Rae Roy's Blog, page 13

2023 - Week 44

Exhausted from the weeks prior, Monday was a bit slow moving for me. The first snow had occurred and neither I nor the squirrel who habitually visits my deck were having it. Squirrel pictured here for posterity:

By noon, the snow had mostly melted away and the grey, nearly November sky held clouds that would likely bring more of the fluffy, white, precipitation. Some friends were delighted to be heading into the colder months, while others dreaded the emotional and mental impacts of the winter season. I was personally looking forward to more time at home for crafting, gaming, reading, streaming, and writing. I was also looking forward to the hearty, comfort foods of the season like soups, stews, and chilis.

As tired as I was, I also wanted to get things done around Tiny Condo. Those things included installing a curtain wall and slightly moving my desk. I was quickly able to come up with a mount for my crafting camera using a cross-stitch frame that I didn't love using for cross-stitching along with some wire. It will likely need something more to fix it more firmly and prevent jiggling, but I liked how quickly it came together.

On Hallowe'en, I curled in a Cubone onesie I had fashioned a few years ago from a blond teddy bear onesie. I tied for second place with someone dressed up as a Montreal Canadien. One woman had an interesting expression when I explained Cubone's backstory to her and my own connection with that kind of loss. I learned something to help tweak my aiming and I hope I soon learn to be better on being on the broom instead of inside it. I suppose inside may be better than outside though. We all stuck around and stayed past midnight, which may not have been the smartest idea, but great conversations were had that made us lose track of the time.

Wednesday was the start of National Novel Writing Month. Since it was Wednesday when I got home, I logged in and created my project. It's a horror anthology and later in the day I had written 1,007 words. This is 660 less than I should have had, but it was a hectic day at work and I've been editing my novel so long that I'm a bit out of drafting practice.

On Thursday, I got my Covid and flu shots updated. I got some more words written, but didn't meet word count. I've been telling too much and not showing enough. This isn't unusual for a first draft of mine. I tend to expand on thoughts and fix those things when I edit. Part of me wanted to edit it right away, but I think it would cost me too much of the target, so I decided that finishing the short story I was working on and move on to another in the anthology.

I awoke several times during the night due to arm pain. A side effect I am prone to with the Covid vaccine, but I noticed I could use the arm far better than I could before I did curling last season and softball in the summer. I'm slowly getting my body back. It was an in-office day, which was a little difficult given the lack of sleep, but a colleague was moving to a new client account, so we had a farewell lunch for them. After returning home, I finished the word day and had a nap before moving onto the evening and NaNoWriMo.

On Saturday, I went out with a friend to Dewberry Trail. It was a beautiful day for it. The walk was lovely except for the part where we hit water because we ended up on the wrong path. Then it became an adventure of climbing through the woods to higher and mostly drier ground. We eventually found our way out and were probably a site with our walking sticks, muddy shoes, and my burr laden coat. Despite the cold, wet feet, I had a great time.

Treasure Hunt at Dewberry Trail by Rae Roy

On Sunday, I met with a doctor and will finally have meds for my ADHD whenever the pharmacy receives the fax. Other than that, I got a little bit of writing in, some decluttering, and some relaxing. My calves were quite sore from Saturday's 11,439 steps, so I needed to rest. I even went to bed a bit early.

2023 - Week 43

Monday was partly in-office and partly at home. I was able to clear my inbox, which had me feeling quite relieved. I ended the workday with the completion of the 2SLGBTQI+ Trivia PowerPoint that I'd been working on for a while. It's for an upcoming diversity event at work. The date is TBD. It was also studio day for my friend, so I hung out in her Discord server as they finalized another one of the songs for one of her upcoming albums. 

My new curling gripper came along with earrings I've been wanting:

I spent some time in a Twitch channel focused on costume making. I liked it and will visit again. I think I can learn a lot there to further improve my sewing skills, which is something I've wanted to do for a long time.

I didn't sleep well after about 2:00 AM. I kept waking up, so I let myself sleep until 8:30 AM before starting work on Tuesday. I had found a new lead to getting my ADHD medicated, so I was eager to get on it. I got an appointment for the afternoon and it wasn't cancelled. It was even covered by OHIP for the most part beyond an admin fee and they let me submit my diagnosis report, which will finally be a part of my medical record. But I didn't let myself get too hopeful as I've been let down too many times in this province that seems hell bent on turning the medical system into a for-profit model. The female doctor* sent me for some lab tests and pending the results of those, I'll be getting meds and a specialist referral!

I visited with my non-theistic religious group before heading off to GSL Curling where I almost made a takeout shot! My trainer of the night was really impressed by that and so were several friends. We were on the ice later than usual to complete our 2-end game, so I didn't stay for a drink. GSL runs 8:45 PM to 10:45 PM and I was exhausted after not sleeping much anyway.

Wednesday was a bit of a blur in terms of my workday, but I had a wonderful evening with a friend having dinner, shopping at Spirit Halloween, and visiting with her and her partner. He told me I need to do less and I absolutely agree, but October is always a heavy month for me. I didn't end up streaming, but spending time with a friend was exactly what I needed.

Thursday was steady at work and I was contacted about the specialist appointment, so I have that next weekend! I set up a new view in OBS for my stream and finally found a way to use my phone as another camera. I hoped that meant I was ready for Dinosaur Streamfest 17! I planned to start a new quilt on stream.

Friday was a Halloween Party for women who love women. I only had orange eyeshadow to colour my face with, but it worked enough. Not enough to win the contest, but enough to have a fun night.

Genderbent Sam from Trick 'r Treat.

I won a blanket! 

I had fun, but halfway through the night the introvert in me wanted to be in PJs at home and  I also wished I was cuddling with someone instead of being out. The hazards of being a romantic at heart. I'm actually not much for the bar/club scene and usually prefer a small house gathering or a movie. I want a cuddle buddy, but a lot of the scene is polyamourous and I'm not.

Saturday started roughly after being out drinking the night before. I was pretty disciplined and didn't get too drunk since I was streaming the next day. In the morning, I managed to buckle down and get my streaming area into a nicer shape. I had to redo my setup as my phone quickly got too warm and I realized that my laptop needed to be in a different place. I also had gotten new curtains that needed to be put up. And I wanted a pumpkin as I hadn't carved one in a long time.

A jail themed pumpkin to commemorate jail tours with friends.

It all came together and it was a lovely short stream with the Dinos. I think it was the first stream I've had that went smoothly. Part of that is owed to Danielle Allard's mods because they helped me change a couple of settings (fps and bitrate) that made it less laggy. I had hoped to use one of my Xbox cameras, and for months I thought it was a USB connection, so that would be possible. I finally remembered where my Xbox cameras were (spoiler, in the exact cabinet they should be in - ADHD & object permanance). Anyway, they are not at all USB connections though they may use that technology on the circuit board/bus. After stream, I decided I really wanted to do more art and crafting streams, so I ordered an inexpensive Logitech C270 for it. I will just need to figure out mounting options.

Sunday was the post Dinosaur Streamfest hang out before curling. I had spent time on Saturday lining up spares because my team all had to bail (injury, away, family emergency). Some friends came and helped out and we won though it didn't count because we have to have at least two of the rostered team members there. I felt like I was messing up a lot in the first half of the game, but I improved by the end. I had to adjust my glasses, so they'd stop falling down when I was in the hack. I do have a glasses strap for this, but I forgot it in my coat pocket and it's quite far from the ice. I'm still working on actually making a takeout shot. I was close on Tuesday and close on Sunday. Hopefully I'll get it soon. When I arrived home, my crafting camera had already arrived. I wanted to get to planning a mount, but I was tired after a month of too many things on the go. I will probably need a couple of options for different placings. Food and a shower were in order anyway. I played some Among Us with the Dinos before heading to bed and I was the imposter a few times.

2023 - Week 42

Will this week be the answer to life and everything? That answer is probably as unique as each individual on this planet.

This week began with a lot of soreness for me, particularly my shoulders after all the sweeping at my first curling game the day before. Despite that, I was gung-ho to install a shelf above the door in my bedroom. Problem? I put the parts that actually hold the shelf somewhere super secret. Regardless, I put the wall part they hook into up, so that it would be ready for when I inevitably tripped over them. I was really quite annoyed that I couldn't find them as they were getting in the way of me reorganizing my bookshelves, which is a necessary thing after a writer's conference. After some more intense searching, I found them and was ready to deal with my bookshelves, but I was too tired to hop to that. It was time for a break.

The ominous sky held splashes of hope on the horizon.

I finally put a note in my mail box to request no flyers or junk mail and was informed I needed a red dot, so I went back up and made one. I did my bookshelf reorg before attending the condo AGM. During that, I put up some cute Hallowe'en decorations. 

Suddenly, it was Tuesday and work was hectic. I fit in some Diablo IV, which was mainly to get my alt characters levelled enough to access their stashes to put loot in their hands as the current season is ending and I have no idea which loot is connected to it or if I have any and didn't want to lose anything. Dinner was mall Chinese food because I did not do enough groceries this week and had GSL curling, but first I finally hung the light that would be helpful for crafting. 

The rest of that wall has changed. My Dali is now in my bedroom. I want space on the wall for holding things I plan to craft and for some art I've already made. I also want to place things deliberately, so they are visible on stream. My Dali was too high to be shown nicely.

GSL was fun. We covered turning the handle before release and then we played a two end game. I learned a bit of strategy and finally got some answers on sweeping that I've been wanting for over a year!

Wednesday was my first time attending the Ottawa Writer's Festival and the event a couple of friends and I went to was titled: Between the Pages: An Evening with the Scotiabank Giller Prize Finalists. Four of the five finalists read from their nominated works and the fifth was read by a sub because the author of that one was busy giving birth. The sub was the winner of a previous year who didn't let the host convince her that it was better to be on a stage in front of people instead of at home on Zoom. She preferred not to be leaving her home and I think a lot of people can relate to that, particularly in the winter. The authors were of good humour and relateable rather than pretentious. A lot of the writing advice given was similar to that I received from Can-Con, so whether one is writing genre, non-fiction, or literary novels, writers are writers. Mostly, anyway. I have met some stuffy ones along the way, but not too often.

Thursday was hydra email day at work and then a Haunted Walk at the old Carleton Jail, which I got my ticket for when I was in Kingston on the spooky vacay because I learned that if I didn't go to it soon, I'd never be able to see it. They are discontinuing tours come December as the hostel is expanding its spaces. I invited a new friend to come along if they could get a ticket. I was early, so I had a divination reading done for fun and the rune I got was Jera. My new friend arrived sometime after that and we had a good time learning about the old jail and the gallows. A little morbid, but interesting. I got to see how small old cells really were. I could fit in one a little better than some, but I can't imagine spending 12 hours in it. I also can't imagine a large man staying in one for so long.

Friday came and went reasonably quickly as many of the things I had been waiting on finally arrived, so I was able to clear a lot of tasks. I had a brief, but odd, interaction at the grocery store before hanging out in my friend's Twitch chat while having some rum. I also did some novel work as I finally could! I'm currently splitting my chapters into scenes, which is thankfully easy in Scrivener. Well, easy enough. It's still a lot of mundane work. This will let me move pieces around more easily and do the restructure it sorely needs. I'm both looking forward to and dreading this, but I know it will make it better.
On Saturday, I slept in until 8, which is when I usually start work during the week. Then I split my time between editing my novel and cleaning the condo. It was a rainy day, so I didn't want to be out anyway. I completed the task of breaking out my novel into scenes for the most part. Some of my last chapters were not easy to find the scenes in and I figured that they would be changing quite a lot since they were the least edited, so I left them for later. After about two hours of this, I decided to bring some things out to my car despite the rain as I needed a break and I wanted my entranceway back. I spent some time sourcing a slim cart to hold some items. I was going to build a shelf, but I really haven't felt like it. It would be a lot of work and I was finally making progress on my book. After taking some things to storage, I decided lunch and some gaming was in order. I later spent about an hour trying to find my hammer as I wanted to get more done, but I was totally spent, so takeout and a movie were in order. I watched two. The first was Evil Dead Rise and it was a serious horror rather than Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness, and Ash vs Evil Dead were. I tend to prefer horror comedies these days. The second was You Can Live Forever. It was a bit of an odd sapphic romance set in the context of a Jehovah's Witness community. During it, I did some prep work for Dinosaur Streamfest 17 where I will be crafting. My timeslot is 4:00 PM Eastern.


Sunday came and I got errands done. I wanted a nicer coat, needed more fabric for my upcoming quilting project, and I also needed gas in my car. I was only slightly late to hanging out with friends online. I won some art from Danielle Allard's Twitch channel and the timing is lovely since I was working on making room on my wall for art. That piece may go in my music room since it's an album cover. I was glad my team had a bye for curling due to all the construction projects making it difficult to travel in the city. It also let me work on my goals and relax.

2023 - Week 41

Monday was taken up traveling back to Ottawa from spooky vacay, playing a little Diablo IV, and getting to bed early after such a full weekend.
It was hard to focus on work on Tuesday, but I got some good news about an issue at least. Not that there is a resolution on the horizon exactly, but I now know I'm not alone in facing it, which is helpful. I'm being deliberately vague as it's day job related. I was a little tired at GSL Curling, but I learned some advanced things about sweeping related to who should sweep closest to the rock. I told a former teammate who has far more experience and he was pretty surprised.
On Wednesday, I needed a little lie down after work before my stream. I was still recovering from the late night curling. But I don't need to attend the Wednesday morning meeting anymore, so I can sleep in and flex my day going forward. This is a relief as the learner curling program is a 2-year program and the second level group is on the ice at the same time as us. Stream was fun after I changed my world tier and learned how to play my necromancer better. As I've said before, I play games more for the story than the challenge as my life is often challenging enough and I just want to know what happens to the characters. Am I truly a gamer if I play them on easy mode? I don't really care anymore. If it's not fun, there's no point for me as I have no esports career aspirations.
Thursday was productive. I got all my tasks either completed or made progress. I handed off anything that seemed to need extra support. After work, I made my exchanges at Home Depot. I also got two loads of dishes and a load of laundry done before finishing and publishing last week's blog post. Then I watched Friday the 13th Part II and III. I wanted to fit at least one of the movies in as Can-Con would begin on Friday the 13th. While prepping dinner, I injured some toes as I slid down my stepladder. The joys of momentary inattentiveness! So I was walking around all weekend with bruised toes. Thankfully, they didn't hurt and were just colourful, but my shoulder was a bit sore and that had me worried for Sunday's curling game (1).
Can-Con 2023
Day 1 started with prepping books to sell in case anyone asked about my work. Then I promptly missed the bus, but knowing our transit system, I had left with extra time on the extra time I left for this. I made it on-time to a world-building workshop held by award-winning author Julie Czerneda, whose name I've been misspelling for years, apparently. I paid extra to be able to attend that. Julie is someone I've been following for several years now, but have rarely had a chance to actually speak to. It was an excellent workshop and I had fun. I'm thankful Julie had some handouts as there wasn't time to write a lot of notes outside of the little story we put together in our groups. I have to say that I was a bit scared of that because group work is often painful, but I ended up with two other creative women and we found our groove and had fun with it.
The plan for the rest of the evening was:
1. Story Generators2. The Journey to Publication ... and Beyond!3. These Violent Ends
The first panel on story generators was interesting and we learned about ways to use story generators as a tool that helps guide parts of a story, but not write it for you. These included things like memes, picking a number that corresponds to lists of categories (genre, character 1, character 2, problem, etc), help with names, or just help with a block. I had already been doing a lot of the techniques mentioned, but sometimes it's nice to have some affirmation that I'm on a path that is useful. I also learned about some generator options that I didn't know about.
Panel two was immensely helpful for me. I had long been wondering which path to take once I'm done the edits I'm currently doing on my novel and I got the information I needed to make that decision.
The third panel was interesting despite getting a bit fixated on one type of violence, but it left me thinking about how I use various kinds of violence in my work and whether I should or not.
The plan for Day 2 was:
1. Fantastical Verse: Writing Speculative Poetry2. Spinning Your Hyperfixations into Gold3. Lunch/Once the Book is Finished/Renaissance Party4. Climate, Infrastructure, and Gentrification/Renaissance Party5. Reader Expectations and Crossing Genres6. That's Not Queerbaiting, Actually 7. Good for Her! In Defense of Final Girls
I enjoyed the first panel of the day. I particularly liked that some of them agreed that there is a lot of similarity between poetry and song since I have interest in both areas. Two things that stuck with me is that poems often make arguments and they can more easily cross genres.
The second panel was interesting, but I could tell they didn't really get the difference between a short-term passion and a hyperfixation. When I'm hyperfixated, I want my whole life to revolve around the thing. I'll want everything in the world that exists that involves it, such as owning all the merch and to learn every related thing in the world. It's rather an obsessive level and I'll often soon feel like I never want to have anything to do with the thing anymore. This may all happen in the span of a week. It's quite different than being into something for several years and then wanting a new challenge.
I next took off with a friend for a quick bite to eat before the panel on what often happens procedurally with a book after it's written. I learned there are a lot of discussions at every stage including what it needs editiorially, how to market it, what the cover should look like, the editing process with the author, and how the relationships evolve after book one. Fundamentally, a book is a product and a lot of decisions need to be made into marketing it that may not be exactly what the author wants as in the cover design because a lot goes into the saleability that authors don't really understand at the level needed.
I dropped into the Renaissance Press Party for a bit where I listened to some authors read from their work before heading to the climate related panel, which I was slightly late to. For perspective, I went from the Penthouse to the bar on the ground floor and back to the Penthouse, which involves some stairs from the top elevator-connected floor. The climate panel gave me other things to think about like how some people don't care about climate issues because they are wealthy enough to not have to deal with its impact.
After that, I went back to the Renaissance Press Party and heard about the exciting changes happening over there. I have a number of friends who are involved with Renaissance and I'm excited for them!
Attending the panel related to multi-genre work has me wondering if I'm writing in more than one genre or if I simply have a subplot that is romantic plus the main dark urban fantasy plot that features some technological elements. A lot of things like this don't have a set answer, so one has to be rather open when it comes to marketing the end product to the consumer.
The queer panel was a fun one. I learned that I have had queer elements in my writing long before I figured out my sexuality. Am I surprised? Nope.
The last panel I went to on final girls was another enjoyable one and has me wanting to catch up on some horror films I missed along the way.
Then I attended the Glitter party for a bit before heading home. We were told absolutely no free roaming glitter was allowed as the hotel was not cleaning that up, which is fair. I didn't mingle all that much as I was quite mentally and socially exhausted by this point.
One of the things I truly enjoyed hearing was about the relationships between authors and their editors and agents. I heard from more than one editor and an agent that editors are there to improve your work, but it is ultimately still yours. One of my previous experiences with an editor did not feel like that and I'm glad there are a lot of editors out there who feel they aren't there to be in the way of the story you are telling because it isn't their work. And the agent is there to help you access markets, get contracts, etc.
Sunday was my first Rainbow Rockers (RR) curling draw and I found it a bit hard to switch my mindset as I had a list of changes I wanted to make to my book partly from the learnings at Can-Con and partly from the lovely spooky weekend away I had with friends the previous weekend. It was a bit tough to play after all the walking at Can-Con. We lost, but only by three points and that's pretty good for the level of experience we have. We were learning and adjusting on the fly, which is hectic, but it's also part of the fun at this level. I really need to learn the scoring better and to ensure I can enter the score when we win someday. It was odd playing third after a season of lead, but I enjoyed it!
After all that, I was glad I took Monday off to catch up around the house, do groceries, and rest. My brain feels like meaty mush after all the information it took in, but I have so much that I want to do!
(1) Technically, a curling game is called a draw, but we also have a shot that is a draw (to the button), and then there is a draw meaning a tie, so a lot of people just call them games to save some confusion.

2023 - Week 40

I felt a touch rough on Monday. After exchanging some shoes, I needed electrolytes. The heat with the egg thing made me a bit nauseus. I had lots of fluids before having noodles for dinner. That made me feel better.

When Tuesday came about, I was looking forward to what I might be learning at GSL curling in the evening. I was also excited to being on the ice as a break from the unseasonal heat. It's spooky season! It's supposed to be a cool and cuddly time. We should be wearing hoodies (or bunny hugs if you prefer). Instead, I was sweating in jeans as I simply walked from my condo building to my car.

Wednesday's plan was streaming, but I also hoped to fit an exchange at Home Depot in as I got the wrong shelf size for a project. Really, my original plan for something didn't work, so I was choosing to go a different way. I did stream, but I didn't get to Home Depot.

Thursday featured work followed by packing for my spooky weekend away with friends. I got my oil and my engine air filter changed as my car had been sounding a bit sickly.

Friday was more prep for the trip before taking in the 1931 Dracula with Bella Lugosi at Beechwood Cemetary with one of the trip friends. I was much more prepared for the Capital Pop-Up Cinema experience at the mausoleum this year, so I wasn't cold despite the little bits of rain during the show. The wind made the screen billow at times, which gave the whole experience a psychedelic edge.

Spooky Friendsgiving 2023

On Saturday it was off to Kingston for the weekend for Spooky Friendsgiving. We first hit up Home Depot to use the washrooms and check out the spooky decor. I particularly liked the super-sized Jack Skellington:

Then we dropped by Spirit Halloween and I got my costume for the upcoming Lez Go Halloween event. I'm sad for Kingston as their store has almost no animatronic section and they're really missing out on the experience that is Spirit Halloween.

We got groceries before checking into our cute Air B&B. Food was had then we went to Fort Fright at Fort Henry. It was a lot like Saunders, but I think Saunders is better as it has more to do and a nice eating area for after. One actor did manage to startle me though. It was very dark at Fort Fright, so quite a number of pictures came out blurry like this one where it looks like our souls were leaving our bodies. 

Photo taken by Erika Gaal.

Fort Henry's shopping area was lit better than the walkway up to it:

Photo taken by Erika Gaal.

What would a spooky trip be without thematic cocktails? We had Raven's Kiss on the first night:

Photo taken by Erika Gaal.

Sunday was jam-packed with a day-time tour of Kingston Penitentiary. We did take a lot of pictures, but it was quite a heavy tour. This seemingly pleasant looking picture of the central hub, otherwise known as the dome, was once the stage for a riot where sex offenders and child killers were given prison justice before the control station in the middle was installed:

This should be needless to say, but a penitentiary is not a good tour for children. Even young teens probably shouldn't hear the things we heard. Some children were there and they were very upset to hear about people being violently beaten. Hell, I wasn't fond of it either and wanted to cry myself despite understanding all the complexities around that.

Thankfully, we had this lovely tour guide named Connor who injected humour at appropriate moments to lighten the mood:

I spent a lot of time taking pictures from the remnants of Pumpkinferno. Here are a couple:

There was some beautiful Indigenous art on the wall in solitary confinement:

We learned a bit about how they have been taking steps to help Indigenous inmates reconnect with their culture and that it is helping reduce recidivism, but the relative percentage of inmates who are Indigenous vs the Indigenous population in Canada is way too high.

Heavy books, such as the one below, were often used either for smuggling contraband or to block rats from coming out of the toilets. That was lovely to learn about. I'm still scarred from playing A Plague Tale...

We all decided prison was not somewhere we would enjoy or possibly even survive.

After that, we went to some antique stores and a gaming store, where I got a Hitchcock puzzle that turns into a mystery to solve after it's put together. I'm looking forward to doing that in the winter months.

It was off to Swiss Chalet for some Thanksgiving dinner meals we didn't have to prepare or cook. These were very tasty.

We ended the day with a Haunted Walk. A friend took these next two photos. The first is of a local bed and breakfast that is supposedly home to a spirit:

Photo taken by Cat Matchuk.

The second is of a company that reportedly has regular spooky occurances.

Photo taken by Cat Matchuk.

There was also a castle a merchant built with a tower for his wife to have the best view of public hangings. It's now a private home, so there are no pictures of it.

We heard of many other spooky stories, but you'll have to go on the walk yourself to learn about them.

We also learned about Skeleton Park, which has a history of bones regularly coming to the surface and tombstones.

Photo taken by Cat Matchuk.

That may be a rock. It's hard to tell. Also, there were so many leaves that when we went to check it out on Monday before leaving, we couldn't see much. There was a large area of fresh dirt with some mulch...

We also learned that children often used the tombstones as bases and some mounted human skulls to their bicycles like hood ornaments. Was this the old baseball field?

After talking with a new friend who is from there, I learned there are pretty much human bones everywhere you walk in Kingston. The population is so used to finding them in their backyard that they are rather blasé about it all.

With bones being under their sidewalks, buried on their waterfronts, and cadaver related shenanigans, I guess they really don't need the full Spirit Halloween experience. They're always living in Spookyville.

It was so wonderful spending a holiday weekend with friends fully enjoying spooky season. We can't wait to do it again!

2023 - Week 39

Starting curling season out right with this lovely gift from a friend and Bengal Spice tea.

Normally, I work in-office on Mondays, but after such a busy week, I couldn't deal with an environment filled with distraction and socializing. Most of my team wouldn't be in anyway, so there wasn't a lot of point to making the transit trip. I spent the day working, catching up around Tiny Condo, taking in another Scrivener webinar, playing Minecraft, and attending my friend Danielle Allard's studio stream. The webinar was focused on using Scrivener as a tool for academic writing, but he demonstrated some features that are making it easier for me to continue reorganizing my novel into scenes. Later, I set up my Google calendar with the dates for round 1 of Rainbow Rockers (RR) curling.

On Tuesday, I pulled the Death card for a second day in a row. I try to do a daily tarot though sometimes I forget. I know it's random and woo, but it's interesting that lately I've pulled a lot of cards that speak to endings, beginnings, and change overall as we head into a season change that is more disruptive in a lot of ways than some others as people get back to things like school. During lunch, I fit in a bit of Minecraft. I'm massively reorganizing my storage on the Dinocraft server because I might as well be reorganizing everything in life everywhere all at once, right? I guess I get the urge to fall clean rather than in spring. I figure it makes sense because when I'm not curling, I pretty much aim to hibernate, so why wouldn't I want my home to be nice for that? In the evening, I met with my spiritual group for a little bit before heading off to Getting Started League (GSL) curling. I was anxious and excited for it to start. New people are both exciting and scary to me. Also, my shins remained somewhat unhappy after softball playoffs, so I wasn't sure I could actually do much of anything. Thankfully, they didn't work us too hard. I'm also much more physically stable this year and it was wonderful to be back on the ice.

Wednesday was a bit rough after having curling so late. This will be the case until April, but I won't have to continue coming to my Wednesday morning meeting forever since it's related to what I used to do, so it will get a little easier to sleep in some on Wednesdays and I'll just have to flex my hours a bit. I took in another Scrivener webinar at lunch. I also figured out what I want to do in my music room since the current layout isn't working. I don't know when I'll have time to do the rearrangement. During dinner I made sure to take some iron & vitamin C with dinner as I have been feeling run down since softball playoffs. I figured I may have depleted some nutrients with the increase in exercise. I learned that my audio was not good last week on my stream when my friend came in and said he couldn't hear my game volume. It's fixed now. The funny thing is that I don't think there has ever not been an audio issue when he has come to watch my stream. Hopefully, next time it will be all good. I hadn't realized that the last episode of Jack Ryan that I watched was THE last episode that exists. Thankfully, I found Daisy Jones and The Six to watch next. It follows a fictional rock band as they get discovered and grow.

I felt a lot better on Thursday. After some work, a haircut was in order as my hair had become a styleless mess. It was nice catching up with my hairdresser. She's awesome. I stopped for the groceries I forgot the previous day before getting back to work. After the haircut, I felt even better, so I was able to get several things handled that I was struggling with in my inbox. I made myself a yummy dinner then tuned in online to a friend's performance in a local park. Normally, I would go watch her play in person, but I had to give my account regarding an incident. I felt both exhausted yet relieved after that. I hadn't been looking forward to it.

Friday began with a little pre-work Minecraft. And discord apparently got messed up on desktop.

I made some cupcakes from spice cake mix. I figured that was a seasonal flavour now that we're in autumn, though that's not apparent if you look at the weather. I played more Minecraft in the evening and then watched my friend's Twitch stream. 

On Saturday, I was a bit sick from the cupcakes. Apparently, the eggs I had used were too old. I only figured that out by opening one of the remaining ones as I tried to fry it. It was more liquid than eggs normally are and it smelled bad. The strange thing is that the eggs I made cake with were only 5 days past their date. My mom used to take eggs older than that and turn them into hard-boiled eggs. Good thing I only had enough to slightly upset my system because I had to get to RR curling in the afternoon. I learned a couple of new things and I slid all the way to the hog line for the first time ever!

Sunday was split between Minecraft and a BBQ at a softball friend's house. It was lovely weather for it though I was annoyed because it's too hot for October in my opinion. The food was yummy and the conversations were good. But I did get tired after a bit. It was probably a dumb idea to have any alcohol after the Bad Egg Incident of 2023. I felt pretty non-functional when I got home.

2023 - Week 38

A table decoration from the 2023 OQSL Athletic Banquet.

With 14 weeks left of 2023, it's time to switch to my autumn schedule. My plans include a return to Twitch streaming, playing in two curling leagues, indulging in spooky activities, writing, and continuing home improvements.

First up on Monday was moving some donations to my car and fixing the cabin air filter door. Apparently, it is easy to put it back in place when it isn't hot in the car. Lesson learned. Or perhaps I had more muscles after 3 days in a row of softball? The RPMs are looking much better now that the airflow is better and the car smells better inside. After work, I watched some curling and got my bag ready for next week.

Next this week was the Annual General Meeting for the Getting Started League. This is the league that will be teaching me how to curl in a thorough way. I didn't end up going. While I'm super excited about all the things planned for the fall, part of me also has difficulty with change, so I've been in a funk. I also figured that an AGM for a curling league that I'm brand new to was OK to miss, especially for self care reasons. I figured I could wait until the actual start day to go and make friends in my cohort.

My in-office day moved to Wednesday for this week. I planned to get home and stuff my face before my Diablo IV stream. Lunch was provided, so I didn't have to work hard to figure out dinner, which was excellent after a full weekend where I had no time for luxuries like grocery shopping. I think stream went OK, though I better check it out before next week as I was using a different headset that has a built-in microphone and it's possible the audio was actually awful.

I had a ticket to a queer singles night called Queer Tribes on Thursday. This was not at all what I thought it was going to be like. There was no one remotely in my age range. They were all a lot younger, so much so that I could be their mother. It was also set up as a dance party on a Thursday when I had to work the next day. It's probably fun if you're in your 20s and don't have a lot of committments.

Friday was originally set to be a Mayfair outing for Rocky Horror, but my friends couldn't make it, so I decided to stay in. I watched my friend S.M. Carrière stream Shadows of Mordor while playing some Minecraft on Mal Ganis.

I have Rocky Horror at home, so I popped it on as I was getting ready on Saturday for the softball banquet. My plans included much celebrating. I didn't drink a lot through this summer. It's quite dehydrating for me and I was almost always driving to the game and home from the bar. For whatever reason, I couldn't get drunk, but I had a great time with my team and friends from other teams.

Sunday was at home and I looked forward to mostly resting. I was overtired all day and spent the bulk of it playing Minecraft on the Dinocraft server and watching Jack Ryan. Having just one thing booked on a day has been rare for me these past few months. I'm actually aiming to have more days with nothing at all booked in the near future.

Overall, I'm excited about what's coming, but making new friends is always anxiety producing for me and there has been a lot of change in recent days. I was really worried I wouldn't see a lot of the softball folks over the winter months, but quite a lot of them are in curling this year now that the league has expanded. My team still has a couple of get togethers planned. And several non curling friends want to get together in a month or so.

A number of my other friends have wondered why I joined softball. They didn't know I used to play pickup baseball in high school. The field I used to meet Indigenous friends on is now only used for little kids to play soccer. I was sad to see that on the last visit to my hometown. 

I never liked the running part, but I could usually hit the ball. I used to play catch with a friend on the road as well. Soccer always had too much running. I'm short, so basketball and volleyball weren't my forte. Baseball, I could do. Years ago, I subbed on an adult beer league team and I caught the ball at home plate then tagged this woman out who used to bully me. It's a favourite memory of mine. 

But pickup, catch, and subbing aren't like being a team member. Playing on a team has improved my confidence. It has changed my perspective on some things. It has even made me like orange. Now, I see orange and I think of the love of our co-captains, team spirit, friends, smiling faces, and wonderful summer nights spent playing the game. Playing on a team has made me better because I wanted to get better for my team. It has also been quite healing with all the hugs.

But I'm socially burnt out after all the things lately. I have more empty days in the coming week to recover. Probably not as many as I should, but it's better than my usual.

#smackthat #allonthefloor #givemesomemore #tilwecanscore

2023 - Week 37

Image by Paul Brennan from Pixabay.

The focus of this week at home was to get my main living area reorganized. As a full week was ahead of me, I knew I wasn't likely to get a lot more done, but just having my furniture in the right places would make me feel better about the state of Tiny Condo.

This started with purging the awful excuse for a gaming chair that I had for a bit. It was uncomfortable, the arms broke, and the vinyl on it was flimsy. Monday was bulk item day for this month at my building. I missed it the previous month and made sure not to miss it again.

Monday evening and quite a bit of Tuesday was spent on getting set up and though I was quite sore, I felt happy to be making a huge amount of progress. On Monday, I got my desk and seating into the living room. On Tuesday, I relocated my air conditioner to my new music space. I cleaned the windows in the living room (from the inside). I set up some of my music items in the music room. I wanted to do more, but my back was sore from lifting, moving, and working. Still, I fit in some laundry and a load of dishes because I didn't want to fall further behind on those.

I didn't uninstall the air conditioner yet because we are still having some warm days and I don't like having my windows open for long periods since I live close to the highway.

My new setup is allowing me to use the same chair for crafting, for work, and for gaming. I'm also getting more sunlight in, but have control over it, so yay for more Vitamin D a.k.a. the only "D" I want in my life ;)

Wednesday involved more moving stuff around, as well as a first pass at cleaning my outside windows. They need a second pass with something like vinegar to deal with the film from hard water all year. I also need to do the window on the balcony screen door, which I totally spaced on, but also didn't have the energy for. Also on Wednesday was the first meetup for my queer curling league. I paid my balance, signed up for the beginner session, and met my new Skip. He was really nice. I also caught up with a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while. Then I oiled my glove in advance of the last league game on Thursday.

The last game was a bit rough at the start, but we got it together. I even got a run in! Our first playoff game on Friday was against the same team. I was hopeful we'd do better since more of our team was able to make it. We lost, but that meant we didn't have to get up early, so we could stay later at the bar. But I couldn't run anymore. My shin splints got too bad near the end and I was given a runner. And I felt bad about it because so many of us were feeling pretty broken by that point and needed runners. It was so weird having someone else run for me, but I clearly needed it on Friday and on Saturday.

I felt like crying through much of playoffs because I had no idea when I would see my softball friends again since there are a bunch who don't curl and May is so far away.

After such a packed weekend of softball, I am mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially exhausted, but I loved it.

2023 - Week 36

This week I've made a bigger mess at home in order to get it in order. Breaking a few eggs and all that.

I relocated my headboard to my bedroom, so it's actually a headboard again. I was using it as an art shelf for my very large Doré print of Souvenir of Loch Lomand. It became my favourite after an enjoyable date at the National Gallery many years ago. I switched to a couple of large hooks once I figured out how high to put them on the wall. This reclaimed 11 inches of space between my TV and my daybed/couch, while making my bedroom feel more complete. It wasn't without a fight. The hooks come with the part that is screwed onto the wall flipped from how it needs to go on the wall. They also didn't come with enough screws to keep them in place correctly. I also had to get two new surge protectors that had flat plug heads on them or I wouldn't have been able to have my daybed couch against the wall. At least I found a deal on those, but talk about spending money I wish I didn't have to. I suppose I have spares now. Bright side yada yada.

But my print wouldn't sit at the right angle, so I had to work out a plan to make all that I did actually work out and I wasn't sure what that would be. I was only sure that I was super annoyed about it and also really tired after all of that. Like, can I please just have *something* go smoothly? I'm not trying to do anything abnormal here!

I know, first world problems for sure. 

Thankfully, I did find this weird bit of metal that I could use to keep it in place. 

I wasted no time getting my couch moved into position once the new surge protectors came. Then I watched some Sharp Objects as a reward? The show has some heaviness to it and may not be for you.

Trigger Warning

Sharp Object's main character practices self-harm via cutting and scarification.

Workwise, this week included training people on what I used to do. Hopefully, I won't have to get too involved in year end activities. Given that I always end up pulled back into it, I'm not expecting that I won't be involved. And there will be an opening in my department soon, so time will tell on how that shakes out.

On Wednesday, I had intended to go to a new dojo and ask about Tai Chi, but I realized that I didn't really want to go back to the martial arts world in a class setting at this time. I want more fitness in my life, but I don't want more things to schedule, another subscription fee, or more driving in my life. 

I've been getting more time to create lately and it has been such a long time since I felt as happy as I do. I feel like the best thing is to continue on my current path since it seems to be working for me. I think I may do some drop-in leisure swims at a nearby pool as they are very inexpensive and I can choose my time and days. If I'm not going more than once or twice a week, the cholorine shouldn't be overly problematic for my skin either. I'm planning to go during a time of day where it should be mostly adults. I read there are also women's swims, which I may prefer.

I've noticed that the skin on my face and neck has tightened up some after a summer of softball and working around the condo. My glutes, ankles, back muscles, and arms are also stronger. I'll be doing more in the fall with two curling leagues on the go and whatever else I do on the off days, so I expect I may see my pre-Covid body someday. Maybe I'll even get in better shape than that.

I have finally figured out a better way to use my living space and I’m excited to get to it in the coming weeks. My desk will be swapped with my keyboard. This will let me do crafting, writing, and gaming all in the same area of Tiny Condo. Then my music area will be semi-separate, but just on the other side of my desk.

Despite the struggle, I got Issue 3 of my newsletter, Rae's Record, out. I'm going to try to get it out sooner than I have been, but life has been a lot and I figure I have time. This issue includes some ways I'm using Scrivener's Outliner tool to level up my editing.

This coming week is packed full between working in-office, a curling meet, a softball makeup game, then softball playoffs. The following one will have a lot of recovery time, but I do plan to return to streaming during it.

2023 - Week 35

Early in the week, I read some posts online that suggested we are supposed to be the most unhappy in our 40s. That has not been my experience despite the increase in thoughts of mortality and questions about the whole of existence, which are normal in middle age. Yeah, apparently 40 is middle age, so I've been in it for a little while.
I spent my 20s attached then married, my 30s healing from that, and in my 40s, I feel like my life is improving by the day. 
Does that mean everything is perfect?
Nope.
But I am putting a lot of effort into building a foundation for my creative efforts and that is bringing me a deep sense of happiness because I've yearned to reach these steps for so many years.
Starting a newsletter has been helpful for accountability.
Joining team sports has also been helpful for my self-esteem, my social life, and my self-improvement.
Learning to work better with my brain is making my everyday a little bit smoother. I still have meltdowns from time to time and struggle to decide what to do with a junk pile, but I try to be patient with myself now that I understand why those things happen.
My confidence is on the rise while I care less and less about unimportant things. I can better sort through what is and isn't important now. I deal with unpleasantness calmly.
I still have energy to pursue my passions. And if you've been here before, you know I have quite a few of those.
Yes, there is a lot more that I have to do before I'll be where I want to be with my writing and other creative pursuits, but most things don't feel so impossible anymore.
I catch myself smiling more than I have in decades. That's quite motivating and assuring about the path I'm on.
That path absolutely includes my creative projects like my novels. I spent part of this week learning to use Scrivener better to help me finish the editing of Sparker. I'm very much someone who adds more layers to my projects as I go. I don't have it all planned out from the get go. I grow along with my stories. Tweaking the appearance and making use of some elements like the outliner is helping me find the parts that need work.
I also returned to online dating this week. I'm not getting my hopes up as I've had a lot of disappointments in that realm whether in-person or online. But I'm trying anyway because I won't meet anyone by doing nothing. At least I could choose women who were in the right stage of life and had similar interests. Time will tell on this front. I genuinely hate filling out these profiles because it's so hard to give a good synopsis of who I am when I am passionate about so many things.
I spent a lot of this week quite exhausted from the previous one. 2023 Capital Pride was part of that. It had me so emotional this year. I was getting sore as I waited for the parade to get moving. Pavement and concrete are always more painful for me than other walking surfaces. What I realized is that the march is supposed to be painful to a degree. I was feeling a tiny fraction of what trail-blazing queers felt and endured before me as they protested for the rights we are now fighting to keep. This year, I felt more connected to the past and to the present queer community.
As I headed into the long weekend, I was sad that softball is almost over. The date for the athletic banquet was announced. I'm so happy that I was a part of Smack That. I even look upon orange with love instead of hate now.