Evil Editor's Blog, page 444

Writing Exercise Result 11

“Evil Ed’s called for a meeting of the minions tonight, but I’m not sure if I want to go,” I said to Steve as we tossed our garbage into the dumpster.

“Why not?”

Oh, because it’s in Flushing. You know how I hate crossing the East River.”

“You should go. Queens is virtually tourist-free. And I’m on the graveyard shift at the lab again tonight, so I won’t be around to keep you company. Besides, you’ll enjoy it. Remember how much fun you guys had at that brothel the last time?” Steve chuckled, nodding

Writing Exercise Result 10

Just as buildings must have a foundation, so did postman Ed Widebottom learn his delivery skills as a paperboy.

Evil Editor rolled his eyes. Yet another one-sentence rejection. He was about to toss the manuscript into the raging inferno in his fireplace when he decided he needed a laugh. So he penned an acceptance letter:

Mr. Widebottom:

All homebuyers will recognize the pedantic properties of your opening analogy. I foresee total domination of the literary field throughout your lifetime and beyond

Writing Exercise Result 9

It was a mistake to have the reception for your wedding at Camelot. Carlotta frowned at the rowdies—her new husband’s relatives, of course, while the musician and professor were hers. But the rowdies weren’t the worst of it—the worst was the stampede of villains wearing armor. Her new husband, who was a whisperer, couldn’t be heard above their battle cries. Apparently some hapless city slickers had set the knights off, and the genuine linen napkins weren’t making good truce flags.


Other than that

Writing Exercise Result 8

EE's chihuahua sauntered into the study and laid her head on the only part within reach--his bare foot.

"Sorry, Grisha, I'm on deadline. This ms for Village of Forever could be worth six million dollars. Easy."

Grisha dribbled hopefully on his bare toes.

Stretching his arm out, EE almost managed to brush her head with his fingertips. "Picture this, Grish. Playboy billionaire Zeke Car--" Grish snapped at his pinkie. "Ouch! Er, benevolent millionaire--" he hesitated "--er, Zeke Carmichael...?" Grisha

Writing Exercise Result 7

'Twas an ill sirocco that blew him to the caravan, so they said. Afterwards.

The director grabbed Evil Editor as he stumbled out from between the wagons. "It's about time you got here. What's your name?"

"Evil. I'm the one who called about researching the Outer Mongolia antiquities collection for the author of--"

"Yeah, whatever. Look, Evie, I'm not asking for a Corps of Engineers specialist and I don't care what kind of clandestine organizations you normally work for. I just need an electrician,"

Writing Exercise Result 6

When revolutionaries burst into Evil Editor's bedroom, he could see that they had the worst possible designs on his person.

"Fiend!" cried their leader. "Today, you pay for your atrocities!"

"Atrocities?" asked EE, astonished.

"The myriad murders you committed!" replied the leader. "You have deprived the grieving mother of her child, torn the newlywed from her husband's arms ... you destroyed the population of whole nations!"

"Errr ... you realise you're talking about fictional characters, right? So

Writing Exercise Result 5

The parade, patterned after the Mummers of Old Philadelphia, celebrated Aldebaran Three's Holiday of Hoopla and Hullabaloo. Thrusters dressed in flamboyant costumes floated, parade-like, through the central core of the Aldebaran Three, directly above the capitol building. Each saluted President Garnforth as they passed the viewing stand. One of the more extravagantly costumed Thrusters fell from the anti-gravity of the core and flew towards the ground at full gravity, two miles beneath. The huma

Writing Exercise Result 4

Vladimir alighted outside the church in the quaint British village. He had come here in hope the tranquil surroundings could help him forget the fiasco at Westminster.

But no matter how much he wished to, he could not get the scene out of his mind. The American girl, skin like porcelain, her arms wrapped around her girlfriend in a passionate embrace. The young man, screaming from the nave about his standards. And his own fangs, slipping from the twisting man's neck and ending up in his penis.

Well

Saturday Film Series

You never know what's going down in Evil Editor's Shorts. Or who.




[image error]

New Beginning 644

The car skimmed across the edge of the road around the mountain. Ashley held on to the seat as if her life depended on it, who knew -- maybe it would, anything was possible with James driving. She wondered why she did it to herself. Everyone in school knew James failed his driving test five times before finally getting his licence. So why did she agree to get in the car with him. Especially this car; her life would be over if anything happened to it. James talked her around of course.

Ashley's ha