Jen Lancaster's Blog, page 27

Dis This

Dear Neighborhood Thugs, Just so you know, flashing gang signs while wearing mittens makes you come across as less of "a stone cold killer" and more like "a sock-puppet performance artist." Please consider investing in a pair of gloves or waiting until spring to represent. Best, Jen

Suspect This Will Answer That Whole East Coast/West Coast Question

Okay, before I post the 2010 My Fair Lazy tour cities, I want to thank you for letting me know where you wanted me to visit. Your input was definitely considered in making these decisions and I personally read/recorded every single one of the 3,200 entries. In choosing tour cities, my publisher's publicity team had to consider a number of aspects, such as space, logistics, other authors' tours, regional sales, fairness, timing, etc. so when you see the following stops, please understand they ...

Hey... Someone Just Figured Out Her iPhone!

So, yesterday I figured out how to take video on my phone and this morning I learned how to post it. I'm just like Martin Scorsese! (Only fatter.) Seriously, I'm already one step ahead of where I was with our video camera in terms of understanding the (relatively simple) technology. I imagine I'd have eventually figured out how to get them thar movin' pichures from the camera to the computer but our ex-cleaning ladies were kind enough to take it off my hands before I ever got the chance. (An ...

Get Your Meat On

I've reached the short lull in the life cycle of the new book (My Fair Lazy, due out May 4) so I'm using this time to do nice stuff around the house for Fletch. He got pretty tired of the delivery I insisted on every night while on deadline, so I'm making a concerted effort to cook meals he'll enjoy. (Yes, fine, we had tacos delivered one night last week, but Maisy was sick and I had to cook her poached chicken and basmati rice and I was not about to make dinner twice.) Anyway, this has becom...

Move Over, Tucker Max (NOW UPDATED WITH ACTUAL PUBLISHING ADVICE)

You know what? I try really hard not to be an asshole. Seriously, I do. I realize it's difficult to tell around here sometimes, but it's the truth. Yet sometimes... I... I just can't help myself. Today is one of those days. Following you'll find an email from Shelly. She sent me a number of questions which may have been appropriate if I were being interviewed by, say, a fifteen year old for her high school newspaper. But from what I can tell, this comes from someone who doesn't comprehend tha...

Move Over, Tucker Max

You know what? I try really hard not to be an asshole. Seriously, I do. I realize it's hard to tell around here sometimes, but it's the truth. But sometimes... I... I just can't help myself. Today is one of those days. Following you'll find an email from Shelly. She sent me a number of questions which may have been appropriate if I were being interviewed by, say, a fifteen year old for her high school newspaper. But from what I can tell, this comes from someone who doesn't comprehend that one...

2010 (By Way Of 1962)

The very best summation of the new year comes from my friend Caprice Crane via Twitter on January 1st: "So Chris Cornell tweeted that Soundgarden's getting back together. There. One day of 2010 kicked all of 2009's ass." By the way, if you're local, Caprice is doing a reading/signing here in a couple of weeks! She'll be at The Book Cellar on Saturday, January 16th at 7:00 PM. She'll be talking about her book Family Affair, a funny, funny story about a divorcee suing for custody of her in-laws...

The Kindle Is Not The Devil

At least not in my opinion. Have a safe and happy New Year and I'll be back next week!

Show And Tell And Barf

Seems like being a teacher this time of year, particularly if you teach grade school, would be an enormous pain in the ass. I can't imagine trying to interest and engage a pack of attention-deficit-disordered second graders hopped up on Christmas cookies and Ritalin mere days before vacation and Santa's arrival. I guarantee you people are not paid enough. However, if you've been teaching for any amount of time, you probably have coping strategies. My guess is now is not the time of year to te...

Leftovers

The polls are now closed. Thanks for your 3,234 tour city suggestions!! I love that you guys are excited! (However, I'm a tad less excited about counting and tabulating said results. I suddenly wish I hadn't been too lazy to fill out the DePaul University paperwork last spring, as this is a job with UNPAID INTERN RECEIVING CLASS CREDIT written all over it.) Anyway, this time of year is normally what I like to call The Holiday Drinking Season. Generally I'm done with all my new-book work by Th...