Dylan Callens's Blog: The Silent Guardian, page 16

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Snow White as the cocaine queen? Hansel and Gretel abducted by aliens? And since when is Red’s granny into cosplay?

Modern mayhem claws its way into nine classic once upon a times. The result: Twisted Fairy Tales. In these nine short stories, don’t expect an innocent Cinderella or a sober Red Riding Hood. As for Pinocchio, the truth about what really grows when he lies is revealed. From Sergeant Wolf in “Three Little Pigs” to Chanse Gex in “The Ugly Duckling”, these fairy tales will hint at...

Sesame Street vs. Robot Chicken vs. Jacques Derrida

Whether the creators of Robot Chicken, Seth Green and Matthew Senreich, know it or not, their show is a fascinating demonstration of Jacques Derrida’s philosophical theory of deconstruction. For those that haven’t seen the show, and I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t have yet, Robot Chicken is a stop motion comedy sketch that reduces pop culture to its (ahem) finest elements.

Sesame Street vs. Robot Chicken vs. Jacques Derrida

Whether the creators of Robot Chicken, Seth Green and Matthew Senreich, know it or not, their show is a fascinating demonstration of Jacques Derrida’s philosophical theory of deconstruction. For those that haven’t seen the show, and I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t have yet, Robot Chicken is a stop motion comedy sketch that reduces pop culture to its (ahem) finest elements.

Attempting to Understand the "New" Language

Your kids talk. The words sound like English but nothing makes sense. I know because I’m in the same boat. So, allow me to share what I have learned with you. One of my kids eli5’d these terms to me. It’s interesting boots.

ELI5 – Explain like I’m five. When a discussion is too difficult to follow and you want an easy-to-understand explanation, you can say eli5. From what I was told, this is popular on forums but it hasn’t reached mainstream conversation, yet. If your teen spends some time on...

7 - The Julian Calendar

Start at part one by clicking here!

May 9, 2026

A cold breeze smacked Joan sharply in the face as she sat on top of the building, next to a bricked exterior which housed the heating exhaust. She could see the Victory Day Parade on the streets of Moscow below her, where the military procession endlessly marched into her view momentarily before being interrupted by the roof’s ledge. She also noted the beautiful copulas that capped some of the Kremlin’s towers. She waited, sure to not make a sou...

Pinocchio

First off, let’s set a couple things straight: A) Geppetto was weird. On a scale from Jim Carey to Marilyn Manson, he was a Charlie Sheen, and B) There are no talking crickets in this story. A talking puppet is creepy enough.

One day, Geppetto was given a lump of wood from a carpenter who didn’t like the way that the log mumbled at him. Mumbling wood was bad for business, figured the carpenter. Since Geppetto could barely afford wood for his toys, he was very grateful. After examining it, he...

Making the Trailer - Part 3

After the images were created, it was time to start animating and compositing. Because we were working primarily with .png images, we were limited in movement. Since the style that we chose had the characters move as marionettes, this wasn't so bad. We also decided that in the interest of time and complexity, we'd shoot the characters from the waist up so that we didn't have to worry about leg movement and walk cycles. Walk cycles are a huge pain in the ass.

I'm lucky in that where I work, we...

The Weight of the Situation

I find weights to be a funny thing. Sometimes they feel heavy, sometimes they don't. Sometimes the act of weightlifting can take your breath away, while other times, it just makes my muscles sore. I suppose it all depends on the day, the nutrition being processed, the amount of sleep, and probably even mood.

I've followed a couple of different programs over the years, starting with P90X. I'm a huge fan of the first P90X. I think there is a benefit to the fast pace that Tony Horton insists on...

Making the Trailer - Part 2

Now, as you can see from my sketch of Nietzsche, I am not very good at drawing. In fact, the frame on the right is a closeup of Nietzsche's mouth with a mustache over top. It is not, as everyone thought, a banana with a squiggly line over top. This is why I needed someone to draw the scenes out for me!

Despite the fact that it looks terrible, there is quite a bit of information on the sheet that is important. Aside from the sketch, there is a short description of the scene, type of shot, cam...

Making the Trailer - Part 1

While I wait for the last drawing that I need to finish my book trailer, I figured that I would talk a little bit about the process. I wanted to create a book trailer that looks nearly professional. I knew from the beginning that there were going to be certain elements that can't be done without professional equipment but I also knew that if I took the time to do it properly, then it would be close.

The biggest problem is that I can't draw. Period. I needed someone that could do the drawings...