a fun inclusive dance class that includes moves jokingly referred to as “dirty” (like twerking, shaking your body, “drop it like it’s hot”, and shimmying), and is primarily attended by women who get together to dance to fun music and laugh. The creator is a BYU graduate whose goal was to help women gain self confidence while improving their mental and physical well-being in a non-judgmental environment. I think she had that effect, as a class participant shared her devastation with the Daily Herald after she found out it was cancelled:
“I felt as if my lifeline was being taken away with me. This class was the only thing that I did just for me. As a mother of two young boys, I am often taking care of their needs and wants before mine, taking care of the house, taking care of my husband, etc… I needed this outlet to find myself again outside of being a mom or a wife.”
I’ve had classes like that at the gym too, especially during my own years of young motherhood when my military husband was deployed for 12 to 18 months at a time. Days would pass where my only interaction with other adults came from group workout classes at my city’s recreation center, which is only 20 minutes from the Provo Recreation Center. A few days ago in a class I heard more of the background story to Dirtylicious Dance getting cancelled in Provo. The founder bent over backwards to try to find out what was wrong with the class (could she take out a specific dance move?, remove certain songs?, did an instructor say something offensive?), but received no answers. Someone had anonymously complained, the city council voted, and the city cancelled the class with no explanation or opportunity for her to adjust the class to meet their new guidelines.
Daily Herald
Someone at my gym that day spoke up in support of the cancellation and explained that there are two aerobics rooms at the Provo Recreation Center, and suggested that perhaps this class was taught in the one with big glass windows where people could see in. If some of the moves looked sexual in nature, she could understand why it had to be cancelled.
But the women in these classes were primarily moms – and *whispers*…we know that women who have babies have also had sex, right? It felt very infantilizing to hear the women talked about like children who needed to be told that their dance moves were inappropriate. (Or as Youtube commenter Big Goat1440 said, “The problem is it shouldn’t be happening. No one should see a woman doing this or showing this much skin except her husband.”)
The more I think about this situation, the more it makes sense that this happened in the densely LDS city of Provo.
Recently on our blog Instagram, I wrote about the 2013 talk by Tad Callister (President of the Seventy at the time) titled, “The Lord’s Standard of Morality”. Among other troubling remarks, he calls out women for not dressing modestly enough.
As an LDS girl, young woman and now an adult woman, I have constantly been told (by men) that female bodies are too sexual by nature and we need to cover up. If we wanted to have exercise classes at the local stake center, tank tops were banned. Because there were men at Girl’s Camp, tankinis were banned. We are always the culprit for men’s impure thoughts and responsible for what they are thinking about.
To quote myself from our Instagram account, I have some questions:
When can women start blaming men for being too attractive to us?
When will the general relief society president stand in front of the general priesthood meeting and tell the men to stop swimming without their shirts on?
When will the general young women’s president speak at a BYU devotional and call men in grey sweatpants “tentacles of the evil one” for entrapping women, as Elder Callister described immodest girls in his talk?
When will a female seminary teacher hold boys after class to warn them not to wear their mid calf shorts to class again because it distracts her while she’s teaching?
When will the ward relief society president speak to the young men’s classes and tell them the adult women in the ward will automatically picture them naked if they wear tight clothing?
And now that all sexually arousing dance classes (at least for the men peering into the windows of the aerobics room) have been banned – when will men’s football games be banned? Those pants are way too tight and leave nothing to the imagination. The dress of a man has a powerful impact on the minds and passions of women, often prompting impure thoughts – even in the mind of a young woman who is striving to be pure.
BYU Football Uniform
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July 19, 2025
“Aging” – Call for Magazine Submissions
Consider submitting to the Winter 2025 issue of the Exponent II Magazine.
The theme is “Aging”:
The Japanese philosophy of Wabi-Sabi values transformation in all things — recognizing the beauty of a cracked vase, moss growth on a building, rust-colored metal, and the many ways bodies change in time. Our scriptural canon also frequently emphasizes the passing of time (“And it came to pass . . .”). In this winter contest issue, we want to read about the kaleidoscope of aging, about the effect time has on each of us, its emotions and transformations.
How has aging changed your relationship with yourself? Tell us about those moments when you realize time has passed, when you find yourself changed, grown, aged, re-revealed to yourself. Or, if you could write to yourself at a specific time, what would you say to that other version of yourself? What might they tell you? How does aging impact our cultural and personal beliefs? How might aging change the way we see our bodies as holy sites (or the ways in which we don’t)? How does aging evolve our view of perfection?
The first-place poetry and prose winners will each receive $100. The first-place artist will receive a four-page feature in an upcoming issue.
We welcome all fiction, essays, poetry, and art that engages with aging. Please email written submissions to editor@exponentii.org by Oct 15, 2025 (see full guidelines). Authors and artists should identify with the mission of Exponent II.
Let’s Hold Potluck “Etiquette Nights”
My teens attended an LDS “Etiquette Night” awhile back. They apparently learned how to properly hold a cup, which forks to use in a formal setting, and probably to open doors for girls. The youth spent an evening practicing this, including having to drink lemon juice for each mistake. I’m not certain how else the night transported them back to the 1950s, but I’m certain it was very proper.
Since that evening, I’ve witnessed no change in their table manners. Plus, we only put out one fork at dinner, but I think we’re setting the table properly.
Not long after this activity, the ward held a potluck after Sunday services. It was miraculous! The congregation, full of adult and youth graduates of “Etiquette Nights” and their well-mannered children and siblings, displayed decorum and self-restraint. Kids pulled out chairs for their seniors, teens offered to carry and fill the plates of young children, and leftovers were packed up and given to the less fortunate.
Just kidding.
The Bishop attempted to reign in the children, who were practically foaming at the mouth. He invited the older adults and visitors to go first, offering them a chance to get some of the main course and more than a crumb of dessert before the stampede started. Kids grumbled and groaned at the unfairness of it all, but waited very little time before erupting from their chairs to race and push to the line.
And I get it. I really do. These kids just did reverent for two hours. Some traveled 20 to 40 minutes to get to church. They’re antsy, hungry, and bored. Plus, we love them and they’re pretty darn adorable.
Except, too often, these kids are so eager to get to the food and grab as much as possible, they give no thought to anyone else. They push past older, disabled, and younger members to pile plates with more food than they consume – usually multiple desserts. While some people are still waiting in line for firsts, children rush past with plates of firsts, seconds, and thirds.
Unfortunately, it’s not just at potlucks. It happens every time food is involved. When women are treated to a dessert bar during second hour on Mother’s Day, the kids are released from class to peer in anxiously at the door, then rush in and greedily grab at the food on the table. The same happens after Relief Society activities. I’ve witnessed the Young Women host a formal Mother’s Day dinner the same night at Primary and Young Men’s activities. Everyone in the building felt entitled to the food. Oddly, they didn’t feel the same way about the cleanup.
This isn’t really about the food at all, though.
I know what church potlucks are supposed to be: Opportunities to build community, share in a literal and spiritual communal feast, share our excess, bless others, and even feed the needy in our communities. Except, in my experience, potlucks too often fall short of this promise. In fact, they often bring out the worst in us.
I don’t care if kids eat multiple desserts or share in leftovers after an activity designed for someone else or demonstrate excitement over a meal. But if they aren’t learning the basic etiquette of loving, serving, and thinking of others first during these shared meals and treats, what are we doing at church?
Why don’t we take the classic Etiquette nights and worry less about formal table manners and more about loving our neighbor? Before we concern ourselves with teens-as-debutantes, let’s help them learn the basics of community, caring for the one, and gratitude. And what better place than a potluck?
Perhaps, we need Potluck Etiquette Nights. The lessons would include:
Potlucks are about community. The first question any participant should ask is, “How can I help?”Set up and clean up is communal and there are jobs for everyone. Be kind, helpful, and positive. Rotate jobs.Everyone signs up and contributes to making food. This is not just the job of women. Making and bringing food is an act of love and service that everyone should enjoy.If the same people are always cooking/bringing food, setting up, and cleaning up, it’s time to reassess your potluck and consider how to share the responsibilities. Making a potluck possible should not take people away from spiritual enrichment. Set up can happen after church classes end.Participants should be aware of the food available and the number of participants and take food accordingly.You will not experience everything at the potluck, and that’s okay. When you don’t have room on your plate or have to choose between things you enjoy, remember that others will get to enjoy the food too.Participants should look around them for people who may need assistance getting to the table, filling plates, carrying items, etc. These people should go first and feel that serving them first is a joy.Everyone is tired by the end of church and already spent two hours in helper-mode. This is a great opportunity to stretch yourself and look for a mom trying to get food for herself and a baby (and maybe a toddler too), a child struggling with the ladles, or water pitchers that need refilling.Consider how leftovers could bless others. Could plates be brought to the homeless in your community? Are there homebound members or people in the community who would enjoy food and a visit?Some churches have a monthly or quarterly free community meal. Consider what it would mean to have your potluck go beyond the congregation and how you might behave differently at this type of meal. If a meal or treat is not meant for you, wait to be invited to enjoy any leftovers. Take one and ensure that there is enough for others to enjoy in the excess. If you eat, ask how you can help clean up.Never assume that food for an activity or event is for you. Don’t pressure people for a taste or leftovers. Organizers may have a plan to share with those who didn’t attend, to send treats home with participants, etc. Always wait politely for an invitation.Above all, take this opportunity to build community by sharing, taking only what you need, helping, and showing gratitude.July 18, 2025
Now Hiring: Paid Website Support for exponentii.org
While Exponent II has always been and continues to be primarily run with volunteer labor, occasionally we find ourselves needing specialized skills that we feel should be compensated. This is one of those times. If you have experience managing or designing websites and a desire to further the mission of Exponent II, please consider applying for this part-time position.
To Apply:
Please email a resume and a cover letter to board@exponentii.org by July 31, 2025. Direct any application questions, including requests for greater detail on the possible scope of work to the same email address. Note: Advanced coding or website developer experience is not a requirement. Project management and self-directed problem-solving are must haves.
Project Goal:
Exponent II is seeking a web-savvy professional to help us improve exponentii.org to achieve greater impact and professionalism as an organization, and offer our site visitors and internal team an improved operating experience.
Project Background:
Exponent II’s website, exponentii.org, houses key information for all pillars of Exponent II — from retreat registrations, to housing the Exponent II Blog and the paid digital-version of Exponent II magazine, to managing subscriber account access for Exponent II magazine.
So far in 2025, the website has had 212,000 sessions from 131,000 unique visitors spanning ten countries — largely readers of the extremely popular Exponent II Blog.
Skills Preferred
A knowledge of WordPress
A knowledge of theme builder Elementor and WooCommerce is helpful, but not required
Experience managing websites, including an understanding of hosting issues and solutions
Excellent project management skills and the ability to communicate with team members
Knowledge of how to evaluate a website’s functionality and propose solutions for the best user experience
Experience in managing website design changes and communicating with managers and developers
Knowledge of using Google Analytics to evaluate website traffic
Stipend:
$3,000 (paid in $500/month increments from August 2025 – January 2026)
*Note: This is all the budget we have available to dedicate to this project in 2025, but the board will evaluate the possibility of a continued stipend and workstream in 2026 based on finances and organizational priorities.
I Used To Work The Streets: How Jesus Would Run The Homeless Off Without Helping.
A couple years ago, I signed up for an ambulance shift that covered the Christmas concert going on at the LDS Conference center.
It was bougie, so much nicer than sitting in an ambulance for 12 hours “roving” the streets and then waiting in empty parking lots for a 911 call that comes through the radio from dispatch.
They (Missionaries? People running the event? I am not sure.) fed us dinner along with other Police personnel, Fire Chief, Temple Square Sister Missionaries, and many older couples in dress and tie. I don’t know them, but they smile at me as
After dinner, I am escorted to the press room where my partner and I wait to be summoned by a man in a tie and an earpiece in his ear, to whatever emergency may happen in the building.
We got calls to the parking area and then to the nurses room on the first floor. One of our patients didn’t want to go to the hospital by ambulance, so we escorted her to her car with her mom to see them safely off as they made their way to the hospital by themselves.
As we headed out the doors, I was struck by how empty it was outside the conference area. People experiencing homelessness are all over Salt Lake City. They look for any overhang or safe shelter to set up camp or get a break from the weather.
I ask the security guard that accompanied us outside.
“Do you make sure there aren’t any homeless people on church property?”
“Yes, we do.”
“That’s a bit ironic.”
No comment.
I get it, the people who have settled in the city without a home are 90% chance on drugs and 90% chance carrying a weapon, usually a homemade knife of some sort, and most usually for their own safety. I know from personal experience after personal experience.
But what struck me more than anything was that most all other shelters in Salt Lake City are run by other Christian Churches. Shelters…places to stay just because…even if you are not worthy of any reward for your work…because you are that destitute and you are a human.
Other churches in the heart of Salt Lake City will open their doors up on “Blue Code” nights when temperatures drop below 18 degrees. The gorgeous-temple like- Catholic church on South Temple will open its doors for those needing to eat and sleep on those cold nights.
Author and Catholic Priest Greg Boyle said in one of my favorite books of his, Tattoos on the Heart, “churches should smell like stinky feet.” When giving a Sunday sermon to disgusted attendees, who could smell the stinky feet and bodies of the homeless that had slept there the night before.
An internet search will show that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints DOES support some of these shelters financially. They have given millions to the Red Cross and agreed to use LDS meeting houses for disaster relief. And of course there are extra non tithing donations made by the Giving Machines.
I LOVE this. I want to see more of this. I want to see a financial breakdown of all the donations the church has given and to whom they have given them. Take that light out from under a bushel and show the people what is being done with the money donated.
I don’t want to dig through news articles. I want an easy access spreadsheet provided yearly. I want to be proud of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
The difference to be noted here is disaster relief. Welfare Square does aid the destitute, but a family member who once worked there noted to me once, there are no handouts. I see the value of making people work for their food and accommodations- it’s incredibly valuable and lifting…teach a man how to fish…verse just give him one to eat. We are all about self reliance in the church and there is value in that. But there is a big gap in needs and capability.
The poor will always be among us.
I look out into the dark streets beyond temple square and know what the night brings for other co-workers as I hear a distant siren. I then turn and walk back into the elegance of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Conference Center, free from anyone who makes us uncomfortable.
Related articles:I used To Work The Streets:
The LDS Church is Like the Titanic
10 Ways the LDS Church Fails to Be Family-friendlyHelp Us Keep the Blog Running! Our blog struggles to tackle many tech issues and could use your support! Click here to make a tax deductible donation. Thank you!
July 17, 2025
Volunteer Opportunity: Exponent II Magazine Instagram Account Manager
Exponent II is looking for an Instagram Account Manager for @exponentii_mag.
This volunteer position is perfect for someone interested in supporting Exponent II’s mission and being deeply integrated in the content and production of the quarterly magazine.
The account manager will highlight the great content produced in each issue of Exponent II magazine in order to recognize our contributors, encourage submissions (art and editorial), and increase the number of Exponent II magazine subscribers. In order to build community and enthusiasm, this position should also help keep Exponent II actively engaged in the Mormon feminist art, poetry and literary community on social media, inclusive of women and gender minorities. We consider our social media account an active place to promote the work of our contributing artists and writers in an effort to help further their careers and/or personal creative aspirations. We prioritize relationship-building and championing community over virality.
Onboarding, a Canva Pro account, an overview of our marketing strategy, and design templates will be provided.
Minimum roles and responsibilities include:
Create magazine-focused content for our social media channels, primarily Instagram (@exponentii_mag) with automated cross-posting to Facebook when relevant.You will have collaboration and feedback support from the Marketing Director (Rosie Serago) and Social Media Manager (Linda Hamilton). Create posts for each piece of artwork included in each issue of Exponent II, see an exampleCreate overview reels and/or posts to highlight the content (art and or writing) in each issue of Exponent II, see example and exampleYou will have collaboration and feedback support from the Marketing Director (Rosie Serago) and the editorial team (Millie Tullis/Natasha Rogers)Comment/engage with artists, contributors, writers on Instagram from @exponentii_mag’s profile to show our engagement and support of Mormon women and gender minority creativesRespond to any comments or DMs related to content in Exponent II magazineKeep track of new Mormon artists, influencers and ProgMo accounts we should follow and connect with for marketing and cross-promotion purposes.Additional opportunities based on interest and capacity:
Work with specific artists featured in Exponent II to create reels that highlight their work or process, see example and exampleDig into Exponent II archival issues to create posts or reels about interesting past content or our 5-year history, see example. We continually like to highlight our legacy as the longest-running Mormon feminist publication. Host Instagram Lives with artists or contributors Any other creative ideas you have!To apply:
Please email a resume and cover letter to marketing@exponentii.org by July 31, 2025.
3 Steps to Manage Emotions
While Nephi was grieving the death of his father, he wrote of an onslaught of negative emotions he was feeling:
…O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorrow[s] because of my flesh; my soul grieve[s] because of mine iniquities.
…And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groan[s] because of my sins.
2 Nephi 4:17-19
Acknowledging and identifying our emotions, like Nephi did, is the first step to emotional resilience, according to the church’s Emotional Resilience curriculum, which states:
Becoming emotionally resilient requires you to [1st] acknowledge, {2nd] accept, and [3rd] respond to your emotions in a healthy way.
— Our Bodies and Our Emotions, Emotional Resilience for Self-Reliance
After Nephi acknowledged his emotions, he began to feel hope and joy again, even as he continued to mourn the loss of his father. He wrote:
Step 1: Identify your feelings
…Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
He hath filled me with his love….
2 Nephi 4:19-21
At the children’s hospital where I work, we use a feelings wheel to teach children how to identify and acknowledge their emotions. Describing feelings with words is hard for kids, and frankly, lots of us adults find it hard to talk about our feelings, too. The feelings wheel has spokes representing a wide spectrum of emotions such as happiness, sadness, fear and love, and children can simply point to the emotions they are feeling.
The hospital’s Talk to Tweens program teaches kids to follow the same steps listed in the Church’s Emotional Resilience curriculum:
Identify your feelingsAccept your feelingsRespond to your feelingsIt says:
Step 2: Accept your feelings
Learning how to name your feelings is a good first step in learning how to manage them. …Being able to distinguish a feeling is helpful because it helps you decide how you want to act. Once you can name it, you can accept it, then decide how to respond. How you manage feeling jealous may be different than how you manage feeling stressed.
— How to Use the Feelings Wheel, Intermountain Health
We recently started decorating the children’s hospital with colorful characters based on the emotions described on the feelings wheel. Since the feelings wheel is intended to identify a wide spectrum of human emotions, some of these new characters look angry, sad, or afraid.
When we first started displaying these characters around the hospital, some adults were confused. Why would we intentionally display sad and grumpy faces in our hospital? Doesn’t everyone prefer to see happy faces?
Displaying the full spectrum of emotions is one way we encourage kids to accept their feelings. At the hospital, people do experience positive emotions like hope, happiness and love, and we work hard to help people feel good when they are in our care, but a hospital is also a place where people may experience some of the saddest and scariest experiences of their lives, and we want children to know that it’s not wrong to feel their feelings. All emotions are good.
The hospital’s Talk to Tweens program teaches parents:
Some feelings are welcome, while others may feel unwelcome. Accepting feelings when they are present can be uncomfortable for tweens and adults. Helping your tween understand that all feelings are valuable and have a role will allow them to accept emotions as natural.
— Emotional Wellbeing, Intermountain Health
The Church curriculum echoes this sentiment, stating,
God’s emotions
Emotions are a normal part of our mortal experience.
— Our Bodies and Our Emotions, Emotional Resilience for Self-Reliance
I would add that, according to the scriptures, emotions are not only part of the mortal experience, but part of the godly experience.
Zephaniah wrote of God’s emotions of joy and love:
The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
Enoch wrote of God’s sadness:
And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept; and Enoch bore record of it, saying: How is it that the heavens weep, and shed forth their tears as the rain upon the mountains?
And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?
Moses 7:28-29
Enoch seemed shocked that God could experience such a negative emotion. Like many of us are prone to do when one of our loved ones is sad, he started ineffectively trying to cheer God up. He rambled on:
And were it possible that man could number the particles of the earth, yea, millions of earths like this, it would not be a beginning to the number of thy creations…and also thou art just; thou art merciful and kind forever;
And thou hast taken Zion to thine own bosom, from all thy creations, from all eternity to all eternity; and naught but peace, justice, and truth is the habitation of thy throne; and mercy shall go before thy face and have no end; how is it thou canst weep?
Moses 7:30-31
What Enoch was struggling to understand is that God’s sorrow was just as great and good an emotion as God’s joy and love, and sorrow co-existed with these more positive emotions.
As God’s children, our capacity to experience the range of human emotions, and even to experience mixed emotions like grief and joy simultaneously, is part of our legacy from God.
Wholeness during emotional health problems
God created man[kind] in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Genesis 1:27
During this mortal experience, our bodies are subject to disability and disease, and this is true for our emotions as well. Trauma and mental illness can interfere with the healthy functions of our emotions.
General Relief Society President Camille N. Johnson pointed out that while God has power to heal our afflictions:
He may not provide healing from illness and disease—chronic pain, autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis, cancer, anxiety, depression, and the like. That kind of healing is on the Lord’s time.
— Camille N. Johnson, Spiritually Whole in Him, April 2025
Notice that President Johnson accurately listed mental health problems in the same category as other chronic illnesses. In the past, mental illnesses have sometimes been mischaracterized as personal failings, when in actuality, they are medical problems like any other chronic illness.
President Johnson asks,
If healing and wholeness are not the same, can one be made spiritually whole by Him but not yet physically and emotionally healed?
— Camille N. Johnson, Spiritually Whole in Him, April 2025
And she answers her own question:
Emotions have a purpose—even anger
I can be whole while I wait for healing if I am wholehearted in my relationship with Him.
Faith in Jesus Christ begets hope. I find hope in striving to be whole—a wholeness born of faith in Jesus Christ. Faith in Him increases my hope for healing, and that hope reinforces my faith in Jesus Christ. It is a powerful cycle.
— Camille N. Johnson, Spiritually Whole in Him, April 2025
It is easier to accept our emotions when we recognize that all emotions have a purpose, even those emotions we usually characterize as negative. Fear helps us to be cautious and safe; sadness can lead us to seek love and connection.
I think people tend to be most skeptical about accepting anger, because when we respond to anger in the wrong ways, the consequences are devastating, both to others and to our own souls. But even anger has a purpose. Anger is the emotion that has motivated the many reformers of history to recognize injustice and fight for the right, and like any other emotion, we can learn to respond to anger in healthy ways.
Step 3: Respond to your feelingsDuring my mission, while assigned to an unusually difficult missionary companion, I re-read a talk by Elder Lynn G. Robbins over and over which inspired me to control the anger I was feeling toward my companion. In that talk, he challenged us to:
Make that choice today, right now: “I will never become angry again.” Ponder this resolution.
— Lynn G. Robbins, Agency and Anger, April 1998
With the evolved vocabulary I am learning about how to talk about emotions, I would now say that it is not possible or desirable to resolve to stop feeling anger. We tend to be somewhat sloppy in the way we talk about anger; when we say we got angry, sometimes we are talking about the emotions we felt, and sometimes we are talking about the inappropriate way we behaved. We can resolve to stop acting out in anger, and instead, respond to our feelings in healthy ways.
Elder Robbins taught,
A cunning part of [Satan’s] strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” …To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.”
…To those who say, “But I can’t help myself,” author William Wilbanks responds, “Nonsense.”
“Aggression, … suppressing the anger, talking about it, screaming and yelling,” are all learned strategies in dealing with anger. “We choose the one that has proved effective for us in the past. Ever notice how seldom we lose control when frustrated by our boss, but how often we do when annoyed by friends or family?”
— Lynn G. Robbins, Agency and Anger, April 1998
Corrie ten Boom, a holocaust survivor, wrote about re-meeting a Nazi prison guard after the war had ended who approached her and wanted to shake her hand. For the sake of her own emotional health, Corrie wanted to forgive this man, but all she felt was anger.
But forgiveness is not an emotion–I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. “Jesus, help me!” I prayed silently. “I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.”
And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
— Corrie ten Boom with Jamie Buckingham, Tramp for the Lord: Sequel to the Hiding Place, 1974
Dr. Lewis B. Smedes said,
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
― Lewis B. Smedes,Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve, 1984
Like forgiveness, expressing gratitude is another powerful strategy that at first glance seems to be a gift for others, but even more deeply impacts our own emotional wellbeing. I had an experience like this just this past Friday. At work, I am given a small budget for thank you gifts, and on Friday evening, I had to use that budget before it expired. I was feeling grumpy and tired and worried about writing this talk, and all I really wanted to do was turn off my work computer and start my weekend, but as I wrote the thank you notes, I felt my whole body relax, because expressing gratitude felt so good.
Another strategy to cope with difficult emotions is given in a Psalm:
Be still, and know that I am God…
Psalm 46:10
We can exercise stillness by taking a deep breath, saying a silent prayer, or by taking a break and removing ourselves from a tense situation. In the scriptures, we see repeated examples of prophets going into the mountains to commune with God, away from the hustle of daily life.
As we cope with difficult feelings, we have opportunities to become more like God. Jesus Christ was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3) and he channeled these difficult emotions to attain a perfection even beyond what he already had. Alma taught that as Christ took upon himself the same infirmities we experience, “his bowels [became] filled with mercy…that he may know… how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” (Alma 7:12)
Although Jesus Christ was already perfect, by feeling these difficult emotions he somehow developed even more empathy and power to do good. It is comforting to know that Christ understands us through his suffering, but it is empowering to realize that as we follow his example and channel our own emotions we can also become more like God. Perhaps this is why God has blessed us with the capacity to experience a wide spectrum of emotions, similar to the wide spectrum of emotions God feels. May God bless you as you feel your emotions and become more like God in the process, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
This article was originally presented as a Sacrament Meeting talk in the author’s home ward in South Jordan, Utah in June 2025.
Support your fellow writers, artists, organizers, and readers by subscribing and donating.July 16, 2025
Surgery
When I was nineteen, I performed major surgery.
I stood, in my mind’s eye, naked and shamed before a large mirror. Too many pieces of me needed refining. Needed salvation. Needed extraction. I pulled the knife, silver and gleaming in the florescent light, the hilt too heavy in my hands.
I started small, my hand shaky and unsteady. I sought a spot I thought would be easiest to forget ever existed. I cut through my music, digging out any song or sour note that wasn’t a praise to the Strength of Youth. Lyrics that spoke to my soul and filled me with joy, with connection on a cellular level. But they were wicked with dirty words and dangerous ideas. Away they went with a single slice. In the mirror, I saw it was only an ear. What did I need the extra one for anyways? I was lighter. Holier.
I moved to my closet, my knife now slick with spots of crimson. Shorts and skirts I felt so beautiful in all needed to go. They were too short, too revealing, too shameful, too lustful, too worldly. In a few minutes, they were gone and sliced, the memories of happiness in them buried deep. I assessed the mirror again. Only a few notches in my side were gone. Blood pooled and dried, but it was done and I was better.
The easiest spots done, I looked into my unholy mind in search of the ideas that I carried that simply wouldn’t do. I couldn’t be a feminist––no priesthood man would ever want me. I couldn’t believe in socialist ideals––the gospel of wealth was all-knowing. Equal rights weren’t a good ideal. Intellectualism was a slippery slope. Ambition was unbecoming. Creativity was suspect. I shoved and cut even as part of me screamed, leaving behind only the words of prophets embedded in an old seminary manual, the hope for marriage, the need for children. The blood pooled at my feet.
And so I went on with righteous precision. A nick here, a hole there. I was emptying myself so the church could fill it with something brighter, something better. Someone new. Someone I wouldn’t recognize but needed to be anyways.
I hesitated the longest with the knife over my chest. My heart. Each beat it squirmed, unprepared for its extraction. Crimson drops from the instrument dripped like rain on my breast. I needed a new heart. This one was broken, defective, unworthy. And so, I plunged the knife in. Farewell to those dreams that coiled through my nerves––to write, to explore, to create, to experience. Goodbye to those ambitions that pumped through each unrighteous artery––to have a career, to go to school, to work and find pride in it. No more of those impure desires that crisscrossed my veins; sins the lot of them.
At last, I stood before the mirror, a scene of gore and nightmares, but a smile stretched across my face. I was free from what didn’t bind me. I was worthy at last. I was finally good enough. The church would accept me now. I wouldn’t miss those pieces I’d extracted. My life spark dimmed and flickered out. But surely, I wouldn’t need it’s light anymore.
And now decades later, I sit before the same mirror and wonder who it is I see. A woman covered in scars. A woman I never wanted to be. I miss myself. I miss those pieces that made me. They’re long gone and I shouldn’t wish for their return, like a cow to it’s sick. But still the tears don’t stop. Who could I have been if I’d been allowed to be me? If I hadn’t thrown off my dreams and hopes for a God controlled by men in their patriarchal tower? Why is it all so heavy though I cut it away so long ago, like invisible chains dragged behind me?
I’ll never truly know. For I was a surgeon at only nineteen, believing I had to be. I gutted my joys for promised happiness in a life of someone else’s making. And now I sit and wish and mourn and weep.
Just another sin to be extracted.
July 15, 2025
Relief Society Lesson Plan: Disabilities
I recently lead a discussion in Relief Society about disabilities. July is Disability Pride Month, so the timing was particularly nice, but this topic could be taught at any time of the year. I used President Camille N. Johnson’s talk Spiritually Whole in Him from the April 2025 conference as a reference, however this lesson plan could easily be modified to coordinate with any talk referencing disability. (Discussions in Relief Society and Elder’s quorum are supposed to focus on topics from conference talks, not the conference talks themselves.) My goal was to create a space where women in the ward could talk and educate about the disabilities they (or their loved ones) experience.
Open the discussion by referencing the talk. When I used President Johnson’s talk, I admired how she made a beautiful distinction between physical healing and spiritual wholeness as she told the story of the ten lepers.
State that today you want to focus on the topic of disability. According to Wikipedia, more than a quarter of Americans have a disability. People with disabilities make up the largest and most diverse minority group. There’s a good chance that if you do not have a disability yourself, you have a loved one who does. Disabilities can be short-term or last a lifetime. They can be caused by a single catastrophic event, or they can create a slow, gradual decline in function. Any person may become disabled. Even though disability is very common, there are so many different types of disability that it can be hard to know what to say and how best to help. Prime the class for participation by saying that the majority of class time will be for sharing about the disabilities with which they have experience.
Show a picture of the disability flag. Discuss the flag’s symbolism:
The diagonal stripes represent how disabled people have to cut across barriers in society.Red represents physical disabilities.Yellow is for neurodiversity.White represents invisible and undiagnosed disabilities. Some disabilities can go undiagnosed for years. Invisible disabilities include diabetes, traumatic brain injury, rheumatoid arthritis, Ehlers–Danlos syndrome, endometriosis, epilepsy, celiac disease, and many others.Blue stands for emotional and psychiatric disabilities, including mental illness, anxiety, and depression.Green is for sensory disabilities such as deafness or blindness.Black represents the anger and mourning over the abuse and neglect that disabled people have to fight against.Write the following list on the board or project it onto a screen:
Tell the class that you would love to hear about any or all of the following topics:
Challenges specific to a disability they are familiar withWhat you wish people knew about the disabilityHow you wish to be supportedUseful mindsets (This one requires a bit of explanation. Talk about how feelings like anger, sadness, and frustration are normal parts of living with a disability. Disabilities can just be really crappy somedays. Those feelings will come and go. A useful mindset is something that has helped you get through rough patches so you don’t feel like you are wallowing in bitterness all the time.)Spiritually whole (This point ties back to President Johnson’s talk.)Before class I asked a spiritually mature sister who has long-term experience living with a disability if she would be willing to talk about it. She discussed all the points on the list, and then I opened up the discussion to the rest of the class. Having someone prepared to share helped set the tone for the discussion and broke the ice around sharing about a fairly vulnerable topic.
Close the discussion by coming back to the talk. I discussed how Mary Magdalene was healed by Jesus. She walked with him. She witnessed his death and resurrection. She shared her witness with others. Disabilities can help us understand Jesus and follow him. They can help us practice mourning with those that mourn and comforting those that stand in need of comfort.
I ended by sharing this poem:
Sister,
Will you… Hold my hand for a little while?
I don’t need you to save me
No need for you to fix anything
No need for you to hold my pain
But will you simply hold my hand?
I do not need your words
Your thoughts
Nor your shoulders to carry me
But will you sit here for a while with me?
Whilst my tears they stream
Whilst my heart it shatters
Whilst my mind plays tricks on me
Will you with your presence let me know that I
am not alone, whilst I wander into my inner unknown?
For my darkness is mine to face
My pain is mine to feel
And my wounds are mine to heal
But will you sit with me here, while I
courageously show up for it all my dear?
For I am bright because of my darkness
Beautiful because of my brokenness
And strong due to my tender heart
But will you take my hand lovingly, when I
sometimes journey into the dark?
I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away
I don’t expect for you to brighten my day
And I don’t believe that you can mend my pain
But I would surely love if you could sit for a while
and hold my hand,
until I find my way out of my shadowland!
So will you… Hold my hand until I return again?”
Zoe Johansen
