Exponent II's Blog, page 49

On the Powerful, Sacred, Redemptive Work of Mormon Feminist Writing

Recently, I was feeling discouraged about my investment of time and energy in writing about the intersection of Mormonism and feminism. Did any of this make any difference for good? Was I just rehashing painful topics in ways that hurt me and others? 

While was mopping the floor, I listened to a favorite BBC podcast, In Our Time. The next episode on my list was about unicorns. As I listened, I was struck that in the ancient world and the Middle Ages, the unicorn was not a gentle creature. “It’s a fierce animal, and it will defend its young to the death–you cannot take it alive” explained one of the earliest individuals to describe it in the 4th century. Male warriors could not tame or capture the unicorn without female help. It had extraordinary strength and power. It was believed its horn could neutralize poison, purify water that was unsafe to drink, and be used to treat disease. 

This wasn’t the end of unicorns showing up in my day. While on a walk, I noticed a teenage girl walking ahead of me wearing a purple sports jersey. In place of a last name on the back of her shoulders was “UNICORN.” A couple hours later, my son approached me while I was preparing dinner. He grabbed my cheeks with his twelve-year-old hands, brought his face close to mine with his eyes open extra wide, and in his best whinnying baby unicorn voice, exclaimed, “unicorn power forever!”

My son had never done this before and couldn’t explain why he did it then. I asked myself, why is this happening to me today? I chose to treat the synchronicities as an affirmation that my honest, fearless criticisms and thoughts as a writer matter. A message during a moment of doubt that being an advocate for girls and women across the Mormon spectrum can do good in the world. And that perhaps it really is my path to take this work and power up “for ever.” Women like me might be rare or strange. Not everyone sticks on the edge of Mormonism, and I respect and completely understand that. And most people aren’t willing to stick their necks out on feminist publications for good reasons. But here I’ve joined the forces of Exponent II, working among some of the most uncensored female voices on Mormonism. The unicorn synchronicity felt like an invitation to trust that there is indeed healing and cleansing power in the words of untameable and fearless “unicorn” women like myself.  

I did not notice synchronicities like this until recently after a close friend shared her story about an uncanny coincidence she experienced after asking God for guidance. I learned more about the beneficial practice of noticing and responding to spiritual synchronicities by reading Carol Lynn Pearson’s Embracing Coincidence, and this thoughtful essay by Martha Beck. Spiritual experiences can sometimes be hard to come by, especially when we’re discouraged, but noticing what words, images, ideas, or objects show up in a meaningful way in our lives is something we can always engage. I’m finding synchronicities that help me surmount waves of discouragement as a independent-thinking Mormon feminist keep coming. I don’t know how they happen, but they help me feel oriented toward God, the natural world, trust in myself, and my personal spiritual purpose. I’ll share one more that pertains specifically to my writing for Exponent II.

The day after I posted “The Insidious Exchange of Community for Covenants,” I was walking in the woods. I saw a Cooper’s Hawk in a tree right off the path. It was not very high up and I could watch its movements fairly up close and it didn’t seem bothered by me. During hundreds of walks on Mount Royal, this is the one and only time I’ve seen a hawk. They are very secretive and avoid humans. Hawks can represent courage, power, strength, and clear vision. Their sight is 2-3 times sharper than ours. Seeing the hawk felt like an affirmation that I was using my discernment in a pertinent, courageous, and impactful way. I felt encouraged to keep going, to keep observing and pursuing ideas. Like the unicorn as a symbol, the hawk suggested a kind of fearless ferocity and wildness in my choice to write and share. Hawks are the terrors of the mountain among other birds. Feminist voices are troubling and fearful to some, but they are also a much needed part of the proper eco-system and balance needed in any society. This is especially the case in the Church, in which member feedback and criticism are discouraged and deflected, and in which women and ordinary members don’t have much decision making power at all. Sharp-eyed and determined women capable of finding and scooping up the prey of harmful and unsound practices, teachings and policies are very much part of what God and heaven need in the Church.

For me, Mormon feminist writing comes with waves of discouragement as well as moments of stillness, joy, and healing. I know more challenging waves will head my way as long as I am engaged in this work. But I trust that encouragement and moments of affirmation and transcendence will continue to come also.

Recently, when I was about the publish my posts comparing Joseph Smith’s polygamy to Jack Skellington’s misguided scheme, I was afraid of the trolling, criticism that could come, and also that my words could harm someone else–not because of my own intentions, but simply because the historical truths about Joseph’s plural marriage ideas and practices are ugly and hard. But the night after the second post went up as I knelt down to pray, I felt unprecedented, utter peace. I felt peace about Joseph Smith. In fact, my personal anger and resentment toward him (which I avoided bringing into my essay, and which was caused by my suffering spiritual abuse as a child at the hands of others who were justified by his legacy of plural marriage teachings and practices) seemed to be actively leaving my heart. I don’t forgive abuse easily, and I did not expect to experience such a miracle. I felt immense joy in what I had crafted and shared to help bring understanding, healing, and peace to others. It seemed that heaven and individuals in the spirit world accepted my effort to shed light and truth with the desire to help others.

It was as if during the year when I worked on and off on that essay, I had been drinking my own mini bitter cup, feeling pains and dissonance similar to what thousands of others have known while trying to stave off future suffering and darkness for both myself and others. I had a strong feeling that night that a stage of the shared suffering I had taken upon myself had been duly finished. The wave of discouragement, anguish, and doubt had passed and I could access greater peace again, even about the unpleasant area I’d been tackling. I had a sense I had never had before that Mormon feminist writing is a sacred redemptive work that heals souls and can even heal and redeem the bleeding wounds and sharp edges of our struggling faith tradition. 

This is just my perspective, and of course it is not necessarily what Mormon feminist writing needs to mean for others at Exponent, but I thought it could be meaningful to others share what I perceive as the spiritual significance of what my work, and what I am experiencing spiritually as I start on the path of a Mormon feminist writer. 

Come Follow Me: 3 Nephi 27– 4 Nephi “There Could Not Be a Happier People”

In 3 Nephi:27, Jesus Christ completes his mission in the Americas with the Nephites. In 4 Nephi, we learn how the Nephites were so inspired by Christ’s influence they established a Zion community. In this lesson, we’ll discuss how they became so unified, how we could work to replicate their success in our modern communities, and how this time of peace eventually came to an end.

The Church of Jesus Christ must be built on His gospel, and we are the church.

As Jesus Christ finished His ministry in the Americas, He gave instructions for the Nephites to continue the work of God on earth by establishing his church.

10 And if it so be that the church is built upon my gospel then will the Father show forth his own works in it.

3 Nephi 27:10

When Christ says, “the church,” He is not talking about a building or even an organization, but rather, the people who are church members. The Church can only be built on Christ’s gospel if its members choose to live the gospel. When God shows His own works through the church, that means He is working through us.

When Jesus says, “I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matt. 16:18), the Greek word for “church” is ekklēsia. In all 114 instances that the New Testament uses this word, it designates a people, or an assembly of people, responding to the call of God in Christ. It sometimes refers to the whole people of God and other times to a local congregation (Eph. 5:27; 1 Thess. 1:1). From ekklēsia we call the doctrine of the church “ecclesiology” and speak of the courts of sessions, presbyteries, and synods or assemblies as “ecclesiastical courts.” In the New Testament, ekklēsia always designates a people, never the place where they meet.

Matthew S. Miller “Is the church a people or a place?” Tabletalk, September 2022

While talking to a friend going through a difficult time, I asked how he was surviving financially. In tears, he replied that his bishop was helping him using fast-offering funds. He added, “I don’t know where my family and I would be if it wasn’t for the Church.”

I replied, “The Church is the members. They are the ones who willingly and joyfully give fast offerings to help those of us in need. You are receiving the fruits of their faith and determination to follow Jesus Christ.”

My fellow disciples of Christ, let us not underestimate the marvelous work the Lord is doing through us, His Church, despite our shortcomings.

Reyna Aburto, 2nd Counselor, Relief Society General Presidency, “We Are The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” April 2022

After explaining that His Church must be “built upon [His] gospel” (3 Nephi 27:10), the Savior described what His gospel is.

21 Verily, verily, I say unto you, this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do; for that which ye have seen me do even that shall ye do;
22 Therefore, if ye do these things blessed are ye, for ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

3 Nephi 27:21-22

What does it mean for the Church—or in other words, all of us—to be built on His gospel?

Before leaving their physical presence, Jesus promised that he would continue to lead the people.

28 And now I go unto the Father. And verily I say unto you, whatsoever things ye shall ask the Father in my name shall be given unto you.

29 Therefore, ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

3 Nephi 27:28-29

How can we get Christ’s guidance?What does it mean to knock?

Christ prophesied that after He left, the Nephites would not lose a single soul of that generation, but that the Nephites would turn away from the gospel within four generations (3 Nephi 27:30-32). The Book of 4 Nephi describes how these prophecies came to pass.

Building a Zion Community

The book of 4 Nephi shows just how completely the Savior’s gospel can change people. Following Jesus’s brief ministry, centuries of contention between the Nephites and Lamanites came to an end. Two nations known for dissension and pride became “one, the children of Christ” (4 Nephi 1:17), and they began to have “all things common among them” (4 Nephi 1:3). The “love of God … did dwell in the hearts of the people,” and “there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God” (4 Nephi 1:15–16).

3 Nephi 17-19, Come Follow Me for Home and Church, Book of Mormon 2024

Invite the class to silently read the following scriptures while looking for answers to these questions, then discuss.

How did Christ’s teachings change the Nephites and the Lamanites?What did the the Nephites do to build such a happy and peaceful society?

2 And it came to pass in the thirty and sixth year, the people were all converted unto the Lord, upon all the face of the land, both Nephites and Lamanites, and there were no contentions and disputations among them, and every man did deal justly one with another.

3 And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift.

4 Nephi 1:2-3

12 And they did not walk any more after the performances and ordinances of the law of Moses; but they did walk after the commandments which they had received from their Lord and their God, continuing in fasting and prayer, and in meeting together oft both to pray and to hear the word of the Lord.

4 Nephi 1:12

15 And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.

16 And there were no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, nor lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness; and surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.

17 There were no robbers, nor murderers, neither were there Lamanites, nor any manner of -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.

18 And how blessed were they! For the Lord did bless them in all their doings; yea, even they were blessed and prospered until an hundred and ten years had passed away; and the first generation from Christ had passed away, and there was no contention in all the land.

4 Nephi 1:15-18

How could we follow the example of the Nephites to seek greater unity, peace and happiness in our modern communities?How can we work to fight poverty and expand freedom like the Nephites did?What can we do to help overcome divisions and truly become “one” with other children of God?What teachings of Jesus Christ help us accomplish the goal of building a Zion community?Unity: “with one accord.”

While serving as 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, Sister Reyna Aburto commented on the kind of unity the people of the Book of Mormon had during this time period.

A kaleidoscope of monarch butterflies

We can suppose that the reason why they were so united is because they knew the Lord personally. They had been close to Him, and they had been witnesses of His divine mission, of the miracles that He performed, and of His Resurrection. They saw and touched the marks in His hands and feet. They knew with certainty that He was the promised Messiah, the Redeemer of the world. They knew that “He is the source of all healing, peace, and eternal progress.”

Even though we may not have seen our Savior with our physical eyes, we can know that He lives. As we draw closer to Him, as we seek to receive a personal witness through the Holy Ghost of His divine mission, we will have a better understanding of our purpose; the love of God will dwell in our hearts; we will have the determination to be one in the kaleidoscopes of our families, wards, and communities; and we will minister to each other “in newer, better ways.”

Miracles happen when the children of God work together guided by the Spirit to reach out to others in need.

Reyna Aburto, 2nd Counselor, Relief Society General Presidency, “With One Accord” April 2018

Sister Aburto compared this kind of unity to the unity of monarch butterflies.

Video: With One Accord – Reyna Aburto, Third Hour

Importantly, Sister Aburto points out that unity does not require us to be the same or walk the same path.

Every one of our paths is different, yet we walk them together. Our path is not about what we have done or where we have been; it is about where we are going and what we are becoming, in unity. When we counsel together guided by the Holy Ghost, we can see where we are and where we need to be. The Holy Ghost gives us a vision that our natural eyes cannot see, because “revelation is scattered among us,” and when we put that revelation together, we can see more.

Reyna Aburto, 2nd Counselor, Relief Society General Presidency, “With One Accord” April 2018

How can we be united while honoring our differences?How is revelation scattered among us?

In August 2021, General Relief Society President Jean B. Bingham taught more about the principle that revelation is scattered among us.

How does a Zion society fall apart?

As Jesus had predicted, the Zion society described in 4 Nephi eventually fell into wickedness.
Invite the class to silently read the following scriptures, looking for answers to this question, then discuss.

What attitudes and behaviors ended the Nephites’ happiness and unity?

24 And now, in this two hundred and first year there began to be among them those who were lifted up in pride, such as the wearing of costly apparel, and all manner of fine pearls, and of the fine things of the world.

25 And from that time forth they did have their goods and their substance no more common among them.

26 And they began to be divided into classes; and they began to build up churches unto themselves to get gain, and began to deny the true church of Christ.

4 Nephi 1:24-26

34 Nevertheless, the people did harden their hearts, for they were led by many priests and false prophets to build up many churches, and to do all manner of iniquity. And they did smite upon the people of Jesus; but the people of Jesus did not smite again. And thus they did dwindle in unbelief and wickedness, from year to year, even until two hundred and thirty years had passed away.

4 Nephi 1:34

38 And it came to pass that they who rejected the gospel were called Lamanites, and Lemuelites, and Ishmaelites; and they did not dwindle in unbelief, but they did wilfully rebel against the gospel of Christ; and they did teach their children that they should not believe, even as their fathers, from the beginning, did dwindle.

39 And it was because of the wickedness and abomination of their fathers, even as it was in the beginning. And they were taught to hate the children of God, even as the Lamanites were taught to hate the children of Nephi from the beginning.

4 Nephi 1:38-39

42 And it came to pass that the wicked part of the people began again to build up the secret oaths and combinations of Gadianton.

4 Nephi 1:42

What can we do to help eliminate these attitudes or behaviors in our communities?

Going astray, or taking a different path?

Relief Society has always felt like the safest place in church to me.

It’s not safe, exactly, but the patriarchy is better hidden and I am usually more comfortable being more honest and open in that meeting. When I say something with which others disagree, no one feels the need to announce their disagreement. I don’t have to sit through lessons on the scriptures that came from a church manual that was written by men and fight the urge to point out bad translations, the context we always ignore, the prejudice and patriarchy baked into so many of the verses we all love. Plus, I know enough women who struggle that I assume that there are others in that room who are on a similar path as mine. If one of my few church friends are there, it’s even safer. I feel so much less alone when I know I’m not the only one whose relationship to the church is, let’s say complicated.

None of that is true anymore.

Last month, I went to Relief Society. My friend and I didn’t notice in time that the topic was President Henry B. Eyring’s talk “All Will Be Well Because of Temple Covenants.” We both flinched when we saw it but decided to stay. 

Now, the topic of the lesson, while problematic, didn’t end up being the problem. I will start with saying I haven’t read this talk, so it’s possible the talk was fine and it’s only the title that is horrendous, not doctrinal and, if I’m honest, a little blasphemous, not to mention utterly contradicting of the topic of sacrament meeting, which was about how Jesus Christ saves us. One speaker specifically mentioned that temples do not save us. And how here we are, in the midst of a lesson about how the temple will save us. Not the temple will help us feel closer to Christ, will help us be better, will help us become more spiritual. No, the temple is the reason everything will be OK.

But again, I can handle a lesson on a topic with which I don’t fully agree. At this point in my church-trust-relationship-crisis, that is every single lesson.

No, the real problem arose at the end of the lesson. I’d been mentally cringing through most of it, listening to the women talk about how much the temple had given them and how much they knew it gave to others–that it was the right place to be for everyone. As someone who does not get much from the temple–the last time I went, in 2019, a temple worker asked me if I was pregnant and patted my not-pregnant-just-fat stomach–I was trying to leave space for the knowledge that other people felt differently and that was fine, and the way I felt was also fine and that deserved some recognition. I was debating raising my hand when my friend next to me raised her hand.

She then shared what I’d been thinking, but more eloquently–that everyone did not find Jesus Christ in the temple, that it was not a place where everyone felt safe and had good experiences and that we needed to be careful having such reductive conversations. I wanted to applaud but settled for whispering my agreement to her.

Then a woman a row in front of us raised her hand. Her love for the temple is well-known, which isn’t a problem. Her problem is insisting that everyone else share the same love for the temple or they’re wrong and butting in anytime people express the remotest question with the certainty that when they go the temple, everything will be resolved. She proceeded to say exactly that, including turning around to my friend and offering to go with her. My friend, who just shared something really difficult in a space where I know she doesn’t always feel safe, was now being put on the spot and told to correct herself because her feelings and experiences were wrong. 

(And they weren’t even overtly her experiences! She never said she felt this way, just that we need to keep in mind that people do.)

How did the woman in front of us respond after her “loving” offer was politely declined? Well, she continued to insist that her experience was correct and other experiences were incorrect. I was shaking with anger or sorrow or this slap in the face that no, this was not the safest place. No place here was safe.

And I wish I could say that was the end of it. Reader, it was not. Right after the teacher agreed that yes, everyone felt differently about the temple, another woman raised her hand, announced that she was a temple worker and was “blessed” (can we just … not with this word?) that all of her children went to the temple, but that some of her siblings had “gone astray” and it caused her parents significant grief. (Note: I’m certain her siblings were all close to retirement age.) And I snapped. Because according to her definition, I have “gone astray.” I don’t go to the temple because it’s not a safe space for me. Neither is church, and I’m not there very often. These women do not offer a safe space for anyone who does not agree with them. I am not on the covenant path. But in my living room, where I am sitting on a Sunday afternoon writing this, I can be myself, I can feel close to Heavenly Mother and Heavenly Father, I can say things out loud and I can cry and I can express my doubts and ask questions and feel only love, understanding and acceptance from divinity. 

I found out later my friend left about 30 seconds after I did; the woman’s comment moved from “gone astray” to accusing my friend of having something fundamentally wrong in her life, which is why she doesn’t feel comfortable in the temple. It could only be sin that causes discomfort in the temple–not the overt misogyny and inequality, not the clothes that are mass-produced and don’t fit well, not the covenants that require promises made not to God but to the church. No, it must be sin. And that is perhaps the saddest, maddest thing of all–that people in the church, that the church itself, simply cannot allow for different experiences. The “my-way-or-the-highway” idea that we have rebranded the covenant path hurts and excludes people–the same types of people whom Jesus Christ sought during his ministry. The misconception that discomfort comes from sin, that someone’s dislike of an aspect of the church reflects their relationship with divinity, that those who are offended “chose” to be that way as tempted by the devil instead of having a reasonable response to something offensive. People like me and many of those close to me, people like you and the readers of this blog who sought out community online when their IRL community failed them. People who have left because they knew they would never fit and people who keep trying to fit and being reminded over and over again that they don’t. People whose sincere questions and efforts have been met with rejection because there is simply no place for them on the covenant path, so they are pushed off or wander off or intentionally step off. And what looks like “going astray” is in fact simply “taking a different path.”

Read about respecting others’ journeys in The Visible Symbol of Our Covenants.

Photo: About 3 miles into the Ice Lakes trail in Silverton, Colorado, hikers have a choice–left or right? Both get you to the top. Both are hard. If you go right, it’s steeper–so steep that I scrambled almost on hands and knees to get up. I stopped to take breaks every 20 feet or so. It is the harder choice, but when you get to the first lake, you’re done with uphill. Plus, as I have bad knees and the trail was muddy, coming down those angles made me fear for my safety. Take the left and it’s still hard, still steep, but not as steep, plus you get to the more beautiful lake first and get the reward. But if you keep going to the second lake, you have another punishing climb. I went right. Most of the hikers that day went left. No one went astray. We each simply took the path that was right for us.

Guest Post: More Excommunications, Please!

Slides from a recent church training have come out with bizarre messaging: “Remember when Jesus let the woman taken in adultery off? Pretend it didn’t happen.”

During a recent leadership training, Elder Dallin Oaks lamented that since 2021 “a decline in membership councils” is occurring in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Membership councils are the formal meetings when members are assessed for excommunication.1 Doesn’t it seem strange that a church leader is upset that so few people are being excommunicated these days?

Personally, I think fewer excommunications are a good thing, but unlike Elder Oaks, who directed his remarks to bishops and stake presidents implying they have been slacking on their jobs, I think there are several far more reasonable explanations for the decline, and at least one good reason to be concerned that this training may result in unnecessary harm:

Church policies have influenced how membership councils are held.

The list of “serious” sins is now public.

Violent crime is declining.

Questionable statistics

Emphasizing declines could cause unnecessary membership councils.Membership councils are being run at the ward level, instead of the stake level, where members and their situations are known.

Years back, the 15-member all male stake high council handled all excommunications of endowed individuals, including women.  Women were at especial disadvantage in these councils, because they were held by men on a stake level with whom they were unlikely to have any dealings. These men didn’t know the women or their situation, and made decisions in an adversarial format, during which half of the men making a judgment must argue for punishment.

Today bishops and branch presidents to handle disciplinary councils for endowed women.  It seems obvious that bishops and branch presidents — men who personally know those who are facing church discipline — might have information about the context of a given infraction, and THAT might explain the decline in excommunications.

If bishops and branch presidents who personally know those taking part in the repentance process are excommunicating less, isn’t this something to celebrate?

The list of “serious” sins and procedures for membership councils is now public.

Before the new General Handbook was published in 2020, only male priesthood leaders like bishops and stake presidents had access to the instructions for membership councils. Because members could not know what these instructions were, there was no way for a member to know if a membership council was being operated fairly or in accordance with church instructions. For example, there are many stories of church members facing church disciplinary councils for masturbation. In fact, the problem was so widespread that in 2010 the church instructed church leaders to stop holding disciplinary councils for masturbation.

Today the General Handbook directs:

“The Savior’s interaction with the woman taken in adultery is a guide2. Although He did not say her sins were forgiven, He did not condemn her. Instead, He told her to ‘sin no more’—to repent and change her life. … Only for the most serious sins does the Church have a set standard on what actions its leaders should take.“

The church’s “serious sins” are mainly crimes: murder, rape, sexual assault conviction, child or youth abuse, abuse of a spouse or another adult, predatory behavior (violent, sexual, or financial), incest, child pornography, plural marriage, or serious sin while holding a prominent Church position, and most felony convictions.

Given this instruction, it makes sense that common acts like masturbation, failing to keep the word of wisdom, fornication, and adultery are not listed among the “serious sins” that require an excommunication.  It seems pretty plain that finally bishops and branch president are following the church’s own instruction that these common acts are not serious enough to require serious church discipline, and we’re supposed to be sad about it?

Violent crime is declining.

There’s another very important reason disciplinary councils may be down: violent crimes of the type called “serious sins” by the church are declining significantly in the US.

Statista: Reported violent crime rate in the United States from 1990 to 2022

Violent crime in the US is down and has been falling for decades. LDS make up about 1.1-1.3% of the US population. The number of LDS who are facing formal membership councils at any one time is far smaller — far too small to influence these statistics.

It seems reasonable to assume that LDS are following trends and are committing fewer violent crimes, “serious sins,” such as rape and murder, than in years past.  Declining membership council statistics seem to support this conclusion and should be a source of relief, not consternation.

My momma says be skeptical about statistics with ellipses.

The slides claim “In the twelve years following 2010, the repetition of serious sins was far lower for those … who had been held accountable in a membership council than for those who had not.3”  We don’t know what text was glossed over by that ellipsis, but I have suspicions about this statement.

Once a member has been excommunicated, they are no longer tracked by the church’s statistical reporting.  How, then, could the church know if an excommunicated member repeats serious sins? 

My money says that the ellipsis held some sort of qualifier about the population sample. It may have said that those who faced membership council AND RETURNED did not repeat serious sins. I suspect this statistic only shows that those who are willing to comply with the church’s conditions of repentance, are willing to comply with the church’s conditions of repentance.  I sincerely doubt that the church has any statistics regarding how frequently someone who is excommunicated and DOES NOT RETURN repeats a serious sin.

I am also skeptical of the slide claim that sin repetition, or recidivism, “was far lower among those … who had been held accountable in a membership council than for those who had not.”4 I’ve already shown that violent crime — “serious sins” — are down for the population as a whole, and that over 98% of the US population is not LDS and has never been in a membership council.

I therefore conclude that recidivism is also down among those who have not been “held accountable in a membership council”.

This means we must question whether any relationship between declining recidivism and membership councils is causal or merely correlated. How has the church drawn its line from membership councils to reduced recidivism given overall declines in violent crime? How do we know these membership councils are actually effective at reducing recidivism?

I think emphasizing declines could cause unnecessary membership councils.

Imagine you’re a bishop and a leader has just told you ministering statistics in your ward are down. You will assess your practices and work to bring them up, of course. 

Now imagine he’s told you the number of membership councils held in your ward are down.  Will you not assess your practices and work to bring those statistics up?

Surely church leaders don’t want priesthood leaders considering whether they’ve performed the same number of membership councils this year as last or setting a goal for number of membership councils performed.

But if they don’t want priesthood leaders to think that statistics on formal discipline matter, why did they act like it does?

Closing thoughts

I hope that bishops and branch presidents are not distracted by statistical declines in formal church disciplinary proceedings and will focus on their role in helping people — especially women — who are already disadvantaged in church disciplinary councils for many reasons.  Statistics, especially questionable ones, should not be the determining factor for whether anyone faces church discipline. Declining crime rates over all, and the church’s own policies are the most likely reason for the decline in membership councils, not slacking priesthood leadership.

It’s hard for me to imagine a circumstance where we should be concerned that membership councils are down.

I’m pleased, to be honest.

Jenny Smith likes Star Trek, tomatoes, and peanut M&Ms, but not at the same time.

It must be these formal membership councils to which Elder Oaks refers, as informal councils do not result in a paper trail that would leave statistics that could show a decline. ︎ see John 8:3–11 ︎Emphasis added ︎Emphasis added ︎

“Prone to Wander” and the Freedom of Wandering

“Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.”

This refrain, repeated three times in Mack Wilber’s rendition of “Come Thou Fount” and originally penned by the 18th-century Christian, Robert Robinson, chokes me up every time I sing it. 

In high school, my choir sang Mack Wilber’s “Come Thou Fount” at the old tabernacle on Temple Square. The acapella voices harmonized below the domed ceiling and vibrated my skin, giving me chills, and then the words, “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love,” came from me and flooded out with the rest of the teenagers and string instruments and those words spoke to my soul. There was something about that sentence.

Recently, I sang these words again during a stake conference where my friend’s son gave his farewell talk. Again, these words choked me up and while the whole song is beautifully arranged, it’s these words that catch on my soul on the way out. 

Why? What is it about this sentence that speaks to my emotions? “Come Thou Fount” is a song about breaking. It’s a song about being tamed and bound and imprisoned for God. “Fetter” and “bind” and “seal” are words of restraint – but the words that speak to my soul are “wander,” “feel,” “leave,” and “love.” Words of freedom.

Why? Why this sentence? After contemplating this question for the past few weeks, I wonder if it’s because this sentence exposes me for who I am. And it’s taken me a long, long time to accept that. From the time I was seventeen, these words have told me something true about myself: I’m prone to wander, I’m prone to feel like a wanderer, and I’m prone to leave the God I love. 

Wanderers do not fit well into the theology of the LDS church.

I grew up with this idea that righteousness was achieved by holding to an imaginary iron rod while walking on a straight and narrow path next to deep ravines full of wandering and weeping and wailing humans with gnashing teeth – cling tightly! Step carefully! Always be afraid. This idea never sat well with me. It was dreadful imagining myself walking through life clinging to a rigid, cold, steal rod through mists of darkness while people I loved fell into the ravines. 

But every once in a while, I’d wander away. I’d leave that imagery behind and wander. I’d stop listening to prophets and parents and teachers and I’d end up in houses where parents were drug addicts. In those houses, I witnessed children who I fell in love with and situations that informed my decision to become a foster parent, one who could love addicted parents and their children. I found myself learning from my friend’s gay brother who described a life I hadn’t ever considered before. I found myself at funerals of suicide victims, in courtrooms, and in places where wanderers, I discovered, were just like me. 

I’m prone to wander away from the scriptures that raised me and taught me and comforted me. Oh, I feel it. I feel that wanderer inside me, pulling me away from the texts that only tell stories about certain people and ignore the rest. I feel it when the rigidity of conformity feels like fetters made by ancient men to control me and keep me from wandering. . . but my wanderings have uncovered precious wisdom, compassion, and experience for me. 

While writing this piece, I noticed that the rest of the words in “Come Thou Fount” are alarmingly violent. In the song, the narrator begs God to seal, bind, and constrain them in imaginary fetters. The singer asks God to let “thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.” As if the wandering heart is the evil thing. Of course, this is not literal, just like the iron rod is not literal, but the imagery of iron cuffs clamping around my ankles, bruising my skin, and capturing my wandering heart, preventing me from running is frightening. 

But then, there’s the refrain, like a declaration of freedom: “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.” The truth of this line for me shines through the rest. I am prone to wander through the world without the bindings of patriarchal imagery where I can imagine God as the blossoming clover that covers my path. I feel that wild, dancing woman inside me. And the last part of the phrase, “prone to leave the God I love,” is placed with reverence. 

And as I sang these last words with my stake a couple weeks ago, I knew they were true too: I’ve left the god I love. I love this God of sealings and bindings and iron rods and narrow paths. I love this god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. This is the God of my childhood, a Heavenly Father who loves me. But I left him.

And for the first time since I left, I cried for what I lost. 

For more discussion about wandering, read Tirza’s poem, “When Wandering is Seeking.”

Photo by Michal Kmeť on Unsplash

Guest Post: Living with distance

by MGM

On the day of my graduation I stood on a small bridge that overlooked a stream. Beside me stood my then girlfriend.

“What would you do if I jumped into the water?” She’d asked

“I’d jump on with you,” I smiled.

It was a small simple pact, yet at the time it was also beautiful.

Not many people get to meet the love of their life in high school. Many would probably scoff at the notion. Especially if that relationship would then have to go through four years of long distance.

College changed us, and our relationship, but through it all we stayed together and forged stronger bonds. Long distance, for those who may not be aware, is hard. It involves a lot of growing pains, and in my case a lot of insecurity. Through the distance, though, we learned to support each other. We learned to communicate more directly and honestly. We developed a mutually supportive relationship where we worked together and highlighted each other’s strengths.

We graduated college as the COVID crisis locked down the nation. In midst of the chaos and turmoil we decided to get married. Some of my friends in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would scoff at the five years it took before we were married. Yet I treasure each and every one of the experiences we made.

We planned to go on to grad school together, however, life happened. I got a job, and that meant I couldn’t go with her. So for our first two years of being married, my wife went to grad school to get her masters.

She got the opportunity to go to an incredible school and do amazing work, but it was also 1,982 miles away. My wife is a continual inspiration in my life. Her drive and passion for what she does makes me a better person. So while I was sad that only a couple months after we got married I had to hold back tears as she drove across the country, I was also excited for her!

These are not life choices most people, especially in the church, would make.

“I could never do that.” Someone would say pity in their eyes as I went to church alone.

“I would never let my wife do that” another would say aghast.

“Ah, I bet your house is a wreck,” someone would say looking down their nose at my slightly wrinkled dress shirt.

I didn’t grow up in the church, though I did grow up in a religion with similar values. So at first I ignored the comments. It was, after all, difficult; I missed her every day. However after a certain point the comments started making me angry.

Implied in the comments was that, I “let” her pursue her dreams. That her career, dreams and aspirations should come second to my own; or that her dreams should revolve around the home and only the home.

As I continued to reflect, there was also an impression I felt of pity. It took me a long time to realize the source of that pity. The pity that I saw in the eyes of many that I came across, came from their belief that I could not take care of myself.

This more than anything else made me upset. I’m not a child. I do not need my wife to be my mother. Though I cleaned the home, though I cooked and cleaned, though I ironed my own clothes, and showed up to church, I was somehow less than the others, because I “let” my wife develop her soul.

Meanwhile, in the same ward we had women whose husbands traveled, left the church, or left them. These incredible women raised kids in the gospel, worked full time, and yet somehow I was more deserving of pity and praise for my perceived struggles. The pity was not Christlike, it was just sexist.

I learned to let go and to try to understand. My only wish in writing this is to bring into focus our need to move society forward. A society where we celebrate, cherish, and grow the gifts Gd has given us. One where we promote and celebrate the achievements of women.

MGM is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day, a husband, a flavor chemist, and an amateur gardener.

We asked ChatGPT to roast Exponent II, and it came for us

For the past three years at the Exponent II retreat, my friends Lindsay Denton, Natasha Rogers, Amy Freeman, and I have performed a skit in the variety show as the “Lakeview Relief Society.” In the first two years, Sister Denton (DO NOT call her “President Denton”) led us as we taught enrichment activities from the books Fascinating Womanhood and Fascinating Girl. This year was a little different. We found Man of Steel and Velvet to be too depressing to satirize as we planned our skit, so with short notice and in honor of Exponent II’s 50th anniversary, we asked ChatGPT to roast Exponent II.

Here is our intro and then the best lines from the roast, which we delivered in turn.

Natasha Rogers, Lindsay Denton, Amy Freeman, and Katie Ludlow Rich at the 2024 Exponent II RetreatChatGPT’s Roast of Exponent II

Hello! We are the Lakeview Relief Society presidency. I’m sister Denton, Relief Society president. We were honored but frankly surprised to be invited to your 50th-anniversary party because you know we don’t approve of your pot-stirring. When you said you wanted us to give you a roast, we brought one. Sister Rogers made it from scratch. 

Now we realize you meant you actually want us to roast YOU, but since we spent all our time cooking, we asked chatGPT to write it.

Exponent II, 50 years of almost radical! Here’s to half a century of making feminism in the LDS world feel like a mocktail party—with just a hint of rebellion. And while you’re at it, keep those heartfelt essays coming—because nothing says “smashing the patriarchy” like a beautifully formatted magazine!

Exponent II: 50 years of gently shaking the pillars of patriarchy—while also making sure Primary runs smoothly. I mean, balancing faith and feminism is no easy task, but somehow you’ve managed to fit both the scriptures and Gloria Steinem quotes into your book clubs. And let’s not forget how your biggest act of rebellion was probably daring to wear pants to church! Keep fighting the good fight—slowly, carefully, and with a lot of footnotes!

Ah, the Mormon patriarchy—where men hold the priesthood and the remote control during General Conference. The patriarchy is terrified of Exponent II, and not just because you might write an anonymous blog post. The patriarchy fears you because you’ve made feminism look. . . well, reasonable. You’re a slow-motion nightmare for the patriarchy. You’re not storming the gates; you’re sneaking into their minds, showing them that women are more than spiritual support staff. The patriarchy is scared because they can’t figure out how to fight a revolution that shows up with homemade bread, a demure smile, and a demand for equality. Now that’s terrifying!

Exponent II: Celebrating 50 years of making patriarchy nervous—but not too nervous. Unlike that radical Mormon Women’s Forum, you’re the polite feminists: you’re here to stir the pot, but only with an approved spoon, right? You’ve made incredible strides, though, don’t get me wrong. You’ve got the spirit of Joan of Arc. . . if Joan had to ask permission from the bishop before going into battle.

Thank you for inviting us, and thank you to chatGPT! We’d like to return the favor by inviting you to our Fascinating Womanhood book club next Tuesday!

Add your roast of Exponent II or Mormon feminism to the comments!

Come Follow Me: 3 Nephi 20-26 “Ye Are the Children of the Covenant”

I hesitate to call the following blog post a “lesson plan.” That would make it seem like I’ve come up with some amazing material to help you teach a lesson on 3 Nephi 20-26. Instead I found these passages of scripture to be a little like swimming through a lake of deep doctrine. Each lap across the lake left me feeling breathless and overwhelmed. I feel doctrinally out of my depth to fully explain the passages.

However, I did study and ponder these chapters for several weeks and I want to share what I’ve been thinking about. Consider the things that I talk about here to be a rough guide across the lake of deep doctrine.

If you feel like you have better or additional insight into these chapters please consider writing a guest post or your own lesson plan. I’d love to have more resources for navigating the doctrine in these chapters.

As I’ve gone over 3 Nephi chapters 20-26 I’ve had a few observations. I want to share them with you.

Observation #1:  This is the second day of Jesus’s visit to the Nephites. On this day he administers the sacrament and then launches into teaching about His covenant relationship with the House of Israel. He quotes from Old Testament prophets like Micah, Isaiah, and Malachi. He even throws in a reference to things that were said in Acts. This is a day of deep doctrine. 

What’s interesting is that he tried to start teaching these things on the first day. Back in 3 Nephi 16 he begins quoting Isaiah 52. Then he looks at the people and perceives that they are just not ready for this. He tells them to go home and rest. He will be back the next day. However, He realizes that they don’t want Him to leave. This is when He has them come to Him and he heals them one by one. He also takes time to pray over and bless the children.

I want you to keep that interaction in mind as you read through the teachings from the second day. These second day teachings were given to people who had been healed by Jesus and had some powerful spiritual experiences. If you start studying these chapters and feel overwhelmed and just not ready for the deep theological exercise – that’s okay. Jesus made sure the people had rested and had physical needs looked after before he taught the people these things.

You too can take a break and look after your physical needs before reading these things. Perhaps that means you start your study tomorrow – or maybe you set this section aside until we come back to it again in four years. That’s okay.

Observation #2: We don’t have all the teachings of Jesus from this section. We have the record of the scriptures that he quoted to the people. But we don’t have the record when he “expounded” or explained what those scripture passages meant in full. 

Mormon says that he was about to write all the things that Jesus taught, “but the Lord forbade it, saying ‘I will try the faith of my people.'” (3 Nephi 26:11)

And frankly I feel a little cheated by that. This whole lesson plan would be a lot easier to write if I knew what direction Jesus took his explanations. I guess we are meant to just work with what we have here.

Observation #3: There’s a lot of unfamiliar stuff in these passages. I’ve read through these chapters 5 or 6 times over the past few weeks. I’ve read commentaries and relied heavily on the footnotes in my Annotated Book of Mormon and I feel like I’m barely starting to get my bearings. 

There are a few familiar passages. Malachi’s chapters talking about robbing God through not paying tithes and offerings as well as the familiar phrase, “turn the hearts of the children to the fathers” show up toward the end. The Come Follow Me manual dedicates quite a bit of time to those phrases. The manual has a whole section about tithing and another about family history. 

At first I was annoyed that the manual was trying to shoehorn tithing and family history into this lesson. But at this point I kind of understand. Those topics are easy compared to some of the deeper stuff about God’s covenant relationship with his people. When you are trying to swim through a sea of deep doctrine it makes sense that you’d want to grab onto the buoys of familiar topics like tithing and family history. 

Observation #4: It’s helpful to look at the the big picture of these chapters. Jesus is talking about prophecies that are yet to be fulfilled. This is talking about the last days. The gospel will be preached to the Gentiles, some will believe while others do not, God’s judgements will come to the unrepentant Gentiles. The repentant Gentiles will become part of the House of Israel. A New Jerusalem will be built in this land.

There’s a lot of fancy phrasing and some odd word choices, but that’s the big picture. If you get lost just keep that in mind.   

—-

At this point you might be wondering why I’m even trying to write a lesson plan about 3 Nephi 20-26.

The whole reason I even signed up for these chapters has to do with a passage from Isaiah. All year I’ve been on my own scripture study plan separate from the Come Follow Me curriculum. I’ve been studying the book of Mosiah. I’ve gone through one chapter a week with a few breaks built into the timeline.

I’ve learned a lot of things studying scripture at a slower pace. Perhaps the biggest surprise was how much of my study in Mosiah would be spent on a particular passage from Isaiah. Isaiah 52:7-10 plays a prominent role in the teachings of Abinadi. 

I dug deeply into what it all meant and even wrote a blog post about interpreting that passage of Mosiah through Abinadi’s teachings. I really had my eyes opened to the meaning of that passage. Then I figuratively dusted off my hands and thought, “well, that’s the last of that passage.” 

Then I happened to look at one last footnote and realized that Isaiah 52:7-10 comes up again in 3rd Nephi. Jesus quotes it while he is visiting the Nephites. 

I realized I wasn’t done with this passage yet. 

I signed up for this lesson plan specifically to dig into what this passage is doing in 3rd Nephi and how we can understand it in light of the other teachings of Jesus in the chapters surrounding it. I thought it would be simple. After all, I’d done all that earlier study on Isaiah 52:7-10.

However, it’s not just Isaiah. Jesus also quotes from Micah, Acts, and Malachi. Actually, quoting isn’t quite the right word. Is riffing a word that you can associate with scripture? Because that’s kind of what’s going on here. Jesus uses the basic phrasing, but some words are changed. Whole passages are presented in a different order. He quotes from Micah chapter 5 and then immediately quotes from Micah chapter 4. His delivery of Isaiah 52 has verses all over the place. He quotes verses 8-10 followed by verses 1-3, then verses 6-7 followed by verses 11-14. I’m sure there is meaning to all of this, but but it’s beyond my abilities at the moment.

So let’s bring this back to the basic passage: Isaiah 52:7-10. I may not understand what exactly is happening in all the details of this lesson. But I can explain this one scripture.

At the end of 3 Nephi 16 Jesus quotes Isaiah 52: 8-10.

Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice;

with the voice together shall they sing,

for they shall see eye to eye when the Lord shall bring again Zion.

Break forth into joy,

Sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem;

for the Lord has comforted his people,

He hath redeemed Jerusalem,

The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations;

and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of God.

He quotes it again in 3 Nephi 20: 32-34. There is a little bit of preamble in verses 30-31. Jesus says, “And it shall come to pass that the time cometh when the fulness of my gospel shall be preached unto them; and they shall believe in me, that I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and shall pray unto the Father in my name. “

From this we can understand that the following verses are about how people will react when the fullness of the gospel is preached and when people believe in Jesus. That helps us understand the same Isaiah passages with some new phrasing added.

Then shall their watchmen lift up their voice;

and with the voice together shall they sing,

for they shall see eye to eye.

Then will the Father gather them together again,

and give unto them Jerusalem for the land of their inheritance;

then shall they break forth into joy.

Sing together, ye waste places of Jerusalem,

for the Father has comforted his people,

he hath redeemed Jerusalem.

The Father hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations;

and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of the Father;

And the Father and I are one.

A few verses later he quotes from Isaiah 52:7 which is actually the beginning to the passage. Abinadi also quoted this verse out of order when he was explaining the passage to the priests of Noah. It reads,

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings unto them;

that publish peace;

that bringeth good tidings unto them of good;

that publish salvation;

that saith unto Zion, “Thy God reigneth!”

Abinadi did an amazing job explaining this part of the passage. He laid out a fabulous explanation that explained that this passage applied to those who preached of Jesus in the past, the present, and the future. He then took it one step forward and explained that this passage was also about Jesus himself. (For a more detailed look at Abinadi’s teachings on this passage go read my blog post titled “Who has Beautiful Feet.)

Jesus is talking about this in a sightly different way. It still is about those who testify of Him. But it’s also about the future. It’s about how the gathering of Israel is good news.

Jesus will go on to quote many more things about the gathering of Israel. He’ll use more quotes from Isaiah 52 and 54. He’ll quote more of Micah 5. He’ll quote Malachi 3 and 4. There are a lot of details in those passages. I’m not able to explain them now, but I’ll be thinking about them. Maybe in four years I’ll be a better equipped theologian who can dig into the deep doctrine and the references to ancient scripture.

I may not know a lot about all of this yet, but I do know one thing. The gathering of Israel is meant to fill us with joy. We are meant to sing. We are meant to see eye to eye. There will be comfort and there will be redemption. All the ends of the earth will see salvation.

The title of this chapter in Come Follow Me is “Ye are Children of the Covenant.” I think it’s important to remember that being part of the covenant is supposed to bring us joy. It’s meant to be good tidings of good.

So even though this is a complicated group of scriptures we can look at it through the angle of joy and happiness.

The LGBTQ+ Community and General Conference

Apostles counseling members about the queer community has become a consistent feature of General Conference. This blog explores this trend and some potential effects.

 Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

Every 6 months and always just a few days before, I realize general conference weekend is this upcoming weekend. In my youth I looked forward to it, as a young parent I eagerly awaited it, and now I nervously anticipate it. Those of us in the queer community understand that having our identity counseled about during gencon has become as routine as the floral arrangements that adorn the stand. It’s a fact that we will be talked about by speakers whom we have trusted and that many of our family, friends, neighbors, law-makers, and employers trust these men and recognize them as prophets, seers, and revelators.

There’s a great duality in general conference that I’ve yet to fully wrap my head around. There’s a huge emphasis on love and compassion which feels at odds with the consistently degrading messages about the queer community. Such messages include proclaiming our life experiences “counterfeit” and describing us as being under Satan’s power and bringing about the destruction of the family. Our romantic relationships are reduced to “same sex attraction” which emphasizes only the physical part of a partnership. A partnership just as dynamic and rich as heterosexual ones. It’s difficult to reconcile how members can love me but also believe that my own relationships and identity are a threat to their marriage, family, and society.

Usually the week after conference my social media is filled with gratitude for #gencon posts, links to inspiring talks, and pictures of visiting the beautiful Utah canyons, but it’s an incomplete picture. Hiding among the gratitude posts next to the memes of helpline numbers for the LGBTQ+ community (and especially its youth) is the elephant in the room. The elephant being all the messages given that we with our “non-traditional” families cannot exist in exalted eternities. I have a lot of good memories of conference but as I’ve grown older I can see how gencon increasingly strains relationships due to counsel about the queer community. What is said about us causes pain for many members, past and present. 

If I voice my worries leading up to conference it’s common to hear “just don’t listen then” or “why do you care?” Sought out or not, people still get exposed to the harmful messages whether that’s through news, social media, break room chatter, or altered relationships. For many, it comes from unwelcome text messages from “concerned” loved ones. This is all to say that conference doesn’t exist in a vacuum. What’s said gets repeated, internalized, and causes action. For example, counsel to not be alone with a member of the opposite sex can influence employment or promotions. Counsel about youth can alter friendships, and counsel regarding queer children can drastically change family dynamics.

I don’t understand why every conference includes remarks about the LGBTQ+ community that can affect our family, social, and work relationships let alone inspire helpline memes. I hope for a gencon free of describing fellow humans as poisoned wells, dead trees, counterfeit, bitter fruit, destroying families, and under Satan’s power. In reality, until members hold their leaders accountable for their harmful messages as loudly as they celebrate the inspiring ones, we can expect the rhetoric to continue to become more dire.

Launch Party for the Fall 2024 Issue

Everyone is invited to our upcoming launch party for our Fall 2024 issue. In this issue, writers respond to the theme “Stranger Than Fiction.” It’s packed with artwork, poetry, book reviews and interviews. These evenings are a great opportunity to sit back, listen and have your cup filled with sisterhood and sibling hood. Join us! Register at:  tinyurl.com/exiiparty

Featured image is “If Only: A Tribute to Chronic Pain” by Ashley Mansfield Hoth, which will be included alongside her writing in this issue.