Exponent II's Blog, page 10

Guest Post: When the House Burns Down

Guest Post by Brianna Bustos

Photo by Bruno Guerrero on Unsplash

The other day I watched a video of someone returning to their home after a wildfire. Everything—gone. They stood there in the ashes, looking lost. Alone. Hopeless. Homeless. And I couldn’t help but think… this is what a faith crisis feels like.

Not to minimize the devastation of a physical fire—but spiritually, emotionally, navigating religion the last few years has felt like watching my childhood home catch fire.

You don’t just walk away from something like that.

You run back in.

You try to save the memories, the meaning, the structure that held your whole world.

You use every tool, every prayer, every ounce of hope you have.

But sometimes the flames are too high. And it’s not enough.

It’s not about wanting to “sin.” Or being lazy. Or not trying hard enough.

It’s about watching the roof collapse on everything you thought would protect you. The place that was supposed to be safe from the elements.

Some people see the smoke and say, just put it out. But they don’t see how long I’ve already been fighting the fire. I’m tired. I’m dusty. I’m thirsty.

And the hardest part is—even as the flames engulf my mementos, my clothes, my photo albums-I still haven’t found it in me to walk away, despite the destruction I see right in front of my face.

I’m still standing here, in the doorway.

Sifting through the ashes, searching for what might be worth saving.

Asking myself, is there enough left to rebuild?

Can this still be home?

I don’t know yet.

But I do know this:

Not all homes are physical.

And not all fires leave visible scars.

And wherever I end up—

I want it to be a place where I can breathe without inhaling ashes. I want to feel safe. I want the ground beneath me to feel steady. I want my kids to trust the walls around them.

And if the damage proves to be too much, if the flames continue to reignite, I may be forced to call it a total loss.

Brianna grew up in Southern California before moving to Boise as a teenager. She then spent about 10 years away from Boise, attending Utah State University and spending time abroad, including living in Mexico, Argentina, and Spain, where she met her now husband. She and her husband moved back to Boise in 2018, and have since been joined by two adorable little boys. Brianna is a passionate person who enjoys just about anything she can do with the people she loves, such as cooking and sharing food with family and friends, spending time outside, and having spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen.

This Week! Join the Launch Party for the “Pride” Issue of Exponent II

Join us for our launch party for the upcoming issue of Exponent II magazine on July 10th at 6 p.m. MT / 8 p.m. ET. In this issue we explore the theme of “pride” ranging from stories of aspiring Mormon women to LGBTQ+ writing, artwork and poetry.

Register for the Zoom link at tinyurl.com/exiiparty

Agenda:

Cover revealLetter from the Editor Presentations
Writers read a portion of their work and artists discuss their piecesQ&A with contributors

Join us for a sneak peek of this outstanding issue and to honor all of our amazing writers and artists!

The feature image is a conceptual mockup with art by M. Alice Abrams, who will have an artist feature in this issue.

Guest Post: Uncomplicating Mormon Motherhood

Guest Post by Juliet Miller

Photo by Bethany Beck on Unsplash

I have a hot take on motherhood.  My hot take is that it’s really not all that complicated.

I’m not saying it isn’t messy or really hard sometimes, but think about what women say when they describe motherhood as being complicated.

“I like being a stay at home mom, but sometimes I just can’t wait to be alone.”

Or

“Being a mother is the most important thing to me, but my career feels like an essential part of who I am.”

Or

“I love my kids but I crave adult interactions.”

When we call motherhood complicated, what we are saying is that even though we enjoy it, we don’t want to devote all of our emotional, mental, and physical energy to it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, from now until the moment we drop dead.

And that isn’t a standard we hold for anything, or anybody, else.

If you went to get ice cream with a friend, and they mentioned that mint chip was their absolute favorite, but they ended up going with the vanilla, would you say “wait a second- you just said that mint chip was your favorite, but you must have been lying because if it was really your favorite, you would choose it every single time”?

If somebody professed that they loved to paint, but wanted to take days or even weeks away from it at times, would that mean that they didn’t take their craft seriously?  Would it mean they weren’t worthy to call themselves a painter?

And if a man said that his family was the most important thing to him, but that he enjoyed his alone time, or valued his career, or wanted to play golf with his friends one weekend a month instead of being on baby duty, would anybody accuse him of not being a good father?  Would any man feel the need to apologize?  Would any of us call that complicated?

Of course not.  Because it’s not complicated.  It’s normal, it’s natural, it’s obvious…at least when an ice cream eater does it, or a painter does it, and of course, when a father does it.

But when a mother does it, it’s complicated. The only way to prove that we love motherhood is to enjoy doing it constantly.

And a “good” Mormon woman does do it constantly.

In 1987, Ezra Taft Benson gave a talk titled “to the mothers in Zion”. In it he lists ten ways that mothers should spend time with their children. I’m going to share a few of them.

First, he says to always, and he does use the word “always”, be at the crossroads- to be home whenever your child is coming or going. Whenever they leave or come home from school or from a date.  If you add that up, that’s almost every morning, almost every afternoon, and many evenings and late nights.  Oh, he also says you should be home when they bring friends over.  Thank goodness kids never do that unannounced. And you should do this whether they are “six or sixteen”.

Every morning and every night you should be having family prayer (under the direction of your husband.)  Additionally make sure you are having family home evening once a week (under the direction of your husband.) You should also be reading scriptures every day, and mealtimes should be spent together as well.

These are the things for which he gives concrete descriptions of the time to be spent engaged in each one,  but on top of that you should be spending time reading with your children and teaching your children and doing things as a family.  Oh and last of all, we’re told to take the time to truly love our children.

He concludes his talk by saying, and I quote

“ I promise you the blessings of heaven and “all that [the] Father hath” (see D&C 84:38) as you magnify the noblest calling of all—a mother in Zion.”

Take the idea that in order to truly love their children women need to spend all of their time doing it, inject the prophetic confirmation that, yes, ALL of your time is what is required, and then tie it off with the bow of “this is how you get to heaven”, and we are left with a task that feels impossible, yet is SUPPOSED to feel easy, natural and innate. And who does the woman have left to blame other than herself for this discrepancy?

It’s not complicated. It’s the patriarchy, plain and a simple.

Juliet Miller is a radical Mormon and a devout feminist. Follow her on instagram @angryfeministcookies.

The Holy One Employs No Servant

I was struggling with what to write about today, and I toyed with the idea of just asking ChatGPT to write my post for me. I’ve only used it once – for a cover letter for a job that I ended up not getting, so I’ve been a bit soured on it. Plus, I’ve read too many high-profile cases where AI has made up legal citations that have ended up getting filed in legal briefs.

I’ve talked with colleagues about what we think artificial intelligence will do to our jobs. Many of my colleagues are nearing retirement, so they’re unconcerned because they’ll be out of the workforce before any major changes.

I’ve done some pondering on the topic, and I think my job is safe. Law is a slow to change profession; email was still controversial when I was in law school 15 years ago, and there’s still a split among lawyers on whether it’s appropriate to text clients. I think due process requires that a case be decided by a human, not a computer, so I don’t think we’ll end up with robot judges. Part of the value I add to the process is that I review evidence from both sides, listen to testimony, weigh it, and make an ultimate determination. No poorly-trained inflexible algorithm decides the fate of those before me.

My job as a mortal judge got me to thinking in a church context about spiritual judges. Would AI ever replace the bishop in deciding temple recommend status or other church status? Doubtful, but even so, I then started thinking about the final judgment.

1 Nephi 9 discusses the final judgment, and verse 41 says in part: “[T]he keeper of the gate is the Holy One of Israel; and he employeth no servant there; and there is none other way save it be by the gate”. When our souls are judged, we will meet with God. Not a robot, not a bishop, not an angel, but the Almighty alone.

We will each get a personal assessment based upon our individual thoughts, actions, motivations, and circumstances. God’s ways are not our ways, and God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Many people in the church use that saying to mean that God is stricter and meaner than we are, but I think it means that God is more merciful and expansive than we are. The scriptures teach that God is love.

If God is love, and we will be judged by God, then it follows that we will be judged by Love. How well do we love our neighbors? How well do we love truth? How well do we love beauty, nature, life itself? Artificial intelligence can’t decide that. Humans can’t decide that. Only God can. As someone who doesn’t fit the mold at church, I take great comfort in knowing that it’s not my adherence to a checklist of things outside my control that decides my eternal fate. It’s God who decides, based upon my adherence to the great commandment, to love.

Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 77-80 “I Will Lead You Along”

In this lesson regarding Doctrine and Covenants 77-80, we will discuss how we can draw nearer to the Lord and how we can experience greater peace, joy, and happiness by helping those in need and living in a spirit of gratitude. We will review what the Lord has taught about generosity and helping those who suffer. We will also discuss the proven benefits of gratitude and ways we can avoid toxic positivity.  The Lord promises that He will lead us along and that the riches of eternity are ours.

God promises He will lead us along.

Have someone read:

D&C 78: 17-18:  “Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you; And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.”

What do you think this means: “Ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you”?





Why would a loving God want to give us “great blessings?” What kind of blessings do we receive that may not be temporal in nature?





What does the promise that “the riches of eternity are yours” mean to you?
Have you ever felt a Higher Power lead you along? How has this helped you in your life? 





When the Lord calls us “little children,” what does that mean to you?  What have you learned from little children? What qualities do children have that are worth emulating?





How does seeing ourselves and others as God’s beloved children change our perspective on ourselves and others? 





How can we reconcile agency and the concept that God will “lead us along”? How could both be possible? 

The United Firm was organized to help the poor and to build Zion.

Two years after the Church was founded, Church leaders met to discuss how they could better organize Church business. They created the United Firm (or United Order) that would oversee the printing press and storehouse to prepare His children to receive “a place in the celestial world” and “the riches of eternity.” Unlike the later United Order, in the United Firm, business owners still retained the deed to their properties. Joseph hoped the Firm’s income would help with the publication cost of scriptures in Missouri, and it also began purchasing properties in Kirtland, Ohio, and  Independence, Missouri, for the building of Zion, and for the Kirtland temple. Some donated their properties to the Church as well. Meanwhile, Joseph and Sidney Rigdon were working on the inspired version of the Bible. Unfortunately, the Firm became debt-ridden and dissolved two years later. 

In Section 78, the Lord said that a “storehouse for the poor” should be established. He said the storehouse would be (ask someone to read)

“a permanent and everlasting establishment and order unto my church, to advance the cause, which ye have espoused, to the salvation of man, and to the glory of your Father who is in heaven; That you may be equal in the bonds of heavenly things, yea, and earthly things also, for the obtaining of heavenly things. For if ye are not equal in earthly things ye cannot be equal in obtaining heavenly things.” (D&C 78: 5-7).

What do you think God means when He says, “If ye are not equal in earthly things ye cannot be equal in obtaining heavenly things?”





Why do you think God said that the storehouse for the poor would be a “permanent and everlasting establishment”?





What does the Church currently do to help the poor?
Should we only help those who belong to the Church? Why or why not?





What can we do to help those who suffer or those who are poor?





How would helping the poor “advance… the salvation of man and to the glory of the Father who is in heaven?”





How can we help others who need comfort, succor, and care?
When has someone comforted or cared for you when you needed help?
How did that bless your life?

Pres. Russell M. Nelson:  “Our Heavenly Father is concerned for [the poor and needy]. They are all his children. … The poor—especially widows, orphans, and strangers—have long been the concern of God and the godly. … To those who cared for the poor, blessings were promised” (“In the Lord’s Own Way,” Ensign, May 1986, 25).

Ask someone to read:

 Matthew 25: 37-40: “Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

“When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

“Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

What categories of people does Jesus say we should serve in this scripture?
Who are the hungry and thirsty? Who are strangers? Who are naked and sick? Who is imprisoned? How can we serve those in these categories? 

 Mosiah 4: 25 “Ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally.”

Alma, the leader of the Church, describes a time when the Church prospered. As this Scripture is read, notice who the Church helped and consider how this relates to Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 25. 

Alma 1: 29 And now, because of the steadiness of the church they began to be exceedingly rich, having abundance of all things whatsoever they stood in need—an abundance of flocks and herds, and fatlings of every kind, and also abundance of grain, and of gold, and of silver, and of precious things, and abundance of silk and fine-twined linen, and all manner of good homely cloth.

30 And thus, in their prosperous circumstances, they did not send away any who were naked, or that were hungry, or that were athirst, or that were sick, or that had not been nourished; and they did not set their hearts upon riches, therefore they were liberal to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, whether out of the church or in the church, having no respect to persons as to those who stood in need.

Bishop H. David Burton, Presiding Bishop: “The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that it is our responsibility ‘to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church or in any other, or in no church at all, wherever he finds them’ (Times and Seasons, 15 Mar. 1842, 732). May we be generous with our time and liberal in our contributions for the care of those who suffer” (“Go, and Do Thou Likewise,” Ensign, May 1997, 77).

“The Biological Roots of Generosity Research suggests that, thanks to evolution, humans are born with the biological “hardware” required for generosity. In particular, we have brain circuits and hormone systems in place and at the ready that help us help others—and make us feel good while doing so. Brain structure and activity There is growing evidence that the human brain is wired for generosity. Several studies have found evidence that when people help others, their brains show activity in fundamental neural circuits such as those that underlie parental caregiving (Swain et al., 2012) [110]. Acting generously also appears to stimulate the neural circuits involved in reward, the same circuits that are activated when we eat food or have sex, which helps to explain why giving feels good. This neural response is also a sign that generosity is important for survival—when an act feels good, we’re more likely to do it again—and thus, thanks to evolution, the behaviors that are most fundamental to our survival also tend to make us feel good. For example, one study found that parts of the brain called the mesolimbic reward system, which are activated by stimuli like sex, drugs, food, and receiving money, are also engaged when people make charitable donations (Moll et al., 2006) [728]; what’s more, in another study, participants’ brains showed activity in reward-processing areas even when they were forced to give to others (although neuralactivity was even higher when they donated voluntarily” (p. 12).

We can receive all things with thankfulness: The science and blessings of gratitude.

Ask someone to read Doctrine and Covenants 78: 19:

“And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.”

Have any of you had any experiences where gratitude has blessed your life? If you have, how did gratitude help you?

Do you think the blessings described in D&C 78 are temporal, spiritual, or something else?

(The following questions could also be used by dividing the class into groups and then asking small groups to discuss the questions and then share their thoughts.)

Have someone read Philippians 4: 6-7.

“Be careful for nothing (anxious about nothing); but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

How can gratitude help us experience greater peace?
Have you had a time when gratitude brought you peace, even when your circumstances were difficult?
Do you know anyone who is particularly grateful? What have you learned from them?

We can carefully choose words that show compassion and kindness when others are experiencing trials. By avoiding toxic positivity and showing empathy, we can comfort those who need comfort and help others find peace during hard times.

Some examples of statements to avoid and to share include:

Toxic Statements

Just stay positive!



Good vibes only!



It could be worse.



Things happen for a reason.



Failure isn’t an option.



Happiness is a choice.

Non-Toxic Alternatives

I’m listening.



I’m here no matter what.



That must be really hard.



Sometimes bad things happen. How can I help?



Failure is sometimes part of life.



Your feelings are valid.

Chieko Okasaki gave an outstanding General Conference talk that highlights the blessings of listening to one another with empathy. Notice how she is grateful for the things women taught her as she listened and learned from them.

She said:”Let us rejoice with each other, listen to each other, learn from each other, and help each other apply those principles as we deal with our different circumstances, different cultures, different generations, and different geographies…

“For six years now, I have been listening to the Relief Society women of the Church. I have learned from all of them. I have learned from divorced mothers who are struggling to raise their children alone. I have learned from women who long to be married but are not, from women who yearn for children but cannot bear them, from women who are at risk from emotional and physical abuse in their homes. I have learned from women who work in their homes and women who work outside their homes. I have learned from women who endure chemical dependencies, experiences of childhood sexual abuse, and chronic illness.”Not many of these women thought they were giving me a gift. Most of them thought they were asking for help. But all of them blessed me as I listened and learned from them.”

As you reflect on Sister Okasaki’s remarks, why do you think she said she was blessed by women who shared accounts of their suffering with her?
What can we learn from those who are different from us?
How can we become better listeners so that we can “learn from each other”?

Scientific research on the benefits of gratitude:

‘Besides enhancing self-love and empathy, gratitude significantly impacts on body functions and psychological conditions like stress, anxiety, and depression.

1. Gratitude releases toxic emotions.

“The limbic system is the part of the brain that is responsible for all emotional experiences. It consists of the thalamus, hypothalamus, amygdala, hippocampus, and cingulate gyrus. Studies have shown that hippocampus and amygdala, the two main sites regulating emotions, memory, and bodily functioning, get activated with feelings of gratitude.

“A study conducted on individuals seeking mental health guidance revealed that participants of the group who wrote letters of gratitude besides their regular counseling sessions, felt better and recovered sooner (Wong et al., 2018).

“The other group in the study that was asked to journal their negative experiences instead of writing gratitude letters reported feelings of anxiety and depression.

2. Gratitude reduces pain.

“Counting Blessings vs Burdens (Emmons & McCullough, 2003), a study conducted on evaluating the effect of gratitude on physical wellbeing, indicated that 16% of the patients who kept a gratitude journal reported reduced pain symptoms and were more willing to work out and cooperate with the treatment procedure. A deeper dig into the cause unleashed that by regulating the level of dopamine, gratitude fills us with more vitality, thereby reducing subjective feelings of pain.

3. Gratitude improves sleep quality

“Studies have shown that receiving and displaying simple acts of kindness activates the hypothalamus, and thereby regulates all bodily mechanisms controlled by the hypothalamus, out of which sleep is a vital one.

“Hypothalamic regulation triggered by gratitude helps us get deeper and healthier sleep naturally everyday. A brain filled with gratitude and kindness is more likely to sleep better and wake up feeling refreshed and energetic every morning (Zahn et al., 2009).

4. Gratitude aids in stress regulation

“McCraty and colleagues (cited in McCraty & Childre, 2004), in one of their studies on gratitude and appreciation, found that participants who felt grateful showed a marked reduction in the level of cortisol, the stress hormone. They had better cardiac functioning and were more resilient to emotional setbacks and negative experiences.

“Significant studies over the years have established the fact that by practicing gratitude we can handle stress better than others. By merely acknowledging and appreciating the little things in life, we can rewire the brain to deal with the present circumstances with more awareness and broader perception.

5. Gratitude reduces anxiety and depression

“By reducing the stress hormones and managing the autonomic nervous system functions, gratitude significantly reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety. At the neurochemical level, feelings of gratitude are associated with an increase in the neural modulation of the prefrontal cortex, the brain site responsible for managing negative emotions like guilt, shame, and violence.

As a result, people who keep a gratitude journal or use verbal expressions for the same, are more empathetic and positive minded by nature.”

Has gratitude ever helped you in any of the above ways? Can you share examples of when it has (or has not) helped?
How can we experience gratitude while avoiding the pitfalls of toxic positivity?

Former General Relief Society President Bonnie D. Parkin said:

Luke chapter 17 records the experience of the Savior when He healed 10 lepers. As you recall, only one of the cleansed lepers returned to express his appreciation. Isn’t it interesting that the Lord did not say, “Your gratitude has made you whole”? Instead, He said, “Thy faith hath made thee whole.”

The leper’s expression of gratitude was recognized by the Savior as an expression of his faith. As we pray and express gratitude to a loving but unseen Heavenly Father, we are also expressing our faith in Him. Gratitude is our sweet acknowledgment of the Lord’s hand in our lives; it is an expression of our faith.

She concludes her talk with this inspiring testimony:

“My most profound gratitude is for my Savior—an obedient Son, who did all that His Father asked and atoned for every one of us. As I remember Him and acknowledge His goodness, I desire to be like Him. May we be blessed to feel of His love in our lives daily. “Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.”

 

Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 76: “Great Shall Be Their Reward and Eternal Shall Be Their Glory”

Doctrine and Covenants 76 describes a revelation introducing the concept of the Celestial, Terrestrial and Telestial Kingdoms of Heaven to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In this lesson plan, we’ll discuss the unique circumstances of this vision, how people reacted to it, and review the Plan of Salvation as we know it today.

In this Lesson Plan:Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon’s Vision of the Three Degrees of GloryNot Everyone Feels the Same about the Three Degrees of GloryCharting the Plan of SalvationAdult/Youth ActivityChildren’s ActivityJoseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon’s Vision of the Three Degrees of Glory

Doctrine and Covenants 76 records a revelation about the afterlife. In February 1832, Joseph Smith had a question about the concepts of Heaven and Hell.

From sundry revelations which had been received, it was apparent that many important points, touching the Salvation of man, had been taken from the Bible, or lost before it was compiled. It appeared self evident from what truths were left, that if God rewarded every one according to the deeds done in the body, the term “heaven”, as intended for the Saints eternal home, must include more kingdoms than one.

—Joseph Smith, Joseph Smith Papers, 25 January-16 February 1832

The answer came in the form of a vision experienced jointly by Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon. About a dozen other men were present in the room but did not see the vision, including Philo Dibble, who reported:

The vision which is recorded in the Book of Doctrine and Covenants was given at the house of Father Johnson, in Hyrum, Ohio, and during the time that Joseph and Sidney were in the spirit and saw the heavens open, there were other men in the room, perhaps twelve, among whom I was one during a part of the time—probably two-thirds of the time, —I saw the glory and felt the power, but did not see the vision. The events and conversation, while they were seeing what is written (and many things were seen and related that are not written,) I will relate as minutely as is necessary.

Joseph would, at intervals, say: “What do I see?’ as one might say while looking out the window and beholding what all in the room could not see. Then he would relate what he had seen or what he was looking at.

Then Sidney replied, “I see the same.”

Presently Sidney would say “What do I see?” and would repeat what he had seen or was seeing, and Joseph would reply, “I see the same.”

This manner of conversation was repeated at short intervals to the end of the vision, and during the whole time not a word was spoken by any other person. Not a sound nor motion made by anyone but Joseph and Sidney, and it seemed to me that they never moved a joint or limb during the time I was there, which I think was over an hour, and to the end of the vision.

Joseph sat firmly and calmly all the time in the midst of a magnificent glory, but Sidney sat limp and pale, apparently as limber as a rag, observing which, Joseph remarked, smilingly, “Sidney is not used to it as I am.”

—Philo Dibble, Recollections of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Juvenile Instructor, May 15, 1892

Can you think of other examples in scripture or church history where revelation has come in response to questions about doctrine?

Doctrine and Covenants 76 expands on Paul’s words:

40 There are also celestial bodies, and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another.

41 There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory.

42 So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:

43 It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power:

44 It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.

1 Corinthians 15:40-44

While the vision of the three degrees of glory, offered a very different view of the afterlife than the Heaven/Hell dichotomy common to most sects of Christianity during Joseph Smith’s time, it melded with a more merciful view of the afterlife embraced by the Universalist faith.

The view of the afterlife laid out in “the Vision” contrasted starkly with the beliefs of most Christians at the time. A majority believed in a strict heaven-and-hell theology of the world to come: those obedient to the gospel of Jesus Christ would be saved, but the wicked would be consigned to eternal punishment. However, there were a growing number who felt that this view was inconsistent with other biblical teachings about God’s mercy, justice, and power to save.

For example, a young Congregationalist named Caleb Rich became troubled when his minister taught that Christ would have a mere few “trophies of his Mission to the world, while his antagonist would have countless millions.” Rich feared that his own spiritual “situation appeared more precarious than a ticket in a lottery.” He eventually rejected his minister’s doctrine and embraced what is known as Universalism. Simply put, Universalists believed that God would not eternally punish sinners but that all would eventually be saved in God’s kingdom. Joseph Smith’s father and his grandfather Asael Smith held Universalist views.

—Matthew McBride, “The Vision” Revelations in Context

Can you think of other examples of inspired teachings found in other faith communities which have inspired LDS church leaders?Not Everyone Feels the Same about the Three Degrees of Glory

While this vision described good news: that our merciful God would save everyone in a Kingdom of Glory, the doctrine was difficult for some to accept at the time it was revealed.

“It was a great trial to many,” Brigham Young remembered. “Some apostatized because God … had a place of salvation, in due time, for all.”

Young himself had difficulty accepting the idea: “My traditions were such, that when the Vision came first to me, it was directly contrary and opposed to my former education. I said, Wait a little. I did not reject it; but I could not understand it.”

His brother Joseph Young also confessed, “I could not believe it at first. Why the Lord was going to save every body.”

…Joseph Young remembered, “After I had prayed over it and Joseph had explained it I could see it was nothing but good sense accompanying the power of God.”

Brigham Young had to “think and pray, to read and think, until [he] knew and fully understood it for [himself].”

—Matthew McBride, “The Vision” Revelations in Context

Why is it sometimes hard to accept changed teachings in the church, even when the change is positive?How can we adapt to changes in church doctrines and policies?

Notice that for some early church members, the concept of virtually everyone receiving a degree of glory felt too merciful.

Why do we sometimes resent that other people receive mercy from God?How can we change this attitude?

Ask class members to retell the parables of the Workers in the Vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16) and the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32).

How do these parables relate to the concerns early church members expressed about virtually all people eventually being saved in a kingdom of glory?How can we overcome a tendency to resent God’s mercy toward people who have sinned?

Read the reactions of these modern women who converted to the church and learned about the three degrees of glory for the first time.

Section 76 of the Doctrine and Covenants clarifies important aspects of the plan of salvation that were lost from the earth during the Apostasy. For many people, learning these restored truths for the first time is a memorable experience. This was the case for Connie, a convert from Richmond, Virginia, USA.

She recalls: “I had always seen God’s love when reading the Bible, but I could never find any church that taught it the way I understood it. When I had the missionary lesson on the plan of salvation, I felt so vindicated and a peace like I had never felt before. I thought to myself, ‘That is the Heavenly Father I know.’ Learning about the degrees of glory opened my mind so wide I could hardly contain my excitement to learn more.”

Delphine, a convert from Paris, France, has a difficult family situation, so when the missionaries taught her that families can live together in the celestial kingdom, she wasn’t sure she wanted that. As the missionaries continued to teach her about the three degrees of glory, however, she was comforted. She learned that she will get to be with those she loves who chose to follow the gospel. With a better understanding of the plan of salvation, she said, “I found it much more just, and that reassured me.”

—Hearing about the Three Degrees of Glory for the First Time, Liahona, July 2021

Do either of their reactions resonate with you? Why or why not?How can we empathize with people who feel differently about church doctrines that we do?Charting the Plan of Salvation

Doctrine and Covenants 76 provides the finale to the Plan of Salvation as it is understood by church members today. Take this opportunity to review the Plan of Salvation with one of the two activities below.

Adult/Youth Activity

Divide the chart below into 5 pieces, and give each piece to a member of the class or a group of class members. Ask each class member or group to read the scriptures on their part of the chart and explain them to the class, in this order:

Intelligence/Pre-Earth LifeEarth LifeDeath/Spirit WorldResurrection/Final JudgmentCelestial, Terrestrial, Telestial Kingdoms and Outer Darkness Charting the Plan, New Era, July 2006 Children’s Activity

Print and cut out the symbols below representing components of the Plan of Salvation. Invite the children to work together to put the pieces in order.

Linda Christensen, My Life Is a Gift; My Life Has a Plan, Friend Magazine, January 2008

The Quilt: Layers of Meaning and Losing My Faith

My mom is a gifted quilter. She started the tradition of giving each of her grandkids a personalized quilt at each of their baptisms when her first grandchild turned eight (roughly eight years ago).

Our oldest was baptized in January 2020. My husband performed the ordinances, and I got to be an official witness. Framed pictures of our son holding the Book of Mormon lined tables scattered with food; this ritual was well on its way to being a precious memory for our whole family, continuing a generations-long tradition.

My mom presented his quilt at his baptism. Various fabrics that reflected my son’s interests were cut into the shape of books. Some included “CTR”, the Angel Moroni, and depictions of temples sewn on their covers. The design included repetitive patterns and were methodical and predictable, much like our beliefs at the time. Many hours of both planning and labor went into this work of art. Other grandkids’ quilts have similar LDS themes and personal touches. It remains a treasure, at least in my mind, but truthfully, I couldn’t even tell you where it is in our home right now.

Screenshot

Just months later, the pandemic took over the world. Our little family stayed physically healthy through it all, but my mind and heart and soul were being held over the fire, fighting to stay in the church. In-person church was on hold, but we continued to practice, even if it looked differently with our daughter insisting on passing the sacrament to her brothers and parents. I was released from my calling in the Young Women presidency as activities were canceled. We eventually went back to in-person church, but it became too painful to sit through lessons that focused on doubters and how dangerous they are.

It was at church that I was grateful for wearing a mask to shield my red face and catch my tears. I could feel my faith transforming into something that didn’t match what was taught over the pulpit or in lesson books. I often thought, “Where is Christ in this place?” and I raised concerns from time to time. I yearned for more knowledge about Joseph Smith’s wives and their stories. I felt embarrassed that the church’s homepage featured a countdown to President Nelson’s birthday celebration instead of featuring Jesus Christ, whom we claimed to revere and worship. In sacrament meeting I sat quietly in protest instead of singing “Praise to the Man.” I angered at the church’s policies of our LGBTQ+ community. I questioned the decisions being made at the top of the church hierarchy and wondered if any women were in the room where it happened.

In the summer of 2022, I had the painful and nerve-wracking conversation with my parents that our family would no longer be attending church. I expected them to verbalize their disappointment in this decision, but thankfully, they handled the news with grace and love. With tears streaming down my face, I pleaded with my mom to please not penalize our other two kids by not making them quilts even though they would not be getting baptized at age eight. It was the only thing I asked for in that difficult conversation. She assured me that she would still get their quilts made.

Our daughter turned eight, but there was no baptism scheduled. We tried to cover that sore wound by throwing money at a giant birthday party with everyone she knew. I’d never seen so many presents.

No white dress. No pictures holding the Book of Mormon. No ritual. No covenants. No ordinances.

And no quilt.

I would be lying if I said that I was fine. I was not fine. I had a lot of meltdowns and moments of mourning leading up to her January birthday. Invitations to her friends’ baptisms had been rolling in; my fear of her feeling isolated in our Utah neighborhood were glaring. I hid many of these and tossed them in the recycling bin. I worried about her and I don’t know if hiding invitations was the right move. We were the first in five or so generations to opt out of baptism, and that was synonymously freeing and gut-wrenching. My daughter was unaware of this quilt that I stewed over, and for that I was grateful. She wasn’t waiting for this physical manifestation of love and acceptance like I was.

Nieces and nephews were getting baptized, and I’d get pictures in the family group chat of my mom holding their beautiful quilts. My heart would shatter, seeing that these younger, out-of-state cousins were receiving their quilts. I addressed this with my mom and let her know how painful it was for me, especially receiving texts and pictures of her quilts for her active LDS grandchildren. I offered to help her with the design of the quilt if she needed ideas. She assured me that my daughter’s quilt was coming but was just taking longer. I was beginning to not believe her.

Our daughter turned ten this year. She had a small party with close friends, and my parents asked if they could come over to give her a present.

It was her quilt.

And it was the most beautiful quilt I had ever seen. The colors and flower patterns showcased my daughter’s personality perfectly. The design was intricate and colorful, even a bit chaotic, but in the best way, much like our beliefs now. I asked that it not be religious, but encouraging and values-based, and my mom honored that ask. It has phrases that I imagine my mom wants for her granddaughter that I even identify as blessings for her:

Have faith
Make time for yourself
You are funny, beautiful, crazy loved
With brave wings, she flies
One blessed and precious life
Choose happiness
Love deeply
Be kind

I am relieved that my daughter has her own special quilt because she should never feel less than for not being baptized. I’ll be damned if she ever feels unworthy of love based on church attendance. To me, this quilt symbolizes my mom’s love for our family despite us paving our own path deviating from tradition. The fears and panic I felt in the last few years concerning our decision to leave the church have nearly ceased. My children’s friends are still their friends. My community has not banished us. The world has kept spinning and we are living life outside of what was expected. Like my daughter’s quilt, we are a little more chaotic and don’t have a set pattern or timeline for what life will look like as the kids grow. But my life is beautiful, layered with interconnectedness and resilience. I may have lost faith, but I have not lost love.

From the Backlist: Bloggers Discuss the LDS Church Compensating Social Media Influencers

An inactive instagram influencer was reached out to by a third party marketing team representing the LDS church. They offered her compensation to make content that met specific criteria. Here is an image of what was requested:

She leaked the information through her instagram account. The church reached out to her and said that she shouldn’t have received this invitation. The marketing team made a mistake; they were supposed to confirm that she was an active member first. She said the conversation was cordial and went well. Regardless, the campaign does exist and it has been creating some buzz on social media.

Members and non members alike are concerned about the authenticity of such testimonies if they are being paid for. Some are worried about the criteria, like the request to avoid the terms “Mormon” and “LDS,” while others question the lack of transparency coming from the church.

LDS influencers defend the campaign, suggesting that content creators have specific skill sets and talents that deserve to be compensated. They also argue that there is a difference between the church paying influencers to post on their personal account, versus compensating them for contributing to church owned content that will be displayed on the church’s own accounts.

Some Exponent II bloggers weighed in with their thoughts:

Kara Stevenson

I find it odd that the church is requesting that the terms “mormon,” “lds,” and “latter-day saint” be avoided. They only want “the church of christ” to be used. Are we ashamed or embarrassed of who we are? Or do they know that some won’t give the church a chance if they know it is Mormon? If the latter is true, why are they choosing deception over honesty? It reminds me of the missionary ads that pop up on my facebook feed. They’ll use the terms “come unto christ” and invite people to church, yet nowhere is it clearly stated which church they are affiliated with. What is the strategy, exactly? To get people in the pews and hope they don’t notice? Last I checked, I thought satan was supposed to be the great deceiver, not the church that is claiming to be the one and only true church of christ.

I don’t find it inherently wrong to pay influencers for their talents. But I do find it odd how much these influencers are insisting that the church is not paying them, simply because the church is using a third party. It feels disingenuous; like desperate apologetics. You can defend the campaign and argue that you deserve compensation. There is nothing wrong with having that opinion. But please, be honest about what is going on here.

Candice Wendt

A big red flag here is the insistence on the use of “Church of Jesus Christ,” disallowing even the full name and other traditional references. 

In recent years I’ve noticed the Church dropping “of Latter-day Saints” and focusing on the claim that we’re literally Jesus’s ancient Church restored, the one legit. org. that rightfully bears his name. Patrick Mason says this wasn’t the original framing or intent when it was founded by Joseph Smith, and that this assertion has largely arisen just in the past couple decades. Smith actually saw “restoration” as the work of gathering God’s people together, not restoring one small fragment of that from the past such as Jesus’s original church.

To me, it feels like a real bait and switch to use the highly generic term “Church of Jesus Christ,” and invite people to attend Church without using the full name. We should be open, direct and honest about who we are. Is the Church ashamed of its own history, of things like plural marriage? If so, it should actually deal with these things instead of avoiding them. 

The LDS Church hasn’t yet grown out of an old fashioned Protestant-type mindset of seeking to compete with other churches for legitimacy. The same kind of competitive context that motivated Joseph Smith to seek divine guidance in selecting a Church. That was two hundred years ago. In the 21st century, it’s time to move on from this. Claiming a monopoly on God isn’t so inspiring to people today. Other churches are moving on and seeking to rebuild community life.

It grates on me that the influencers are invited to share about how rich and supportive the LDS community is. In my ward, the annual ward bbq last summer was replaced with a “Covenant Path” activity to motivate new members to go to the temple. We’re not doing great with community life at all. It used to be good, but it has really gone downhill. New converts join my ward almost every week, but almost none stick around because there are so few activities and so few opportunities to make friends or feel seen.

I also wonder why missionaries can’t receive a stipend for their full time jobs if the Church is willing to pay young influencers to bear testimony and bring people to Church. This is inconsistent and unfair. At the very least, serving a mission should be free. We donate free labor, the Church provides room, boarding, and necessities. The labor should be treated as something of immense worth rather than an expectation that is taken for granted.

Amy

It’s also very interesting and unsurprising that this whole proposal is from a hired marketing team so that if anything suspect happens (like this inactive influencer’s example…), the church can have plausible deniability. 

Melissa

My dad grew up with a record that had the lyrics, “I’m a Mormon, yes I am! And if you want to see a Mormon, I’m a living specimen!” Then not too long ago the church hit the “I’m a Mormon” campaign pretty hard. Point being, we have always pushed what it is to be “Mormon” so much so, that inside and outside of the United States, that is how people know The Church.

I have a Peruvian friend that is teaching here in the U.S. She was happily waiting in line for a famous Bear Lake shake and heard a guy talking. She asked, “Oh, are you Mormon?” He responded in anger that it was rude and impolite to call him and other members “Mormon” and should only be referred to as LDS or members of “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.” She was confused and embarrassed. She told me that in Peru, that is how everyone knows the church and was under the impression that it was not bad.

The church has paid thousands? Millions? To push what it means to be “Mormon”. Now they are willing to pay thousands? Millions? To make sure people don’t call us “Mormon” and get a good impression of the church.

Where is the list someone made of the MANY other resources the church should be funneling money towards?

This doesn’t come across as “missionary work”, it is all about image…image…image…no wonder Mormons…ahem members of the LDS faith get a bad wrap for caring so much about appearances.

Mindy

I have a friend who converted in the last ten years. She confessed to me that the “I’m a Mormon” campaign touched her deeply and the “Mormon” identity is very meaningful to her for that reason. She’s felt hurt and confusion over the switch, and perceived shame over it. It’s like whiplash and makes it all feel like marketing, instead of the religious experience she so valued.

What do you think? Join us in the conversation by leaving a comment below!

I dream of restorative justice instead of eternal increase

During my childhood, it became clear to me that the afterlife for Mormon women was all about procreation. I remember seeing my first visual depiction of Heavenly Mother at an art exhibit in SLC when I was about ten years old. She reminded me of some Mormon women I knew in the sense she was breastfeeding a baby while surrounded by many children. I dreaded an afterlife of endless reproduction, much as I did want to become a mother during my life.

Spiritually-motivated procreation and eternal seeds are crowning blessings in the temple, but one of the problems with focusing on this as the thing we look forward to is that it does not provide hope that our broken and suffering world will find healing. Instead, it is focused on worlds and souls yet to come.

As an adult, it is even clearer to me that I’m not inspired or benefitted by the blessing of “eternal increase,” or infinite posterity in the heavens. Even if this is true, it is not very relevant or helpful to me now. 

Why is our tradition so caught up arranging our personal afterlife procreation plans? Why does the temple invite us to seek blessings for afterlife offspring rather than the people around us now?

During Joseph Smith’s time, the frequent, untimely deaths of babies, children, and younger people were cause for ongoing grief, perplexity, and tough theological questions. Joseph envisioned a next world that was abundant in family relationships restored and expanded, and he injected this into temples rituals. Much in this vision is inspiring, and it certainly spoke to the sentiments of his time.

Marriage, reproduction, and parenthood are all vital to human life and contribute so much to our personal lives and to society. But are they really the central, healing, and saving work of God?

Today, spiritual contexts and needs have shifted. We are increasingly globally connected and impacted by the various tensions, conflicts, and inequalities that plague our world. Our earth itself is in crisis, causing many of our us to struggle to find hope in the future. 

Promises of expanding our families after death are not sufficient to remedy the dumpster fires wrecking havoc on our mental health and spiritual well-being. Hope that the worlds’ dead will accept proxy ordinances doesn’t cut it for many of us anymore either, much as there is beauty in how these rituals acknowledge the worth of every human soul, and doing them can benefit us and provide some sense of hope for the world. Because it is exclusive, the temple sometimes divides our families and causes heartache rather than help.

The blessing I long for is for all the people who have already been born on earth to receive what they need to heal and thrive. What I really want is restorative justice for the earth and all that has lived on it. I have no interest in plans to populate the heavens when we already have innumerable years of healing and rehabilitative work cut out for us with all the people who’ve already been born on this earth. 

The hope I want to lean into is that Jesus Christ is coming to relieve the world of its inequities, suffering, grief, and despair. I hope that divine love, healing, cleansing, and peace will rain down upon humanity. That our wounds will be bound up, our tears wiped away. That there will be a new heaven and a new earth. This is the vision and promise that engages my imagination, inspires much of my writing, and turns me most toward God.

In the Millennium, and in the next life, train me to do the work of a physician, a social worker, a therapist, a teacher, an ecologist, whatever is needed. I’m not sure exactly what will be needed or what that world will be like, but I’ll make my contributions. I’m interested in many things and am willing to do what it takes to set the world right. But I’m not going to stay home focused my own progeny, and I don’t think the earth could be healed if this is what women did.

What would the point of life be if humans’ central purpose were to procreate? God created us to live, experience joy, and fully experience what it means to be human. This certainly includes having children, but there are so many other meaningful parts of life. In my mind, the greatest blessing of an afterlife is everyone having the time and means to experience and explore all the things we don’t have access to during brief, inequitable lives. A world awash in creativity, generativity, and connection. The afterlife is an exquisite possibility precisely because it makes the full expression of human dignity and potential possible for God’s children, both individually and collectively.

Do you have dreams you won’t have time or opportunity to do during this life? Skills or experiences you wish you had time and means to access, people you wish you connect with? What’s wonderful about life continuing is how this grants time and means to fulfill what we understandably hunger to experience. For those whose lives are cut short or who lack access to education or means to explore and develop themselves or their relationships, the afterlife is especially pertinent. The hope is that our collective thirst for life and love can finally be satisfied: “whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:13). Eternal life means being filled with satisfaction and joy in being alive and having freedom to pursue all that is good.

Twenty years ago, I used to think I’d be content as long as I checked my assigned Mormon girl boxes and my own family was safe and well, whatever hot messes were going on in the world. But this simply isn’t the case. My family being provided for and okay doesn’t shield me from grief and deep dissatisfaction about the world’s injustices and suffering. Turns out it feels like the whole world is my family and that I genuinely want good things for everyone, not just my own kids. I am perpetually thirsting after and imagining a better world.

I realize that I don’t know for sure that Jesus is coming to make all things new, much as I have had spiritual experiences that nurture my hope. I also realize that his healing and peace-bringing work must start here and now in our lives, that we shouldn’t wait for Jesus to do everything himself. But even just the possibility that he really is waiting in the gates, intent on returning to the earth to set things right, that he actually is going to resurrect us all, heal us all, cleanse the world of its spiritual and physical pollutants, minister to us all and teach us how to make everything really, actually okay, is the most marvelous, exquisite thing I can imagine. As long as this is a possibility, I will hold to this hope. If it is possible and real, it changes everything. Martin Espada’s poem “Imagine the Angels of Bread” articulates the joy and relief I feel about the possibility of Jesus’s arrival to redeem the world from its suffering and tragedy:

This is the year that squatters evict landlords,
gazing like admirals from the rail
of the roofdeck
or levitating hands in praise
of steam in the shower;
this is the year
that shawled refugees deport judges,
who stare at the floor
and their swollen feet
as files are stamped
with their destination;
this is the year that police revolvers,
stove-hot, blister the fingers
of raging cops,
and nightsticks splinter
in their palms;
this is the year
that darkskinned men
lynched a century ago
return to sip coffee quietly
with the apologizing descendants
of their executioners.

This is the year that those
who swim the border’s undertow
and shiver in boxcars
are greeted with trumpets and drums
at the first railroad crossing
on the other side;
this is the year that the hands
pulling tomatoes from the vine
uproot the deed to the earth that sprouts the vine,
the hands canning tomatoes
are named in the will that owns
the bedlam of the cannery;

this is the year that the eyes
stinging from the poison that purifies toilets
awaken at last to the sight
of a rooster-loud hillside,
pilgrimage of immigrant birth;
this is the year that cockroaches
become extinct, that no doctor
finds a roach embedded
in the ear of an infant;
this is the year that the food stamps
of adolescent mothers
are auctioned like gold doubloons,
and no coin is given to buy machetes
for the next bouquet of severed heads
in coffee plantation country.

If the abolition of slave-manacles
began as a vision of hands without manacles,
then this is the year;
if the shutdown of extermination camps
began as imagination of a land
without barbed wire or the crematorium,
then this is the year;
if every rebellion begins with the idea
that conquerors on horseback
are not many-legged gods, that they too drown
if plunged in the river,
then this is the year.

So may every humiliated mouth,
teeth like desecrated headstones,
fill with the angels of bread.

The first now last, the last now first. Wealth consecrated and redispersed. Dignity, care and education for all. Humanity reconciled. Our bodies and hearts healed. Compassionate, wise, peaceful communities.

I realize that sometimes people view God as a product of the human mind used for comfort, a source of meaning, a way to motivate moral behavior, and other things. I understand this. My experience is that imagining God as a universal redeemer ministering to the earth is a profound way to foster love, compassion, and hope. I consider it mysterious and sacred that humans are capable of imagining such a being and such love whether God is literally there or not. Our capacities to love and our longings for a better world are remarkable.

I don’t think Jesus will be doing this work alone at all. I imagine the worlds’ women and men doing the works of Jesus in a multitude of ways, not just as parents, important as that is. I can see them helping to heal, restore, and rehabilitate the communities of the world. This is the grandest vision of a “relief society” I can imagine. I think this work will be complicated and messy and could take a really long time to complete. But I also think it is both possible and vital and it also starts now.

At church, we might not be pressuring today’s girls to envision the afterlife quite the way we did when I was younger, but the institution is increasingly focused on temples rather than other ways to serve. Rising generations will be more inspired by visions of and efforts toward restorative justice and a healed earth than the promise of eternal seeds. They long to make direct efforts to make the world a better place. It’s not enough to just hear about the church’s donations to non-profits from time to time. The early Saints didn’t live during a polycrisis, but we do, and this calls for a greater and expanded vision of the how we should use our love and time to help the world.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash.

The blog is free to read, but not free to host! Check out our donation page to make a tax-deductible donation to help this blog continue and remain ad-free!

Guest Post: Mens underwear modified for females

Guest Post by Su Ferrel

As an endowed member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I have been wearing what I believed was ‘men’s underwear modified for females’ for the last nearly 50 years. Women’s garment bottoms are white, long leg boxer briefs with a wide waistband. They only difference between them and men’s underwear is the pink vs blue packaging, and the fact that the men’s garment bottoms have a fly. Or so I believed until I took a closer look at the family laundry today.

My husband and I are bigger built than typical so both wear ‘large’ garment bottoms. He is 6’2” tall, compared to my 5’10”. Men are generally taller than women and so typically wear a longer inseam for the same length clothing, with AI suggesting 30-32” as the average male inseam for pants, and 28” slacks inseam for the ‘average’ height (5’5” – 5’8”) female. Inseams for shorts, boxer briefs, and garment bottoms would be assumed to be similarly shorter for women’s clothing than for men’s.

I laid out his cotton blend bottoms next to my Drisilque and compared. Both were ‘regular’ length, not ‘petite’ or ‘short’.

His inseam was 8-1/2”. Mine (shorter female, so needing and expecting a shorter length) was 12”. My garment bottom inseam was nearly half again as long as my much taller, more longer-legged husband!

Although significant, garment length is not where the difference stopped.

His crotch lining was 5-1/4” wide. Mine (needing to accommodate sanitary napkins when young to middle aged, and possibly incontinence products in later years) was less than half that width, measuring 2-1/2” wide.

Then I checked the back of each of our garment bottoms. Mine had a restrictive seam up the back, separating the gluteal cleft (butt crack) and often riding up like a thong. His had the more comfortable 2 seams up the back, one on each side, giving a nice ‘lift’ to the backside.

If I’m truly going to wear ‘men’s underwear modified for females’, then it seems logical to purchase and wear garment bottoms packaged in blue rather than in pink, as that design is more appropriate for my body.

The advantages of blue-packaged over pink-packaged is shorter length, wider crotch lining and more supportive back end features without cutting into the gluteal cleft. The only apparent disadvantage to blue-packaged garments is the existence of a fly. And I can ignore that, as can anybody who has the need or opportunity to see me in just my garments.

Another disadvantage for some could be sizing, in that blue-packaged ‘extra small’ is the smallest size available. They fit about a size 8 woman. Since it’s been years since I was that size, and it’s unlikely I’ll ever be it again, that ‘disadvantage’ is not of concern to me. Blue-packaged ‘medium‘ fit this size 14-16 woman quite nicely, so I deduce that blue-packaged ‘small’ is likely the correct size for women size 10-12.

There is some precedence in this call to purchase garments other than those directly marketed to an individual. Several years ago women noticed that ‘nursing’ garment tops fit better, were more comfortable and allowed for a greater variety of clothing styles than chemise tops. Non-lactating women began buying ‘nursing’ tops with such regularity that the powers-that-be noticed. There was no outcry. The ‘nursing’ tops were simply rebranded as ‘cross-overs’, and restocked in ample quantities to meet women’s needs. Perhaps the same could be done with the smaller sizes of blue-packaged bottoms (although redesigning them without the fly would be appreciated.)

Su is a septuagenarian feminist living in Amarillo, Texas, who appreciates the many changes the church has made to accommodate women’s needs during the past half century, but not necessarily the speed with which those changes have come.