David Vienna's Blog, page 110
June 23, 2020
I’m a liberal, but if Obama said I needed to stick my tongue in an electric socket to save the...
I’m a liberal, but if Obama said I needed to stick my tongue in an electric socket to save the economy, I’d say, “No fucking thanks, Obama.” So, if Trump tells you that a mask is not needed during a MOTHERFUCKING PANDEMIC, maybe you should think for your goddamn self.
June 20, 2020
thedaddycomplex:
topherchris:Disney+ didn’t want butts on their...
Disney+ didn’t want butts on their platform so they edited Splash with digital fur technology (via @AllisonPregler)
What’d they do with this?
UPDATE: Disney left the dick joke in as well as the follow-up “Swedish porn” mention.
If you need a distraction from the world absolutely falling the...
If you need a distraction from the world absolutely falling the fuck apart, you should totes listen to Barren. It’s an old school story in the vein of Stephen King and ‘80s horror flicks. (Ep. 5 just came out and Ep. 6, the finale, comes out next week.)
When reporter Peter Sommers returns to his grandparents’ farm in the
wake of their death, he uncovers a horrifying mystery that challenges
everything he knows about his family, his sanity and reality itself.
It’s got mystery! It’s got chills! It’s got foul language!… It’s got everything.
Oh, and if you dig it, leave a review, won’t ya? Thanks a big ol’ steaming heap.
June 19, 2020
Pandemic, but make it comedy.
Pandemic, but make it comedy.
bluegrasskitty:
anexperimentallife:
guanshiyin:
shizukadoumeki:
Ppl who wear glasses: How do you...
Ppl who wear glasses: How do you keep them clean because holy shit
We don’t.
I just got new glasses for the first time in a decade or two. Accurate.
I use a shammy cloth thing to clean mine.
Any and all special coatings will cause more smudges. So extra protection for UV/A light, shatter-proofing, whatever, you will get more smears.
I highly recommend cleaning your glasses in the morning with your shammy & then CLOSING YOUR EYES WHILE YOU PUT THEM ON.
Get them settled and ONLY THEN should you open your eyes.
Your brain can ignore a lot of things. This will help it ignore any little spots you missed.
Immediately look at the nearest light source and tilt your head a few times to catch any smears you may have missed.
Shammy & try again.
Source: Been wearing glasses (no contacts) since I was 9mo old.
June 16, 2020
barrenpodcast:Sinister rituals. Strange creatures. A loaded...
Sinister rituals. Strange creatures. A loaded shotgun. Catch up on Barren before the final two episodes hit this month… Or are you scared?
June 14, 2020
my favorite davids, ranked
here’s a definitive and totally subjective rating of davids
donatello: 3/10
honestly pretty embarrassing, but worth a mention. just your run-of-the-mill, oh-you-haven’t-heard-we’re-copying-classical-greek-sculpture-now david. stiff, awkward, and pretty dopey looking twunk. has the same expression of someone being told dona-fucking-tello sculpted this. can’t even hold his slingshot bc it’s too gay. don’t worry there’s a redemption arc on its way.
donatello pt 2: 9/10
fucking superb you funky little gay man. total glow up. a complete deviation from the norm by a well-known deviant. takes contrapposto to sultry new heights. look at this lad’s little hat and boots he’s not a nude he’s just naked. some people say goliath’s head is modeled off of donatello himself literally he was horny enough he said “step on me” in full fucking bronze. goliath’s helmet has little gay greek reliefs on it, not even remotely subtle. look at the feather going up his thigh and tell me u didn’t cross your legs when you did. commissioned by the medici for their palace, which makes it even cooler by association.
verocchio: 8/10 ily baby
a perfectly fine lad, looking at him makes me smile. his little dress is so cute with its stylized arabic psuedo-script border, and the floral pasties? adorable. something about goliath’s head feels a little disjointed, but you know what? fuck him. he’s not important. david’s the real star here in his little cheerleader get up. what really makes me biased towards this one is that the model was supposedly verocchio’s star student, the young leonardo da vinci. and look how fucking radiant he is! love it.
michelangelo: 7/10
technically this thing’s great. look at the fucking veins on the hand that’s absolutely mental. but all in all it lacks the overtly homosexual intrigue of some other davids and, frankly, i expected more from well-documented gay disaster michelangelo. obviously a classic but also makes it prone to being too over-saturated. i do love his yaoi hands though.
bernini: 11/10
the man the myth the fucking legend! bernini always delivers and this david’s no expception. look at that movement! the drama! the whole thing screams baroque in the best possible way with the dynamism, the momentary narrative, that cute lil scrunched up face. only complaint is that it isn’t as good as some of bernini’s other work but i’m willing to let it go for the detailing on the fucking rope goddamn gian lorenzo you absolute madman. we stan a sculpting legend.
“frankly, i expected more from well-documented gay disaster michelangelo“
as an art historian, this is correct.
I concur with this research
As a David who has a full head of hair and a nice career, I’m bummed I’m not on this list.
