Sparkle the Designer Cat's Blog, page 463

A Soldier’s Tail: Churchill Sends Dogs to the Army – A Guest Post

by Oliver Fluffybottom

Note: This guest post from Mr. Fluffybottom is sponsored. This means the company who sponsored it compensated me to publish it. That said, it was quite wittily done, which is why I agreed to it!

It almost doesn’t bear thinking about, but sometimes we cats need to ponder what those dogs are up to. Although we’re quicker, smarter and — if I do say so myself: a whole lot more stylish — they still have the size advantage. This is enough to make anyone’s fur stand on edge, which is why I’ve been doing a little research on the subject to see exactly what we’re dealing with.

There’s a new U.K. series called Animal Heroes that I’ve been watching with a careful eye, since it’s providing some much-needed insight into what our rivals are capable of. The programme follows a range of working animals in the military and shows exactly how they help with day-to-day operations. It’s really interesting actually and even I have felt proud about some of the things those pooches can achieve — just don’t tell anyone I said that!

Unfortunately, it now looks like things are really getting bad for us kitties. Churchill Insurance, who sponsors the programme, has launched a competition for dog owners to discover whether their canines could cut it in the military and that means any neighbourhood dog could soon have a few more tricks up his sleeve!

They’ve recruited John Fitzpatrick, a former dog handler in the Royal Air Force Police, to make a series of videos demonstrating how to apply military-style training to dogs, and Churchill wants dog owners to teach their pooches these tricks and techniques before filming them completing the tactics and uploading a video for judging.

Four “lucky” dogs will then be selected as winners in a public vote and go on to compete in a military-style assault course with one hound winning the contest and earning a doggy distinction.

The competition is called Churchill’s Dog Boot Camp and while I agree that many dogs need sterner handling, I’m not sure that equipping them with military training is a good move. We cats have only just started to win the war against dogs, but now that they’re going to be properly trained, it might be necessary for us to brush up on our own skills.

Of course, in the meantime we can just laugh at all the failed attempts to get dogs to do as they’re told; a competition which calls for demonstrations of obedience and discipline is sure to throw up some funny clips when dealing with canines — and when a feline version is developed I know our species will excel in every single aspect!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

About My Dad

I am one of the fortunate cats — I know who my dad was. His name was GC Tajhara Miles Davis and I wanted to share about him this Father’s Day because we lost him late last year. He died peacefully in his sleep in November and his human, my breeder, misses him lots. My dad was not just some stud cat — like any good, small breeder, his human considered him a beloved family member and very special.

In addition to being a Grand Champion and the father of other champion cats — and father of the internet’s most famous Somali cat (me!) — Dad was also a supermodel. He appeared on the cover of Cat Fancy Magazine twice, in 2001 and 2004, representing the Somali breed.

Can you see the resemblance between my dad and me?

But the titles he won at shows and his magazine credits don’t really tell you who he was. My dad was a friendly guy who never met a stranger, and was very loyal. Whenever a family member was ill, he was there in bed with them, sending them healing purrs and energy. He was that kind of a kitty.

He was named Miles because of his human’s love of music. (In fact, my mother was named Tina Turner.) Like his human, my dad loved jazz and enjoyed listening to his favorite tunes while traveling to the shows in which he competed.

Dad’s human does not have many photos of him — a lot of photos she had were lost in a computer crash. But this one, I think, really captures who he was.

While most of Miles’ kids are just homecats like me (I did not have a show temperament and I was spayed shortly after I came to live with my human), he lives on in a daughter, CH Tajhara Jazzy Jane and a son, Tajhara Elson of Chatboulie who lives in South Korea! There is also granddaughter, CH Tajhara Calamity Jane of Gunsmoke and two grandsons which my human hopes to meet at a cat show sometime in the future, Tajhara Gato Barbieri and Tajhara Miles to Myles (a take on the Miles Davis tune, “Miles to Miles”). But even though we all carry hints of who he was, my dad was an exceptional guy and he really set a high bar for all of us, not just in looks, but in kindness.

I love you, Daddy. I will always remember you.

Photos of Miles courtesy of Tajhara Somalis

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Remember to nominate me for The Petties, especially my story Humans Are Willfully Destroying Our Bird TV (http://www.sparklecat.com/special/humans-are-willfully-destroying-our-bird-tv) for Best Blog Post! You can do this every day until June 28 — the more times, the better!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Photo Hunt: Unknown

For several days, Boodie went out of her way to move that pesky Sleeky Lounge XL so she could nap on the wood floor next to it. Yeah, I can’t figure out why either. Her reasoning is completely unknown… which, by some odd coincidence, is the theme of this week’s Photo Hunt!

She did not seem to mind sleeping this way at all.

Binga didn’t mind either.

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Remember to nominate me for The Petties, especially my story Humans Are Willfully Destroying Our Bird TV (http://www.sparklecat.com/special/humans-are-willfully-destroying-our-bird-tv) for Best Blog Post! You can do this every day until June 28 — the more times, the better!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

I Got Carded!

Remember the AmazeCats Next Top Cat competition from a couple of months ago? Now 30 of us are on playing cards, with a percentage of each purchase going to Cocheco Valley Humane Society. This organization was chosen by the Next Top Cat winner, Little Bear.

Can you guess which card I am? Since Smoky got the Queen of Hearts, there was only one card I could possibly be:

That’s right! I am the Three of Hearts!

Find out which other kitties are featured on the rest of the desk, and preorder yours here!

Orders will be shipped on June 26 (just two days after Cat World Domination Day!). They are very reasonably priced at $12, and benefit a good cause, so go for it!

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Remember to nominate me for The Petties, especially my story Humans Are Willfully Destroying Our Bird TV (http://www.sparklecat.com/special/humans-are-willfully-destroying-our-bird-tv) for Best Blog Post! You can do this every day until June 28 — the more times, the better!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Not My Kitty Birthday

My human found out from the Catsparella blog that a store not far from us called JapanLA was celebrating its seventh birthday. It looked like about 90% of the things they sold had cats on them, so she had to go.

It was a mob scene! There was even a huge line to get in… and this was a store where humans buy stuff, not a club! And of course my human did not get herself on any list ahead of time or flash her Cat Writers Association card; she just waited in line like a peon. I am surprised she has survived in Los Angeles for as long as she has. Anyhow, once she got in, she saw she was right — this place was pretty much packed to the gills with kitty themed things, not to mention other humans who were considerably younger than she was.

Much of it was Hello Kitty stuff, but not your usual Hello Kitty stuff. I have to say, a lot of these things were beyond anything most Hello Kitty fans could imagine!

There was also an art show. I am surprised my human did not plunk down even more money for something else to hang on our office wall. But she managed to restrain herself.

She did buy a couple of small things, which the cashier put in this awesome, way oversized bag! Binga and I were all over it in a flash.

As soon as she saw what my human bought, though, Binga took off. After all, who cares about a silly necklace?

And for once I think she had the right idea because I had to model it. I was not pleased.

I refused to pose with the Hello Kitty iPhone case.

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Remember to nominate me for The Petties, especially my story Humans Are Willfully Destroying Our Bird TV (http://www.sparklecat.com/special/humans-are-willfully-destroying-our-bird-tv) for Best Blog Post! You can do this every day until June 28 — the more times, the better!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Wordless Wednesday: Pissy Cats

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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Anar-Kitty in the USA

As you can see, Binga got into one of the bags of treats my human brought home from BlogPaws, and she is completely unrepentant about it! So I thought I would devote a song to her. Cody’s human did a song on his blog, and Katie did one about Waffles. But let’s face it, the Beatles are too nice for the likes of Binga! She deserves something more raw and nihilistic. Something like… the Sex Pistols! So here you go:

Anar-Kitty in the USA

ME-OW, ha-ha-ha!

I am a trouble cat

I am an anarchist

Don’t know what I want

But I know how to get it

I wanna destroy this bag of treats!

‘Cause I wanna eat all the treats

No dog treats for me

Anar-kitty in the USA

It’s coming on Cat World Domination Day

I give ‘em a line, blow the humans’ minds

Your future dream comes in catnip green

‘Cause I wanna be anarchy

That’s this kitty!

How many ways to get what you want

I use the best, put the humans to the test

I steal the bag of treats

For energy to cause anarchy

‘Cause I wanna be an anar-kitty

It’s the only way to be!

Is this the SCA*

Or is this the ACA**

Or is this the SCRA***

I thought it was the SPCA!

Or just another cat rescue

Not the ACC!

I wanna be an anar-kitty

And I wanna be an anar-kitty

(It’s not a game)

And I wanna eat all the treats

And kill all of my toys!

Here is the original — tell me if by the end you don’t hear him singing anar-kitty!

If you can’t see the above video, click here to watch it on YouTube!

* Stray Cat Alliance

** Alley Cat Allies

*** Street Cat Rescue, Austin (Yes, they are all feral cat rescues.)

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Remember to nominate me for The Petties, especially my story Humans Are Willfully Destroying Our Bird TV (http://www.sparklecat.com/special/humans-are-willfully-destroying-our-bird-tv) for Best Blog Post! You can do this every day until June 28 — the more times, the better!
* * *
Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

My Big June Announcement

Yes, I am very serious today! Because I am about to make a big announcement that will impact kitties everywhere!

That’s right — Cat World Domination Day is an annual event! Oh, and it also happens to be my birthday.

As most of you recall, Cat World Domination Day began last year on my tenth birthday. But cat world domination is not a one-time thing — we dominate all the time! So we should have an annual celebration. Once again this year, I am having a party, and we will all get a chance to celebrate our world dominance.

Until then, you can let the world know we are in charge with these badges — feel free to snag ‘em and show them off on your blog, or where ever else you want:

This is the medium size, which is 250 px wide.

This is the smaller size. It’s 160 px wide.

We kitties rule, and that is always a cause for a celebration, but be here on June 24 and we’ll really party!
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Sunday Catinee: Surprise Guest Appearance

This speaker human was working on a promo video when he got a surprise visit! There is not much else to say… just watch!

If you can’t see the above video, click here to watch it on YouTube!

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Remember to nominate me for The Petties, especially my story Humans Are Willfully Destroying Our Bird TV (http://www.sparklecat.com/special/humans-are-willfully-destroying-our-bird-tv) for Best Blog Post! You can do this every day until June 28 — the more times, the better!
* * *
Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!

Photo Hunt: Grin

Admit it, didn’t these photos make you Grin?

And if you’re wondering if I ever grin, why yes, I do:

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Remember to nominate me for The Petties, especially my story Humans Are Willfully Destroying Our Bird TV (http://www.sparklecat.com/special/humans-are-willfully-destroying-our-bird-tv) for Best Blog Post! You can do this every day until June 28 — the more times, the better!
* * *
Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!