Rae Roy's Blog, page 12

2023 - Week 51

It's Yule and it has been so hard to focus on work this week. Everyone should give themselves a pat on the back for getting this far.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.

2SLGBTQIA+ News

This week in 2SLGBTQIA+ News, Pope Francis declared that Catholic priests can bless same sex couples, but not in conjunction with a wedding or civil union because he maintains that only one man and one woman can marry each other.

What a load of bullshit.

I'm not a Big 3 believer, but I did attend Catholic school as a child and went to church on occasion. Anyway, there are a lot of other options that don't involve adding the, "hate the sin, not the sinner," crap to your already challenging existence. And there are a lot of options that celebrate gay marriage just as much as straight marriage. The Catholic religion also has a bad record involving child molestation, so there is even more reason to seek spiritual and moral guidance elsewhere.

Furthermore, marriage is a legal contract. Weddings are a celebration of love. Gay people have always been here and love is love!

ADHD Update

I tried to schedule a follow up as it was close to the time to need a refill. Though my new med is vastly better, having rashes is really not a good sign, so it's probably not quite right. It has also mostly worn off by the early afternoon, so I wanted to check in and see what my doctor suggests. Oddly, I also feel amped on it, so I don't really know what I need at all. Perhaps a non stimulant is the answer for me.

Food is still a bit of a struggle. It's not as bad as it was with the previous medication, but my appetite is low until the evening. Liquids tend to be OK options at least.

Curling

GSL started earlier than usual, so we could all have a meal together before playing the last game until January 9th. Well, the last GSL until then. I have a game with Rainbow on the 7th. Anyway, I was eager to try some things out that I had seen while watching the recent Championships. I also wanted to work on my slide accuracy. I think I did improve it some, but the ice started out fast then slowed down and I threw some rocks short. Since we currently rotate positions each end, it can be hard to adapt quickly. I don't really know how I did either because I was on the sheet that has some stones that may be improperly matched or weighted according to some experienced players and my team of the evening had those stones.

Decluttering & Minimalism

I mainly focused on basic chores this week since I would be busy with family come the weekend.

Gaming & Streaming

I really wanted a horse, so it was back to doing the campaign quests in Diablo IV. There is one more Act to go before I can have a horse. I actually have two horses I can't access. They even have armour. I may do a pop up stream next week just to get it done.

Music

I located my Focusrite, but it took a bit to get my Yamaha keyboard to connect to my PC. At the end, I wasn't sure I even needed to be using the Focusrite for it. This is something to play around with after the holidays. I found a book on the Digital Audio Workstation (DAW) that I use and I think I'm going to get the ebook version and use that to learn the software.

Writing

I've decided to channel Gandalf on writing timelines. Not that I'm a wizard, but I like his style: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25q9_q3ILow

It does me no good to think I should already be done a project because I know so many people who are faster at putting their own work out. It's better to just try and get it done without any guilt that it's not done.

I'm tweaking my tags in regards to writing in order to separate the goal updates from posts that delve into the craft of the thing. People ask me questions about writing often enough that I think it's worth adding a tag for this.

I did make further progress on a screenplay this week. I need to plot the middle of the story before I will be able to get into a flow. I have some breadcrumbs sketched out that hopefully don't lead me to a cannibal's home because that's not currently part of the story. Maybe it should be though...

2023 - Week 50

Holy crap, 2023 is almost over! It's a good thing too. I can't handle much more of it.

ADHD Update

I have had a headache from time to time and I can't tell if that is the med or the stress, but having some electrolytes seems to help it some. I read that these types of meds can deplete potassium. I also got a bit of milk rash, so I've started taking lactase pills and hope that it will stop that from happening or I'll need a different form that doesn't have lactose in it. This rash issue is common with me and medications, so it's not unexpected at all and is more annoying than anything, but  it could become concerning.

Curling

GSL was a bit frustrating. I felt like I just couldn't get my rocks where they were wanted. I also still haven't made a takeout shot. A friend was there and he took a video of me, so I learned I have been a little left of the target. I've let my skip at Rainbow know, so that we can work on that. I've been trying second position out a lot at GSL. I currently play third at Rainbow and last year I did lead. I don't enjoy being a skip, but it's good to learn it. I like third the best.

I watched a lot of the WFG Masters this weekend and it was interesting to see what the pros do. I was talking with my previous skip about how the ice is faster there, so the weights they use for their throws seem closer to each other than the weights we throw in our club. I would say that less may be more in curling, but I've been told that every ice shed is different and every sheet. There are so many variables,. At our club, we have two sheets near outdoor walls and that makes rocks prefer to curl toward the outer side boards. There may have been fewer differences between each sheet of ice in Saskatoon. 

Sweeping was so deliberate. Often only one would sweep at a time and they had so many different positions for their broom heads. Their footwork while sweeping was like how one of my trainers does it, which is primarily on the balls of the feet. Often, if they couldn't get more than 1 point, they didn't want any. They left fewer rocks on the ice as they constantly cleared opponent rocks. They almost always got their rocks where they wanted to. One of my trainers isn't a fan of drawing to the button, but the pros seemed to do it quite often after they had guards in place.

It was also excellent to see Team Homan back on top after Rachel had her second child in September. Certain people in the comments section earlier in the year were claiming Team Homan's time was over, so it was nice to see them get their 14th win after some position shuffling and such.

At Rainbow, I didn't have any games, but it was our holiday banquet, so I wore a silly blue sweater with Rudolph on it. I added red and green accents as those were in the dress code. None of my team was coming, so I wasn't sure who I would be sitting with. That made me a touch anxious, but it turned out OK and I enjoyed the table I ended up at and had great conversations while we watched the men's championship game.

Warning - Some people have been scammed by paying to access curling games on Facebook. Yes, Sportsnet kind of sucks in that they feature the same one sheet on all their channels, but it's better than giving money to someone who claims the games aren't being televised anymore or some other nonsense who then uses your card for other purchases.

Decluttering & Minimalism

I'm partially stalled as it's hard to bring anything to my car to get rid of it. I have been gathering the paperwork that needs filing and shredding together. I want to get to a place where a lot of my less needed items are in my storage rather than in my bedroom, but that will take some lifting that I can't do yet.

Gaming & Streaming

My Diablo stream went as well as it usually does. I figured out I will need to skip the side quests for a bit if I want to have a mount. It'll make everything faster to do that. Am I ready to face the terrifying demon Lilith who is also very hot? I guess I'll see next week perhaps. Though I suspect that there will be more to go before that happens. I have two campaign quests and one of them is after this chase for Lilith.

Kia Recall Update

This week, I issued a formal written notice that I disagree with my condo board's decision to ban me from the parking lot. I won't be reporting on this further for the time being. Suffice it to say there's a lot of stress and time involved. I'm getting help to protect myself.

Movies

This weekend I spent time at the Bytowne for a special spooky holiday movie followed by a VIP Haunted Walk Investigation. There were a number of spooky holiday stories that came before a version of A Christmas Carol.

I'm a skeptical person, but a couple of objects that we left out did move. No one was over by the riser they were placed on. We had outlined them in chalk. I spent quite a lot of time staring at the riser. A photo and a bracelet were the objects that were moved.

Anyway, it's common in many cultures to tell scary stories around solstices and equinoxes. The Yule Cat, Krampus, Mari Lywd, are just a few we heard about. Charles Dickens wrote another spooky Christmas tale called The Christmas Goblins.

Music

While watching a student production from Algonquin, I had the pleasure of seeing this young performer sing: http://www.missmcleod.ca/

I spent time getting my electronic keyboard set up for future goals. I'm excited about this. I just need to locate my Focusrite to get it connected to Ableton and Playground Sessions.

Writing

I've been picking at a holiday screenplay lately. I have so many projects I want to put out and I'm frustrated about how long all of them are taking me to finish.

2023 - Week 49

This week was been stressful, but I managed to get some things off of my to-do list. It was also the official start of holiday event season for me. My first event was a paint nite with friends. We gifted each other a painting. Below is the one I painted. It was gifted to my friend Cat. Yes, the bunnies are shaped like snowmen. They're aliens pretending to fit in on Earth during the holiday season, but don't quite have things right. The red balls were added after this.

The one I took home was painted by my friend Jennifer and it's metal AF.

Truthfully, I'm not much for the holiday season at all. If it were up to me, I would've stopped the whole gift thing many years ago. My brothers and I are all adults. I'm the youngest. None of us have children currently. Neither brother plans to. With the right person, I'm open to it.

I care more about spending quality time together and having tasty food than I do about getting gifts. I wish we could all just buy ourselves something(s) and skip the added stress at an already stressful time of year. Or perhaps just one gift each like in a Secret Santa would be a good middle ground.

This paint nite exchange was a wonderful idea and I think it was my friend Erika who mentioned it. She often has great ideas. Another one of hers was the recent spooky trip to Kingston.

The next evening was my work holiday party and I and some friends left by 10:00 PM. The music wasn't my kind of music and it was so loud that my throat was getting sore from trying to have conversations. It was even like that during dinner. But it was nice to chat with some colleagues anyway and get to know them a little better. One asked me a writerly question I'll make a separate post about soon. Perhaps I'll even try to get it placed somewhere.

ADHD Update

I definitely think we're on the right track with my current med, but I am getting the, "crash," as it reduces, which feels a bit stressful. It could be that I need a lighter pill later on in the day, but I'm trying meditation, exercise, and CBD for it. I generally feel like I need a break from things and people while it's happening to recalibrate myself. Oh, and I'm quite thirsty while playing sports, but I have a small camelback I may start wearing to handle that. I suspected this would happen given that I have Sjogren's plus the medication that is dehydrating.

Otherwise, I've been able to do a lot of normally very hard-for-me tasks this week. More on that in the new monthly goals section.

I feel like I'm almost used to my med. A friend takes a day or two off on the weekend with hers, but Concerta doesn't stay in my system in the way that hers does, so it doesn't work for me to do that.

Stress certainly makes me feel extra awful with it. Before, I could let a lot of things not get to me. Some things always did, but for others it was as if I walked about in an apathetic fog. I think I understand others a bit more because of this.

Curling

At GSL I learned I play better without my glasses. They're never in the right place for me to see things and they just distract me. Curling strategies have my head spinning. I really don't prefer to be a third or skip. They're more stressful for me. I quite like second, actually. I don't hate third, but the closer to the end of an end, the higher the stakes.
There was no Rainbow Rockers for me this week as our team has a bye. We have a number of days in a row coming up in January though, so it's good to have time for cross-training and catching up on other things. I was available to spare, but only if I was further ahead on my condo cleaning. I wasn't, and I really needed a break from all the stress I've had lately between work and my car.
I gladly had physio this week as I needed a specific exercise to help with the last bit of pain that happens during the overhead triceps and shoulder stretch and when I slide a rock around another. They are 40 lbs and even on ice, they can be pretty heavy. There's another spot by my ribs too that is lingering. We figured I probably hurt my tricep at the same time, but the rotator muscle was a bigger problem earlier on. I'll be doing a new exercise for the rock arranging strengthening and using a tennis ball or another piece of rolling equipment to help fix both sore spots. I'm looking forward to getting beyond this. 
Decluttering
I got rid of a well-used shelving unit I had no space for. My neighbour happily took it off my hands, which saved me from having to take it farther than the hallway. I moved several pieces of furniture around in my bedroom and put together this small shelf unit that is also a laundry hamper. Oddly perfect for my needs of a small bookshelf by my reading chair in my bedroom and lets me do more in the same space. 

One of my storage items was moved into my music room where I had the purged bookshelf. It's perfectly sized to where I moved it and I can't believe I didn't think of it before. Prior to my bedroom, I had it in my living room, but I didn't like it in there. But my main desk would have been in the way for it to be there now that I think of it. I need to go through all the cloth bins and likely purge some of what is in them, but I will do that later on.
My crafting desk is beside my main desk now, which makes the space flow much better. My curtain wall is behind both, separating my living room from my streaming space when I want to do that for work or Twitch.
Gaming
Diablo IV had me a bit freaked out this week. I thought I was already going to be battling Lilith. I'm only level 40. There are so many levels to go and a lot of the map to uncover yet. But I did complete the campaign for Act I, so I'll be doing a lot of side quests for a while. I do some of those off-stream or I'll never complete the game.
I've been making progress in Trove. There is a lot I still don't understand. Like it seems very difficult to get a Soul Tangle for the martial arts questing line. 
In January, my gaming stream will change to Mondays. I'll also be adding a Saturday crafting stream. This change is partly due to my having season tickets for PWHL. 
Kia Recall Saga Update
The week started with part I of the car recall saga. By the end of it, I had permission to park in visitors until further notice though I was waiting to find out if the board was going to sign off on this for the length of the wait to receive letter number two and have the work performed.
That answer was no.
My condo has directed me to park on the street until the repairs are done. This is causing me difficulties. I've sent a lot of emails and I can only hope that something good comes of one of them. This whole situation is stressful and there are at least 10 other Kia vehicles in our parking lot that shouldn't be parking in it if I can't be. I've made sure they know that I found ten with the lot half empty.
I won't be surprised if my car doesn't last the winter. Hell, I won't be surprised if it doesn't get me to my hometown at this point. I better be prepared in case I end up stuck there and need to work from there. That will piss me off though as I have things I want to get done before the new year. I may just be freaking out here. The horn isn't working currently. That could be a simple fix. It still doesn't sound like I'd like it to. It's a lot better, but not quite right. My dad will probably know what's up just from the sound of it and be able to help me do what is needed to make it healthier. I did read that Kia cars often don't last a decade, so I've been lucky in some ways with it.
Monthly Goals
I set goals regularly as part of Danielle Allard's Dino Community. I often lose track of them after I add them to the Accountability Squad spreadsheet, so I decided I would add this to my blog post in the hopes that I will keep track of it better. Like many other folks, December is a hectic month for me. Anyway, we try for one work related goal, one fitness one, and one relaxation one to keep it simple and less overwhelming. Here are mine:
1. Complete condo reorg and do my filing/paperwork.
2. Add core exercises 2-3 times per week and walks on non-curling days. Drink more water.
3. Make time for reading fiction every day for at least 30 minutes.
I'm aiming to get a lot of the condo stuff done before Tuesday the 12th as they will be testing my smoke detector that day. Yeah, that's tomorrow. I've moved the filing behind my curtain wall as there is no hope to get done in time for the smoke detector check. The rest involves my bedroom and my smoke detector is just inside the front door, so they don't need to go into my whole tiny condo unit.
Completed:
- removal of unneeded bookshelf- relocation of small storage unit- installation of new bookshelf/hamper combo unit
Outstanding
- filing- sporting equipment to my storage area- laundry catch up- ab bench relocation- install hanging light for reading area in bedroom
Of course, me being me, it's also December, which means I've been setting up all the things for a new schedule. 
Things will change again once softball starts, but I have a lot of the first half of 2024 planned. Some of this begins this week because I want to start setting a habit of doing many of these things at specific times of the day when my day isn't overloaded with other life things. Also, I think distracting myself with something I enjoy like piano will help with the whole stressful car situation.
Writing
I've done a little bit of my novel restructure and edits this week. It was more of a side effect of trying to figure out where I had left things in order to plan for the year to come, but it was still a bit of progress.
I also got a bit further on one of my screenplays. It's a horror comedy and I am quite enamoured by the concept, but damn is it hard to write a whole feature having been away from it so long. Things are generally supposed to happen at certain points during a film and one might think that would make it easier, but it really doesn't seem to help me. I suppose actually plotting it out might though.

The Whole Car Recall Saga - Part I

This year, my car has been a bit off. It was noisy during my road trip with friends in October, but it wasn't having any other symptoms. I had changed out the engine filter and the cabin filter because it sounded like it was straining a bit. That seemed to improve it, though didn't fully correct it.

Recently, the engine light turned on as it always does at this time of the year. Then it turned off again. It has never enjoyed the winter weather. The steering gets briefly tight and then it accepts winter and is fine.

Well, after turning itself off, it turned on again. I still wasn't worried because the weather had been up and down prior to the first snowstorm of the year.

But then I recently noticed a burning smell. It didn't smell like when the brakes get hot. It smelled more like burning plastic. It's never smelled like that before.

Anyway, I had the winter tires put on last week. On Saturday, I checked my mail and found a recall notice about a part that causes engine fires.

The letter stated that if either the engine light or the ABS light were on and you smelled burning, to have it towed to the dealership for repair. If it wasn't exhibiting those signs yet, you should still park it away from structures and other vehicles because it could have an engine compartment fire at any time.

So I did as instructed. Both the Roadside and Recalls reps recommended having it towed to the closest dealership to be fixed. Recalls said they would do a free diagnostic check on the car to verify that it is the fuses causing the symptoms. A tow truck was here by about 10AM.

One man at the service department at Kia 417 was not the best to deal with on this. The younger staff member was fine. The older one treated me like I must be an idiot because, "engine lights go on all the time," and "are you sure you know what burning smells like? " Gee thanks, older white dude. Thanks for treating me the exact way I expect to be treated as a female-presenting human at a garage.

What he doesn't know about me related to cars is that I've been around cars and garages for a large portion of my life. My dad is a retired expert mechanic who has worked on lawn machinery, buses, transport trucks, dumptrucks, construction equipment, and non-commercial transportation vehicles for around 50 years. He's probably forgotten more than that guy knows. And he's never treated a woman like she's dumb about car stuff. Actually, he spent a lot of time helping women out with their cars because of mechanics just like that guy and worse. He'd ask them questions to help narrow down the issue in a kind and useful way.

I felt like I had been duped or there was a huge disconnect between what the parent company is saying and the dealerships. They sent me home in an Uber to wait for the diagnostics check to be done after having me sign something saying I'll pay the $155 + tax fee if it turns out they don't find anything related to the recall.

I was not happy. This was not something said on the phone any of the times I called. I was told it would be 100% covered.

Another thing I was unhappy about?

They claimed their computer shows only some other recall is on my car related to some anti-corrosion coating for the underside of the vehicle. Well, when I put my VIN number into the Kia Recall site, it shows otherwise:

It doesn't show anything else for my car.

So I'm thinking I've been lied to multiple times and treated like I must be clueless. Sure makes me want to consider ever owning another Kia (sarc).

After checking out some forums, I've learned that some dealerships don't want to do these recall repairs because they don't make enough money on them. They will say they don't have the lower amperage fuses and the kit in stock that has labels and such. Apparently, they'd usually rather repair it than supply a loaner vehicle though.

In my opinion, if you are unwilling to do repairs relating to safety in a prompt timeline, you shouldn't have a dealership at all.

Later on Monday, my car was ready to be picked up. I had no clue what they meant by that because the parts aren't ready for the fiery recall, right? I request another Uber because how else did they think I would be getting back there?

So, the diagnostics revealed that my throttle body was plugged up. They cleaned it out, updated the computer, and cleared codes before doing a road test. They also did the other recall work. They only charged me the diagnostics fee. I made sure the rest of the staff new my issue, because I was quite vocal earlier on, was not with them. And I asked more questions about their computer systems.

Apparently, when a recall isn't ready to start yet and they are only in the notification stage, it won't show up in the records at the dealership. That's fine. It makes sense. But once it goes active, it's no longer attached to a VIN on the main Kia website. So if, like me, you happen not to get the letter informing you about it, you won't see that it exists and will miss bringing your car in. That's really really bad when there is a major safety issue happening!

One thing I'm still finding strange about this whole HECU recall thing for fuses is that my car is 11-years-old, so how hasn't it caught fire by this point? Like, shouldn't it have happened by now? The letter lists years 2012-2017. And judging by the forums linked above, they had one on newer models as well.

Anyway, I'm to just be careful where I park it for now, so I parked in visitors and asked my property management company what they want me to do until the repair happens.

2023 - Week 48

This week began roughly as I was still clearing the bad med from my system at the start of it, so I was quite tired. Overall, I was hopeful for better days ahead. 
ADHD Update
My biggest priority this week was to get my meds situation sorted out. On Saturday, I had left a message asking for an appointment with my psychiatrist. They called on Monday and booked me in for the afternoon. The new plan was to try a different stimulant type. Vyvanse is an amphetamine type, and that was very bad. Next up was Concerta, which is methylphenidate based like Ritalin, but lasts longer. I started it on Wednesday at the lowest dosage.
Early on, I felt like I was reasonably able to get back to my life. My head did feel a bit odd, but not like it did with Vyvanse. It was milder. It's normal to have some odd feelings up there as it helps fix the dopamine issue. I didn't want to get my hopes up though as I had felt OK very early on with Vyvanse.
Dose one had some of the same side effects, but at such a muted level in comparison. My mood was improved too, but also at a reasonable level. Rather than euphoria, I felt level. I also wasn't particularly hungry, but I didn't feel it to the degree that I felt it on Vyvanse, where I couldn't even recall what foods I like to eat. And I noticed I would get bursts of energy and focus rather than all or nothing, so it was a bit like a sine wave rather than the jagged peaks and valleys of a triangular one. My cognitive function was doing decent with it as well. I felt like I might just be able to get back to my goals and that was excellent.
By the end of the week, I was feeling really good about Concerta at the low dose I am on. I was having some dizziness, but not all that pronounced. And I was starting to eat more normally. I do notice when I'm feeling like I need a break from something and I wasn't noticing that soon enough before.
Crafting
Some work was done on my goth quilt. The other fat quarters I had ordered had come in during all the chaos of November, but I hadn't gotten further than washing them. I started and finished cutting off the selvage edges. 
After relearning how to make yarn balls with my ball maker, I'm ready to finish Lez Scarf. Years ago, my dumbass put my black yarn on a large wire spool and it was annoying and slow to knit with. I'm not sure what I'll knit next, but I reached out to a friend to find out who sells more natural fibre yarns in the Ottawa area. I brought my knitting to curling since I was there earlier than usual due to a car thing. More on that next week.
Curling
My physio appointment had to be postponed twice this week because my physiotherapist wasn't feeling well, so I just kept doing the strengthening exercises until our next appointment. Hopefully she didn't catch Covid. So many people have been lately.
At GSL, we played a game. We got three ends in. It should be 6 or more, but we usually only finish two.
This week was the beginning of Round 2 at Rainbow. I was able to get a ride from a league member there. I did some knitting while I watched the sheet I was playing on. I also checked to see how several friends were doing on their sheets. Our opponents forfeited, which has given us our first win. We made use of the ice time with a team practice and I think it was helpful to improve our communication.
Declutter
So far, I've added more things to the list than I've taken off, but I have been making progress. 
I have gathered clothing items that are way too big for me now for donation. I'm close to caught up on laundry and I've made progress on dishes. I'm also doing better at meals. I took Saturday off since the week was a lot with the med stuff and some work stress.
Gaming
My stream went smoothly and I opened up more of the initial map in Diablo IV. I played a bit more on Saturday. I'm trying to find more of the waypoints and I've been doing some of the side quests. I noticed a quirk in that if cross-play is off, you can't message friends. Well, you can, but you won't see their response in your game. It'll only be in the chat app. There should be an option that is like, "My friends are cool. I just don't want to share the world with a bunch of strangers because the lag is too ridiculous."
Lately, I've been playing Trove with some friends. It has some similarity to Minecraft, but it's a cute MMORPG dungeon crawler and it's free. It's also quite addictive.
Learning
A life thing I learned was that fridge light bulbs last more than 10 years and fridges don't look so good without light.
Of the three languages I'm dabbling in on Duolingo, French and Japanese were the most useful this week. Latin helps me understand French a bit better somehow. Perhaps it's just helping me get little things I wasn't before.
Reading/Watching
I'm not done it yet, but thoroughly enjoying The Chatelaine by Kate Heartfield, a local author. I love seeing how her career is progressing. It is a dark and queer tale from a historical fantasy lens: https://www.harpercollins.ca/9780008567859/the-chatelaine/
I watched Bottoms on Prime and it's hilarious. It was recommended to me by a friend who happens to be one of my former scriptwriting teachers that recently won a short film screenplay contest. He described it as, "teen lesbian fight club with the cult quality of Heathers," and I agree. Here is the trailer.
I also watched Gordon Ramsay's Shark Bait. I'm really thankful he made it though I was quite sad after seeing it. Hopefully, even more restaurants have stopped selling shark fin soup since 2011. I was especially sad to learn that they've been using small thresher sharks as bait for bigger sharks. Threshers are my favourite shark. They're smaller sharks and they flamboyantly stun their prey with a tail whip that is wonderfully resourceful.
Writing
When am I getting back to my writing? Your guess is as good as mine. Work is quite a bit right now as I put my first MSA in place and there is so much to get done before we have a period of not putting new contracts in place. And I'll soon be massively emailing purchase orders out to my sites and the suppliers that service them on top of the regular work. Knowing all that, I'm preferring to rest when I can and do the things I need to around my home. I've been taking lots of notes as I think up tweaks though. I'm often thinking about ways to improve certain scenes. I also think a lot about whether or not to foreshadow and where to do so along with whether or not to have easter eggs for the rest of the series. Yeah, there's a lot going on in my head all the time.

The PWHL

I've gotten my season tickets for the inaugural season of the Professional Women's Hockey League. I had put my deposit down as soon as it was open. Am I a hockey superfan? No. I enjoy hockey. I started watching it quite a lot during my divorce. I also used to practice my slapshot against the foundation of our house when I was an angst-filled teen. I care about women in sport having amazing opportunities like this.
Anyway, some people in the comments section on the posts are truly something.
The league posted the schedule, which was more of a calendar without time blocks listed. They happened to post that on the day that priority purchasing was opened for the season tickets. 
So then there are a bunch of people who didn't put deposits down that were complaining they can't buy tickets yet. Makes total sense 😒
And then there were a bunch of other people complaining that nothing has been announced on the streaming and televisation of the games. Some were even suggesting that they go with some little local channels in their specific cities.
It's clear to me that some people don't know how broadcast things work.
First of all, the league is probably currently in final negotiations with networks that have national reach like CBC in Canada. They could be talking to Sportsnet, ESPN, etc. It's also possible that the game times will be set up at a different time than the NHL is on, so they aren't in direct competition for viewership. And since a lot of TV schedules were initially set in the fall, they may have to accept some less ideal play times because it's all happening so fast.
I'm guessing on the schedule elements using my background in business, project management, screenwriting, and procurement. I'm also using what I've learned as a recreational athlete from roller derby, softball, and curling.
Anyway, freaking out at them and claiming they are doomed to fail because you haven't heard about streaming isn't helpful or kind. It won't make it happen faster either. It may be worth noting that the majority of people saying things like this belong to a certain subset of a demographic that may not handle seeing strong women playing hockey anyway.
I can also see the league solidifying ticket sales for non priority season ticket purchases and individual ticket sales before streaming is fully in place or announced. Acting like people don't want to be physically at games is idiotic. Viewing options for people who can't physically go are important, but it's one piece of a much larger picture.
Also, most people are abundantly aware that this first season is critical to having many more seasons. 
Other things they complain about include that final team names haven't been announced and not knowing what the plan is for playoffs. The initial team names were quite terrible. A lot of people are hoping they aren't the actual team names. I'm one of them. And on playoffs, the regular season is currently slated to go to early May. How about you give them a moment? Do you have your entire year planned out already? 
As far as I know, the teams still have a bit of recruiting left to fill out their lines. There are a lot of parts that are moving into place every day. And it's not like things immediately go to social media the moment they happen. The messages get crafted and have to be finalized and approved at pretty much every large organization that exists on this planet before being posted.
I'm excited to watch phenomenal female athletes do the one thing they are super passionate about for an international audience. I'm looking forward to figuring out who my player will be. Currently, based on music taste and a funny nickname, it may be Lexie, but I need to see her play to be sure. 
I didn't know so much was going on in women's hockey prior to the league being announced, so I'm late to the party and playing catch up. I think that no matter how it goes, it will be wonderful for women and girls to see this part of sports history. How many little girls will become professional athletes after this? How many women will learn that they are stronger than they previously thought? What an incredible time to be alive!

2023 - Week 47

I'm going back to a more organized topic-based post style as I'm sure some readers don't care about my curling adventures or my gaming or whatever.

ADHD Update

I lost 11 lbs in 18 days because the appetite loss thing with my meds made me entirely forget to eat lunch on most days. I figured it wasn't entirely terrible on my low activity days. If I felt light-headed, I took that as a sign that I probably needed a snack. I grazed most of the day until the evening when I actually got hungry. This can be normal with ADHD meds for the first month, so I wasn't too worried about it. {I should've been worried about it}

Overall, my mood was improved. I'm pretty sure the last couple years of dealing with untreated ADHD coupled with having to fill multiple roles at work had me burned out. It's no wonder I couldn't create much or complete some of my other goals. 

Some days, my meds made me quite sleepy and a nap was just the thing. Yeah, maybe it's weird to some that I can nap on a stimulant, but that's actually a common ADHD thing as it calms the beehive* that is my regular brain experience. 

My ability to plan things was better, but not execution. Execution at work was OK, but not anywhere else.

I had some of the dangerous "stop taking this immediately" side effects on Vyvanse, including hallucinations, so I am currently waiting to get on a different med. I have an upcoming Monday afternoon appointment.

I can absolutely see how people get addicted to substances after being on it though. Despite feeling ill on it, it was also giving me euphoria. Physically, I felt like I was declining, but mentally and emotionally, I felt great for quite a while until I felt like I was becoming dumber.

It's important to note that not everyone reacts like this to the meds and there are a lot of different med options. I'm not a fan of people shaming others for choosing to use them or not use them.

Curling

On Tuesday, all I really wanted to do was my test throws to figure out if I could play on the weekend. My physiotherapist cleared me for both and gave me some strengthening exercises to ensure I would be ready for the game. The resistance band smelled like rubber with a hint of candy, which is . . . interesting. I was worried I would be behind the class at GSL from the time off. I got there safely despite the bad weather and I went easy on the sweeping. I snuck my curling rock in behind those of the other team. It was a beauty of a shot. Unfortunately, the other team put one right in front of it and then my last shot was too light to get points. No one stayed late to chat as we didn't know if the freezing rain would worsen. Sleep is extra important when healing anyway.

Sunday's game was in my least favourite timeslot, but I looked forward to it anyway. It was a nail biter as both of our teams were evenly matched. We ended up tying 4-4.

Something neat at the club this week was a trophy that was recently won:

Decluttering

On the slow days, I was able to write up that list of things I need to do around my condo. There is quite a lot on there. I had originally intended to get to it right when I got home on Monday, but I was quite tired. Thursday's plan was to get a few things done around the house including making sure my area looked good for a work Pride trivia event I presented on Friday afternoon. Between work, life, socializing, and the whole bad med thing, I didn't get far on my list.

Gaming

I made it further in Diablo IV with my Barbarian. I only died a couple of times. I'm hot on Lilith's heels, but I decided to try and finish everything that is Act I to level up more and ensure I don't miss the side quest content. I know in previous versions, I couldn't go back and I don't want to confirm that the hard way. I don't know what I'll stream after it, but maybe something brighter and happier. I'm getting way ahead of myself as I often do since I'm level 33/100 ;)

I happily joined a one shot for Pathfinder on the weekend. It had been ages since I last did tabletop RPG because every opportunity over the last decade fell through. Often it was a case of adult schedules not aligning, but one attempt had far more issues that made it impossible to get going. I forgot how fun role-playing can be! We all made it out alive. Surprisingly. Hopefully, we'll do it again sometime. My character is a Jinxed Tengu Oracle. Healer classes are OK for me in tabletop games but terrible in video games. People die far more in video games if I'm the healer. I don't have the attention span needed for long raids.

Health & Wellness

After work on Wednesday, I learned that my hometown neighbour died of a heart attack from shoveling snow! I've since read that men 45 and older shouldn't be shoveling. Pushing snow with a scoop is far less taxing on the heart than throwing it overhead. It's also important to warm up before and have water nearby to stay hydrated. Having a machine is great, but some people do die using one because pushing it is exercise too. And exercising in the cold is part of what kills people. It also leads to more injuries like muscle tears. The other reason why people die shoveling snow is that after 45, the likelihood of an underlying heart issue has increased. Slower is better if you have to remove snow manually. {End PSA}

2SLGBTQIA+

For quite some time, I've been working on a trivia presentation at work as part of the Pride Committee. It was initially given to me as a Jeopardy slideshow, but we couldn't get it to function like Jeopardy should. So I pivoted and turned it into a more regular PowerPoint, added photos and transitions to up the fun level, and my colleague made a JotForm to gather responses for the gift card we gave away.

And I figured, why not add more gay to my day, so I went to the Lez Go Billiards event in the evening to catch up with my non-sporty lesbian friends. I vastly prefer these to the dances because I can actually chat with people and I prefer metal, punk, rock, blues, and jazz to hip hop and pop. It's lucky that I went as there was a helpful woman there who assured me that I was not having normal side effects to my ADHD meds. Who knows how much worse it would've gotten otherwise?

Music

I enjoyed my friend's monthly studio stream this week. It's always interesting to be a fly on the wall and hear the different choices made by her producer as they work on her albums. I'm itching to get a specific midi keyboard. It wasn't on sale for Black Friday, so I'm being good and holding off for now. I'll have enough saved for it soon, but I may wait to see if I have gift cards after Christmas to put towards it. I like my little Akai, but it really is small to properly learn with. The one I want also has shorter keys with a natural response like a piano to cover dynamics. My plan is to get more into practicing in the winter months after getting a lot of my condo cleanup done.

*Credit to Connor DeWolfe for that analogy.

2023 - Week 46

Monday was a floater holiday for me. I take this one every year in the hopes that I will get some writing done on whatever I'm working on for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I also had some errands to do. I visited a friend to get my documents sorted for my passport (again). Yeah, an unfortunate moment, where a signature box was missed, had me have to resend part of the application. I was quite embarrassed about this. I'm so very thankful I have awesome friends. If you're into house music and such, check out DJ Little Fever on Twitch because he's an awesome human I've known for 25 years. Yeah, we had to do the math. He also does irl gigs. After my errands, I tried to write, but I was falling asleep, so I headed for a nap. I've been a bit tired since I updated my vaccines and then injured myself. Unfortunately, late Monday evening I learned about a scandal involving NaNoWriMo and children, so I have since deleted my account. Several other friends have as well.

Tuesday morning was early morning physio. I wasn't healed enough to play, so I shadowed at GSL Curling to continue learning what I could. I took some notes along the way and learned a bit more about shots that make sense. My feet and hands were quite cold from the inactivity. The rest of me was OK because early on I went back for my winter coat. The rink is usually around +4 Celsius, but it gets chilly when we're learning as play stops often to explain things. My peers got to playing the two-end game sooner, which is good because the later we're on the ice, the more tired and accident prone we are and the trainers recognized that after last week.

On Wednesday, I was let out of a weekly meeting I've had since 2018. It'll be a bit odd to not have it after having it for so long, but given that I need to sleep in a bit for two curling seasons since GSL goes so late, this will be a good change.

Something that I've noticed since I quit NaNoWriMo? I'm writing more. And I'm spending more time to properly tell each story in my anthology because I don't have a ridiculous deadline that I haven't been able to meet since 2014. For me, I don't think it was ever the best thing. When one is spending so much time just trying to bang out any words, the amount of editing to fix it later is tremendous. I think it's far better for me to have a regular daily word goal that is achievable. My days are often too busy to get 2000 words into a project, but that doesn't mean I can't aim for 500. Five hundred daily words adds up to 182,500 on a regular year and 183,000 on a leap year. That's two novels and a full length screenplay, which is pretty good while working full time and enjoying activities, friends, and family.

I made a tough choice this week. That was to reduce how much time I spend in one friend's Twitch channel. I figured out I was spending at least 13 hours a week between their channel and other events related to it. I sincerely love them, but I need time to achieve my own goals. I now have 3-6 hours penciled into my calendar and they depend on what other activity is happening. It feels much more reasonable and healthy. I need to remind myself that it's good to have whitespace in my calendar!

Don't ask how much time I spend watching reels of cute doggos, baby animals, or sharks. I have no idea. It's probably a lot. I do that instead of doom scrolling as I find it a lot more mentally healthy. It's a good dopamine boost too ;)

A week into my ADHD meds and I'm definitely experiencing the appetite loss. I'd be worried about it, but it's not as if I don't have a few pounds to spare. I'm finding the easiest thing to do is to have some reasonably healthy easy meals around like a high fibre cereal, whole grain English muffins, hummus, canned soups, Kind bars, tortilla chips, hard-boiled eggs, and salsa. Anyway, eating has been a struggle since starting the meds for sure. I've read the appetite loss will reduce once I've been on it for a month. I haven't figured out if the dosage is right or not. I'd definitely be getting a lot more done if I wasn't injured, so maybe?

Physio is going well, but I miss curling so much. I get to try throwing some stones  at GSL on Tuesday. I hope I will be ready. I have physio that morning, so I'll have a better idea then. I probably shouldn't play in the last RR game of this round to be sure I'm good for the rest of the season, but it all depends how I feel.

I sorted my passport stuff out on Wednesday before my Twitch stream. I'm surprised I like the Barbarian class in Diablo IV as much as I am. I think it's because I die so much less often. I may yet complete the game now that I've finally chosen a class. I'm still testing out the sorcerer since I had gear lying around for it in my stash. 

Thursday was a gauntlet of a day at work. I had meetings all morning. But I also got all my projects moving thanks to a helpful colleague, so that was good. In the evening I visited my friends again as I had forgotten something at their house. I haven't done that kind of thing in a while. I finally got to give her birthday gift to her. I also got to spend some quality time with their kiddos.

On Friday, I learned that I am getting my first Twitch payout! I'm so happy about this. Also, I had very little pain left and my muscles were quite a bit stronger. On Tuesday, I was scared to touch a rock at all, but by Friday I felt like I will be ready to throw on the 21st. Sweeping may need a bit more, but I'm not sure. 

Saturday was a rare, completely unbooked day for me. I thought about getting my hair cut after playing some Minecraft, but I decided I can go a bit longer. It's getting too long to spike, but it's not really the weather for that anymore anyway. I moved some small shelving units around, which may have been a dumb idea because my shoulder hurt after, but it wasn't the muscle that I hurt. Hopefully, it's just from lack of use. I can't really convey how annoying it is to finally have the energy and focus to get all my stuff in order at home and then not be physically able to because of an injury. I guess I can make some step-by-step lists for later though. I retrieved some packages and did groceries before gaming with friends.

Sunday, I watched my team curl without me. The game was close at moments. I n case it wasn't clear in the rest of this blog post, I want to get back to it so badly! Hopefully, I'll be able to this coming week, but the physiotherapist had said it's often 4-6 weeks. A lot of people don't actually do the exercises and I have been, so I'm hoping that makes a difference.

Eleven Years

Image by Larisa Koshkina from Pixabay.

Eleven years ago I made a tough decision and got out of a bad situation. Five months later, I moved to Ottawa and began rediscovering myself. The following November, I began writing the first novel of a series. I'm still editing that novel, but in that time I:

- Attained a blue belt level in karate
- Bought a condo.
- Got my full G license.
- Played a season of roller derby on a championship house level team.
- Got to Nidan level in Iaido.
- Got to Ikkyu level in Jodo.
- Won 2 bronze medals in Iaido tournaments.
- Had some short stories published by small presses.
- Was restructured out of the job I had moved to Ottawa for.
- Returned to school for Scriptwriting.
- Tried some other martial arts.
- Attempted piano lessons with several instructors.
- Got into guitar and ukulele for a bit.
- Reached a semi-final level in a screenplay contest.
- Got a new job with a wonderful team of people.
- Had a number of relationships.
- Survived the pandemic.
- Survived the never-ending bathroom reno.
- Had my "gay awakening."
- Lost my mother.
- Found two sports I enjoy
- Made a lot of memories with friends.
- Read a lot of books.
- Crafted a lot of things.

So yeah, I might not have that novel quite ready for readers yet, but I found my way back to myself and I think that means more than any one goal.

I'm not where I want to be yet on some things, but I'm heading in the right direction.

2023 - Week 45

Was this the beginning of another full week? That has been the trend. At the start of the week, I had mainly curling on tap along with my usual biweekly meet up with my non-theistic congregation.

Monday, I lost some time waiting to get my ADHD meds. The doctor had told me he would send the prescription to my pharmacy and I'd be able to get them first thing in the morning. Remember that old saying where if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is? Well, somewhere between the pharmacy and the doctor's office, the prescription didn't arrive. That had me leaving a message with the doctor's office, later explaining that it's my first rather than a refill, and the staff resending it to the pharmacy. When I initially tried calling the pharmacy an hour or so later, there was no answer. So I tried again two hours later. Then I got through and I was able to pick them up after work. It's a good thing I had gotten some groceries in the morning including some Red Bull to help me survive the work day.

On Tuesday, I was able to take my first dose. I thought it would be too early to tell if it was doing anything or if I just had some extra dopamine from the excitement of finally getting help for the thing I've long suspected was plagueing me. Well, my work inbox was mostly cleared early in the day and I could do little organizational things to improve my workflow. This is something I used to do quite naturally prior to getting off of these meds over a decade ago. I actually enjoy organizing when I'm not overwhelmed by my ADHD. And I have been overwhelmed for a long time with it. Yes, there are a lot of aspects of ADHD that are managed well with diet, exercise, and CBT, but for me, home chores and staying organized are not good without the meds. I think I'm also weak in that area because my mom was never good at it and the other modeling I had around it was extreme on the other side, so I don't really have a good idea what is normal and reasonable there. It's a thing I'm working on getting better at. With all of that, I haven't been trying to seriously date in a while as I want my home cleaner and cozier before I have someone over.

The evening held GSL curling and I was excited to see what we would be learning. We are slowly doing more game time vs skills practice. In the winter, we are supposed to be doing just games with our teachers there still helping us understand scenarios and strategy.

Well, curling mostly went well. My sliding stance has vastly improved. Near the end of the night, I slipped as I came out of the hack (those feet things we push off from) and my shoulder got messed up. I didn't know how long I'd be unable to play for. Come Wednesday, it hurt to raise my arm overhead and it hurt to stretch it out in front of me. Even just moving over to use a mouse hurt. And my neck wasn't feeling the best either. Aleve and rest helped some, but I was sure I shouldn't play on the weekend and proceeded to try and line up physio and spares.

Since I was broken, I spent some extra time doing Duolingo. I realized that I wasn't enjoying Scottish Gaelic and switched to Latin. I'm also working on Japanese for fun and French for future work options. I've gone the furthest in French. I figure Latin may not be fun, but just a couple of lessons has me seeing connections with other languages. As an example, dormit means sleeping in both French and Latin, but they are pronounced differently and Latin doesn't seem to conjugate so much. So dormit also means sleeps in another context.

After work on Wednesday, I enjoyed playing Diablo IV. It was an OK activity despite the pain I was in. It brought some relief in the form of distraction.

On Thursday, I began physio. I was pretty sore and tired, so I didn't end up getting out to see my friend's band play at House of Targ like originally planned. The weather was shit anyway and I was super behind on NaNoWriMo. I didn't catch up, but I really enjoyed writing one of the stories I'm working on.

I got my work done in the morning on Friday and spent lunch hour working on my burrs-all-over-my-felt-coat problem. I got a lot of them out by soaking them in hot water and using gloves and a fine tooth comb. I washed it to get a little more out and then it was all tweezers from there. I did try duct tape before the tweezers, but it was not helpful. Never wear a felt coat on a trail walk because it just might turn into a hike in the woods. That's my lesson learned. I did get waterproof socks for the future. Yeah, also don't wear breathable running shoes. I think those need a second wash. 

On Saturday, I was hoping to have my felt coat ready to use, but I was too sore and decided it was silly to push it. I was just going to watch my team curl anyway. The score was 8-3 for the other team. I didn't get a lot of writing done. I needed a break from everything and played some Minecraft in the evening instead.

Sunday's plan was to retrieve some packages that had come in and go watch my team play again. Later on, I felt like a nap was more important because I could get the packages the following day. I was able to lift my arm much more. I had a beer while I watched my team play and some of the others. We lost, but I got to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen in a bit and that was nice.