Talena Winters's Blog, page 8

The Good Girl’s Guide to Being Bad

Covers for The Undine’s Tear, The Waterboy, and The Sphinx’s Heart in front of a blue image of the lower side of water’s surface. Text: Rise of the Grigori Beneath the Surface Blog Series

Welcome to Part Four of the Rise of the Grigori Beneath-the-Surface series. I have a guest writer for this week’s post: Narcissa kor’Adonia, Opal Princess of Sirenia, the island home of my mermaid race, the undines. She’s here to give us the inside scoop on what her cousin Calandra is really like. Enjoy!

Interview with Narcissa kor’Adonia, Opal Princess of Sirenia:

Narcissa kor’Adonia, Opal Princess of Sirenia, as depicted by Artbreeder. (Except her eyes are supposed to be pale green.)

I never wanted to be a princess, but you don’t get to choose who you’re born as. It’s a lot of pressure, I’m not going to lie. But there are a few perks. For instance, no one really expects me to step out of line—which makes it easier to hide the times I do. After all, I’m the good one, not like my cousin Calandra. She has everyone fooled into thinking she’s so perfect, but not me. I can see right through her. All she wants is to take what’s mine, and I won’t stand for it.

Just because she’s a panacea, capable of healing in all three disciplines—stone, plant, and physic—everyone thinks she’s the best thing since we discovered avocadoes. They think she’s going to save the undines. As if. She’s so powerful, she’s bound to go crazy any day now, and then where will we be?

I keep watching for signs that she’s cracking, like our great-ancestor Nadia, the panacea who sank Atlantis. Sometimes, I think it’s started—like she’s hearing voices in her head. But no one believes me when I tell them how dangerous she is. My mother, Queen Adonia, keeps telling everyone how Calandra is the “Saviour of the Heartstone.” If I’m not careful, Mother is going to name Calandra heir to the throne instead of me. Then we’d be doomed, for sure. Especially since Calandra hates me.

Which is why I have to be good. But that doesn’t mean I can’t make Calandra’s life a misery. After all, she deserves it for taking all of Mother’s attention and making sure she always gets the best of everything.

I’ve had my victories, though—like stealing her favourite doulos for my bodyguard. The one she liked to hang around with so much when we were kids, back before he was tamed by Redemption. Sometimes I think she actually had feelings for him… but that would be crazy. You don’t have feelings for men. When they’re Redeemed, it would be like loving a post, and when they’re not… well, they’re much too dangerous to be around.

That’s why undine sirens Redeem all the men they capture with sirensong before the siren pods even climb aboard their human ships. It’s been that way for thousands of years, and, if I have any say, that will never change. Besides, freeing a Redeemed man is worth the death penalty, and even Calandra isn’t that stupid.

If only I could figure out a way to show everyone how underhanded she really is.

Wait. I think I’ve got something…

Want to know what Narcissa thought up? Read The Undine’s Tear.

Thank you to Jen Baxter of Character Madness and Musings for hosting the original post.

Next week: Some of the many seed ideas that became the Rise of the Grigori world. PLUS a gift for you.

In this series:

Part One: Introducing the Rise of the Grigori series

Part Two: Where the idea for this series came from

Part Three: Author Interview and a peek beneath Calandra’s bed

Cover for The Undine’s Tear (Rise of the Grigori Book 1); a green book cover with a magical trident wrapped in manacles in front of the image of a young blond white woman in a white Greek-style dress walking out of the waves. Text: Will she save the world… or destroy it?

The Ballad of the Brown V-neck Sweater

Is it just me, or does it feel like we’re careening toward the end of the year like a drunk squirrel on ice skates?

I realized today that I only have two weeks left before my two-week holiday, and I am so. ready. At the same time, I feel like I have a million things to finish before then. Paradoxes, am I right?

I’m pretty sure the panic I’m trying to squelch comes from still having several projects I want to complete before the end of the year. I’m getting closer. And I have a shot.

As I mentioned last Monday, I already published the Trailfinder Hat, and I have another design in the same collection to publish later this week that I will be very happy to have out in the world, the Lothlorien Fingerless Mittens.

In addition, yesterday I finished a sweater for my son Jude that has been in works since September 2019.

Oh, does this sweater have a saga of woe.

What’s that? You want to hear it? How kind of you to ask. :-)

Several years ago, I decided I wanted to start teaching myself sweater design. My husband has a ribbed V-neck sweater that I thought might be a good one to try and emulate as a learning project. So I got busy. I would be designing mine to fit my oldest son, Jude, who was in grade 12 at the time.

I ordered the yarn, did the swatch, did the math, created the pattern outline, and got to work.

According to the metadata on this photo, I was finally winding yarn in preparation to knit on February 18, 2020. I suspect this was for the extra yarn I had to order later, since I started the project on October 14, 2019, according to Ravelry.

By the time I finished the front, the back, and one sleeve, I realized I wouldn’t have enough yarn to complete it, so I went and searched for more. I was using an undyed natural yarn, though, so when I ran out my original yarn about two inches into the second sleeve and switched to the new stuff, I could immediately see that the new yarn was at least one or two shades darker.

Maybe it won’t be that noticeable, I thought.

It was.

Wound and ready to go. And the tea is almost gone… (Image shows a flat lay of a cake of dark brown yarn on a wooden tabletop next to the yarn label (Cascade Ecological Wool), an almost-empty mug of tea, and with the ball winder and swift at the edges of the photo.)

Since I had already come so far, though, I finished the sleeve, steam-blocked everything, and basted the design together for Jude to try on.

Sadly, the change in yarn colour wasn’t the only issue.

The sleeves were waaaay too long.

I had forgotten to go up a needle size after the hem when knitting the back, so the back piece was too small.

The unique sleeve cap shaping that I thought I was copying straight from that other sweater wasn’t quite fitting into the armhole smoothly because of a sharp-ish corner.

And that colour change on the sleeve was as noticeable as a flashing neon sign.

I took measurements, took notes, made a plan for how to fix the issue, and got to work… again.

Round 1 after basting it together, showing the weird armhole fit.

The plan involved ripping out the back and both sleeves to fix the sleeve length issue, the back needle size issue, and also so I could re-knit the back using the darker yarn where it would be less noticeable and save the lighter yarn for the sleeves. However, I believe I got as far as ripping it all out before I got stalled and put the project aside.

This was during a low-knitting-mojo period of my life, but, in addition, the pandemic hit. Once it did, I found it hard to focus on anything big and complicated and resorted to knitting dishcloth after dishcloth… then not knitting much else at all during 2020, thanks to the stresses and extreme busy-ness of that year.

Still progress

Slowly, over the next two years, I re-knit the pieces of the sweater in fits and spurts. A few weeks ago, I decided it was time to finish this project and get it out of my hair (no longer certain it would even fit Jude), so I put a burn on to make the last piece, which happened to be the second sleeve.

Then I sewed the whole thing together and had him try it on… only to discover that the revised sleeve cap shaping still created a weird pucker at the front and back of the shoulder. (At least it fit otherwise.)

I pouted for a few hours, then got back to work. Again, again. (I really wanted this out of my hair.)

I redesigned the sleeve cap (using some rather clever shaping tricks that I’ve never used before and which I’ll tuck into my toolkit for other projects), took the sleeves off the sweater, frogged the caps only, and reknit them in the new shape.

It still wasn’t enough. And the sleeves were still too long, and they kind of bunched up a bit in the armpits. (Jude insisted it was fine, other than the sleeve length, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him wear it as-is.)

I stewed on it overnight, then had Jude try the sweater on again so I could take measurements and notes. This time, I saw the problem right away. And there were two options to fix it. One would fix the sleeve cap shaping issue only, and the other—which would take much more work—would also resolve the underarm bunching.

At that point, I was tired. I just wanted to be done. And I already knew that the really real fix would require changing some subtle shaping issues around the armhole on the front and back pieces too—and that wasn’t going to happen. So I went with fixing the sleeve cap shaping only.

And yesterday afternoon, I pronounced it dead finished.

And—warm my heart—I just saw that my son voluntarily decided to wear it on this chilly winter day. Yay!

Here are some photos he let me take after finishing yesterday:

Check out this handsome kid! He makes my sweater look good. If only the light in our house was better, but that’s December for you…

I love the yellow edging. I think it totally brightens up the brown.

I learned at every step of the way… including that I would do this V-neck differently the next time around for a crisper point in the centre.

My initial goal with the project, besides making a sweater for my son, was to learn more about sweater design. Which I did. After all that ripping and knitting, I learned a lot.

When I saw how much work would be required for the “real” fix of this design’s sleeves, I opted for this one to be a learning prototype only. (There had been a few other “hmm, I should have done that differently” moments too.) I will likely revise and remake it as a pattern to sell at some point… but I need a mental break from it first.

However, between this project and my recent discovery of how much easier Excel spreadsheets make grading patterns, I’m now overflowing with new sweater design ideas. I even swatched a new cabled sleeveless turtleneck idea last week, which I’m very excited to make.

Let’s just hope that doesn’t take three years to finish, too. :-)

Fun fact: the very first sweater I ever made was also for Jude. I made it from a pattern in a knitting magazine while I was pregnant with him, and all three of my babies wore it. (Levi was already too big for it by the time we got him.) Here’s a photo of Jabin in it at just under a year… the only one who was able to wear it that long.

Jabin in the lime green baby sweater I made when Jude was a baby, only a year or so after I learned to knit. Looks like it needed a wash! Jabin was 11 months old here. (That extra-long space between the top and second button? That was an error in the pattern. I later made another one in a larger size, and it had the same problem. I wasn’t experienced enough as a knitter yet to notice it while knitting or know how to fix it on my own.)

A Peek Beneath the Surface: Author Interview

Today’s post is Part Three of the Rise of the Grigori Beneath-the-Surface series… but it’s mostly about me. Thank you to Cherie Colyer of Write. Read. Live. for hosting the original interview.

Other posts in this series:

Part One: Introducing the Rise of the Grigori Series

Part Two: Where Mythology & Imagination Meet: Creating a Real-World Mermaid Fantasy

On to the interview!

Swimming mermaid image by Nsey Benajah, @nseylubangi, courtesy of Unsplash.

What inspired you to write this book?

The initial idea for the world of the undines (UN-deens) came while watching the Australian young adult mermaid show H2O: Just Add Water in 2010. What happened to all the mermen? I wondered. Why must mermaids in most tales find human husbands or drag sailors beneath the waves?

My brain wouldn’t leave that alone, and, for the first time ever, I had an idea for a fiction novel. The only problem was that I didn’t know how to write fiction! This was the idea that inspired me to learn how.

Over the next seven years, I did a ton of research about mermaids, matriarchal societies, ancient myths, the Atlantic Slave Trade, and more, while also taking a course about novel writing and publishing my first two novels (both contemporary). After all the practice and research, I finally had the groundwork in place to tackle this epic fantasy about an all-female mermaid culture that had to capture human men to survive. It would be another two years before I published it.

Two years later in November 2021, I published the next volume, The Sphinx’s Heart. I’m currently taking a short break to write some sweet small-town romance before tackling book three.

Tell us three things we’d find if we looked under your heroine’s bed?

Not much, not even dust bunnies. My heroine, Calandra, is a practical, utilitarian sort who likes working with her hands, but she was also raised in a palace. So the servants make sure her room stays spic and span at all times. She has a stone working hobby, though, so I bet she has some interesting crystals and rocks she’s found stashed in the back of her wardrobe, which she doesn’t bother filling with something as frivolous as fancy clothes. And a few data stones, which is her culture’s equivalent of books—she loves to read and learn.

Tell us about a book that stayed with you long after you finished reading it.

My dad gave me the first three books from the Chronicles of Narnia for my ninth birthday, which was probably the beginning of my love affair with fantasy novels. I bought the rest of the series myself, and have spent the rest of my life looking for books that revive the wonder and magic I felt reading those for the first (or second, or third) time.

Another was The Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell. I read that many times. I was enamoured with the bravery and determination of the female protagonist—she was my Moana. I especially loved that it was based on a true story.

These two novels (and many others) contributed to my lifelong love of both history and fantasy, and to my belief that being a girl didn’t have to be a limitation.

Guilty pleasure… books you can’t get enough of?

Right now, it’s paranormal women’s fiction. I got hooked by Lindsay Buroker’s A Witch in Wolf Wood series, in which I’m all caught up [and which has since been concluded], and I just recently started trying other authors in this genre. Wit, witches, and wolf shifters—I’m hooked.

What do you do when you’re not writing?

Besides read? Lol. My “day job” is as a developmental editor and copy writer, so I get to play with stories and help other writers all the time, which I love. I’m also a mom of three teenage boys and a wife to my Prince Charming. We live a quiet life on an acreage in northern Alberta, Canada in a really amazing community. Oh, and I design knitwear patterns in my spare time—my “hobby business.”

What makes you laugh out loud?

Practically everything. Seriously, I’ve been known for my quick, loud, and distinctive laugh my whole life. I see the humour in almost everything, even very serious moments. However, I’m also deeply affected by other people’s pain, so it’s not like I laugh when I shouldn’t—most of the time.

My husband and kids know how to tickle my funny bone best. But I’m also particularly fond of word play, clean stand-up comedy, and sitcoms like Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The IT Crowd. And did I mention the witty paranormal women’s fiction I’ve been reading lately?

Is there anything specific you want to tell readers?

The standalone prequel for the Rise of the Grigori series is available as a free digital download when you sign up for my newsletter. The Waterboy is a novella that tells the origin story of Calandra’s brother, Zale, the male protagonist of the series—the first undine male born in three thousand years. His mother raised him in England, away from her people, and when he discovers his powers, bad things happen that set him on the path of his destiny. You can grab the free eBook by signing up here. It’s also available to purchase on audiobook at that link or on your favourite audiobook platform.

Covers for The Undine’s Tear, The Waterboy, and The Sphinx’s Heart in front of a blue image of the lower side of water’s surface. Text: Rise of the Grigori Beneath the Surface Blog Series

Next week: Narcissa, cousin to the protagonists of The Undine’s Tear, gives us the inside scoop about what Calandra is really like.

Are you on my newsletter list? I send out regular specials and deals on my and others’ books, plus behind-the-scenes looks at my fiction and writing process. Oh, and as I mentioned in the interview, you get the prequel of the Rise of the Grigori series as a thank you for joining.

Sign Up

Happy Wednesday!

Stories and Embers

I spend a lot of time thinking about the stories we believe. How the ones others believe play out in their lives, and how the ones I believe play out in mine.

But recognizing what they are and thinking about them doesn’t mean you can automatically change them. Which gives me even more to think about.

That’s all.

Image by Christopher Campbell, courtesy of Unsplash.

I don’t have any great wisdom or ponderings to share today. I’m quite low-energy this morning, like a fire that has burned down to the embers. When I feel like this, it’s all I can do to get through the musts of my day, let alone find a little light to share with others.

So if there’s any light to share with you today, friend, it’s that I’ve learned these days come and go. And the sooner you get on with your life, the sooner a funk tends to dissipate.

So, since I’m generally lacking in good ideas today, I’m just going to share a few things I’ve been up to lately (and which are more than likely responsible for my sponge being a little dry).

New Knitting Pattern Release

The Trailfinder Hat, my most recent knitting pattern, went live on Thursday night and had a rather busy first weekend. I’m thrilled with and so grateful for the response.

I started this design in early October, so it’s one of my faster concept-to-completion designs. As far as pattern formatting and clarity goes, it’s also the best one I’ve ever written, in my opinion. I’m very proud of it.

And it’s on an introductory price of over 30% off for the month of December, but only if you buy it here on my website.

Check it Out Jessica Renwick releases Fifth Starfell Book

Jessica is an amazing editing client of mine, and I’m so thrilled to be able to spread the news about her latest book release: The Song of Embers, which comes out tomorrow (Tuesday). That brings her middle grade fantasy series Starfell to five titles in total. And I know it’s for middle grade, but it’s such a delightful fantasy series that even those long past the middle grade years can enjoy it. (Like, Harry Potter good. And the series keeps getting better with every book.)

For this project, not only did I get to help Jessica finesse the story a little, I also did the interior design of the print version, which was a fun challenge. Her previous designer has had to step back, which is a bit of a downer for an author mid-series. I’ve been learning how to do book designing with my own books, but this was my first time doing it for someone else—all while trying to match the previous designer’s specs. I learned some more about book formatting and Adobe InDesign with this project, which is always fun. I don’t want to do this kind of thing all the time, but it was a nice change from my normal stuff.

And the results turned out beautifully, according to Jessica. :-)

(Note about the universal book link: I’m an affiliate of Amazon.com, .ca, and .co.uk, as well as Kobo. If you click through from my link to one of those platforms and make a purchase, I make a few cents at no extra cost to you.)

See the Book Cover Experiment

In October, I had a little fun with creating an experimental new cover for Finding Heaven that draws inspiration from bestselling author Colleen Hoover’s current branding. A quick poll of my Instagram audience gave mixed results about whether people liked the new cover or the one from 2020 better, but they definitely leaned in favour of the old one.

So, the one from 2020 remains. But I thought I’d post the new one here for posterity. Now that it’s made, I’m pondering creating a special print edition that uses it for the folks who liked the look. But that will definitely wait for a while.

What do you think? Of the three covers this book has had, which is your favourite?

The new cover I designed in 2022.
The cover Finding Heaven has had since 2020.
Original cover for Finding Heaven Current Work-in-Progress

This fall has been a bit dry as far as writing is concerned. I’m making very slow progress (in fits and spurts) on my next novel, which is book two in the Peace Country Romance series, Every Bell that Rings. But I have no great urgency to write, which is weird. I do feel a lot of urgency to get some other things in my business resolved, as well as some niggling things I have to do in my personal life. But, like so many other things, my writing mojo has burned very low.

I’m not stressed about the lack of writing, which is also weird. But I think my adoption of the slow productivity ethos, and my constant re-focusing on what I want my life to look (and feel) like this year, is helping with that.

Writing shouldn’t be stressful, it should be fun. And as long as my books aren’t paying my bills, why was I so stressed about producing them?

That’s why I’ve been spending a lot of time this year looking at the foundations of my business, adjusting how I work, and adjusting how I market to something more sustainable and enjoyable for me.

I’m definitely planning to release this book next fall now. It’s a Christmas book, so releasing it earlier wouldn’t be the best start for it. I’m hoping I get my writing mojo back in the new year, which should allow me to not only finish this book but be able to release the next one in the series not long afterward.

But if it doesn’t? Oh, well.

One thing I don’t want to do: get so burned out I never write fiction again. I’ve got too many ideas and too many stories I want to tell (both to others and myself) to let that happen. Which is why I feel like this current lull is a time of healing, and when I’m ready, I know I’ll be able to regularly put words on the page again. (I’ve been writing in some form or another since I was nine. I don’t foresee that changing until they put me in the ground.)

In the meantime, I’m using my energy to prepare my business to grow to another level. So when my books do catch fire? I’ll (hopefully) be ready for what comes along with it, and once again have the fuel to keep that flame burning.

Okay, I’ve stretched that embers metaphor as far as I can. Happy Monday, friend. May this week find you merry and bright.

Where Mythology & Imagination Meet: The Creation of a “Real-World” Mermaid Fantasy

Welcome to the second entry on the Beneath-the-Surface Blog Series for the Rise of the Grigori young adult epic mermaid fantasy series! You can find the introductory post here.

Every book has to start with a seed idea. For the Rise of the Grigori series, that idea was a question, sparked while watching a mermaid show (H2O: Just Add Water) where the entire race was female: Where are all the mermen?

Despite the fact that some popular mermaid stories include mermen, historically, the idea of mermaids have been far more prevalent and romanticized. While mermaids were the stuff of sailor’s wet dreams—often conflated with the alluring sirens of Greek mythology to draw human men to their doom beneath the waves—mythological mermen were twisted, stunted things akin to tricksters and demons, if a male counterpart existed at all.

And my brain wanted to know why.

While answering that question, I researched mermaid myths and discovered that nearly every ancient culture had mermaids in some form. Soon, my brain had started to create the world and history of the undines (UN-deens, an elemental water creature from Greek mythology) to answer my question about the absent mermen.

Undines haven’t been able to birth their own males for three thousand years, since a powerful Mad healer in their history sank Atlantis. No one knows why the powerful healers go Mad, nor why the undines can’t produce boys, nor why the Heartstone that powers the barrier hiding their island is failing. Not even Calandra, the most powerful healer to be born since the Sinking—which means she’s probably going to go insane eventually, too.

Well, none of the undines know. Outside the barrier, someone knows—and they have assigned a young sphinx cherubim to guard Zale, the first undine male to be born in three millennia. It’s the sphinx’s job to reunite him with his sister (Calandra) and mother to save not only the undines, but the entire cosmos, before a powerful fallen dragon seraph plunges it into chaos. Again.

In creating the Rise of the Grigori series, I pulled on my interests in ancient and modern cultures and myths, history, my passion for social issues such as gender and racial equality, and my own Judeo-Christian spiritual beliefs about angels, demons, and the cosmos, and built a fantasy world set on an Earth almost like our own in 1799. While most of my research will never appear on the page, it creates a vibrant backdrop to the action and adventure tale of the brother and sister destined to save the universe.

If they can only figure out what went wrong in the first place.

Thank you to Long and Short Reviews for hosting the original post.

My fantastic book covers were designed by Patrick Knowles. I can’t wait to see what the next one will look like. :-) Image: Three book covers with magical tridents on the front in paperback, hardcover, and eBook format sit in front of a moody cloudy background reflected in water. Text: One mistake could unleash hell… Dive into this epic mermaid fantasy today!

Excerpt from The Undine’s Tear:

“You are wondering how to gain control of your powers,” Damon said without preamble.

Calandra thought about ignoring him or denying it, but what was the point? This was nothing more than a dream, and the slippery logic of dreams fuzzed her will to keep her more rebellious thoughts to herself.

“You know, I shouldn’t even be talking to you. An Unredeemed male. I could get in big trouble.”

The corners of his mouth curved under his trim goatee. “And who will report you?” He indicated the blackness around them. “Certainly not I. I exist only in your mind.”

She crossed her arms and cocked her head, studying him. “Have you ever been Redeemed?”

His expression became stony. “Redemption is for humans.”

“Redemption is for men. To make them safe. It just happens that the only men are human.”

Thinking of Osaze’s dread, she wondered again at the morality of it. Uncrossing her arms, she shifted her gaze from Damon’s face to his bronze chest. “And one of them is my friend.”

“All humans should be controlled,” he replied nonchalantly, drawing nearer. “They have not the patience nor discipline to control themselves. And I am not human, yet I am male.”

She looked up at him, eyes narrowed. “I can see that. What are you? I’ve never seen an undine with golden eyes.”

He smiled knowingly. “Not human. But I could be your friend.”

That same feeling of security and warmth from their first encounter enveloped her, as though he were projecting it from himself intentionally. She frowned, wanting to accept it and shake off her heavy heart, but not daring to trust him yet.

“What do you want from me?”

“I want to help you.”

Damon came near enough to touch her but didn’t, pausing before her with his arms to the sides in a placating gesture.

She wrapped her arms around herself and glared into the blackness beyond him. “Yeah, well, you can’t. Not unless you can tell me how to control powers that could sink an island and heal the Heartstone without going Mad.”

“Little lark,” he said, amusement dripping from his voice like honey from a spoon, “that is exactly what I intend to do.”

Covers for The Undine’s Tear, The Waterboy, and The Sphinx’s Heart in front of a blue image of the lower side of water’s surface. Text: Rise of the Grigori Beneath the Surface Blog Series

Check out the Series

Just a reminder that this is the last day to get an extra 10% off of any book in my bookstore with coupon code READMORE22. It’s the perfect time to dive into the Rise of the Grigori series. (See what I did there? Dive? Haha. I kill myself.)

Next week: an author interview with moi.

Happy Wednesday!

Book review for The Undine’s Tear from Lorehaven Magazine: 5/5 Stars. “Well-drawn characters immersed in intricate worlds. Mixes a biblical worldview, ancient Greek myth, and 1700s nautical culture. A rip-roaring read.”

Five Years

I heard something on a podcast last week that keeps rattling around in my brain when it comes to making business decisions about where to spend my time: is this something I want to still be doing in five years?

The example they were discussing was TikTok. The host, who happens to enjoy TikTok, was like, “Do I want to be spending twenty hours a week on TikTok in five years? No.”

It only took me a month of focusing on TikTok this summer to realize that that is not my jam. And this whole marketing pivot I’m currently making to a more content-centred approach from my own website is a result of thinking about what is.

Since I heard that podcast, I keep thinking about that question when it comes to all sorts of things:

Do I want to be working forty-five to fifty hours a week in five years?

Is this marketing method (whatever it is) something I still want to be doing in five years?

Is this income stream (whatever it is) something I still want to be pursuing in five years?

It’s a very helpful rubric. Because there are some things where the answer is a definite Heck, no! And some where it’s like, Yes, I love this and will do it forever even if it never makes me a dime.

But then there’s stuff that’s like, Well, I guess I’d be okay with it if I need to do it to make money, but it’s not like it lights me on fire.

“In five years’ time, I would love to be in a healthier, more energetic and content place. And that’s the rubric by which I’m measuring the activities I’m keeping.”

So much of the career advice you hear nowadays is along the lines of “If it’s not a heck, yes, then why are you doing it?”

This is in stark contrast to the prevailing attitudes fifty or sixty years ago, where it was like, “It doesn’t matter if it’s killing your soul, you have responsibilities, so this is the job you need to do.”

I’ve done a few soul-killing jobs. And I recognize how privileged I am to be able to say, “I don’t want to do that anymore.”

That doesn’t mean everything required to do what I love is going to light me on fire… and I’m perfectly okay with that. There can be joy in tedious tasks. Still, if it’s actually feeling a little soul-killing, it’s something I feel I need to examine.

Which is where the five-year rubric comes in.

Do I want to be working forty-five hours a week in five years?

I used to be like, “Sure, I love work, and besides, what else would I do?” Now, I’m less on board with this. The idea of a thirty- or even twenty-hour work week is sounding more appealing all the time.

Because I do love working on my business, but I also love doing hobbies and other things that aren’t necessarily related to my business. And the pace I’ve been keeping up for the last seven years (since I started pursuing a writing career in earnest) hasn’t allowed time for those activities. In fact, it has slowly pushed them out of my life. We got rid of our chicken flock. My garden looks like a nature preserve. And there are unfinished projects in my house that only need a little time and attention to be completed… yet there they sit, undone.

I bombed out on my slow productivity mission last week, and this morning, I’m still tired because of it. I’ve been fantasizing about taking the entire month of December off. It’s a warning sign to me that I’m overdoing it again. (I have a client project booked, which is good, but that also means this will remain a fantasy. However, I’m taking two weeks off, so I will be getting a break in there, just not a full month.)

Do you ever wish you could just take a break from your personal issues for a while? For me, I’d love to be able to set aside my workaholic tendencies for long enough to take a proper break and heal from burnout without feeling guilty for all the work I’m not doing.

But my unhealthy attitude didn’t develop overnight, and resetting it is going to take time, too.

I may not be able to see the future, but I can at least choose which path I’ll take to get there. Image by Martino Pietropoli, courtesy of Unsplash.

I’m working on it. I’m getting there. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Because in five years’ time, I would love to be in a healthier, more energetic and content place. And that’s the rubric by which I’m measuring the activities I’m keeping.

Onward. Slowly. So I can smell a few more roses along the way.

Because my life is my adventure. And if I’m not enjoying the journey, I might be doing something wrong.

Have you tried my books or knitting patterns yet? If not, please check them out. Thanks!

Introducing the Rise of the Grigori Beneath-the-Surface Blog Series

This spring, I booked my first-ever blog tour featuring The Undine’s Tear. It was a lot of work, as I had to produce original content for nine different blogs. But it was also awesome, because it didn’t take long for me to get tired of saying the same things over and over again and to start getting really creative. And I learned more about my world and my characters in the process.

Ever since, I’ve been intending to repost the best of those articles here. And, starting today, that’s what I’ll be doing for the next several Wednesdays.

I figured starting with an interview-style post might be a great introduction. You know, just in case you’ve never heard me mention anything about this series before. (Hey, it could be happen. And if you’re that new here, welcome! So nice to have you!)

Image by Shot by Cerqueira, @shotbycerqueira, courtesy of Unsplash.

Can you tell us more about the series as a whole?

Sure! The official series description is:

The Rise of the Grigori currently has three titles: The Undines’s Tear (Book 1), The Sphinx’s Heart (Book 2), and a standalone origin story prequel for Zale, the first merman in three millennia, in The Waterboy. The Waterboy is a free download when you sign up for my Books & Inspiration newsletter.

Packed with complex characters, lush world-building, gritty action, and impossible odds, this intricately woven tale presents mermaids like you’ve never seen them before. Join Calandra in a search for redemption that will threaten the very fabric of the universe.

So far, the series includes two books, plus a standalone prequel novella that you can get for free when you sign up to my newsletter.

In The Undine’s Tear, we’re introduced to the world of the undines (UN-deens or un-DEENS—a.k.a. mermaids), an isolated island somewhere in the Atlantic where the all-female undine race has protected, and been protected by, the Heartstone that powers their island’s barrier for thousands of years. Since they’ve lost the ability to produce their own males, they have to capture human men to survive—whom they enslave using the siren mind-bond.

As the queen’s niece and the most powerful healer since the woman who sank their original home of Atlantis, the heroine, Calandra, has been raised to heal the Heartstone and protect her island at any cost—even her own sanity, since every powerful healer before her has gone insane eventually. But when she receives a cryptic message from the mother who abandoned her when she was a baby that hints her mother might have been pregnant with a boy, and that the men she’s been raised to fear are not as dangerous as she’s been led to believe, her entire world is shaken and she starts looking for answers to the mysteries that surround her people and their history… and the brother she never knew she had.

The series is the story of both Calandra and her brother Zale as they uncover the reasons for the devolution of their culture, the divine purpose the undines forgot, and the plans of a nefarious, power-hungry fallen angel/dragon who wants nothing more to rule the entire cosmos by using the powerful brother-sister duo to accomplish his goals.

It’s full of adventure, action, and a world you never knew existed right under our noses.

I hope you enjoy the dive!

Books in the series:

The Undine’s Tear (Book 1)

The Sphinx’s Heart (Book 2)

The Waterboy (Standalone prequel)

Thank you to Viviana Mackade for hosting this post and asking this question in the original tour.

Covers for The Undine’s Tear, The Waterboy, and The Sphinx’s Heart in front of a blue image of the lower side of water’s surface. Text: Rise of the Grigori Beneath the Surface Blog Series

This summer, I experimented a bit with the AI art generator Artbreeder and came up with some character headshots for some of my main characters in the Rise of the Grigori series.

There were some limitations with the technology that would require me to do some further tweaking on my own to make these one hundred percent accurate. I couldn’t figure out how to force golden or green eyes for a person of colour (or even a white person), for instance. And it was pretty hard to get the age just right for some characters, like Zale—he looks too young for sixteen. Also, every time I tried to make his hair long, the software made him look like a girl, so I had to go with short. And putting scars on Robert? Good luck.

But it was still pretty cool to see my characters “in real life,” so to speak.

Plus, playing with the art generator was super fun! I keep wanting to play with another one I’ve heard of, Midjourney, but haven’t gotten to it yet.

Anyway, allow me to introduce you to some of the characters of the Rise of the Grigori series:

View fullsize
Calandra kor'Delphine View fullsize
Zale Teague/Zale bet'Delphine View fullsize
Robert Cox View fullsize
Narcissa kor'Adonia View fullsize
Osaze bet'Urbi View fullsize
Miss Abela Bethel View fullsize
Gryffyn Cox View fullsize
Queen Adonia View fullsize
Tanni kor'Zelia View fullsize
Hebe kor'Adonia

I hope you enjoyed this introduction to The Undine’s Tear. If you want to see the rest of the posts as they come, make sure to subscribe to get my blog in your inbox (in the sidebar or below this post, depending what you’re reading on). I’ve got some very fun posts coming up, including a bonus scene and a half, a tourism-style listicle of Sirenia, and some posts about my writing process.

Happy Wednesday!

P.S. Until November 30, you can get any of my books in my Bookstore in any format at an extra 10% off the lowest marked price with coupon code READMORE22. So be sure to snatch up some gifts for someone. (If it’s you, awesome. I won’t judge.)

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Still

“Be still and know that I am God.”

— Psalm 46:10

Stillness isn’t something that comes naturally to me.

In fact, of all the lessons I continue to relearn during all the multiple and sundry tumultuous events of my life, the one that I forget most quickly is the value of stillness. Of just sitting and thinking and being open to what God would have me hear.

I think that’s why blogging and journaling have become such important practices for me. They are doing, but in order to do them, first I must sit in stillness and reflect. And often the processing happens through my fingers instead of in my thoughts, and I look back at what I’ve written in amazement and surprise.

They are the habits that break through my circling thoughts of musts and shoulds and need tos. And they do it in a constructive way, not in an I’m-too-exhausted-to-function way. By writing, I find that place of stillness in my heart.

On Saturday, our family went to see Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. And it wrecked me in the best ways, as well as a few difficult ones.

To those who know that Chadwick Boseman, the star of the first Black Panther, died before they made this one, it will be no surprise (and no spoiler) that the theme of the movie is grief. It was beautifully handled, and made all the more poignant when one looks at the movie not only as the requiem of the character of King T’Challa, but also of the brilliant actor who brought him to life in our hearts and who was taken from this world too soon.

More than that, though, the movie was a gorgeous fantasy epic in every sense of the word, featuring strong women handling world-threatening problems while dealing with immense grief, and handling them as women would.

It was a fantastic movie, and I came away from it hoping to write something so wonderfully executed someday.

We went to the Saturday afternoon matinee. After weeping for a good chunk of the movie, it left me with a lot to think about and process.

(Incidentally, we went to the movie for Jabin’s birthday party—he’s turning seventeen today—and he emerged from the theatre declaring it his new favourite movie in the entire Marvel universe. So they didn’t just hit the right notes for me, but for my teenage son. That’s an amazing feat.)

At one point, Princess Shuri (King T’Challa’s sister) is advised to “grieve according the traditions of her people, but don’t lose yourself in your technology.” Like many scientists, she doesn’t believe in the spiritual traditions of her people, and her journey through the movie is from the frantic search for a technological solution to the problems that face her that she believes only she can devise (an outward accomplishment-based solution) through a spiritual awakening to the inner stillness she needs to go forward in true peace and confidence.

Wow, does that ever resonate with my experience with grief.

After Levi died, I came to recognize that grief is one of the most potent tools God has for bringing us closer to him… but we have to choose to accept that invitation to closeness. For me and my dependence on busy-ness, moments of grief stop me in my tracks and almost force me to sit in stillness long enough to face the things I’m using my activity to hide from: my own insecurities and belief that I’m not enough all on my own.

We are all the sum of the stories we believe. Which is why I so often quote Muriel Rukeyser’s quip “The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.” The Enneagram helps us see those stories clearly, maybe for the first time. But I’ve been learning about the stories I believe for years before I stumbled on the Enneagram in March.

If only unbelieving them were as easy as seeing them for what they are, which is, frequently, a lie.

“We are all the sum of the stories we believe.”

That’s why we must, occasionally, be still. To hear the truth that counteracts the lies.

Yesterday, I went to a physical church service for only the second time since the pandemic started (the first having been in September). And, for the second time in a row, spent the entire service weeping.

As we left the parking lot, I told Jason, “I think the pandemic broke me.”

And it wasn’t until I wrote this post that I figured out why.

Photo by Aleksandr Ledogorov on Unsplash.

I’ve grieved a lot in my life. I’ve grieved some very hard things. But the pandemic was the first domino to tip in the breaking of the world as we knew it, triggering a series of events that is still flattening dominoes to this day. It seems every day we see one more ripple effect of the ways the pandemic has exposed the brokenness of our systems and our hearts.

And I grieve it. I grieve how little I can do. I’ve railed against God that he doesn’t do more. I’ve questioned him and yelled at him and begged him for proof that he exists. I’ve gotten busier and busier, burying myself in work to avoid the grief that always hovers at the edges, threatening to overwhelm me if I sit too still.

But the answers don’t come in the flurry of activity.

The answers only come when I take the time to sit and reflect on how he has been faithful. Through every storm and trial, he hasn’t gone anywhere.

I need to remember the lessons he taught me when I lost my little boy. That he doesn’t see these things like we do. He is much less interested in our happiness than in our hearts. And he never wastes our tears.

“He is much less interested in our happiness than in our hearts. And he never wastes our tears.”

Last week, I discovered that Steven Curtis Chapman (my favourite music artist) released another album, Still, earlier this year… and it found me just when I needed to hear it.

As I’ve listened to the album over the past few days, I’ve thanked God for the influence this man and his family have had on my life. In fact, it’s a little odd how many similarities my life has had to his, and I don’t just mean that he also adopted kids and also lost one in an accident almost identical to how we lost Levi. I see in him and am inspired by his heart and passion for God. And, since he’s always been a little further ahead on the journey than me, his music has been instrumental in helping me along on mine.

I doubt we will meet on this Earth. But someday, on the other side, I intend to seek him out and thank him for being so transparent with his struggles and his faith, for his music has often helped bring me back to the truths I have to learn again—that even when I doubt, and hurt, and weep, God is faithful. He’s already been wherever I’m going. And no matter what happens, I can believe in that.

Still.

Starting this week, I’m going to be experimenting with a blogging- and email-first approach to connecting with readers. I’m excited to have a series of behind-the-scenes blog posts for my Rise of the Grigori epic mermaid fantasy series kicking off on Wednesday. If you want to make sure you don’t miss that, sign up to get my blog emailed to your inbox in the sidebar or below this post, depending on your device.

Happy Monday, my friend. May your week be blessed.

Following Joy

I’m starting a new thing today.

It’s not really new. I’m just moving things around a little, cutting out some things that aren’t working for me, and focusing more on what I love.

Image by Kristopher Roller, @krisroller, courtesy of Unsplash.

With this slow productivity kick I’ve been on since September, it’s given me time to think more about what I’m doing for my business, my family, and myself—and what my business is doing for me—and to examine what is and isn’t working for me.

I’ve had some definite successes. Giving up time-blocking has allowed my rule-following brain to be more flexible—an absolute necessity now that I’m running three (now down to two, since one got his license) kids hither and yon every day of the week, often during my working hours.

If I’d tried to keep juggling a time-blocked schedule while doing this, I’m sure I would have had a nervous breakdown.

It’s also showed me that I have a lot of work still to do to overcome my workaholic tendencies. Work is where my thoughts tend to go first in times of stress. Which, of course, has been kind of my status quo this year. (This decade?)

Lest you get the wrong idea, I’ve actually been feeling pretty good for the last month, taking better care of myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and my body has rewarded me with maintaining better equilibrium. A win is a win.

But there are also stressful things about my business, which is maybe what prompts my neurotic desire to work more most of all. I hate leaving things out of place, unfinished, or unresolved… unconquered. If there is more to learn, do, or achieve, I have a hard time putting something aside. Which there is always more of, especially when it comes to marketing. And last week, I had to admit to myself that my current methods of marketing my business weren’t working all that well—both on a financial and emotional level.

Not all of the methods. There are things that Past Me did that are still paying off today, years later, and for that, I’m super grateful. But not all the things. For instance, for the past month, I’ve been stepping back onto social media in an experimental fashion, working on fully separating my author and knitting brands there, and it has yielded some interesting realizations.

Realization One:

Social media is, in general, a huge creativity suck for me. I spend so much time thinking about what to post, taking photos, processing photos, writing captions, and then checking my phone constantly for responses I feel I must respond to myself as soon as possible, that it turns my brain into squirrel food for Deep Work tasks like writing.

Case in point: for the last week and a half, I decided to focus on writing first, and guess what? I’m making progress on my manuscript.

Maybe this is a result of the burnout, or maybe it’s my brain’s normal state, or maybe it’s how human brains work. But doing social media and writing seem to be incongruous activities for me. Which means that, if I’m using social media as a way of staying in touch with my readers and knitting audience and to remind them my products exist, I have to reconsider how and when I’m doing it.

(Notably, my knitting social media account seems to be getting much more interaction than my author one. Still working through what that means for my author social media platform.)

Realization Two:

Advertising is, in general, a huge time, creativity, and now, a money suck for me.

I’ve spent an enormous amount of time over the past several years learning how to use Facebook Ads and Amazon Ads, and I’ve dabbled in BookBub Ads. While I’ve had some moderate success advertising Finding Heaven on Facebook, that has recently gone away and the ads were losing me money. I’ve experimented with advertising my knitting business on Facebook, too, but that never seems to move the needle and I’d be better off flushing my money down the toilet.

Even when I was “successful” at advertising my books, i.e. making a profit, it wasn’t enough to justify the amount of time spent on it. Some months, I’ve spent upwards of five hours a week just creating, analyzing, and tweaking my ads. That’s five hours a week I wasn’t creating books or patterns, and that’s a lot of brain power being syphoned away from the thing that would have actually made me more money… producing more stuff.

I don’t exactly regret spending this time, because I did learn a lot about using those advertising platforms, about myself, and about what ads will and won’t do for me right now. But, as of last week, I’ve decided to go on an advertising hiatus.

Every business needs to promote itself and reach new customers somehow. I was just using that marketing time in a rather ad-heavy way for the last couple of years. And I’ll try ads again in the future when I’ve built out my catalogue of offerings and can use different strategies that will likely give me a better return on investment.

Realization Three:

There are loads of ways to market that don’t involved using ads or social media.* I’m already doing several of them… and they are actually some of my favourite marketing activities.

Namely, I’ve spent sixteen years creating an SEO-rich website through my blog, podcast, and other content. In fact, I get so much traffic that I regularly get pitched to place backlinks or sponsored posts on my site, to the point that I’ve actually had to create a policy about it. Until recently, I wouldn’t even consider either of those. Then I got a pitch that intrigued me and which I thought would serve my audience, but I don’t think they liked my terms and prices, lol, because it didn’t work out. It did, however, cause me to rethink my “ban all outside advertising” policy, thus, the new one. :-)

(I don’t know if any of the people pitching me ever read these policies, but hopefully it’s cut down on the torrent of drek filling up my inbox. Still haven’t received an offer that has actually turned into anything though.)

My philosophy for advertising space on my website is that if it’s going to be advertising a product to my audience, it should be what they came here for—my stuff. It should do it in a natural, organic way, so that you don’t have to fight through a slew of flashing banners and popups to get the value you want. And if I mention some other products or service, it’s because I’ve used it and believe in it and think my audience would benefit from it too.

The process of creating this site others find so attractive—both as users and as advertisers—is one of my favourite things to do. I love blogging. And I actually really enjoy site design and maintenance. It’s weirdly therapeutic as well as creative, kind of like knitting. More importantly, it doesn’t seem to drain me creatively the same way that social media and advertising does.

I also really love creating email newsletters. I’ve been doing these since I started my first business in my early twenties, and they have always been my favourite way to connect with my audience. And they are still one of the most effective methods. Bonus!

So, I’ve decided to embrace slow productivity with my marketing too—I’m stepping back from ads, I’ll be revising my social media strategy so it’s less draining for me throughout the month, and I’ll be doubling down on the things I love—blogging, content marketing, email, and other forms of “slow” marketing. I’m even pondering how I can revive my podcast in a way that’s sustainable for me.

And, in the process, I hope to take another step on my journey back to joy in what I’m doing.

People might even drive to a lemonade stand in the country if the marketing is good enough. Image by John Angel, @johnangelnyc, courtesy of Unsplash.

You might see a bit more variety on this blog in the coming months. Not a ton—it’s still primarily my journal for what I’ve been up to and me processing life. But there are some types of posts I’ve wanted to put up that I just haven’t had the time for, so instead of only seeing my journal-type entries like this, there will likely be a little more behind-the-scenes stuff relating to my books, knitting designs, and other things I’m working on for my business.

And, since this post is already long enough, I’ll leave the details of what that might mean for my next post.

Have you ever stopped to consider whether social media or another regular practice in your life is serving you effectively, or maybe even doing more harm than good? If so, what did you do about it? Tell me in the comments.

Happy Monday!

*Last week, I discovered several podcasts dedicated to this very concept. I’m currently devouring Marketing Without Social Media by Viv Guy, if you’re looking for more about this too.

When winter and summer collide you get snow on your geraniums, thanks to the long fall we had. Winter is here now, though. I’m thankful for my warm house!

Narrowing My Focus

This morning, I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the things. So, naturally, I decided to blog.

Actually, it might seem counterintuitive to add one more thing into a full day, but I find it helps me to slow down and reprioritize and focus. And then the rest of my day goes better.

Photo by Hedi Alija @hedialija, courtesy of Unsplash.

It’s been quite the couple of weeks. I was working on a client project to deadline. Then it was the last week of the kids’ play, and I was quite involved in that, doing makeup, making posters and programs, and a few other odd jobs. Although as far as the makeup goes, I ended up having to miss a few rehearsals and performances because I caught a very nasty cold, the vestiges of which are still lingering.

Unfortunately, I caught that cold from Jabin, and he had it for the last two weeks of rehearsals and performances. It looked like he might lose his voice on opening night… but he didn’t. And he got through the whole weekend.

And he rocked it. Seriously, that kid just blew me away. And a few other folks, too, judging from the comments I keep getting from folks. (Proud mama? Just a smidge.)

He was playing Marty the Zebra in Madagascar Jr., one of the two leads of the play. And he did so good. So did all the other kids. Honestly, it was a wonderful show, and, like musical theatre always does, left me feeling happy and joyful. Even more so because I got to be part of bringing it to life.

I’m a little sad that this is the last year I’ll have a kid in this production. But I hope to still volunteer in some capacity in future years.

The lone, blurry selfie I took with me and Jabin during the show.

Kamber helps Jabin reapply his wig during intermission.

The cast take their final bows. Left to right for the mains (in the centre): Rachel Joy Earle as King Julien the Lemur, Hannah Sadler as Gloria the Hippo, Kayleb Viksush as Alex the Lion, Jabin Winters a Marty the Zebra, and Chloe Ferriss as Melman the Giraffe.

In other news…

Jude finally got a driver’s license last week! Woot! The timing couldn’t have been better—he got it the day I was hit with this cold, so I immediately conscripted him to start helping with the late night pick-ups of kids from work and play practice. So that was a blessing.

I’m making slow progress on my current manuscript. Last week, I signed up for Plottr, which is a visual plotting software and project organizer. I’m in the process of putting my outline into it and tweaking it at the same time, which will be my third rewrite of the outline. And then, I think I’m ready to write in earnest.

My social media hiatus is officially over, both as a user and content creator. I finally started a second Instagram account for my knitting business… and almost immediately wondered what took me so long. There are some minor inconveniences in managing two accounts, but the fact that it is so much easier to produce content and find your audience when you narrow your focus more than makes up for it.

I’ve been having fun planning the content for that account. I have years of gorgeous pattern photos to use, and I’ve come up with some new content ideas because I have the account that will elevate my brand in general, I think.

In addition, I’ve been having fun taking photos of my designs in progress to post. Not just quick snapshots with my phone, but thoughtfully styled photos with my DSLR camera. It’s time-consuming though. I’m in the process of onboarding one of my friends who just started a social media management company to help me. Looking forward to seeing where that goes.

A few photos of my latest design-in-progress, a cable-knit beanie I’ve dubbed the Trailfinder Hat:

Over time, there are several things on my business plate I’d like to hire out. Hopefully, doing so will allow me to narrow my focus a bit more, so these feelings of overwhelm become fewer and further between.

For now, it’s time for me to go focus on something else.

Happy Tuesday, friend, and happy November. May you stay warm wherever you are.