Exponent II's Blog, page 21

Answering the Temple Recommend Questions Was Not Feeding My Spirit

Sometimes, I feel I am suffering from spiritual malnutrition. 

Someone could be consuming their daily recommended number of calories while not taking in the right nutrients that their body needs to function optimally. 

Similarly, I am on a journey to find the nutrients that my spirit needs to function optimally, not just to meet its basic functions. 

Any dietitian worth their salt would tell you that the recommended daily value of nutrients will vary based on each person’s body composition and lifestyle. 

For me, the temple recommend questions currently feel like a recommended caloric intake. They are questions suggested in general for what one would need to do to be spiritually “fed.” (They use the word worthy, but that’s an entirely separate blog post… or 5). But, right now, I need different questions to have a nutritious spiritual diet that is feeding my spirit and giving it the energy that it craves. 

For many people, just being able to answer the temple recommend questions to get a recommend is difficult enough, and I do not want to diminish that struggle at all. In fact, some people may have “allergies” to some of the temple recommend questions, while others may be following a spiritual “vegan” diet, and they may need to alter their “spiritual diet” accordingly. 

Right now, I am supplementing my spiritual diet with my own “recommend” questions. These questions are not to hold me back from doing anything but rather to check my alignment with my values. I hope that over time, these questions will change. Some may become so habitual that I do not need to check in on them anymore. Some may develop new angles, while others may need to be rephrased entirely. 

These are my spiritual nutrition questions. My goal is to check in with them more regularly than every 2 years. There are no punishments if I do not answer “appropriately,” but rather an invitation to re-align myself with my values and the spiritual strength I seek. Borrowing from recent changes to the Church’s temple recommend questions, these questions liberally use the word “strive.” 

Do you have hope in Heavenly Mother, Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ? Do you strive to believe in the dignity of all of our Heavenly Parents’ children?Do you strive to treat all of God’s children with dignity and respect?Do you strive to believe in the ongoing restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ? Do you strive to believe that your body was made in God’s image, and do you treat it accordingly? Do you strive to practice spirituality and seek to connect with God in your daily life? When and where possible, do you donate resources (time, energy, talents, etc.) to help uplift the “least of these?”Do you have hope for Christ’s mercy and grace through His atonement? When you fall short of your potential, do you seek to make things right? Do you strive to love others?Do you love your enemies? Do you seek the voice of the spirit in your life?Do you seek equal partnership with your spouse and practice active listening to strengthen your relationship with them? Do you strive to “mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort?” (Romans 12:15)Do you strive to practice gratitude? Are you aware of God’s hand comforting you in your life? 

These questions are not an exhaustive list of everything one could need for a spiritual life. For me, they help me remember what is most important right now. When Sunday church is not feeding me, I visit these questions to see what is missing. Then, I examine what I would like to do to fill that spiritual hunger. 

Opening up the freedom to explore in different ways has helped me connect with God through unique channels, and I love it. 

For example, I found that I was really struggling to love my enemies. Just like when I learned I should be eating more fiber and added chia seeds to my diet, I decided I needed to add more love for my enemies to my diet. I started listening to podcasts that bring people of different perspectives together to discuss issues. I found I still did not agree with the people on the “other side,” but I saw them as real people, doing their best, not fools or monsters. It has helped me change how I dialogue with those people so we can get along better. 

I have also given myself permission to seek whatever feeds my spirit and my cravings. I practice meditation and choice statements from the work of Louise Hay. I read from scholars and theologians of a variety of religions and appreciate the beauty they have found. 

Perhaps my favorite is to enjoy a nice “spiritual dessert” of listening to a beautiful symphony or opera and letting the voice of God speak through the music. 

No one is going to ask me in a temple recommend interview if I am doing these things. There is no church requirement to ensure a well-rounded spiritual diet, but my soul craves it and my development requires it. 

If you could write your own “spiritual nutrition questions,” what would you ask yourself? What “nutrients” does your spiritual body crave right now? 

Guest Post: In the Shadow of the Steeple

Image produced with AI

By Anonymous

In sacred halls where prayers ascend,
A silent echo finds no end.
The sisters’ voices, soft and low,
In shadows cast, unheard they go.
The pulpit towers, the quorum’s decree—
Yet none were built to carry me.

Emma stood with trembling hand,
The weight of Zion in her stand.
A paper, inked with heaven’s claim,
Yet branded with another’s name.
A revelation cloaked in flame—
She cast it in the fire’s breath,
Refused to share her husband’s death
Of trust, of choice, of love made ash.
Still history paints her in a flash
Of bitterness, not holy wrath.

Where was her voice when saints were led?
Why must her fire burn in dread?
Was not her heart as full of God,
Her path as firm, her knees as shod?

Eliza Snow, with poet’s grace,
Once dared to bless, to heal, embrace.
With hands outstretched, she called down light,
A priestess veiled in borrowed right.
The sick were soothed, the babies blessed,
Till power’s fear laid her to rest.
“No more,” they said. “This gift, too great,
Belongs to quorum, not to faith.”
And so the healing hands withdrew—
A hush where miracles once flew.

Relief Society, born free,
Was shuttered for its agency.
Brigham feared the women’s voice
Could challenge priesthood’s narrowed choice.
And so they paused the mighty thread—
The loom gone quiet, the sisters fled
To silence, waiting to be heard,
Their prayers like wings without a bird.

They taught of Her, the Mother Divine—
Then buried Her beneath the shrine.
“She’s too sacred,” the brethren say,
To name, to seek, to love, to pray.
Yet how do daughters know their worth
Without the One who gave them birth?

Maxine wrote with scholar’s pen,
Asked, “What of us? And where? And when?”
They labeled her a threat, a foe,
And silenced what they feared to know.
Her questions burned with holy heat—
But fire, it seems, is incomplete
When sparked within a woman’s chest;
The brethren only call it “mess.”

Kate Kelly knelt in temple square,
Not to storm, but just to care.
She asked for voice, for place, for part—
They tore her from the fold and heart.
Exiled for her hopeful plea,
While patriarchy claimed decree.
They said she fought the “wrong” way through—
Yet there was no right door to pursue.

And still today, the elder boy
Commands, while sisters serve with joy—
But never lead the flock or zone,
Though just as called, as kind, as grown.
No vote, no seat, no equal weight,
Just silent nods to close the gate.

A conference stand with suited line—
Where are the voices feminine?
The daughters taught to seek the skies
Now sit in pews with lowered eyes.
We bear the weight of untold things,
Of births and deaths and angel wings.
We build the kingdom stone by stone—
But do not speak when stones are thrown.

Oh, brothers, can you hear the cry
That echoes through the vaulted sky?
If roles reversed, would you not yearn
For seats at tables yet unturned?
To speak, to bless, to prophesy,
Not merely in the shadows lie?

We do not seek to steal or reign—
We seek to lift, to heal the strain.
To sit beside, not kneel below.
To bring the gifts we’ve longed to show.
To shape the Church with voice and hand,
And walk with you, not in the sand
That’s swept beneath the chapel door—
We are the saints you’re longing for.

So listen now: this is our plea—
A daughter’s voice, a prophet’s seed.
Not for rebellion, nor for pride,
But for the God who walks beside.
Let’s build a Zion vast and wide—
Where every voice is sanctified.
Where Emma’s tears are understood,
And Eliza’s power is called good.

Where Heavenly Mother walks the halls,
And every daughter hears Her call.
Until then, we weep, and work, and wait,
And whisper through the chapel gate:
We are still here. We are not gone.
Our fire, though smothered, still burns on.

Sunday Mornings, Sacred Stories: Spiritual Autobiographies at the Exponent II Retreat

Consider attending this year’s Exponent II Retreat on September 19-21, 2025, at the Barbara C. Harris Center in Greenfield, New Hampshire! Registrations opens May 3. Learn more here.

Editor’s Note: This post is part of the Exponent II Retreat Blog Series, offering a peek into the retreat’s cherished history and traditions. Spiritual Autobiographies, a Sunday morning staple since Exponent II’s first national retreat in 1983, were inspired by Lavina Fielding Anderson’s 1982 talk, “On Being Happy: An Exercise in Spiritual Autobiography.” Below, we’re sharing a powerful introduction to this tradition by Exponent II Founding Mother Judy Dushku, along with the moving essay, “The God I Don’t Believe In,” first published anonymously in 2015. Another example, “Claiming Space” by Margaret Olsen Hemming, appears in Fifty Years of Exponent II.

An Introduction, by Judy Dushku

On the Sunday that ends an Exponent retreat, the morning session features a few women invited to share their “spiritual autobiographies.” While the atmosphere at these lovely weekends in New Hampshire is reliably open to widespread self-disclosure, there is always the sense that we don’t get enough time to come to know one another deeply and well. One may participate in a workshop or discuss a presentation given on a particular topic; another may offer up a song or poem; but the spiritual autobiographies are longer and allow the women who give them to reveal much more of themselves. They have time to reflect and are able to put “where they are today” into a lifelong context of spiritual growing. We listeners learn that who we see in front of us is one part of a woman; but there have been times when other parts of that same woman were what we would have seen. We might never have known her in her complexity unless she shared it. There’s a great message in these long views for any of us: What we are today may not be what we become. And that is not only exciting, but also helpful. It is a testimony to possibilities, and how they just keep on revealing themselves.

At this September’s retreat, a dear friend and fellow retreater (who prefers to publish anonymously) and Margaret Olsen Hemming gave their spiritual autobiographies. The first autobiographer began as the picture of casual self-acceptance. She joked pointedly about how she doesn’t run around as much anymore at Exponent retreats. Those who haven’t known her over the years may not have gotten the joke, but they did sense that there was something special in that stated achievement. And there is. This woman has lived a life of such horrific psychological and physical sexual abuse at the hands of her father that at retreats during the last twenty years, she was scarcely able to stay in a room when others spoke of fathers or loving embrace or even gratitude to a Heavenly Father. When others shared their feelings about those subjects, she would literally flee to the woods, or hide in a cabin or under one. The retreats alone did not make this strong woman heal; but she explained how they were part of the healing package that she could depend on by coming back, as she pushed through years of work to learn to trust—especially men. She explained the particularly challenging path she had to push herself along to come to know her Father in Heaven, and to feel a safety in the idea that He was with her. Now a guide for others recovering from abuse, this Exponent sister had a beautiful story to tell of the power of sisterhood that fit wonderfully into the narrative of the retreat where so many spoke of the value of finding a place to feel safe and supported by women.

A younger, newer attendee to Exponent retreats, and also the new editor for Exponent II, Margaret has a different story. Raised in a loving, feminist family that she thought was typically Mormon, Margaret did not sense her differentness until moving to Utah and going to high school in a predominantly Mormon community. This difference was highlighted again when serving in AmeriCorps with teammates who shared her social beliefs, but questioned her religious affiliation. She insisted to both she was not split, but rather fully embraced both the radical ideas she had in common with her fellows in AmeriCorps, as well as the ideas from her devout LDS faith. Her quest to find peace with all this complexity led her to Exponent II, where she says she has found a place to explore this challenge. Who knew that this calmly nursing mom was capable of such unseen turbulence?

We normally don’t publish these autobiographies, but by way of explaining to those curious why there is so often such powerful devotion to these retreat experiences, we thought to publish the two from this year. They tell what we all discovered about two women we love at a retreat of caring sisters during a weekend in New England.

Photo Credit: Anna ReamThe God I Don’t Believe in, by Anonymous

The author is a mother and a grandmother and is making her first efforts to decorate her home with things she loves. She finds knitting in church to be a solace.

I used to have a lot of panic attacks and I’d feel like I just had to get up and run away. Maybe it’s too bad I don’t have them anymore—I got more exercise that way! But very recently, I realized that a lot of the panic attacks happened in situations connected to religion: church and the Exponent II retreat. I would hear things that would cause a terrible dissonance inside me, and I would flee. There were a couple different causes. One was that people were talking about positive experiences that I had never had and didn’t understand, like feeling a strong sense of community. But the other circumstance was that people were talking about a God that I eventually realized I did not believe in.

For this to make sense, I need to give you some background. I was born to a teenage mother who didn’t know much about being a mother. She had been told that you can feed your baby on the same schedule as you feed yourself, and then put the baby in bed after supper and let them cry. In three or four days they stop crying. And they do stop crying, because they have given up. So the first thing I learned in my life is that no one is going to come help me and there’s nothing I can do to change that. Then a few years later my father started to have sex with me, and told me it was my fault, and I believed all of that, so now I was a very bad person and fathers were not to be trusted. The Protestant church I grew up in didn’t put a lot of emphasis on God doing things for His children, so there wasn’t much dissonance there. But then as an adult I investigated and joined the Mormon church, and the dissonance started, and the panic attacks started.

People sometimes say it was easy for them to believe in a loving Heavenly Father because of the good relationship they had with their earthly parents. That works both ways. If earthly parents are not loving, it is very hard to think a Heavenly Father will be loving. So, to me, God was scary and capricious and did whatever He wanted to for his own purposes, no matter how much pain it caused me.

I didn’t want to believe God loved me. I already had one father who said he loved me, and I knew how that worked out.

But I had a couple of friends who kept insisting that God loves me and that it was a good thing. And I kept asking, “Doesn’t your balloon ever land?” They just kept insisting that I was wrong. Over time, they wore me down. Could it maybe be that they were right? I was starting to learn that the things my parents had done were not my fault. Was it maybe a little bit possible my friends were right? I began to think about the idea that God might be a Father who was kind and decent and truly loving—and it sounded so good! I wanted it to be true. I struggled and prayed for years, and eventually I began to think, for tiny moments at a time, that perhaps He really did love me, but I couldn’t hang on to the feeling. It would slip through my fingers after just a few minutes and then take months to find again.

After years of this, one day I had an idea. The idea was to write a letter to God, and then to write down the answer. I immediately thought it was a terrible idea, that it was probably some kind of heresy and I should forget the whole thing. Except I couldn’t forget it, and then I made the error of telling the two “balloon” friends, who both thought it was a great idea and I should do it immediately. I couldn’t stop thinking about it no matter what, so eventually I sat down and wrote my letter, crying and shaking so hard I could barely ready my own writing, and then I sat and waited for the answer.

The answer was from a Father who was loving and kind and patient, who saw my sins and loved me anyway, who wanted me to heal and grow. The answer had no condemnation, which at the time I couldn’t manage on the best day I’d ever had. The answer made me believe, in a way that I could never deny, that God loves me no matter what. And I never lose it anymore, and if I do, all I need to do is to say it, that I know my Heavenly Father loves me, and I feel it all again.

I continued writing letters for several months and they all helped me heal. One I remember in particular started when I was ina very bad mood but had an unshakable feeling that I needed to write a letter. I stomped around the house, livid, trying to locate a functioning pen. When I found one, I scribbled, “OK, OK, I’m here, what do you want?” There may have been an expletive or two in there. And there was no answer. “What, you won’t talk to me when I’m yelling?”

Finally there was an answer, very calm and quiet and not at all angry. “No, but you can’t hear me when you’re yelling.”

“Oh.”

My anger deflated and I proceeded to learn what my Father wanted to tell me. The letters helped me heal and reminded me consistently that He loves me.

But there was a lot of dissonance at church. The worst of it was caused by talks about a different kind of God: the God I don’t believe in.

This version of God is quite popular. I hear about Him a lot at church. The God I don’t believe in picks and chooses who He cares about, who He protects. I’ve noticed that many people are very willing to believe that God only protects some of His children, the ones that are in the right group: their group. The God I don’t believe in has a magic wand that He waves and magically stops bad things from happening to the chosen people. He heals some people’s bodies, and leaves other people to suffer. He is temperamental and capricious. I once heard Him described as letting bad things happen to us so we have to acknowledge how much we need Him—is this a God with thumbscrews? He rescues some children, and ignores the misery of other children. Eventually I figured out that either I had to stop believing in God entirely, or I had to believe that He is not at all like that.

He is not at all like that.

Years ago I heard a story in church about a girl who walked home through a park after a babysitting job. She saw a man sitting on a bench and he looked scary, so she prayed, and soon arrived home safely. Later that evening, she and her father were listening to the news and heard a horrifying item about a girl’s body found in the park. She told her father about the man she saw, they contacted the police, and their description helped the police find the man. When questioned as to why he didn’t bother the first girl, the man replied that she had not been alone, there were two men walking with her. My immediate and heartbroken reaction was to wonder what was wrong with the other kid that God couldn’t love her.

Of course, the answer is that nothing is wrong with the other kid. God doesn’t pick which children He protects because their parents taught them to pray, or because they belong to the right religion, or anything else. Bad things happen and God doesn’t stop those bad things from happening. I believe that one of Satan’s biggest and most successful PR campaigns has been to make humans believe that God protects those He loves, those He has chosen. If we believe that, then when something awful happens to us—we get mugged, we get sick, there is a natural disaster, there is a terrorist attack, anything—and we don’t get protected from it, we either hate ourselves for being the kind of person God cannot love, or we cease to believe a loving Father even exists. Either one suits Satan’s purposes.

I believe that all the promises of God, at least all the ones I know about, mean He will protect us spiritually so we will not become evil. God doesn’t see death as tragic. We are all going to die, the death rate on this planet is 100%, and when we die He gets us back. Becoming evil is the real tragedy. He promises to hold our hands and support us while we go through the terrible things that happen to us. And He does not stop the bad things from happening to us, because we signed up for this plan. What were we thinking? I imagine that we were thinking, “Great, I get agency, look how much it will help me grow,” and not thinking “Everyone will get agency, and some of them will use it to do really terrible things!” Maybe we had no way to even imagine the terrible things.

God loves us. He loves us all. He is not always enchanted by our behavior, but He always loves us. He doesn’t stop bad things from happening, He doesn’t stop helping us when we try to get through the bad things, and He never, ever stops loving us.

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Featured image credit, Gloria Pak

Guest Post: What About Our Young Women?

by S.D.

This past conference the deacons were celebrated from the pulpit. Young Men’s President Steven J. Lund said that newly ordained deacons are cause for celebration, “seeing this rolling thunder of newly ordained priesthood holders spreading across the earth…There should be parades!” My son, just last year, was one of the newly ordained. He is akin to rolling thunder. He is magnificent to me and while I have this complicated feeling about priesthood and the fact that he passes the sacrament and I never will, I am so proud of the young man that he is.

But when I heard this talk, my heart pled silently, “what about our Young Women?” What about my nieces and my two daughters who will yet be Young Women? Do we tell them they are akin to rolling thunder when they come of age? Do we exclaim there should be parades that our Young Women walk the earth? I guess we know that it would be disingenuous to do so. It would be disingenuous to hold a metaphorical, celebratory parade because at the end of it, we would simply place the Young Women at the chapel doors to stand quietly. I am grateful Young Women can be ushers now. I find it meaningful. Yet, at the same time, I recognize I am grateful for and find meaning in something that feels like breadcrumbs. I see the Young Women stand at the chapel doors each week. I smile at them. I thank them for being there, but I wonder, if they did not come the next week, would anyone notice? I worry that someday they will shrink before our eyes. I worry that they will fade, that they will turn invisible. I worry because I have to wonder, do the Young Women know they are akin to rolling thunder? Does the church know?

Where are the sacred duties and responsibilities of our Young Women? Why can’t our church find sacred duties and responsibilities within the church for our Young Women? Is it because as Elder Oaks said in this past conference, “Ideally, both [parents] are present, with different gifts to guide our growth. If not, their absence is part of the opposition we must overcome.” He is speaking of our mortal life, but our spiritual lives suffer from an absent Mother. Where is she? What does she do? Would I like to do what she does? Am I like Her? How can I be like Her? Are these questions some of the “opposition we must overcome,” because we are without Her? Without Her do we find it impossible to imagine the potential of our Young Women? Without Her do we find it impossible to give sacred duties and responsibilities within the church to Her daughters? Maybe a divine feminine just can’t be revealed within a patriarchy and if the patriarchy did reveal her, would I believe them?

What is Mother like? Where do I find her? What would she say to me? I imagine her running somewhere outside the patriarchy larger than life, divine, eternal, sublime. She is rolling thunder, She is the rising sun. I want to run with Her and hold Her hand and know who She is and therefore know who I am.

The first time I placed questions about Heavenly Mother and the priesthood on my proverbial shelf was during my years at BYU. I remember sitting in a sacrament meeting on campus and just wondering to myself about Heavenly Mother. What in the world does She do? What does my eternal future look like? Do I want whatever that is? I remember ceasing to pay tithing because of my questions about the priesthood and its exclusion of women from ordination. I went to talk to my Bishop about this. I told him I had stopped paying tithing. He asked me if I had used the money to buy extra jewelry or something. How could I ask this person about the priesthood? How could I find understanding from this particular person? I gratefully have found understanding from my husband, from my parents and siblings. I have found understanding from dear friends and some ward communities. But I am shrinking in my current ward. I am shrinking. I am fading. I am turning invisible. I find myself metaphorically standing quietly outside the chapel doors. Am I needed here? Am I valued here? Am I needed in this church? Am I valued in this church?

My calling has kept me hidden away in nursery, which is just as well, because when I attend Relief Society or Sunday School I just weep and I can’t find the words to make the comments I want to. I worry that what I think and feel and believe won’t be understood or accepted as valid.

My “shelf” has been bending under the weight of what has been placed there for years. It recently broke and I find myself reeling. What is true? Who is God and how can I know for myself? I have devoured the words written and spoken by women in these sacred online spaces. Thank you for your words. They have strengthened me. I am gaining courage to share my voice, speak my pain, cause some trouble. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your dissent, your faith, your strength and wisdom. I know you don’t need me to say this, your words make you seem so strong, but please don’t shrink, don’t fade, don’t turn invisible. I need you. Women need you. The Young Women need you. They wait so patiently outside those chapel doors. I weep and weep for them. I will use my voice for them.

S.D. is a forty-six year old mother of four children, ages ranging from 5-12. She writes this missive to the Exponent II community from the beauty of her backyard as she watches her dear ones play.

Guest Post: A Tribute to Pope Francis

by Carol Brown

By At his passing, I honor Pope Francis for his love of the poor, for speaking truth to power, and for showing us what Christlike love looks like, whether it is washing,  drying, and kissing the feet of female inmates, apologizing for past iniquities of the church, and seeking to reduce financial scandal in the church’s hierarchy. “Being homosexual is not a crime,” he told The Associated Press in 2023, urging an end to civil laws that criminalize it. He even allowed women to sit beside bishops and vote with them on important global church decisions.

I celebrate that he reached out to those often forgotten by society—when he washed the feet of a Muslim prisoner, knelt on his hands and feet to implore South Sudan rival leaders to make peace, or often stopped to bless a child.  I honor how he urged mankind to better care for the planet. In 2015, he issued a papal letter that said climate change is a global problem and called for an “integral ecology” that respects both human beings and the environment.

Pope Francis dared to confront international leaders when he believed they were misguided. In February 2016, when asked about then-candidate Trump’s proposal to build a border wall and make Mexico pay for it, Francis said, “A person who only thinks about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian. That is not the gospel.”

In a homily in Colombia in 2017, Francis described “how Jesus took his followers out to the lepers and the sinners and the paralytics, so that they would not rest in the security of precepts and prohibitions but would be forced to ask the uncomfortable question: ‘What would God like us to do?’”  He challenged the Church to” lay aside comforts and attachments” and to “embrace Jesus’ way of life, particularly love transformed into acts of non-violence, reconciliation and peace.”

In February 2025, when Vice President JD Vance used the Catholic concept of ordo amoris to justify mass deportation.  Francis attacked Vance’s claim, saying, “Christians know very well that it is only by affirming the infinite dignity of all that our own identity as persons and as communities reaches its maturity. Christian love is not a concentric expansion of interests that little by little extend to other persons and groups. In other words: The human person is not a mere individual, relatively expansive, with some philanthropic feelings! The human person is a subject with dignity who, through the constitutive relationship with all, especially with the poorest, can gradually mature in his identity and vocation,”

Pope Francis wrote. “The true ordo amoris that must be promoted is that which we discover by meditating constantly on the parable of the ‘Good Samaritan’ (cf. Lk 10:25-37), that is, by meditating on the love that builds a fraternity open to all, without exception.”

Of course, he made mistakes and questionable decisions as well, whether it regarded discrediting sexual abuse survivors in Chile in 2018, failing to remove an anti-gay statement from Catholic policies, strictly opposing abortion, and encouraging an all-male celibate priesthood. But as far as social justice, compassion, and greater equity, he made monumental strides in bringing the Catholic Church into the 21st Century.

Instead of living in the ornate papal residence, he insisted on living in the simple quarters of a Vatican guest house. He refused to wear the traditional fancy red shoes, he wore regular black shoes. In 2020 he even spoke of non-Catholics who inspired him, including Martin Luther King Jr., Desmond Tutu and Mahatma Gandhi.

I am grateful that Pope Francis spoke out for those who suffer. In November, 2023, he said, The poor, whether “the oppressed, fatigued, marginalized, victims of war, migrants, the hungry, those without work or left without hope, are not one, two, or three, they are a multitude,” during a Mass for the World Day of the Poor in St. Peter’s Basilica.

He added: “And thinking of this immense multitude of the poor, the message of the Gospel is clear: let us not bury the wealth of the Lord. Let us spread charity, share our bread, and multiply love. Poverty is a scandal.”

Pope Francis devoted his life to building strong relationships with Jewish leaders and spoke boldly against antisemitism, yet in January, 2025, he also called the humanitarian situation in the Palestinian enclave “very serious and shameful” and in his last Easter message, he again pleaded for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza.

Even President Russell M. Nelson, who visited briefly with Pope Francis in 2019, issued a statement today that described the Pope as “most gracious and warm and welcoming. What a sweet, wonderful man he is, and how fortunate the Catholic people are to have such a gracious, concerned, loving, and capable leader.” This was the first visit an LDS president has met with a pope.

I found the Pope’s tweets and statements often wise, thought-provoking, and sometimes hard-hitting, and I will miss them.  I will miss him. He inspired me to try to be a little kinder, charitable, and like Jesus. He also had the courage to speak out when world leaders were cruel, merciless, and malevolent. Isn’t that what prophets do?

In a break with tradition, Pope Francis has requested that his body be placed in a simple wooden coffin and not be raised on the traditional elevated bier in St. Peter’s Basilica. Instead of being interred in the Basilica, he has asked to be buried in the Basilica of St. Mary Major because of his strong devotion to Mary.  

A writer, volunteer, and community activist, Carol has been inspired by leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Desmond Tutu, and Pope Francis.

 

Guest Post: Why Women Leave First, and Husbands Follow

Guest Post by Naomi McAllister Noorda

Why are we seeing this pattern of women leaving the church, followed by their husbands?

In pondering this phenomenon of women choosing to leave a place that no longer helps them in their development of self, marriage, faith, family, and more, I had an “aha” moment. I have heard this story before. Hundreds of times, in fact. Mostly within the walls of the temple.

Many of us here at Exponent II are so familiar with this allegory that we could recite it word for word, but here is the gist: Eve chose to partake of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, even though it would mean leaving the comfort of the Garden of Eden, because she saw something of value in it. She then shares this fruit with Adam, who at first despairs because she did so without being commanded to, but ultimately recognizes wisdom in her choice and also eats the fruit.

Why do women leave first and husbands leave second?

Because we are daughters of Eve.

It is in our spiritual DNA to be the ones to instigate a difficult but necessary change, and for our husbands to recognize our wisdom (our knowledge of good and evil, if you will) and come with us.

Eve made the choice to leave the Garden of Eden in favor of the lone and dreary world because it meant the ability to have children and progress intellectually. Adam chose to go with her -hopefully because he also wanted these things for them, and not just because he would miss being with her.

Many women in the church today make a similarly impossible decision to leave the comforts of a familiar faith community in favor of a sometimes lonely world because they want the best for their children, and want to continue progressing intellectually, unfettered by institutionalized sexism. Many husbands choose to go with their wives -hopefully because they also want these things for themselves, their wives, and children, and not just because remaining active would now mean getting the children ready for church independently every Sunday.

In both cases, outsiders tend to give way too much credit to Satan for this decision to leave, and not nearly enough credit to wise, thoughtful women making difficult decisions In an effort to move us forward. Leaving the garden in favor of a lonely world requires deep courage and trust in our Heavenly Parents.

Next time an area authority poses this question, maybe we can tell him that we learned this pattern in the temple.

Naomi has a masters degrees in family studies and human development from BYU. She loves thrifting, serving in her ward’s relief society, and being a mom to her daughter.

Our Bloggers Recommend: Recognizing International Mother Earth Day

“The United Nations General Assembly proclaimed 22 April as International Mother Earth Day through a resolution adopted in 2009. The Day recognizes the Earth and its ecosystems as humanity’s common home and the need to protect her to enhance people’s livelihoods, counteract climate change, and stop the collapse of biodiversity.

Across Asia and the Pacific, women and girls – especially those from rural, Indigenous, and marginalized communities – are at the frontlines of climate change and environmental degradation. While they often bear the brunt of environmental crises, they are also powerful agents of change. Women are stewards of natural resources, innovators in climate solutions, and leaders in community resilience. Yet, their contributions too often go unrecognized, and they continue to face barriers to full and equal participation in environmental decision-making.

On International Mother Earth Day 2025, UN Women calls for urgent action to protect our planet while advancing gender equality. A sustainable future is only possible when women and girls are empowered to lead climate and environmental action – when their knowledge, leadership, and rights are at the heart of efforts to restore and safeguard Mother Earth. ” (Text and Photo credit) Read Women’s Stories about how they contributed to International Mother Earth Day.

Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 41-44 “My Law to Govern My Church”

In 1831, a group of converts to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) in Kirtland, Ohio, started an experiment in communal living, but it didn’t go well. People were literally stealing the clothes off each others’ backs. Joseph Smith iterated on their good intentions with a new program administered by the Church. In Doctrine and Covenants 41, he called the first bishop, Edward Partridge, to administer the Law of Consecration, based on rules and strategies outlined in Doctrine and Covenants 42. That program didn’t go well either and was eventually abandoned, but the principle of the caring for the poor is still an important tenant of the Church today, and the law of Consecration is a covenant we still make in our modern temple endowment ceremony.

Table of ContentsCommunal Living at Morley Farm in Kirtland, Ohio in 1831The Law of Consecration, Then and NowThe Law of Consecration in the Temple Endowment“Thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation”Communal Living at Morley Farm in Kirtland, Ohio in 1831

In February 1831, Joseph and Emma Smith moved to Kirtland Ohio, where there was a community of converts to the newly established Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The latter part of January, in company Brother Sidney Rigdon and Edward Partridge, I started with my wife for Kirtland, Ohio, where we arrived about the first of February, and were kindly received and welcomed into the house of brother N[ewel] K. Whitney. I and my wife lived in the family of Brother Whitney several weeks, and received every kindness and attention, which could be expected, and especially from Sister [Elizabeth Smith] Whitney. The branch of the church of church in this part of the Lord’s vineyard, which had increased to nearly one hundred members, were striving to do the will of God, so far as they knew it; though some strange notions and false spirits had crept in among them.

—Joseph Smith, “History, 1838–1856, volume A-1 [23 December 1805–30 August 1834],” January-February 1831, Joseph Smith Papers

Lucy and Isaac Morley Farm in Kirtland Ohio, as it appears today.

What Joseph Smith considered “strange” was that most of the Mormons in Kirtland were attempting a communal living experiment, funded by the generosity of Lucy and Isaac Morley.

When he arrived in Ohio, Joseph found the Saints there to be sincere but confused about the biblical teaching that early Christians “were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common” (Acts 4:32). Many of the Church’s converts in Ohio were members of “the Family,” a communal group that shared the home and farm of Lucy and Isaac Morley in an effort to be true Christians.

—Steven C. Harper, The Law, Revelations in Context, 2016

While the experiment was well-intended, in practice, it wasn’t going well.

The disciples had all things common and were going to destruction very fast as to temporal things: for they considered from reading the scripture that what belonged to a brother belonged to any of the brethren, therefore they would take each others clothes and other property and use it without leave: which brought on confusion and disappointments: for they did not understand the scripture.

—John Whitmer, History, 1831–circa 1847, Chapter 11, Joseph Smith Papers

Why can it be challenging to share worldly possessions?How can we address these challenges?

Joseph Smith called Edward Partridge to be the LDS Church’s first bishop and oversee church members in Kirtland.

9 And again, I have called my servant Edward Partridge; and I give a commandment, that he should be appointed by the voice of the church, and ordained a bishop unto the church, to leave his merchandise and to spend all his time in the labors of the church;

10 To see to all things as it shall be appointed unto him in my laws in the day that I shall give them.

11 And this because his heart is pure before me, for he is like unto Nathanael of old, in whom there is no guile.

—Doctrine and Covenants 41:9-11

Doctrine and Covenants describes how Joseph Smith, Edward Partridge and other church leaders were instructed to determine how best to govern the converts in Kirtland.

2 Hearken, O ye elders of my church whom I have called, behold I give unto you a commandment, that ye shall assemble yourselves together to agree upon my word;

3 And by the prayer of your faith ye shall receive my law, that ye may know how to govern my church and have all things right before me.

—Doctrine and Covenants 41:2-3

Have could this process help us receive instruction from God?

In Doctrine and Covenants 42, Joseph Smith recorded “the Law” that resulted from this process.

The Saints considered the revelation found in Doctrine and Covenants 42:1–72 to be one of the most important the Prophet had received. It was one of the first revelations to be published. For many years, the Saints called it simply “the law.”

—Doctrine and Covenants Come Follow Me

The Law documented in Doctrine and Covenants 42 included some remedial correction for commune members who had been taking advantage of the system.

54 Thou shalt not take thy brother’s garment; thou shalt pay for that which thou shalt receive of thy brother.

—Doctrine and Covenants 42:54

Joseph Smith was satisfied that instituting rules and appointing a bishop to supervise the effort had a positive effect at Morley Farm.

With a little caution, and some wisdom, I soon assisted the brethren and sisters to overcome them [the strange notions and false spirits had crept in among them]. The plan of “common stock”, which had existed in what was called “the family,” whose members generally had embraced the everlasting gospel, was readily abandoned for the more perfect law of the Lord: and the false spirits were easily discerned and rejected by the light of revelation.

—Joseph Smith, “History, 1838–1856, volume A-1 [23 December 1805–30 August 1834],” January-February 1831, Joseph Smith Papers

The Law of Consecration, Then and Now

The Law of Doctrine and Covenants 42 instituted the Law of Consecration, which built on the good intentions demonstrated by the converts at Morley Farm but set up a new church program to administer the effort under the direction of Bishop Edward Partridge.

The Law included both eternal gospel principals and temporal strategies and tactics which have changed over time. Invite the class to silently read Doctrine and Covenants 42:30-34.

30 And behold, thou wilt remember the poor, and consecrate of thy properties for their support that which thou hast to impart unto them, with a covenant and a deed which cannot be broken.

31 And inasmuch as ye impart of your substance unto the poor, ye will do it unto me; and they shall be laid before the bishop of my church and his counselors, two of the elders, or high priests, such as he shall appoint or has appointed and set apart for that purpose.

32 And it shall come to pass, that after they are laid before the bishop of my church, and after that he has received these testimonies concerning the consecration of the properties of my church, that they cannot be taken from the church, agreeable to my commandments, every man shall be made accountable unto me, a steward over his own property, or that which he has received by consecration, as much as is sufficient for himself and family.

33 And again, if there shall be properties in the hands of the church, or any individuals of it, more than is necessary for their support after this first consecration, which is a residue to be consecrated unto the bishop, it shall be kept to administer to those who have not, from time to time, that every man who has need may be amply supplied and receive according to his wants.

34 Therefore, the residue shall be kept in my storehouse, to administer to the poor and the needy, as shall be appointed by the high council of the church, and the bishop and his council;

—Doctrine and Covenants 42:30-34

What eternal gospel principles do you see in these verses?How have the strategies and tactics described in these verses changed since 1831?How do we implement the eternal principles of the Law of Consecration today?

This video by the Conyers Georgia Stake provides an overview of how the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has organized efforts to obey the Law of Consecration using different strategies and tactics in different time periods through the history of the church.

Sharon Eubank, First Counselor of the General Relief Society Presidency, taught how the modern LDS Church cares for the poor in her October 2021 General Conference talk, I Pray He’ll Use Us.

These are all ways, organized through the priesthood, where small efforts collectively make a big impact, magnifying the many individual things we do as disciples of Jesus Christ.

—Sharon Eubank, I Pray He’ll Use Us, October 2021

How can working together in organized humanitarian efforts magnify our individual efforts?

This video contains excerpts from her talk.

Why is caring for the poor one of the pillars of the church?Can anyone share an experience in which you had the privilege of being the answer to someone’s prayers? Or someone else was the answer to yours?

A Message for Children from Thomas S. Monson demonstrates how children can begin exercising the Law of Consecration through small acts of service and kindness.

How have children in your family learned to serve others?The Law of Consecration in the Temple Endowment

The Law of Consecration is one of five covenants in the temple endowment. In the past, fewer covenants were listed in the endowment ceremony and these covenants were traditionally kept secret. Recent changes to the endowment ceremony have expanded the ceremony to include five covenants, with the new third covenant, the Law of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, containing several subsections. In contrast to the secrecy of the past, these covenants have been made publicly accessible in the Church Handbook of Instruction on the church website (Church Handbook of Instruction 27.2, Temple Ordinances for the Living > The Endowment).

Law of ObedienceLaw of SacrificeLaw of the Gospel of Jesus ChristFaithRepentanceMake covenants and receive ordinancesEndure to the endThe Two Great CommandmentsLove GodLove thy neighborLaw of ChastityLaw of Consecration

The temple endowment defines the Law of Consecration this way:

Members dedicate their time, talents, and everything with which the Lord has blessed them to building up Jesus Christ’s Church on the earth.

—Church Handbook of Instruction 27.2, Temple Ordinances for the Living > The Endowment

How do we consecrate our time and talents?

Jasmin Gimenez, whose blog, Temple Light, offers a more comprehensive temple preparation experience than is found in many church classes, describes the Law of Consecration in her blog post and accompanying video, The Law of Consecration | Covenants in the LDS Temple Endowment. Watch her video from time stamp 00:58-5:12 together as a class.

What is a Zion society?How does the Law of Consecration help us build a Zion society?

Steven C. Harper, author of Let’s Talk about the Law of Consecration, explained the link between the Law of Consecration and the two great commandments.

To consecrate is not to give away; it is to sanctify or make sacred or holy. Possessions, time, and spiritual gifts can be made sacred by offering them, but philanthropy is not consecration, nor is making a token offering of one’s abundance, as illustrated by the Gospel of Luke’s account of the Savior distinguishing between the rich men who cast gifts into the treasury and the widow who offered all (see Luke 21:1–4).

Consecration is keeping the two great commandments, where the key words are love and all. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself” (Luke 10:27; emphasis added). This command to consecrate all is reiterated in the Doctrine and Covenants: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength; and in the name of Jesus Christ thou shalt serve him” (D&C 59:5). The outward manifestation of all of one’s love has been identified by one scholar as “giving all we can” as compared to obligatory donations of what is required. Amounts of money and time may be the same in both scenarios, but one who gives all is consecrated. One who keeps back part is not yet consecrated (see Acts 5:1–11).

—Steven C. Harper, “All Things are the Lord’s”: The Law of Consecration in the Doctrine and Covenants, The Doctrine and Covenants: Revelations in Context, BYU Religious Studies Center, 2008

How is the Law of Consecration related to the two great commandments?How can we know if we have given all we can?How do we abide by the Law of Consecration while also following the scriptural admonition, “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means” (Doctrine and Covenants 10:4)?“Thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation”

The manual authors point out that as we learn…

We learn that we have a lot more to learn.

—Doctrine and Covenants Come Follow Me

Although LDS church leaders implemented the Law found in Doctrine and Covenants 42, instituting the Law of Consecration, this renewed attempt at a modified version of communal living also eventually failed, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints went on to iterate new ways to care for the poor and build a Zion society. Perhaps anticipating that this particular version of the Law would not be permanent, further instruction about how to seek additional revelation is found in Doctrine and Covenants 42:

61 If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.

—Doctrine and Covenants 42:61

How can learning cause us to realize we have a lot more to learn?How is receiving “revelation upon revelation” and “knowledge upon knowledge” different than simply receiving “revelation” and “knowledge”?

The Temple is Like Sex

The Temple is like Sex – it’s weird, you aren’t allowed to ask questions, and don’t you dare go to the internet to learn about it.

There are two big topics that are part of almost every adult’s life in the church that we never talk about, but should:

The TempleSex

They are both super top-secret activities that you aren’t allowed to know about until you’ve been initiated into the adult club where you’re finally allowed to participate. There is little to no explanation leading up to your first time, no follow up lessons and discussion, and don’t you dare go to the internet on your own to see what you can find out about them.

You’re allowed a little bit of exposure to both topics growing up (like you can kiss someone in high school, or go do baptisms for the dead), but until you’re married or endowed you belong to the little kids club and everyone else talks about it in coded language around you.

I want to compare my experiences with both of these life events:

BEFORE THEY HAPPEN:

Marriage (and sex) preparation:

We are warned explicitly to suppress our sexuality until marriage, especially once you become engaged. Suddenly nobody wanted me to be alone with my husband when he was upgraded from boyfriend to fiance – not my bishop, not our families, and not even our roommates. If you are about to become sexually active with someone for the rest of eternity, apparently you should not spend any time becoming physically comfortable with each other before jumping straight into intercourse on your wedding night. 

I took a very popular class at BYU called Marriage Prep, taught by Brent Barlow. If my memory serves correctly (which it may or may not) there was one single day dedicated to sex education. He pulled out a clear sheet with basic female anatomy printed on it and placed it on the overhead projector he used in class. He said, “This is a clitoris,” and circled it with a dry erase marker. “You men need to learn where this is and what it does.” 

On one hand, that is actually way more helpful than any sex ed anywhere else in the church. On the other hand, it’s not actually helpful at all. (For example, much more helpful would be – “Women, YOU need to know where your clitoris is and what it does. Then you can teach your husband, because he’s not going to know what to do with it if you can’t show him.”) Even more helpful would be literally anything beyond just teaching the name for a female body part. For example, share what the purpose of a clitoris is. Say the word “orgasm” or explain literally anything at all. 

I was also sent to a Provo area gynecologist for a “premarital exam”, where I was given a set of plastic dilators (a set of long round plastic tubes ranging from about pencil sized to penis sized) and told to use them at home to stretch myself out before my wedding night. This is one of the most bizarre BYU/Provo things I experienced. My gut told me that there was nothing wrong with my body, and certainly nothing so abnormal that I needed actual medical intervention in order to have sex the first time – so I just tossed the dilators. I was right. My body was fine, and that was a totally unhelpful and unnecessary anxiety-inducing appointment. What actually would’ve been helpful was a very frank and practical discussion of sex and what to expect (and not expect), and how to know when to ask for help if necessary.

TEMPLE PREPARATION:

Just like the super duper vague overhead projector discussion of my clitoris in BYU marriage prep class, I experienced a super duper vague temple prep class as well. I’ve forgotten a lot of it, but I know we talked about the creation and the book of Genesis. They do cover that same story in the temple endowment, but telling me that ahead of time was about as useful as Brother Barlow telling us that a clitoris exists whilst explaining none of the practical mechanics to anyone. 

Do you know what I needed a heads up about instead? Tell me details ahead of time about what I’d be asked on the spot to covenant to for all of eternity with no explanation or opportunity to ask questions about before agreeing. Tell me I’d be naked under a sheet and touched by an old lady with oil with no warning. Explain to me the sexist parts of the ceremony so I wouldn’t be blindsided by them in the middle of being sealed to my husband at the altar in front of a bunch of people. Let me see and touch the new underwear I’d be expected to put on and wear until my death at least once before covenanting to it forever.

But nope. Those things you just have to learn on the fly, I guess!

THE ACTUAL EXPERIENCE:

YOUR WEDDING NIGHT: It doesn’t matter how fan-freaking-tastic a lover your new spouse has the potential to become, when it’s the very first time either of you have ever done this brand-new thing, and you’re doing it at the end of the longest, most exhausting day of your life – it’s probably going to be “meh”. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. If we were raised in a culture that allowed for a more spontaneous, private and slow lead up to the first time you had sex, maybe the first time could be awesome for everyone involved. Instead, every person you’ve ever known (included your grandparents, your old primary teachers, your dad’s friends from his office, and your stake president) have had your wedding announcement on their fridge for a month – announcing to the world the date of the first time you’re going the have sex, as well as a picture of who you’re going to do it with! 

This is weird. Can we all admit it’s weird? Your first time having sex is also probably going to be weird.

YOUR TEMPLE ENDOWMENT: I have rarely had a person tell me they loved the temple the very first time they went through. Maybe they went on to love it at a later time (or not), but the first time they went through they were usually surprised at how different the experience was from what they anticipated. They usually went in expecting something life changing and spiritually amazing (at least I did) but left at least mildly disappointed and afraid to admit to anyone that it wasn’t the greatest experience of their life. And just like with sex, there was still a bunch of naked touching going on when I went through the temple in 2002.

AFTERWARDS:

Follow up from your wedding night: There is none! Just make sure you aren’t trying to look up anything about sex on the internet, because that’s pornography and it’s bad.

Follow up from the temple: There is none! Just make sure you aren’t trying to look up anything about the temple on the internet, because that’s anti-Mormon and it’s bad.

With both the temple and sex, you’re supposed to just keep doing it and hope it becomes awesome at some point. If anyone asks you about it, you’re expected to say it’s going very well and you love it, even if it’s not and you hate it. Admitting to anyone that you aren’t totally exhilarated by every moment of your sex life/temple worship would be unthinkable for most people.

Why are we like this? Do members of our church know that other churches don’t only offer, but require, premarital counseling before agreeing to marry a couple in the church? Part of these programs often include counseling about sex and intimacy with a licensed professional. Can we even imagine the benefits of removing the taboos around talking about our sex lives and actively trying to make them better with the help of someone whose entire career is built around giving couples happier and more intimate relationships?

Likewise, can we even imagine the benefits of removing the stigmas around not enjoying temple ceremonies and actually talking about how to make it a better experience that people will go to because they want to, not because they feel obligated to?

I’m going to be totally honest – sex got better for me, but the temple never did. If you’re the same as me, cool. If you’re the opposite of me, cool too. And if you love them both, or don’t like either of them – that’s all totally fine as well. But as a religious community, we’ve simply got to start talking about these things out in the open.

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Easter?

I’m looking back at the poems and service outlines from Lent and Easter zoom services in 2020. We were about a month into the pandemic and it felt like the life had been sucked out of living. The news was full of death and our lives shrunk to the size of our living spaces.

While our context has changed, there are new and pressing concerns about due process, emerging concentration camps, challenges to civil rights, the removal of DEI offices, information, and history, the over-regulation of education, ignoring the need for peer-reviewed information in making public health policy, and the list goes on. Just everything seems to be falling apart right now.

Reading what I wrote five years ago, the themes of grief, loss, and fear are the same, even as the situation is different. I was deep in a place of lament, trying to name all that had changed and every source of pain so that these feelings would not get buried and fester.

I’m not really feeling resurrection vibes at the moment. Easter has not arrived for me yet, but my prayers from that time still resonate for me today.

Dear God,
The cost of Lent was too high this year
We wandered in a wilderness we were not prepared for
Lost people we were not prepared to lose
Experienced new kinds of grief
And we are not yet out of the desert.

Easter is here and we are still here in the thick of it.
We were promised some kind of resurrection.
We are all Mary stuck at the empty tomb.
We have come to mourn our executed friend,
Filled with loss and love and sadness and fear,
Confused at what is happening now.
If there is a resurrection going on somewhere, God
We do not see it is happening here.

Help us to sit in this awful not knowing
Be with us in our fear and grief
Help us to resist easy answers to difficult questions
To trust that there is a next
To find strength to make the next better than the now
Amen.