Exponent II's Blog, page 124

Come Follow Me: Genesis 3-4; Moses 4-5 “The Fall of Adam and Eve”

Bible and Book of Common Prayer, Printed by Robert Barker , London, 1607

Begin the lesson by either

1) Starting a discussion about breaking or rejecting rules. Some sample questions:

“Has breaking a rule ever had a good outcome for you?”

“What is a rule your parents had that you have chosen not to have in your own home?”

“What should you do if someone with authority over you told you to do something, but you believe that course of action is morally wrong?”

Or

2) Intentionally breaking a carefully selected rule*. Explain what rule you broke. Invite the class to guess why you broke the rule and ask how they feel about you breaking the rule. Explain why you think it was moral to break the rule.

 

Read and discuss Moses 4:1-4. Note that Satan didn’t want people to have agency. Ask “What kind of behaviors or situations take away another person’s agency?” Depending on your class, you might use this time to discuss topics like controlling/abusive relationships or how to appropriately provide good boundaries with logical consequences to allow children to practice using their agency. Wise words I learned from a kindergarten teacher apply here: “Mistakes are for learning.”

 

Read this quote from Elder Renlund:

“Our Heavenly Father’s goal in parenting is not to have His children do what is right; it is to have His children choose to do what is right and ultimately become like Him. If He simply wanted us to be obedient, He would use immediate rewards and punishments to influence our behaviors.”

Relate this to how the Priesthood operates D&C 121:41-43:

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—

43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

 

Ask a class member to recount the story of the serpent beguiling Eve. (This article has an interesting take on what the word “beguile” means.) Note that snakes have been used as a symbol for many things: medicine, healing, danger, power, fertility, Christ (the brazen serpent that healed the Israelites). Have the class list the consequences of partaking of the fruit (Genesis 3:6, 14-19):

wisdomdeathserpent is cursedsorrow for both Adam and Evechildrenground is cursed for Adam’s sakeAdam shall rule over Eve

Point out that the things that are cursed are the serpent and the ground. Eve was not cursed. The part about Adam ruling over Eve is tricky for modern audiences. If your class dwells on it, know that the passage really doesn’t seem to be mistranslated. The manual for Individuals and Families has a paragraph that makes it clear modern church teaching states that a man is to be an equal partner with his wife. Heather Farrell interprets it as ruling in the manner of the Priesthood (refer back to D&C 121:41-43 again if necessary). Because of the fall, Adam and Eve experienced sorrow, but they could also now experience joy. Because of the fall, both men and women have experienced being ruled over, but we can to choose to create societies where all people are treated with equality and fairness.

 

Discuss 2 Ne 2:11-16. The idea of opposition in all things is central to the church’s teachings about the Plan of Salvation. God’s work is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). The church teaches that coming to earth and gaining a physical body is a necessary step in God’s plan. Eve’s work was to bring to pass the mortality (humans die) and temporal life (women give birth) of humankind.

Verse 16 of 2 Ne 2 is particularly powerful with the masculine pronouns changed to the feminine:

16 Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto [wo]man that [s]he should act for [her]self. Wherefore, [wo]man could not act for [her]self save it should be that [s]he was enticed by the one or the other.

With the pronouns changed, it’s easier to recognize that Eve (and women in general) can use that power to make momentous decisions. President Nelson has recognized the need for “women who have the courage and vision of our Mother Eve.”

 

God made coats of skins for Eve and Adam when they left Eden. What was God teaching them when he made those coats? (The law of sacrifice. An animal’s life had to be sacrificed in order to provide Adam and Eve with the protection, comfort, nourishment, and tools they needed to create a life in the wilderness.) Ask the class: “What do you understand about the law of sacrifice?” “What symbols do you see?” “How does it relate to the sacrament?”

 

Adam and Eve did not understand the law of sacrifice at first, but they obeyed it. Read Moses 5:7-11. Ask “Why do you think Adam and Eve were happy about the consequences of being obedient to God, when they had been disobedient?” Make sure the principle of repentance is covered.  Read the 3rd Article of Faith. The law of sacrifice teaches us about the atonement of Christ. The law of the gospel is “love God and love your neighbor”. Was partaking of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil loving God? Are there situations where we might have to be disobedient to a rule in order to follow the law of the gospel? “How do you know if keeping or breaking a rule is the right thing to do?”

 

If you have extra time, have a discussion about how Cain’s anger toward God and jealousy of his brother caused him to break those laws. “What does it mean to be your brother’s keeper?”

 

 

*I know which rule I would break. My current stake (area?) has a policy that second hour should no longer have a virtual option. This announcement came around Thanksgiving, when Covid cases were very high in my area (they still are…) and hospitals were near 100% capacity. I would break this rule and have a virtual option to attend my lesson. I would try going through ward leadership (explaining that breaking this rule was part of the lesson) to make sure that everyone in the ward would be invited to attend virtually in the same familiar way that we used to do it. If leadership objected to doing this, I’d try my best to cobble together a list of everyone who typically attends virtually and make sure to invite them on my own.

It is moral to break the no-Zoom-component-to-Sunday-School rule because, like Jesus, I would be breaking church rules to minister to the sick, quarantined, and vulnerable people by allowing them to fully participate in our community to the extent that they are able.

 

**Another rule I would want to break: the only-using-correlated-materials-in-class rule. Mary Oliver’s poem Wild Geese would be beautiful to discuss in the context of this class.

 

 

Why The Competition?

Life has not been good to me on this young single adult journey.

In the Latter-Day Saint world, as I coast closer to the big “3-0” I am reminded of my impending status of becoming one of the creepy older single adults desperate for marriage.

Its five years since stepping into the baptismal font and I’ve had more dating horror stories than most, as I set out on my journey to find “my person”.

A few days ago, I endured my latest heartbreak. Once again, I had tried and failed in my pursuit of an “honest” love. No sooner than this possible love story had begun, it became dishonest and filled with lies from someone who wasn’t quite ready to undertake a new relationship and by omission toyed viciously with an already battered heart.

The sting endures even now the barb has been removed as I once again take a break from dating. I know that my eyes won’t always be as swollen as they are as I type this and that eventually my heart will heal.

Around me, my friends all seemed to be figuring it out. In the past year, five of my girlfriends have gotten engaged or married. Another has had a baby. The others have juggled new career opportunities and budding relationships.

As these unions grow and develop, I’m faced with the realities of being the last one on the shelf. I see the reality of my singleness in an LDS space. I recognize that being happy in our circles is tied heavily to one’s marital status.

Like a game of musical chairs, everyone around has magically found a seat as I stand alone in the silence.

Once upon a time, this never made me unhappy. As of now it does…

Even If most wouldn’t dare to admit it, competition runs amok within church spaces. Time and time again, members silently compete to be seen as perfect examples of living the latter-day life, placing themselves in marathon events to prove their own worthiness.

The highest level of worthiness in most eyes within these sacred halls is to secure our time and all eternity.  It is drilled into our heads that we should get married and the pressure is applied until we do.

And for those that don’t, we are seen as the awkward pariah of loneliness and jealously for not having what most people have.

Those who know me best know jealously is not one of my personality traits. In the years since friends have slowly graduated to being a Mrs. instead of a Missus, the word has often been thrown around in my direction like a hot potato seeking to cause collateral damage.

I often am asked if my views on love are rooted in jealously even if my intentions are pure.

A few days on a Facebook post for my degree program, the conversation of the right amount of time to date before marriage was discussed. As a Marriage and Family Studies student, I’m used to reading posts about how the courses bless marriages. As the only single student in most of my classes I often reserve a small space of kindness for myself which allows me to share my own perspective of how marriage should be.

I expected civility but instead as I stated my opinions, I was told by another student that my views stemmed from my singleness and instead her opinion was right because she was married while I was not.

It didn’t matter that I was a member of the church in that moment.

It didn’t matter that I knew what I did not deserve.

It didn’t matter that I knew I deserved good love and was content to wait for it instead of forcing a convenient love to be accepted by church members.

While I wish this was an isolated event, over the past year, I’ve seen how married members are treated with much more respect while those who are single are looked upon with pity and concern. Even now that hurts worse than any insult flung my way as people reduce my membership to whether there is a ring on my finger or not.

I recognize that competition plays such a huge role in how we see ourselves and how we contribute to the dialogues in our church spaces.

Without time and all eternity, our voices are drowned out by the need to compete.

I’d be happier in this gospel without being trapped in the jaws of competition.

Still, I recognize that it is my reality…even if my body, heart and mind are already so fatigued.

Contention

When I was in high school we read Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. In it, shady Svidrigailov pursues Dounia, who has no interest in him at all. She fends off his advances and proclamations of love by shooting a gun, which grazes him. She threatens to kill him and he eggs on that challenge, but she ends up tossing the gun aside. He asks asks if she loves him and she does not. She says she can never when he asks one more time. And that’s what makes him send her away.

When we discussed this in class, the teacher suggested that it was both Dounia’s lack of love as well as her inability to kill Svidrigailov that made him resign. Both emotions, of loving and despising someone enough to kill them, take emotional energy, a level of commitment, even if one of the emotions is negative. When Dounia wasn’t emotionally invested, positively nor negatively, Svidrigailov realized it would go nowhere.

A month ago I had a conversation with someone who I haven’t spoken with in a long time. We had differences and conflicts for years. There were a couple of attempts at talking about things- one over chat and another via email exchange a couple of summers ago. But each time, the other person would leave the conversation if they felt like “contention.” This meant any amount of discomfort meant they ended the conversation and left. After the email exchange, I figured if they wanted to try making amends, they’d have to be the one to initiate since they were the one who ended it. We hadn’t interacted since.

We did end up having a chat via Zoom a month ago. Mutuals wanted us to try again at a relationship, so we gave it a chance. We spent about an hour talking over Zoom, sharing where we were hurt. It took energy and about an hour of time, but afterward, we decided to try a relationship again. I’m not sure how they felt afterwards, but personally, I felt great about the prospects of a future relationship.

The years of shutting down and leaving the conversation prior felt like this person didn’t want to spend the emotional energy on building a relationship, addressing concerns. Running away at conflict or contention told me, “I’m not invested in this relationship.” When we finally had a real discussion and they didn’t run away, I felt better about our relationship in years.

I know not everyone is like this, but I want to challenge our concept of “contention is of the devil.” We need to discuss the hard stuff in life. We have to challenge things. Putting in that energy and effort demonstrates our commitment to the relationship. This pertains to personal relationships as well as our relationship with our ward, our community, our world at large. Have the hard conversations; contention can be a sign of commitment.

Guest Post: One Mom, Two Coming-Out Stories, Part One

Guest Post by Anonymoys. Anonymous is a wife and mom who lives in an area with a high percentage of LDS people. She enjoys cooking, crafting, and gardening.

Late November, 2020: It was a Friday morning. I was having a quick breakfast before getting my kids started on their “distance education” school day (thanks, Covid), when I saw a folded piece of paper sitting on the kitchen counter. “To Mom and Dad,” it said. I opened it and read, but my brain seemed to be slow in processing what was written there in my oldest child’s handwriting. I read the short letter twice. “Nonbinary”? What’s “nonbinary”? I had a vague sense of having heard—or read—this word before, but I couldn’t remember when or where. Nonbinary? Involuntarily, I felt my eyes fill up with tears. Oh, I had cried so much that year—that tumultuous year of pandemic, religious betrayal, and political turmoil. That year when, only a few weeks earlier, I had submitted my official resignation from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the religion I had been born and raised in, and to which I had devoted the first four decades of my life. Still reeling from this slow-motion free-fall from certainty into the unknown and unknowable, still searching for a solid place to land . . . my mind wanted to say: No. I can’t deal with this right now. There is too much going on. I. Just. Can’t. Process. One. More. Thing.

But of course, denial was not an option. So, I took the letter downstairs to my husband’s home office, where he had begun his workday. He read it, then looked at me. “Okay,” he said. “Okay,” I said. I told him I wasn’t sure why I was crying, which was true. In one sense, I had anticipated this moment for years, and he knew this. However, what I had anticipated was our oldest child coming out as gay, not nonbinary. For a great many reasons (which I won’t get into right now), for the past 11 years—since my oldest child was two—I had assumed there was a good chance she would be a lesbian. I had discussed this possibility with my husband quite a few times over the years. While he took more of a “Let’s wait and see” approach—as opposed to my “I’m tell you, I really think she’s gay” mindset—we both agreed that we would love and support our child no matter what. We agreed that we wanted both of our daughters to have love and romance when they grew up, and to have the opportunity to find a life partner and to raise a family. No matter the sex of their partner, and no matter what that family might look like. As might certainly be anticipated, this issue was a major factor in my faith transition. It was not the only factor, but it was significant.

I was prepared—or at least I felt like I was prepared for “Mom, I’m gay.” I was not prepared for “Mom, I’m nonbinary. I don’t feel like a boy or a girl. I want you to use ‘they’ and ‘them’ and to call me ——–.” But that is what happened. So yes, I cried. And my husband hugged me. And we hugged our child and we said “We love you. Thank you for telling us.” And I tried to think of how I could possibly explain this to my very devout LDS extended family. And then I cried some more, and then I found a therapist who could meet with me on Zoom, and she convinced me to take a breath, and to slow down and to just take things one step at a time. And that is what I did. And I thought, in wistful melancholy mingled with relief: “I’m so glad that we agreed not to force our child to go to church if they didn’t want to. I’m glad they stopped attending at the age of 10. I’m grateful they are not in Young Women’s now. I’m glad that I left.” And I don’t think I can’t properly convey the deep sadness that I felt in the midst of the solace these thoughts provided.

But my child is happier now. The more they come out to friends and family, and the more they are accepted for who they are, the more they feel at peace. And for that I am so thankful.

Need help with your 2022 Old Testament or Young Women #LDS lesson plans? We have your back. #ComeFollowMe

Exponent bloggers and guests have started posting Old Testament and Pearl of Great Price lesson plans for 2022 Sunday School and/or Individuals and Families here: https://www.the-exponent.com/category/come-follow-me/

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Keep checking back at the Exponent for these collections to grow throughout the year!

Deborah, Judge in Israel

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Guest Post: Come Follow Me: Genesis 5; Moses 6 “Teach These Things Freely unto Your Children”

By Miriam

Miriam is a PhD candidate in Prevention Science at the University of Oregon, mother of 3 girls, and striving to teach her girls that their voices matter.

This lesson is meant to be used for individual and family scripture study in 3-7 minute segments of time – for families that don’t read scriptures any longer than that (my family sure doesn’t). Because it is designed for short bursts of scripture reading/pondering, it doesn’t go into the story that much, but rather focuses on small take-aways. If you’d like a recap of the story of Enoch, read Moses 6 or watch the little video in the Primary manual (depending on the ages of your family and your interests).

Segment: Glorify God




In Moses 6:2, it says “Adam glorified the name of God.”

What does it mean to you to glorify God’s name?


In an Ensign article written by Sister Lynn Ford (who, at the time, was a counselor in her ward primary), she contemplates what this means. She had often wondered why there seemed to be a discrepancy because “It seemed contradictory to me that Lucifer was punished for seeking honor for himself, yet God asks us to honor him[/her].” But as she continued study and prayer, she said, “I discovered a new truth—that such heartfelt devotions to the Most High are actually for our own good. He[/she] has no need for our honors, but our sincere gratitude and devotions to him[/her] help us in important ways as we strive for perfection in our own lives. I learned that we tend to emulate those whom we admire. If we take time daily to ponder God’s greatness, we are more likely to strive to be like him[/her], more likely to repent and become ‘partakers of the divine nature’ (2 Pet. 1:4).”

How do you think honoring God might be for our own benefit? In what ways do you honor our God? In what ways would you like to honor God more in your life?

Photo by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash

Photo by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash




Segment: Prayer




In Moses 6:4 it says that they began “to call upon the name of the Lord, and the Lord blessed them.”

In what ways have you been blessed as you’ve called upon God?


Everyone has times when they have more prayers where they feel closer to God than other times. For you personally, when have you had prayers where you felt closer to God? What was the difference between those times and ones where you didn’t feel that closeness? How can we feel that closeness more often?


Bonnie H. Cordon (YW General President) in a BYU address said, “recently as I uttered the familiar words to address my Heavenly Father in prayer, I was overcome with a sense of awe. I paused and thought, ‘Who am I to address God?’ But almost instantly, an innate knowledge was rekindled—He is my Father, and I am His daughter.”

God is an all-powerful and supreme being, yet God still wants to hear from each of us. How does that knowledge impact us?






Segment: Priesthood




Moses 6:7 says, “Now this same Priesthood, which was in the beginning, shall be in the end of the world also.”
Sister Sharon Eubank, 1st Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency said in a Facebook post on September 14, 2019, “In the Church, we rightly talk a lot about the priesthood, or God’s power on the earth. From conversations I’ve had with women and men over the years, there are some things we get wrong when it comes to understanding God’s power and who has access to it. All men and women who make covenants and keep them have the ability to draw priesthood power into their lives. The real question isn’t “Do you have the priesthood?” but “What are you doing with the priesthood power you have?” The essential nature of priesthood power is to bless and improve the lives of others.”

It is common for women (and men) in the church to have complicated feelings about the Priesthood. On the one hand, we may have seen it bless our lives. But on the other hand, it is an unfair hierarchical power structure within the institution. It’s ok to talk about this unfairness! It’s also okay to recognize the blessings we’ve received from the Priesthood even though we have these complicated feelings. It may be nice for your family to take time to discuss their complicated feelings with the Priesthood. It also may be nice to take some time to focus on what Sister Eubank discussed in this social media post. What are you doing with the priesthood power you have?






Segment: Coming Unto Christ




Moses 6:23 says of Enoch and his buddies, “And they were preachers of righteousness, and spake and prophesied, and called upon all men, everywhere, to repent; and faith was taught unto the children of men.”
Sister Jean B. Bingham (Relief Society General President) said in a conference address, “The more we learn about, have faith in, and emulate Jesus Christ, the more we come to understand that He is the source of all healing, peace, and eternal progress. He invites each of us to come unto Him”

Enoch was teaching others about faith and repentance so they could feel the source of all healing, peace, and eternal progress that Sister Bingham described. How have you felt that source of healing, peace, and eternal progress? How have you shared that with loved ones?






Segment: Coming Unto Christ (continued)




In Moses 6:33,God was telling Enoch what to teach. Enoch was instructed to “Say unto this people: Choose ye this day, to serve the Lord God who made you.
In the same General Conference talk as above, Sister Jean B Bingham gave a reason for following this counsel that Enoch was instructed to give. She said it like this, “Come unto Him. I testify that as you center your life on Jesus Christ, you will find joy in your circumstances, whatever they may be. Indeed, “He, only One,” is the answer. Make time and take time to come to know Jesus Christ through studying diligently, developing greater faith in Him, and striving to become ever more like Him.”

How has God helped you find joy in your circumstances? How can you choose (likely again) to serve the God who made you? How might making this decision bring joy?


In Moses 6:34, God reassures a worried Enoch by saying, “thou shalt abide in me, and I in you; therefore walk with me.”

In what ways have you seen God abiding in you and walking with you? How does this abiding together relate to the joy that Sister Bingham described?

Guest Post: Where is it Written?

Guest Post by Kajsa. Kajsa is married to Monty Kaufusi, and together they have 3 precocious children and two stinky dogs. After working part-time as faculty with BYU’s Ancient Scripture department, Kajsa is devoting herself full time to her writing, with a book forthcoming. This book narrates her uniquely religious upbringing, LDS mission, time working for BYU, and eventual confrontation with her ecclesiastical leaders and subsequent faith deconstruction. Her B.A. is in Anthropology, with an M.A. in Biblical Studies. Kajsa has presented her work with Society of Biblical Literature, guest-published short pieces with Patheos, The Exponent, podcasted with Latter-day Faith, At Last She Said It, and Rameumptom Ruminations. Her research interests are broad, ranging from Biblical interpretation, religious pluralism, feminist theology, and the interconnection between Medieval Judeo/Christian/Islamic philosophy. https://berlinkaufusi.wixsite.com/website

Early in my girlhood, I knew that I pushed the norms on what was seen as traditionally acceptable for an LDS woman to aspire to. Vague memories of emotional meltdowns fill my mind, my body stretched out on the couch dramatically, tears rolling down my cheeks as I lamented to my parents the tension I felt between my desire to “use” my college degree as a professional and the messages that living prophets had shared for the last few decades about women’s roles. “What’s the point?!” I wailed. Within the culture I was raised in, wife and mother were clearly the ideal that a woman could, and should, seek to obtain. If, after children, I decided to go into the workforce, that was of course my choice, but without question, career and self-development outside of what fell under the umbrella of “wife and mother” were certainly less than ideal.

My father used his apologetic gifts to sooth my emotions and try to get me to see how it was possible, as President Hinckley had stated, to “be the woman of whom you dream” while at the same time fulfilling my role of wife and mother, but I wasn’t buying it. I reached my teens just as LDS women’s education began to exit taboo territory, but conflicting narratives still swirled around me. In my Young Women’s classes, the phrase “all I ever want to be is a mom” was a common one, rewarded with proud looks from the leaders and approving nods. On more than one occasion, my mother would patiently listen to my venting, squeezing my hand, encouraging me to not let go of my dreams. “You can find a way, Kajsa” she would tell me, seriously. “Do what hasn’t been done!”

For those Barbara Streisand fans out there, you may be familiar with the hit 80’s movie, Yentyl. A brilliant young Jewish woman, raised by her Rabbi father after the death of her mother, yearns for religious education but is silenced by her conservative 19th century European Jewish community. In one scene, as she browses through the books peddled into the town square by a bookseller, she is re-directed by the man to the women’s section— books with “lots of pictures.” “But I don’t want to read those books, I like these ones!” she counters, pointing to the religious volumes. “These are men’s books,” he counters, “sacred books. Picture books for women, sacred books for men!” he sings to the crowd as people pass by. “Why?!” she retorts, hands on her hips. “Because!” he counters, “that is what the law says.” “Where?!” she pushes on, “where is it written?! Show me where it is written. Here, in this book! Show me where!”

Throughout my young adulthood, I found myself asking that question a lot—“show me where?!” As a missionary, I served during the time that our mission housed the traveling exhibition of the Dead Sea Scrolls. In the spring of 2008, I remember entering the lobby of the Hill Cumorah Visitors center, my eyes immediately settling on a lengthy replica of the great Isaiah Scroll, found in the caves at Qumran in 1946. That scroll became a particularly dear friend to me. During down time, I would stare at the Masoretic text of the Hebrew lettering, occasionally copying down characters, loving their beautiful shape. When Rabbis would come into the exhibit from Rochester or NYC to take their synagogue groups on tour, I quietly followed behind, soaking in the knowledge they were passing onto the crowd, coveting their ability to read ancient Hebrew. A fire lit inside me then, a desire to study religion further, maybe even professionally, as a scholar. I wanted to know so badly how to read those texts, how to discuss the various approaches to their interpretation, and to be able to confidently form my own ideas about the scriptural narrative.

I have a holy envy for the traditions of the Jewish people. Centuries older than Christianity and millennia older than the tradition of my birth, Judaism has withstood tribal aggressions, diasporic influences, genocides, expulsions and inquisitions, pogroms, Holocausts, and anti-Semitic aggressions.  Through these refining fires, Judaism has enriched, expanded, diversified, and drawn deeply from its narratives to find usable and perhaps unappreciated history from which springs forth contemporary movements, specifically women’s movements, that enrich and beautify the faith, empowering Jewish women in the process.

A few years ago, I assigned my New Testament students to attend two religious services outside of the LDS tradition during the semester, submitting a short piece on the worship service they attended, comparing and contrasting the experiences.  One Friday, I attended Shabbat services with my students at Salt-Lake’s Kol-Ami synagogue (in Hebrew, Kol-Ami means “voice of my people”). Known as a liberal synagogue, the group’s Rabbi was Rabbi Elena Schwartzman, the granddaughter an Eastern European immigrant Grandfather who was also a Rabbi, renowned for paving the way for Jewish reform in America. Seeing her lead the congregation with effortless grace and confidence, as a woman, flooded me with emotions I couldn’t quite put names to. Rather than try to understand it, I simply allowed myself to sit with it all, allowing my spirit to be blessed by her knowledge and spirit. It was evident that this group had full confidence in her to lead their congregation as the voice of their people, connecting them to the God of their ancestors.

During the service, noticing a fussy baby among the attendees, she nonchalantly descended the slight podium where she led service, came into the pews and reached for the infant, plopping him gingerly on her hip. Baby in-tow, she continued leading the service, bobbing the little boy up and down to the rhythm of the songs she sang, swaying him back and forth with her as she led the prayers in well-practiced rhythm. She held him for a good 20 minutes, eventually handing the rosy-cheeked (and now content) baby back to its father.

While the service continued, I couldn’t get over what I had just observed. In fact, there were tears in my eyes reflective of the beautiful stirring of my soul—both transcendent and disturbing.In the faith tradition of my birth, women are excluded from nearly all leadership positions and most certainly the ones with power; doctrinally, only men hold keys of authority (Priesthood keys) and thus women are never seen leading the congregation unless leading music, perhaps. Additionally, while some have proposed that the Relief Society presidency also sit on the stand during Sacrament Meeting so as to display a healthier balance of power, the general response to that suggestion seems to popularly be that “a mother needs to sit with her children and it would create too much distraction having the kids running up to the stands from time to time.” Here, in this one experience at the synagogue, both scenarios were confounded by a lived experience, and the impact of that powerful happening has stayed with me ever since, reminding me of what could be, and for some, what is.

Recently, a friend of mine who has removed her records from the Church, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My friend is ethnically Jewish, and since beginning her journey out of the LDS tradition, has returned to her Jewish roots to examine and glean from those traditions. Both she and I have formally acknowledged that giving birth to daughters fueled the fires of our feminism and the desire for our children, both boys and girls, to see women claim their place as religious leaders, if it is in their path, and certainly to own their own spiritual authority through their connection to God, which is their birthright.

Following the births of all my children, I have often wondered why a female presence within the blessing circle was not allowed. Eventually, I did write about that possibility (to view, click here), suggesting ways in which it could be accomplished (doctrinally and physically). Since the pandemic, I have seen many families choose to bless their child at home, with the mother holding the infant while the father administered the blessing. While I have been fortunate to have a husband who gives insightful and powerful words of blessing to our children, many times I’ve pondered on what words I would be inspired to utter to my newly born child, if perhaps my religion had a place for and saw value in such a thing.

And so again it was with a flood of holy envy that I recently read that my dear friend, after giving birth to her baby girl, reached deep within her ethnic roots and her own spiritual authority, and gave a blessing to her infant child. These are her specific words:

“I bought my daughter a tallit and wrapped her in it while giving her a very private mother’s blessing in the hospital, which was a sacred, and meaningful experience for me. I resigned my Mormon membership when I found out I was pregnant with a girl. I did it for her.”

In my mind, I had a clear image of this sister wrapping her precious girl in the ancient tallit, lips close to the baby’s ear as she connected to the Divine and whispered inspired words of blessing to her daughter, infusing into her the identity, strength, and inspiration of generations of women before her. She asked no one for permission to perform this beautiful ritual, because the only permission needed was her own, and the power from which the blessing sprang was God’s, and she, the conduit.

Even now, writing about this brings strong emotions to my heart and palpable vibrations to my soul—we as LDS people perpetuate a spiritual void that can only be filled by the visible contribution of our women in ways that validate and sustain their unique spiritual capacities. How long will it be before we, as a people, are moved upon by the spirit of truth and necessity to honor the God-given power of our women to bless and minister in unique ways? How long before our leaders hear the petitions of God’s daughters, uttering the words that Moses saw fit to utter in the case of Noah and her sisters who sought justice in their inheritance, “the daughters of Zelophehad speak right!” (Numbers 27:7)

In the meantime, I see more and more women` like my friend who are no longer asking for permission to do what the spirit compels them to do, and the ears of their daughters are hearing, the eyes of their sons are watching, and the faces of their husbands are smiling as their family units are enriched by these women stepping into their power. Additionally, it should be said that our religious communities lose the power and capacity of these women who distance themselves from formal worship, and yet, what option are they left with when they look into the eyes of their infant daughters, gifts from God to develop into powerful and capable women in Zion? 

To protect the delicate divinity within their daughters, they choose to enrich and empower them outside formal religion that outsources their God-given authority and places their visibility behind what is seen and acknowledged. Like Yentyl, too many LDS women have been told what is their place and what isn’t. What questions to ask and which ones not to. What answers are approved, and which aren’t. Reminded that, while personal revelation is important, if it contradicts what is coming to us through our Priesthood leaders, it’s wrong.  It is my hope that one day, as with our Jewish cousins, progressive minds and hearts will see a way to honor both tradition and lived experience, moving our theology forward to a more equitable representation of both men and women in ritual worship and congregational leadership. To those who argue that it cannot or should not be done, I find myself pushing back and again posing the question, “where is it written?”

Charity Never Faileth

Content Warning: Animal cruelty. Names and some identifying details have been changed.

I served my mission in the heart of the Bible Belt, so converts were not exactly forthcoming. We worked hard as missionaries, but our labors rarely bore the kind of fruit expected. One of my companions pointed out that even if nobody got baptized as a result of our preaching, as long as we did it out of love, we were successful missionaries because charity never faileth. I filed that away in the back of my head and forgot about it when I finished my mission.

Two hands arranged in the shape of a heart, with sunlight streaming through

There is a guest suite attached to my house, set up in such a way that I can either use it as a separate unit, or I can open a door in my kitchen and expand the house into a larger one. Typically I bolt it off and rent it out as a furnished apartment to help pay the mortgage.

A friend, Christine, was renting the apartment, and she was going to be out of town for several weeks, so she asked me if her family member, Joan, could stay there for a little bit to get back on her feet. I said that was fine. Joan brought a little dog with her. The lease said no pets, but I decided I was okay with it because I’m an animal lover, though I’m more of a cat person.

Joan kept different hours from me, so I would sometimes go days without seeing her, and since it was a separate unit anyway, she was more like a next door neighbor than a roommate, so when I didn’t see her car for four days, I thought nothing of it. Christine texted me and asked me to make a repair in the apartment, so I went in there. When I entered, I found the dog abandoned, skinny to the point I could see her ribs, terrified, with no food and water.

I immediately gave the dog water, which she lapped up gratefully. I grabbed a cup of my cats’ food which she ate like it was manna from heaven. I reached out to Joan and got nothing. I called Christine and told her what I had found, and she was furious. Apparently this is not the first time this dog has been similarly abandoned. It turns out Joan had skipped town, leaving the dog behind. Christine said she would take the dog but that she couldn’t get to town for another few weeks.

I called another friend, Sarah, who loves dogs and asked her how to take care of a dog. Since she knew I had so much else on my plate, Sarah offered to foster the dog for a few weeks until Christine got back into town. Christine and her husband Ron got into town a few weeks later, and they were reunited with the dog. (Ron had cared for the dog after the previous abandonment, so they were already best buddies.)

A week later, Christine passed away suddenly. Ron was devastated, but he was glad that at least he had the dog to keep him company. After the funeral, Joan took the dog back by force. Ron was beside himself when he told me this. I did my best to comfort him, but I was upset, too. The authorities were either unable or unwilling to do anything about it. [1]

Christine, Ron, Sarah, and I all worked very hard to rescue this dog, nurse her back to health, and give her a safe and loving forever home, and it all fell apart. Despite our best efforts, it wasn’t enough, and the dog is back in the hands of her abuser.

I was having dinner with Sarah, and I filled her in on everything that had happened. She responded that I had done everything I could. Rationally I knew that; there was nothing more that I could have done. But I also felt like I had failed, and I don’t like failing.

Scripture teaches that though tongues, knowledge, and even prophecies fail, but charity, the pure love of Christ, never fails. [2] We were not failures because what we did, we did out of love for an innocent creature. Scripture further teaches that God is mindful of the falling of even a single sparrow [3] and that He feeds the birds. [4] If God watches over birds, I have to believe He watches over dogs, too.

I’ll probably never know the ultimate outcome of this situation, but I love and pray for that dog. I hope she ends up in a loving home far away from Joan’s selfish neglect. And even though things didn’t work out this time, we didn’t fail because charity never faileth.

—
[1] At least there’s a paper trail in case something else happens.
[2] 1 Corinthians 13:8
[3] Matthew 10:29
[4] Matthew 6:26

Blessing Circle

Originally I wrote this blessing for friends going through tremendously difficult times. I offer it now, to you, a small prayer for each of us as we stride (some cautiously, some with zest) into a new year. We have been drawn together across space, reaching for each other. May we uplift and strengthen each other. In our differences and in our similarities, we are each divine, and I pray you feel powerful and blessed, nurtured and seen.

You step from Eden, that sheltered and safe home, into a new life. Like the first birth, this birth feels like death. The void yawns before you. Fear seizes you. The unfamiliar threatens to engulf you. Your steps falter.

Beautiful girl, you can do hard things. 

Beloved child, you have done hard things.

This time, like the times before, you are not sent to wander alone. Walking beside you, see! we surround you: generations past, with wisdom; generations future, with hope; generations present, with light. The power of divinity, of creation and multiplication, echoes through you. Every whispering tree, every susurration, says, “Lo, I am with you.” It is an impossible thing you’re being asked to do. And yet you will do it anyway because you were made to do impossible things. Out of ashes burns the Phoenix. Lo. We are with you. 

Sometimes, beginning feels like ending. Making starts with un-making. Can you see the potential for re-creation? Can you feel joy alongside fear, birth wrapped in the loss you face? This is a ruining, yes, one you did not want and would not choose. I would not choose it for you, either. But I trust you, I trust us, to create a new kind of beauty from the despair. This could be, some day, a good ruining, like the rush of blood in birth, the moment of agony when you cried out “my god my god why hast thou forsaken me?” 

Make space, Long Soldier wrote, in the mouth for grassesgrassesgrasses. Now. Make space now. 

The expansion will come. You will have added to you power, and depth, and wisdom. Laughter will come, knowledge will burst, hope will explode. But first, the step, this step, into the space you don’t know.

This valley, with its shadow of death, is not yours alone. Where you go, we go. Your home is our home. Your god is our god. Our circle includes you; we will shelter you, strengthen you, fight with and for you.

The unknown is filled with monsters and demons who try to destroy you. But you are not, you never were, alone, and with my hand and your hand, entwined, we’ll walk this way, all of us, together.

Wherever you are, we encircle you with love and power.

Guest Post: Come Follow Me: Genesis 1–2; Moses 2–3; Abraham 4–5 “In the Beginning God Created the Heaven and the Earth”

By Miriam

Miriam is a PhD candidate in Prevention Science at the University of Oregon, mother of 3 girls, and striving to teach her girls that their voices matter.

This lesson is meant to be used for family scripture study in 3-7 minute segments of time – for families that don’t read scriptures any longer than that (my family sure doesn’t).

Segment: The Creation is a Story of LoveRead however much of Genesis 1 or Moses 2 you’d like to just to get the idea that God created this earth and everything in it (you can probably skim this quickly or skip it entirely).Susan H. Porter (1st Counselor in the Primary General Presidency) said of God’s creations “God’s light and love permeate all [Their] creations”Do you agree with Sister Porter? Why or why not? Are there examples you can share of how you’ve seen God’s love and light permeating creation?Referring to Lehi’s vision in the Book of Mormon (quick recap if you haven’t read it: a story of people holding onto an iron rod – symbolizing the word of God – that led to a tree with delicious fruit – symbolizing God’s love), she said, “Sometimes we mistakenly think that we can feel God’s love only after we have followed the iron rod and partaken of the fruit. God’s love, however, not only is received by those who come to the tree but is the very power that motivates us to seek that tree.”God wants us to feel loved every day. How have you felt God’s love today?Segment: Continuing the Love StorySusan H. Porter continued her talk by telling us that when we feel God’s love (which is the very essence of the Creation), we will be more full of love for others. Here are a couple specific points she makes and questions to ask ourselves as we read them:Telling a story about a man who had real and hard questions about the church and stopped going, she said that he shared with her, “I felt a spiritual impression that told me I could return to church and express this love of God in what I do there.” Whether or not we go to church is a personal decision between us and God. For this man, he felt he should go for the specific reason of sharing God’s love with others at church – which love is really the crux of the gospel.Where and how have you been able to share God’s love? Where and how have you felt others share God’s love with you?She said “God’s love is not found in the circumstances of our lives but in [Their] presence in our lives. We know of [Their] love when we receive strength beyond our own and when [Their] Spirit brings peace, comfort, and direction. At times it may be difficult to feel [Their] love. We can pray to have our eyes opened to see [Their] hand in our lives and to see [Their] love in the beauty of [Their] creations.”When have you felt God’s love most strongly? How can you seek to feel God’s love more often and more strongly? The answer to this will likely be different for every person and maybe you’re not sure the answer right now– but, as Sister Porter suggests – God can help us figure it out if we pray and ask.Segment: God Created Us In His Own ImageGenesis 1:27 So God created man [and woman] in [their] own image, in the image of God created [they] [them]; male and female created [they] them. 28 And God blessed themWhy might it be important to know that we’re created in God’s image?Sister Rosemary M. Wixom (Primary General President in October 2015) said, “Heavenly Father generously shares a portion of His divinity within us. That divine nature comes as a gift from Him with a love that only a parent can feel. We come to this earth to nurture and discover the seeds of divine nature that are within us.”How does having this gift of divine nature impact us?How does knowing of our divine nature impact us?Segment: Divine Nature ContinuedSister Jean B. Bingham (Relief Society General President) said, “From the darkest parts of Earth, the naked human eye can see about 5,000 stars; from a brightly-lit city street, only about 100 stars are visible. A few years ago, astronomers in Australia used some of the world’s most powerful instruments to calculate how many stars are actually in the entire visible universe. From their measurements, they concluded that there are 70 sextillion stars—or 7 followed by 22 zeroes—and some scientists say the actual count could be much, much bigger still. Does that make you feel small? Contemplating that incredible number fills me with a humble yet exhilarating realization that, among all that vastness, our Father in Heaven knows not only where I am but who I am and what I am thinking and doing and struggling with. And He knows everything about you, too, and loves you more than you can even comprehend. God’s capacity for knowledge and love is infinite; His interest is personal and intimate and real. You are valued by Heavenly Parents because you are Their offspring—Their reason for joy. Their purpose is our progress. After all, Their work and glory is to bring about our immortality and eternal life. Each individual is not only valued but essential in God’s plan of happiness.”Have you felt this humble yet exhilarating realization that she describes? How has it impacted you?Segment: The Sabbath DayGenesis 2: 1 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. 2 And on the seventh day God ended [their] work which [they] had made; and [they] rested on the seventh day from all [their] work which [they] had made. 3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it [they] had rested from all [their] work which God created and made.What brings you closer to God and feel rested on the Sabbath?Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson (former Young Women General President) said, “Because partaking of the sacrament is a weekly event, it is easy to take it for granted and not give it the focus and attention it deserves. Sundays are busy days with many things going on and it is easy to get “caught up in the thick of thin things” and miss the main event. It takes great self-discipline to keep our minds focused on the sacred symbols of the sacrament and remember what they represent. The broken bread and small cup of water should take our minds to the physical and spiritual suffering of the Savior Jesus Christ and remind us of the great gifts of the Atonement and of the Resurrection in our lives… How can we as individuals and families make the sacred ordinance of the sacrament central to our Sabbath worship and keep it in the place it deserves to be?”How can the Sacrament help us feel rested and sanctified?