Jen Lancaster's Blog, page 28

Hey, Philly? I'm Talking To You

Remember last year when I asked everyone to vote on where I should go for my book tour? And some cities got all complacent because I'd been there before and those residents didn't think they had to vote? And since they didn't vote, I didn't come? Same thing goes for this year. We're starting to plan the tour for My Fair Lazy and we need to get an idea of which cites are most popular. Please do me a proper and leave a brief comment with the name of the place you'd like me to go so we can get a...

Swing And A Miss

Here's another unsuccessful attempt at something: There's been so much speculation in the last few weeks about Tiger Woods: "What really happened the night of his accident?" "Did the pressure of being in the spotlight cause him to crack?" "Will his personal peccadilloes affect his ability to hit the long ball?" Sportscasters and pundits alike ponder the moral and ethical ramifications of Tiger stepping outside the bounds of his marriage. Tabloids explore the seamier side of the issue, gleeful...

A Quick Essay Having To Do With Nothing

Here's a little sample of a project I've been busy with lately. Ultimately, this piece wasn't successful but I still think it's decent enough to share. I'm not normally one for conspiracy theories. I mean, I don't doubt the Apollo mission was real. When Neil Armstrong took one giant leap for mankind, I'm convinced he did so on the moon and not a soundstage in West Hollywood. I believe Elvis is neither alive, well, nor patronizing a Burger King in Michigan. I'm pretty sure most UFO sightings s...

Taylor, Show Me On The Doll Where The Bad Cougar Touched You

(Caveat: Yes, this is another Twilight post, and no, I'm not going to bust out the action figures.) (Should you have already tired of my obsession, you might want to stop reading here.) (Also, I've gotten a lot of shit from people about digging the series, but come on! Worldwide, Stephenie Meyer has sold EIGHTY-FIVE MILLION BOOKS. As an author, how do I not get behind that enterprise?) I'm finally finished with my edits, so I celebrated by seeing a New Moon matinee. I'm fairly pressed for tim...

Never Bring A (Carving) Knife To A Gun Fight

Because I'm busy finishing edits, Fletch has totally picked up the slack in regard to Thanksgiving planning. With help from our friend Stacey, he's got all the recipes organized, he's already ordered groceries, he's purchased all the additional dinnerware, and he's in the midst of tweaking the time/action plan for the day of the festivities. I'm really grateful at how detail-oriented he is. He even made a list of all the tasks he's going to take care of on his own. Dinner's at 6:00 sharp. (No...

A LOL In The Editing Process

Busy editing, so few words to spare. But maybe you'll enjoy some photos? Have a safe and happy Caturday!

New New Moon

Setting: Our kitchen, last night. I'm accidentally burning the steaks while Fletch goes around opening windows to let the smoke escape. Fletch: So, are you ready for Friday? You have everything together? Me: Yeah, I guess. I don't really know what I have to get together, though. I think I just need to show up, right? Maybe get some popcorn and milk duds? Fletch: We'll need any new receipts you have for fourth quarter. Me: Why the hell would I need receipts to see the very first showing of New...

Getting Ready To Cupcake Up, Bitches!

Or possibly not.

(Not An Actual) Cry For Help

twilight a poem by ms. jennifer a. lancaster some days i cannot wrap my mind around the shame that is my life P.S. Also in my cart on this particular Target run? Dry cat food, wet cat food, cat treats, cat litter, cat toys, a pair of plus-size jeans, twelve cans of green beans, and six soups-for-one. P.P.S. I assured the cashier I was married. (Pretty sure she didn't believe me.) P.P.P.S. And if you think I didn't immediately RUSH home and order the coordinating Jacob, Bella, and Alice action...

You In The Size Zero Pants, Finish Your Carrot Sticks And Skip This Post

As I promised on Twitter earlier, here's your Big Girls' Guide to Online Style post. (If you'd all hold on for a moment while I congratulate myself for actually doing what I promised I'd do when I promised I'd do it and not, say, at some distant point in the future when everyone will have forgotten the original promise, I'd appreciate it.) (Of course, I'm pretty much writing this post as a way to put off my first round of book revisions.) (Apparently the only way to get me to do anything is t...