Evil Editor's Blog, page 446

Q & A 171

Having read your blog and Miss Snark's, I've got your opinion of self-publishing: bad idea. But (of course there's a but) I have an offer from CreateSpace for a free proof copy of my book. I got the offer through NaNoWriMo (I reached 50,000), so it's legit enough until the offer's deadline, June 1. All I want is a single print copy of some of my short stories, just for me. I will NOT let it be available on Amazon or anything like that, because I know self-publishing like that could destroy any c

Cartoon 392

Caption: anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
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Writing Exercise Results . . .

. . . are in the posts below. The task was to write a scene featuring Evil Editor appearing on a talk show.[image error]

Talk Show 7

“The ups and downs of your, shall we say, shadow life with the hopeful writers on your blog; the story of it all, the genesis, the opening, if you will, and the continuation through several years of working with them; all make for fine reading. The unsuspected intermittent connection of actual pathos, the pathetic attempts at pathos resulting in bathos, the amazing humor, the occasional crisp, clean surprise, the personalities, clashing and, of course, otherwise…”

Ed smiled. “I note you’ve mixed

Talk Show 6

"Thank you for joining us Mr. Editor. I've been searching my mind for a classic to discuss with you. I decided to choose one for which I had great admiration and wanted new insight."

"Pleased to be here. I'm sure I could give new insight into anything you choose."

"I'm keen on discussing Ibsen's wonderful play, _A Doll's House_. With the improved but still fledgling new roles of women today, I wonder what fresh insights the play offers. I note particularly that the play was careful to characterize

Talk Show 5

“I see here you’re a fan of The Wind In The Willows. Is that — heh — because you identify with Toad?”

Evil adjusted his pince nez. To STUN.

“Let’s just say I have a penchant for...furry animals. Maybe you’ll meet them after the show. At dead of night.”

“Say what?”

“I understand his plight.”

“Yes, it seems like an innocent children’s tale, but Grahame’s portrayal—”

“Listen,” said Evil, bustling forward in his chair, “fuck The Wind In The Willows, let’s talk about my book...”

“What about Heidi?”

“Fuck tha

Talk Show 4

"Hey kid. My contract demands included stocking the green room with all flavors of Häagen Dazs. I don't see any vanilla."

"Sorry, sir. I couldn't get it, but I did get some Ben and Jerry's vanilla."

"Ben and Jerry's doesn't pay me for product placement on my blog. Plus, Jerry's an idiot."

"Sorry, sir. Perhaps you could try a different flavor?"

"Sometimes you just have a craving for vanilla. There's gotta be a Kroger store somewhere in this city. See what you can do."

"Yes sir. Anything else?"

"Some sp

Talk Show 3

"The Book-TV Schoolbus is in Macon County, Georgia for the Macon-Bacon Bibliomaniac BookApalooza discussing literary classics with renowned Blogger, Evil Editor. What upcoming, new-again classics do you recommend?" Peter asked.

"You mean aside from Slip Me A Benjamin and I'm Yours Forever?"

"I'm not familiar with that title," Slen said.

"Can't say I didn't try. Now did you know that Plornk Publishing of Seattle just issued a new edition of Atlas Shrugged? That's a stunning work of unbridled genius.

Talk Show 2

"Good evening bookworms and welcome to The Road to Publishing on Book-TV. I'm your host, Warren Booker. Writers everywhere are piling up unpublished manuscripts. To help correct this tragedy, tonight we'll be talking with Evil Editor, author of Why You Don't Get Published."

The lights brightened and theme music played. Evil's stomach rumbled; he'd missed lunch.

Warren said, "So, Evil, why don't writers get published?"

"They don't make it out of the slush pile," said Evil. "People send query letters

Talk Show 1

The host turned to the camera. “After numerous agents rejected our invitation to appear on this show, we took a brave leap forward and went directly to the editors ourselves. Please welcome, for the first time on video - outside of his blog - Evil Editor.”

Thunder filled the room, emanating from both the enthusiastic applause of the studio audience and Evil Editor’s footsteps. EE crossed the stage and settled into the overstuffed chair next to the host’s desk.

“I’d like to thank you for coming on