Jen Lancaster's Blog, page 24

What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Stronger, Turkey Burger

I'm not dead from food poisoning, although for the better part of the last twenty-four hours it was touch and go. And by touch and go, I mean unpleasant things happened and I did not enjoy them. A little note to self here? The next time I get a turkey burger and it tastes like ass, I should think: "Hey, this turkey burger tastes like ass. Perhaps I should stop eating it." Instead of: "Hey, this turkey burger tastes like ass. Perhaps that's how it's supposed to taste and I should add salt and ...

Scorsese Strikes Again

Today I performed canine intelligence tests for your viewing pleasure. First up... Maisy! Will she be smart enough for Princeton? Watch and find out! Next up, Loki! Explode! Explode! Sigh. Looks like the University of Illinois for you, dogs.

Such A Pretty Stalker

In the past week, I've given various people the impression that I was: A) a pickpocket and B) a stalker The pickpocket thing was totally not my fault. I was at Home Depot because I wanted to get some small, dog pee-resistant shrubs for the front yard. And YES, I know this house is a rental and that I'm moving out of here at the end of the summer, but my compulsion to garden is not to be reasoned with and if it tells me I need shrubs, then lease be damned, I need shrubs. We get to the Depot an...

Business Then Pleasure

First, a quick reminder of where I'll be on tour starting in less than three weeks: May 4 - Atlanta, B&N Buckhead May 5 - Birmingham, B&N Summit Blvd May 6 - Houston, Borders Kirby St. May 7 - Dallas - B&N Northwest Highway May 11 - Detroit, Borders Birmingham May 12 - Dayton, Books & Co. May 13 - St. Louis, Mad Art Gallery (a Left Bank Books event) May 14 - Chicago, Borders Michigan Ave May 18 - Philadelphia, B&N Walnut St. May 19 - NYC, B&N Union Square May 20 - DC, B&N 12th St. NW May 21 -...

The Ego Has Landed

Occasionally I'll be at one of my usual haunts - Target, the cheap vegetable market, Whole Foods - and someone will recognize me. Honestly? This delights me every single time. I mean, I'm not going to lie: I have an ego. It's a little thrilling when people come up to tell me they like what I do. And maybe that's vain or proud, but it's the truth. Fortunately, the universe has a way of keeping my fat head in check as I never meet anyone when I look cute. No one ever sees me after I've hot roll...

Sex, Lies, Videotape... And Apparently, Cheetos

So, my new book video for My Fair Lazy is up. I'm going to embed it in this post but I feel like I need to offer a few caveats first. Upon watching this thing for the first time, I sent my publicist an email stating, "I need to call a trainer, an aesthetician, and whomever's working the counter at Bobbi Brown right-freaking-now." I can't tell you what I thought the second time because I can't bear to look at it again. The video itself is very well done and I'm far less stammer-y and sweaty th...

Worst Intervention Ever - UPDATED

Yesterday emails bounced back and forth between my group of close girlfriends. In the course of coordinating lunches and general catching up, my pal Gina mentioned that she just spotted the Thundercats' mom. (Gina's the one who originally rescued the Thundercats. Apparently Chuck Norris, Gus, and Odin's mother is the epitome of alley cat and gets pregnant around this time every year.) Gina described how she's been trying to catch her so she can take her to the vet and be spayed before moving ...

Worst Intervention Ever

Yesterday emails bounced back and forth between my group of close girlfriends. In the course of coordinating lunches and general catching up, my pal Gina mentioned that she just spotted the Thundercats' mom. (Gina's the one who originally rescued the Thundercats. Apparently Chuck Norris, Gus, and Odin's mom is the epitome of alley cat and gets pregnant around this time every year.) Gina described how she's been trying to catch her so she can take her to the vet and be spayed before moving on ...

In Case There Was Any Doubt...

... this is why we're jerks. jen @ home: Just read on the crime blotter that two guys in the neighborhood were arguing and a third guy came up and stabbed one of them in the thigh. And I couldn't help but wonder, 'Hey, what's Agent Jack Bauer doing in Logan Square?' fletch @ work: What about this part? 'One man is in critical condition after being stabbed in the chest at Illinois Masonic.' I knew it wasn't a great hospital, but now they stab people there? jen @ home: Sometimes stabbing is fun...

Alert The Presses! Oh, Wait...

Yay! My Chicago Tribune column has been posted! Am not yet sure when or how it gets to other papers, but I know it's right here right now: Don't Blame Mii, Japan Hope you dig it!