Such A Pretty Stalker

In the past week, I've given various people the impression that I was: A) a pickpocket and B) a stalker The pickpocket thing was totally not my fault. I was at Home Depot because I wanted to get some small, dog pee-resistant shrubs for the front yard. And YES, I know this house is a rental and that I'm moving out of here at the end of the summer, but my compulsion to garden is not to be reasoned with and if it tells me I need shrubs, then lease be damned, I need shrubs. We get to the Depot an...