Rae Roy's Blog, page 15

Did All This Really Happen In One Week?

And we're back to Monday. I did some work then stepped out for fillings in the right side of my mouth. It had been very sensitive to drink anything. I preemptively took some Aleve, which helped reduce some of the pain. Especially for when the dentist opted to not freeze my main nerve in order to allow me to speak and such after the fillings. There were about 6 seconds of pain when she drilled, which felt like an eternity. My superintendent was concerned when he saw me in the lobby as I looked rather like I had had a stroke because half of my face was a bit droopy.  I assured him I was good. Unexpectedly, a friend reached out about the Ottawa Pixies event she was having and I spent the evening in good company debating what intelligence is after we watched a short documentary. I'm really glad she reached out because Facebook's algorithms didn't show it to me despite having that group in my Favourites. Reasons I'm increasingly finding little use in Facebook include that. I've signed up for the Eventbrite emails for the group.

I was a bit tired on Tuesday as I was a little wired and didn't get to sleep right away after Monday's outing. After we had a productive meeting at work, I started some of my weekend prep. It was more work followed by an eye exam. I tried a new location out because my previous one wasn't getting back to me. Most people don't realize my current glasses are old. I got them just before the pandemic, so not a lot of people had seen me in them. I'm looking forward to having new ones in a couple of weeks. I'll wear the old ones at softball to keep the new ones intact. I'll be going back later for contacts as I can't curl in glasses or goggles. My new glasses are bifocals. It was a better choice to go with those rather than progressives because peripheral vision doesn't exist in progressives. Sports and martial arts don't go well with no peripheral vision! I need the bifocals for reading now. The good news is that by putting drops in my eyes several times a day, I've warded off eye damage!

Wednesday was pretty low key. After work, I got a couple of things to alter my softball jersey with and I watched the new Fast & the Furious movie. I feel like I liked and hated it. Like, it's just ridiculous at this point and needs to stop, but I liked that it seemed to know that about itself.

More work on Thursday. I got the alterations done on my jersey and took my old bed frame to donation before watching the Stanley Cup game. I was glad Vegas won because Florida kept choosing to fight. Maybe if they would've channeled their frustration into playing hockey, they would've done better.

Friday was softball. We played the Peaches. The team that is captained by the brother of one of my co-captains. We lost. Our current record is two ties and two losses. I tried to stop at Walmart on my way home for some snacks to bring to the tournament day to share, but the one near me suddenly decided to close an hour earlier. The staff was in the doorway with their arms crossed looking ready for a fight. The sign now says 10:00 PM. One teen was outside complaining about it. I just went home as there was nothing else to do but hope that I could get to the grocery store in the morning before my ride picked me up or see if my ride could make a quick stop anywhere. My initial attempt failed. The traffic lights were out and the grocery store is on the same electrical grid. So I went to the gas station and finally found snacks though they don't sell Sweet Chili Doritos in large bags. It was one of those things that should've been easy that was full of obstacles.

Saturday was a roller coaster ride of emotions for tournament day. I was running on little sleep and I generally can't eat a lot in the morning before 10. Our first game was at 10:30. And it was against someone who I recently learned had lied to me and some other people repeatedly for months. Being tired, hangry, and pissed off for being used in a scheme I never would've chosen to be involved in were not a good mix for batting well. Add my glasses slipping down my face and how distracting wearing a hat can apparently be and I hit nothing. But my team wasn't hitting their best in that game either. Anyway, I had vague words with that person because I had to let them know I was not fucking happy with them. The specifics were done through text as I loathe causing scenes. I was also annoyed by their suggestion to take me out batting because their only experience seeing me play was literally then! I usually hit the ball and have since I was a child. Anyway, I don't love confrontation, but all of that was a lot and I just couldn't pretend like nothing was wrong.

Game 2 was much better. I wasn't hungry anymore and we were all more awake. We got our first win of the season. I had been a little anxious for this one as there's someone on that team that I'm fond of and I had had such a bad start to the day. I missed the chance to chat with her when I went to help an injured teammate get celebratory libations. All hope is not lost though and that's all I'm saying for now 😊

We had a bit of a longer break before the third and final game. It was against the current best team in the league and we didn't score at all. But three games in we were tired and sore, so hopefully we'll do better the next time that we play them.

My ride and I lost the team after, got lost walking on Preston, and then had some food with our co-captain's brother who's on another team. Not the ending I pictured to the day, but it was a quieter after game experience and this introvert didn't mind that.

Sunday's plans were watching Danielle Allard on Twitch before Dino Sunday, which was slotted to be a Minecraft Parking Lot Fight. I wasn't as sore as I expected I would be, so I began rearranging my bedroom as that was much needed after the changes to my laundry situation. I really needed to move my dresser and my workout bench for better flow. There is a little more to rearrange in there, but that change improved things quite a lot. I didn't end up getting to the Minecraft night as I unexpectedly caught up with family as I had to drive out not far from their place. It was so lovely to see everyone as I hadn't since before the pandemic.  They thought I had moved away! So many of them have grown up so much. And I'm amazed that the kids, who are now teens, remember coming to watch me play roller derby around 2014! What a fantastic ending to a mostly great week 💖

All the Things Again

Monday. My least favourite day of the week. This one started with my least favourite thing: the dentist. It was a cleaning plus x-rays, plus measurements kind of appointment. I'll be back there next week and in July to handle some small cavities.

After that, I did some more work while eating lunch before heading out to get my summer tires installed. I'm so glad I pay for them to store the tires these days. It makes it so much easier. I completely forgot about my hubcaps, so they aren't on this year.

Tuesday brought me an office upgrade. I ordered a chair mat that is also anti-fatigue, so I can hopefully make more use of my standing desk option. We'll see if my ankles and feet handle it OK. Due to the awful air quality, I didn't attend my usual biweekly meetup. It was Diablo IV release day anyway, so I didn't mind staying home to get all my characters started.

On Wednesday, I got a lot done at work and a lot done around the house. I also got a lot done in Minecraft. I even stripped the black in my hair out. I hadn't wanted it anyway and it was looking stale by now. My mattress slat thing came, which is awesome because I've been wanting to switch back to a normal bed frame. They're so much easier to change the bedding on! Also, there's no bars in the way of my feet. That'll hopefully be a weekend project, but may end up being something I work on during the week.

Thursday was work, prepping for being in the office on Friday, prepping for softball, streaming Rise of the Tomb Raider, and playing Minecraft. I also dyed my hair slightly darker than my natural colour and did my nails. My powered speaker came, which is my merit bonus gift to myself. After talking with musician friends, that's what they recommended I get for my synthesizers, keyboards, and keytars. The one I got also has bluetooth, so I'll be able to use it with my phone if I want. I'll be testing it out on the weekend.

Friday was a very long day. We went in to work as we were under the impression the CEO would be visiting. He didn't. Because my workplace is on Sparks Street, I use public transit rather than paying $25 a day for parking. But the LRT is undergoing maintenance right now, so it was a 1.5 hour commute one way. Three hours were lost to commuting. I left early though, so that I could be sure to eat and such before softball. Luckily, the Subway in our building had temporarily extended their hours, which made dinner a lot easier. At softball, we got our jerseys and I had a very good game. I finally made it on base. Three times. And one of those times, I scored a run. My shins aren't used to running like that and I'm not sure how to make them happier. I also got hit in the forearm with a fast ball. It hurt, then felt numb, and then hurt, but never became a bruise.

On Saturday, I made the somewhat tough choice to end my brief time in kung fu. I was dreading going largely due to the partnered animal walks and how physically demanding the art form is. I'm more of a lover than a fighter anyway. But I also really don't like having my Saturdays booked up. I like having them open for whatever comes up or to work on my other goals or to enter goblin mode. What I was wanting to do during the pandemic was Tai Chi, so I planned to check out a place that was also close to my house. I was also planning to start the switchover to a regular bed frame, but my neck was really sore. I think lifting my powered speaker might be responsible for that. Instead, I split the day between Minecraft, learning piano, and testing out my powered speaker's bluetooth settings. I also got ideas for a monthly newsletter.

My ornamental onions, a.k.a. Allium bulbs had arrived on Thursday and I thought I might plant them on Sunday. They are pretty flowers that squirrels supposedly hate the smell of. My hope was that I could finally have a nice balcony space. I did my bed frame change over, which took much of the day as I took lots of breaks. The new-to-me frame is so much sturdier. I'm confident it can hold me and a partner should that be in my future. I wasn't confident the canopy one could. It's a double too, but it seems like it's meant for a young girl perhaps. And the new one was free as I found it in my storage unit. I just wiped it down with some lysol as it smelled a bit like kitty. After all of that, I was ready to sleep, but it was only 4:15 in the afternoon, so I played some Diablo IV before Dino Club. My bed felt like new. It was so comfortable!

Another Full Week

I'm feeling less anxious than I have in a long time. I've met my softball team and they're really welcoming. The Hayley Kiyoko concert had me in a room full of kindred spirits, which has made me feel less alone in the world. I even ran into a colleague there, though we got separated, so we caught up at work instead. We're on the pride committee together. She plays roller derby in the league I was part of. Well, since the two leagues amalgamated, it's technically a new league entirely. 

Roller derby is another thing I did that should've been a clue that I was gay. I kept finding myself in queer spaces like that and didn't know why. Not that everyone in derby is part of the rainbow community, but a high percentage are. Seeing a woman comfort her girlfriend stuck in my mind for many years. Love is love.

On Monday, I visited Montreal's Botanical Gardens before heading back to Ottawa. It was so beautiful and restorative for me. I truly need to get out into nature more than I have been because it always brings me inner peace. I've been on edge for too long. 

Tuesday was an in-office day, but I awoke with ideas for book two. No, I'm not finished editing book one, but I needed to write down the thoughts as they flowed. Surprisingly, I was not late for work. My clothing order was awaiting me at home and soon after, my copy of Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko arrived. I hadn't expected it to come on release day! I'm still reading Helen of Troy, but perhaps Hayley's book will be the next one I read.

Beyond work, I didn't know what Wednesday was going to be about though I thought some groceries and such might be a good idea. I never ended up going out for any. Instead, I finally got around to removing the large carpet from my office. It only fit if my desk was on top of it and having my desk on top of it had the carpet bunching up from moving my chair. This was trapping crumbs and attracting bugs, which I'm not a fan of! I wanted to fix it sooner, but I just couldn't.

I expected to be broken on Thursday after my learning assessment given how the ADHD assessment had affected me. I cancelled Twitch streaming this week just to let myself be however I was going to be after it. I wasn't broken, but I was tired, so I watched movies and cross-stitched. Which movies? Well, I finished Rock of Ages, then I watched Crimson Peak, and I capped off the evening with I Wanna Dance with Somebody. The last one seemed a fitting start to Pride Month.

Friday was a productive day at work though I felt a bit slammed from being off for two days. Softball was fun and I feel like I did a bit better than last week. I can't use the proper socks as they are too big for my feet, which had me sliding around in my cleats. That wasn't effective for running well. I'm using socks from roller derby instead.

I'm really glad I decided to join the league. It gives me something to look forward to every week. It's a queer league too, so I'm broadening my queer friend base. I caught up with a lot of the people from curling there, which was excellent.

I looked forward to Saturday's kung fu session despite still being trash at many of the animal walks because I see slight progress after each time I've been. Last week, not only was I a bit less bad at Crocodile Walk, but I noticed I am slightly more flexible. I used to be able to raise my feet up to my face level. I'm not there yet, but I'm well on the way and my hip flexor muscles are feeling better.

But I didn't make it. I have a pain in my left side and I can't figure out what it is. I've had it since Thursday. Stretching hurts. I'm hoping it's just a pulled muscle that will be better in a couple of days. I noticed heat is helpful. It seems like it might be an oblique. It must have happened when I fixed my desk carpet situation.

Sunday was Lez Go bingo and brunch. Lez Go is a lesbian event company in Ottawa. Since lesbians typically nest and don't frequent bars in the same way that gay men tend to, pop-up events work well. They do a variety of events. I've been to pool, bowling, and dances. I think they may also have had a picnic, though I'm not sure on that.

Other than that, I did parts of a lot of things throughout Sunday and never finished anything. I'm trying to figure out if that means it was productive or not. Does productivity assume completion?

After doing work on my calendars, I have set up a Google calendar for writing related things and my Twitch streaming. It will be the calendar to follow for news on where I can be found in the world. It doesn't replace my private calendar, but I think it could be a good thing. I'll share it someday soon. It came about while I was trying to rid myself of an import mistake. I accidentally imported a .ics file to my main calendar and had to fix that. So I also fixed some birthday entries and moved one friend group into their own calendar.

I finished Sunday with Empire Records. And Minecraft.

A Big Week

I had much of this week off because I had some big things planned. Things that were a bit stressful.

Monday was Victoria Day, which is a holiday where I am, so it was a time for me to do some admin things like update the tags on the pages on this blog/website. A bunch of things didn't make sense, so I didn't make use of them. The system may automatically configure some things later, I think? This stuff really isn't my forté, but I'm not hiring some rando from the internet, so I ignore all of the emails of that ilk that I get. Unless I get a referral from a friend or I've met you in person, it's not going to happen.

Anyway, Monday also brought some stress as I had an important appointment on the horizon for mid-week. Softball practice was a welcome distraction from the anxiety. I felt better after that. I got my team last minute because of some admin stuff and someone being unable to play suddenly. I guess I almost didn't get a team. But everyone who wants to play and registers on time gets to in this league. I kind of wish I didn't know a mistake was made at all, but I'm not going to let a messy start affect my whole summer.

A wholesome thing happened at softball. A man who had never played baseball was walking by and asked if he could try to hit. He hit both balls pitched to them as if he was playing tennis, but it was sweet. I was in the outfield, so it was hard to hear the full conversation, but I think he was a tourist or newer to Canada based on his accent. It was nice to be there for that.

After I got home, I dug around in old photos that I had brought from my hometown to find a bunch of old report cards for my therapist. It was a bit of a nostalgic day reading through them all. My grades were mostly all above 70 and I was usually on the honour roll.

Tuesday, I took off just to have a longer long weekend. I applied to get removed from my former family doctor's list as he left the country and it looks like the clinic never unrostered me. They were supposed to. So I can't register for Health Care Connect to get a new doctor until that is all completed. When I tried to register is when I discovered I was still listed as having a doctor. It'll be at least 3 weeks before I can register with one if I can find one that is accepting patients.

I also got my license plate renewed until 2025, so I would be more at ease traveling to Montreal for Lesbian Jesus a.k.a. Hayley Kiyoko. She played Velma in the live action Scooby Doo movie in case you still don't know who that is. I'm eagerly awaiting my copy of her debut novel, Girls Like Girls. Yeah, she's a triple threat on the creative scene.

Later on Tuesday, after hanging out with friends, I ordered a dress for an upcoming wedding, a couple of cute shirts, and a new bathing suit. I haven't swam in all the time I've been in Ottawa, but I'd like to. I used to swim all the time. We had a pool for much of my life. I'd also like to search for seaglass.

I needed Wednesday morning for my ADHD assessment. I was going into that fearful that I would fail it and be no better off after everything I've done to get to this point and afford the testing. I took the afternoon off because I wasn't sure how I would be after the assessment. Relieved? Tired? See below for what it entailed.

Wednesday also brought a new pillow and for the first time in a while, I awoke on Thursday without a sore neck.

Thursday had me back at work feeling refreshed, so I got some things done. I also found a piano learning program like Fender Play called Playground Sessions. So far I'm awesome at middle C.

For the longest time, I couldn't decide between ukulele and keyboards. I prefer keyboards, but they're hard to bring to a bar for a fun jam night. Maybe with lots of batteries I can make it happen...

Streaming went? Well... I don't think it did. Everything was up. Then OBS crashed. Then I had to fix it because it wasn't showing my game. I was able to fix that more quickly than in the past, so that's something. I did my stream, then as I was about to end it I saw that I had never started streaming again when I reloaded. I laughed about that. There was no point in being angry about it.

Friday was another work day, but also my first softball game. I'm really glad I'm on Smack That. I never made it to first base, but my teammates advanced or got home when I batted, so I think it's OK. We tied then met up with the rest of the league at the bar. It was a great start to the weekend.

Saturday, I hoped I would be feeling good for kung fu though I was worried how sore I would be for the rest of my weekend plans. As it turns out, once I had allergy meds in me, I was good. Class went better. I didn't feel nauseous or like passing out, so that is an improvement. 

Next was a BBQ in Vincent Massey Park with friends. I like the concept of publicly available BBQs in parks. I walked more than needed because I have a knack for going in the wrong direction. Tourists gave me directions back to where I parked. There was a closer parking area and I have no idea where the entrance to it is. 

Sunday morning brought some tidying up in my condo before traveling to Montreal for Hayley Kiyoko's Panarama Tour. It was fantastic. The opening band was Ill Peach. I quite liked them.

Next up was Allison Pontier. She was good too. I really liked her shiny shirt. The crowd wemt wild when she said she was a lesbian.

And Hayley was so phenomenal. I learned that she also drums. Is there anything Lesbian Jesus can't do? And her dancers can twerk expertly well. Sometimes they were a bit distracting 🤣

Hayley's first outfit had a skull and bones on the crotch. Hilarious 😂

I had such a wonderful time. I still hate driving in Montreal, but it was a great way to end this week. Hayley got a bit emotional as she didn't think she could become a pop icon being gay and a woman of colour. I'm so glad she kept at it!

The Assessment

The day started with some breakfast. Somehow despite using no paper, knives, or anything, I had cut my finger. This was actually a good thing because it had me return to my unit for a bandaid and I was able to remember to bring my childhood report cards and transcripts.

Some parts started off fun, then got too hard for me. Some parts felt so easy I asked if this was for adults. After the testing, my brain hurt and felt like it wanted to curl up into a fetal position inside my skull. It was a very good thing I didn't have to work after this. Food and a nap were in order as I didn't sleep well the night before anyway. I'm not sure I slept actually, but laying down for a couple of hours made me feel better. Not better enough to drive anywhere, but better enough to play some Minecraft.

More specifically, this is what went down:

I matched pictures with blocks that were red-and-white. Early on, this was easy. I think the scale of the images changed by the end, which messed me up. It starts with 4 and eventually uses all 9. 

There was some basic math inside the head.

The memory tasks included doing things like repeating numbers or letters. As more combinations happened, I couldn't remember. I was better with the letters than I was with the numbers.

There was an exercise where I was to decipher what words were based on sounds that make them up. Sounds, not sylables. For example, the letter D has two sounds: de and ee. Smaller words weren't a problem for me, but I quickly couldn't figure out what the words were. I suspect this relates to my difficulties learning French.

One exercise was about defining words and I liked that one. I learned a new word during this part of the assessment: Palliate. It means to reduce the severity of the symptoms of an illness. I never really knew what palliative care was. I just knew it was about end of life. Yes, word definitions were on there and that wasn't so bad for me. That part made me feel smart.

There was an exercise about remembering what was seen in pictures then marking what changed. I got some and not others.

Another exercise had stories and I had to remember the story as much as possible. I thought I did OK at this, but later on there were questions that made me think that maybe I missed a lot.

It tested memory a lot in various ways. Some of that I was OK with. Some of it I was quite bad at.  At least, I think so? By the end, I wasn't confident about what I got right or wrong. I knew there would be memory testing, but I didn't know how it would feel. Mentally and emotionally exhausting is how it felt for me. I felt like crying and like sleeping because my brain felt broken. I also felt like I could really use a hug.

The assessment continued on Thursday with self-reporting questionnaires and a questionnaire a family member will complete.

The educational portion of my assessment is next week. I suspect it will be similar with different content.

A Better Week

The Week

Monday was a very productive day at work. I was able to hand some things off to our new team member. I've been covering multiple roles for awhile now and burn out was looming menacingly. The day may have been extra productive because I forgot my phone at home by the door...

Sometimes I don't know how I blogged at all during this heavy period at work. But it was often the only writing I could manage. I think it helped to get me through it. Curling did as well though I didn't have a lot of social energy during it. Not that I'm a social butterfly anyway. My Enneagram type is 4w5, The Bohemian. I went to events all that time though I wasn't at my best and often just drank through it. Not a healthy way to navigate my social anxiety, for sure.

My performance review happened on Tuesday and that went very well. I dropped by Sephora finally to get some better quality makeup in the right colour for my face. Apparently, it's half a shade, so I'm almost a vampire. The woman who helped me find my colour told me I have lovely skin. Was that a sales ploy? Regardless, I felt good about it.

I kept hitting snooze on Wednesday. I guess I needed more sleep because of the burn out. In the evening, I went to a queer ladies game night and had a decent time despite still not knowing anyone all that well in the queer community. I often wish I was a bit more outgoing and able to easily open up around new people or be the fun person I can be when I'm comfortable around someone. It takes me a while to get there and for people to really see me. I won at Santorini. I rarely win games.

Thursday and Friday flew by. I didn't get as much as I wanted to done before vacation, but part of that was the system crashing. The rest was needing a break from everything. I'm really looking forward to having one job to focus on. 

In the evening, I tried out my new little apartment-sized laundry unit out. It takes a bit of work to fill and empty, but it is cleaning my clothing well, I can do it as needed, and I'm in control of what goes into the machine. No more will I be finding poop in a machine. Some people are truly disgusting.

I've since propped it up on yoga blocks for better drainage and some soundproofing, but here is a picture of the little machine. It has a spin dryer that dries to damp, then I just hang up the load. Each load is about half what I used to get through in the machines downstairs, so I'm saving about $2.50 per load. I'm also saving about 30 minutes per load.

On Saturday, I didn't feel well enough mentally, emotionally, or physically to make it to kung fu and I feel bad about it, but I really needed to stay home and practice self-care. I was sore for several days after Class 2 and I don't think that is normal. Like, more than the usual two days after. I'm not sure what to do about it, because I'm enjoying the art and the teacher. Maybe I'll just need to take a class off here and there until I'm further along in the art?

I did a lot of things I love that I hadn't been doing in recent months. I worked on my laundry, watched Les Misérables for the first time, followed by Pitch Perfect and Pitch Perfect 2. I liked Les Mis, but also found it wholely depressing. There are a number of essays positing that the French Revolution was successful and others who say it wasn't. I suppose any effort like that will achieve some of its goals and not all of them though. It helped change society in a meaningful way even if it wasn't exactly what they were targetting. So many died for that to happen. In the musical, it paints a picture of nothing changing and that is what I didn't like about it. As to the other two films, I enjoyed them, though I could have done without the puke scenes. I loved how there were dramatic moments that flowed into comedic ones. Dramedies are a favourite genre for me.

While watching those, I worked on my fairy silouhette cross-stitch. I've stopped following their instructions of working in specific squares in favour of my old method of doing all one colour. It's hard enough to work with black thread on navy blue Aida that I don't need to increase the complexity with extra counting. I wish I had kept the cute puppy cross-stitch I did many years ago. 

It now has a line of black going to the rightmost edge. I figure I will work darkest to lightest. The black visibily sticks out and will provide a good foundation for the rest of the piece that I hope to hang up someday. I'm happy to have gotten back to it. I wanted to sooner, but felt too overwhelmed to figure out how to start it again. I even thought about starting it completely over, but didn't want to lose what I already did. Plus, I worried there might not be enough extra thread for that.

I also watched quite a bit of Carolina vs Florida. I've been hoping for Carolina to win, but they haven't been playing well. In Game 1 of this series, I saw them falling down quite often and wondered if they had new skates. They were on their home ice, so I doubt it was the surface they were skating on.

Sunday was a mixed bag between more laundry catch up, movies, cross-stitch, and the hockey game. I had hoped that Dallas would win that one. It was also Dino Sunday, so I watched Abominable with my Dinosaur club friends. It was a sweet story.

Current Read

I'm thoroughly enjoying Helen of Troy by Margaret George. I'm 8% into it. It will likely take the whole summer to read and that is an absolutely lovely way to spend some of my downtime.

Current Watch

Happily, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel has returned, so I have something fun to watch again. If you haven't seen it, it's loosely based on the history of early female comics. Sometimes they have musical episodes. It's witty and fun. The only thing is that I've already caught up and am awaiting the next episode.

So I started watching Dead Ringers. It's Cronenberg, so that is an extreme vibe shift. I feel like this one is both amazing and frightening. I actually haven't seen a lot of Cronenberg. I feel like a fraud as a horror fan. Should I though? One thing I've learned listening to podcasts like Zombie Grrlz is that there is a lot of horror out there and I watch pretty much all the genres except westerns. OK, I'm picky on Rom-Coms to a degree, but part of that is how many are heterosexual or pretty much the same formulaic thing of two people meeting, one hurting the other, the hurt one starting to move on with someone else, then the one that hurts them realized they were a dumbass and so they profess their love at an airport or altar. They're a totally unhealthy depiction of relationships and often aren't even funny. Some are good though.

Kung Fu - Class 2

Image by duradie1999 from Pixabay

The second class was just as difficult though I felt like I had the tiniest bit more muscle strength than the week before. Crab walk was slightly less bad. Crocodile walk is still evil. I'm going to study this video on how to do it because it doesn't make sense in my brain. And because I'm only moving forward about 6 inches at a time, which is completely ridiculous. 

We started forms. I'm also a bit confused on those, but I know that will come in time. Part of that is the mirroring thing where I will try to do what I see Sifu do, but will get my left and right mixed up when trying to do it myself and get all turned around.

We also started swords and I thoroughly enjoyed this. It was much more intense than iaido. It involved us drawing, blocking, and cutting on both sides of the body. This felt weird since iaido was always the same, which was draw with the right, the left does the lever action, and the right is like your rudder and both work together to stop the blade wherever you want by using a towel-wringing sort of action.

I'm rather glad that I didn't have to do kicks. I have an angry toe. I injured it by basically kicking the ground when I fell when I was learning trick scooter. It's a bit ingrown and so it keeps trying to get infected. I should go see a doctor at this point I think, but it's so hard to find the time. Wow, that whole scooter thing was a hyperfixation. But I would love to be with someone who skates in some capacity. I've always loved it even when I couldn't do it.

After kung fu, I stopped by St. Laurent Mall and got some new earrings. I wanted some cuter ones and I lucked out because there was a sale at Claire's. They have so many more options in the sensitive lines now and it fills me with joy. 

What didn't fill me with joy was feeling like passing out after leaving the store. I think my prescription allergy medicine is the culprit. I have Allegra at home and I switched to see if it makes a difference. Feeling like fainting is one of the not so good side effects of Blexeten apparently. It also causes drowsiness and I really don't have time for that. The last two days have been better with Allegra instead. Looks like I need to call the allergist. I needed to anyway, but this is an extra reason.

Thus far this week, I have learned that I have armpit muscles. Seriously, it hurts to lift my arms. A good kind of hurt that will make me stronger, but I could barely put on a t-shirt yesterday. Also my right shoulder muscle is vocal today.

Another thing I noticed is that my pants are already a touch looser.

A Tough Week

This week began quite terribly. I started it hungover and quite broken from kung fu. For the record, I don't recommend having the two types of pain at the same time. 
I'm drastically reducing how often I drink alcohol going forward. More on the reasons for that in a future blog post. And no its not due to having a bad hangover or regrets. It's not a passing fancy. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. I'm joining the Sober Curious movement.
Anyway, the week next brought dizziness. My seasonal allergies came in with fluid in my ears instead of a helpful warning like a sneezing fit. So I spent much of Monday feeling dizzy while also being still sore from kung fu. This isn't unusual. It either often happens like this or with an ear infection. I marked May 1 on my Google Calendar as a likely good day to start taking my allergy meds for next year in the hopes I can avoid both crappy options altogether.
Thankfully, the allergy meds made the dizziness go away and I was able to train my new colleague on Tuesday, but I was running on very little sleep due to having to rest for much of Monday and consequently being unable to go to sleep at a good time. I would've just rearranged my hours, but I had to be in office to train.
Wednesday seemed like it was beginning well until I caught the fleshy pad of my ring finger in the thing I was assembling, which caused a blood blister. I suppose I was thankful the skin was broken, so I didn't have to go back and relieve the pressure. Since I hadn't eaten yet, I felt nauseous and my temperature spiked up violently. I was at least able to treat my wound. Afterward, I took time to calm myself before setting up for the workday and eventually getting to the whole food thing.
I'm hoping the rest of the week is much more pleasant. I was going to play some ukulele, but it looks like that will be a dream for awhile since the injury is on my fretting hand. I suppose drawing may be the best plan until it has healed. Dammit! I even use that finger for Minecraft.
I was putting together a tree thing for hanging up the worn but not dirty clothes, so they aren't strewn on my reading chair or ab bench. A step forward on my decluttering efforts and for other goals to the detriment of my music ones. Life can sometimes be a pain in the ass.
Sadly, I had had a great dream about playing my ukulele and I was all energized to get to it. I shook my fist at the universe, but the reality is that I was likely not awake enough to be assembling anything, so it was me who was the asshole here.
Thankfully, I was able to re-install my air conditioner on Thursday without issues or injuries. The window piece for the exhaust had fallen out of the window during the cold snap after the heat wave we had and I had so much else going on that I wasn't able to deal with it. 
I decided I would take my allergy meds later in the day going forward, so I would hopefully have my drowsiest moments at night when I'm sleeping. I don't want to be drowsy at kung fu. That would be bad. But being dizzy from fluid in the ears would also be bad.
Speaking of kung fu, I was able to get out and get my new bokken on Wednesday for training on Saturday. I got the last one and it's a red wood of some sort. It's quite nice and I prefer the colour to the shorter white oak one I have. I needed a longer one for this martial art as it won't be sheathed. I'm really excited to be practicing with the sword this week!
Further on Thursday though, I had my recycling fall off my cart and some of the glass smash on the floor. I had to put it all back in my bin to walk about 15 feet to empty it in the room it goes in. Then I returned later to sweep up the small bits in the lobby to protect toe beans on the fluffy butts in the building.
The rest of Thursday went OK. I got a new table put together for sewing. The one I had was way too high to comfortably craft at. It's a nice little desk from IKEA. It goes with my decor much better in my living room. I had picked it up last week, but couldn't get time to put it together before now. Rise of the Tomb Raider was playable on my system, so I could stream it. Though, I'm unsure I saved my progress correctly at the end, so I might be in trouble when I load it again.
I started watching ER and I wonder if they ever save anyone. I mean, I knew Grey's Anatomy isn't the most realistic, but hardly anyone I've seen in season one lives. It's quite depressing actually and I don't like George Clooney's womanizing character lol. I'm only five episodes in, but I don't really care about any of the characters I've met, so I think I'll be finding something else to binge.
Friday seemed decent. I got a fair amount done at work and at home. I would've gotten more done if someone hadn't put poop in one of the washing machines. These are communal machines. Wash your shit in your own sink or throw those underwear out. Don't put them in machines other people need!
And someone else took up 5/6 dryers. Do you think they returned to empty them? No. The other one was in use by someone else.
Anyway, I'm now mulling over the possibilities of outsourcing my laundry or getting some kind of small machine for my unit. One option costs more, but they dry and fold everything and pickup and delivery are included in the cost.
But at least the Leafs are out of the Stanley Cup running. I'm a fan of cheering for "Anyone But Leafs." 
Sorry for all the ranting, but damn this week was a lot and after reviewing what I've wrote, I think it's ridiculous that all this happened over five days.

Kung Fu - Class 1

Image by Rafael Javier from Pixabay

My first class taught me some new things and reminded me of old things I know. I've had a number of martial arts instructors over the years and I really like Sonia's style. Even despite the fact that crocodile walking and crab walking were like torture for me. And I can't fathom how I ever played crab soccer in my childhood.

There were a lot of techniques that I knew the fundamentals of from karate, but they have a twist on them in kung fu that makes me think of aikido. For example, karate blocks were quite firm, hard, and wasteful in terms of energy usage. With kung fu, we only use as much force as is absolutely necessary and we hook our hand instead of leaving it as a fist. This will let us grab if necessary, but we might not always want to, strategically. Grabbing means the opponent can pull you depending on the circumstances. But the basic positions were the same. 

There was enough that was similar to karate in terms of the stances. Horse stance especially, which I was glad for because the moment we got to that, I felt nauseus and had to stop for a little bit. Cat stance was a bit like back stance, but prettier. Snake stance was new. I think there may have been another, but it didn't seem to get into my fleshy memory storage.

It's going to take me a bit to get rid of the chambering habit learned in karate. I don't think it's completely without use as you can get more striking force from it, but it also takes time to move the fist from the hip to the target. Time one might not have in reality.

The aforementioned nausea was probably due to having too much water at one point. It's a hard thing for me. With Sjogren's, if I don't have little sips throughout, I can get dry to the point of developing a cough and then struggle to breathe. But I also had moments where the temperature regulation in my body was sucking. I'm hoping that particular issue will reduce as I lose weight, but it might not. My temperature will spike suddenly and I'll either feel nauseus or like I will pass out. Basically, I'll feel like a car that has all its warning lights on suddenly. I take a breather during those moments and watch until they subside. 

It's nice to be getting back to kicking things. My right hip flexor muscle isn't happy about it, but I hope that this will help undue the damage that an office job wreaks on the body. And I also hope to lose the remaining extra weight I gained during the pandemic. Damn cupcakes!

Speaking of food, I was glad Sonia went over calorie needs for the body. I learned the hard way that I wasn't eating enough to cover my basic metabolic needs when I was trying to do the idiotic 1200-1500 calorie thing. My body felt so weak when I tried that! I started losing weight when I started eating more. 

After class was over, I saw one of the super inspired younger women in the hallway as I left. She was practicing her step throughs. She said that she hoped she will get better and I told her she will, because I know it will happen as long as she continues to put effort in. The muscles will come and we'll all be faster, better, and stronger by the end of June. Now I have Daft Punk stuck in my head.

Getting Fixed

Fixing things around my house and health wise became a theme for me in April. 

DIY & CRAFTS

I finally got around to installing the quarter round trim at the floor level in my kitchen. It looks much better!

I shortened several pairs of pants. Yeah, I know it's shocking that someone under 5 foot tall would need to shorten their pants. I did a nice hem on my newest pair of jeans. For my overalls, I just shortened them and am going to let them fray since they have frayed holes on them anyway. 
CAR

My car was unhappy. The engine light was on and the automatic shifter felt like it was going to seize. The stabilizers and rear brake lights were replaced and now it shifts like butter. I'm so happy it wasn't the transmission! On that day, I learned working from a cafe is entirely overrated. But I did get to see my young buddy on his 10th birthday, and that was nice.

HEALTH & FITNESS

I needed 3 fillings in my teeth and a new nightguard. The dentist took a scan of my mouth after the fillings and I'll be retrieving the nightguard tomorrow.

I lost 10 lbs during curling despite the drinking that goes with it, so that's a good start on that goal. I'm hoping between kung fu and softball, the rest will be taken care of soon enough.
I did my skills testing for softball. I hit and caught most of the balls. I threw OK. I sucked at running, but I'm under 5 foot tall, so I feel like that's to be expected.
I registered for kung fu. I'm very excited to be getting back to martial arts! I expect that there will be some tough weeks while doing it and softball, but I'm up for the challenge.

FINANCES

After I used PayByPhone, apparently the parking officer didn't check that, so I was issued a parking ticket for failing to pay. I have submitted a request for review including the email receipt showing I paid for parking in that location at that time on that day. It eventually was cancelled. Damn right it was!

My taxes were submitted just before the public workers went on strike. At least they were done on time, so that was one less thing bouncing around in my head demanding attention.

Some mortgage magic was done in April as well. The only debt I have now is my mortgage and I am finally able to get some other things done. This includes getting properly assessed for ADHD, which is important because I suspect I have some learning issues tied to math and auditory processing.
Remember when PayPal banned me? Well, they decided I could have access to my funds and I promptly sent them to my bank account. I guess that's as fixed as it will likely be.
DECLUTTER

Having already decided it would be more organized to separate my permanent book collection and my to-be-read books, I set to doing as such though I briefly struggled with where to put some of the to-be-reads that will be permanent. Ultimately, I decided I would put them in the permanent, but have them sticking out some. I have a few textbook style books that don't currently have a home after this adventure, but I'm sure I'll figure out where they can live soon enough.

Since I had sound foam lying around, I decided to get that up on the wall in the living room that is near where my electronic keyboard lives.
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I didn't get through my entire to-do list for April, but I got a lot done. I'll be continuing this trend in May as I still have some pants and curtains to shorten and hem. I may get back to the declutter, but not in a pull-everything-out way. Going forward, I want to have small chunks that I'm working on rather than having my condo be a giant mess. I feel like that will be a better way to live while getting rid of the remaining clutter.

The Blue Hair Dye Saga + Streamfest + Curling

Sometimes usually simple things are hard for me. Like this blue hair saga I've been going through for months. I wanted navy blue hair. It looks sleek, professional, and fun. There was a salon that could do it, but it was going to be $281. That's a bit much to spend on my hair. That's more than having someone change and store my tires, so I don't have to.

Anyway, that place also usually sells the Joico DIY option, but were out of stock, so I ordered some online and had my usual salon put it in. Well, my first appointment was cancelled because of the 2023 Ice Storm that knocked power out all over Ottawa.

So after doing some errands, I wanted to wait a moment to grab groceries since the parking lot was full. I dipped into the salon with the product. The stylist was available and set to dying my hair blue. I was so excited! 

We waited. Nothing. It didn't take at all. She had even worked with this product before and my hair is light coloured. I've also never had issues dying my hair. We were all surprised that it didn't take at all. Not even on my greys. But it was thicker than she remembered it being and so we wondered if the product itself was on sale because it was expired. I couldn't see a date on the package. Perhaps needless to say, but I gave the store a one-star review and detailed how it didn't work at all.

Having one's hair dyed isn't usually a difficult thing in life. It's a sit-in-a-chair-for-awhile-and-wait-patiently thing. It's akin to waiting for the washing machine or dishwasher clean your things for you. It's not something that should take months to schedule and have happen.

I guess I'm not allowed to have navy blue hair according to the universe. 

So we made a new plan for blue black hair with royal blue highlights because it was the next best option. I WAS trying to get away from black in my hair, but at least it is product they use all the time and not the box dye that I used to use myself that isn't good for the hair.

When Wednesday came around, I wasn't sure if it would even work and I didn't want to get my hopes up. But it did and it's wonderful! Though it's hard to take a good picture of because the blue needs light to really pop. 

For the record, a friend who is a stylist and has dyed her hair blue many times, recommends the Ion blue rather than the Joico one. Also lightening unless you are already a light blonde.

And I was supposed to post this before Saturday, so I could encourage people to stop by my Twitch channel since I was participating in Dinosaur Streamfest 15. Clearly I'm excellent at this marketing thing. I had technical difficulties anyway and there was no sound for the first 45 minutes I was streaming before the Streamfest mods were there and told me. Luckily, that was fixed before my time slot. The dinos came, chaos ensued, my follower goal was crushed, and I had my first ever hype train! 

What a day that Streamfest was! I tried not to cry all day. The streamers were all so lovely and there were so many wonderful covers of Dani's songs at a time when she is fighting Covid and can't sing to us. I was feeling very emotional, but tears hurt my eyes sometimes. With Sjogren's my tear production can be low or poor quality, so crying isn't the release it used to be.

It's an emotional time for me too because today is the last day of curling. I'll see some people in softball eventually, but I won't know who is on my team for awhile and I don't know if anyone I already know will be. 

An extra reason to want to cry may be that my car is unhappy. The shifting is really tight, so I might be in store for an expensive repair. I'm hoping it's something really quick and inexpensive to fix, but it's rare that that is the case with cars. Especially ones that are older. So I'm having to rely on No See Transpo, which can't manage a Friday schedule, so I'm leaving really early today since Sunday is already a reduced schedule. I'm taking Lyfts too, but usually I try the bus first since it's about $10 cheaper.  All this being said, I have no idea how this week will go or if I will be able to make it to the Doe & Doe Party slated for Saturday as it's on the outskirts of Ottawa.