Evil Editor's Blog, page 470

Writing Exercise Results . . .

. . . are in the posts below. The task was to write a scene in which you are a well-known movie character attempting to convince Evil Editor to publish your memoir.[image error]

Movie Character Memoir 14

What can I do for you, Mr. . . . Tidwell?

I'll tell you what you can do for me. You can SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Pardon?

SHOW ME THE MONEY!

First things first, sir. TELL ME THE STORY! Better yet, get an agent and let him tell me the story.

I got an agent. He ain't worth a damn.

Who is it?

Name's Jerry Maguire.

Never heard of him.

Looks a little like Tom Cruise? Except Jerry can act.

The story?

It's my memoir. I'm a wide receiver for--

No one reads football fiction. I'm afraid--

Look, writers got a shelf life of te

Writing Exercise

You are a character (not actor) in a well-known movie. You're in Evil Editor's office trying to convince him to publish your memoir. Write the scene. 300 words max, deadline Sunday at 10 AM eastern.

New Beginning 614

News of the Dark Queen's death came to Princess Tasria in the midst of her third bout with the weapons master. Distracted by the royal messenger's waving arms, she let Ofornio's sword-tip slip past her guard and thump the breath out of her. For a time she knew nothing but spinning blackness and whooping after air. When she straightened and pulled off the grilled practice-helm, the messenger's errand had been overtaken by shouts of jubilation along the narrow streets of Evermorna's capitol, cheer

Cartoon 339

Caption: Evil Editor

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Face-Lift 611

Guess the Plot

Just Cause

1. Why little Billy tipped over the milk, pulled the cat's tail, set the washing machine on fire, and drove a bulldozer through the neighbor's house.

2. OK, maybe smearing his carpet with vaseline and then strewing birdseed all over the room was a somewhat passive-agressive response to his cheating on her, but she firmly believed that she had . . . Just Cause.

3. Pedophile Priests were bad enough, but when Katherine discovers her son was brutalized and murdered by members o

Cartoon 338

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Fake Plots needed . . .

for

Just Cause (No more 'Just Because' gags, please)

How to Save a Prince

Not a Fairy Princess

Evil Editor on House tonight.

House treats an evil editor tonight. Not THE Evil Editor. AN Evil Editor.

New Beginning 613 (Chapter Opening)

The hot tub man was a regular. He came in early almost every day, so he could claim the same stool, two seats in from the front door, away from the afternoon sunlight. He worked at this hot tub and sauna store a few blocks away, standing at the crusty edge of the old part of the city, the netherworld blocks that formed the boundary between gentrification and decay.

These were the battleground blocks, and that was where all the fun was, and one of the reasons was guys like this hairy, oily, hot tu